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Subs
by kinglouisxx for www.addic7ed.com
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[shivers]
3
00:00:05,262 --> 00:00:07,612
Oh, you figure out why
your truck won't start?
4
00:00:08,090 --> 00:00:12,724
The gas gauge is frozen on
full, but the tank is empty.
5
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,188
Why gas?
6
00:00:14,189 --> 00:00:15,935
Why couldn't it have been
something less expensive,
7
00:00:15,936 --> 00:00:17,928
like a new engine?
8
00:00:18,050 --> 00:00:19,228
It's bad, guys.
9
00:00:19,350 --> 00:00:20,773
It's bad.
10
00:00:20,774 --> 00:00:23,414
I just got off the phone with
my mom's credit card company.
11
00:00:23,415 --> 00:00:25,367
They know she didn't make the charges.
12
00:00:25,489 --> 00:00:27,349
Well, they don't know it's us, right?
13
00:00:27,350 --> 00:00:28,659
No, not yet, but they're digging.
14
00:00:28,660 --> 00:00:30,489
I tried to throw them
off the scent by telling them
15
00:00:30,490 --> 00:00:33,416
she's got dementia,
but they talked to her.
16
00:00:33,417 --> 00:00:35,935
And they said, to them,
she didn't sound so... so bad.
17
00:00:35,936 --> 00:00:38,010
She sounded fine. Fine.
18
00:00:38,132 --> 00:00:43,132
The woman thinks you're
Davy Jones from The Monkees.
19
00:00:43,254 --> 00:00:44,934
If they find out, what's the worst
20
00:00:44,935 --> 00:00:46,301
that could happen to you guys?
21
00:00:46,302 --> 00:00:50,042
It's a felony punishable by
up to three years in prison.
22
00:00:50,164 --> 00:00:53,114
Huh. Three years of somebody
making all my meals and nobody
23
00:00:53,132 --> 00:00:54,452
wanting anything from me?
24
00:00:55,611 --> 00:00:57,725
Can I think about it?
25
00:00:57,847 --> 00:01:01,871
Well, it's too late
to return my big-screen TV
26
00:01:01,994 --> 00:01:05,612
that becomes a French painting
when you turn it off.
27
00:01:05,734 --> 00:01:07,482
She already has a tracking number.
28
00:01:07,603 --> 00:01:13,051
[sniffles] My little XV435/22-Uh.
29
00:01:13,052 --> 00:01:15,692
None of us want to return
anything because we all know
30
00:01:15,693 --> 00:01:17,313
that once Bev is playing the harp...
31
00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:19,921
and that is a very
generous prediction...
32
00:01:20,043 --> 00:01:23,011
that the card company
will just eat the loss.
33
00:01:23,133 --> 00:01:26,344
The dead don't pay no interest.
34
00:01:26,466 --> 00:01:28,661
But the living can go to jail.
35
00:01:28,662 --> 00:01:30,530
All right, well, there's
only one thing to do.
36
00:01:30,531 --> 00:01:32,581
Dad, you have to
go over to Grandma Bev's
37
00:01:32,582 --> 00:01:33,620
with Aunt Jackie.
38
00:01:33,621 --> 00:01:36,629
Why is it always me?
39
00:01:36,750 --> 00:01:38,214
Because she likes you now.
40
00:01:38,215 --> 00:01:40,124
You're the only one
that can gaslight her
41
00:01:40,125 --> 00:01:42,715
and make her believe
that she bought all that stuff.
42
00:01:44,556 --> 00:01:45,816
Ahh!
43
00:01:50,694 --> 00:01:53,662
Gaslighting an old woman is so cold.
44
00:01:53,784 --> 00:01:55,247
Can I get it on that?
45
00:01:55,248 --> 00:01:56,425
Darlene's right, Dan.
46
00:01:56,426 --> 00:01:57,605
You have to help me.
47
00:01:57,727 --> 00:02:00,694
You guys suck for making me do this.
48
00:02:00,816 --> 00:02:02,564
I just hope she's having a foggy day
49
00:02:02,686 --> 00:02:05,576
so I can convince her that it
was her that made the charges.
50
00:02:05,654 --> 00:02:08,905
I'm going to hell for even saying that.
51
00:02:08,906 --> 00:02:10,327
Well, if you can't convince her maybe
52
00:02:10,328 --> 00:02:13,133
she'll listen to Davy Jones.
53
00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:14,921
Why she doesn't think you're Peter Tork
54
00:02:14,922 --> 00:02:16,710
I don't understand.
55
00:02:18,377 --> 00:02:20,288
Aren't you going to be late for work?
56
00:02:20,410 --> 00:02:23,296
I told you, I try to go
in late on All-Meat Mondays,
57
00:02:23,418 --> 00:02:27,118
having that weirdo Howard carve
it all up before I get there.
58
00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:29,760
He brings his own knives,
which bothers me,
59
00:02:29,882 --> 00:02:32,809
'cause he's not a chef, so...
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00:02:32,810 --> 00:02:35,409
But on the upside, when they
find the bodies in his trunk,
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00:02:35,410 --> 00:02:36,996
you get to be in the documentary.
62
00:02:38,378 --> 00:02:39,818
The whole thing is just gross.
