Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:33,631 --> 00:00:35,298
Dad, will you please drop it?
2
00:00:35,365 --> 00:00:36,399
I won't!
3
00:00:36,467 --> 00:00:37,901
You're being insane!
4
00:00:37,968 --> 00:00:39,669
I just want to be
properly groomed!
5
00:00:39,737 --> 00:00:41,522
That's the opposite of insane!
6
00:00:41,590 --> 00:00:43,525
This has nothing to
do with grooming.
7
00:00:43,593 --> 00:00:46,461
It has to do with you trying to
get your hair dyed for free.
8
00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:48,179
Tinted! On your left.
9
00:00:48,247 --> 00:00:50,583
The point is, I am
not schlepping you
10
00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:52,351
to some beauty
school in Brooklyn
11
00:00:52,419 --> 00:00:54,120
just so that you can
save a few bucks.
12
00:00:54,188 --> 00:00:56,022
It's not to save a few bucks.
13
00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:59,427
I want to help the Paul lemond
students learn their craft!
14
00:00:59,495 --> 00:01:01,028
Need the butter, thanks.
15
00:01:01,096 --> 00:01:04,500
Douglas, do you think my
request is so insane?
16
00:01:04,568 --> 00:01:08,203
Go ahead, tell him, Doug.
Tell him how insane it is.
17
00:01:09,173 --> 00:01:10,239
I don't want any trouble.
18
00:01:10,307 --> 00:01:11,841
Ok, all right. You
know what, dad?
19
00:01:11,909 --> 00:01:14,245
Fine. If you want
to go so badly,
20
00:01:14,313 --> 00:01:16,380
here is money for a cab.
Go to Brooklyn.
21
00:01:16,448 --> 00:01:18,115
Get a mohawk, have a ball.
22
00:01:18,183 --> 00:01:19,751
I don't want your filthy lucre.
23
00:01:19,819 --> 00:01:21,353
Ok, your lucre's in my toast.
24
00:01:21,421 --> 00:01:23,288
Well, I am not driving you,
25
00:01:23,356 --> 00:01:24,791
so if you want to go,
26
00:01:24,859 --> 00:01:26,676
you're gonna have to hitchhike.
27
00:01:26,744 --> 00:01:28,945
So some trucker can
have his way with me?
28
00:01:29,012 --> 00:01:30,864
You'd love that!
29
00:01:30,932 --> 00:01:32,549
Yeah, I'd love it if
he drove off with you.
30
00:01:32,617 --> 00:01:34,486
How dare you!
31
00:01:39,025 --> 00:01:40,727
What the hell is wrong with you?
32
00:01:40,794 --> 00:01:43,696
Perhaps you should be
asking that of yourself.
33
00:01:43,764 --> 00:01:45,549
And we're back.
34
00:01:45,617 --> 00:01:48,985
Why would you try to dye
your own hair? Why?
35
00:01:49,053 --> 00:01:51,139
Because you wouldn't
drive me to Brooklyn!
36
00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:53,024
Excuse me. I just need a beer.
37
00:01:53,092 --> 00:01:54,626
And congratulations, dad,
38
00:01:54,694 --> 00:01:56,161
you've managed to ruin my sink.
39
00:01:56,229 --> 00:01:58,364
And why black hair dye?
40
00:01:58,431 --> 00:02:00,316
I mean, what's that about?
41
00:02:00,384 --> 00:02:02,719
The drugstore was out
of summer auburn.
42
00:02:02,787 --> 00:02:05,690
Besides, I think I
look quite dashing.
43
00:02:05,757 --> 00:02:07,341
Dashing?
44
00:02:07,409 --> 00:02:09,745
You're dripping
like bad mascara.
45
00:02:09,812 --> 00:02:12,313
You should know!
46
00:02:12,381 --> 00:02:15,235
Why wouldn't you just
take the $20 I gave you
47
00:02:15,303 --> 00:02:16,937
and call a cab? Hmm? Why?
48
00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:19,389
It was a matter of principle!
49
00:02:19,457 --> 00:02:20,540
Principle?
50
00:02:20,608 --> 00:02:22,209
Oh, ok, what principle
is that, dad?
51
00:02:22,277 --> 00:02:24,444
I pay for your room,
your food, your clothes.
52
00:02:24,512 --> 00:02:28,433
What principle won't allow you
to take my money for your hair?
53
00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:34,774
Oh, couldn't even get the bat off
your shoulder on that one, huh?
54
00:02:41,317 --> 00:02:43,718
Because my room,
food, and clothing
55
00:02:43,785 --> 00:02:46,255
do not grow out of my head!
56
00:02:46,323 --> 00:02:48,257
That's the difference.
57
00:02:51,845 --> 00:02:53,597
Well, well.
58
00:02:53,664 --> 00:02:56,551
Now who can't get the
bat off their shoulder?
59
00:02:57,786 --> 00:02:59,253
Good night.
60
00:03:03,193 --> 00:03:04,693
Turn the light off, hon'.
61
00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:06,462
Turn the light off?
Turn the light off?
62
00:03:06,530 --> 00:03:08,581
Yeah.
63
00:03:08,649 --> 00:03:10,216
Did you happen to notice that a
lunatic just came into our room?
