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1
00:00:13,497 --> 00:00:15,165
Season's greetings!
2
00:00:15,167 --> 00:00:16,366
Hey.
3
00:00:17,501 --> 00:00:20,470
Oh, God. The reindeer sweater?
4
00:00:20,472 --> 00:00:21,771
That's right.
5
00:00:21,773 --> 00:00:24,841
Look at it. Don't look away.
6
00:00:24,843 --> 00:00:27,577
I can't help it.
It frightens me.
7
00:00:27,579 --> 00:00:29,579
Hey, come on. I've had
it since the 11th grade.
8
00:00:29,581 --> 00:00:30,580
What's wrong with it?
9
00:00:30,582 --> 00:00:33,049
Have you looked in a mirror?
10
00:00:33,051 --> 00:00:34,650
It's okay. I know the
rules, all right?
11
00:00:34,652 --> 00:00:36,453
Don't wear it out of the house,
12
00:00:36,455 --> 00:00:38,288
don't wear it to any
holiday parties,
13
00:00:38,290 --> 00:00:42,558
and if anybody comes over,
I have to run upstairs.
14
00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:44,760
What's that on the
back of your arm?
15
00:00:44,762 --> 00:00:45,928
Hmm?
16
00:00:47,064 --> 00:00:50,700
Oh, what do you know?
17
00:00:50,702 --> 00:00:52,535
Candy cane.
18
00:00:52,537 --> 00:00:55,605
A little gift from
some Christmas past.
19
00:00:57,008 --> 00:00:59,575
You're not actually gonna
eat that, are you?
20
00:00:59,577 --> 00:01:01,644
Have I made a decision? No.
21
00:01:01,646 --> 00:01:03,480
Am I intrigued?
22
00:01:03,482 --> 00:01:05,748
Certainly.
23
00:01:05,750 --> 00:01:06,916
Give me that.
24
00:01:09,387 --> 00:01:10,786
That's all right.
25
00:01:10,788 --> 00:01:12,155
There might be others.
26
00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:01,462
I can't believe this.
27
00:02:01,464 --> 00:02:03,364
Can't believe what?
What happened?
28
00:02:03,366 --> 00:02:05,900
Those fancy-shmancy
neighbors across the street
29
00:02:05,902 --> 00:02:07,468
are what happened!
30
00:02:07,470 --> 00:02:09,270
I'm so angry I could spit!
31
00:02:09,272 --> 00:02:12,340
Okay, mission accomplished.
32
00:02:12,342 --> 00:02:14,708
Dad, now just calm down and
tell me what happened.
33
00:02:14,710 --> 00:02:17,211
I put a wreath on our
front door last night,
34
00:02:17,213 --> 00:02:19,947
and now I come home to find
one twice the size of ours
35
00:02:19,949 --> 00:02:21,916
hanging on the Rinaldis' door.
36
00:02:21,918 --> 00:02:23,050
So?
37
00:02:23,052 --> 00:02:24,518
So? It's a snub!
38
00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,888
It's their way of saying,
"look at us, world,
39
00:02:26,890 --> 00:02:30,524
we're richer than those
schnooks across the street!"
40
00:02:30,526 --> 00:02:33,694
How dare they flaunt
their wealth at us. Ugh!
41
00:02:35,898 --> 00:02:38,866
Wealth? Dad, Mr.
Rinaldi drives a cab,
42
00:02:38,868 --> 00:02:40,301
and his wife works
for Easter Seals.
43
00:02:40,303 --> 00:02:42,236
Yeah, and they're
gonna make sure
44
00:02:42,238 --> 00:02:44,338
everyone in the
neighborhood knows it.
45
00:02:44,340 --> 00:02:46,473
Well, honey, the Rinaldis
are about to look directly
46
00:02:46,475 --> 00:02:48,475
into the mouth of hell!
47
00:02:48,477 --> 00:02:51,545
Dad, dad, can't you just take
a white pill and a blue pill
48
00:02:51,547 --> 00:02:53,281
and leave this alone?
49
00:02:53,283 --> 00:02:55,216
Oh, I will take those pills,
50
00:02:55,218 --> 00:02:56,918
but I will not leave this alone.
51
00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:02,790
Hey. Hey.
52
00:03:02,792 --> 00:03:05,793
Want to help me
wrap a little bit?
53
00:03:05,795 --> 00:03:07,661
Uh, sure. But, uh...
54
00:03:07,663 --> 00:03:09,897
I think we need to have
a little talk first.
55
00:03:09,899 --> 00:03:12,566
What? What happened?
Is everything okay?
56
00:03:12,568 --> 00:03:14,402
Oh, it's just that today, uh,
57
00:03:14,404 --> 00:03:16,470
at work, out of the blue,
58
00:03:16,472 --> 00:03:19,740
I get called into supervisor
O'Boyle's office and, uh...
59
00:03:19,742 --> 00:03:21,542
And... and what?
