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1
00:00:07,206 --> 00:00:09,642
Douglas, will you
please pass the catsup?
2
00:00:10,204 --> 00:00:11,143
The what?
3
00:00:11,257 --> 00:00:12,634
The catsup.
4
00:00:16,976 --> 00:00:19,210
You mean the ketchup?
5
00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:25,123
Educated people
pronounce it catsup.
6
00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:28,060
Not if they want me
to pass it to them.
7
00:00:28,144 --> 00:00:29,995
Fine. If that's the way
you're going to be,
8
00:00:30,063 --> 00:00:31,463
then I'll do without.
9
00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:34,766
Not gonna happen, old man.
10
00:00:34,834 --> 00:00:36,000
My burger's getting cold.
11
00:00:36,068 --> 00:00:37,269
Just give me the catsup!
12
00:00:37,337 --> 00:00:38,637
Ok, it's called ketchup.
13
00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:40,606
Say it right and you can have it.
No.
14
00:00:40,673 --> 00:00:42,574
Say it. Say it. No.
15
00:00:42,659 --> 00:00:43,608
I will never say it.
16
00:00:43,676 --> 00:00:46,778
I'd rather die than say it.
17
00:00:46,830 --> 00:00:49,098
Then she's staying over here.
18
00:00:49,165 --> 00:00:52,367
Me llamo ketchup.
19
00:00:52,368 --> 00:00:53,869
Fine.
20
00:00:53,936 --> 00:00:55,871
Then just say good-bye to these.
21
00:00:55,938 --> 00:00:57,472
Ahh!
22
00:00:57,591 --> 00:00:58,740
Why you gotta do that?
23
00:00:58,808 --> 00:01:00,476
You want the catsup, you
can have the catsup.
24
00:01:00,543 --> 00:01:02,143
Here. God.
25
00:01:04,547 --> 00:01:05,481
Thank you. That's enough.
26
00:01:05,548 --> 00:01:06,648
Ok, good.
27
00:01:06,716 --> 00:01:07,733
That's enough.
28
00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:09,935
That's enough. That's enough.
29
00:01:10,003 --> 00:01:11,269
That's enough!
30
00:01:11,337 --> 00:01:12,021
Oh, is that enough?
31
00:01:12,088 --> 00:01:13,404
Yes, that's enough.
That's enough.
32
00:01:13,472 --> 00:01:15,173
Than say it! Say-say it!
33
00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:16,775
What? Say what?!
34
00:01:16,843 --> 00:01:17,910
What's it called?!
35
00:01:17,978 --> 00:01:20,245
Ketchup!
36
00:01:24,016 --> 00:01:27,085
And that's how we learn.
37
00:02:02,806 --> 00:02:04,439
All right, what's next?
38
00:02:04,524 --> 00:02:08,911
"Put bracket c facing
left front quarter.
39
00:02:08,979 --> 00:02:12,514
Turn to align with
rear bracing leg."
40
00:02:15,619 --> 00:02:17,352
What?
41
00:02:17,454 --> 00:02:18,603
I think it means the seat
42
00:02:18,671 --> 00:02:21,223
is supposed to connect
to bracket c.
43
00:02:21,291 --> 00:02:23,042
There's already a
wheel in bracket c.
44
00:02:23,109 --> 00:02:24,342
It's supposed to be the seat.
45
00:02:24,410 --> 00:02:25,477
Yeah, well, that
ship has sailed.
46
00:02:25,545 --> 00:02:28,080
Come on, give me something
to put in slot h.
47
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:31,449
I- I'd put the seat there.
48
00:02:32,869 --> 00:02:36,705
Put this right here,
right like that.
49
00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:42,210
Yeah, see? All done.
50
00:02:42,279 --> 00:02:44,329
All right. That's right.
51
00:02:44,398 --> 00:02:45,514
All right, by the way,
major's not gonna be getting
52
00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:47,182
the greatest birthday
present from us either.
53
00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:49,752
We're a little short
on the dough-re-mi.
54
00:02:49,819 --> 00:02:50,669
Oh, yeah.
55
00:02:50,820 --> 00:02:53,054
How's Carrie's job hunt going?
56
00:02:53,122 --> 00:02:54,189
She's getting a
little desperate.
57
00:02:54,256 --> 00:02:55,740
Next time you call
a phone sex line,
58
00:02:55,808 --> 00:02:57,443
be nice just in case.
59
00:02:59,446 --> 00:03:01,446
Coming.
60
00:03:03,783 --> 00:03:04,850
Hi, dad.
61
00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:05,935
Hey, guys. You have a good time?
62
00:03:06,002 --> 00:03:08,554
We made Jesse's hamster fly.
