All language subtitles for The Love Boat S08E17 Ace Takes the Test The Counterfeit Couple The Odd Triple 1080p PMTP WEB-DL AAC2 0 H 264-BTN (1)_track3_[eng]

[MUSIC - JACK JONES, "LOVE BOAT
THEME"]

[SINGING] Love,
exciting and new.

Come aboard, we're
expecting you.

And love, life's
sweetest reward.

Let it flow, it
floats back to you.

The Love Boat, soon we'll
be making another run.

The Love Boat, promises
something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure
your mind on a new romance.

And love, won't hurt anymore.

It's an open smile
on a friendly shore.

It's love.

Welcome aboard, it's love.

[music playing]

Hello.

I'm Annette Henshaw, and
this is my daughter Susie.

Um, is there an
information desk?

Well, that's my department.

I'm Judy McCoy, the
cruise director.

Well great.

So what does a girl do
for fun on the ship?

That's actually my department.

I'm the purser, Purser Smith.

I'm also the fun director.

Well, we're on the Aloha Deck.

Um, is that near
the purser's office?

If not, I'll move it.

[laughter]

Susie, I think it's time
we got settled in our cabin.

I'll see you
both on the cruise.

- Yeah, we'll be here.
- OK.

Thank you.

Bye.

Uh, darling?

Darling, I really think
I should warn you.

Isn't he cute?

Yes, he's cute.

But you also thought your
first husband was cute.

And he wasn't so cute
in court, was he?

Yeah Mom, I
guess you're right.

You know Susie,
you've just come

through a very messy
divorce, and I don't

want you to get hurt again.

So let's, uh-- let's keep
a low profile with men, OK?

OK, Mom.

I'll promise.

Welcome aboard.

- Hello.
- Hi.

Hello.

You are?

I'm Mr., um--

I'm Mr. Blatnick, Lyle Blatnick.

Ah, the honeymoon couple.

We've been expecting you.

Honeymoon couple?

Oh!

Oh right, sure.

So congratulations.

We always try to make
honeymoons extra special.

Of course, naturally.

So do I.

So where's the blushing bride?

Oh, uh, probably out blushing.

[laughter]

Excuse me.

Uh, where do I check in?

I'm Barbara Blatnick.

Oh, speak of the devil.

Uh, what my daughter
means, Mrs. Blatnick,

is that we hope that
you and your groom

have a wonderful honeymoon.

My groom?

Well, I hardly recognized
you either without the veil.

[laughter]

Vicki, why don't you
show Mr. and Mrs. Bratnick

to the honeymoon suites?

Sure, I'd love to.

And after that,
you're on your own.

Now wait a minute--

Oh, isn't that typical?

The nervous bride.

After you.

Bye-bye.

There he is, the one
taking the picture.

Thank you very much.

Enjoy your cruise.

What do you think?

Ah, he don't look
like much to me.

Ace?

ACE: Donna!
Ha!

Donna Dresen!

I don't bel--
Oh!

Oh!

Sorry.

That's, uh-- that's OK.

You rarely change, Donna.

Oh yes I have.

It's not Dresen
anymore, it's Braddock.

This is my husband, Gus.

Gus, this is Ace Evans.

Gus, nice to to meet you.

Oh!

[laughter]

Kinda puny grip.

[laughter]

Uh, Gus and his brothers
are in the moving business.

I can see that.

You just moved a few
bones in my hand.

Whoa.

Uh, this is Adam Bricker,
the ship's doctor.

Uh, Isaac does
all my handshaking.

Ah, this is Isaac
Washington, chief barman.

Oh, I-- I need all
my fingers for my work.

This here is, uh--

I'm Kim Carlisle,
the sports director.

I'll try one.

[laughter]

I, uh-- I kinda took it easy.

Yeah, me too.

Gee Donna, this really
is a terrific surprise

seeing you here.

Oh, well it's not
a surprise to us.

We came aboard
specifically to see you.

