All language subtitles for The Love Boat S08E11 My Mother My Chaperone The Present The Death and Life of Sir Alfred Demerest 1 1080p PMTP WEB-DL AAC2 0 H 264-BTN (1)_track3_[eng]

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,252 [theme song] 2 00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:18,727 THEME SONG: Love, exciting and new. 3 00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:19,728 Come aboard. 4 00:00:22,605 --> 00:00:26,609 We're expecting you. 5 00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:34,534 And love, life's sweetest reward. 6 00:00:34,617 --> 00:00:35,201 Let it flow. 7 00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:42,959 It floats back to you. 8 00:00:43,042 --> 00:00:50,133 The Love Boat soon will be making another run. 9 00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:59,058 The Love Boat promises something for everyone. 10 00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:03,396 Set a course for adventure, your mind on a new romance. 11 00:01:07,609 --> 00:01:14,032 And love won't hurt anymore. 12 00:01:14,115 --> 00:01:22,499 It's an open smile on a friendly shore. 13 00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:24,292 It's love. 14 00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:28,505 Welcome aboard. 15 00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:30,882 It's love. 16 00:01:51,402 --> 00:01:52,695 [CHATTER AND DISHWARE 17 00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:59,702 CLINKING] 18 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,287 Mmm, mmm. 19 00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:02,831 Isaac, good choice. 20 00:02:02,914 --> 00:02:06,167 It's a winsome little wine. 21 00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:09,420 It's subtle, yet yielding. 22 00:02:09,504 --> 00:02:11,172 Well, you can't really go wrong 23 00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:13,383 with a chateauneuf du pape. 24 00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:15,385 Hey, does anyone know why the captain 25 00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:15,885 invited us here tonight? 26 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:17,428 I don't know. 27 00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:19,222 He's been really mysterious lately. 28 00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:22,058 Well, if I know Merrill, he wouldn't invite us 29 00:02:22,141 --> 00:02:24,561 to a four-star restaurant unless he had something 30 00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:25,895 really big to tell us. 31 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:26,896 Yeah. 32 00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:29,065 He probably wants us to pick up the check. 33 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,900 Please, not even as a joke. 34 00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:33,653 Well, it's got to be one of two things. 35 00:02:33,736 --> 00:02:35,697 Either he's going to tell us how great we are 36 00:02:35,780 --> 00:02:40,743 and give us all huge raises or-- 37 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:42,579 Or? 38 00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:44,080 It's something else. 39 00:02:44,163 --> 00:02:45,456 Place your bets, folks. 40 00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:48,459 Looks like we're about to find out. 41 00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:50,295 If you'll all sit down, I'll join you in a minute. 42 00:02:56,718 --> 00:02:58,344 Hello, everyone. 43 00:02:58,428 --> 00:02:59,762 Hello, Merrill. 44 00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:02,473 Merrill, who are those people? 45 00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:06,185 Well, uh, the one next to the empty chair is Purser Hinton. 46 00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:11,274 And next to him are Dr. Barnes and ship's 47 00:03:11,357 --> 00:03:14,110 photographer Whitfield. 48 00:03:14,193 --> 00:03:18,406 And on their left are Chief Barman McManus, 49 00:03:18,489 --> 00:03:19,824 and Cruise Director Shelton. 50 00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:21,910 Uh, sir, that's all fine. 51 00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:26,247 But who are those people? 52 00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:27,498 They're your replacements. 53 00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:28,625 Oh, no. They couldn't be. 54 00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:29,208 What? What are you-- 55 00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:29,959 Are you kidding? 56 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,711 No wonder the fancy dinner. 57 00:03:31,794 --> 00:03:32,295 This isn't a dinner. 58 00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:33,296 It's the Last Supper. 59 00:03:33,379 --> 00:03:34,881 ISAAC: I guess it's true what they say. 60 00:03:34,964 --> 00:03:36,591 Nothing good lasts forever. 61 00:03:36,674 --> 00:03:38,384 Forever. 62 00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:41,179 I just set a record for the world's shortest career. 63 00:03:41,262 --> 00:03:41,846 Yeah. 64 00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:42,680 That makes two of us. 65 00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:45,058 When it comes to photographers, you 66 00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:45,475 can call me a flash in the pan. 67 00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:47,518 Yeah. 68 00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:48,895 I'm surprised they didn't find you a new daughter. 