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1
00:00:34,984 --> 00:00:36,935
Hello?
2
00:00:37,003 --> 00:00:39,204
Oh, hey, Janet.
3
00:00:39,272 --> 00:00:41,222
Yeah, we got our tickets.
4
00:00:41,290 --> 00:00:44,342
Yeah, we can't wait
to see you either.
5
00:00:44,410 --> 00:00:46,945
Uh, ok. It's your mom.
6
00:00:47,013 --> 00:00:48,980
She wants to know if we
still like corn chex.
7
00:00:50,349 --> 00:00:52,650
Uh, yeah.
8
00:00:52,718 --> 00:00:55,003
Yeah, that's a green
light on the corn chex.
9
00:00:55,071 --> 00:00:57,906
Ok. Bye-bye, hon.
10
00:00:57,973 --> 00:01:00,509
Ok, that's the 14th
call about our trip.
11
00:01:00,577 --> 00:01:02,678
You know my mom. She just wants
it to be great for us down there.
12
00:01:02,745 --> 00:01:04,263
No, I know. I love your mom.
13
00:01:04,363 --> 00:01:06,081
I just wish she didn't
have to work so hard
14
00:01:06,148 --> 00:01:08,449
when we come there.
15
00:01:08,517 --> 00:01:10,919
Hey, maybe this time we can
take the burden off her
16
00:01:10,987 --> 00:01:14,122
and stay in a hotel
or something.
17
00:01:14,190 --> 00:01:16,991
A hotel. Interesting.
18
00:01:17,059 --> 00:01:17,992
Isn't it?
19
00:01:18,060 --> 00:01:19,094
Yeah. You know what
else we could do?
20
00:01:19,161 --> 00:01:22,063
We could smack her in
the face with a shovel.
21
00:01:22,131 --> 00:01:24,082
Would you just think
of it for a moment?
22
00:01:24,150 --> 00:01:27,452
I mean, we'd see your parents
just as much during the day,
23
00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:29,254
get in all that family goodness,
24
00:01:29,322 --> 00:01:30,789
and then at night
we'd stay in a hotel.
25
00:01:30,856 --> 00:01:32,057
We have a little privacy,
26
00:01:32,124 --> 00:01:34,026
you know, without
all their stuff
27
00:01:34,093 --> 00:01:37,829
that makes us a little crazy.
Heh.
28
00:01:37,897 --> 00:01:39,932
Uh, what-what stuff?
29
00:01:39,999 --> 00:01:40,933
Doug, come on. Like-
30
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,385
like the fact that we can't
leave the house after 8:00
31
00:01:43,452 --> 00:01:45,020
because they set the alarm
32
00:01:45,087 --> 00:01:49,590
and it's too complicated to
teach us a 4-digit code.
33
00:01:49,658 --> 00:01:52,227
Followed by "pound."
34
00:01:52,294 --> 00:01:53,862
And once that red light is on,
35
00:01:53,929 --> 00:01:54,979
we are stuck there!
36
00:01:55,047 --> 00:01:58,066
Do you know in prison,
they call that lockdown?
37
00:01:58,134 --> 00:02:00,235
So now staying at my
parents' is like prison?
38
00:02:00,303 --> 00:02:01,402
No, because in prison
39
00:02:01,437 --> 00:02:05,056
you could actually flush
the toilet past 8:30.
40
00:02:05,124 --> 00:02:06,108
They're light sleepers, ok?
41
00:02:06,175 --> 00:02:08,243
And by the way, I'm
not quite sure prison
42
00:02:08,311 --> 00:02:10,595
is the paradise you think it is.
43
00:02:10,663 --> 00:02:12,814
All right, take your mother's
feelings out of this for a second.
44
00:02:12,881 --> 00:02:13,899
This is about you.
45
00:02:13,966 --> 00:02:16,384
You're saying you would
actually rather stay
46
00:02:16,452 --> 00:02:19,087
in your parents'
retirement complex
47
00:02:19,155 --> 00:02:20,388
than in a beautiful room
48
00:02:20,456 --> 00:02:23,558
stocked with liquor
and dirty movies?
49
00:02:32,418 --> 00:02:34,619
No!
50
00:02:34,687 --> 00:02:35,787
But we can't stay in a hotel.
51
00:02:35,855 --> 00:02:37,189
Ok? We just can't!
52
00:02:37,224 --> 00:02:38,523
Look, Doug-ok, look,
53
00:02:38,591 --> 00:02:40,825
your mom will be upset
for a minute, ok,
54
00:02:40,860 --> 00:02:42,294
but then she'll get over it,
55
00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:44,729
and we're adults here!
