All language subtitles for The King of Queens (1998) - S06E11 - Santa Claustrophobia (1080p BluRay x265 RCVR)

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:35,885 --> 00:00:37,485 Well, that was an interesting walk. 2 00:00:37,552 --> 00:00:40,255 Yes. Uh, listen, I'd like to apologize 3 00:00:40,322 --> 00:00:41,790 for my skirmish with cupcake, 4 00:00:41,857 --> 00:00:44,025 but in my defense, 5 00:00:44,093 --> 00:00:46,477 I did see the tennis ball first. 6 00:00:48,447 --> 00:00:50,798 Well, hopefully you two can start fresh next time. 7 00:00:50,866 --> 00:00:52,733 Well, that's up to him. 8 00:00:52,801 --> 00:00:54,952 Oh, I have to push back our walk on Thursday. 9 00:00:55,020 --> 00:00:56,153 I'm going to sears to get a picture 10 00:00:56,221 --> 00:00:58,255 of me and the dogs for my Christmas card. 11 00:00:58,323 --> 00:01:00,441 Sears? I can do it right here. 12 00:01:00,509 --> 00:01:01,226 Well, I kind of like sears 13 00:01:01,377 --> 00:01:02,744 'cause they give you the little mini ones- 14 00:01:02,812 --> 00:01:05,162 come on. It'll be my holiday gift to you. 15 00:01:05,230 --> 00:01:06,514 Well, I already have an appointment. 16 00:01:06,582 --> 00:01:07,832 But it's my gift to you. 17 00:01:07,900 --> 00:01:08,767 And I appreciate that- 18 00:01:08,834 --> 00:01:10,051 it's my gift! Ok. Ok. 19 00:01:11,954 --> 00:01:13,370 Ohh! 20 00:01:13,439 --> 00:01:15,740 There's my man! 21 00:01:15,808 --> 00:01:17,041 Ooh! 22 00:01:17,108 --> 00:01:18,976 It's so good to have you home! 23 00:01:19,044 --> 00:01:20,828 All right. Settle down. 24 00:01:20,896 --> 00:01:22,346 Just me, not the sparkletts guy. 25 00:01:23,949 --> 00:01:25,366 I'm sorry. Just bouncing off the walls here. 26 00:01:25,434 --> 00:01:26,367 Really? 27 00:01:26,435 --> 00:01:27,468 Yeah, when you don't have a job, 28 00:01:27,536 --> 00:01:29,003 you get up, 29 00:01:29,071 --> 00:01:30,471 you throw on your sweats, 30 00:01:30,539 --> 00:01:31,906 you eat something, you sit on the couch, 31 00:01:31,974 --> 00:01:34,608 and before you know it, it's time for bed. 32 00:01:34,676 --> 00:01:37,495 That is word for word one of my top dreams. 33 00:01:39,481 --> 00:01:41,399 Come on, honey, entertain me, entertain me. 34 00:01:41,467 --> 00:01:42,933 All right, I'd like to start off 35 00:01:43,001 --> 00:01:46,471 with a piece called "having doritos." 36 00:01:46,538 --> 00:01:48,456 Seriously, honey, 37 00:01:48,524 --> 00:01:50,158 say one of those funny things you say. 38 00:01:50,225 --> 00:01:51,159 What do ya got? 39 00:01:53,429 --> 00:01:55,263 Uh... 40 00:01:55,331 --> 00:01:57,999 Arr, rahr, rahr! 41 00:01:58,067 --> 00:02:02,670 Rahr! 42 00:02:03,922 --> 00:02:07,007 Ok, I remember you being a lot more interesting. 43 00:02:07,075 --> 00:02:08,693 Look, just give me 2 minutes, all right? 44 00:02:08,761 --> 00:02:09,794 Why don't you read a magazine or something? 45 00:02:09,862 --> 00:02:12,262 I read every magazine in the house already. 46 00:02:12,330 --> 00:02:13,097 Well, here you go, 47 00:02:13,165 --> 00:02:14,615 read my company newsletter, 48 00:02:14,683 --> 00:02:17,135 I.P. Yes. Go to town. 49 00:02:18,770 --> 00:02:20,955 "Snap, crackle, and pop: 50 00:02:21,023 --> 00:02:24,458 I.P.S. Switches bubble wrap suppliers." 51 00:02:27,997 --> 00:02:29,613 I'm actually gonna read this. 52 00:02:30,632 --> 00:02:32,183 Kids, I think we should nail down a date 53 00:02:32,250 --> 00:02:34,185 for our Christmas card photo shoot. 54 00:02:34,252 --> 00:02:36,053 And as far as wardrobe goes, 55 00:02:36,121 --> 00:02:40,358 I'm thinkin' everyone in denim shirts and jeans. 