63
00:02:39,923 --> 00:02:41,101
I hate these days.
64
00:02:41,224 --> 00:02:43,419
You know what might
make you feel better?
65
00:02:43,541 --> 00:02:44,597
Nothing.
66
00:02:44,719 --> 00:02:49,151
You're a cynical, negative,
glass-half-empty crank.
67
00:02:49,273 --> 00:02:51,671
Hey, when you become a therapist,
68
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charge less than the others.
69
00:02:55,702 --> 00:03:00,084
Hey, where are you going
with my frying pan?
70
00:03:00,085 --> 00:03:01,751
Oh, it's still warm
from heating up my glove,
71
00:03:01,752 --> 00:03:04,282
so I'm going to use it to
thaw out Becky's gas gauge.
72
00:03:04,283 --> 00:03:07,118
Then I'm going to sit on it on
my way to the hardware store.
73
00:03:07,119 --> 00:03:09,761
You can keep that
as my parting gift to you.
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00:03:12,729 --> 00:03:14,435
[screams]
75
00:03:14,436 --> 00:03:16,874
Are you okay? What happened?
76
00:03:16,875 --> 00:03:19,680
- There was a rat in your sink!
- What?
77
00:03:19,802 --> 00:03:21,590
No, no, no!
78
00:03:21,712 --> 00:03:23,013
You know what?
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00:03:23,014 --> 00:03:24,842
The neighbors are doing
a bunch of construction,
80
00:03:24,843 --> 00:03:26,670
and they probably disturbed a rat mound.
81
00:03:26,671 --> 00:03:27,849
Well, what are you going to do?
82
00:03:27,850 --> 00:03:30,166
Because they can have up to
12 babies every three weeks.
83
00:03:30,167 --> 00:03:31,589
I mean, that's what... what is that?
84
00:03:31,590 --> 00:03:34,395
Like, 750,000 a year?
85
00:03:35,534 --> 00:03:36,957
Yeah, something like that.
86
00:03:37,078 --> 00:03:38,379
Uh, okay, you know what?
87
00:03:38,380 --> 00:03:40,167
I'm going to catch it
when I get home from work.
88
00:03:40,168 --> 00:03:42,648
- Oh, my God.
- Listen, do not tell Ben.
89
00:03:42,649 --> 00:03:44,476
He's going to want to kill it, okay?
90
00:03:44,477 --> 00:03:45,940
- Oh, God, oh.
- All right.
91
00:03:46,062 --> 00:03:47,973
The only thing that dies in this house
92
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are our hopes and dreams.
93
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[bluesy rock music]
94
00:03:52,170 --> 00:03:56,121
3x06 - Moms and Rats
95
00:03:56,244 --> 00:03:59,331
? ?
96
00:04:08,893 --> 00:04:12,379
- "The Conners" is filmed...
- [knock at door]
97
00:04:12,380 --> 00:04:14,149
in front of a live studio audience.
98
00:04:14,150 --> 00:04:15,507
Beverly, look who's here.
99
00:04:15,508 --> 00:04:17,128
It's Jackie and your son-in-law.
100
00:04:17,164 --> 00:04:18,778
And they have flowers.
101
00:04:18,903 --> 00:04:20,518
Hey, Mom, how you doing?
102
00:04:20,519 --> 00:04:22,504
If you're having a bad day,
we can go over a few things,
103
00:04:22,505 --> 00:04:24,545
record the conversation on Dan's phone,
104
00:04:24,617 --> 00:04:26,770
get out of your hair lickety-split.
105
00:04:26,895 --> 00:04:28,220
No. Come in, Jackie.
106
00:04:28,344 --> 00:04:30,373
I'm having a very good day.
107
00:04:30,497 --> 00:04:32,485
Then we'll work with that.
108
00:04:34,183 --> 00:04:36,170
Guess what September 14th is.
109
00:04:36,294 --> 00:04:37,496
That is my birthday.
110
00:04:37,497 --> 00:04:40,145
Or, as you like to remind me,
the first of many days
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00:04:40,146 --> 00:04:41,885
I caused you pain.
112
00:04:42,009 --> 00:04:45,073
Yes, it is your birthday,
and I remembered it.
113
00:04:45,197 --> 00:04:48,013
It just popped into
my noggin just like that.
114
00:04:48,138 --> 00:04:50,548
And I've been having
so much trouble with dates.
115
00:04:50,663 --> 00:04:52,113
Isn't this amazing?
116
00:04:52,237 --> 00:04:54,100
Yes, it is.
117
00:04:54,225 --> 00:04:56,419
Sometimes certain things stick.
118
00:04:56,543 --> 00:04:57,992
Sometimes they don't.
119
00:04:58,116 --> 00:04:59,166
Like finances.
120
00:04:59,276 --> 00:05:01,264
They come, and they go.
121
00:05:02,506 --> 00:05:05,115
So you seem like you're
in a really good mood.
122
00:05:05,239 --> 00:05:06,522
You have a lot of energy.
123
00:05:06,647 --> 00:05:08,718
Did my mom have a Gilligan cure,
124
00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:10,402
or, like, she got hit in the head
125
00:05:10,498 --> 00:05:12,858
with a coconut or something?