64
00:03:10,284 --> 00:03:13,520
And now he's gone, so can
you turn the light off?
65
00:03:13,921 --> 00:03:15,188
Carrie!
66
00:03:15,256 --> 00:03:17,041
What are you so upset
about all of a sudden?
67
00:03:17,109 --> 00:03:19,027
This kind of thing happens
almost every day.
68
00:03:19,095 --> 00:03:20,228
And it's not natural.
69
00:03:20,296 --> 00:03:21,864
Other people don't
live like this.
70
00:03:21,932 --> 00:03:23,599
I know, 'cause I see
them on my route.
71
00:03:23,667 --> 00:03:25,969
Ok, they're happy. They
smile, they sing, Carrie.
72
00:03:26,037 --> 00:03:27,637
We don't sing!
73
00:03:27,839 --> 00:03:29,640
What do you want me to do, Doug?
74
00:03:29,707 --> 00:03:31,875
He's just a crazy,
difficult old man.
75
00:03:31,943 --> 00:03:34,696
Yeah, well, there must be things
you can do with crazy old people.
76
00:03:34,764 --> 00:03:38,133
What? Like get him his own
corner on 48th street?
77
00:03:38,201 --> 00:03:40,619
I don't know. All I'm sayin'
is, I can't take it anymore.
78
00:03:40,687 --> 00:03:43,289
Look, I'm gonna lay
it on the line here.
79
00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:45,692
If you wanna keep gettin' this,
80
00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:48,796
you're gonna have to do
something about that.
81
00:03:50,532 --> 00:03:52,834
Ok, which way you leanin', here?
82
00:03:52,902 --> 00:03:56,004
All right, Doug,
maybe you're right.
83
00:03:56,071 --> 00:03:59,274
We could take him to see a
therapist or something.
84
00:03:59,342 --> 00:04:00,743
Therapist?
85
00:04:00,811 --> 00:04:02,813
I was thinking more
along the lines
86
00:04:02,881 --> 00:04:04,815
of a big cage.
87
00:04:04,883 --> 00:04:06,133
Why don't we try this first?
88
00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,253
Yeah, but therapists,
aren't they expensive?
89
00:04:08,255 --> 00:04:10,188
No, we'll just take
him for one session,
90
00:04:10,255 --> 00:04:12,492
just so the guy can get a
sense of who he is, you know?
91
00:04:12,559 --> 00:04:15,311
What goes on in his mind and
give him some really good drugs.
92
00:04:15,379 --> 00:04:16,980
Drugs. Yeah, yeah. That's good.
93
00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:20,116
That's what they do with cranky
old people now. They dope 'em up.
94
00:04:20,184 --> 00:04:21,318
Yeah.
95
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:23,671
Let's bring him in,
get him altered.
96
00:04:23,738 --> 00:04:25,323
I'll check into it tomorrow, ok?
97
00:04:25,391 --> 00:04:26,559
Ok. All right.
98
00:04:26,626 --> 00:04:28,594
Let's go back to sleep.
99
00:04:31,280 --> 00:04:34,601
Hey, as long as we're
up, you, uh...
100
00:04:35,570 --> 00:04:36,804
You want some of this?
101
00:04:36,872 --> 00:04:39,656
Good night, honey. All
right, good night.
102
00:04:47,067 --> 00:04:50,653
So, Arthur, how do you
feel about being here?
103
00:04:50,721 --> 00:04:53,591
I despise it with every
fiber of my being.
104
00:04:55,627 --> 00:04:58,629
Psychiatry is for the
weak and the decadent.
105
00:04:58,697 --> 00:05:00,832
Then why did you agree to come?
106
00:05:00,899 --> 00:05:04,086
I was promised a steak dinner.
107
00:05:04,154 --> 00:05:07,073
A fancy steakhouse, not sizzler!
108
00:05:09,377 --> 00:05:11,828
Who exactly was that
directed towards?
109
00:05:11,896 --> 00:05:13,181
My daughter and son-in-law,
110
00:05:13,248 --> 00:05:16,167
who are obviously observing
me in the waiting room
111
00:05:16,235 --> 00:05:18,103
through this 2-way mirror.
112
00:05:23,310 --> 00:05:25,445
It's a regular mirror.
113
00:05:25,512 --> 00:05:28,482
And the waiting
room is over there.
114
00:05:28,534 --> 00:05:30,767
Fine. We'll play it your way.
115
00:05:33,188 --> 00:05:34,922
Well, as long as you are here,
116
00:05:34,990 --> 00:05:37,109
is there anything you'd
like to talk about?
117
00:05:37,176 --> 00:05:39,478
Nothing you want to
hear, my friend.
118
00:05:39,547 --> 00:05:41,180
What do you think
I want to hear?
119
00:05:41,248 --> 00:05:44,868
Oh, I suppose all the
usual moaning and crying.
120
00:05:44,936 --> 00:05:47,070
Oh, doctor, please help me.
121
00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:49,073
I was an unhappy child.
122
00:05:49,141 --> 00:05:52,812
I wanted to kill my father
and make love to my mother.
123
00:05:58,169 --> 00:05:59,903
Damn, you're good.