Me?

GUS: Yeah.

We'd kinda like you
to do us a favor.

Oh?

We'll tell you about it later.

Come on.

See you later, Ace!

OK.

I wonder what kind of
favor they want from me.

Do me a favor, Ace.

Sure.

Whatever it is, say yes.

LYLE BLATNICK: That
seems to be the story.

We're all in the
same travel club,

and the Blatnicks were
obviously going on this cruise

for their honeymoon.

And-- and they must have broken
up, so he sold his ticket to me

and she sold hers to you.

So that's why I got
the ticket so cheap.

Yeah, same with me.

Well, what do we do now?

I-- I hardly know you.

I can't stay here,
it wouldn't be right.

Well why not?

We're on our honeymoon.

That's funny.

Look, we can still enjoy
the cruise separately.

You go your way, I'll go mine.

Nobody has to know.

OK?

Well, all right.

What?

- What?
- What is this?

You always keep a
quarter in your ear?

[laughter]
Yeah?

Oh you like that, eh?
- That's cute.

Well, thanks.

So are you.

[knocking]

Who is it?

ISAAC: Isaac Washington,
your chief barman.

Ah!

To the newlyweds, compliments
of the cruise line.

And don't worry,
I'm out of here.

Well--

[laughter]

Well, we-- we
can't accept this.

We've got to send it back.

What, and get us
thrown off the ship--

Mrs. Blatnick?

Oh.

OK.

Pop your cork, Mr. Blatnick.

[laughter]

[horn blowing]

[music playing]

Uh, excuse me, ladies.

Can I take a picture please?
Here we go.

Big smiles.

That's it.

Great.

Ah.

[laughter]

Well, thank you.

Enjoy your cruise.

Ace!

Come on over.

Sit there.

Whoops.

Whoops.

I remember.

Used to be your favorite word.

[laughter]

Do you remember
what a great time

we used to have in your dad's
luncheonette after school?

Oh, I had such a
big crush on you then.

That was a long time ago, honey.

So fill me in, huh?

What's been happening?

Well, nothing real exciting--

till last year.

That's when Gus
and I got married.

You've got a great
gal there, Gus.

Yeah.

Let's arm wrestle.

Hm?

Oh, go ahead Ace.

It's Gus's hobby.

Oh.

That must be a fun
hobby, especially

when you're home by yourself.

[laughter]

- Set?
- Yeah.

Go.

[laughter]

That was fun.

[laughter]

[whimpering]

[music playing]

Mother and daughter.

Beautiful.

Oh.

It's you, Gopher.

Please sit down.

Thank you.

We were just feeling lonely.

Oh, well that happens to
be on my duty roster also.

I'm in charge of
loneliness on the ship.

So how about having
dinner with me tonight?

Oh, I'd love it!

Susie.

Don't think me rude, but Susie's
just gone through a divorce.

And we took this cruise so we
could spend some time together.

I mean, I-- I hope
you'll understand.

Of course I understand.

But I thought that the three of
us would have dinner tonight--

and Mr. Henshaw
if he's on board.

Well, I've been a
widow for some time.

SUSIE: Come on mama, let's go.

We'll have a good time.

[sighing]

8 o'clock?

Oh, that's perfect.

All right.

Well, all right.

He is so polite.

So was your ex-husband.

Mr. Blatnick?

I'd like to invite
you and Mrs. Blatnick

to join me at my table
for dinner tonight.

We have a special
surprise for you newlyweds.

Well, thank you.

Thanks.

This-- this cruise is just
one surprise after another.

- Well, we'll see you at 8:00.
- Right.

Thank you.
- Goodbye.

Being your husband is
really cramping my style.

Well, we'll soon
be in Mexico and we

can get a quickie divorce.

[laughter]

Cute.

[music playing]

KIM CARLISLE: Three, four.

And one, two, three, four.

Up two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

Go up two, three,
four, five, six, seven.

Go down and one, two, three,
four, five, six, seven, eight.