56 00:02:40,426 --> 00:02:42,493 And I'm thinking no picture and you go downstairs 57 00:02:42,561 --> 00:02:44,762 and get last night's broccoli out of your teeth. 58 00:02:46,382 --> 00:02:47,815 Come on, darling, what do you say? 59 00:02:47,883 --> 00:02:50,969 Let's show a little father-daughter holiday spirit. 60 00:02:51,036 --> 00:02:52,270 Who knows how many christmases 61 00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:53,771 we have left together? 62 00:02:53,839 --> 00:02:55,173 Ohh. 63 00:02:55,241 --> 00:02:57,041 Maybe next year, daddy, ok? 64 00:02:57,109 --> 00:02:58,209 Fine. 65 00:02:58,277 --> 00:03:01,829 I wanna wish you both a merry Christmas in hell! 66 00:03:03,833 --> 00:03:05,716 Oh, my God, look at this. 67 00:03:05,784 --> 00:03:08,219 4 doritos got baked together. 68 00:03:14,459 --> 00:03:17,262 I don't know whether to eat it or donate it to science. 69 00:03:19,214 --> 00:03:22,733 Huh. 70 00:03:22,801 --> 00:03:23,734 What? 71 00:03:23,802 --> 00:03:25,970 Your depot is hiring payroll assistants 72 00:03:26,038 --> 00:03:28,907 to handle the extra holiday load. 73 00:03:28,974 --> 00:03:30,975 They need people who can type and do payroll. 74 00:03:31,043 --> 00:03:32,076 I've done both. 75 00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:35,480 I should apply for this, right? 76 00:03:35,547 --> 00:03:36,748 No, I don't know. 77 00:03:36,815 --> 00:03:38,415 It would be so great to get out of the house 78 00:03:38,483 --> 00:03:40,534 during the day and make a little money. 79 00:03:40,602 --> 00:03:42,387 You know? And I'd feel like I was part of the world again. 80 00:03:42,454 --> 00:03:44,589 I'm gonna go e-mail my résumé right now. 81 00:03:44,656 --> 00:03:46,407 Oh. If it's cool with you, 82 00:03:46,475 --> 00:03:48,643 because I would be invading on your turf, you know? 83 00:03:48,711 --> 00:03:49,844 What? Is that all right? 84 00:03:49,912 --> 00:03:50,862 Yeah? 85 00:03:52,514 --> 00:03:54,782 Yeah! 86 00:03:54,850 --> 00:03:56,984 Great! Thanks, baby! Oh, yeah! 87 00:03:58,804 --> 00:04:01,038 No! 88 00:04:06,045 --> 00:04:07,094 So she's standing on the curb, 89 00:04:07,162 --> 00:04:09,213 and I'm gettin' her packages out of the truck, 90 00:04:09,281 --> 00:04:11,081 when out of nowhere this car flies by, 91 00:04:11,149 --> 00:04:12,350 hits this huge puddle, 92 00:04:12,417 --> 00:04:13,484 and bam! 93 00:04:13,552 --> 00:04:15,419 We're in the middle of a wet t-shirt contest. 94 00:04:17,623 --> 00:04:19,240 Me against her. 95 00:04:19,308 --> 00:04:21,809 She's winning, but I'm holding my own. 96 00:04:22,678 --> 00:04:23,944 So, anyway, she's just standing there, 97 00:04:24,012 --> 00:04:26,197 and she's got some grade-a sweet potatoes. 98 00:04:26,265 --> 00:04:27,198 You know what I'm saying? 99 00:04:27,266 --> 00:04:29,233 So what she does is- guess who? 100 00:04:29,301 --> 00:04:31,936 Hey! 101 00:04:32,004 --> 00:04:33,004 Hi, honey. 102 00:04:33,071 --> 00:04:34,005 What are you guys talking about? 103 00:04:34,072 --> 00:04:35,673 I heard sweet potatoes. 104 00:04:35,740 --> 00:04:37,107 Uh, yeah. 105 00:04:37,175 --> 00:04:38,960 We were thinking about gettin' 'em 106 00:04:39,027 --> 00:04:41,128 for the vending machine. 107 00:04:42,614 --> 00:04:44,314 Actually, I was just, uh, 108 00:04:44,382 --> 00:04:47,918 telling a story about this female person 109 00:04:47,986 --> 00:04:49,787 on my route. Sorry. 110 00:04:49,855 --> 00:04:51,822 Oh, that's ok. I know what guys talk about. 