Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,305 --> 00:00:05,371
Carrie! Come on, we gotta go!
2
00:00:05,373 --> 00:00:06,806
CARRIE: I'm coming!
3
00:00:06,808 --> 00:00:08,508
League starts in 20 minutes.
4
00:00:08,510 --> 00:00:10,042
Will you relax?
5
00:00:10,044 --> 00:00:11,411
Broads.
6
00:00:12,613 --> 00:00:14,380
So where are you off to tonight?
7
00:00:14,382 --> 00:00:19,952
Are the bowling shirt and
bowling ball any help, or...
8
00:00:19,954 --> 00:00:22,021
All right, call off
your dogs, sassy.
9
00:00:22,023 --> 00:00:24,190
Just making small talk.
10
00:00:24,192 --> 00:00:26,593
All right. Look, I was out of line there.
I'm sorry.
11
00:00:26,595 --> 00:00:28,595
Quite all right.
12
00:00:28,597 --> 00:00:30,096
So where you off to?
13
00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:34,767
Carrie!
14
00:00:34,769 --> 00:00:37,270
Come on, what are you doing?
15
00:00:37,272 --> 00:00:39,239
Wh-what are you doing?
16
00:00:39,241 --> 00:00:41,073
Ironing my jeans.
I'm almost done.
17
00:00:41,075 --> 00:00:43,143
What's wrong with the
ones you had on?
18
00:00:43,145 --> 00:00:45,578
I don't like the way my
butt looked in those.
19
00:00:45,580 --> 00:00:46,979
Ah, come on.
20
00:00:46,981 --> 00:00:48,615
Hey, back it off!
21
00:00:48,617 --> 00:00:50,816
This is between me and my ass.
22
00:00:50,818 --> 00:00:52,619
You'll have to understand,
23
00:00:52,621 --> 00:00:54,754
bowling is all about the
way you look from behind.
24
00:00:54,756 --> 00:00:56,822
Yeah, and you looked
fine in the other ones.
25
00:00:56,824 --> 00:00:58,525
Although I can't say
I'm hating this look.
26
00:00:58,527 --> 00:01:01,394
Get you spread eagle on
the hood of a Camaro,
27
00:01:01,396 --> 00:01:02,562
we got a big-selling poster.
28
00:01:06,433 --> 00:01:08,034
I am done.
29
00:01:08,036 --> 00:01:13,039
Oh, yeah, put your pants
on slow for daddy.
30
00:01:13,041 --> 00:01:14,574
Ooh, yeah. Mmm-mmmm.
31
00:01:14,576 --> 00:01:16,942
Shut up, would you, please?
32
00:01:16,944 --> 00:01:19,779
Okay, nice. Let's go, slammo.
33
00:01:19,781 --> 00:01:20,846
Thank God.
34
00:01:21,871 --> 00:01:22,938
Oh, yeah.
35
00:02:06,268 --> 00:02:10,271
All right! The Cooper's
Onion Ringers have arrived.
36
00:02:10,273 --> 00:02:12,005
Yeah! Yeah!
37
00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:14,175
Okay, nobody seems to care.
38
00:02:14,177 --> 00:02:16,477
That's because
they're all losers.
39
00:02:16,479 --> 00:02:18,379
All right, people. Let's
push some tables together.
40
00:02:18,381 --> 00:02:20,047
Three pitchers right over here.
41
00:02:20,049 --> 00:02:22,149
Spence, nice bowling
tonight, cutie.
42
00:02:22,151 --> 00:02:24,118
Gosh, the man can't
run, he can't jump.
43
00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:26,753
He can barely walk, but,
damn it, he can roll a ball.
44
00:02:26,755 --> 00:02:29,190
Magic fingers. I
got magic fingers.
45
00:02:29,192 --> 00:02:30,291
And lanucci,
46
00:02:30,293 --> 00:02:31,559
obviously trying
to impress someone
47
00:02:31,561 --> 00:02:32,926
into having sex with him.
48
00:02:32,928 --> 00:02:34,528
I don't know, I wasn't
that impressed.
49
00:02:34,530 --> 00:02:36,863
Just scored a 135.
50
00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:40,067
Hey, a 191. I gets no love?
51
00:02:40,069 --> 00:02:41,535
Come on, Deac.
We're the legends.
52
00:02:41,537 --> 00:02:43,370
We don't talk about
it, we just do it.
53
00:02:43,372 --> 00:02:47,040
Yeah, yeah. A 191, I
want to talk about it.
54
00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:48,875
Hey, how about Carrie
over here, huh?
55
00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:50,811
Hey, my lovely wife, huh?
56
00:02:50,813 --> 00:02:54,315
Gutting her way to a personal
best score of... 47.
57
00:02:57,085 --> 00:02:58,385
Sucky bowler right here.
58
00:02:58,387 --> 00:03:00,588
Can't bowl for crap. Yeah!
59
00:03:00,590 --> 00:03:02,556
Hey, but her ass was
in great form, huh?
60
00:03:02,558 --> 00:03:03,657
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
61
00:03:03,659 --> 00:03:05,859
All I saw was a nice ass.