63
00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:10,055
Really? Well, he flew briefly.
64
00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:12,758
Let's just say he'll be off
the wheel for a while.
65
00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:15,210
You want to see my room?
66
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:18,130
Hey, Sean. This is my
friend Doug Heffernan.
67
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,564
Doug Heffernan?
68
00:03:19,632 --> 00:03:21,066
Did you go to Saint Gregory's?
69
00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:22,251
Yeah.
70
00:03:22,318 --> 00:03:23,986
It's me. Sean McGee.
71
00:03:24,054 --> 00:03:25,837
Oh, hey, man. Hi!
72
00:03:25,905 --> 00:03:28,256
Hi! Hi! How's it going?
73
00:03:28,325 --> 00:03:29,257
Good.
74
00:03:29,326 --> 00:03:32,828
Ah, all white guys
do know each other.
75
00:03:32,895 --> 00:03:35,464
Small world. What
have you been up to?
76
00:03:35,532 --> 00:03:37,783
Just working with
Deacon down at I.P.S.
77
00:03:37,850 --> 00:03:39,835
That's great. I'm a d.A.
Over in queens county.
78
00:03:39,903 --> 00:03:41,670
You know, putting
away the bad guys.
79
00:03:41,738 --> 00:03:43,321
Hey, dead man walking, right?
80
00:03:43,389 --> 00:03:45,023
Ha ha ha!
81
00:03:45,091 --> 00:03:47,358
Listen, I gotta go. Hey, Jess!
82
00:03:47,426 --> 00:03:49,228
Great to see you.
83
00:03:49,296 --> 00:03:50,229
Are you gonna be
at major's party?
84
00:03:50,297 --> 00:03:51,463
Yup. I'll see you over there.
85
00:03:51,531 --> 00:03:52,932
Take care, Deac. Take care, man.
86
00:03:52,999 --> 00:03:54,633
Hey, you take care, Doug.
87
00:03:54,700 --> 00:03:56,535
I'll see you later. Be good.
88
00:03:56,603 --> 00:03:58,720
Ha ha ha ha.
89
00:03:58,788 --> 00:04:01,874
I hate that son of a bitch.
90
00:04:01,941 --> 00:04:03,542
What?!
91
00:04:03,609 --> 00:04:05,243
It was seventh grade.
92
00:04:05,311 --> 00:04:06,561
I was in the cafeteria, and
I accidentally threw out
93
00:04:06,629 --> 00:04:08,630
my six million dollar
man thermos top.
94
00:04:08,698 --> 00:04:10,799
So I'm going through the
garbage looking for it,
95
00:04:10,867 --> 00:04:13,451
and Sean McGee told
everybody that I...
96
00:04:13,519 --> 00:04:16,354
Licked the trash can.
97
00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:22,328
Did you lick it?
98
00:04:22,379 --> 00:04:24,562
No! Why would I
lick a trash can?
99
00:04:24,631 --> 00:04:25,313
I don't know. The same reason
100
00:04:25,465 --> 00:04:27,766
you lick the top
of the pizza box.
101
00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:29,100
That's completely
different, all right?
102
00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:30,569
That's not trash yet.
103
00:04:30,670 --> 00:04:32,588
Anyway, he spread this
around the whole school,
104
00:04:32,655 --> 00:04:33,923
and for the entire year,
105
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:37,659
everybody called me
Doug heffer-can.
106
00:04:37,677 --> 00:04:39,578
All right, look, I'm gonna
see Sean on Wednesday night.
107
00:04:39,645 --> 00:04:41,913
I'll be sure to stay away
from any trash cans.
108
00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:43,582
Wait a second.
109
00:04:43,649 --> 00:04:45,184
I just told you this
guy is my enemy,
110
00:04:45,251 --> 00:04:47,219
and you're gonna
hang out with him?
111
00:04:47,353 --> 00:04:48,303
I'm not in love with the guy.
112
00:04:48,370 --> 00:04:49,404
We're just playing racquetball.
113
00:04:49,472 --> 00:04:51,073
Nobody else plays. What
am I supposed to do?
114
00:04:51,107 --> 00:04:53,308
Don't play with Sean McGee.
Play with me!
115
00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:54,526
You don't play.
116
00:04:54,594 --> 00:04:58,147
Don't play? What,
are you on pot?
117
00:04:58,214 --> 00:05:00,215
I love racquetball.
118
00:05:00,283 --> 00:05:02,100
Yeah? What color are the balls?
119
00:05:02,168 --> 00:05:03,585
They vary.
120
00:05:05,437 --> 00:05:06,187
Look, give me a
chance, all right?