111 00:04:51,890 --> 00:04:53,423 Keep goin' like I wasn't even here. 112 00:04:53,491 --> 00:04:54,759 Was she hot? 113 00:04:56,394 --> 00:04:59,063 That's ok. Oh, come on! 114 00:04:59,131 --> 00:05:00,264 All right, well, uh, 115 00:05:00,331 --> 00:05:02,733 this w-woman got splashed by a car 116 00:05:02,801 --> 00:05:05,569 and her-her shirt kind of got wet. 117 00:05:05,637 --> 00:05:09,273 That's where the previously mentioned sweet potatoes come in. 118 00:05:10,558 --> 00:05:11,792 So I was like, you know, 119 00:05:11,860 --> 00:05:14,495 "take your package. I'm not here for the show, lady. 120 00:05:14,562 --> 00:05:15,729 "I don't know what crap you're tryin' to pull, 121 00:05:15,797 --> 00:05:16,797 but I love my wife." 122 00:05:16,865 --> 00:05:18,366 You know what I'm sayin'? 123 00:05:18,433 --> 00:05:19,800 God. 124 00:05:21,370 --> 00:05:22,636 Good one, honey. 125 00:05:22,704 --> 00:05:24,304 All right, snack time. 126 00:05:24,372 --> 00:05:26,306 Honey, can I tell you how good it feels 127 00:05:26,374 --> 00:05:27,574 to be back at work? 128 00:05:27,642 --> 00:05:28,993 I already have a best friend upstairs 129 00:05:29,061 --> 00:05:31,829 and a girl we both hate. 130 00:05:31,897 --> 00:05:32,980 Good for you. Yeah. 131 00:05:33,047 --> 00:05:34,181 So, what are you gonna get? 132 00:05:34,249 --> 00:05:36,417 Eh, I'm not sure yet. 133 00:05:36,485 --> 00:05:37,151 Hey, how 'bout this? 134 00:05:37,218 --> 00:05:38,236 You pick the letter. 135 00:05:38,303 --> 00:05:39,303 I pick the number. 136 00:05:39,371 --> 00:05:40,738 Live dangerously. 137 00:05:40,805 --> 00:05:42,740 Mmm, I don't think so. 138 00:05:42,807 --> 00:05:45,642 I can't risk ending up with a comb for lunch. 139 00:05:47,062 --> 00:05:48,729 I think I'm goin' with fritos. 140 00:05:48,797 --> 00:05:50,397 Oh, don't get the fritos. Get the cheetos. 141 00:05:50,465 --> 00:05:51,598 I'm in the mood for those. 142 00:05:51,666 --> 00:05:53,367 Uh, well, you know, for 70 cents, 143 00:05:53,434 --> 00:05:55,870 you can get your very own bag. 144 00:05:55,937 --> 00:05:57,922 I know, but I only want a few. 145 00:05:57,990 --> 00:05:59,891 Come on, j-6, j-6, j-6, j-6, j-6, j-6- 146 00:05:59,958 --> 00:06:01,392 o- o-ok. 147 00:06:01,460 --> 00:06:02,844 J-6. Yeah! 148 00:06:10,151 --> 00:06:12,152 How's it goin', stud? 149 00:06:17,258 --> 00:06:18,759 Carrie? 150 00:06:18,827 --> 00:06:21,329 Hi, honey! 151 00:06:21,396 --> 00:06:24,031 What are you doin' on the c.B.? 152 00:06:24,098 --> 00:06:26,634 Wanda's teachin' me how. Right, Wanda? 153 00:06:26,702 --> 00:06:29,069 That's right, Doug. 154 00:06:30,255 --> 00:06:31,589 Well... 155 00:06:31,656 --> 00:06:34,192 We're all here, then. 156 00:06:34,259 --> 00:06:37,261 So, what's goin' on? 157 00:06:37,329 --> 00:06:38,362 Uh... 158 00:06:38,430 --> 00:06:40,832 Just doin' my route. 159 00:06:40,899 --> 00:06:42,366 Oh, you say "rowt"? I say "root." 160 00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:45,236 And yet we still make it work. 161 00:06:45,303 --> 00:06:46,938 Ok. Gotta wrap this up. 162 00:06:47,005 --> 00:06:48,722 Got a package thing to do. 163 00:06:48,790 --> 00:06:51,743 Ok. Bye, honey! 164 00:06:51,810 --> 00:06:52,944 Bye. Oh, wait! 165 00:06:53,011 --> 00:06:54,345 Say good-bye to Wanda. 166 00:06:56,715 --> 00:06:58,616 Bye, Wanda. 167 00:06:58,683 --> 00:07:00,702 Bye, Doug. 168 00:07:04,973 --> 00:07:08,008 Ok, I need hershey in a little tighter. 169 00:07:08,076 --> 00:07:09,327 Cupcake, 170 00:07:09,394 --> 00:07:10,627 quit the funny business. 