69 00:03:48,978 --> 00:03:49,687 Captain Stubing. 70 00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:50,521 Oh. 71 00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:52,315 Captain Johanssen. - Good evening. 72 00:03:52,398 --> 00:03:53,232 Good evening. 73 00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:54,692 And I see that my group has arrived. 74 00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:56,986 That's right. 75 00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:58,321 I'll speak with you and your crew members in just a minute. 76 00:03:58,404 --> 00:03:59,030 Ah. 77 00:03:59,113 --> 00:03:59,572 [non-english]. 78 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:01,491 Goodbye. 79 00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:02,325 Goodbye. 80 00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:10,083 Uh, Captain, did I hear you say his crew members? 81 00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:11,960 That's right. 82 00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:14,629 Captain Johanssen has been sent here to replace me. 83 00:04:14,712 --> 00:04:15,672 Oh, I'm sorry, Merrill. 84 00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:18,424 Now, don't feel so bad. 85 00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:20,635 While they're replacing us, we're 86 00:04:20,718 --> 00:04:22,428 going to be replacing them. 87 00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:23,721 What? 88 00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:28,267 We're going to take the Royal Viking Sky to London and Paris. 89 00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:29,727 [excited chatter] 90 00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:31,854 The Picadilly Circus. 91 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,856 What about the Eiffel Tower? 92 00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,108 Fantastic. 93 00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:37,527 And you had us believing we were all fired. 94 00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:39,529 Well, I just thought you could use a little excitement 95 00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:40,780 in your lives. 96 00:04:40,863 --> 00:04:43,366 We're going to pick up the ship in Fort Lauderdale day 97 00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:44,200 after tomorrow. 98 00:04:44,283 --> 00:04:46,786 In that case, viva mon capitaine. 99 00:04:46,869 --> 00:04:48,621 Viva le France. 100 00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:49,706 Oui oui. 101 00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:51,374 To merry old England. 102 00:04:51,457 --> 00:04:52,458 [glasses clinking] 103 00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:31,330 All right, mother. 104 00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:32,081 We're finally here. 105 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,750 Now, will you tell me. 106 00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:35,960 Tell you what? 107 00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:38,921 You're holding out on me. 108 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:41,340 My darling, can't a mother take her son 109 00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:43,551 on a trip to Europe without hidden motive? 110 00:05:43,634 --> 00:05:44,927 Mother. 111 00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:47,555 Now, why so skeptical? 112 00:05:47,638 --> 00:05:52,060 Call it a present for two years of hard work, 113 00:05:52,143 --> 00:05:52,935 if you need a reason. 114 00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,395 Uh-huh. 115 00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,731 Mother, I'm going to be an actor. 116 00:05:56,814 --> 00:05:57,940 I'm dropping out of school, and I'm going to New York. 117 00:05:58,024 --> 00:05:59,942 You know that. 118 00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:01,486 I am fully aware of your intentions, Byron. 119 00:06:01,569 --> 00:06:04,447 And you're not going to talk me out of it, because you 120 00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:05,907 took me on some trip to Europe. 121 00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:07,450 I've made no bargains here. 122 00:06:07,533 --> 00:06:08,910 So if that's what's on your mind-- 123 00:06:08,993 --> 00:06:13,372 No, it's not. 124 00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:14,874 [phone ringing] 125 00:06:14,957 --> 00:06:17,960 Ah, this is a beautiful ship. 126 00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:20,129 What a beautiful ship. 127 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,714 Mother, you're holding out on me. 128 00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:25,051 Am I? 129 00:06:25,134 --> 00:06:25,843 Mother, dear. 130 00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:29,263 What is your intention? 131 00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:32,058 I want you to meet someone in London. 132 00:06:32,141 --> 00:06:33,559 I've written them a letter. 133 00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:34,977 Ah, who? 134 00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:38,564 All in good time, love. 135 00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:40,691 In good time. 136 00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:41,776 Excuse me. 137 00:06:41,859 --> 00:06:44,320 Can you tell us where cabin 81 is? 138 00:06:44,403 --> 00:06:45,613 Sure. 139 00:06:45,696 --> 00:06:47,907 Right up those stairs and to the left, and welcome aboard. 