126
00:05:12,983 --> 00:05:14,123
Is it okay to tell them?
127
00:05:14,142 --> 00:05:15,192
You might as well.
128
00:05:15,218 --> 00:05:17,138
They seem so shocked that I remembered
129
00:05:17,164 --> 00:05:18,986
my daughter's birthday.
130
00:05:18,987 --> 00:05:20,725
Your mother was offered to take part
131
00:05:20,726 --> 00:05:22,226
in an experimental drug trial.
132
00:05:22,341 --> 00:05:25,322
It's been two months now, and
it really seems to be slowing
133
00:05:25,446 --> 00:05:26,826
down the cognitive decline.
134
00:05:26,937 --> 00:05:27,987
Oh, my gosh.
135
00:05:28,055 --> 00:05:29,918
Mom, why didn't you tell us?
136
00:05:30,043 --> 00:05:32,859
There are a lot of scary
side effects in the waiver,
137
00:05:32,983 --> 00:05:35,301
and I was worried you'd try to stop me.
138
00:05:35,426 --> 00:05:38,016
Oh, I don't think she'd
be worried about scary side
139
00:05:38,117 --> 00:05:40,726
effects for you, Bev.
140
00:05:40,850 --> 00:05:41,927
She's happier.
141
00:05:41,928 --> 00:05:43,706
She's eating better, and there are way
142
00:05:43,707 --> 00:05:45,087
more good days than bad days.
143
00:05:45,198 --> 00:05:47,476
Did the doctor say
if this was permanent?
144
00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:48,800
They don't know for sure.
145
00:05:48,883 --> 00:05:51,533
It might last forever,
or it could go away
146
00:05:51,657 --> 00:05:53,811
in a day, a week, or a month.
147
00:05:53,935 --> 00:05:57,372
And it couldn't have
happened at a better time.
148
00:05:57,496 --> 00:06:01,513
I just found out that someone
has been using my credit card.
149
00:06:01,637 --> 00:06:05,364
What kind of morally bankrupt lowlife
150
00:06:05,488 --> 00:06:08,718
would take advantage of
an old woman with dementia?
151
00:06:09,795 --> 00:06:13,770
Well, there's two sides to every story.
152
00:06:13,771 --> 00:06:16,585
And people could have
a lapse of judgment
153
00:06:16,586 --> 00:06:18,324
in a moment of desperation.
154
00:06:18,449 --> 00:06:20,851
Like it says in the Bible, judge he
155
00:06:20,975 --> 00:06:26,730
not those who we knoweth
not of their desperation,
156
00:06:26,854 --> 00:06:30,499
for they may be scared
and about to bolt.
157
00:06:30,623 --> 00:06:36,544
I believe that's the
book of... of Roger 6:13.
158
00:06:38,780 --> 00:06:42,425
So like I said,
just stopped by to say hi,
159
00:06:42,549 --> 00:06:44,469
which we'll probably do every morning
160
00:06:44,578 --> 00:06:46,772
to check in on you,
see if you're confused.
161
00:06:46,896 --> 00:06:49,381
Because if you are,
we want to jump on that.
162
00:06:49,505 --> 00:06:51,079
You know, to be here for you.
163
00:06:51,203 --> 00:06:53,553
You're not getting away
that easy, young lady.
164
00:06:53,563 --> 00:06:55,054
We have to talk.
165
00:06:55,178 --> 00:06:58,532
I'd stay, but this sounds
like it's going to be awful.
166
00:07:01,141 --> 00:07:02,880
I guess I have this coming.
167
00:07:03,004 --> 00:07:04,412
You certainly do.
168
00:07:04,536 --> 00:07:07,394
You know, when a person
gets to a certain age,
169
00:07:07,518 --> 00:07:10,251
they look back on their life,
and they take inventory
170
00:07:10,375 --> 00:07:11,695
of what they've done wrong.
171
00:07:11,741 --> 00:07:13,770
Well, you're about 30 years too late,
172
00:07:13,895 --> 00:07:17,042
but I'm enjoying the hug, so keep going.
173
00:07:17,166 --> 00:07:20,065
I so regret how poorly I've treated you.
174
00:07:20,189 --> 00:07:22,259
I want to make everything right.
175
00:07:22,383 --> 00:07:23,433
You do?
176
00:07:23,501 --> 00:07:25,489
Tomorrow, I want us to go out and have
177
00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:28,346
a fantastic day in Chicago.
178
00:07:28,470 --> 00:07:31,741
We'll go to the Art Institute
and the Historical Society.
179
00:07:31,865 --> 00:07:34,143
They have the first
piece of Wrigley's gum.
180
00:07:34,268 --> 00:07:35,386
Can you imagine it?
181
00:07:35,510 --> 00:07:37,920
And we'll go to the
Grand Hall and Union Station.
182
00:07:38,036 --> 00:07:40,645
It'll be just like
when you were a child.
183
00:07:40,769 --> 00:07:43,179
But you never took me
anywhere when I was a child.
184
00:07:43,212 --> 00:07:45,200
You said it reflected badly on you.
185
00:07:45,324 --> 00:07:46,938
[laughs]
186
00:07:47,062 --> 00:07:48,112
[laughs]
187
00:07:48,222 --> 00:07:50,997
What a monster I was.