60
00:03:21,544 --> 00:03:23,010
Uh, he just handed me
61
00:03:23,012 --> 00:03:25,813
this $3,000 Christmas bonus!
62
00:03:27,382 --> 00:03:30,884
$3,000! I can't believe it!
63
00:03:30,886 --> 00:03:32,119
See what I did there?
64
00:03:32,121 --> 00:03:34,655
I made you think it was bad,
when actually it was good.
65
00:03:34,657 --> 00:03:35,756
Yeah, you're a comedic genius.
66
00:03:35,758 --> 00:03:38,225
Let me see this. Ohh!
67
00:03:38,227 --> 00:03:40,661
Holy crap! 3,000 bucks!
68
00:03:40,663 --> 00:03:42,997
And all I got was a
donation made in my name
69
00:03:42,999 --> 00:03:44,932
to some disease charity.
70
00:03:44,934 --> 00:03:46,968
Yeah, thank ya!
71
00:03:46,970 --> 00:03:48,769
So what do you want
to do with it?
72
00:03:48,771 --> 00:03:51,339
Well, I'm thinking, and go
with me here... Ahem...
73
00:03:51,341 --> 00:03:52,673
Double-D breast implants.
74
00:03:58,380 --> 00:04:02,049
Why? The ones you have now
are so cute and perky.
75
00:04:04,819 --> 00:04:07,054
Way to turn it around on me.
76
00:04:07,056 --> 00:04:09,256
No, I'm serious. What do
you want to do with it?
77
00:04:09,258 --> 00:04:11,859
I don't know. I guess we should
throw it in the bank quick
78
00:04:11,861 --> 00:04:13,927
before they realize what a
mediocre employee I really am.
79
00:04:13,929 --> 00:04:16,230
Really? Put it in the bank?
80
00:04:16,232 --> 00:04:18,665
Why, you got another idea? Hmm?
81
00:04:18,667 --> 00:04:20,234
Solid gold bathtub?
82
00:04:20,236 --> 00:04:22,436
Should we have our teeth drilled
and little rubies put in?
83
00:04:22,438 --> 00:04:23,637
Hey, what's up?
84
00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:29,776
No. I was thinking that all
these lawyers at my firm
85
00:04:29,778 --> 00:04:31,979
have been investing in all
these internet stocks,
86
00:04:31,981 --> 00:04:34,748
and they have been making
some stupid money.
87
00:04:34,750 --> 00:04:36,550
You wanna put the money
in the stock market?
88
00:04:36,552 --> 00:04:38,619
Doug, these web
stocks are exploding.
89
00:04:38,621 --> 00:04:41,255
You remember that lawyer
from my firm, Harry Sternin?
90
00:04:41,257 --> 00:04:42,923
No.
91
00:04:42,925 --> 00:04:45,859
The one you said looks
like a fat Phil Collins?
92
00:04:45,861 --> 00:04:47,328
Oh, yeah.
93
00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:50,331
Anyway, he, he bought this stock
called Shominy dot something,
94
00:04:50,333 --> 00:04:54,402
and he tripled his money
in the last 4 days.
95
00:04:54,404 --> 00:04:56,170
"Shominy"? What do they even do?
96
00:04:56,172 --> 00:04:58,939
I don't know. They make shominies.
Who, who cares?
97
00:04:58,941 --> 00:05:00,541
The point is...
98
00:05:00,543 --> 00:05:04,178
the stock was at $2 on
Monday and now it's at 6!
99
00:05:04,180 --> 00:05:05,579
What do you think?
100
00:05:05,581 --> 00:05:08,582
I don't know. I kind of like
my "put it in the bank" idea.
101
00:05:08,584 --> 00:05:11,552
Come on, Dougie, the gravy
train is pulling out.
102
00:05:11,554 --> 00:05:13,820
Why can't we jump
on the gravy train?
103
00:05:13,822 --> 00:05:15,456
Because sometimes
gravy trains derail.
104
00:05:15,458 --> 00:05:18,792
Then there's blood and
gravy everywhere.
105
00:05:18,794 --> 00:05:21,228
All right, whatever. I tried.
106
00:05:24,166 --> 00:05:25,699
Put it back!
107
00:06:00,969 --> 00:06:02,436
CARRIE: Doug! Doug, come here!
108
00:06:02,438 --> 00:06:03,737
What?
109
00:06:03,739 --> 00:06:04,972
Advanced digital
business to business
110
00:06:04,974 --> 00:06:07,674
e-commerce networking solutions.
111
00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:11,579
Shominy.com. You wanted
to know what they did,
112
00:06:11,581 --> 00:06:13,447
so I looked it up. Now you know.
113
00:06:13,449 --> 00:06:14,915
Thanks. I'll be in the shower.
114
00:06:14,917 --> 00:06:15,916
Doug, come on!
115
00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:17,684
This is a great stock.
116
00:06:17,686 --> 00:06:19,553
Four analysts made
it their top pick.