We're in our thirties.
56
00:02:44,797 --> 00:02:46,298
We're allowed to do this.
57
00:02:46,366 --> 00:02:48,450
It's like that time
you finally realized
58
00:02:48,517 --> 00:02:51,469
you can have cookies
before dinner.
59
00:02:52,972 --> 00:02:55,239
You told me I couldn't have
cookies before dinner.
60
00:02:55,307 --> 00:02:57,042
You can't, ok?
61
00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:58,710
I'm just saying your
parents aren't the ones
62
00:02:58,778 --> 00:02:59,778
who are stopping you.
63
00:02:59,845 --> 00:03:01,363
Ok, you know what?
My head is spinning.
64
00:03:01,430 --> 00:03:03,414
If I go get a cookie right now,
what's gonna happen to me?
65
00:03:03,482 --> 00:03:04,849
Doug...
66
00:03:04,901 --> 00:03:07,602
Please, honey, let's just
do this this one time, ok?
67
00:03:07,620 --> 00:03:08,770
We set the precedent.
68
00:03:08,837 --> 00:03:10,805
We never have to have
this conversation again.
69
00:03:10,873 --> 00:03:12,324
I will dial the
number for you, ok?
70
00:03:12,391 --> 00:03:14,225
Your fingers don't even
have to touch the buttons.
71
00:03:14,293 --> 00:03:15,294
Please? Come on, honey.
72
00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:16,611
Come on. I'm calling.
73
00:03:17,813 --> 00:03:20,198
All right, all right.
Let's do it.
74
00:03:20,266 --> 00:03:23,218
She'll be fine, I promise.
75
00:03:23,285 --> 00:03:24,752
Hey, mom.
76
00:03:24,820 --> 00:03:26,421
Uh, look, Carrie and
I were talking,
77
00:03:26,488 --> 00:03:28,356
and we need to tell
you something.
78
00:03:28,424 --> 00:03:30,575
Uh, we've...
79
00:03:30,642 --> 00:03:33,644
Kind of turned against
the corn chex.
80
00:03:39,251 --> 00:03:41,152
You know what skill
I realized I have?
81
00:03:41,220 --> 00:03:43,021
I can tell who's
doing the voice-over
82
00:03:43,088 --> 00:03:44,122
on any commercial.
83
00:03:44,190 --> 00:03:46,425
And I'm not talkin' James
Earl Jones for verizon.
84
00:03:46,492 --> 00:03:47,992
All right? That's kid stuff.
85
00:03:48,060 --> 00:03:51,129
I'm talkin' Lisa
kudrow for aquafina.
86
00:03:51,197 --> 00:03:53,631
Yeah, it's her.
87
00:03:53,699 --> 00:03:54,850
You wanna talk skills?
88
00:03:54,917 --> 00:03:58,553
I can always tell whether
a dog is a girl or a boy.
89
00:03:58,621 --> 00:03:59,621
You mean, without
looking underneath?
90
00:03:59,689 --> 00:04:00,838
Yeah, see, that's what
makes it a skill.
91
00:04:00,906 --> 00:04:03,925
See, otherwise,
it's just looking.
92
00:04:05,410 --> 00:04:07,612
Wow, I really missed
these conversations
93
00:04:07,679 --> 00:04:09,180
when we were separated.
94
00:04:09,248 --> 00:04:12,333
What's her problem? She
ain't got no skills?
95
00:04:12,401 --> 00:04:13,385
She's just mad
96
00:04:13,453 --> 00:04:15,220
'cause I'm making her go
skiing for a vacation.
97
00:04:15,287 --> 00:04:16,521
Oh, it's too damn cold.
98
00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,840
Hey, when are you guys
going on vacation?
99
00:04:18,907 --> 00:04:20,692
Next week. He's dragging me
up to some lodge in Vermont.
100
00:04:20,759 --> 00:04:21,726
Yeah, it's gonna be great.
101
00:04:21,794 --> 00:04:22,894
Fun for us and fun for them
102
00:04:22,962 --> 00:04:25,864
to see what black
people look like.
103
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:28,433
Um, Doug, come with
me to the salad bar.
104
00:04:28,501 --> 00:04:29,984
What?
105
00:04:30,052 --> 00:04:32,521
Come with me to the salad bar.
106
00:04:32,588 --> 00:04:35,790
Uh, I don't eat the salad
when it's brought to me.
107
00:04:35,857 --> 00:04:38,326
Definitely not makin' a
special trip for it.
108
00:04:38,394 --> 00:04:40,345
They have a taco section.
109
00:04:40,413 --> 00:04:42,080
Really? Mm-hmm.