121
00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:07,439
If I don't give you a good game,
122
00:05:07,506 --> 00:05:10,675
you can go play with
your friend Sean mcgay.
123
00:05:12,094 --> 00:05:15,780
Damn, I wish I'd thought
of that in junior high.
124
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:26,491
Yeah.
125
00:05:26,559 --> 00:05:27,643
Yeah, I feel it.
126
00:05:27,710 --> 00:05:29,344
Ok, next time you have
to stretch like that,
127
00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:32,280
I'm gonna have to ask you
to wear longer shorts.
128
00:05:32,348 --> 00:05:34,432
Yeah? And I'm gonna have
to ask you to stand back
129
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:36,034
because it's punish time.
130
00:05:36,102 --> 00:05:37,135
You're about to be acquainted
131
00:05:37,203 --> 00:05:41,589
with my good friends
Hugh and Millie yayshin.
132
00:05:44,476 --> 00:05:46,712
Wassup?
133
00:05:50,566 --> 00:05:51,499
Ohh!
134
00:06:03,579 --> 00:06:04,763
Uhh!
135
00:06:06,282 --> 00:06:07,366
Uhh!
136
00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:19,912
All right, I admit it, man.
137
00:06:19,979 --> 00:06:21,713
You got game. Really?
138
00:06:21,781 --> 00:06:24,098
I think someone
owes me an apology.
139
00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:26,551
Oh, God.
140
00:06:26,619 --> 00:06:28,453
Damn!
141
00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:30,572
All right, my serve.
142
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,741
I think we're done here.
143
00:06:32,808 --> 00:06:35,677
Come on, that's fine. Throw
a little sawdust on it.
144
00:06:35,745 --> 00:06:36,945
Where you going?
145
00:06:37,047 --> 00:06:39,214
You're gonna call your
boyfriend, aren't you?
146
00:06:39,281 --> 00:06:40,498
At least he can play 4
points without showing me
147
00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:42,100
what he had at the snack bar.
148
00:06:42,168 --> 00:06:44,052
Fine! I don't need you!
149
00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:46,621
But know this.
- If you're friends with my enemy,
150
00:06:46,689 --> 00:06:49,157
then you're my enemy!
151
00:06:49,225 --> 00:06:51,860
Oh, God.
152
00:06:54,897 --> 00:06:58,567
So, uh, with Deacon gone,
how's this gonna work?
153
00:06:58,634 --> 00:07:01,253
Does everybody just move
up a slot, friend-wise?
154
00:07:02,721 --> 00:07:03,688
No.
155
00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:06,325
Well, I just mean, you know,
156
00:07:06,392 --> 00:07:07,792
there was stuff you
used to do with Deacon,
157
00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:10,228
so I guess you'll be doing
it with one of us now.
158
00:07:10,296 --> 00:07:12,948
No.
159
00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:14,599
All right, that's cool.
160
00:07:14,667 --> 00:07:17,635
Status quo.
161
00:07:17,703 --> 00:07:19,805
God, I really miss Deac.
162
00:07:19,872 --> 00:07:22,007
I mean, the way he
got such a kick
163
00:07:22,074 --> 00:07:24,742
out of these bud
light commercials.
164
00:07:24,811 --> 00:07:26,511
There's a certain kind of magic
165
00:07:26,578 --> 00:07:30,081
when a gentle giant laughs.
166
00:07:36,672 --> 00:07:37,706
Hey.
167
00:07:37,774 --> 00:07:38,974
Oh.
168
00:07:39,042 --> 00:07:40,208
What are you doing here?
169
00:07:40,276 --> 00:07:41,709
Just came to get
my camcorder back.
170
00:07:41,777 --> 00:07:43,878
I need it for my kid's
party tomorrow.
171
00:07:43,913 --> 00:07:45,814
Help yourself. It's
in the garage.
172
00:07:45,865 --> 00:07:47,265
The garage? Huh.
173
00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:49,351
Thanks for taking
such good care of it.
174
00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:52,637
Hey, Deac.
175
00:07:52,672 --> 00:07:54,806
What's up?
176
00:07:54,924 --> 00:07:57,025
Ok, put your eyes
back in your head.
177
00:07:58,478 --> 00:07:59,811
Hello.
178
00:07:59,879 --> 00:08:01,246
Hi.
179
00:08:01,297 --> 00:08:01,946
Got a registered letter.
180
00:08:02,098 --> 00:08:03,765
Gonna need you to sign for it.
181
00:08:05,968 --> 00:08:07,202
Hey, why don't you
come in for a second?
182
00:08:07,270 --> 00:08:08,303
You know, I never sign anything
183
00:08:08,370 --> 00:08:10,038
without checking over
the fine print anyway.