Take a break.

All right.

Watch out for
that wet spot, hon.

Ho!

[laughter]

Hi.

How's it going?

Great, until now.

I, uh--

I wanna try something
new with you.

Ha.

Look, my hand and
my arm are just

getting back to normal, OK?

Nah, it's got something
to do with your mind.

Oh no, don't hurt my mind.

[laughter]

It's just a riddle, Ace.

Oh?

OK.

Now, if an electric train is
moving east at 50 miles an hour

and the wind's blowing south
at 40, which way does the smoke

go?

There's no smoke
from an electric train.

Yes!

He got it right!

Yeah.

Probably just a lucky guess.

[laughter]

Let's go.

[music playing]

Find out what they want yet?

No, not yet.

But whatever it is, I think
I flunked the physical.

But I passed the logic.

[laughter]

[music playing]

[knocking]

Thank you.

Should I have tipped him?

These must be from Gopher.

Then they must be trouble.

Here's the card, and it
says they're from Gopher.

And it's for the two of us.

Oh no.

What?

Something wrong?

First he includes
mother in dinner.

Then he includes
mother in the roses.

You think he's trying
to soften you up?

Trying to?

I think he already has.

[laughter]

[music playing]

WOMAN [ON PA]: Attention
ladies and gentlemen.

Tonight is Chinese Night
in the Coral dining room.

Join us for a tempting
selection of delicacies

from the Far East.

And don't forget
the fortune cookies.

Everything looks so inviting.

Hm.

Hey, uh, aren't yo
gonna look at the menu?

Oh no, I know what I want.

Look at the menu.

And, uh, read this right here.

Gus?

It's OK, hon.

Can you read this?

Yes.

Moo goo gai pan.

Are you sure?

Yes, I'm sure.

And my hearing is perfect too.

[laughter]

All right, look, will you please
tell me what this is all about?

Hm?

You'll find out tonight.

Well.

Well hello.

Well hello.

I'm glad you're already here.

Where's your mother?

She'll be down in a second.

Gopher, the flowers
were perfect.

- No kidding?
- Yes.

Mm-hmm.

You're winning her over.

I'm glad to hear that.

She's a little
bit worried, though.

She feels that I'm
desperate to meet a man.

Are you?

Well, I want to
meet the right one.

And if he happens to
be here on the cruise,

then I'm afraid that
man, whoever he might be,

is gonna have to do his pursuing
without my mother around.

If someone said your
mother was not around,

someone was mistaken.

- Hi Mom.
- Hi.

Good evening.

Good evening.

I think you should know
I consider myself the most

fortunate of men tonight,
dining with the two most

charming ladies on the ship.

Well thank you, kind sir.

Thank you.

And I thought that maybe later--

do a little dancing.

I love it.

Mrs. Henshaw?

Oh!

Well, if I'm going to
be your dancing partner,

why don't you call me Annette?

Annette.

Ladies and gentlemen,
I'd like to offer

a toast to our newlyweds,
Mr. and Mrs. Lyle Blatnick.

Hear-hear!

How long have you
two been married?

Six days.

Six weeks.

[laughter]

Six weeks.

Six days.

Well, we-- we, uh--

we met-- we met six
weeks ago and we-- we got

married six days ago.

Yes, yes.

I guess we felt married
from the moment we met.

[laughter]

That's beautiful.

But where did you meet?

Uh, San--

- San--
- --Diego.

--Francisco.

[SINGING] Ah, yes,
they remember it well.

[laughter]

Well actually, we
met in San Francisco.

Fell in love in San Diego.

Right.

How sweet.

And here we are.

Well, we didn't know if
you two had a big wedding,

so we thought you should
have a big wedding cake.

Oh, how nice.

Thank you.

Hey!

They're not even married!

I saw this guy last week on a
different cake with a redhead!

[laughter]

[music playing]

That's the guy that's driving
Ace up the wall, Captain.