62
00:03:05,861 --> 00:03:07,261
Well, if you guys
will excuse me,
63
00:03:07,263 --> 00:03:08,662
I'm gonna go stop in on Bobby
64
00:03:08,664 --> 00:03:10,063
and pick up our league checks.
65
00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:13,300
So do me a favor. Order me
several thousand hot wings.
66
00:03:13,302 --> 00:03:15,369
Bobby! Yo, Bobby!
67
00:03:15,371 --> 00:03:20,073
Bobby! Hey, you're not Bobby.
Where's Bobby?
68
00:03:20,075 --> 00:03:23,277
I fired Bobby. Who are you?
69
00:03:23,279 --> 00:03:25,879
Oh, I was just... I was...
Who are you?
70
00:03:25,881 --> 00:03:27,814
My name is Bruce Degner.
71
00:03:27,816 --> 00:03:29,216
Oh, so you're the new Bobby?
72
00:03:29,218 --> 00:03:31,852
No, I'm not the new Bobby.
73
00:03:31,854 --> 00:03:33,820
My father-in-law
owns this place.
74
00:03:33,822 --> 00:03:35,722
He just had a massive
brain aneurysm...
75
00:03:35,724 --> 00:03:37,525
Which he richly deserves.
76
00:03:37,527 --> 00:03:39,760
So now I have to spend
time I don't have
77
00:03:39,762 --> 00:03:42,363
away from my law practice
to come in here every night
78
00:03:42,365 --> 00:03:44,998
and sit and look over
this random heap
79
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,700
of Post-its and napkins
80
00:03:46,702 --> 00:03:48,636
that passes around
here for a ledger.
81
00:03:48,638 --> 00:03:52,540
Something I'm trying very
hard to do right now,
82
00:03:52,542 --> 00:03:54,241
which brings me back
to my original,
83
00:03:54,243 --> 00:03:55,643
still unanswered question...
84
00:03:55,645 --> 00:03:57,344
Who are you?
85
00:03:57,346 --> 00:03:59,112
Hi, I'm Doug. Doug Heffernan.
86
00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:01,482
I'm a member of the
bowling team you sponsor.
87
00:04:01,484 --> 00:04:06,119
Well, member... I'm
actually the captain.
88
00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:07,721
So, what do you want, captain?
89
00:04:07,723 --> 00:04:11,592
Uh, it's just that, uh,
Bobby, who I did not like,
90
00:04:11,594 --> 00:04:13,794
uh, was supposed to
leave me a check
91
00:04:13,796 --> 00:04:15,362
for our league dues this month.
92
00:04:15,364 --> 00:04:16,797
Oh, swell, because this place
93
00:04:16,799 --> 00:04:19,533
really isn't hemorrhaging
quite enough money yet.
94
00:04:19,535 --> 00:04:20,901
All right, how much?
95
00:04:20,903 --> 00:04:24,037
It's $1,500. Boy, it's
getting cold down here.
96
00:04:24,039 --> 00:04:25,038
Were you outside?
97
00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:27,408
1,500 for the year?
98
00:04:27,410 --> 00:04:29,376
Uh, well, if you mean
calendar year, yes.
99
00:04:29,378 --> 00:04:31,778
There is another 1,500 due
in the middle of the season,
100
00:04:31,780 --> 00:04:33,614
but that's way, way off.
101
00:04:33,616 --> 00:04:35,115
So let me get this straight.
102
00:04:35,117 --> 00:04:38,285
Cooper's has been paying you
people $3,000 a year...
103
00:04:38,287 --> 00:04:40,588
No, season. Season, to bowl?
104
00:04:40,590 --> 00:04:43,790
Can I assume that you are
some of the finest bowlers
105
00:04:43,792 --> 00:04:46,227
in the history of mankind?
106
00:04:46,229 --> 00:04:49,062
If you want to.
107
00:04:50,432 --> 00:04:52,700
Sorry, Doug. I can't do it.
108
00:04:52,702 --> 00:04:55,369
Come on, Bruce. You
can't just drop us.
109
00:04:55,371 --> 00:04:57,404
Cooper's bowling team
is a great tradition.
110
00:04:57,406 --> 00:04:59,340
Plus it's great
for business too.
111
00:04:59,342 --> 00:05:00,974
You know, people see
us bowling out there
112
00:05:00,976 --> 00:05:03,176
wearing these shirts that
say Cooper's, you know,
113
00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:05,446
and they think to themselves...
114
00:05:05,448 --> 00:05:08,315
"Cooper's." You with me?
115
00:05:08,317 --> 00:05:09,450
I think so.
116
00:05:09,452 --> 00:05:10,984
Plus when we win a
big championship,
117
00:05:10,986 --> 00:05:12,219
there's an article
in the newspaper,
118
00:05:12,221 --> 00:05:13,787
pictures, more publicity.
119
00:05:13,789 --> 00:05:14,988
You're a championship team?
120
00:05:14,990 --> 00:05:17,324
Did I say that? Yes.
121
00:05:17,326 --> 00:05:18,859
Well, no, no, no, we're not.