171 00:07:10,695 --> 00:07:13,530 This is a family picture. 172 00:07:13,598 --> 00:07:15,066 And that's it. Now, hold it. 173 00:07:25,727 --> 00:07:27,662 Now, just wait for the flash. 174 00:07:27,729 --> 00:07:28,896 Arthur, 175 00:07:28,963 --> 00:07:29,713 I hadn't planned on you 176 00:07:29,865 --> 00:07:31,398 actually being in the photo. 177 00:07:31,466 --> 00:07:34,135 Why not? It's a picture of everyone you walk. 178 00:07:34,202 --> 00:07:36,637 Well. Yeah, but I'm sending these to my clients, 179 00:07:36,704 --> 00:07:37,938 and I'm not sure they would understand 180 00:07:38,006 --> 00:07:41,308 that I walk a human being. 181 00:07:41,376 --> 00:07:43,127 When they see your name on the list, 182 00:07:43,195 --> 00:07:45,997 I tell them you're a schnauzer. 183 00:07:46,064 --> 00:07:47,615 Just smile. 184 00:07:47,682 --> 00:07:48,615 Arthur, I don't think I really wanna do- 185 00:07:48,683 --> 00:07:50,184 do it or you're fired! 186 00:07:50,252 --> 00:07:51,885 Now smile. 187 00:07:53,422 --> 00:07:54,355 Only 80 more seconds. 188 00:07:54,423 --> 00:07:55,956 Ok. I'm going to sears. 189 00:07:56,024 --> 00:07:57,124 Fine, but if you're so worried 190 00:07:57,192 --> 00:07:58,592 about your picture being ruined, 191 00:07:58,660 --> 00:07:59,860 I'd worry about him! 192 00:07:59,928 --> 00:08:00,811 Buster? 193 00:08:00,962 --> 00:08:02,797 Something that ugly doesn't deserve a name. 194 00:08:08,286 --> 00:08:11,072 Are you sure northern boulevard's the best way to go? 195 00:08:11,139 --> 00:08:12,639 There's so many lights. 196 00:08:12,707 --> 00:08:14,841 I think we should cut through the waldbaum's 197 00:08:14,909 --> 00:08:16,177 and go through the neighborhood. 198 00:08:16,244 --> 00:08:17,411 You know? And then we'd avoid all that. 199 00:08:17,479 --> 00:08:19,680 Let's try that tomorrow. 200 00:08:23,719 --> 00:08:24,868 Okeydoke. 201 00:08:28,223 --> 00:08:29,757 Ohh! 202 00:08:29,824 --> 00:08:31,392 Ahh. 203 00:08:31,460 --> 00:08:33,661 I am beat. I'm gonna head upstairs to bed. 204 00:08:33,729 --> 00:08:35,029 Yeah, me, too. 205 00:08:38,466 --> 00:08:40,217 You know what? Actually, I'm gonna stay down 206 00:08:40,284 --> 00:08:41,719 and actually watch a little tele-vis-i-on 207 00:08:41,786 --> 00:08:43,020 for a while. 208 00:08:45,790 --> 00:08:46,891 Ok, baby. Ok. 209 00:09:09,714 --> 00:09:11,248 Oh, is that Patrick Swayze? 210 00:10:00,248 --> 00:10:01,248 Hey, man. 211 00:10:01,316 --> 00:10:02,249 Have you seen Carrie? 212 00:10:02,317 --> 00:10:03,516 No. 213 00:10:03,584 --> 00:10:06,169 Thank God! 214 00:10:06,237 --> 00:10:07,938 I gotta hit the men's room where I can grab 20 minutes alone 215 00:10:08,005 --> 00:10:09,440 before we drive home tonight. 216 00:10:09,507 --> 00:10:10,657 Yeah, about all that time 217 00:10:10,724 --> 00:10:13,910 you're spending in the bathroom... 218 00:10:13,978 --> 00:10:15,512 The other drivers are getting a little creeped out 219 00:10:15,580 --> 00:10:18,515 walking in and finding you in that folding chair by the urinals. 220 00:10:20,801 --> 00:10:22,603 I'm sorry, but it's the only way I can escape her. 221 00:10:22,670 --> 00:10:25,756 She's everywhere! 222 00:10:25,824 --> 00:10:26,657 Doug? 223 00:10:26,724 --> 00:10:28,141 Oh, my God! Cover for me! 224 00:10:33,665 --> 00:10:34,597 Hey. Hey. 225 00:10:34,666 --> 00:10:35,699 You see the big guy? 226 00:10:35,767 --> 00:10:37,500 Uh, I-i think he's still out on his route. 227 00:10:38,519 --> 00:10:40,037 But his truck's right there. 