188
00:07:50,998 --> 00:07:53,066
Then this will be
the mother-daughter day
189
00:07:53,067 --> 00:07:54,185
we never had.
190
00:07:54,309 --> 00:07:57,000
Oh, are you really saying that that's
191
00:07:57,001 --> 00:07:58,035
what you want to do?
192
00:07:58,036 --> 00:07:59,982
You... you want to be with me,
193
00:07:59,983 --> 00:08:01,264
even though you're not sure
194
00:08:01,265 --> 00:08:03,957
how many good days you have left?
195
00:08:04,082 --> 00:08:05,904
More than anything else in the world.
196
00:08:06,028 --> 00:08:09,051
All right.
Well, then that's what we'll do.
197
00:08:09,175 --> 00:08:13,978
We will... we'll talk
and love and forgive.
198
00:08:14,102 --> 00:08:16,794
Lots of forgiveness.
199
00:08:16,918 --> 00:08:21,101
Lots of wonderful, unconditional,
200
00:08:21,225 --> 00:08:23,005
unretractable,
201
00:08:23,129 --> 00:08:26,725
legally binding forgiveness.
202
00:08:27,605 --> 00:08:29,683
? ?
203
00:08:29,803 --> 00:08:31,800
- Hey.
- Hey.
204
00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:33,333
How was your day?
205
00:08:33,455 --> 00:08:36,120
Those plungers finally
come to the store?
206
00:08:36,121 --> 00:08:38,137
I know they were stuck
in Minnesota for a while.
207
00:08:38,138 --> 00:08:39,188
Yes.
208
00:08:39,269 --> 00:08:40,683
They came, thank God.
209
00:08:40,804 --> 00:08:42,701
You know, St. Patty's Day coming up.
210
00:08:42,702 --> 00:08:43,952
Corned beef and cabbage.
211
00:08:43,953 --> 00:08:45,246
You do the math.
212
00:08:45,247 --> 00:08:47,263
Oh.
213
00:08:47,264 --> 00:08:49,202
Hey, did you see this?
214
00:08:49,323 --> 00:08:51,505
All the corners chewed off?
215
00:08:51,626 --> 00:08:53,765
I think we have a rat.
216
00:08:53,887 --> 00:08:56,754
What? Wait, let me see that.
217
00:08:56,795 --> 00:08:58,892
Oh.
218
00:08:58,893 --> 00:09:00,792
Uh-huh. No, it's not a rat.
219
00:09:00,913 --> 00:09:03,335
These are Beverly Rose's bite marks.
220
00:09:03,456 --> 00:09:06,486
She's uh... she's pretending
to be a dog again.
221
00:09:06,487 --> 00:09:08,382
And it looks like
Becky changed her food,
222
00:09:08,383 --> 00:09:10,402
and she got stressed out.
223
00:09:10,523 --> 00:09:13,067
All right, well, just to be safe,
224
00:09:13,068 --> 00:09:15,125
I'm going to run to my store,
grab some rat traps.
225
00:09:15,126 --> 00:09:16,176
We've got rats?
226
00:09:16,177 --> 00:09:17,104
Oh.
227
00:09:17,105 --> 00:09:18,478
No, don't overreact.
228
00:09:18,599 --> 00:09:22,678
We maybe have one rat, or,
like, 750,000, if you trust
229
00:09:22,799 --> 00:09:24,899
Jackie's math.
230
00:09:25,020 --> 00:09:28,653
Look, just get the kind
of traps that don't kill.
231
00:09:29,352 --> 00:09:33,579
You do know that it's
only in Disney movies
232
00:09:33,580 --> 00:09:35,750
that they help you get
dressed for the ball.
233
00:09:37,053 --> 00:09:39,879
Darlene, there is
a long-standing arrangement
234
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:41,737
between rats and humans.
235
00:09:41,738 --> 00:09:44,723
We gave them New York City,
and in the rest of the country,
236
00:09:44,724 --> 00:09:46,058
they're fair game.
237
00:09:46,179 --> 00:09:48,521
Hey, hey, hey, I am not playing around.
238
00:09:48,642 --> 00:09:50,014
Use a humane trap.
239
00:09:50,135 --> 00:09:51,185
Really?
240
00:09:51,226 --> 00:09:54,780
Being a vegan includes rats now?
241
00:09:54,901 --> 00:09:56,354
Oh... Okay, okay.
242
00:09:56,475 --> 00:09:58,736
Yes, I will try a humane trap.
243
00:09:58,857 --> 00:09:59,907
Thank you.
244
00:09:59,988 --> 00:10:01,603
[gasps] Oh, no.
245
00:10:01,725 --> 00:10:04,510
Beverly Rose ate some raisins
off of the kitchen floor
246
00:10:04,632 --> 00:10:05,883
this morning.
247
00:10:08,630 --> 00:10:09,680
You don't think...
248
00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:11,941
No, no.
249
00:10:12,061 --> 00:10:13,501
No. Okay?
250
00:10:13,502 --> 00:10:15,292
I was eating some raisins this morning.
251
00:10:15,293 --> 00:10:16,343
I dropped a few.