124
00:06:02,473 --> 00:06:04,458
But my most frequent
childhood fear
125
00:06:04,526 --> 00:06:06,827
was that I would lose my voice,
126
00:06:06,895 --> 00:06:09,064
that one day I
would try to speak
127
00:06:09,249 --> 00:06:10,765
and no sound would come out.
128
00:06:10,833 --> 00:06:12,184
Aha.
129
00:06:13,454 --> 00:06:15,371
Does that mean I'm gay?
130
00:06:17,207 --> 00:06:18,926
No.
131
00:06:18,994 --> 00:06:22,413
It could mean you feel like
you're not always being heard.
132
00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:24,582
Yes, of course.
133
00:06:24,650 --> 00:06:25,883
Which is perhaps
134
00:06:25,951 --> 00:06:28,438
why you developed a
tendency to scream.
135
00:06:28,505 --> 00:06:30,573
Amazing. How did
you know I scream?
136
00:06:30,641 --> 00:06:34,211
From before, when
you screamed at me.
137
00:06:34,279 --> 00:06:36,479
Sorry again about that.
I didn't realize
138
00:06:36,547 --> 00:06:38,716
you were just making
notes on your pad.
139
00:06:38,784 --> 00:06:42,686
I thought you were
drawing my caricature.
140
00:06:42,754 --> 00:06:45,474
Let's talk more about this
issue of not being heard.
141
00:06:45,542 --> 00:06:48,462
Can you remember a specific
incident from childhood
142
00:06:48,529 --> 00:06:50,697
when you felt that way?
143
00:06:50,765 --> 00:06:53,216
Oh, can I ever.
144
00:06:53,283 --> 00:06:57,121
It involved something very,
very close to my heart.
145
00:07:01,677 --> 00:07:04,681
Hey, Arthur, do those
dumb things even work?
146
00:07:04,748 --> 00:07:07,249
I'm looking at your
skeleton as we speak.
147
00:07:07,318 --> 00:07:10,086
Getting those glasses was the
happiest moment of my life.
148
00:07:10,154 --> 00:07:11,322
You mean up to that point?
149
00:07:11,389 --> 00:07:12,723
No. Ever.
150
00:07:17,379 --> 00:07:18,580
Hey, Arthur,
151
00:07:18,648 --> 00:07:20,482
I thought dad said you
couldn't have those.
152
00:07:20,551 --> 00:07:22,018
Where did you get
the money anyhow?
153
00:07:22,085 --> 00:07:23,285
Don't tell him.
154
00:07:23,353 --> 00:07:25,455
I won it pitching pennies
against whitey dugan.
155
00:07:25,523 --> 00:07:26,690
Damn.
156
00:07:30,462 --> 00:07:31,729
Hi, dad.
157
00:07:31,797 --> 00:07:33,798
Hey, there, skitchy!
How's it goin'?
158
00:07:33,866 --> 00:07:34,900
Good.
159
00:07:34,968 --> 00:07:36,268
Hi, dad.
160
00:07:37,203 --> 00:07:39,472
Arthur.
161
00:07:39,540 --> 00:07:42,141
Say, what's that on your head?
162
00:07:42,209 --> 00:07:43,944
These are just my
regular glasses.
163
00:07:44,011 --> 00:07:45,913
Really?
164
00:07:45,981 --> 00:07:48,182
They always had those spirally
circle things on the lenses?
165
00:07:48,249 --> 00:07:49,517
Sure.
166
00:07:49,586 --> 00:07:50,819
Don't lie to me, boy.
167
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:52,187
I can check with
your optometrist.
168
00:07:52,254 --> 00:07:53,889
They're X-ray glasses.
169
00:07:53,957 --> 00:07:56,025
He bought them with the money
he won pitching pennies.
170
00:07:56,093 --> 00:07:57,159
What?
171
00:07:57,227 --> 00:07:58,995
Et tu, skitch?
172
00:07:59,063 --> 00:08:01,231
I thought I told you any money
you win pitching pennies
173
00:08:01,299 --> 00:08:03,467
goes right into skitchy's
college fund, huh?
174
00:08:03,534 --> 00:08:05,770
It was just 15 cents, dad!
175
00:08:05,838 --> 00:08:08,473
Please, dad, don't throw
'em in the trash.
176
00:08:08,540 --> 00:08:10,109
Oh, don't worry, I won't.
177
00:08:10,176 --> 00:08:12,144
Happy Birthday, skitch.
Thanks, dad.
178
00:08:12,212 --> 00:08:13,913
Now go to your room!
179
00:08:13,981 --> 00:08:16,366
I hate it here!
180
00:08:19,103 --> 00:08:20,604
Those glasses meant
the world to me,
181
00:08:20,672 --> 00:08:22,273
but you couldn't hear
that, could you?
182
00:08:22,341 --> 00:08:24,008
Instead you had to
give them to skitch,
183
00:08:24,076 --> 00:08:26,345
your beloved, your golden boy.
184
00:08:26,413 --> 00:08:28,447
Skitch is a smart kid.
He's going places.
185
00:08:28,515 --> 00:08:29,982
He's gonna be arrested 9 times
186
00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:32,101
for stealing women's shoes.