184
00:08:10,106 --> 00:08:12,141
'Cause the next thing you know,
I'm somebody's Butler for life.
185
00:08:12,208 --> 00:08:13,842
You know what I'm saying?
186
00:08:13,909 --> 00:08:15,393
Not at all, no.
187
00:08:15,461 --> 00:08:16,929
It's just a standard letter.
188
00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:17,679
It's all right. Come on in.
189
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:19,681
Come on, we'll check it out.
190
00:08:19,748 --> 00:08:21,299
Just take a seat right here.
Danny, get up.
191
00:08:21,367 --> 00:08:23,602
Ok, but I only got a minute.
192
00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:24,903
Well, that's ok.
193
00:08:24,970 --> 00:08:27,472
"Doug Heffernan."
194
00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:29,408
So far, so good.
195
00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:31,276
Listen, I really got
to hit the road here.
196
00:08:31,343 --> 00:08:33,878
Hit the road, man? You kill me, bro!
Ha ha ha!
197
00:08:33,946 --> 00:08:35,747
Oh, this is so awkward.
198
00:08:39,952 --> 00:08:41,619
What is?
199
00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:42,955
You just walking in
when I'm hanging out
200
00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:48,794
with my new friend...
Melvin... uspo.
201
00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:51,496
As in United States post office?
202
00:08:52,482 --> 00:08:53,982
That's right, come
sleet or snow,
203
00:08:54,049 --> 00:08:56,618
he's my buddy. Wassup?
204
00:08:59,321 --> 00:09:01,056
So you're trying to replace
me with another black guy.
205
00:09:01,123 --> 00:09:02,724
That's-that's classy.
206
00:09:02,791 --> 00:09:05,127
Hey, I don't care if my best friend's
black, white, or purple, ok?
207
00:09:05,195 --> 00:09:07,762
As long as he's got my back.
Ain't that right, Melvin?
208
00:09:07,831 --> 00:09:09,031
Actually, I gotta hit the road.
209
00:09:09,098 --> 00:09:10,899
Listen, sign that slip whenever.
210
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:12,000
I'll pick it up tomorrow.
211
00:09:12,068 --> 00:09:13,568
It is a date, amigo.
212
00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:14,402
Yeah!
213
00:09:14,470 --> 00:09:15,753
Hey, Knicks fan.
214
00:09:15,821 --> 00:09:17,356
Marbury's doing a nice
job for 'em, huh?
215
00:09:17,423 --> 00:09:19,057
Yeah, I tell you,
though, I miss spree.
216
00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:20,325
I heard that.
217
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,460
I'm actually heading
over to Cooper's
218
00:09:21,527 --> 00:09:22,527
to catch the second half.
219
00:09:22,595 --> 00:09:23,528
Oh, yeah? Yeah.
220
00:09:23,596 --> 00:09:24,929
Oh, maybe I'll stop
by after my route.
221
00:09:27,533 --> 00:09:28,667
What are you doing?
222
00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:30,435
Trying to jazz up my resume,
223
00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:32,270
see if I can get a law
firm to notice me.
224
00:09:32,338 --> 00:09:33,605
How's this sound?
225
00:09:33,673 --> 00:09:37,325
"Cleavage available
upon request."
226
00:09:38,744 --> 00:09:40,011
It sounds good. Give it a try.
227
00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:41,446
What's the matter with you?
228
00:09:41,513 --> 00:09:43,714
Friggin' Deacon.
229
00:09:43,782 --> 00:09:45,033
He's hanging out
with my arch-enemy.
230
00:09:45,101 --> 00:09:46,602
Their kids go to
school together.
231
00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:49,371
You have an arch-enemy?
232
00:09:49,439 --> 00:09:50,822
Yeah, Sean McGee.
233
00:09:50,890 --> 00:09:52,223
In seventh grade,
he told everyone
234
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:55,560
I licked a trash can.
235
00:09:55,628 --> 00:09:57,462
Did you?
236
00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:59,231
No.
237
00:09:59,298 --> 00:10:00,898
Why would I lick a trash can?
238
00:10:00,966 --> 00:10:02,050
I don't know. Didn't
you once tell me
239
00:10:02,118 --> 00:10:05,253
you ate that feed they
have at petting zoos?
240
00:10:06,755 --> 00:10:09,224
My sister told me if I did,
I could grow a mustache.
241
00:10:15,097 --> 00:10:16,764
It's not the point, ok?
242
00:10:16,832 --> 00:10:18,633
I didn't lick a trash can.
243
00:10:18,700 --> 00:10:19,918
Well, you know what?