140 00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:48,950 - Oh, thank you. - Thank you. 141 00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:50,201 Thank you. 142 00:06:50,284 --> 00:06:53,371 We're all set to have a go at merry old England. 143 00:06:53,454 --> 00:06:55,331 It's the first time we've been to London since our honeymoon. 144 00:06:55,414 --> 00:06:57,708 Oh, then you should have a wonderful time 145 00:06:57,792 --> 00:06:58,668 reliving your memories. 146 00:07:05,049 --> 00:07:06,008 What are you looking at? 147 00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:06,425 Me? 148 00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:08,386 Oh, nothing. 149 00:07:08,469 --> 00:07:09,345 I saw you. 150 00:07:09,428 --> 00:07:10,680 You were looking at those pretty girls. 151 00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:11,848 Oh, no I wasn't. 152 00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:14,308 They just happened to pass through my line of vision. 153 00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:16,769 Over there? 154 00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:18,396 Sometimes I think your head is on a swivel. 155 00:07:28,364 --> 00:07:30,700 You're getting paid to be my secretary, you know, Samantha? 156 00:07:30,783 --> 00:07:34,370 Not nearly as much as I'd get if I weren't your daughter. 157 00:07:34,453 --> 00:07:36,205 A technicality. 158 00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:38,207 Lilly Marlowe. 159 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,208 And Samantha Gregory. 160 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:40,877 Promenade 132. 161 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:44,380 Is there somebody to direct us to our cabin? 162 00:07:44,463 --> 00:07:45,214 Yes. 163 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,549 It's right around that bend and-- 164 00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:50,178 excuse me, but are you the Lilly Marlowe 165 00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:53,055 who wrote "Mr. Right Knocks Once" and "Desire Under Lace?" 166 00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:55,558 What a charming girl. 167 00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:58,936 Samantha, make a note to get her an autographed copy of each. 168 00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:00,271 Oh, thank you. 169 00:08:00,354 --> 00:08:02,565 I've read both of those books 12 times. 170 00:08:02,648 --> 00:08:05,568 Dad, this is Lilly Marlowe, who wrote all 171 00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:07,737 those wonderful bestsellers. 172 00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:09,906 It's a great pleasure to have you aboard, Ms. Marlowe. 173 00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,240 I hope you have a pleasant trip. 174 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,910 I hope you do more than just hope, Captain. 175 00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:15,995 I'll do my best. 176 00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:16,454 So is-- 177 00:08:16,537 --> 00:08:17,663 Oh, I'm sorry. 178 00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:19,916 It's right through those doors. 179 00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:20,833 Samantha. 180 00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:21,626 Coming. 181 00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:26,255 Some tough boss you've got there. 182 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:29,425 She's even a tougher mother. 183 00:08:29,508 --> 00:08:30,259 [thud] 184 00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:31,761 Oh. Here, let me help you. 185 00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:32,178 No. I-- I can get it. 186 00:08:32,261 --> 00:08:33,596 [clatter] 187 00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:39,060 Samantha. 188 00:08:39,143 --> 00:08:41,145 Samantha, whenever you're ready. 189 00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:41,938 I'm sorry. 190 00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:42,730 I have to go. 191 00:08:45,024 --> 00:08:46,525 I'm sorry. 192 00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:51,948 So if you have any questions or there's anything I can do 193 00:08:52,031 --> 00:08:52,949 for you, just give me a call. 194 00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:53,449 Ladies. 195 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,284 Smile, please. 196 00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:56,410 [camera clicks] - Great. 197 00:08:56,494 --> 00:08:57,119 Thank you. 198 00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:57,954 Enjoy your cruise. 199 00:09:01,165 --> 00:09:02,208 You know, what you just told those two 200 00:09:02,291 --> 00:09:03,000 young ladies goes for me too. 201 00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:05,253 What's that? 202 00:09:05,336 --> 00:09:08,047 Well, I'm sort of the new kid on the block myself. 203 00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:09,423 I know what you're going through. 204 00:09:09,507 --> 00:09:11,217 Listen, if there's anything I can do. 205 00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:12,760 Thanks, Ace. 206 00:09:12,843 --> 00:09:15,513 I might take you up on that. 207 00:09:15,596 --> 00:09:17,181 You know, I try not to show it, but this job 208 00:09:17,265 --> 00:09:19,141 means everything to me. 209 00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:20,518 I know. 210 00:09:20,601 --> 00:09:22,520 As I said, I just went through the same thing myself. 