He wants something from Ace
but he won't say what it is.

Well, couldn't Ace
simply demand to know?

Have you ever shaken
hands with Gus, sir?

No.

Believe me, it's
much better this way.

[laughter]

So, uh, this guy's--

he's OK?

Oh, yeah.

He's wonderful.

He's-- well, he's
kind and caring,

and he's very sensitive too.

OK.

I just wanted to make sure.

[cracking]

Sorry.

That's OK, I'm
getting used to it.

But what I can't get used to
is Gus testing me all the time.

Now why is he doing it?

Please trust me, Ace.

You'll find out.

Mm.

And, uh, I know
you've passed the test.

Oh, great.

I have all the answers.

Now I just need the questions.

[laughter]

[cracking]

Again?

Again.

[music playing]

OK.

We've, uh, had our dinner.

We had our dance.

And now we've had
our little walk.

Now will you tell me
what's on your mind?

Hm?

Gus?

Look Evans, I had to
check you out, right?

You'll never make no moving
man, but, uh, you'll do.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'll do for what?

Ace, there are five Braddock
brothers including Gus.

That's right.

And all my brothers got no
less than six kids apiece.

DONNA: Gus and I
have been married

for a year now, and, uh--

And, uh, zilch.

Zilch?

Yeah, zilch.

Zip.

Numero none.

You know?

No kids.

And, uh, well, my family's
starting to look at me like--

you know.

The, uh, problem seems
to, uh, lie with Gus.

So, uh, we decided on
artificial insemination!

Oh.

Well, it seems like,
um, a-- a good idea.

Oh, we wanted
everything to be right,

the perfect person
to be the donor.

So I recommended you.

[laughter]

[music playing]

Me?

Y-- you want me to--

DONNA: Oh, yes.

We thought we'd all
go to a hospital

where they do artificial
insemination and then, uh--

Me?

DONNA: Yes.

Oh, but don't worry, because
at the hospital they, um--

They--
GUS: Yeah, right.

It doesn't take that long.

And then after
we're done, we, uh--

We?

No, we have a beautiful child.

Uh-- gee, I, uh--

I don't know what to say.

I mean, when most people
ask for a favor, they--

they want to borrow money.

Oh, no, no.

It's not money we're after.

Yeah, I know.

Oh, I know.

Look, why don't we talk
about this tomorrow?

Well what's wrong
with right now?

Not tonight.

I, uh-- I have a headache.

[laughter]

[music playing]

[chatter]

Lyle, do you mind if I
ask you something personal?

Shoot.

Well, maybe I'm a
romantic, but it just

seems that on your
honeymoon, shouldn't

you be dancing with your wife?

[laughter]

Yeah, you're right.

Well, it's the lone
honeymooner to the rescue.

[laughter]

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Hi.

Excuse me, I-- I am
the lady's husband.

[laughter]

Thank you.

It's the least
the groom could do.

It's hard to dance with
a man who has six hands.

[laughter]

It looks like we're stuck
together again, Mrs. Blatnick.

Well, lead the
way, Mr. Blatnick.

OK.

[music playing]

Yes.

Oh!

Look at those stars.

It's a lovely night.

Very romantic.

But a little chilly for me.

I'm gonna go get a sweater.

Mama, do you want one?

No thank you, dear.

Now, you keep a
close eye on Gopher.

I don't want him
falling overboard.

I'll be right back.

She's a wonderful girl.

Yes.

Gopher, do me me a favor.

What?

Go easy on Susie.

She wants to fall
in love so quickly,

and I'm afraid she finds
you terribly attractive.

Did she say that?

Oh, she didn't have to.

[music playing]

That was fun.

I had a good time this evening.

Same here.
Same here.

I haven't spent much time
with a girl like you.

Oh?

Well, a woman like you.

Oh, thank you.

You're lovely.

Thank you.

What are you doing?

Getting undressed for bed.

Now wait a minute.

Pretending to be
married is one thing,

but spending the night in
the same room is another.