You better get over it
244
00:10:19,986 --> 00:10:21,687
before major's birthday
party tomorrow
245
00:10:21,754 --> 00:10:23,922
because I don't want to
have any awkward scenes.
246
00:10:23,990 --> 00:10:24,789
There ain't gonna be
any awkward scenes
247
00:10:24,941 --> 00:10:26,074
'cause I ain't
going to any party
248
00:10:26,142 --> 00:10:27,608
that Sean McGee's gonna be at.
249
00:10:27,676 --> 00:10:28,777
Doug, come on.
250
00:10:28,844 --> 00:10:31,947
This is over a quarter
of a century ago!
251
00:10:32,014 --> 00:10:34,182
Are you kidding me? Am
I hearing this right?
252
00:10:34,249 --> 00:10:35,984
You're telling me I
can't have one enemy?
253
00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:38,219
Let's go over your
enemy list, huh?
254
00:10:38,287 --> 00:10:39,837
What are you talking about?
255
00:10:39,905 --> 00:10:41,389
Lorenzo's pizzeria. I
can't go there anymore
256
00:10:41,457 --> 00:10:42,557
because you had a
fight with the guy
257
00:10:42,625 --> 00:10:44,325
because he put too much
cheese on our pizza.
258
00:10:44,393 --> 00:10:45,660
Too much cheese.
259
00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:48,313
Insanity!
260
00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:51,833
Or how about San remo
dry cleaners, huh,
261
00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:54,736
where that little Chinese
girl sassed you?
262
00:10:54,804 --> 00:10:56,355
Yeah, I may not have
understood her,
263
00:10:56,422 --> 00:10:58,991
but she was all attitude.
264
00:10:59,058 --> 00:11:00,442
The point is, I support you
265
00:11:00,509 --> 00:11:01,977
in everything you hate.
266
00:11:02,045 --> 00:11:04,046
You know, the
restaurants, the stores,
267
00:11:04,113 --> 00:11:06,048
magicians!
268
00:11:06,115 --> 00:11:07,582
If you hate it, I hate it.
269
00:11:07,650 --> 00:11:10,052
So why can't you back me
up on this one thing?
270
00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:13,554
All right, you know, you.
- you're right.
271
00:11:13,589 --> 00:11:15,389
If Sean McGee is your enemy,
272
00:11:15,457 --> 00:11:17,726
then he is my enemy, too.
273
00:11:17,793 --> 00:11:18,426
Thank you.
274
00:11:18,494 --> 00:11:20,612
So we're not going
to major's party?
275
00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:21,947
We're not going
to major's party.
276
00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:23,414
Ok, I guess I'll go over there
277
00:11:23,482 --> 00:11:25,733
and drop off major's
gift tonight.
278
00:11:25,801 --> 00:11:28,053
Wait a second. Is it
something I might want?
279
00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:30,739
Doug, it's a pair
of feety pajamas.
280
00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:36,128
Does it have a back-flap?
281
00:11:40,984 --> 00:11:43,138
All right, well, thanks for the game.
Take care, man.
282
00:11:43,219 --> 00:11:44,853
Oh, sorry. Excuse me.
283
00:11:44,921 --> 00:11:46,388
I'm sorry. Let me get that.
284
00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:47,756
Thank you.
285
00:11:47,824 --> 00:11:49,091
"From Doug and Carrie."
286
00:11:49,159 --> 00:11:51,327
Are you married to
Doug Heffernan?
287
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:52,344
Yeah.
288
00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:53,295
I'm Sean McGee.
289
00:11:53,363 --> 00:11:54,530
I went to school
with your husband.
290
00:11:54,581 --> 00:11:58,200
Oh... yes.
291
00:11:59,419 --> 00:12:01,536
Sean McGee. I know
all about you.
292
00:12:01,671 --> 00:12:02,320
What does that mean?
293
00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:03,905
I think you know what it means.
294
00:12:03,974 --> 00:12:06,541
Let me tell you something, Sean.
295
00:12:06,609 --> 00:12:08,510
You mess with Doug,
you mess with me.
296
00:12:08,578 --> 00:12:10,112
Ok, you don't want
to mess with me
297
00:12:10,180 --> 00:12:12,914
because I will
take you down, ok?
298
00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:17,319
This is about the trash can
thing, isn't it? Yeah.
299
00:12:17,386 --> 00:12:18,854
Deacon told me he was
still upset about it.
300
00:12:18,922 --> 00:12:20,588
I just feel terrible about that.
301
00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:21,690
As well you should.
302
00:12:21,775 --> 00:12:22,558
When I saw him lick that thing,
303
00:12:22,626 --> 00:12:24,927
I really should have
just kept it to myself.