110
00:04:47,586 --> 00:04:49,854
Ok, where-where's
the taco section?
111
00:04:49,922 --> 00:04:51,556
Listen, I lied, ok?
112
00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:54,825
You lied? Ok, I'm a person.
113
00:04:54,893 --> 00:04:56,979
Doug, listen to me.
Deacon and Kelly
114
00:04:57,046 --> 00:05:00,548
are going on vacation
the same time as us.
115
00:05:00,616 --> 00:05:02,217
So? So if we talk
them into going
116
00:05:02,285 --> 00:05:04,335
to Florida with us instead,
117
00:05:04,403 --> 00:05:06,171
we can't stay at
your parents' house.
118
00:05:06,238 --> 00:05:07,505
They don't have
enough room for us!
119
00:05:07,573 --> 00:05:09,407
We have to stay in a hotel!
120
00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:11,642
You see? That way, your
parents are not offended,
121
00:05:11,710 --> 00:05:13,144
and we set our precedent,
122
00:05:13,212 --> 00:05:14,745
and everybody's happy!
123
00:05:14,813 --> 00:05:15,913
Oh, my God, they're looking.
124
00:05:15,981 --> 00:05:18,166
Get some salad, get some salad.
125
00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:20,818
Ok, but Deacon and Kelly aren't
gonna change their vacation
126
00:05:20,886 --> 00:05:22,220
just so we don't have
to stay at my parents'.
127
00:05:22,288 --> 00:05:24,089
I know. We don't
tell them that part.
128
00:05:24,156 --> 00:05:26,874
We just say, "you know, we
haven't all gone away together"
129
00:05:26,942 --> 00:05:28,610
since you guys got
back together,"
130
00:05:28,678 --> 00:05:30,244
how it's all about the foursome,
131
00:05:30,313 --> 00:05:31,613
blah, blah, blah.
132
00:05:31,681 --> 00:05:33,064
Kelly doesn't wanna
go to Vermont anyway.
133
00:05:33,132 --> 00:05:34,816
She'll be all over this!
134
00:05:34,883 --> 00:05:35,967
This could work.
135
00:05:36,035 --> 00:05:37,418
Hey, what are you doing?
136
00:05:37,486 --> 00:05:39,170
I- I don't know. I panicked.
I went all baby corn.
137
00:05:39,238 --> 00:05:40,955
All right, put some dressing
on, put some dressing on!
138
00:05:40,990 --> 00:05:43,058
Ok. All right, let's do this.
139
00:05:43,126 --> 00:05:45,793
But don't sit too close to me, 'cause I'm
gonna accidentally knock this on the floor.
140
00:05:45,861 --> 00:05:46,794
Ok. Come on.
141
00:05:51,884 --> 00:05:53,718
So, look at us,
142
00:05:53,786 --> 00:05:55,620
all four of us together.
143
00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:57,722
This is great. This is great.
144
00:05:57,790 --> 00:05:59,624
I wonder what else we could do?
145
00:06:02,662 --> 00:06:05,029
You see? I told you
this would work out.
146
00:06:05,097 --> 00:06:06,297
I guess your mother
didn't take us
147
00:06:06,365 --> 00:06:08,399
staying at the hotel
too hard, huh?
148
00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:13,438
I said, "huh?"
149
00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:18,009
Oh, my God!
150
00:06:18,077 --> 00:06:20,645
I tried to tell her. I couldn't!
151
00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:21,930
There they are!
152
00:06:21,998 --> 00:06:24,015
Hi, kids! Hi! Hey!
153
00:06:24,083 --> 00:06:26,351
Ohh! Hi!
154
00:06:26,418 --> 00:06:28,186
Hi, how you doin', dad?
Nice to see you.
155
00:06:28,253 --> 00:06:30,421
Hi, sweetheart. Hi.
156
00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:31,556
You kids look great!
157
00:06:31,624 --> 00:06:33,257
Don't they look great, Joe?
158
00:06:33,526 --> 00:06:34,392
Why aren't you standing
under the chute
159
00:06:34,460 --> 00:06:36,644
where the bags come out? What?
160
00:06:36,662 --> 00:06:37,511
Now we'll be stuck
at the other end
161
00:06:37,579 --> 00:06:39,130
of the carousel in Siberia!
162
00:06:39,198 --> 00:06:40,131
Get comfortable, people.
163
00:06:40,199 --> 00:06:41,265
We're gonna be here all day.
164
00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:43,134
We're not gonna be here all day.
165
00:06:43,202 --> 00:06:45,737
No, we're not, because I'm gonna
shimmy my way under the chute.