So what am I supposed
to do, sleep out on deck?

Well, one of us has to.

I tell you what.

We will let the cards decide.

All right?

Highest card wins.

You're putting me on.

No, no.

I'm serious.

Now, if I win, then we
both get to stay here.

And if I win?

Well, then I find
someplace else to sleep.

Go ahead.
- Oh, that sounds fair.

OK.

[music playing]

[laughter]

OK.

You can stay.

But you get the couch.

[laughter]

Oh.

How nice.

Yes.

Let's see if this fits here.

[laughter]

Oh, by the way, uh,
sometimes I walk in my sleep.

Oh, that's OK.

I sometimes kick in mine.

[laughter]

And then it took me
about another five years

to make purser.

So I figure then I'll
probably make captain

by the time I'm, oh, 89?

[laughter]

- Thank you.
- You bet.

Goodnight.

Goodnight, Mama.

Goodnight, darling.

Goodnight.

Now not too late, you two.

Yes, Mom.

[laughter]

So, um, how about
a little night cap?

Oh, it's getting a
little late, I think.

I know.

You don't want to upset my mama.

That's right, yeah.

Goodnight.

I'll see you tomorrow, OK?

Until tomorrow.

Yes ma'am.

[music playing]

Gopher.

Is something wrong?

No, no.

I just wanted you
to know that I'm not

going to put the rush on Susie.

Thank you.

I really appreciate that.

[music playing]

Because it's you
I'm crazy about.

[music playing]

- Oh!
- What?

What happened?
What?

What happened?

You happened, that's
what happened!

What are you doing in my bed?

Well, it's our cabin,
so I guess it's our bed.

Yeah, but as of last night it
was my bed, it was your couch.

It was cold there.

And you were so warm.

You, uh-- you looked so warm.

Actually, you were so warm.

I snuck a hug.

Just a small one.

Oh?

Just to take the chill away.

Well, um, if your body
temperature is back to normal,

why don't we go have breakfast?

I hear it's nice.

They serve it out on deck.

Oh, no.

No?

No, you can't go out on deck.

Why?

Well, there's
a terrible storm.

[laughter]

I don't hear any thunder.

Well sure.

Listen to my heart.

You hear anything?

Yes.

And I think it's my
own heart that I hear.

[music playing]

Sometimes it storms indoors.

Yeah?

Oh, yeah.

WOMAN [ON PA]: May I have
your attention, please?

This morning's
breakfast buffet is now

being served on the Lido Deck.

Well, there you are.

Good morning.

Good morning, darling.

I got up a little early.

I didn't want to wake you.

Did you sleep all right?

Oh, fair.

I had a few things on my mind.

Well, I hope you weren't
worried about Gopher and me.

Gopher and you?

Honestly, no.

GOPHER: Morning, ladies.

Good morning.

I thought maybe after
breakfast I might give you

both a little tour of the ship.

Well Susie, why don't-- why
don't you go along with Gopher?

OK.

Come on, let's go.

Uh, Annette, don't
you want to go too?

She said she didn't.

We can go.

She's finally giving
us her blessing.

We don't need to
look for trouble.

[music playing]

Artificial insemination?

Yeah.

That's what Ace told me.

And they want him
to be the donor.

Boy, when those people ask for
a favor, they don't kid around.

Yeah.

He said he was up all
night thinking about it.

But he hasn't decided.

Oh, poor guy.

Look at him.

He hasn't even
touched his breakfast.

I think he's having
morning sickness.

[laughter]

Aren't you gonna eat, Ace?

Uh, yeah.

Yep.

Uh, butter?

Ah, yes.

Thank you.

How about some syrup?

Yes, thank you.

But it's no thank you on
the artificial insemination.

Oh.

Look, I'd like to
do a favor for you,

but this isn't like
rotating your tires.

[laughter]

We were hoping--

ACE: Look, I like you.

Even you, Gus.

[laughter]

I think.