187
00:08:32,169 --> 00:08:35,673
Hey, you want to join
yourself in that bedroom?
188
00:08:35,740 --> 00:08:38,342
You can't intimidate
me any more, dad.
189
00:08:38,410 --> 00:08:39,644
Oh, God.
190
00:08:39,711 --> 00:08:41,846
Get back here!
191
00:08:41,914 --> 00:08:43,282
You want a piece of me?
192
00:08:43,349 --> 00:08:45,117
You're gonna have to come
through my psychiatrist.
193
00:08:45,186 --> 00:08:47,187
Ooh, what have we here?
194
00:08:47,254 --> 00:08:50,123
Big fancy park Avenue
headshrinker, huh?
195
00:08:50,192 --> 00:08:51,258
What's the matter,
196
00:08:51,326 --> 00:08:52,759
couldn't make it
as a real doctor?
197
00:08:52,827 --> 00:08:54,228
I'm just here to observe.
198
00:08:54,296 --> 00:08:56,097
Oh, are you, Mary?
199
00:08:57,166 --> 00:09:01,070
Uh, let's get out of here.
200
00:09:10,899 --> 00:09:13,885
Well, Arthur and I have had
a very interesting hour.
201
00:09:13,952 --> 00:09:15,504
I think, perhaps, there are ways
202
00:09:15,571 --> 00:09:17,606
to bring about an improvement
in the situation
203
00:09:17,674 --> 00:09:19,108
you've been having at home.
204
00:09:19,176 --> 00:09:21,178
Hey, listen, if, uh,
there's anything we can do
205
00:09:21,245 --> 00:09:22,979
to... to help
Arthur feel better,
206
00:09:23,047 --> 00:09:24,564
please, you know,
just say the word.
207
00:09:24,631 --> 00:09:26,567
Absolutely.
208
00:09:26,634 --> 00:09:30,087
So is the pharmacy in the
lobby still open, or...
209
00:09:30,155 --> 00:09:31,506
Yes. Why?
210
00:09:31,524 --> 00:09:33,158
Well, if you can write
a prescription now,
211
00:09:33,226 --> 00:09:35,610
he'll be much
happier by tonight.
212
00:09:36,813 --> 00:09:39,282
May I continue? Please.
213
00:09:39,349 --> 00:09:40,682
Arthur, by his own admission,
214
00:09:40,750 --> 00:09:42,719
is a man who struggles
with not being heard.
215
00:09:42,787 --> 00:09:44,721
The more he feels like
he's not being heard,
216
00:09:44,789 --> 00:09:47,925
the louder he screams,
literally and figuratively.
217
00:09:47,993 --> 00:09:49,560
As you know, he is a screamer.
218
00:09:49,628 --> 00:09:51,380
Not in the gay sense.
219
00:09:52,549 --> 00:09:55,851
Anyway, a pattern has
obviously developed
220
00:09:55,919 --> 00:09:58,138
wherein Arthur assumes
that the 2 of you
221
00:09:58,206 --> 00:10:02,259
will consider his desires
to be extreme or frivolous,
222
00:10:02,327 --> 00:10:07,249
and thus he tends to live
down to your expectations.
223
00:10:08,902 --> 00:10:10,886
Do you understand?
224
00:10:10,954 --> 00:10:12,688
Yeah, I do. We do.
225
00:10:14,775 --> 00:10:17,745
So, uh, does the pharmacy
take insurance, or...
226
00:10:20,265 --> 00:10:23,952
You're not gonna write him
a prescription, are you?
227
00:10:23,954 --> 00:10:28,958
My only prescription is more
validation for this man.
228
00:10:29,026 --> 00:10:30,959
Listen to him. Hear him.
229
00:10:31,712 --> 00:10:33,764
Let him be who he is.
230
00:10:48,115 --> 00:10:51,652
Hey, dad. Whatcha
got goin' on here?
231
00:10:51,719 --> 00:10:53,320
Making candles.
232
00:10:54,657 --> 00:10:56,024
Candles?
233
00:10:56,091 --> 00:10:59,795
Yes, I always wanted to make and
sell them out of my own home.
234
00:10:59,863 --> 00:11:01,730
Ok, first of all, my home.
235
00:11:01,798 --> 00:11:04,750
Second of all, I eat
spaghetti out of that.
236
00:11:05,552 --> 00:11:06,569
Well, well.
237
00:11:06,637 --> 00:11:09,957
I'm not feeling very
validated right now.
238
00:11:10,024 --> 00:11:11,291
No, no, no. No, no, dad.
239
00:11:11,359 --> 00:11:13,028
We support you all the way.
240
00:11:13,095 --> 00:11:15,030
And by the way, we do validate.
241
00:11:15,097 --> 00:11:16,464
We just want to make sure
242
00:11:16,532 --> 00:11:18,300
that this is something you
really, really wanna do.
243
00:11:18,368 --> 00:11:19,401
It is.
244
00:11:19,469 --> 00:11:21,270
Ok, then.
245
00:11:24,976 --> 00:11:26,409
Oh, um.
246
00:11:26,477 --> 00:11:29,547
Just try to watch
out for, you know,
247
00:11:29,614 --> 00:11:31,882
burning the house down.