166
00:06:45,805 --> 00:06:47,355
Doug, you see one of those
sittin' around, grab it.
167
00:06:47,422 --> 00:06:48,740
I'm not coughing up 2 bucks
168
00:06:48,808 --> 00:06:51,476
for a glorified shopping cart.
169
00:06:51,544 --> 00:06:53,611
You kids must be tired.
170
00:06:53,679 --> 00:06:54,912
We'll go home, we'll have lunch,
171
00:06:54,980 --> 00:06:57,048
and then you can
take a nice nap.
172
00:06:57,115 --> 00:06:59,784
Oh, by the way, good news.
173
00:06:59,936 --> 00:07:02,304
Costco was willing to
swap the corn chex
174
00:07:02,371 --> 00:07:04,672
for the rice chex even-Stevens.
175
00:07:04,740 --> 00:07:06,758
Whew! Crisis averted!
176
00:07:06,826 --> 00:07:08,926
Yeah! Yeah.
177
00:07:08,994 --> 00:07:10,645
Isn't that your friend Deacon?
178
00:07:10,713 --> 00:07:13,164
Who? Which one?
179
00:07:13,232 --> 00:07:15,316
Right there, next to Kelly.
180
00:07:16,084 --> 00:07:17,268
I don't know what you're sayin'.
181
00:07:17,336 --> 00:07:19,737
I really don't.
182
00:07:19,805 --> 00:07:21,172
Um, here's the thing:
183
00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:22,874
Yeah, we, uh-
184
00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:25,009
we all decided to go
on vacation together.
185
00:07:25,077 --> 00:07:26,861
We know you don't have the
room for all four of us,
186
00:07:26,929 --> 00:07:28,597
so we're just gonna
stay at a hotel.
187
00:07:28,664 --> 00:07:30,164
No big whoop.
188
00:07:31,684 --> 00:07:32,850
Oh.
189
00:07:33,803 --> 00:07:35,753
You look so pretty.
190
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,794
Well, that was the
worst car ride ever.
191
00:07:42,862 --> 00:07:45,897
What? I don't think your
mother took it that bad.
192
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:48,000
She refused to put
on her seat belt.
193
00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:51,136
She said, "what's the point?"
194
00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:52,705
Ok, she was a little rattled,
195
00:07:52,772 --> 00:07:54,039
but she'll get over it, ok?
196
00:07:54,108 --> 00:07:56,559
Honey, come on. Please just
remember why we're doing this.
197
00:07:56,627 --> 00:07:58,794
I mean, look around.
198
00:07:58,862 --> 00:08:00,963
We are in a hotel room
199
00:08:01,031 --> 00:08:03,499
in Florida. Ok?
200
00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:04,800
I mean, look at this. Look.
201
00:08:04,868 --> 00:08:08,170
We got a TV that swivels...
202
00:08:08,238 --> 00:08:11,090
And some painting of some...
203
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:13,926
Mystical dolphins...
204
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:15,628
And when we get bored
lookin' at that,
205
00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:16,762
we can go downstairs
206
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:19,098
and have a little drink
at cap'n Toby's.
207
00:08:20,466 --> 00:08:21,767
Actually, I saw
that they let you
208
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,535
throw your peanut
shells on the ground.
209
00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:27,006
I've always wanted to try that.
210
00:08:27,073 --> 00:08:29,842
You see? Now you're
thinkin', honey!
211
00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:31,710
Ok. So what do you
wanna do first?
212
00:08:31,778 --> 00:08:33,078
Anything. Just name it.
213
00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:35,080
Anything? Anything.
214
00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:38,383
You'd watch a movie
starring the rock with me?
215
00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:40,736
I would love to.
216
00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:45,991
Hey! Hello. Hey.
217
00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:47,393
Nice hotel you picked.
218
00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:49,595
Uh, the air-conditioning
in our room?
219
00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:51,797
Not working.
220
00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:54,317
Oh, well, maybe you
should call downstairs-
221
00:08:54,384 --> 00:08:55,902
and get another room?
Yeah, already tried that.
222
00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:58,921
They're all booked.
223
00:08:58,989 --> 00:09:01,357
You know where you don't
need air-conditioning?
224
00:09:01,425 --> 00:09:03,058
Vermont.
225
00:09:12,185 --> 00:09:16,472
I'm sure sometimes you need
air-conditioning in Vermont.
226
00:09:16,540 --> 00:09:18,975
Yeah, I think you do. I think
he's just exaggerating.
227
00:09:19,042 --> 00:09:20,042
All right, honey, come on.