304
00:12:25,028 --> 00:12:28,747
Wait a minute. So he
really did lick it?
305
00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:31,416
Oh, yeah. A couple of times.
306
00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:34,436
I should have just kept
my mouth shut, though.
307
00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:35,770
Just tell him I'm
sorry, would you?
308
00:12:35,839 --> 00:12:37,005
I gotta get out of here.
309
00:12:37,073 --> 00:12:39,124
I got 4 big cases
I'm prosecuting,
310
00:12:39,191 --> 00:12:40,826
and my secretary just quit.
311
00:12:40,877 --> 00:12:42,727
Oh, you're a lawyer? Yeah.
312
00:12:42,795 --> 00:12:44,179
And your secretary just quit?
313
00:12:44,247 --> 00:12:45,447
Yeah, a couple days ago.
314
00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:46,548
I don't know how I'm
gonna replace her.
315
00:12:46,616 --> 00:12:48,583
Oh, 'cause I used to
be a legal secretary.
316
00:12:48,651 --> 00:12:53,005
Yeah, I was at Kaplan,
Hornstein & Steckler.
317
00:12:53,072 --> 00:12:54,907
Oh, it's a good firm.
I've heard of them.
318
00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:56,208
Well, I would ask you to come in
319
00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:57,576
and, you know, do an interview,
320
00:12:57,644 --> 00:12:59,444
but we have a policy
against hiring people
321
00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:01,413
who want to "take me down."
322
00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:02,181
That's funny.
323
00:13:02,248 --> 00:13:03,665
Hang on.
324
00:13:03,733 --> 00:13:05,401
Sean, I'll walk with you, babe.
325
00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:09,888
I can't believe this.
326
00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:11,056
He is my enemy.
327
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,824
I couldn't have been
more clear about that!
328
00:13:12,892 --> 00:13:14,542
Yes, and isn't that
what they say?
329
00:13:14,610 --> 00:13:18,546
"Keep your friends close,
but your enemies closer"?
330
00:13:18,614 --> 00:13:23,602
This way I can keep
tabs on him 24/7.
331
00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:26,038
I can take him down
from the inside!
332
00:13:26,106 --> 00:13:27,706
You know what, this
is not happening.
333
00:13:27,774 --> 00:13:29,074
There's no way.
334
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,476
Doug, I can't believe you're
not gonna let me take a job
335
00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:35,413
because you licked a trash
can when you were 12.
336
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:37,542
Whoa.
337
00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:40,518
Are you telling me you think
I licked that trash can?
338
00:13:40,586 --> 00:13:42,704
Look, all I know is Sean
is pretty convinced
339
00:13:42,772 --> 00:13:44,172
in what he saw.
340
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,024
And you believe him over me?
341
00:13:46,091 --> 00:13:46,825
Look, I don't know,
maybe there was
342
00:13:46,893 --> 00:13:48,310
something good on the trash can!
343
00:13:48,378 --> 00:13:52,081
You know, some leftover sloppy
Joe, some chocolate sauce.
344
00:13:52,148 --> 00:13:53,382
Who can blame ya?
345
00:13:53,450 --> 00:13:56,334
I never licked it, ok?
For the last time,
346
00:13:56,402 --> 00:13:58,637
my head was in that trash can
because I was looking for
347
00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:01,206
my six million dollar
man thermos top!
348
00:14:01,273 --> 00:14:03,391
Look, you licked it,
you didn't lick it,
349
00:14:03,459 --> 00:14:05,026
what's the difference?
350
00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:06,095
There's a big difference!
351
00:14:06,245 --> 00:14:09,848
One way, I licked a trash can!
352
00:14:09,916 --> 00:14:11,049
The other way, I didn't!
353
00:14:11,116 --> 00:14:13,084
And I didn't.
354
00:14:13,152 --> 00:14:16,354
Ok, and Sean feels
really bad about this.
355
00:14:16,422 --> 00:14:17,756
Please, just come to the party
356
00:14:17,824 --> 00:14:20,525
and let Sean make it up to you.
357
00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:23,528
I will not step
foot at any party
358
00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:26,899
or anywhere else
that man will be.
359
00:14:26,966 --> 00:14:28,734
He is my enemy,
360
00:14:28,802 --> 00:14:31,436
and now you are my enemy.
361
00:14:32,906 --> 00:14:34,790
Ok, you know what, you
are being ridiculous.
362
00:14:34,857 --> 00:14:37,426
I am gonna go live in
a world with adults.
363
00:14:37,493 --> 00:14:39,093
You can stay in
the seventh grade
364
00:14:39,161 --> 00:14:41,029
and lick your trash
cans by yourself.