122
00:05:18,861 --> 00:05:23,297
But we often make incredible
comebacks that fall just short.
123
00:05:23,299 --> 00:05:25,766
Listen, Doug. You
seem like a nice guy.
124
00:05:25,768 --> 00:05:26,833
So do you.
125
00:05:26,835 --> 00:05:28,802
But it just doesn't
make any sense to me
126
00:05:28,804 --> 00:05:32,339
to sponsor a bowling
team unless it wins.
127
00:05:32,341 --> 00:05:34,575
And even then, it's hard
to get too enthusiastic.
128
00:05:34,577 --> 00:05:35,976
Yeah, but the shirt?
129
00:05:35,978 --> 00:05:37,678
Yes, I know the
shirts, yes, yes.
130
00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:41,014
But, uh... Look, I
guess if you did well,
131
00:05:41,016 --> 00:05:43,350
the publicity would
be good for business.
132
00:05:43,352 --> 00:05:45,552
I'll tell you what. You
do what you got to do,
133
00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:48,489
and show me you got a shot at
winning one of those trophies...
134
00:05:48,491 --> 00:05:50,924
You know, the guy on top with
the sweater and the silver...
135
00:05:50,926 --> 00:05:52,726
And I'll write you a check.
You got it?
136
00:05:52,728 --> 00:05:55,028
I got it. I promise we'll
kick it up a notch.
137
00:05:55,030 --> 00:05:56,530
We'll see how you
do next Wednesday.
138
00:05:56,532 --> 00:05:58,932
All right. Even if
we lose, though,
139
00:05:58,934 --> 00:06:01,968
I could always just buy you
one of those trophies.
140
00:06:01,970 --> 00:06:06,139
Or just stand in your
office like this, you know?
141
00:06:06,141 --> 00:06:08,575
All right, man. Thank you.
142
00:06:10,612 --> 00:06:11,878
Okay, now, when we lose,
143
00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:14,515
it's only by an average
of about 40 pins.
144
00:06:14,517 --> 00:06:16,717
So just one more strike,
you know, per game
145
00:06:16,719 --> 00:06:19,553
from each of us ought to do it.
146
00:06:19,555 --> 00:06:22,189
That's it, just one
more strike each.
147
00:06:22,191 --> 00:06:27,127
Or two of us have to get
two more strikes each.
148
00:06:28,596 --> 00:06:32,333
Or we each take a turn
bowling a perfect game.
149
00:06:33,835 --> 00:06:37,270
All right! I know, it's Carrie!
She stinks!
150
00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:39,740
She's stinky Carrie! But
what am I supposed to do?
151
00:06:39,742 --> 00:06:41,074
I can't fire my own wife.
152
00:06:41,076 --> 00:06:43,109
If you don't, we're not
gonna have a team anymore.
153
00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:44,545
Well, then, you know what?
Screw it.
154
00:06:44,547 --> 00:06:45,946
We don't need the league, right?
155
00:06:45,948 --> 00:06:48,048
With that whole free
lane time, free food.
156
00:06:48,050 --> 00:06:50,351
I say we all get together
and bowl on another night
157
00:06:50,353 --> 00:06:52,252
like regular people, huh?
You wanna?
158
00:06:52,254 --> 00:06:53,754
No.
159
00:06:53,756 --> 00:06:55,622
Oh, God.
160
00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:58,525
Come on, we've been bowling
in a league for three years.
161
00:06:58,527 --> 00:07:00,927
That's the life we know.
162
00:07:00,929 --> 00:07:03,029
We're not like the
others anymore.
163
00:07:05,433 --> 00:07:07,801
Anyway, look, we gotta
have two women out of six.
164
00:07:07,803 --> 00:07:10,303
League rules. So who are we
gonna get to replace Carrie?
165
00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:12,740
Pam Dimeo, who I wanted to
get in the first place.
166
00:07:12,742 --> 00:07:13,974
Pam Dimeo, she's awesome.
167
00:07:13,976 --> 00:07:15,175
Can you get her? Yeah.
168
00:07:15,177 --> 00:07:16,377
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
169
00:07:16,379 --> 00:07:18,479
This is Carrie we're
talking about here.
170
00:07:18,481 --> 00:07:20,414
You guys are like a
pack of wild dingoes,
171
00:07:20,416 --> 00:07:22,750
you know, biting into
her flesh and...
172
00:07:22,752 --> 00:07:25,051
pulling her off
the bowling team.
173
00:07:25,053 --> 00:07:27,588
Come on, Moose, don't
be putting this on us.
174
00:07:27,590 --> 00:07:29,155
When we first put
this team together,
175
00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:31,057
we wanted to be good.
You more than anybody.
176
00:07:31,059 --> 00:07:32,058
That's true. He's right.
177
00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:33,494
Yeah. And one day you pranced in
178
00:07:33,496 --> 00:07:35,496
and said, "Carrie's on the
team" and that was it.
179
00:07:35,498 --> 00:07:37,030
I know, I know.
180
00:07:37,032 --> 00:07:38,932
She was like, "Oh, bowling.
I wanna play.
181
00:07:38,934 --> 00:07:40,367
How much fun would that be?"