228
00:09:20,110 --> 00:09:21,877
You pick a little snack
from the mini-bar,
229
00:09:21,945 --> 00:09:24,246
and let's watch the rock
230
00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:27,332
be a neurosurgeon who
saves the president.
231
00:09:41,681 --> 00:09:44,917
Spring break 2004 is on!
232
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:47,753
All right, here's how
this works, people.
233
00:09:47,820 --> 00:09:49,521
I call your school,
you pound a beer
234
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:52,457
and scream like hell!
Are we ready?
235
00:09:54,944 --> 00:09:57,930
I can't hear you!
236
00:09:57,997 --> 00:10:00,066
That's crazy. How can
he not hear that?
237
00:10:01,885 --> 00:10:03,635
I'll just turn it
up a little bit.
238
00:10:03,703 --> 00:10:04,736
There you go.
239
00:10:04,804 --> 00:10:07,339
Michigan state!
240
00:10:09,876 --> 00:10:12,811
University of Maryland!
241
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:15,347
Ok, well,
242
00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:18,618
there's 9.95 I'll
never see again.
243
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:22,154
Yeah?
244
00:10:25,525 --> 00:10:29,561
You know where kids don't
go for spring break?
245
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,397
Vermont.
246
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,472
University of Texas!
247
00:10:44,744 --> 00:10:46,228
Honey, come on.
It's not that bad.
248
00:10:46,296 --> 00:10:49,298
Look at it this way. We have
our own disco in the room!
249
00:10:49,366 --> 00:10:51,100
Huh? Come on!
250
00:10:51,167 --> 00:10:52,601
Shake that thing, baby!
251
00:10:52,936 --> 00:10:53,569
I don't really- do
it for me, for me!
252
00:10:53,636 --> 00:10:54,820
You know I love it!
You know I love it!
253
00:10:54,887 --> 00:10:55,821
Come on, do it for me!
254
00:10:55,888 --> 00:10:56,822
Do it for me, do it for me!
255
00:10:56,889 --> 00:10:58,324
Come on, shake it!
Shake that thing!
256
00:10:58,391 --> 00:11:00,892
Shake that thing!
Shake that thing!
257
00:11:00,961 --> 00:11:02,394
Yeah! Yeah!
258
00:11:02,462 --> 00:11:03,795
I don't wanna, I don't wanna!
259
00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:05,030
I- you know, I wanna relax.
260
00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:06,581
You wanna relax? Ok,
how 'bout this?
261
00:11:06,649 --> 00:11:08,316
How 'bout this? We just
freshen up a little bit,
262
00:11:08,385 --> 00:11:11,253
we go downstairs, we tip
one back with cap'n Toby?
263
00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:13,088
Come on, let's freshen up.
Come on.
264
00:11:13,155 --> 00:11:14,256
All right.
265
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:22,030
What happened?
266
00:11:22,099 --> 00:11:25,234
There's a bat in there. What?!
267
00:11:25,302 --> 00:11:26,936
There is a bat in the bathroom!
268
00:11:27,003 --> 00:11:28,570
No!
269
00:11:28,638 --> 00:11:32,257
I'm sorry. Did you say no?
270
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:35,010
Doug, how can there be
a bat in the bathroom?
271
00:11:35,078 --> 00:11:36,962
It's probably just a
moth or something.
272
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:39,331
Ay-yi-yi.
273
00:11:40,833 --> 00:11:42,300
Ok, um,
274
00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:45,637
there's a bat in the bathroom...
275
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,539
And he's a big 'un.
276
00:11:47,607 --> 00:11:49,575
Let's not panic,
let's not panic.
277
00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:51,110
I will just call downstairs,
278
00:11:51,177 --> 00:11:54,279
and we will just get this
taken care of right away.
279
00:11:56,266 --> 00:11:58,467
Yeah, hi. Um...
280
00:11:58,534 --> 00:12:00,235
We have a bat in our bathroom.
281
00:12:02,272 --> 00:12:03,339
No, it-
282
00:12:03,406 --> 00:12:05,341
no, I'm sure you get a
lot of prank phone calls
283
00:12:05,408 --> 00:12:06,508
from the spring breakers,
284
00:12:06,576 --> 00:12:08,210
but I'm serious. We really-
285
00:12:10,413 --> 00:12:12,314
okey-doke.
286
00:12:12,382 --> 00:12:13,415
What did they say?
287
00:12:13,450 --> 00:12:15,200
He told me to have
another Heineken,
288
00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:16,985
and he hung up on me.
289
00:12:17,053 --> 00:12:19,638
This is ridiculous. I'm
going in there myself.