248
00:11:31,950 --> 00:11:32,835
Roger that!
249
00:11:32,903 --> 00:11:34,970
Ok.
250
00:11:35,038 --> 00:11:37,022
"Let's take him to a therapist."
251
00:11:37,090 --> 00:11:38,541
Wow! You're smart.
252
00:11:38,609 --> 00:11:40,710
All right, I thought the guy
would just medicate him.
253
00:11:40,778 --> 00:11:42,546
Did I know he was a
"validation" quack?
254
00:11:42,614 --> 00:11:44,182
I say we just bail
on this right now.
255
00:11:44,249 --> 00:11:45,582
We can't.
256
00:11:45,650 --> 00:11:47,018
I'm the one who made
him go to a shrink.
257
00:11:47,085 --> 00:11:48,653
If we blow off what
the guy says now,
258
00:11:48,721 --> 00:11:50,322
my dad will never
listen to me again.
259
00:11:50,389 --> 00:11:51,472
Things will just get worse.
260
00:11:51,540 --> 00:11:52,675
There's a man with glaucoma
261
00:11:52,743 --> 00:11:54,143
pouring hot wax in our kitchen.
262
00:11:54,211 --> 00:11:56,913
How much worse can it get?
263
00:11:56,980 --> 00:11:58,382
Anyone want a candle
264
00:11:58,449 --> 00:12:01,118
that looks sort of
like melvyn Douglas?
265
00:12:02,855 --> 00:12:03,988
I do!
266
00:12:05,490 --> 00:12:08,560
Mind if I hang this
over the mantel?
267
00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:11,246
Permission to start
a bluegrass band.
268
00:12:13,468 --> 00:12:14,568
Don't mind me.
269
00:12:14,635 --> 00:12:17,003
This is just for my documentary.
270
00:12:18,140 --> 00:12:20,174
I'd like to get a large parrot
271
00:12:20,242 --> 00:12:21,976
and name it Douglas.
272
00:12:23,196 --> 00:12:24,496
F.Y.I.,
273
00:12:24,564 --> 00:12:27,333
the lippman's will be
spending the night.
274
00:12:28,969 --> 00:12:30,937
I'd like to get another
parrot that lives,
275
00:12:31,039 --> 00:12:33,440
and call it Douglas the second.
276
00:12:35,276 --> 00:12:36,560
Actually, perhaps I should wait
277
00:12:36,628 --> 00:12:38,647
until I get the rest
of Douglas the first
278
00:12:38,714 --> 00:12:40,882
off the side of the garage.
279
00:12:46,457 --> 00:12:47,523
Hey, Arthur.
280
00:12:47,591 --> 00:12:48,792
Hello.
281
00:12:52,797 --> 00:12:54,599
Hey, how's the, uh, bluegrass
band workin' out for you?
282
00:12:54,667 --> 00:12:55,900
You got any gigs lined up?
283
00:12:55,968 --> 00:12:57,936
No, it never really got goin'.
284
00:12:58,004 --> 00:13:00,256
Mickey cracked his tooth
blowin' into the jug.
285
00:13:00,324 --> 00:13:01,924
Uh-huh.
286
00:13:01,992 --> 00:13:04,461
Hey, so when am I gettin' my candle
in the shape of Rusty staub?
287
00:13:04,529 --> 00:13:06,330
Uh, that's not gonna happen.
288
00:13:06,397 --> 00:13:07,814
Unfortunately,
289
00:13:07,882 --> 00:13:10,635
hot wax and hairy forearms
are a volatile mix.
290
00:13:11,270 --> 00:13:13,722
Right, right.
291
00:13:13,790 --> 00:13:16,392
Hey, how's Douglas
the second doin'?
292
00:13:19,746 --> 00:13:21,014
I'm sorry.
293
00:13:21,082 --> 00:13:23,533
Hey, look, Arthur, is there
anything else you need?
294
00:13:23,601 --> 00:13:25,719
Or, you know, anything
you want to buy or...
295
00:13:25,787 --> 00:13:27,655
Or build or immerse yourself in?
296
00:13:27,722 --> 00:13:29,023
'Cause we're here to listen.
297
00:13:29,192 --> 00:13:32,093
No, no. I'm... I'm
quite fine, thanks.
298
00:13:32,161 --> 00:13:34,531
Think I'll go grab a little nap.
299
00:13:39,404 --> 00:13:40,871
That shrink is a genius!
300
00:13:40,939 --> 00:13:42,289
What?
301
00:13:42,357 --> 00:13:43,741
He knew what he was
doing all along.
302
00:13:43,808 --> 00:13:46,110
We just kept validating Arthur
until he punched himself out.
303
00:13:46,178 --> 00:13:48,913
I... I... I can't even describe
to you how I feel right now.
304
00:13:48,981 --> 00:13:53,085
Carrie, I swear to you,
I've never been happier.
305
00:13:53,152 --> 00:13:55,488
I've never been more miserable.
306
00:14:05,519 --> 00:14:07,469
The adjustments you've
been making at home,
307
00:14:07,537 --> 00:14:09,539
the listening, the validating,
that's not working?
308
00:14:09,607 --> 00:14:11,641
Well, it's working for
my father, I guess.