117
00:06:19,555 --> 00:06:21,855
Come on, Carrie. All this
stuff is just so risky.
118
00:06:21,857 --> 00:06:23,957
So you take a risk
once in a while.
119
00:06:23,959 --> 00:06:25,559
Why do I have to take a risk?
120
00:06:25,561 --> 00:06:27,561
Look, honey, if we put
the money in the bank,
121
00:06:27,563 --> 00:06:29,296
it'll grow in little
dribs and drabs,
122
00:06:29,298 --> 00:06:31,898
but if we buy the stock, we...
we have a chance
123
00:06:31,900 --> 00:06:33,167
to finally make some real money.
124
00:06:33,169 --> 00:06:36,970
We... we can go
someplace, like Europe.
125
00:06:36,972 --> 00:06:38,472
What's in Europe?
126
00:06:38,474 --> 00:06:42,309
We don't have to go there.
We can go anywhere.
127
00:06:42,311 --> 00:06:44,645
Busch Gardens?
128
00:06:44,647 --> 00:06:46,713
We can go to Busch
Gardens anytime.
129
00:06:46,715 --> 00:06:47,848
Want to go this weekend?
130
00:06:47,850 --> 00:06:51,918
Okay. You are really
missing the point.
131
00:06:53,155 --> 00:06:55,589
Look, honey, I am
happy with our life.
132
00:06:55,591 --> 00:06:56,923
I really am.
133
00:06:56,925 --> 00:07:01,228
We love each other, we have
good friends, good jobs.
134
00:07:01,230 --> 00:07:03,997
Now if we just had all
that plus, you know...
135
00:07:03,999 --> 00:07:06,233
money...
136
00:07:06,235 --> 00:07:09,170
better yet, huh?
137
00:07:09,172 --> 00:07:10,837
You really want to do this, huh?
138
00:07:10,839 --> 00:07:11,938
Yes.
139
00:07:11,940 --> 00:07:15,108
All right, I'm your guy.
I'm in. Yay! Muah.
140
00:07:22,584 --> 00:07:23,584
Oh, here you are.
141
00:07:23,586 --> 00:07:24,585
Yes, here I am.
142
00:07:24,587 --> 00:07:25,919
How you doing? Good.
143
00:07:31,426 --> 00:07:34,828
What'd you do?
What's the matter?
144
00:07:34,830 --> 00:07:38,666
Nothing, just feel like
getting a little action.
145
00:07:38,668 --> 00:07:40,100
Before dinner?
146
00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:44,572
Are you drinking?
147
00:07:44,574 --> 00:07:48,175
No, but maybe these stock
reports I'm holding
148
00:07:48,177 --> 00:07:50,977
might have something
to do with it.
149
00:07:50,979 --> 00:07:53,980
Dougie, shominy.com
just doubled today!
150
00:07:53,982 --> 00:07:55,015
No! Yes.
151
00:07:55,017 --> 00:07:56,783
No! Yes.
152
00:07:56,785 --> 00:07:57,784
No!
153
00:07:57,786 --> 00:07:58,785
Yes!
154
00:07:58,787 --> 00:08:00,487
Let me see! Let me see!
155
00:08:00,489 --> 00:08:03,790
Oh, sweet Shominy!
156
00:08:03,792 --> 00:08:05,426
Six grand! Six grand!
157
00:08:05,428 --> 00:08:07,428
I know. I wish we had
the cash right now.
158
00:08:07,430 --> 00:08:09,830
We could throw it on the
bed and have sex on it.
159
00:08:09,832 --> 00:08:11,232
Wanna do it on the stock report?
160
00:08:11,234 --> 00:08:13,567
No. I think it has to
be money, don't you?
161
00:08:13,569 --> 00:08:16,370
Uh, don't go by me. I'd have
sex with you on an angry bear.
162
00:08:24,212 --> 00:08:26,079
Hello, lovey!
163
00:08:27,482 --> 00:08:28,716
Oh, hey.
164
00:08:28,718 --> 00:08:30,050
What you... What you doing'?
165
00:08:30,052 --> 00:08:32,620
Oh, nothing. Just
surfing the web.
166
00:08:32,622 --> 00:08:34,655
Why is your voice so high?
167
00:08:34,657 --> 00:08:36,690
Psh, it's not!
168
00:08:36,692 --> 00:08:38,592
What's going on?
169
00:08:38,594 --> 00:08:40,294
The stock is down a little.
170
00:08:40,296 --> 00:08:41,795
Little? What's a little?
171
00:08:41,797 --> 00:08:44,265
All right, before I tell you,
you have to agree not to panic.
172
00:08:44,267 --> 00:08:45,899
Okay, by saying that,
you make me panic.
173
00:08:45,901 --> 00:08:48,636
Now tell me quickly before
I pass out from fear.
174
00:08:48,638 --> 00:08:50,537
Okay, it's at four.