211 00:09:22,603 --> 00:09:25,398 It's probably why I'm the only one who noticed. 212 00:09:35,616 --> 00:09:36,993 Can I help you? 213 00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:37,910 Oh, thank you. 214 00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:40,579 OK. 215 00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:42,915 Mr. John Neary. 216 00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:44,166 Mediterranean 117. 217 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,459 OK. 218 00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:48,963 Through those doors, two decks down, about midship. 219 00:09:49,046 --> 00:09:49,714 You're very helpful. 220 00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:02,893 I was hoping you went more for my type. 221 00:10:02,977 --> 00:10:05,229 Hmm. 222 00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:06,772 Until a few months ago, John Neary was my husband. 223 00:10:12,778 --> 00:10:14,030 [heavy sigh] 224 00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:14,739 [ship's horn] 225 00:10:37,553 --> 00:10:39,347 May I have your attention please. 226 00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:42,016 This is Captain Stubing from the bridge. 227 00:10:42,099 --> 00:10:45,436 We will be cruising at an average speed of 17.3 knots 228 00:10:45,519 --> 00:10:47,521 and with fair skies ahead, we'll travel 229 00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:50,691 3,950 nautical miles to Southampton, 230 00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:52,276 England in nine days. 231 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:53,277 Bon voyage. 232 00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:33,192 Best wishes, Lilly Marlowe. 233 00:11:33,275 --> 00:11:34,985 Aren't you ever tempted to write rotten wishes 234 00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:36,946 or, uh, this, book is overpriced. 235 00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:38,948 No. 236 00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:40,074 It's my job. 237 00:11:40,157 --> 00:11:42,034 The hours are long, but at least the pay is lousy. 238 00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:42,451 Ah. 239 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,036 Let me help. 240 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,205 No, thank you. 241 00:11:46,288 --> 00:11:47,790 Would anyone know the difference? 242 00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:49,458 I would. 243 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:50,167 Conscientious. 244 00:11:50,251 --> 00:11:52,420 I like that. 245 00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:53,170 What are you doing? 246 00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:54,004 I'll show you. 247 00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:01,053 There. 248 00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:06,308 That's amazing. 249 00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,894 I can't tell them apart. 250 00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:10,354 Well, actually, mine's a little better. 251 00:12:13,023 --> 00:12:14,525 Is this some hobby of yours? 252 00:12:14,608 --> 00:12:15,234 No. 253 00:12:15,317 --> 00:12:16,652 It's my profession. 254 00:12:16,735 --> 00:12:18,571 I just painted a Rembrandt that sold for $2 million. 255 00:12:18,654 --> 00:12:21,407 You're an art forger, right? 256 00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:24,118 Yes, I am, but a legal one. 257 00:12:24,201 --> 00:12:27,246 I restore damaged masterpieces for museums. 258 00:12:27,329 --> 00:12:29,373 That must be a very difficult thing to do. 259 00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:30,332 No. 260 00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:31,792 Not really. 261 00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:35,045 It's, um, just a matter of the hand following the eye. 262 00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:41,010 She looks a lot like you. 263 00:12:44,805 --> 00:12:47,933 Well, don't judge a book by its cover. 264 00:12:53,105 --> 00:12:54,857 Hello. 265 00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:55,649 Judy. 266 00:12:58,110 --> 00:12:59,904 Why did you come on this cruise? 267 00:12:59,987 --> 00:13:01,989 Can we go somewhere? 268 00:13:02,072 --> 00:13:03,491 There's a lot I have to tell you. 269 00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:05,326 Johnny, I'm working. 270 00:13:05,409 --> 00:13:06,702 I know. 271 00:13:06,785 --> 00:13:07,495 Please? 272 00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:11,415 When I saw you come aboard-- 273 00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:12,541 I couldn't figure out why you were so surprised. 274 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:15,211 My name's on the passenger list. 275 00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:16,378 There are 750 names on that list. 276 00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:17,213 Let's go to my cabin. 277 00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:18,881 No. 278 00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:19,882 Then let's go to yours. 279 00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:23,219 Johnny, I'm working. 280 00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:28,641 Well, will I see you again later? 281 00:13:28,724 --> 00:13:29,934 Yes, I suppose you will. 282 00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:37,191 Ladies and gentlemen, we are now 283 00:13:37,274 --> 00:13:42,071 passing the Bermuda islands, the last land before England. 