228 00:10:40,104 --> 00:10:43,406 Oh, he-he must be delivering on foot, then. 229 00:10:44,325 --> 00:10:45,341 You guys do that? 230 00:10:45,409 --> 00:10:47,911 Uh, we like to mix it up. 231 00:10:49,163 --> 00:10:50,630 Uh, that's my snack. See you later. 232 00:10:51,832 --> 00:10:52,832 Hey, that's my lean pocket. 233 00:10:52,900 --> 00:10:55,068 No, it's not. Yes, it is. 234 00:10:55,135 --> 00:10:56,603 I need to do this. 235 00:11:35,076 --> 00:11:36,209 Aah! 236 00:11:37,628 --> 00:11:39,129 Hey, baby. Hey! 237 00:11:39,197 --> 00:11:40,630 Calm down. It's just me. 238 00:11:40,698 --> 00:11:41,932 I know. What's up? What's goin' on? 239 00:11:41,999 --> 00:11:44,201 Oh, I was just wondering if you can store some stuff 240 00:11:44,268 --> 00:11:45,535 in your locker for me. 241 00:11:45,603 --> 00:11:47,537 Like what? Oh, just my sweater 242 00:11:47,605 --> 00:11:50,440 and some of my lady products 243 00:11:50,507 --> 00:11:52,909 and a picture of me 244 00:11:52,977 --> 00:11:55,812 to remember me when I'm not here. 245 00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:58,848 And when will that be?! 246 00:11:58,916 --> 00:12:00,500 What? 247 00:12:00,567 --> 00:12:02,151 I'm sorry. It's just... 248 00:12:02,219 --> 00:12:03,820 Every second of every day, 249 00:12:03,888 --> 00:12:06,322 you know? Driving together, calling me in the truck. 250 00:12:06,391 --> 00:12:08,859 All night with me, you, and Patrick Swayze. 251 00:12:08,926 --> 00:12:11,027 I can't take it anymore! 252 00:12:11,095 --> 00:12:13,931 All right, look, Doug, maybe I went a little overboard here, ok? 253 00:12:13,998 --> 00:12:15,532 Maybe I called you a little too much 254 00:12:15,599 --> 00:12:16,666 on your little radio there, 255 00:12:16,734 --> 00:12:18,568 but I'm only gonna be here for 2 weeks! 256 00:12:18,636 --> 00:12:20,337 You couldn't take it for 2 weeks? 257 00:12:20,405 --> 00:12:21,471 I was surprised myself! 258 00:12:21,539 --> 00:12:23,273 You know? But 2 weeks can seem pretty long! 259 00:12:23,341 --> 00:12:25,208 You know, like, if you're on jury duty 260 00:12:25,276 --> 00:12:27,677 or trapped in a mine! 261 00:12:27,745 --> 00:12:29,345 Oh! Ok, so working with me 262 00:12:29,413 --> 00:12:31,681 is like being trapped in a mine. 263 00:12:31,749 --> 00:12:33,182 Ok, well, I- 264 00:12:33,250 --> 00:12:34,217 you know what, Doug? 265 00:12:34,284 --> 00:12:37,020 I am so sorry that my very presence here 266 00:12:37,088 --> 00:12:38,855 has been so awful for you. 267 00:12:39,807 --> 00:12:41,124 You know what? It's really funny, 268 00:12:41,191 --> 00:12:43,260 because for me, 269 00:12:43,327 --> 00:12:44,795 I love spending this time together. 270 00:12:44,862 --> 00:12:48,298 I- I love being here with you. You know? 271 00:12:48,365 --> 00:12:49,966 I mean... 272 00:12:50,034 --> 00:12:52,502 Watching you work has actually been a turn-on for me, 273 00:12:52,569 --> 00:12:54,070 if you could believe that. 274 00:13:01,879 --> 00:13:03,379 Really? 275 00:13:03,447 --> 00:13:05,782 Yeah. You know, watching you lift all those heavy boxes 276 00:13:05,850 --> 00:13:09,552 and gettin' sweaty and workin' the forklift. 277 00:13:09,620 --> 00:13:11,821 I've never seen you at work, you know? 278 00:13:11,889 --> 00:13:13,723 You're good at what you do. It's sexy. 279 00:13:16,761 --> 00:13:18,595 It is? 280 00:13:18,663 --> 00:13:20,814 Yeah, but you hate me, so... 281 00:13:20,882 --> 00:13:21,882 What's the point? 282 00:13:21,950 --> 00:13:24,117 I- 283 00:13:24,185 --> 00:13:25,419 I feel like an idiot now. 284 00:13:25,486 --> 00:13:27,270 Well, you should. 