252
00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:18,604
Oh. Thank God.
253
00:10:26,517 --> 00:10:28,900
- First time in Chicago?
- Huh? Oh, no.
254
00:10:29,021 --> 00:10:30,071
God, no.
255
00:10:30,072 --> 00:10:32,331
No, my mom lost her mind,
but she's better now.
256
00:10:32,332 --> 00:10:35,546
So we're reliving
the childhood that I never had.
257
00:10:35,674 --> 00:10:37,324
So Union Station is our last stop.
258
00:10:37,415 --> 00:10:39,722
- You?
- Oh, my wife loves the old-world
259
00:10:39,723 --> 00:10:42,265
glamour of train travel,
and she's taking a leak.
260
00:10:42,266 --> 00:10:44,406
Yeah. No, my mom loves trains, too.
261
00:10:44,407 --> 00:10:46,464
She's been looking
forward to this all day.
262
00:10:46,465 --> 00:10:48,564
You know, it's funny when
she wasn't all there,
263
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:51,917
I never thought that I
would get closure on all
264
00:10:52,038 --> 00:10:54,299
the crap she left me holding.
265
00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:58,620
You know, feeling insecure,
not good enough, unloved.
266
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:01,002
And then today
at the Hancock building, I...
267
00:11:01,123 --> 00:11:02,173
I yelled at her.
268
00:11:02,214 --> 00:11:03,474
She cried. She yelled at me.
269
00:11:03,546 --> 00:11:04,596
I cried.
270
00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:06,614
Then the Swedish tour group
in the elevator with us,
271
00:11:06,615 --> 00:11:07,583
they cried.
272
00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:08,836
Those people never cry.
273
00:11:08,957 --> 00:11:13,237
So I... I just feel like
I've had 60 years of poison
274
00:11:13,358 --> 00:11:14,893
drain out of my body.
275
00:11:15,014 --> 00:11:17,033
I've never felt this good.
276
00:11:17,154 --> 00:11:20,101
So happy for you, person
I don't know or care about.
277
00:11:20,223 --> 00:11:21,273
I'm ready.
278
00:11:21,313 --> 00:11:22,363
Let's go.
279
00:11:22,484 --> 00:11:24,947
Oh, excuse me,
but the older woman in there
280
00:11:24,948 --> 00:11:26,359
with the little crocheted hat,
281
00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:28,015
does she seemed ready to come out?
282
00:11:28,016 --> 00:11:29,146
There's no one else in there.
283
00:11:29,147 --> 00:11:30,074
Oh.
284
00:11:30,075 --> 00:11:31,326
Maybe in one of the stalls.
285
00:11:31,327 --> 00:11:33,102
They're all open.
There's no one in there.
286
00:11:33,103 --> 00:11:34,153
Okay.
287
00:11:34,154 --> 00:11:35,567
'Cause I saw her.
288
00:11:38,071 --> 00:11:39,539
Mom!
289
00:11:39,661 --> 00:11:42,149
[bluesy harmonica music]
290
00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:47,085
Um. Anything in the traps?
291
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:50,218
Nope, but the cheese keeps disappearing.
292
00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:52,811
You ate the cheese, didn't you?
293
00:11:52,812 --> 00:11:55,360
I don't know why you'd
waste something as delicious
294
00:11:55,361 --> 00:11:57,661
as pepper jack on catching a rat.
295
00:11:59,376 --> 00:12:01,760
Hey, what you doing home so early?
296
00:12:01,885 --> 00:12:03,767
You know Howard the knife guy?
297
00:12:03,768 --> 00:12:05,689
He's a person of interest in something,
298
00:12:05,690 --> 00:12:08,367
and they shut the cafeteria down.
299
00:12:11,842 --> 00:12:15,432
Why is there a kill trap on the counter?
300
00:12:15,433 --> 00:12:17,817
Because the humane ones don't work.
301
00:12:17,943 --> 00:12:19,866
The rats are too smart.
302
00:12:20,809 --> 00:12:24,464
Dad, I can't believe you're actually
303
00:12:24,465 --> 00:12:25,721
over here helping him.
304
00:12:25,722 --> 00:12:28,312
You've known how I felt about
this since I was a teenager.
305
00:12:28,313 --> 00:12:30,320
Do you remember when I made
you catch that field mouse
306
00:12:30,321 --> 00:12:31,657
and take it out to the country?
307
00:12:31,658 --> 00:12:34,544
Did you not notice it only
took me 10 minutes to get out
308
00:12:34,669 --> 00:12:36,676
to the country and come back?
309
00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:41,862
Look, sometimes we have
to make a choice, okay?
310
00:12:41,863 --> 00:12:44,116
We can't always humor
your feelings about animals
311
00:12:44,117 --> 00:12:45,207
in these situations.
312
00:12:45,333 --> 00:12:47,253
Humor my feelings? Are you kidding me?
313
00:12:47,254 --> 00:12:48,551
Oh, I know where this is going.
314
00:12:48,552 --> 00:12:50,183
Bye.
315
00:12:52,107 --> 00:12:53,277
Come on, Darlene.
316
00:12:53,278 --> 00:12:56,329
Beverly Rose is so terrified
she won't come out of her room.