365
00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:42,897
Traitor!
366
00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:45,100
Trash can licker!
367
00:14:47,370 --> 00:14:49,838
Ok, I'm off to major's party.
368
00:14:49,905 --> 00:14:51,807
You know, you can still come.
369
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:53,759
Hmm, thanks. Nah, I
think I'll stay home
370
00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:57,328
and enjoy my extra
cheesy Lorenzo's pizza.
371
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:02,000
Whoops. I got a little
cheese on my shirt.
372
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:03,268
That's no problem because I know
373
00:15:03,335 --> 00:15:06,171
a little sassy Chinese girl
who'll get that right out.
374
00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:16,782
Ooh, pizza pie. May I?
375
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:18,016
Yeah, you can have
the rest, actually.
376
00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:20,552
It's pretty bad.
377
00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:23,021
Well, I know what you're eating.
378
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:26,791
My question is,
what's eating you?
379
00:15:27,977 --> 00:15:30,912
Just Deacon and Carrie.
380
00:15:30,980 --> 00:15:33,081
What's the problem?
381
00:15:33,149 --> 00:15:35,083
In seventh grade,
I had this enemy,
382
00:15:35,151 --> 00:15:38,720
and, well, Carrie and
Deacon are siding
383
00:15:38,788 --> 00:15:40,255
with him over me.
384
00:15:40,322 --> 00:15:41,956
What's your beef
with this fellow?
385
00:15:41,975 --> 00:15:46,444
He told everyone I
licked a trash can.
386
00:15:46,512 --> 00:15:49,630
Did you?
387
00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:53,368
No, but he told everyone I did.
388
00:15:53,436 --> 00:15:56,304
Douglas, there's no shame
389
00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:58,673
in being a trash can licker.
390
00:16:01,510 --> 00:16:03,529
Never licked it.
391
00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:05,997
Well, I know from
whence you come.
392
00:16:06,065 --> 00:16:08,667
I, too, had a boyhood enemy.
393
00:16:08,734 --> 00:16:10,135
He got me kicked out of school
394
00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:15,407
when he claimed I stole his
moe berg baseball card.
395
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,092
Why did he say that?
396
00:16:17,159 --> 00:16:19,611
Well, because I had stolen it.
397
00:16:19,678 --> 00:16:22,847
I loved it, and I
wanted it for myself.
398
00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:26,735
Anyway, do you know
who this pale kid
399
00:16:26,803 --> 00:16:30,355
with the big mouth
turned out to be?
400
00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:34,125
TV journalist and
celebrity suckhound
401
00:16:34,193 --> 00:16:36,595
Larry King.
402
00:16:41,968 --> 00:16:43,684
Ok, great. Thanks for the talk.
403
00:16:43,752 --> 00:16:45,853
My point is when he
became a success
404
00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,572
I was mad at everyone but him.
405
00:16:47,639 --> 00:16:50,058
CNN, his sponsors,
406
00:16:50,126 --> 00:16:53,611
the suspender industry.
407
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:56,648
If I had just focused
on hating him,
408
00:16:56,715 --> 00:17:00,752
I would have saved myself
a lot of heartache.
409
00:17:00,819 --> 00:17:02,787
You know what? You're right.
410
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:05,023
Sean McGee's my problem here.
411
00:17:05,091 --> 00:17:06,224
I'm going to major's party.
412
00:17:06,292 --> 00:17:07,359
I'm gonna take care
of this right now.
413
00:17:07,426 --> 00:17:08,693
Whoa, whoa. Hold the phone.
414
00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:10,461
Major's having a party?
415
00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:11,230
Yeah.
416
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:13,282
And I wasn't invited?
417
00:17:13,349 --> 00:17:18,370
That fickle little bastard
just crossed the wrong guy.
418
00:17:27,363 --> 00:17:28,563
What are you doing here?
419
00:17:28,631 --> 00:17:30,999
I came down to take care
of a little business.
420
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:32,200
Uh-huh.
421
00:17:32,268 --> 00:17:33,335
Am I gonna have to kick your ass
422
00:17:33,402 --> 00:17:34,836
at my kid's birthday party?
423
00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:37,339
No, no, we're cool.
424
00:17:37,407 --> 00:17:39,958
I just need to have a
little chat with...
425
00:17:40,176 --> 00:17:42,394
Sean McGee.
426
00:17:43,529 --> 00:17:45,330
Hey, Sean!
427
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,564
Would you come on
down for a second?
428
00:17:46,632 --> 00:17:47,732
I need to talk to you.
429
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:48,600
Could we do it later?
430
00:17:48,667 --> 00:17:50,018
I'm trying to play
with my kid here.