182
00:07:40,369 --> 00:07:42,836
Play. First of all, you don't
even play bowling, okay?
183
00:07:42,838 --> 00:07:44,571
You go bowling.
184
00:07:46,941 --> 00:07:49,009
You should have just
nixed it then, Moose.
185
00:07:49,011 --> 00:07:50,477
Nix it how?
186
00:07:50,479 --> 00:07:52,679
By not mentioning it in
front of her to begin with.
187
00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:56,517
Kelly didn't know I was in a
bowling league till year two.
188
00:07:56,519 --> 00:07:57,718
This is brutal.
189
00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:00,120
Now I either gotta fire my wife
190
00:08:00,122 --> 00:08:02,456
or just let the team
just fall apart.
191
00:08:02,458 --> 00:08:05,158
It's like, it's like
Sophie's Choice.
192
00:08:06,961 --> 00:08:08,328
Not really.
193
00:08:08,330 --> 00:08:11,164
No? What was Sophie's
choice again?
194
00:08:11,166 --> 00:08:14,601
She had to decide which of her
children to give to the Nazis.
195
00:08:14,603 --> 00:08:16,069
Okay, yeah, that's harder.
196
00:08:17,539 --> 00:08:19,105
Oh, what am I gonna do?
197
00:08:21,143 --> 00:08:22,309
Hey, guys, what's up?
198
00:08:22,311 --> 00:08:23,209
What's up?
199
00:08:25,379 --> 00:08:27,648
What, did I, uh, did I
interrupt something?
200
00:08:27,650 --> 00:08:29,750
You guys talking about chicks?
201
00:08:29,752 --> 00:08:32,619
See a nice rack?
202
00:08:32,621 --> 00:08:35,188
Huh? Nice set of ta-tas?
203
00:08:35,190 --> 00:08:36,657
Huh?
204
00:08:36,659 --> 00:08:39,125
Yes. Two.
205
00:08:50,104 --> 00:08:54,407
Okay. That sucked.
206
00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:56,677
Yeah. Yeah, it did.
207
00:08:56,679 --> 00:08:59,245
Mmm. Diet Coke me, baby.
208
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:02,182
You know what? Uh...
Just for fun,
209
00:09:02,184 --> 00:09:05,118
why don't we try to, like,
bowl really well, okay?
210
00:09:06,888 --> 00:09:08,889
Are your sideburns longer?
211
00:09:08,891 --> 00:09:10,491
I don't know. Maybe.
212
00:09:10,493 --> 00:09:12,759
Look, Wednesday night we're
playing Hey, Eddie's Pizza,
213
00:09:12,761 --> 00:09:14,728
and I just... I
want to beat them.
214
00:09:14,730 --> 00:09:16,697
Why? I like their pizza.
215
00:09:16,699 --> 00:09:18,064
That's not the point.
216
00:09:18,066 --> 00:09:20,801
I just think we should
try to win more often,
217
00:09:20,803 --> 00:09:25,438
because winning is good. You
know, it means you won.
218
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:26,540
Okay.
219
00:09:26,542 --> 00:09:27,875
All right, so let's practice.
220
00:09:27,877 --> 00:09:29,242
Yeah, let's practice.
Okay, great.
221
00:09:29,244 --> 00:09:30,744
Let me break it down for you.
222
00:09:30,746 --> 00:09:32,012
Okay. All right.
223
00:09:32,014 --> 00:09:33,914
It's very simple, all right?
It's here.
224
00:09:33,916 --> 00:09:37,918
It's one, two, three, four.
225
00:09:40,221 --> 00:09:42,823
Yes. Ah, yes. See?
226
00:09:42,825 --> 00:09:45,458
Use the arrows on the lane.
They're your friends.
227
00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:47,060
Oh, all right, yeah, okay.
228
00:09:47,062 --> 00:09:49,062
Let me try, let me try.
Great, great, great.
229
00:09:49,064 --> 00:09:50,063
Okay. Okay.
230
00:09:50,065 --> 00:09:51,264
Okay, you ready?
231
00:09:51,266 --> 00:09:52,833
Yep. Nice and easy. Here we go.
232
00:09:52,835 --> 00:09:54,134
Okay, okay.
233
00:09:54,136 --> 00:09:56,737
Okay, it's one, two...
234
00:09:56,739 --> 00:10:00,607
Okay, that's four. You
forgot three, forgot three.
235
00:10:00,609 --> 00:10:02,809
Yeah, yeah, number three.
236
00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:05,846
Okay, here. Uh, let
me try to teach you
237
00:10:05,848 --> 00:10:08,015
a little something about form.
Come here.
238
00:10:08,017 --> 00:10:09,783
Teach away, Mr. Kot-ter.
239
00:10:11,719 --> 00:10:13,486
All right, remember
now, it's here first.
240
00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:17,991
And then one, two,
three, four...
241
00:10:17,993 --> 00:10:20,126
No! Carrie, come on.
242
00:10:20,128 --> 00:10:21,795
You copped a feel
there, didn't you?
243
00:10:21,797 --> 00:10:22,996
Yeah, you did.