175
00:08:50,539 --> 00:08:53,840
Carrie, no! We bought it at six!
We bought it at six!
176
00:08:53,842 --> 00:08:54,841
I know.
177
00:08:54,843 --> 00:08:56,076
But four is less than six.
178
00:08:56,078 --> 00:08:59,079
I know! I went to first grade.
Now just calm down.
179
00:08:59,081 --> 00:09:01,214
I can't calm down, Carrie.
It's at four!
180
00:09:01,216 --> 00:09:03,450
Look, Harry Sternin said
that, that, that it's normal
181
00:09:03,452 --> 00:09:05,018
for the stock to dip a little.
182
00:09:05,020 --> 00:09:07,220
Well, you know what?
Then marry him!
183
00:09:07,222 --> 00:09:10,591
I got to think, I got to think,
I got to think, I got to think!
184
00:09:12,294 --> 00:09:14,261
What do we do?
185
00:09:14,263 --> 00:09:16,963
We hold onto the stock.
It'll come back up.
186
00:09:16,965 --> 00:09:18,165
You think so?
187
00:09:18,167 --> 00:09:20,668
It has to. Now,
look, get a grip!
188
00:09:20,670 --> 00:09:23,504
Remember, we are
long-term investors.
189
00:09:23,506 --> 00:09:27,274
We're in this for
three to four weeks.
190
00:09:27,276 --> 00:09:31,679
All right, now just calm down
and we'll ride it out, okay?
191
00:09:31,681 --> 00:09:33,347
Okay.
192
00:09:54,069 --> 00:09:55,803
What are you doing?
193
00:09:55,805 --> 00:09:57,604
I want to see where
the stock is at.
194
00:09:57,606 --> 00:09:58,639
Here, help me get online.
195
00:09:58,641 --> 00:10:01,141
No, no, sweetie.
196
00:10:01,143 --> 00:10:05,212
You can't watch it every minute.
You'll drive yourself crazy.
197
00:10:05,214 --> 00:10:07,180
I don't care. I wanna
know where it's at.
198
00:10:07,182 --> 00:10:09,350
Fine. Do it yourself.
No, I need your help.
199
00:10:09,352 --> 00:10:11,552
I'm stuck in solitaire.
200
00:10:15,657 --> 00:10:18,325
Okay, one look and that's it.
201
00:10:18,327 --> 00:10:20,594
One's fine. One, one's great.
202
00:10:20,596 --> 00:10:23,397
Okay, you're signed on.
203
00:10:23,399 --> 00:10:24,698
It'll just take a second.
204
00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:32,773
Hi.
205
00:10:32,775 --> 00:10:35,743
Hello.
206
00:10:35,745 --> 00:10:37,344
Okay, we're in.
207
00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:41,448
Now we just type in
the symbol and...
208
00:10:41,450 --> 00:10:42,583
Oh!
209
00:10:42,585 --> 00:10:44,651
Oh? What, what's oh?
Where you looking?
210
00:10:44,653 --> 00:10:46,086
It says, uh...
211
00:10:46,088 --> 00:10:47,254
it's at three.
212
00:10:48,623 --> 00:10:50,023
Three?! Oh, my God!
It's at three?!
213
00:10:50,025 --> 00:10:51,224
Come on, let's sell.
Let's sell...
214
00:10:51,226 --> 00:10:52,626
No, no, no. Look,
look, look here.
215
00:10:52,628 --> 00:10:55,028
It says the dip in the stock
was because the FTC approval
216
00:10:55,030 --> 00:10:56,830
of their technology was delayed.
217
00:10:56,832 --> 00:10:59,032
Of course it was delayed,
because no one can figure out
218
00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:01,568
what the hell they make!
219
00:11:01,570 --> 00:11:04,772
They, they make advanced commerce...
something!
220
00:11:04,774 --> 00:11:06,139
Whatever it is, it's good.
221
00:11:06,141 --> 00:11:08,742
Oh, yeah? Can I buy one? Where do I go?
Where? Waldbaum's, huh?
222
00:11:08,744 --> 00:11:11,978
Sam Goody? Has Goody got it?!
223
00:11:11,980 --> 00:11:13,380
Okay, Doug, could
you just calm down,
224
00:11:13,382 --> 00:11:15,382
because you're
starting to panic me.
225
00:11:15,384 --> 00:11:16,583
Yeah, because you
know I'm right.
226
00:11:16,585 --> 00:11:18,585
Oh, my God! We're gonna
lose the whole three grand!
227
00:11:18,587 --> 00:11:19,986
It's going to go down to zero!
228
00:11:19,988 --> 00:11:20,987
Oh, God! Dry heaves.
229
00:11:20,989 --> 00:11:22,355
Ewww!
230
00:11:25,627 --> 00:11:27,394
Carrie, look, I am begging you.
231
00:11:27,396 --> 00:11:29,296
Please, let's just sell, okay?