But when it-- when it comes to
fatherhood, this isn't anything

I've ever thought of before.

You think it was easy
for me to ask you, Evans?

I mean, knowing Gus Braddock
hasn't got what it takes.

Gus, you're wonderful.

It really isn't that important.

GUS: Yeah, it is
important having kids.

I love kids.

I want kids.

I had to bend some to
consider you, Evans.

But Donna thought over all
the guys she grew up with

and decided it had to be you.

Ah, forget it.

[music playing]

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, Donna.

No, it's not your fault, Ace.

It's nobody's fault. It's just--

sad.

- Hey.
- Hm?

You awake?

Mm-hmm.

Let's go eat breakfast.

Better make that lunch.

How about just staying here
and getting to know each other?

I thought we got to know each
other pretty well this morning.

Come on.

I'm starved.

OK, whatever you say.

[music playing]

[laughter]

You-- you fraud!

You singles bar reject!

You tricked me last night.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Let me explain.

You know, I thought
you were special.

I thought we were special.

But now I see you're just
another guy with a good line

with his hormones in overdrive.

Barbara, will you
please listen to me?

BARBARA: I feel like a fool.

"Sometimes it storms indoors."

Well, you can turn
off the charm.

You scored.

[music playing]

Oh, you had a change of heart.

Yes.

You cheated, you leave.

No, no.
No, Barb--

Yes.

Bye!

[laughter]

Hey, Barbara.

Barbara?

Don't Barbara me.

B--

[laughter]

Purser.

Purser?

Purser?

[laughter]

[music playing]

CAPTAIN STUBING [ON
PA]: Bienvenidos,

ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome to fabulous
Puerto Vallarta, the fun

capital of the Mexican Riviera.

Glittering beaches, colorful
shops, and tantalizing

seafood dishes await you.

Have a wonderful day.

[music playing]

Gus?

We've talked about adopting.

We don't have to have our own.

Yes we do, doll.

In my family, you get married,
you take a two-week honeymoon,

and then if your wife doesn't
give you a baby in nine months,

they buy you sequin pumps.

[laughter]

Well, then let me
talk to Ace again.

I'm sure I can convince him.

Well, why is he so important?

Well, if you
can't be the father,

I think Ace would be perfect.

Yeah, maybe too perfect.

Gus!

OK.

But who gets the neck
tie on Father's Day?

Oh.

[music playing]

Oh, it's gonna
be a beautiful day.

One for the books.

Honeymooners.

Oh, your wife went that way.

Thanks.

Sweetheart?

[laughter]

Oh, they're so in love.

Will you give me
a chance to explain?

Why should I?

You tricked me.

Guilty, but with
extenuating circumstances.

Well I'm not interested.

All right, look.

Fate got us into the
same room together,

now why not let fate decide?

- Fine.
- All right?

OK.

Now heads you let me
explain, tails you don't.

Mm-hmm.

Just as I thought, two heads.

[laughter]

Annette!

Wait!

Gopher please, I'm
on my way to town.

Just wait a minute, OK?

Where's Susie?

She's getting a manicure.

I told her I had an
appointment with the captain.

Ah, then you don't
want to be late.

Wait a minute.

I said that because
it was an excuse.

I wanted to see you.

Annette, I think I'm
falling in love with you.

Oh, but you can't be.

It's impossible.

It is not impossible.

You are lovely and I want
to be with you constantly.

And I think that you
want to be with me.

Oh Gopher, I like
you as a friend,

but I'm not looking for a lover.

Is this about our ages?

Well, you are a
few years my junior.

Oh Annette, come on.

These days an older woman and a
younger man-- that's accepted.

I am not about to head
into a serious relationship

simply because it's fashionable.

But then what is it?

Well, for one thing, Susie
has a tremendous crush on you.

And I am not about to steal a
man away from my own daughter.

I see.

I thought you would.

That's good, Annette.

That makes perfect sense.

But what about us?