244
00:10:22,998 --> 00:10:24,130
Knock it off!
245
00:10:24,132 --> 00:10:26,600
I wanna win on Wednesday, okay?
246
00:10:26,602 --> 00:10:28,501
What's the big deal?
247
00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:30,236
I just want to
beat Hey, Eddie's!
248
00:10:30,238 --> 00:10:31,738
Why?
249
00:10:31,740 --> 00:10:33,807
They don't use enough sauce.
250
00:10:36,377 --> 00:10:39,112
All right, talk to me here.
251
00:10:39,114 --> 00:10:41,915
What the hell is going on?
252
00:10:41,917 --> 00:10:45,418
It's the new guy running
Cooper's, all right?
253
00:10:45,420 --> 00:10:47,020
He's not gonna sponsor the team
254
00:10:47,022 --> 00:10:48,154
unless we get better.
255
00:10:48,156 --> 00:10:49,856
A-ha.
256
00:10:49,858 --> 00:10:51,692
In fact, if we don't win
Wednesday, it's over.
257
00:10:51,694 --> 00:10:53,694
That's why I wanted
you to practice.
258
00:10:53,696 --> 00:10:55,996
Because I'm the weak link.
Got it.
259
00:10:55,998 --> 00:10:57,363
I'm sorry I didn't tell you.
260
00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:59,399
I just thought maybe, you know,
261
00:10:59,401 --> 00:11:02,069
if you improve, you might
become one of those bowlers
262
00:11:02,071 --> 00:11:03,570
that actually...
263
00:11:03,572 --> 00:11:05,939
knocks pins down.
264
00:11:05,941 --> 00:11:09,209
Okay, well, let me save
you some time here.
265
00:11:09,211 --> 00:11:11,645
I suck at bowling
and I always will.
266
00:11:11,647 --> 00:11:12,746
Don't say that.
267
00:11:12,748 --> 00:11:14,447
Doug, stop it, will you?
268
00:11:14,449 --> 00:11:16,516
I'm not gonna get any better.
269
00:11:19,453 --> 00:11:24,324
So what is it? You want me off the team?
Is that it?
270
00:11:24,326 --> 00:11:27,260
No, I don't want
you off the team.
271
00:11:27,262 --> 00:11:29,896
Why, you want to
be off the team?
272
00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:32,099
Well, if I'm gonna ruin
it for everybody else.
273
00:11:33,434 --> 00:11:36,202
You sure you're okay with this?
274
00:11:36,204 --> 00:11:40,440
I guess I have to be, don't I?
275
00:11:46,180 --> 00:11:49,182
Hey, who's up for lemon ices?
276
00:12:09,121 --> 00:12:10,589
Hey, Bruce.
277
00:12:10,614 --> 00:12:11,879
Oh, hello.
278
00:12:11,881 --> 00:12:13,648
How's it going? How's
your father-in-law doing?
279
00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:14,849
Is he feeling any better?
280
00:12:14,851 --> 00:12:18,386
He flat-lined for over
a minute yesterday.
281
00:12:18,388 --> 00:12:21,690
Uh-huh. So, what else is up?
282
00:12:21,692 --> 00:12:23,057
You want something?
283
00:12:23,059 --> 00:12:25,259
Yeah, actually, I want to
talk to you about the team.
284
00:12:25,261 --> 00:12:26,260
Team? The bowling team.
285
00:12:26,262 --> 00:12:27,829
Oh, yeah.
286
00:12:27,831 --> 00:12:29,764
We've got kind of
a little problem.
287
00:12:29,766 --> 00:12:31,633
Uh, I mean, the bowling
team is great,
288
00:12:31,635 --> 00:12:34,436
except for one person...
Not so great.
289
00:12:34,438 --> 00:12:37,104
Never gonna win
with this person.
290
00:12:37,106 --> 00:12:39,040
And this person turns out to be,
291
00:12:39,042 --> 00:12:42,910
wouldn't you know it?
My wife, yeah.
292
00:12:42,912 --> 00:12:46,247
$6.00 for a urinal cake.
It's madness.
293
00:12:46,249 --> 00:12:48,950
We ought to make people
bring their own.
294
00:12:48,952 --> 00:12:50,251
Uh, my wife?
295
00:12:50,253 --> 00:12:51,252
What about her?
296
00:12:51,254 --> 00:12:52,620
She's the bad bowler.
297
00:12:52,622 --> 00:12:53,621
And?
298
00:12:53,623 --> 00:12:54,889
And, I guess what I'm asking
299
00:12:54,891 --> 00:12:56,524
is if you wouldn't
mind overlooking
300
00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:58,993
the whole not winning
thing, you know,
301
00:12:58,995 --> 00:13:00,628
so I could keep her on the team.
302
00:13:00,630 --> 00:13:02,430
Otherwise, at home, I'm
gonna hear a lot of:
303
00:13:05,100 --> 00:13:08,370
Yeah. I know what that's like.
304
00:13:08,372 --> 00:13:09,904
Wanna hear a funny story?
305
00:13:09,906 --> 00:13:10,905
Sure.