232
00:11:29,298 --> 00:11:31,698
Let's sell while we still have
enough to go to Busch Gardens.
233
00:11:31,700 --> 00:11:32,800
Doug, I don't know.
234
00:11:32,802 --> 00:11:34,468
I mean, Harry's not selling.
235
00:11:34,470 --> 00:11:35,602
Harry's a millionaire,
all right?
236
00:11:35,604 --> 00:11:37,103
He buys and sells
people for sport.
237
00:11:37,105 --> 00:11:38,772
He'd kill you as
soon as look at you.
238
00:11:40,341 --> 00:11:41,975
Look...
239
00:11:41,977 --> 00:11:44,077
Carrie, I'm not wired
for this kind of stuff.
240
00:11:44,079 --> 00:11:46,647
You know, I'm
jittery, I'm nervous.
241
00:11:46,649 --> 00:11:49,416
Look, my eye is twitching.
Look, you see it?
242
00:11:49,418 --> 00:11:50,784
No.
243
00:11:50,786 --> 00:11:53,086
Well, it's not now, but it was.
244
00:11:53,088 --> 00:11:54,555
We got to sell. Come on!
245
00:11:54,557 --> 00:11:56,723
I don't care if it goes
up to 100 tomorrow.
246
00:11:56,725 --> 00:11:59,927
Let's just get out of
it and be done with it.
247
00:11:59,929 --> 00:12:01,929
Fine! If it's gonna
make you this crazy,
248
00:12:01,931 --> 00:12:03,430
then we'll sell it.
249
00:12:03,432 --> 00:12:05,298
Good.
250
00:12:05,300 --> 00:12:08,502
Thank you.
251
00:12:08,504 --> 00:12:11,304
Can't tell you how good it feels
to be done with this madness.
252
00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:19,145
It's back up. Hmm?
253
00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:46,882
Oh, darling, just in time.
254
00:12:46,884 --> 00:12:49,785
What are you, having a party?
255
00:12:49,787 --> 00:12:50,786
No, no.
256
00:12:50,788 --> 00:12:52,187
I'm getting into the
Christmas spirit
257
00:12:52,189 --> 00:12:54,123
and putting together
an outdoor display
258
00:12:54,125 --> 00:12:58,894
that will make the Rinaldis
feel poor and ashamed.
259
00:12:58,896 --> 00:13:00,595
So what do you think?
260
00:13:00,597 --> 00:13:01,930
What is it?
261
00:13:01,932 --> 00:13:04,066
It's a nativity scene.
262
00:13:04,068 --> 00:13:05,934
Not so much.
263
00:13:05,936 --> 00:13:06,935
Sure, it is.
264
00:13:06,937 --> 00:13:08,370
You got your wise men here.
265
00:13:08,372 --> 00:13:11,774
There's Joseph, Mary,
and the baby Jesus.
266
00:13:11,776 --> 00:13:15,077
He's huge!
267
00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:17,780
So?
268
00:13:17,782 --> 00:13:19,281
So he looks like he could crush
269
00:13:19,283 --> 00:13:21,449
all the wise men to death.
270
00:13:21,451 --> 00:13:24,419
But he wouldn't do that.
He's gentle.
271
00:13:24,421 --> 00:13:26,488
He's baby Jesus.
272
00:13:28,491 --> 00:13:30,358
And what about the,
uh, wooden Indian?
273
00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:31,426
Who's he supposed to be?
274
00:13:31,428 --> 00:13:34,462
No one. I just like it.
275
00:13:34,464 --> 00:13:36,231
And who's to say
he wasn't there?
276
00:13:38,668 --> 00:13:41,737
Dad, I love you so much.
277
00:13:41,739 --> 00:13:46,175
But there's no way in hell this
is going in front of our house.
278
00:13:46,177 --> 00:13:48,610
TV ANCHORWOMAN: And it was the
fourth record day in a row
279
00:13:48,612 --> 00:13:51,046
for the Nasdaqas tech stocks
continue to fire the market.
280
00:13:51,048 --> 00:13:54,016
Leading the charge is
new issue shominy.com,
281
00:13:54,018 --> 00:13:57,753
up over 200% on news that
it received FTC approval
282
00:13:57,755 --> 00:13:59,722
of its highly anticipated
advanced digital
283
00:13:59,724 --> 00:14:01,190
business to business e-commerce
284
00:14:01,192 --> 00:14:03,391
networking solution technology.
285
00:14:07,563 --> 00:14:08,563
Approval.
286
00:14:08,565 --> 00:14:10,199
They got approval.
287
00:14:10,201 --> 00:14:12,634
Good for them.
288
00:14:12,636 --> 00:14:13,902
Yes...
289
00:14:13,904 --> 00:14:15,771
good for them.
290
00:14:22,979 --> 00:14:25,347
You're hating me right
now, aren't you?
291
00:14:25,349 --> 00:14:26,882
Nooo!