285 00:13:27,338 --> 00:13:28,889 Look, I'm-I'm sorry. 286 00:13:28,956 --> 00:13:31,424 You know I love you. I just- 287 00:13:31,492 --> 00:13:33,626 I just got carried away. 288 00:13:39,033 --> 00:13:41,434 So you like the forklift, huh? 289 00:13:43,104 --> 00:13:44,404 Yeah. 290 00:13:44,472 --> 00:13:47,474 Especially when you raise and swivel at the same time. 291 00:13:47,541 --> 00:13:49,876 You know, that breaks every safety code, but... 292 00:13:49,944 --> 00:13:51,612 It's my signature move. 293 00:13:55,599 --> 00:13:58,101 Do you, uh... 294 00:13:58,168 --> 00:14:00,336 Like it when I do this here? 295 00:14:00,404 --> 00:14:02,171 Do you like that, right here? Huh? 296 00:14:09,497 --> 00:14:10,163 We get it, Doug. Yeah. 297 00:14:10,230 --> 00:14:12,615 Give it a rest now. 298 00:14:12,683 --> 00:14:14,384 How 'bout this stuff here? 299 00:14:16,754 --> 00:14:18,254 Ohh! 300 00:14:18,322 --> 00:14:21,058 Bubbles no match for me! 301 00:14:24,411 --> 00:14:25,695 Look, I'm- 302 00:14:25,763 --> 00:14:28,298 I'm really sorry. Ok? 303 00:14:28,366 --> 00:14:29,299 Ok. 304 00:14:43,514 --> 00:14:45,632 Have a good day at work, tiger. 305 00:14:45,700 --> 00:14:48,234 Mmm. I hate to see you go, 306 00:14:48,302 --> 00:14:50,469 but I love to watch you leave. 307 00:14:53,290 --> 00:14:54,707 What's up with you two now? 308 00:14:54,775 --> 00:14:57,110 Oh, just found out there's a couple of perks 309 00:14:57,178 --> 00:14:59,145 to havin' your wife around at work. 310 00:14:59,213 --> 00:15:00,280 What do you mean? 311 00:15:00,347 --> 00:15:02,265 Mmm. I don't like to have sex 312 00:15:02,333 --> 00:15:04,067 in a truck and tell. 313 00:15:05,702 --> 00:15:08,305 Oh, wait. I guess I do. 314 00:15:08,372 --> 00:15:11,441 Nice. Yahtzee! 315 00:15:13,210 --> 00:15:13,977 Doug and Carrie, 316 00:15:14,045 --> 00:15:15,562 back of his truck. 317 00:15:15,630 --> 00:15:19,799 Turnin' this place into I.P. "Oh, yes." 318 00:15:20,968 --> 00:15:22,402 That's the story, Duke. 319 00:15:22,470 --> 00:15:25,405 And by the way, he punched out after. 320 00:15:25,473 --> 00:15:27,240 Rockin' on the clock. 321 00:15:27,308 --> 00:15:29,876 Now, that's the way to do it. 322 00:15:29,943 --> 00:15:31,811 I heard it was surprisingly tender. 323 00:15:33,030 --> 00:15:34,431 I think it's pretty inappropriate. 324 00:15:34,499 --> 00:15:35,432 Aren't they married? 325 00:15:35,488 --> 00:15:37,434 Yeah. Still, in a truck? 326 00:15:37,502 --> 00:15:39,068 Yeah, guess you're right. 327 00:15:39,137 --> 00:15:41,037 Why are temps always so slutty? 328 00:15:55,569 --> 00:15:56,669 Spence, my good man! 329 00:15:56,738 --> 00:15:59,472 Yeah, I'm here. Um... 330 00:15:59,540 --> 00:16:02,659 Why did you want me to wear a green turtleneck? 331 00:16:02,726 --> 00:16:05,495 For our Christmas card, of course. 332 00:16:05,563 --> 00:16:06,729 Come again? 333 00:16:06,797 --> 00:16:07,797 A simple snapshot. 334 00:16:07,865 --> 00:16:10,133 You offer me these chocolate chip cookies, 335 00:16:10,201 --> 00:16:13,453 and I react with delight, thusly: 336 00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:15,021 Hey! 337 00:16:16,573 --> 00:16:17,691 What- 338 00:16:17,758 --> 00:16:19,726 what exactly is our relationship 339 00:16:19,793 --> 00:16:22,729 that we're sending out a Christmas card together? 340 00:16:22,796 --> 00:16:24,097 Buddies, confidants, 341 00:16:24,164 --> 00:16:26,383 2 Randy gents about town. 342 00:16:26,450 --> 00:16:28,651 Don't you think that seems... 