431
00:17:50,085 --> 00:17:51,152
No, not later.
432
00:17:51,220 --> 00:17:52,354
Now.
433
00:17:52,421 --> 00:17:54,255
Just give me 5 minutes.
434
00:18:17,947 --> 00:18:19,714
Hey.
435
00:18:21,050 --> 00:18:23,051
Hey, you're not supposed to
be wearing shoes up here.
436
00:18:23,118 --> 00:18:25,253
Whatever. Look, I know.
437
00:18:25,321 --> 00:18:27,189
Carrie's gonna be working
for you, and that's great.
438
00:18:27,256 --> 00:18:31,059
It's just I think we need to
clear the air between us first.
439
00:18:31,126 --> 00:18:33,478
Doug, about all that, I
know it's no excuse,
440
00:18:33,545 --> 00:18:35,313
but I was a stupid
kid, all right?
441
00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:38,349
I'm sorry I told everybody
you licked a trash can.
442
00:18:38,417 --> 00:18:40,051
Really?
443
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,169
Yeah, I feel terrible
444
00:18:41,236 --> 00:18:43,137
you've been carrying that
around all these years.
445
00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:46,140
You know, I just hope
you accept my apology.
446
00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:49,060
Well, yeah, I do.
447
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,795
Thanks for saying something.
448
00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:52,063
No problem.
449
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:53,465
See you around the piñata.
450
00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:54,466
Ok.
451
00:18:57,636 --> 00:18:59,037
Wait.
452
00:19:00,789 --> 00:19:03,458
I just want to clear
something up here.
453
00:19:03,525 --> 00:19:04,709
What, Doug?
454
00:19:04,776 --> 00:19:06,311
You said you were sorry
you told everyone
455
00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:09,114
that I licked the trash can.
456
00:19:09,181 --> 00:19:11,199
But you never apologized
for making up the fact
457
00:19:11,266 --> 00:19:12,400
that I licked it.
458
00:19:12,468 --> 00:19:15,537
But you did. No, I didn't.
459
00:19:15,604 --> 00:19:17,872
Doug, I saw you
lick the trash can.
460
00:19:17,940 --> 00:19:20,007
Ok, for the last time,
I was looking for
461
00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:22,377
my six million dollar
man thermos top.
462
00:19:22,445 --> 00:19:25,379
Can I just play with my kid?
463
00:19:25,447 --> 00:19:26,380
Excuse me.
464
00:19:26,448 --> 00:19:28,116
It's ok. I work here.
465
00:19:29,384 --> 00:19:30,418
Look, you can play with your kid
466
00:19:30,486 --> 00:19:31,336
as soon as you admit to me
467
00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:32,821
that I didn't lick it.
468
00:19:32,888 --> 00:19:34,939
Ok, you didn't lick
the trash can.
469
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:37,609
Ok, I'm sorry I made that up.
470
00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:41,396
Ok, you just said "made it
up" as if it were in quotes.
471
00:19:41,464 --> 00:19:42,513
Doug, this is ridiculous, ok?
472
00:19:42,581 --> 00:19:43,949
Can we please forget it?
473
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:45,317
Are you hungry?
474
00:19:45,384 --> 00:19:46,451
Because I think I
saw some pudding
475
00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:47,485
in the garbage over there
476
00:19:47,553 --> 00:19:48,954
and it had your name
written all over it,
477
00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:50,688
heffer-can.
478
00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:53,158
Aah!
479
00:19:59,065 --> 00:20:02,651
Aah! Uhh!
480
00:20:02,718 --> 00:20:04,552
Admit it! Admit it!
481
00:20:04,654 --> 00:20:06,354
Admit I didn't lick it!
482
00:20:06,421 --> 00:20:07,421
Heffer-can!
483
00:20:07,489 --> 00:20:08,890
Aah!
484
00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:10,125
Heffer-can!
485
00:20:10,192 --> 00:20:11,826
No! No!
486
00:20:11,894 --> 00:20:12,894
Trash sucker!
487
00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:16,131
No! No such thing
never happened!
488
00:20:18,868 --> 00:20:21,569
Hey, did you see Sean?
489
00:20:27,109 --> 00:20:28,409
Aah!
490
00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:37,219
Oh, my God.
491
00:20:37,286 --> 00:20:39,237
Aah!
492
00:20:42,474 --> 00:20:43,541
Hey.
493
00:20:43,609 --> 00:20:45,710
Aah!
494
00:20:47,430 --> 00:20:49,197
Crap.
495
00:21:04,046 --> 00:21:05,814
How could you?
496
00:21:05,882 --> 00:21:07,782
You know I would
have loved this.
34000
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