309
00:14:11,709 --> 00:14:13,543
Now that we give him
everything he wants,
310
00:14:13,611 --> 00:14:14,978
he doesn't want anything.
311
00:14:15,046 --> 00:14:16,247
No more crazy demands,
312
00:14:16,315 --> 00:14:18,349
no more screaming,
no more fighting.
313
00:14:18,417 --> 00:14:19,751
It's what Doug's always wanted.
314
00:14:19,819 --> 00:14:21,886
He's happy, but I'm miserable.
315
00:14:21,954 --> 00:14:22,988
Well, let's explore that.
316
00:14:23,055 --> 00:14:24,857
Hey, doc, listen to me, ok?
317
00:14:24,925 --> 00:14:26,859
I don't need to send
your kid to college
318
00:14:26,927 --> 00:14:28,928
to find out what I already know.
319
00:14:28,996 --> 00:14:30,330
And what is that?
320
00:14:30,398 --> 00:14:31,831
That I like to fight.
321
00:14:31,900 --> 00:14:33,566
Obviously, on some level,
322
00:14:33,634 --> 00:14:35,169
I enjoyed fighting
with my father,
323
00:14:35,237 --> 00:14:36,888
and now that we don't
fight, I miss it.
324
00:14:36,956 --> 00:14:38,957
If you knew that, why'd
you come to see me?
325
00:14:39,025 --> 00:14:42,278
Um, well, I was hoping
that you could, um,
326
00:14:42,346 --> 00:14:44,179
prescribe me
something, you know,
327
00:14:44,248 --> 00:14:46,883
to kind of take the
sting out of it.
328
00:14:48,286 --> 00:14:50,187
Uh-huh. Well, since we
have the whole hour,
329
00:14:50,256 --> 00:14:52,407
why don't we talk about
your fighting issue?
330
00:14:52,474 --> 00:14:54,625
Wow, you really don't like to
take that prescription pad
331
00:14:54,693 --> 00:14:56,762
out of the holster, do you?
332
00:14:58,247 --> 00:14:59,364
Fine!
333
00:15:00,434 --> 00:15:02,635
I'll talk about my
"fighting issue."
334
00:15:02,703 --> 00:15:04,804
What do you want, like a
childhood memory or something?
335
00:15:04,871 --> 00:15:05,872
It's up to you.
336
00:15:05,940 --> 00:15:07,674
Ugh. Ok, fine.
337
00:15:09,911 --> 00:15:11,779
Sheena Easton sucks!
338
00:15:11,847 --> 00:15:13,898
She does not. She's the best.
339
00:15:13,966 --> 00:15:15,216
You're stupid!
340
00:15:15,285 --> 00:15:17,052
I'm not stupid, Carrie. You are.
341
00:15:17,071 --> 00:15:17,937
You are!
342
00:15:18,005 --> 00:15:20,540
And that outfit, not
your best look.
343
00:15:21,576 --> 00:15:22,642
You see?
344
00:15:22,710 --> 00:15:24,478
I liked to fight even as a kid.
345
00:15:24,545 --> 00:15:25,914
Are you convinced now?
346
00:15:25,982 --> 00:15:27,382
Well, I see what you're saying,
347
00:15:27,449 --> 00:15:28,884
though I find it interesting
348
00:15:28,951 --> 00:15:31,053
you picked this particular
memory to use as an example.
349
00:15:31,121 --> 00:15:34,022
I picked it because it was Lucy
McDonald's birthday party.
350
00:15:34,090 --> 00:15:35,925
She was my best friend.
Let's go back.
351
00:15:35,993 --> 00:15:37,344
Not just yet.
352
00:15:37,411 --> 00:15:38,544
Why? So you can finish eating?
353
00:15:38,612 --> 00:15:40,146
That cake is 22 years old.
354
00:15:40,214 --> 00:15:41,282
It's good,
355
00:15:41,350 --> 00:15:44,352
and I'm not really a cake guy.
356
00:15:44,419 --> 00:15:46,421
What's happening over there?
357
00:15:46,489 --> 00:15:48,057
Please let this be a
Barbie dream house.
358
00:15:48,124 --> 00:15:49,892
Please, please, please.
359
00:15:49,959 --> 00:15:51,745
I hope it's not.
360
00:15:51,812 --> 00:15:52,996
Why did you say that?
361
00:15:53,064 --> 00:15:54,731
I thought Lucy was
your best friend.
362
00:15:54,799 --> 00:15:57,001
She was. I don't know
why I said that.
363
00:15:57,069 --> 00:15:59,370
♪
364
00:15:59,437 --> 00:16:01,873
A Barbie dream house! Yay!
365
00:16:02,608 --> 00:16:03,875
Damn.
366
00:16:05,294 --> 00:16:06,529
Why are you upset?
367
00:16:06,597 --> 00:16:08,414
'Cause Lucy got what she wanted.
368
00:16:08,482 --> 00:16:10,582
But you love her. You
should be happy.
369
00:16:10,650 --> 00:16:11,635
Well, I'm not.
370
00:16:11,702 --> 00:16:13,770
What is wrong with you?
371
00:16:15,623 --> 00:16:17,775
A bee! A bee!