306
00:13:10,907 --> 00:13:12,306
About a year or so ago,
307
00:13:12,308 --> 00:13:14,041
my wife is all stressed out.
308
00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:16,611
For what reason, God only knows.
309
00:13:16,613 --> 00:13:19,280
She decides she's gonna
take a yoga class.
310
00:13:19,282 --> 00:13:20,915
Yoga, right?
311
00:13:20,917 --> 00:13:22,584
Right, with the feet
behind the head.
312
00:13:22,586 --> 00:13:24,185
It's crazy, right?
313
00:13:24,187 --> 00:13:27,154
So she starts going three
times a week, and it works.
314
00:13:27,156 --> 00:13:30,358
She looks relaxed, she's happy.
You know why?
315
00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:31,426
Why?
316
00:13:31,428 --> 00:13:32,660
It turns out she was having
317
00:13:32,662 --> 00:13:34,696
a great deal of sex
with the instructor.
318
00:13:34,698 --> 00:13:36,731
Oh, my God!
319
00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:38,767
Oh, man, that is so...
320
00:13:38,769 --> 00:13:41,803
Huh. Yeah.
321
00:13:41,805 --> 00:13:43,705
The point is,
322
00:13:43,707 --> 00:13:46,408
we all have problems with
our wives, don't we?
323
00:13:49,578 --> 00:13:51,178
I guess so, yeah.
324
00:13:57,953 --> 00:13:59,954
Hey. Hey.
325
00:13:59,956 --> 00:14:01,623
I'm just, uh...
326
00:14:01,625 --> 00:14:03,991
I gotta head off to the, uh...
327
00:14:03,993 --> 00:14:07,862
It's time for me to go...
you know...
328
00:14:09,264 --> 00:14:11,633
Yes, I know.
329
00:14:11,635 --> 00:14:13,367
Right. All righty.
330
00:14:13,369 --> 00:14:16,671
Well, you have a great night.
I love you, okay?
331
00:14:16,673 --> 00:14:18,440
Love you too. See you later.
332
00:14:18,442 --> 00:14:19,674
Hello, Douglas.
333
00:14:19,676 --> 00:14:22,310
What's going on?
334
00:14:22,312 --> 00:14:23,377
Isn't she bowling tonight?
335
00:14:23,379 --> 00:14:24,813
Uh... No, Dad.
336
00:14:26,248 --> 00:14:28,182
Why isn't she bowling tonight?
337
00:14:28,184 --> 00:14:29,818
She, uh...
338
00:14:29,820 --> 00:14:31,586
I'm not on the team anymore.
339
00:14:33,522 --> 00:14:34,989
Why not?
340
00:14:36,291 --> 00:14:37,826
Is she injured?
341
00:14:41,430 --> 00:14:43,164
No. The guy at Cooper's
342
00:14:43,166 --> 00:14:45,934
told Doug that the team
has to start winning more
343
00:14:45,936 --> 00:14:47,268
or he won't sponsor it.
344
00:14:47,270 --> 00:14:50,271
So you fired her off the team?!
345
00:14:50,273 --> 00:14:51,906
No, I just...
346
00:14:51,908 --> 00:14:53,975
I agreed to quit, Dad.
347
00:14:55,410 --> 00:14:57,044
And you just let her quit?!
348
00:14:58,246 --> 00:15:00,214
It's okay, Dad.
349
00:15:00,216 --> 00:15:01,716
It is not okay.
350
00:15:01,718 --> 00:15:04,452
We're talking about
disloyalty and backstabbing.
351
00:15:04,454 --> 00:15:08,089
And for what, a free
night of bowling?
352
00:15:08,091 --> 00:15:10,725
Excuse me, honey, but I don't
like the smell in here.
353
00:15:13,762 --> 00:15:15,296
Okay. Be back by 10:00.
354
00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:22,704
Well here he is.
Thanks for showing up.
355
00:15:22,706 --> 00:15:24,105
Sorry, had a little trouble
356
00:15:24,107 --> 00:15:25,406
getting out of the house.
357
00:15:25,408 --> 00:15:27,375
Doug, this is our new
teammate, Pam Dimeo.
358
00:15:27,377 --> 00:15:28,576
Hey, how you doing, buddy?
359
00:15:28,578 --> 00:15:30,478
Whoa.
360
00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:31,946
All right, it's time to focus.
361
00:15:31,948 --> 00:15:33,615
We're fighting for
our lives here.
362
00:15:33,617 --> 00:15:36,117
Hey, Eddie's!
Pizza's going down.
363
00:15:36,119 --> 00:15:37,284
Moose, you're up. Let's go!
364
00:15:37,286 --> 00:15:38,786
Let's get down to business.
365
00:15:38,788 --> 00:15:41,288
No, uh, he's Moose.
366
00:15:41,290 --> 00:15:42,790
Time to get serious here.
367
00:15:42,792 --> 00:15:43,825
Come on, Dougie!
368
00:15:50,599 --> 00:15:51,766
Come on, pick it up.
369
00:15:51,768 --> 00:15:53,200
Spare it up, Dougie, boy.