Whether you admit it or not, we
have feelings for each other,

and we should at least
explore what they are!

Now that makes
perfect sense to me!

Purser Smith, my
answer is final.

No.

No.

[music playing]

[music playing]

Need a shoulder?

He's arrogant,
superficial, and devious.

That calls for
three shoulders.

In spite of all that, I
bet you still love him.

Yes.

The problem is, when he wants
to explain why he tricks me,

he uses another trick.

He doesn't need me.

He needs a magician's assistant.

CAPTAIN STUBING: But he
does want to explain.

Even if it is a
trick, I'm sure he's

doing it with good intentions.

But I don't know if he
has any good intentions.

You'll never know unless
you give him a chance.

[music playing]

[chatter]

Goph!

Hi, Doc.

All this moonlight and alone?

I thought you had a girl.

Seem to have two.

Whoops.

Double oops.

Well, take it from a man who's
lived, loved, lost, learned--

maybe-- and paid
a lot of alimony--

level with both of them and let
the chips fall where they may.

Tell the truth?

As an expert on
falling chips, yeah.

- Gopher.
- Hi.

I haven't seen you all day.

Yeah.

You must have spent a lot
of time with the captain.

Yes.

No.

I didn't spend any
time with the captain.

I didn't even speak to him.

What?

Susie, I think
you're a terrific girl,

and I hope that
we can still be--

Friends.

I'm in love with
another woman.

Oh.

Well, who's the lucky lady?

[door opening and closing]

Susie?

Hi darling.

You're back early.

Yes I am.

Did you find Gopher?

Oh, I found him all right.

But it looks like
you found him first.

Darling, what is it?

Oh, as if you didn't know.

Mama, don't lie to me.

At least Gopher--
he had the decency

to be honest about you and him.

What did he tell you?

You know, it all
makes sense now.

"Don't rush into anything too
quickly" you kept telling me.

And never-- never allow
me to be alone with him.

All because you wanted
him all to yourself.

Darling, that's not true.

[music playing]

WOMAN [ON PA]:
Ladies and gentlemen,

it's time to say adios to
the palm-fringed beaches

of Puerto Vallarta.

May tropical night breezes
speed us on our way home.

Next stop, Port of Los Angeles.

Have you seen Donna?

She was headed
toward Ace's cabin.

How long ago was that?

Hours ago.

That's how long I've
been looking for her.

Isn't that the guy that
wanted a favor from Ace?

Yeah.

And by look on
his face, it's Ace

who's gonna need the favor--

from Doc.

[music playing]

[loud knocking]

GUS: Open up!

Yeah, just a sec.

Uh, come on in.

Oh.

Aha!

Just like I thought,
stark naked!

No, I'm stark toweled.

I was just in the shower.

Where's Donna?

She's not here.

Yeah, she was on her
way here hours ago.

Well, she never arrived!

[laughter]

Yeah.

You expect me to believe that?

Yeah.

Yeah, I-- I do.

I know you're in
here somewhere, Donna.

[laughter]

I figure she wants you to
be the father of her child,

uh, first hand.

Gus, I mean,
that's ridiculous.

Come on, Gus.

[faric tearing]

She's not in there.

If you had asked me, I
could have told you that.

[phone ringing]

[laughter]

Yeah?

Ace here.

Oh.

You mean the guy from
the wrecking company?

Yeah.

It's for you.

And listen, don't rip it out.

It's the only phone I've got.

Yeah?

Gus Braddock.

What?

Where?

The infirmary?

I'll be right there.

What's the matter?

It's Donna.

She's hurt.

Well come on, let's go.

I'm coming with you.

Damn.

[laughter]

All right.

Call it.

Tails, you get a
chance to explain.

Heads, you don't.

I can't win.

That's a two-headed coin.

No, no.

Look.

It's an ordinary quarter.

Then you were
being honest with me.

Yes.

So why don't you
be honest with me?

All right.

I-- I used the rigged
deck last night because I

was afraid of losing you.