317
00:12:56,330 --> 00:12:59,090
You haven't even tried
to use a humane trap.
318
00:12:59,215 --> 00:13:00,972
Why are your feelings so much more
319
00:13:00,973 --> 00:13:02,476
important than mine in this?
320
00:13:02,477 --> 00:13:03,527
Fine.
321
00:13:03,528 --> 00:13:04,651
Okay, we'll do it your way.
322
00:13:04,652 --> 00:13:07,370
We'll let him grow up,
send him to college,
323
00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:10,380
and as soon as he goes to
Myrtle Beach for spring break,
324
00:13:10,506 --> 00:13:12,638
we'll change the locks.
325
00:13:12,765 --> 00:13:13,977
Don't make fun of me.
326
00:13:14,102 --> 00:13:16,193
You know what? You're being a jerk.
327
00:13:16,194 --> 00:13:17,948
You really want to drive the rat out?
328
00:13:17,949 --> 00:13:19,469
Marry it.
329
00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:26,729
[bluesy harmonica music]
330
00:13:26,855 --> 00:13:28,670
? ?
331
00:13:28,796 --> 00:13:31,539
Oh, my God. Thank you very much.
332
00:13:31,540 --> 00:13:33,567
God, I've been looking
everywhere for you.
333
00:13:33,568 --> 00:13:34,619
What are you doing?
334
00:13:34,740 --> 00:13:35,790
Don't get excited.
335
00:13:35,833 --> 00:13:37,273
I'm just getting on the train.
336
00:13:37,288 --> 00:13:38,501
I was going to text you.
337
00:13:38,502 --> 00:13:40,724
[scoffs] You can't let
this woman on the train.
338
00:13:40,725 --> 00:13:42,182
She has dementia.
339
00:13:42,303 --> 00:13:43,880
I'm fine. Ask me anything.
340
00:13:43,881 --> 00:13:46,710
The president of the United
States is that kid Joe Biden.
341
00:13:46,711 --> 00:13:49,178
The vice president is Kamala Harris.
342
00:13:49,179 --> 00:13:51,361
This is my lovely daughter,
Jackie Harris.
343
00:13:51,362 --> 00:13:53,060
No relation.
344
00:13:53,182 --> 00:13:55,972
That doesn't prove anything.
345
00:13:56,093 --> 00:13:58,318
Name one senator from our state.
346
00:13:58,439 --> 00:14:00,704
You name one senator.
347
00:14:03,171 --> 00:14:05,800
I'm not the one trying
to get on a train.
348
00:14:05,922 --> 00:14:08,631
Look, I'm no doctor,
but she seems okay to me.
349
00:14:08,632 --> 00:14:09,884
Mom, what are you doing?
350
00:14:09,885 --> 00:14:11,906
Mom, this is a train.
351
00:14:12,028 --> 00:14:13,348
It's going to take you away.
352
00:14:13,349 --> 00:14:15,829
- Do you even know where it's going?
- It's going east.
353
00:14:15,830 --> 00:14:18,984
I haven't decided where to get off yet.
Isn't that wonderful?
354
00:14:19,105 --> 00:14:21,532
But we had an amazing day together.
355
00:14:21,653 --> 00:14:23,231
What, did I do something wrong?
356
00:14:23,352 --> 00:14:25,374
No, dear. Of course not.
357
00:14:25,495 --> 00:14:27,175
You've never done anything wrong
358
00:14:27,275 --> 00:14:31,197
but try to please
an unreasonable old woman.
359
00:14:31,319 --> 00:14:34,191
Today was the best day we've ever had.
360
00:14:34,192 --> 00:14:36,535
Well, then why would
you want to leave, huh?
361
00:14:36,536 --> 00:14:37,796
What about your clothes?
362
00:14:37,797 --> 00:14:39,164
And what about your medication?
363
00:14:39,165 --> 00:14:40,876
It's all right here in my tote bag.
364
00:14:40,990 --> 00:14:42,360
I've got a lot of Lululemon.
365
00:14:42,481 --> 00:14:45,434
It rolls up very small.
366
00:14:45,555 --> 00:14:47,698
Wait, so you were planning this?
367
00:14:47,819 --> 00:14:51,297
So was this day
all just to get me to drive
368
00:14:51,418 --> 00:14:53,158
you to the train station?
369
00:14:53,159 --> 00:14:54,290
No, dear.
370
00:14:54,291 --> 00:14:55,987
I could have taken a cab, but I wanted
371
00:14:55,988 --> 00:14:57,970
to have this day with you.
372
00:14:58,092 --> 00:15:01,610
I wanted your face to be
the last one I saw before I
373
00:15:01,732 --> 00:15:03,714
went on my grand adventure.
374
00:15:05,452 --> 00:15:06,868
Please don't do this.
375
00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:08,039
I have to.
376
00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:09,819
I'm not going to sit around my apartment
377
00:15:09,820 --> 00:15:11,680
until I don't know where I am.
378
00:15:11,801 --> 00:15:13,420
I want to die living.
379
00:15:13,541 --> 00:15:14,754
But it isn't fair.
380
00:15:14,755 --> 00:15:17,099
We finally have a day
where I want you to stay,
381
00:15:17,100 --> 00:15:18,420
but now you're leaving me?