370
00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:57,005
Yeah, yeah, sparing it up.
Sparing it up.
371
00:15:57,007 --> 00:15:59,273
Up it will be spared.
372
00:16:38,914 --> 00:16:41,115
DOUG: Okay, you know
what your problem is?
373
00:16:41,117 --> 00:16:43,217
You're not thinking about
what you're doing.
374
00:16:43,219 --> 00:16:46,253
Think. Think.
375
00:16:51,226 --> 00:16:53,360
Don't think.
376
00:16:53,362 --> 00:16:55,863
Clear your head, nice and easy.
377
00:16:59,635 --> 00:17:01,936
Oh, mother of crap!
378
00:17:07,375 --> 00:17:12,113
Okay, it's one,
two, three, four.
379
00:17:12,115 --> 00:17:14,248
The arrows are your friends.
380
00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:16,417
You fired your wife
from the bowling team.
381
00:17:16,419 --> 00:17:19,153
Oh, you're an ugly, ugly man.
382
00:17:19,155 --> 00:17:22,624
Oh, look at that, the
Brunswick Man wears a crown.
383
00:17:22,626 --> 00:17:24,058
Come on, focus, focus!
384
00:17:24,060 --> 00:17:27,095
Focus on the ball
or on the pins.
385
00:17:27,097 --> 00:17:30,098
One or the other. You
fired your wife!
386
00:17:36,072 --> 00:17:37,571
It's okay, it's okay.
I'm doing good!
387
00:17:37,573 --> 00:17:38,806
I'm actually... I'm
good, I'm good.
388
00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:40,207
They all know I'm good.
Yeah, yeah.
389
00:17:40,209 --> 00:17:42,076
I'm good. Good bowler. Big Doug.
Big, big Doug.
390
00:17:42,078 --> 00:17:44,545
Good bowler. Where's the ball?
Where's the ball?
391
00:17:44,547 --> 00:17:47,581
Oh, what's the difference?
Really, what does it matter?
392
00:17:47,583 --> 00:17:49,784
Use the arrows. Why, why?!
393
00:17:49,786 --> 00:17:52,319
You don't deserve to
use those arrows!
394
00:17:56,793 --> 00:17:59,260
Shut up, Hey, Eddie's!
395
00:18:06,068 --> 00:18:08,002
Honey... Honey...
396
00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:10,471
Hey, Bruce, can I talk to you?
397
00:18:10,473 --> 00:18:12,540
Look, honey, if the doctor says
398
00:18:12,542 --> 00:18:15,677
it's time to pull the plug,
he must have a good reason.
399
00:18:15,679 --> 00:18:18,680
A-a-and plus, that nurse
also thought it was time,
400
00:18:18,682 --> 00:18:20,081
don't forget that.
401
00:18:20,083 --> 00:18:21,215
Only one second.
402
00:18:21,217 --> 00:18:23,051
Hang on, honey, there's
a guy in my office.
403
00:18:23,053 --> 00:18:26,253
Fine. Just lie down and put
the doctor on. All right.
404
00:18:26,255 --> 00:18:27,555
What do you want?
405
00:18:27,557 --> 00:18:30,124
I wanted to let you know the
bowling team won tonight.
406
00:18:30,126 --> 00:18:31,525
Yes! There is a God!
407
00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:33,828
Hello, doctor. Dr.
Goldman, listen...
408
00:18:33,830 --> 00:18:35,029
And-and-and and-and-and...
409
00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:36,330
Hold on, doctor.
410
00:18:36,332 --> 00:18:38,599
I also want you to know
I'm quitting the team.
411
00:18:38,601 --> 00:18:40,367
But don't worry,
everything will be fine,
412
00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:41,969
because my friend Deacon...
You don't know him,
413
00:18:41,971 --> 00:18:43,905
he's a good guy... He's
gonna be taking over
414
00:18:43,907 --> 00:18:45,940
as the new captain, and
he'll get a great bowler
415
00:18:45,942 --> 00:18:47,541
to replace me and
they're gonna get you
416
00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:49,343
one of those trophies, you know.
417
00:18:49,345 --> 00:18:51,746
Doug, you have any idea
what's going on here?
418
00:18:51,748 --> 00:18:53,380
I'm about to give my permission
419
00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:57,051
to make a man stop living. No, no!
That was not official!
420
00:18:57,053 --> 00:18:58,820
Right, right, right, right.
I understand that.
421
00:18:58,822 --> 00:19:00,888
I wanted to make sure
we're on the same page.
422
00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:02,790
I'm out, Deacon's in.
Great bowling team.
423
00:19:02,792 --> 00:19:04,491
You'll keep writing
those checks.
424
00:19:04,493 --> 00:19:06,694
It all sounds so wonderful.
Now please leave.
425
00:19:06,696 --> 00:19:08,062
Okay, I'm out of here.
426
00:19:08,064 --> 00:19:10,131
And hey, good luck with the
whole plug-pulling thing.
427
00:19:10,133 --> 00:19:12,834
I'm sure you'll make
the right decision.
428
00:19:12,836 --> 00:19:15,536
Unlike pulling the mozzarella
sticks from the menu.