292
00:14:29,052 --> 00:14:31,086
Yes, you are. Come on,
you can say it, huh?
293
00:14:31,088 --> 00:14:33,956
"Chunky made us sell.
Chunky cost us money."
294
00:14:33,958 --> 00:14:35,423
That's what you're thinking.
295
00:14:35,425 --> 00:14:37,226
That is not what I'm thinking.
296
00:14:37,228 --> 00:14:38,627
You have to be
thinking that, Carrie.
297
00:14:38,629 --> 00:14:42,064
If it wasn't for me, we'd be
up like, like $4,000 bucks.
298
00:14:42,066 --> 00:14:43,866
Closer to five.
299
00:14:43,868 --> 00:14:46,235
But it is not your fault.
300
00:14:46,237 --> 00:14:50,538
I'm the one who let your
non-stop bitching and whimpering
301
00:14:50,540 --> 00:14:52,340
wear me down.
302
00:14:52,342 --> 00:14:54,243
And for that, I am
very, very sorry.
303
00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:58,713
So we're cool? Oy.
304
00:14:58,715 --> 00:15:00,849
I'm sorry, all right?
I feel guilty.
305
00:15:00,851 --> 00:15:03,051
You know, I acted
like a little...
306
00:15:03,053 --> 00:15:05,620
sissy investor girl.
307
00:15:05,622 --> 00:15:07,022
Here, make this part of my body.
308
00:15:07,024 --> 00:15:10,058
Just make it part of my body.
309
00:15:10,060 --> 00:15:11,927
Doug, would you just forget it?
Come on!
310
00:15:11,929 --> 00:15:14,362
We sold the stock.
It's over with.
311
00:15:14,364 --> 00:15:17,666
Could we just get
on with our lives?
312
00:15:17,668 --> 00:15:20,102
Okay?
313
00:15:20,104 --> 00:15:21,804
Okay. Okay.
314
00:15:27,977 --> 00:15:30,612
Let's buy back in.
315
00:15:30,614 --> 00:15:31,613
What?
316
00:15:31,615 --> 00:15:33,248
Come on. It's on
its way back up.
317
00:15:33,250 --> 00:15:36,185
Okay. That settles it.
You need lithium.
318
00:15:36,187 --> 00:15:37,986
No. Think about it. We
only sold because we...
319
00:15:37,988 --> 00:15:40,322
We didn't have any
approval, you know?
320
00:15:40,324 --> 00:15:42,124
Now we have something
to sink our teeth into.
321
00:15:42,126 --> 00:15:43,826
We got the grr-grr,
the approval.
322
00:15:48,264 --> 00:15:51,266
God, Doug, you are
driving me crazy!
323
00:15:51,268 --> 00:15:53,068
But the stock is so high now!
324
00:15:53,070 --> 00:15:54,436
High and only going higher.
325
00:15:54,438 --> 00:15:57,206
I know it, Carrie. I feel it, I swear.
It's a gut feeling.
326
00:15:57,208 --> 00:15:58,640
This does not lie.
327
00:16:02,178 --> 00:16:03,578
All right, we buy back in.
328
00:16:03,580 --> 00:16:06,514
B-b-but this time,
we buy the stock
329
00:16:06,516 --> 00:16:11,353
and we leave it alone for
one full week, okay?
330
00:16:11,355 --> 00:16:13,856
We do not obsess,
we do not panic.
331
00:16:13,858 --> 00:16:16,291
We just go on with our
lives and let the stock do
332
00:16:16,293 --> 00:16:17,492
whatever it's gonna do.
333
00:16:17,494 --> 00:16:19,061
Hey! What stock?
334
00:16:23,766 --> 00:16:25,300
It's all right there.
335
00:16:25,302 --> 00:16:28,036
Take your time crossing.
336
00:16:28,038 --> 00:16:30,138
And have a nice day.
337
00:16:32,508 --> 00:16:34,642
Yeah, there's a new invention.
It's called a turn signal.
338
00:16:34,644 --> 00:16:36,511
Why don't you use it, you moron?
339
00:16:37,914 --> 00:16:40,182
Hey, got enough dogs there, guy?
340
00:16:40,184 --> 00:16:43,485
That's crazy walking
all those dogs.
341
00:16:43,487 --> 00:16:45,888
♪ Go on, now go
342
00:16:45,890 --> 00:16:47,689
♪ Walk out the door
343
00:16:47,691 --> 00:16:49,324
♪ Just turn around now
344
00:16:49,326 --> 00:16:52,727
Those wheels are on your
chair for a reason...
345
00:16:52,729 --> 00:16:54,796
use them!
346
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:13,481
BOB CRATCHETT: We've never had any
quarrel that I've ever been party to.
347
00:17:13,483 --> 00:17:15,483
I ask nothing of you.
348
00:17:15,485 --> 00:17:17,485
I came here in the spirit
of bright good will
349
00:17:17,487 --> 00:17:19,054
and I won't let you dampen it.