372
00:16:19,294 --> 00:16:21,396
Now you're happy?
That's demented!
373
00:16:21,464 --> 00:16:23,065
She's demented!
374
00:16:23,132 --> 00:16:26,803
Help! He's gonna sting me!
He's gonna sting me!
375
00:16:29,890 --> 00:16:31,926
Actually, it is kind of funny.
376
00:16:31,993 --> 00:16:35,196
"He's gonna sting me! Aah!"
377
00:16:38,501 --> 00:16:40,235
♪
378
00:16:40,303 --> 00:16:41,737
Oh, my God.
379
00:16:43,757 --> 00:16:45,925
I'm only happy when other
people are miserable,
380
00:16:45,993 --> 00:16:47,795
and I'm miserable
when they're happy.
381
00:16:47,862 --> 00:16:49,396
Is that it?
382
00:16:49,464 --> 00:16:50,864
I'm afraid
383
00:16:51,968 --> 00:16:53,952
we're out of time.
384
00:16:59,693 --> 00:17:01,310
I'm really not
following you at all.
385
00:17:01,378 --> 00:17:02,596
It's very simple.
386
00:17:02,664 --> 00:17:04,531
You are a happy
person by nature,
387
00:17:04,599 --> 00:17:05,999
and I am not.
388
00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:08,403
Ok, look. You are here,
389
00:17:08,471 --> 00:17:10,171
and I am here.
390
00:17:10,239 --> 00:17:12,774
When my father was
acting like a maniac,
391
00:17:12,842 --> 00:17:14,109
that made you unhappy,
392
00:17:14,177 --> 00:17:16,011
which brought you down to here,
393
00:17:16,079 --> 00:17:17,229
closer to me,
394
00:17:17,297 --> 00:17:18,815
which made me happier
395
00:17:18,883 --> 00:17:21,017
because now I had some company.
396
00:17:21,085 --> 00:17:22,136
How you doing so far?
397
00:17:22,204 --> 00:17:23,321
Keep going. Ok.
398
00:17:23,389 --> 00:17:25,239
Now that my father's
calmed down,
399
00:17:25,307 --> 00:17:26,540
you are back up here,
400
00:17:26,608 --> 00:17:28,276
and I am stuck down
here by myself.
401
00:17:28,344 --> 00:17:31,696
You are happy, I am
not, and I hate that.
402
00:17:31,764 --> 00:17:35,167
So when I'm unhappy,
that makes you happy?
403
00:17:36,270 --> 00:17:39,189
Well, not happy, but happier.
404
00:17:41,276 --> 00:17:43,911
I'm not gonna lie to you. I'm
a little shaken by that.
405
00:17:43,979 --> 00:17:45,947
And you should be.
That's my point.
406
00:17:46,015 --> 00:17:47,549
Don't you see? No.
407
00:17:47,617 --> 00:17:49,752
Doug, I am not fit
to be with you.
408
00:17:49,820 --> 00:17:51,420
You're sane and
healthy and nice,
409
00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:52,689
and I'm evil!
410
00:17:52,757 --> 00:17:55,491
Carrie, hey. Would I marry evil?
411
00:17:55,559 --> 00:17:57,460
Don't... don't touch me.
412
00:17:59,631 --> 00:18:01,382
My wife won't let me touch her.
413
00:18:01,449 --> 00:18:03,552
Does she usually?
414
00:18:03,620 --> 00:18:05,237
Yes.
415
00:18:05,305 --> 00:18:06,939
Yes, it's just the thing is...
416
00:18:07,007 --> 00:18:09,909
The thing is she's convinced now
that everything is her fault.
417
00:18:09,977 --> 00:18:12,312
That she's a bad
person or something.
418
00:18:12,380 --> 00:18:13,481
Do you agree?
419
00:18:13,548 --> 00:18:14,582
No.
420
00:18:14,650 --> 00:18:16,601
No, she's great. I
mean, I love her.
421
00:18:16,668 --> 00:18:19,137
Then what do you think
the problem is?
422
00:18:19,205 --> 00:18:21,239
I was kind of hoping,
for the $80,
423
00:18:21,374 --> 00:18:23,192
you'd tell me.
424
00:18:23,260 --> 00:18:25,828
I can't do that.
425
00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:27,714
Does that make you
angry with me?
426
00:18:27,765 --> 00:18:29,883
What? No, no, no.
427
00:18:29,951 --> 00:18:31,118
Are you sure?
428
00:18:31,185 --> 00:18:32,570
Yeah, no. I'm... I'm sure.
429
00:18:32,637 --> 00:18:35,006
Really? Because your neck
is starting to perspire.
430
00:18:35,073 --> 00:18:37,158
Look, I'm not angry!
Leave me alone!
431
00:18:40,147 --> 00:18:42,314
I said, leave me alone!
432
00:18:42,382 --> 00:18:45,185
Hey, Mr. mazzio told us
to clean the erasers.
433
00:18:45,253 --> 00:18:46,486
That's all I'm doing.
434
00:18:48,890 --> 00:18:50,057
Cut it out!
435
00:18:50,125 --> 00:18:51,609
What's the matter, Heffernan?
436
00:18:51,677 --> 00:18:53,345
You're afraid of someone
smaller than you?