429
00:19:15,538 --> 00:19:17,271
We can go over
that another time.
430
00:19:21,710 --> 00:19:23,911
"Famous H's for 300.
431
00:19:23,913 --> 00:19:27,949
She's the face that
launched a thousand ships."
432
00:19:27,951 --> 00:19:29,917
I don't know.
433
00:19:29,919 --> 00:19:31,252
From Troy.
434
00:19:31,254 --> 00:19:33,420
Not sure.
435
00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:34,421
Helen of Troy.
436
00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:35,522
I still don't know.
437
00:19:35,524 --> 00:19:36,958
That's the answer!
438
00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:38,425
Hey.
439
00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:40,361
Hey. How was bowling?
440
00:19:40,363 --> 00:19:42,696
Yeah, how was it? After
firing your wife,
441
00:19:42,698 --> 00:19:45,566
did you find a little chippie?
Huh, did you?
442
00:19:45,568 --> 00:19:47,334
Mr. Arnold?
443
00:19:48,603 --> 00:19:49,771
Benedict Arnold?
444
00:19:51,140 --> 00:19:53,875
Famous traitor,
Revolutionary War?
445
00:19:55,310 --> 00:19:57,344
Doesn't anybody read
a book around here?
446
00:20:00,015 --> 00:20:02,250
He's still pretty mad at you.
447
00:20:02,252 --> 00:20:04,718
You might not want
to use the shampoo.
448
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:07,721
Thanks for the warning.
449
00:20:07,723 --> 00:20:11,592
So you guys went pretty
late tonight, huh?
450
00:20:11,594 --> 00:20:14,228
Well, actually, I stopped
by Cooper's after
451
00:20:14,230 --> 00:20:16,164
and I quit the team.
452
00:20:16,166 --> 00:20:18,766
You quit the team? Why?
453
00:20:18,768 --> 00:20:20,367
Why? You know this
wasn't working.
454
00:20:20,369 --> 00:20:22,569
Come on, me on the team,
you not on the team.
455
00:20:22,571 --> 00:20:24,405
All the unspoken tension.
456
00:20:24,407 --> 00:20:26,040
You know, we pass
in the morning...
457
00:20:26,042 --> 00:20:27,875
"Oh, hello. You're
looking well."
458
00:20:29,311 --> 00:20:32,680
Okay, which one of us said that?
459
00:20:32,682 --> 00:20:34,182
You know what I mean, all right?
460
00:20:34,184 --> 00:20:36,017
I mean, I felt bad, you know?
461
00:20:36,019 --> 00:20:39,520
I was thinking about you all
night, and I bowled an 80.
462
00:20:40,889 --> 00:20:44,258
Aw, you sucked because of me?
463
00:20:44,260 --> 00:20:46,727
That's so sweet.
464
00:20:46,729 --> 00:20:48,830
But, honey, you shouldn't
have quit the team.
465
00:20:48,832 --> 00:20:50,264
Yeah, I should have.
Look at you.
466
00:20:50,266 --> 00:20:52,200
This is the first time in a
week you're not depressed.
467
00:20:52,202 --> 00:20:53,434
Well, yes, that's
because I'm touched
468
00:20:53,436 --> 00:20:55,502
that you were willing to quit.
469
00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:57,071
So it is good that I quit?
470
00:20:57,073 --> 00:20:59,640
No, it's not good that you quit.
471
00:20:59,642 --> 00:21:00,808
Okay, what is this, a riddle?
472
00:21:02,377 --> 00:21:04,678
Look, Doug, I don't want
you to quit the team.
473
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:06,547
I never wanted you
to quit the team.
474
00:21:06,549 --> 00:21:09,416
I just wanted you
to want to quit.
475
00:21:09,418 --> 00:21:11,018
Why didn't you just say that?
476
00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:13,154
Well, I couldn't say that.
If I had said that,
477
00:21:13,156 --> 00:21:15,422
then you wouldn't really
be wanting to quit.
478
00:21:15,424 --> 00:21:16,858
You would just be wanting it
479
00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:20,027
because I wanted you to want it.
480
00:21:20,029 --> 00:21:23,130
Okay, if you don't make
sense, I'm gonna tackle you.
481
00:21:24,833 --> 00:21:27,501
I want you on the team.
482
00:21:29,304 --> 00:21:30,704
So let me understand this.
483
00:21:30,706 --> 00:21:34,475
There's no actual plug per se?
484
00:21:34,477 --> 00:21:35,709
Psst!
485
00:21:35,711 --> 00:21:37,578
Got a sec?
486
00:21:52,752 --> 00:21:54,053
I don't understand.
487
00:21:54,055 --> 00:21:56,989
What is it? That I'm
an older gentleman?
488
00:21:56,991 --> 00:21:58,590
Because let me
tell you, darling,
489
00:21:58,592 --> 00:22:02,460
I'll treat you like no man
you've ever been with.
490
00:22:02,462 --> 00:22:03,796
No, thanks, buddy.
491
00:22:05,131 --> 00:22:07,933
Playing hard to get? I like it.
35296
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