343 00:16:28,719 --> 00:16:31,438 Joyous? Inspired? 344 00:16:31,505 --> 00:16:33,239 Gay. 345 00:16:33,307 --> 00:16:36,059 Christmas is no time for bigotry! 346 00:16:36,127 --> 00:16:37,544 I'm not homophobic! 347 00:16:37,612 --> 00:16:41,164 I just don't wanna be on a card with you. 348 00:16:41,232 --> 00:16:42,465 These aren't even real! 349 00:16:42,533 --> 00:16:43,950 Of course not. They're prop cookies. 350 00:16:44,018 --> 00:16:46,636 Real cookies photograph like buttons, idiot! 351 00:16:46,704 --> 00:16:47,904 Merry Christmas, Arthur. 352 00:16:47,972 --> 00:16:49,389 Good! Leave, then. 353 00:16:49,457 --> 00:16:51,341 Now I don't have to explain to people 354 00:16:51,408 --> 00:16:53,609 how I befriended a lawn dwarf! 355 00:16:56,764 --> 00:16:58,365 Back of the truck. Now. 356 00:17:04,938 --> 00:17:05,989 Ahh. 357 00:17:06,057 --> 00:17:07,958 Comin' back for some more Dougie lovin', huh? 358 00:17:08,025 --> 00:17:10,660 I guess once you pop, you can't stop. 359 00:17:10,728 --> 00:17:11,962 Ow! 360 00:17:12,029 --> 00:17:14,064 Tough love. I'm in. 361 00:17:14,131 --> 00:17:17,233 I can't believe you told everyone! 362 00:17:17,301 --> 00:17:18,384 What are you talkin' about? 363 00:17:18,452 --> 00:17:20,669 What am I talking about? About what we did here. 364 00:17:20,737 --> 00:17:21,854 Oh, and you didn't tell anyone? 365 00:17:21,922 --> 00:17:23,573 Oh, yeah, I just couldn't wait to tell everyone 366 00:17:23,641 --> 00:17:25,909 how chunky nailed me on bubble wrap. 367 00:17:25,976 --> 00:17:27,476 You see, I knew this was wrong 368 00:17:27,545 --> 00:17:29,378 for a husband and wife to work together! 369 00:17:29,446 --> 00:17:31,581 Well, you know what, you don't have to worry about that anymore, 370 00:17:31,649 --> 00:17:33,583 because for the rest of my time here, 371 00:17:33,651 --> 00:17:35,051 we are not husband and wife, ok? 372 00:17:35,118 --> 00:17:36,786 We are separate employees 373 00:17:36,854 --> 00:17:38,655 with separate lives. 374 00:17:38,722 --> 00:17:39,855 Works for me! 375 00:17:39,923 --> 00:17:40,656 Perfect! 376 00:17:51,769 --> 00:17:53,119 Ok, payday! 377 00:17:53,187 --> 00:17:55,138 Who wants a paycheck? 378 00:17:55,206 --> 00:17:56,539 Uh, LA pointe? 379 00:17:56,607 --> 00:17:57,740 LA pon-tay. 380 00:17:57,808 --> 00:17:58,808 Right. There you go. 381 00:17:58,876 --> 00:17:59,809 Deacon? 382 00:17:59,877 --> 00:18:00,810 Thanks, Carrie. 383 00:18:00,878 --> 00:18:02,612 You're welcome. And... 384 00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:04,814 Hefferman? 385 00:18:04,881 --> 00:18:07,567 Actually, it's heffer-nan. 386 00:18:07,635 --> 00:18:08,585 Oh! 387 00:18:08,652 --> 00:18:10,987 Right. Ok, well, here's your check, dick. 388 00:18:12,322 --> 00:18:14,157 Oh, I'm sorry. It's Doug. 389 00:18:14,224 --> 00:18:15,791 I'm sorry. I'm new here. 390 00:18:15,859 --> 00:18:17,777 Ok, florsheim? 391 00:18:17,844 --> 00:18:19,529 Listen, I do need to speak to you 392 00:18:19,597 --> 00:18:21,781 about one non-work-related matter 393 00:18:21,848 --> 00:18:23,007 if that's ok. 394 00:18:23,042 --> 00:18:24,167 What is it? 395 00:18:24,268 --> 00:18:25,117 Well, it's about our Christmas tree. 396 00:18:25,185 --> 00:18:26,252 We're supposed to get it tonight, 397 00:18:26,319 --> 00:18:28,354 that is, if we're still celebrating Christmas. 398 00:18:28,422 --> 00:18:29,555 Well, I know I am. 399 00:18:29,623 --> 00:18:30,289 As am I. In fact, 400 00:18:30,441 --> 00:18:32,542 I'm gettin' a Santa tattoo. 