437
00:18:53,380 --> 00:18:55,914
You could kick my ass if you
weren't such a chicken.
438
00:18:55,982 --> 00:18:58,901
I don't want any trouble.
439
00:18:58,969 --> 00:19:01,220
Why am I taking crap
from that little runt?
440
00:19:01,288 --> 00:19:03,541
I don't know, maybe
you are a chicken.
441
00:19:03,608 --> 00:19:04,675
What?
442
00:19:04,742 --> 00:19:06,410
Hey, punch him in the face.
443
00:19:06,478 --> 00:19:08,012
I don't wanna! You punch him!
444
00:19:08,079 --> 00:19:10,315
I'm not punchin' him. Get in
there and punch him in the face!
445
00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:11,716
No!
446
00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:14,654
Is that who you grew up to be?
An I.P.S. Driver?
447
00:19:14,721 --> 00:19:17,089
Loser!
448
00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:19,459
Ok, you know what? That's it.
Get in there and fight him.
449
00:19:19,527 --> 00:19:20,894
Quit shoving me!
450
00:19:20,962 --> 00:19:22,863
Oh, jeez!
451
00:19:44,324 --> 00:19:45,658
What a freak show, huh?
452
00:19:52,934 --> 00:19:54,535
I don't judge.
453
00:19:56,371 --> 00:19:58,489
Wait!
454
00:19:58,556 --> 00:20:00,358
That's it. I... I
finally figured it out.
455
00:20:00,426 --> 00:20:01,893
I do have anger,
456
00:20:01,961 --> 00:20:04,062
but I don't like confrontation
with other people,
457
00:20:04,130 --> 00:20:05,865
so I take it all out on myself!
458
00:20:07,267 --> 00:20:09,102
Knock it off!
459
00:20:09,169 --> 00:20:10,437
Sorry.
460
00:20:15,595 --> 00:20:17,795
So it turns out, by avoiding
all the confrontation
461
00:20:17,863 --> 00:20:19,347
that's been going
on around here,
462
00:20:19,416 --> 00:20:20,849
I actually caused the 2 of you
463
00:20:20,917 --> 00:20:23,269
to have more conflict
with each other.
464
00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:24,571
So... so... so really,
465
00:20:24,639 --> 00:20:26,406
it's my problem at the
root of all this.
466
00:20:26,474 --> 00:20:29,159
Oh, please! If you 2 are happy
with the new situation,
467
00:20:29,226 --> 00:20:31,279
then clearly, I'm the
one with the problem.
468
00:20:31,346 --> 00:20:33,080
Who says I'm happy?
469
00:20:33,148 --> 00:20:34,198
I thought you were.
470
00:20:34,266 --> 00:20:35,334
Are you kidding?
471
00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:36,768
Being agreed with and validated?
472
00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:38,303
I don't know who I am anymore!
473
00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:40,406
I'm suicidal!
474
00:20:40,474 --> 00:20:43,076
But, dad, if we go back
to the way things were,
475
00:20:43,143 --> 00:20:44,510
then you and I will feel better,
476
00:20:44,578 --> 00:20:46,313
but then Doug will
be unhappy again.
477
00:20:46,381 --> 00:20:48,682
We can't have that.
He's a good man.
478
00:20:48,750 --> 00:20:50,418
But, Arthur, I don't
want to stay happy
479
00:20:50,486 --> 00:20:51,753
if the 2 of you are unhappy.
480
00:20:51,821 --> 00:20:54,789
You're right. That
would be very unfair.
481
00:20:54,857 --> 00:20:57,343
All right, so what we're
dealing with here is,
482
00:20:57,411 --> 00:21:00,898
basically, only 2 of us can
be happy at the same time.
483
00:21:01,632 --> 00:21:03,667
What do we do?
484
00:21:03,734 --> 00:21:05,086
So they're gonna keep fighting,
485
00:21:05,154 --> 00:21:08,423
and I'm gonna come for
therapy once a week.
486
00:21:08,491 --> 00:21:10,392
How's Thursdays at 6:00?
487
00:21:10,460 --> 00:21:12,328
It's perfect.
488
00:21:12,395 --> 00:21:14,363
I'd also like to write
you a prescription.
489
00:21:14,431 --> 00:21:16,399
That'd be great. Thanks.
490
00:21:22,674 --> 00:21:23,658
So why do you think
491
00:21:23,725 --> 00:21:26,695
food has become such an
important factor in your life?
492
00:21:26,763 --> 00:21:29,815
Gee, I don't know.
That's a good one.
493
00:21:29,883 --> 00:21:34,203
I guess, 'cause, you know,
food doesn't call you names
494
00:21:34,271 --> 00:21:36,406
or say you're stupid.
495
00:21:36,474 --> 00:21:38,091
It's always good.
496
00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:41,096
Yes. Thank you.
497
00:21:41,163 --> 00:21:44,532
Sometimes I feel like food
is the only friend I have.
498
00:21:46,637 --> 00:21:48,120
Hey. Come here.
499
00:21:48,188 --> 00:21:50,089
Get off me, lard ass!
500
00:21:52,143 --> 00:21:54,461
You are so dead
after this session.
35435
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