350
00:17:19,056 --> 00:17:22,590
So a merry Christmas to you anyway, uncle.
Good evening.
351
00:17:22,592 --> 00:17:25,093
SCROOGE: Humbug!
352
00:17:25,095 --> 00:17:26,929
Okay, why are you doing that?
353
00:17:26,931 --> 00:17:27,930
What?
354
00:17:27,932 --> 00:17:29,097
Mouthing.
355
00:17:29,099 --> 00:17:30,765
What are you talking about?
356
00:17:30,767 --> 00:17:34,102
You're mouthing
along to the movie.
357
00:17:34,104 --> 00:17:36,771
So? I've seen the movie 100 times.
I know all the words.
358
00:17:36,773 --> 00:17:38,573
I understand that.
359
00:17:38,575 --> 00:17:41,243
But it's annoying.
360
00:17:41,245 --> 00:17:43,878
So then don't watch me.
361
00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:46,481
I wasn't watching you, okay?
362
00:17:46,483 --> 00:17:48,550
But I can see it in
my periphinal vision
363
00:17:48,552 --> 00:17:52,587
and it's distracting.
364
00:17:52,589 --> 00:17:55,290
It's peripheral.
365
00:17:55,292 --> 00:17:56,691
What did I say?
366
00:17:56,693 --> 00:17:59,761
You said, "periphinal."
367
00:17:59,763 --> 00:18:01,263
No, I didn't.
368
00:18:01,265 --> 00:18:03,731
Okay, fine, you didn't. Can
I watch the movie now?
369
00:18:03,733 --> 00:18:05,733
Oh, go ahead.
370
00:18:05,735 --> 00:18:07,535
SCROOGE: a poor excuse for
picking a man's pocket
371
00:18:07,537 --> 00:18:08,770
every 25th of December.
372
00:18:08,772 --> 00:18:10,973
I said "peripheral."
373
00:18:10,975 --> 00:18:13,208
CRATCHETT: It's the
family more than me.
374
00:18:13,210 --> 00:18:14,709
See, they put their
hearts into it.
375
00:18:14,711 --> 00:18:16,044
For God sakes, wash your feet.
376
00:18:16,046 --> 00:18:18,613
They stink!
377
00:18:18,615 --> 00:18:22,784
Okay, it's not my feet.
It's my socks.
378
00:18:22,786 --> 00:18:25,320
Well, burn them.
379
00:18:25,322 --> 00:18:27,122
Funny, you didn't have
a problem with my feet
380
00:18:27,124 --> 00:18:28,323
when the stock was at 12.
381
00:18:28,325 --> 00:18:30,225
Okay, here we go.
382
00:18:30,227 --> 00:18:32,760
Look, stinky, you're the one
who begged me to buy back in
383
00:18:32,762 --> 00:18:36,331
just in time to
ride the plummet.
384
00:18:36,333 --> 00:18:41,336
They got the approval!
385
00:18:41,338 --> 00:18:44,739
Right. The approval. I could
sink my teeth into the approval.
386
00:18:44,741 --> 00:18:48,276
You know what? Why don't you
sink your teeth into my ass?
387
00:18:48,278 --> 00:18:50,379
That's nice. That's nice.
That's very ladylike.
388
00:18:50,381 --> 00:18:53,148
What a delicate little
flower I married, hm?
389
00:18:54,950 --> 00:18:57,185
Well, Doug, at least I
know not to buy high
390
00:18:57,187 --> 00:18:59,921
and sell low, okay?
So here's a tip.
391
00:18:59,923 --> 00:19:01,923
Why don't you buy
yourself some instinct?
392
00:19:01,925 --> 00:19:03,525
You know what? That's
a real good idea.
393
00:19:03,527 --> 00:19:04,893
I'll go down to the bank
394
00:19:04,895 --> 00:19:07,095
and I'll take out a little
bit of my Christmas bonus...
395
00:19:07,097 --> 00:19:11,733
Oops, it never made it there!
396
00:19:11,735 --> 00:19:12,901
You know what?
397
00:19:12,903 --> 00:19:16,038
You could pin this on me
if you want to, Doug,
398
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:18,540
but remember, you're
the one who sold,
399
00:19:18,542 --> 00:19:19,841
you're the one who panicked.
400
00:19:19,843 --> 00:19:20,842
Oh, here it comes.
401
00:19:20,844 --> 00:19:22,310
Okay, go ahead, say it, say it.
402
00:19:22,312 --> 00:19:25,080
"Chunky cost us money." Come on.
Come on, say it.
403
00:19:25,082 --> 00:19:26,081
It doesn't matter.
404
00:19:26,083 --> 00:19:28,116
Well, Chunky did cost us money.
405
00:19:28,118 --> 00:19:32,787
I can't believe you
just called me Chunky.
406
00:19:32,789 --> 00:19:35,857
Hey, kids, come here. I
want to show you something.