382
00:15:18,475 --> 00:15:21,306
That's why I gave you this day.
383
00:15:21,307 --> 00:15:23,084
If I knew for sure I could remember
384
00:15:23,085 --> 00:15:26,442
to love you every day,
I would never leave you.
385
00:15:26,563 --> 00:15:28,141
Give my nurse a good tip.
386
00:15:28,262 --> 00:15:30,041
I have a reputation.
387
00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:31,254
Mom.
388
00:15:31,376 --> 00:15:32,994
All aboard!
389
00:15:33,115 --> 00:15:34,975
And don't worry about the credit card.
390
00:15:35,056 --> 00:15:37,361
I called and said there were my charges.
391
00:15:37,362 --> 00:15:40,231
I hope you and the family
enjoy everything you scammed
392
00:15:40,232 --> 00:15:42,052
from the credit card people.
393
00:15:42,174 --> 00:15:43,994
I know that I am.
394
00:15:43,995 --> 00:15:47,835
You know, I could grab you
right now and keep you here.
395
00:15:47,836 --> 00:15:49,494
But you won't.
396
00:15:50,586 --> 00:15:52,244
Now wave goodbye.
397
00:15:58,230 --> 00:15:59,619
Don't get murdered.
398
00:16:03,353 --> 00:16:06,848
[bluesy harmonica music]
399
00:16:10,622 --> 00:16:12,488
There you are.
400
00:16:12,607 --> 00:16:15,317
God, I've been looking
all over town for you.
401
00:16:15,318 --> 00:16:17,164
Even went to Costco
to see if you were trying
402
00:16:17,165 --> 00:16:19,751
flannels on in the boys' section.
403
00:16:22,297 --> 00:16:23,735
I was worried.
404
00:16:23,736 --> 00:16:26,033
You know, I didn't mean
to make you that upset.
405
00:16:26,034 --> 00:16:27,654
Well, I didn't think you noticed.
406
00:16:27,758 --> 00:16:30,962
Look, I know how much
you care about animals.
407
00:16:31,085 --> 00:16:33,671
Probably more than you care about me.
408
00:16:36,750 --> 00:16:40,529
That's... that's where you
jump in and say no, but okay.
409
00:16:40,652 --> 00:16:43,280
And I tried to catch
the rat in a humane way,
410
00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:45,661
but it just wasn't going to happen.
411
00:16:45,784 --> 00:16:47,221
No, you're not getting it.
412
00:16:47,344 --> 00:16:49,275
This isn't just about the rat.
413
00:16:49,398 --> 00:16:51,369
You're not really listening to me.
414
00:16:51,492 --> 00:16:53,134
It's like when I talk about my job
415
00:16:53,257 --> 00:16:55,188
and I tell you how hard it is for me
416
00:16:55,189 --> 00:16:58,019
to go in and serve meat
every day, you just dismiss it,
417
00:16:58,020 --> 00:16:59,130
or you make a joke.
418
00:16:59,253 --> 00:17:01,423
Well, I make a joke,
because you make a joke.
419
00:17:01,470 --> 00:17:05,329
I mean, that's the foundation
of our whole marriage, right?
420
00:17:05,453 --> 00:17:09,231
We both have horrible lives,
but we can laugh about it.
421
00:17:09,354 --> 00:17:12,310
Yeah, but sometimes jokes aren't jokes.
422
00:17:12,433 --> 00:17:15,102
I need you to check in
on me and see how I'm feeling
423
00:17:15,225 --> 00:17:17,395
every once in a while,
just like I asked you
424
00:17:17,442 --> 00:17:19,792
about your stupid plungers,
for God's sakes,
425
00:17:19,825 --> 00:17:23,479
because I know that's
a stress in your job.
426
00:17:23,602 --> 00:17:25,942
I... I guess I'm still learning
427
00:17:26,065 --> 00:17:27,790
to figure out which ones are jokes
428
00:17:27,913 --> 00:17:31,321
and which are a cry for help.
429
00:17:31,444 --> 00:17:33,661
Look, I get that
there's a learning curve.
430
00:17:33,784 --> 00:17:36,536
But let's say I make
a joke about the same thing
431
00:17:36,659 --> 00:17:38,343
3,000 times.
432
00:17:38,466 --> 00:17:40,816
That is your clue
that something is bugging me
433
00:17:40,930 --> 00:17:42,449
and to take it seriously.
434
00:17:42,572 --> 00:17:43,968
You got it.
435
00:17:44,091 --> 00:17:46,391
Okay, so what happens
if I check in on you
436
00:17:46,514 --> 00:17:50,414
and you were making a joke
and didn't need me to check in?
437
00:17:50,415 --> 00:17:52,220
Well, then you're being too clingy,
438
00:17:52,221 --> 00:17:54,685
and that's, like, a huge turnoff.
439
00:17:56,902 --> 00:17:57,952
So I can't win?
440
00:17:58,052 --> 00:18:00,636
- Yeah, now you're getting it.
- [laughs]
441
00:18:00,758 --> 00:18:03,382
[bluesy harmonica music]
442
00:18:03,505 --> 00:18:06,499
[piano notes plunking]
443
00:18:09,410 --> 00:18:13,674
Uh, what's up with the chickens?