290
00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:23,742
What are you gonna do
with the hair spray?
291
00:12:23,809 --> 00:12:25,161
I'm gonna spray him, ok?
292
00:12:25,228 --> 00:12:26,645
Maybe it'll kill him.
293
00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:29,147
Maybe it'll just freeze
his wings out like that.
294
00:12:30,716 --> 00:12:31,383
Wait, wait, wait!
295
00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:33,502
Take these. Wear these
for protection.
296
00:12:37,824 --> 00:12:39,658
Now the bat's gonna
think I'm Elton John.
297
00:12:39,726 --> 00:12:42,127
Look, just wear them, please!
298
00:12:58,177 --> 00:12:59,462
Did you get him?
299
00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:01,213
I got him angry.
300
00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:05,100
Piedmont college! Ohh.
301
00:13:08,054 --> 00:13:09,588
Will somebody please
shake that thing
302
00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:12,508
and get it over with?!
303
00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:18,397
So how are things at your hotel?
304
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:22,734
There was a goat swimming
in the pool this morning.
305
00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:24,820
Doug's really enjoying that
mini-bar, aren't you, honey?
306
00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:27,155
What did you end up settling on?
M&ms?
307
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:28,424
What are you doing eatin'
from the mini-bar?
308
00:13:28,492 --> 00:13:30,175
You can buy m&ms at walgreen's
309
00:13:30,242 --> 00:13:32,210
for a third of the price!
310
00:13:32,278 --> 00:13:34,145
I think I have some chocolate
chips in the kitchen.
311
00:13:34,213 --> 00:13:36,214
I could put some in
a baggie for you.
312
00:13:36,282 --> 00:13:38,083
Oh, that's ok. Thank you.
313
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:39,618
All right.
314
00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:41,353
You know, Kelly, darling,
if you're tired,
315
00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:43,088
you could take a nap
in the guest room.
316
00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:45,390
Somebody might as well use it.
317
00:13:47,777 --> 00:13:49,378
Your parents have a guest room?
318
00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:51,463
What are you doing at the hotel?
Save yourselves.
319
00:13:51,531 --> 00:13:53,198
Hell, no, if we have to suffer,
320
00:13:53,265 --> 00:13:55,133
they have to suffer, too.
321
00:13:55,201 --> 00:13:57,986
Don't worry. We're
not staying here.
322
00:13:58,054 --> 00:13:58,954
All right, whatever. Deac, here.
323
00:13:59,021 --> 00:14:00,372
Help me clear.
324
00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:08,613
You know, maybe we should move
out of the hotel and stay here.
325
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:10,316
No! I don't want to.
326
00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:11,650
Well, I kind of do.
327
00:14:11,718 --> 00:14:13,085
Uh, Doug,
328
00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:16,222
let's remember why
we're doing this. Ok?
329
00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:18,023
We are setting a precedent
330
00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:20,559
to stay in a hotel.
331
00:14:20,626 --> 00:14:23,062
No one said it was
gonna be easy.
332
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:25,447
You did.
333
00:14:25,515 --> 00:14:27,917
You said as long as we got Deacon
and Kelly to come down with us,
334
00:14:27,984 --> 00:14:29,952
we'd be home free.
335
00:14:32,889 --> 00:14:34,923
What I just heard
336
00:14:34,991 --> 00:14:37,492
did not make me happy.
337
00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:41,112
Oh, 'cause you're taking it
completely out of context.
338
00:14:41,180 --> 00:14:42,914
You invited us down here just so
you wouldn't have to spend time
339
00:14:42,982 --> 00:14:44,749
with your in-laws?
340
00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:46,151
No. We invited you here
341
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:48,086
because we are a foursome.
342
00:14:48,154 --> 00:14:50,622
Yeah, see, that's funny,
'cause what I heard
343
00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:52,191
was that I'm not
skiing down a Mountain
344
00:14:52,258 --> 00:14:54,359
of freshly packed snow
with the wind in my face
345
00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:56,962
because you wanted
to set a precedent.
346
00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:59,114
And because we're a foursome!
347
00:14:59,181 --> 00:15:01,917
Why does nobody remember this?!
348
00:15:01,985 --> 00:15:04,703
Kids, should I make
something for lunch,
349
00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:06,671
or have you made other
arrangements for that, too?
350
00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:08,073
You-you know what, Mrs.
Heffernan?
351
00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:10,242
If that guest room
is still available,
352
00:15:10,309 --> 00:15:12,310
we'd love to use it tonight.
353
00:15:12,378 --> 00:15:14,379
That would be wonderful!
354
00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:17,249
You've made me very, very happy.