407
00:19:35,859 --> 00:19:37,959
Okay.
408
00:19:37,961 --> 00:19:39,861
Come on, double-time.
409
00:19:39,863 --> 00:19:41,629
Come on, let's go. Quick.
Quick, quick.
410
00:19:43,466 --> 00:19:45,100
I, uh, scrapped all
the other junk
411
00:19:45,102 --> 00:19:47,302
and I went out and I got this.
412
00:19:47,304 --> 00:19:48,503
ARTHUR: So what do you think?
413
00:19:55,038 --> 00:19:55,910
You know, I shouldn't
have told you
414
00:19:55,912 --> 00:19:58,713
about my Christmas bonus in
the first place. That's it.
415
00:19:58,715 --> 00:20:01,116
Oh, sure, why don't we
just sell the stock, hmm?
416
00:20:01,118 --> 00:20:04,119
It's just about low enough.
417
00:20:04,121 --> 00:20:05,187
Fine, sell! Good.
418
00:20:05,189 --> 00:20:06,821
Then when it goes
back up on Monday,
419
00:20:06,823 --> 00:20:08,256
you'll be all, "Ooh,
Chunky sorry."
420
00:20:08,258 --> 00:20:09,924
Again? Again with the Chunky?
Yes, yes.
421
00:20:09,926 --> 00:20:13,995
You back it down.
Both of you stop it!
422
00:20:13,997 --> 00:20:15,863
How sad this is.
423
00:20:15,865 --> 00:20:17,765
It's Christmas eve and
all you two can do
424
00:20:17,767 --> 00:20:20,235
is argue about a couple
of nickels and dimes?
425
00:20:21,937 --> 00:20:23,938
Let me tell you something.
426
00:20:23,940 --> 00:20:26,308
The best Christmas I ever
had was with your mother
427
00:20:26,310 --> 00:20:29,277
in our first house,
the one in Flatbush.
428
00:20:29,279 --> 00:20:32,080
We were broke. We had
no heat, no hot water,
429
00:20:32,082 --> 00:20:34,082
and a leaky roof.
430
00:20:34,084 --> 00:20:37,285
But we loved it! You know why?
431
00:20:38,721 --> 00:20:40,822
Because you had each other.
432
00:20:40,824 --> 00:20:42,324
Because we had vodka!
433
00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:46,328
So now come in and
let's have some shots.
434
00:20:55,139 --> 00:20:57,071
Um...
435
00:20:57,073 --> 00:20:59,374
I'm sorry.
436
00:20:59,376 --> 00:21:02,644
I'm sorry too.
437
00:21:02,646 --> 00:21:03,945
Let's just sell the stock.
438
00:21:03,947 --> 00:21:05,013
Yes.
439
00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:06,615
I mean, who cares
how much we lose?
440
00:21:06,617 --> 00:21:08,216
At least we'll be
done with it, right?
441
00:21:08,218 --> 00:21:11,219
Let's just dump it and be
happy with the life we have.
442
00:21:11,221 --> 00:21:12,220
Yeah.
443
00:21:12,222 --> 00:21:13,755
Hmm, yes. Okay.
444
00:21:13,757 --> 00:21:15,923
Merry Christmas, baby.
445
00:21:15,925 --> 00:21:17,425
Hmm, merry Christmas.
446
00:21:17,427 --> 00:21:18,760
Mmm.
447
00:21:26,135 --> 00:21:29,304
Although it really can't
go any lower, can it?
448
00:21:29,306 --> 00:21:33,608
I was just thinking
the same thing.
449
00:21:33,610 --> 00:21:34,609
Maybe we should keep it.
450
00:21:34,611 --> 00:21:36,144
Maybe we should buy more.
451
00:21:36,146 --> 00:21:37,745
You know, Harry bought more.
452
00:21:37,747 --> 00:21:41,049
DOUG: Harry knows. He's
a very, very smart man.
453
00:21:41,051 --> 00:21:42,617
CARRIE: So we'll buy some more?
454
00:21:42,619 --> 00:21:44,286
DOUG: Well, how we
gonna get the money?
455
00:21:44,288 --> 00:21:45,487
CARRIE: I don't know. Uh...
456
00:21:45,489 --> 00:21:46,888
second mortgage?
457
00:21:46,890 --> 00:21:48,990
DOUG: Better yet. Cash
advance on our credit cards.
458
00:21:48,992 --> 00:21:51,226
CARRIE: Yeah, because
we get the miles.
459
00:21:51,228 --> 00:21:53,428
DOUG: Hee-hee!
460
00:22:09,287 --> 00:22:10,453
TV ANCHORWOMAN: And
in financial news,
461
00:22:10,455 --> 00:22:13,757
shominy.com, this week's
darling on Wall Street,
462
00:22:13,759 --> 00:22:16,259
plummeted on news that its CEO
463
00:22:16,261 --> 00:22:20,563
has 11 prior convictions
for stock fraud.
33109
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