444
00:18:13,797 --> 00:18:16,592
We wanted to show you that
we care about animals, too,
445
00:18:16,714 --> 00:18:18,820
so tonight, we're not serving chicken.
446
00:18:18,942 --> 00:18:20,278
We're serving chickens.
447
00:18:20,279 --> 00:18:23,964
Wait, you're not just fattening them up
448
00:18:23,965 --> 00:18:25,949
to eat them later, right?
449
00:18:26,071 --> 00:18:28,096
No, no.
450
00:18:28,218 --> 00:18:30,527
That would be wrong.
451
00:18:30,649 --> 00:18:32,431
Right?
452
00:18:35,590 --> 00:18:36,643
Jackie's here.
453
00:18:36,765 --> 00:18:38,445
I gotta hear about her day with Bev.
454
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:41,343
So how was it?
455
00:18:41,464 --> 00:18:43,205
Is Bev going to press charges?
456
00:18:43,206 --> 00:18:44,258
No.
457
00:18:44,259 --> 00:18:46,325
She's covering for us.
458
00:18:46,446 --> 00:18:48,715
Oh, thank God.
459
00:18:48,837 --> 00:18:51,470
I finally got the mother
I've always wanted today.
460
00:18:51,591 --> 00:18:53,778
And the day ended at Union Station,
461
00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:58,842
where my mom got on a train
and went God knows where.
462
00:19:00,948 --> 00:19:02,731
What are you talking about?
463
00:19:02,732 --> 00:19:04,309
Bev didn't want to live the rest
464
00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:06,133
of her life confined to her home,
465
00:19:06,254 --> 00:19:08,402
so she set off on a glorious journey.
466
00:19:08,523 --> 00:19:11,237
And she'll just see where it takes her.
467
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:13,384
What a day.
468
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,625
Are you out of your damn mind?
469
00:19:16,746 --> 00:19:19,055
You let a 96-year-old woman who thought
470
00:19:19,176 --> 00:19:22,498
her granddaughter
was Davy Jones a few weeks ago
471
00:19:22,619 --> 00:19:24,767
get on a train alone?
472
00:19:24,768 --> 00:19:26,467
And you don't even
know where she's going?
473
00:19:26,468 --> 00:19:27,724
I didn't need to.
474
00:19:27,725 --> 00:19:29,748
She's doing what she wants,
and she's thinking
475
00:19:29,749 --> 00:19:30,882
pretty clearly now, too.
476
00:19:30,883 --> 00:19:31,733
Ask Dan.
477
00:19:31,734 --> 00:19:32,784
Yeah, she is...
478
00:19:32,869 --> 00:19:33,921
for now.
479
00:19:34,043 --> 00:19:36,149
Wow, I really thought the chicken
480
00:19:36,271 --> 00:19:39,101
playing piano was going to be
the highlight of the night.
481
00:19:40,525 --> 00:19:43,355
You're not really being
serious, are you, Aunt Jackie?
482
00:19:43,441 --> 00:19:45,102
You stopped her, right? Come on.
483
00:19:45,103 --> 00:19:46,397
God, you guys just don't get it.
484
00:19:46,398 --> 00:19:48,301
You guys don't understand how beautiful
485
00:19:48,302 --> 00:19:53,122
it is to see an old, frail
woman get on a train alone
486
00:19:53,244 --> 00:19:55,390
and not know where she's going.
487
00:19:55,513 --> 00:19:59,766
I mean, I don't think
I've ever seen her happier.
488
00:19:59,767 --> 00:20:02,235
Sure, because she thinks
she's on a train to Marrakesh
489
00:20:02,236 --> 00:20:04,464
with Crosby, Stills, and Nash.
490
00:20:04,586 --> 00:20:06,207
She wasn't just leaving.
491
00:20:06,328 --> 00:20:10,135
She was giving me the gift
of closure and release
492
00:20:10,257 --> 00:20:11,756
from responsibility.
493
00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:13,018
I'm tracking her phone.
494
00:20:13,019 --> 00:20:15,036
If she gets into trouble,
I can go get her.
495
00:20:15,037 --> 00:20:18,278
I swear, you people,
you couldn't appreciate
496
00:20:18,399 --> 00:20:20,627
something profound and moving if it
497
00:20:20,749 --> 00:20:22,247
was right in front of you.
498
00:20:22,369 --> 00:20:23,422
[scoffs] Oh, yeah?
499
00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:24,879
You might feel differently
when you see what's
500
00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:26,020
going on in the kitchen.
501
00:20:26,055 --> 00:20:27,918
[piano notes plunking]
502
00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:29,863
Well, that's the most ridicul...
503
00:20:29,984 --> 00:20:33,144
It takes two chickens
to peck out "Heart and Soul."
504
00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:35,048
[piano notes plunking]
505
00:20:36,222 --> 00:20:38,167
[piano notes plunking]
506
00:20:38,289 --> 00:20:41,083
[bluesy rock music]
507
00:20:41,205 --> 00:20:48,091
? ?
508
00:21:00,851 --> 00:21:02,148
[child giggles]
509
00:21:02,198 --> 00:21:06,748
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