355
00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:30,262
Well...
356
00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:32,464
Brunch was nice.
357
00:15:36,986 --> 00:15:39,671
Now, you ready for
a little dessert?
358
00:15:42,425 --> 00:15:45,660
'Cause I'm gonna get
on you like hot fudge.
359
00:15:45,728 --> 00:15:46,811
What is wrong with you, ok?
360
00:15:46,879 --> 00:15:49,381
There's a bat in our bathroom!
361
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,716
And there's gonna be some
lovin' in the bedroom.
362
00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:53,786
Stop it, ok?!
363
00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:55,888
Have you noticed anything
that's gone on here?!
364
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,423
I mean, my mother hates us.
365
00:15:57,490 --> 00:15:59,157
Our best friends hate us.
366
00:15:59,225 --> 00:16:00,676
This trip has turned evil!
367
00:16:00,827 --> 00:16:02,895
Ok, and for what?
What's it all for?
368
00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:06,681
For the precedent? Ohh!
369
00:16:06,749 --> 00:16:08,233
Would you stop with
that precedent!
370
00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:12,520
I'm not even entirely
sure what it means.
371
00:16:12,588 --> 00:16:14,740
It means sweet freedom!
372
00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:15,707
Oh, my God, are you
really telling me
373
00:16:15,859 --> 00:16:19,228
you can't spend 3
days with my parents?
374
00:16:19,295 --> 00:16:21,479
Let me fill you in on something.
375
00:16:21,547 --> 00:16:22,748
I live every second of my life
376
00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:25,116
with an old man who gets cereal
377
00:16:25,184 --> 00:16:29,655
by digging his ape-like
hands right into the box!
378
00:16:29,722 --> 00:16:32,758
All right, you don't need to
bring my father into this, ok?
379
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:33,809
Oh, don't I?
380
00:16:33,876 --> 00:16:35,877
This is a man who
canceled our cable
381
00:16:35,945 --> 00:16:39,547
because they wouldn't pay him every
time they ran the movie Arthur!
382
00:16:44,370 --> 00:16:46,488
Come on, he's not that bad, Doug.
I mean-
383
00:16:46,555 --> 00:16:48,924
no, you know what? That's it.
384
00:16:48,991 --> 00:16:50,092
What-what are you doing?
385
00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:52,261
I'm packing. We're staying
at my parents' house
386
00:16:52,328 --> 00:16:53,262
like we should've
in the first place.
387
00:16:53,329 --> 00:16:54,979
No, Doug, we can't!
Deacon and Kelly
388
00:16:55,047 --> 00:16:57,249
are staying in their
guest bedroom anyway!
389
00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:59,034
That's all right. You know what?
We'll sleep on the floor,
390
00:16:59,102 --> 00:17:00,953
or we'll sleep in the
bed with my parents.
391
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,971
God, my mother would love that.
392
00:17:07,243 --> 00:17:08,259
So, you got your water,
393
00:17:08,411 --> 00:17:09,945
and here are some extra pillows,
394
00:17:10,013 --> 00:17:12,447
and I put some
tangerines in your room.
395
00:17:12,515 --> 00:17:14,249
Now, they told me at the market
that they were seedless,
396
00:17:14,317 --> 00:17:17,018
so if they're not, I
wanna know about it.
397
00:17:17,086 --> 00:17:18,570
Everything's great. Thank you.
398
00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:19,571
We'll see you in the morning.
399
00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:22,741
Good night. How are
you two doin'?
400
00:17:22,808 --> 00:17:24,876
Great. Good.
401
00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:27,595
I'm so happy you're here.
402
00:17:27,663 --> 00:17:29,631
I love you both.
403
00:17:35,905 --> 00:17:37,772
System armed.
404
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:41,410
Remember, don't open
any doors or windows.
405
00:17:41,478 --> 00:17:42,811
Okey-doke.
406
00:17:50,753 --> 00:17:53,706
It's still a little light out.
407
00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:56,391
It's bedtime.
408
00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:19,631
What are you doing?
I have to pee.
409
00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:21,483
Remember, don't flush.
410
00:18:21,550 --> 00:18:22,584
Oh, come on.
411
00:18:22,651 --> 00:18:25,203
Carrie, it's almost 9:15.
412
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:26,571
Just...
413
00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:28,473
Pee in the tub.
414
00:18:34,564 --> 00:18:38,534
I am not going to
pee in the tub, ok?
415
00:18:38,601 --> 00:18:39,618
I begged you to go after dinner!
416
00:18:39,686 --> 00:18:41,319
I didn't have to go then!