401 00:18:36,697 --> 00:18:38,481 How 'bout this, Doug, 402 00:18:38,549 --> 00:18:41,817 how 'bout we each get our own tree this year? Hmm? 403 00:18:41,885 --> 00:18:44,553 Sounds good to me. Now I can break out my naked lady ornaments. 404 00:18:52,462 --> 00:18:55,999 Ohh. Well, I got my tree. 405 00:18:56,066 --> 00:18:57,433 Oh, is that one yours? 406 00:18:57,501 --> 00:18:59,269 That's adorable. 407 00:19:00,637 --> 00:19:01,504 Actually, um, no. 408 00:19:01,571 --> 00:19:02,738 I'm gonna- this is the tree 409 00:19:02,806 --> 00:19:04,707 that I'm getting right here. 410 00:19:06,677 --> 00:19:07,610 Ok. There you go. 411 00:19:07,678 --> 00:19:08,744 I got it. Yeah. 412 00:19:08,813 --> 00:19:09,913 Ok. 413 00:19:13,017 --> 00:19:13,950 Hi. Hi. 414 00:19:14,018 --> 00:19:15,084 How much for this one? 415 00:19:15,152 --> 00:19:16,835 Uh, that's $55. 416 00:19:16,903 --> 00:19:18,555 $55. All righty. 417 00:19:18,622 --> 00:19:22,091 Here we go. 60. 418 00:19:22,159 --> 00:19:22,975 Ben, honey? 419 00:19:23,043 --> 00:19:24,260 Yeah? You got change? 420 00:19:24,327 --> 00:19:26,529 Oh, I sure do, sweetheart. 421 00:19:26,596 --> 00:19:28,297 Well, where-where'd I put my Fanny pack? 422 00:19:28,365 --> 00:19:30,249 It's in the trailer. Right. 423 00:19:30,317 --> 00:19:32,184 He never remembers anything. 424 00:19:32,252 --> 00:19:33,786 In case you forget, your hat's on your head. 425 00:19:35,522 --> 00:19:37,607 You guys are married? Oh, yeah. 426 00:19:37,674 --> 00:19:38,874 And you work together? 427 00:19:38,942 --> 00:19:42,629 We've been together 24 hours a day since 1951. 428 00:19:42,696 --> 00:19:44,597 Let me get some rope for your car. 429 00:19:44,665 --> 00:19:46,149 Ok. 430 00:19:46,984 --> 00:19:48,501 Wow. 431 00:19:48,569 --> 00:19:50,236 They've worked together for half a century, 432 00:19:50,304 --> 00:19:51,904 and, uh... 433 00:19:51,972 --> 00:19:53,639 We couldn't even make it for 10 days. 434 00:19:54,708 --> 00:19:55,908 We suck. 435 00:19:55,976 --> 00:19:57,644 Yeah. 436 00:19:57,711 --> 00:19:58,811 Look, I'm- 437 00:19:58,878 --> 00:20:01,380 I'm sorry about all this. I- 438 00:20:01,448 --> 00:20:02,815 I love being with you, and if you want, 439 00:20:02,882 --> 00:20:04,850 you can work at I.P.S. Full-time. 440 00:20:04,918 --> 00:20:06,102 Should I quit? 441 00:20:06,170 --> 00:20:07,736 That would make it the best Christmas ever. 442 00:20:07,804 --> 00:20:10,389 Yes, sir, got the change. 443 00:20:10,457 --> 00:20:12,925 And did you want the other tree as well? 444 00:20:12,993 --> 00:20:14,060 Uh, you know what? 445 00:20:14,127 --> 00:20:15,762 I think the one is just good for us. 446 00:20:15,830 --> 00:20:16,896 We're fine. Thank you. 447 00:20:16,964 --> 00:20:19,065 Yeah. Thank you, you guys. 448 00:20:19,132 --> 00:20:21,067 Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. 449 00:20:23,487 --> 00:20:26,239 Nice work. You just cost us a sale. 450 00:20:26,306 --> 00:20:27,240 I did? 451 00:20:27,307 --> 00:20:28,574 Yeah, if you'd had your Fanny pack 452 00:20:28,642 --> 00:20:29,942 around your waist where it belonged, 453 00:20:30,010 --> 00:20:31,577 they wouldn't have time to change their mind. 454 00:20:31,645 --> 00:20:33,179 But the money's safer in the trailer! 455 00:20:33,247 --> 00:20:34,980 Oh, you get stupider every year! 456 00:20:35,048 --> 00:20:36,249 Oh, shut up! 457 00:20:36,316 --> 00:20:38,651 Shut up. Shut up! 458 00:20:38,718 --> 00:20:40,019 Shut up! 459 00:20:40,086 --> 00:20:42,004 Daphne, shut up! 460 00:21:29,987 --> 00:21:31,237 Fire! 30769

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.