In my own strange, dishonest
way, you're the first woman I--

I ever have been honest with.

I don't follow you.

I love you.

Well, that's a lot easier.

[music playing]

GUS: Are you feeling OK, hon?

Fine.

I tripped on the deck.

You know what a klutz I am.

Uh, you didn't
trip, Mrs. Braddock.

You fainted.

I ran some tests on you.

You're pregnant.

DONNA: Pregnant?

GUS: Say that again, Doc.

DR. BRICKER: Pregnant,
as in expectant parents.

We're gonna have a kid!

Oh, a baby of our own!

Isn't it wonderful?

Oh, thank you, Doc.

Don't thank me.

Thank Gus.

I'm just in charge
of announcements.

[laughter]

[knocking]

Uh, may I, uh, come in?

Oh Ace, wait till you
hear the great news.

I'm gonna be a daddy.

Congratulations.

Oh, I guess you two
don't need a donor now.

Nah.

We do just fine the
old fashioned way.

Well listen, if you
do have a baby boy, you

better name him after--

Gus.

[laughter]

[music playing]

Oh Susie, darling.

What happened with Gopher came
as a total surprise to me.

I never gave him the least
bit of encouragement.

Oh honey, I was polite to him.

I mean, that's all.

Because I thought he liked you.

And most important,
because you liked him.

He said he was
in love with you.

Oh honey, that's
the way he feels.

I told him I didn't
feel the same way.

Didn't he tell you?

No.

Actually, I really didn't
give him the chance.

But what you said about
Gopher, is it true?

You like him, don't you?

Does that matter?

And you were gonna
let me have him.

Oh honey, I'm not going
to try to take him away

if he meant that much to you.

Oh mama.

You know, maybe you have been
worrying too much about me.

And goodness knows,
I've been so busy

trying to put the right man
in my life, that I have--

I have had blinders on.

But what about the
right man in your life?

Well, I have to admit, I
do find Gopher appealing.

Right.

[laughter]

You're gonna
have to excuse me.

What is that saying, Mama?

Uh, three's a crowd.

Evening.

Hope I'm not
interrupting anything.

You've got quite a daughter
there, you know that?

No, wait a minute.

No, I said that wrong.

Um, Susie has quite a mother.

I like the sound
of that, Gopher.

I truly do.

[music playing]

[music playing]

Come see us again.

- Bye-bye.
- Goodbye.

So long.

Thanks for sailing with us.

Thank you for a
wonderful cruise.

Now, you're the most unusual
honeymooners we've ever had.

Yes.

Well, I'm-- I'm real sorry
about the little deception.

We really should've told
you right from the start.

Well, you paid
for your tickets,

whatever your names were.

[laughter]

But someone owes $86.

Wedding cakes aren't
cheap, you know.

Don't worry, Isaac,
we'll pay for it ourselves.

And we really are
gonna get married too.

That's right.

Well, congratulations.

And don't worry about
the newlywed stage,

you've been through it already.

Yes.

[laughter]
- See you later.

- Bye-bye.
- So long.

Take care.

Bye.

This has been an
incredible experience for me.

Well, it doesn't
have to end, you know.

I plan to see a lot more of you.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

And how often does this
ship come to Kentucky?

I'll speak to the captain.

Goodbye Judy.

Thank you so much.

You're welcome.

Bye-bye.

Bye-Bye

Kentucky.

[laughter]

I am so glad everything
worked out OK for you two.

Oh, thanks.

And thanks to all of you.

Especially you, Doc.

Oh, I'm glad I could help.

And when that baby
does arrive, don't

forget to send me a cigar.

Hey, the way they
grow kids in my family,

I'll send you a whole truckload.

Sorry for all the trouble
we put you through, Ace.

Oh hey, it was no problem.

And listen, if you two
ever want a favor again,

don't call me, OK?

[laughter]

You've got a deal.

All right.

[laughter]

[music playing]

[music playing]