417
00:18:41,387 --> 00:18:42,554
Well, then, you know what,
you lost your chance!
418
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:44,189
Fine. I'll hold it.
419
00:18:45,607 --> 00:18:46,942
No, I can't hold it. I
gotta go, I gotta go.
420
00:18:47,009 --> 00:18:49,177
Whoa! Whoa, whoa. Wait a second!
421
00:18:49,245 --> 00:18:51,029
Look, the rec center
down the hall
422
00:18:51,096 --> 00:18:52,114
is open till 10:00, all right?
423
00:18:52,181 --> 00:18:54,149
They got a beautiful bathroom.
424
00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:56,718
What? Doug, we can't
open the door.
425
00:18:56,786 --> 00:18:58,687
The frickin' alarm is on!
426
00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:03,475
I may know the code.
427
00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:05,327
What?
428
00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:06,427
I heard my parents talking,
429
00:19:06,495 --> 00:19:08,897
and I'm pretty sure
it's my birthday.
430
00:19:08,965 --> 00:19:10,014
Well, what are you waiting for?
431
00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:11,666
Let's go! Open the door!
432
00:19:11,734 --> 00:19:13,668
But you go out, you do your
business, you come back.
433
00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:15,570
No one has to know. Fine!
434
00:19:15,638 --> 00:19:17,506
All right.
435
00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:19,408
My birthday's, uh,
436
00:19:19,475 --> 00:19:24,312
February 9, 1965.
437
00:19:24,380 --> 00:19:26,314
What are you doing? I'm
loosening up my fingers!
438
00:19:26,382 --> 00:19:27,516
All right, come on.
439
00:19:27,533 --> 00:19:29,284
Ok...
440
00:19:29,352 --> 00:19:31,836
That's, uh, 2...
441
00:19:31,904 --> 00:19:32,604
Wait a second. That is
my birthday, right?
442
00:19:32,756 --> 00:19:34,089
Doug, you don't
know your birthday?
443
00:19:34,157 --> 00:19:35,657
I blanked out. Excuse me!
444
00:19:35,725 --> 00:19:37,092
Ok, come on.
445
00:19:39,629 --> 00:19:43,532
2... 9... 6... 5...
446
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:45,934
Pound.
447
00:19:46,002 --> 00:19:48,036
System disarmed.
448
00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:50,388
Honey, I love you!
449
00:19:50,456 --> 00:19:51,990
I love you, too.
Pee like the wind.
450
00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:53,241
All right, all right.
451
00:19:53,309 --> 00:19:55,110
Intruder detected.
452
00:19:55,178 --> 00:19:57,279
Oh, my God! What's going on?!
I did it right!
453
00:19:57,346 --> 00:20:00,448
Is everybody ok?!
454
00:20:00,516 --> 00:20:01,666
What happened?!
455
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:02,801
I saw the alarm switch off!
456
00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:05,870
I hit the panic button!
There's somebody in here!
457
00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:07,422
Ma-
458
00:20:07,490 --> 00:20:08,590
there's nobody in
here, all right?
459
00:20:08,658 --> 00:20:10,024
I punched in the code.
460
00:20:10,092 --> 00:20:11,543
Why would you do that?!
461
00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:15,413
Oh, great. Now I gotta pay $25.
462
00:20:15,481 --> 00:20:16,331
Everyone all right in here?
463
00:20:16,399 --> 00:20:17,682
Should I call the real cops?
464
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:20,051
Loo-no.
465
00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:22,286
Everything's fine, ok?
It was an accident.
466
00:20:22,354 --> 00:20:23,639
Why would you fiddle
with the alarm?!
467
00:20:23,706 --> 00:20:26,107
You know it's very complicated!
468
00:20:26,175 --> 00:20:28,944
You know where they don't
fiddle with the alarm?
469
00:20:30,913 --> 00:20:31,863
All right, people,
it's after 9:00.
470
00:20:31,931 --> 00:20:33,599
Back to bed. Let's go.
471
00:20:37,436 --> 00:20:40,155
I just wanted to
stay in a hotel.
472
00:20:44,373 --> 00:20:46,424
I got the food.
473
00:20:47,764 --> 00:20:49,365
You know, with the A.C. Working,
474
00:20:49,433 --> 00:20:51,400
I'm not hatin' being back here.
475
00:20:53,136 --> 00:20:53,909
Kell?
476
00:21:04,614 --> 00:21:07,916
Ok, girls, time to get
those t-shirts wet!
477
00:21:24,301 --> 00:21:25,496
Kelly?
478
00:21:26,736 --> 00:21:30,005
Woman, put a damn towel
around yourself!
33801
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