284 00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:45,199 Yeah, you know, there are a lot of terrific places 285 00:13:45,282 --> 00:13:47,910 in London that we never got to on our honeymoon. 286 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:52,331 What's the matter? 287 00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:53,666 Don't you want to talk? 288 00:13:53,749 --> 00:13:54,625 All right, yes. 289 00:13:54,708 --> 00:13:55,459 Let's talk. 290 00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:57,294 Let's talk about your roving eyes. 291 00:13:57,378 --> 00:13:57,753 Roving eyes? 292 00:13:57,836 --> 00:14:00,130 Roving eyes. 293 00:14:00,214 --> 00:14:01,924 OK. 294 00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:04,426 So I look, but I don't touch. 295 00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:06,762 What about Chicago? 296 00:14:06,845 --> 00:14:08,347 I touched Chicago? 297 00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:09,431 Don't get cute with me. 298 00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:11,600 You know what I meant. 299 00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:13,269 That so-called business trip of yours 300 00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:15,271 with that no-good Charlie. 301 00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:17,606 I told you that woman's voice on the phone 302 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:18,899 was Charlie's date. 303 00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:19,858 He's single. 304 00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:20,776 He's still allowed to do that, you know? 305 00:14:20,859 --> 00:14:22,778 What was she doing in your room? 306 00:14:22,861 --> 00:14:26,949 They came in to drag me away from my paperwork. 307 00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:28,242 It happens that I work very hard, Kathy. 308 00:14:28,325 --> 00:14:33,122 That's how we can afford the beach house and the townhouse. 309 00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:35,749 And you still have time to look at other women. 310 00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:37,126 Oh, honey. 311 00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:39,753 I think you're making much more out of this than it's worth. 312 00:14:54,268 --> 00:14:56,020 Thank you. 313 00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:04,194 Here we go. 314 00:15:06,905 --> 00:15:08,907 Having a good time? 315 00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:09,658 Great. 316 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,452 Good. 317 00:15:11,535 --> 00:15:12,578 OK, mother. 318 00:15:12,661 --> 00:15:13,829 Enough. 319 00:15:13,912 --> 00:15:14,663 Who am I meeting? 320 00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,665 Who is the man you've written to? 321 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:19,835 Oh, a famous actor your mother knew in London. 322 00:15:19,918 --> 00:15:24,840 Ah, the memorable years in London before you married dad. 323 00:15:24,923 --> 00:15:28,052 So tell me, is this actor famous? 324 00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:28,594 I mean, is he still famous? 325 00:15:28,677 --> 00:15:30,804 Would I know him? 326 00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:34,266 Sir Albert Demerest. 327 00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:36,352 You knew Sir Albert Demerest? 328 00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:39,313 Quite well. 329 00:15:39,396 --> 00:15:42,274 How well? 330 00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:45,527 I was his secretary for three years after I graduated. 331 00:15:48,238 --> 00:15:49,782 I was in love with him. 332 00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:51,909 In love with him, with Sir Albert? 333 00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:56,580 He's a lot older than you are. 334 00:15:56,664 --> 00:15:58,165 Well, he-- he was then. 335 00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:04,713 We used to laugh about it. 336 00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:06,048 I don't believe it that the man I watch 337 00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:09,677 on "The Late Show," "Hamlet," "Macbeth," 338 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:10,594 "The Prisoner of Zenda." 339 00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:13,097 He had just finished that. 340 00:16:15,974 --> 00:16:17,893 How come you never mentioned it before? 341 00:16:17,976 --> 00:16:21,105 I thought I knew everything about you. 342 00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:24,108 Not quite everything. 343 00:16:24,191 --> 00:16:27,653 Will wonders never cease? 344 00:16:27,736 --> 00:16:31,198 Well, let's hope that wonders never cease. 345 00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:54,722 Ah, good. 346 00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:56,432 Shall we have at it? - No. 347 00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:57,683 I think we should wait for Judy. 348 00:16:57,766 --> 00:16:59,226 Uh, she appears to have other plans. 349 00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:05,566 I see. 350 00:17:05,649 --> 00:17:09,111 Who is that man? 351 00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:09,987 He's her ex-husband. 352 00:17:10,070 --> 00:17:14,992 I remember our first meals together. 353 00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:16,660 We used to have so much to say to each other, 354 00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:17,911 we'd be speaking at the same time. 355 00:17:22,249 --> 00:17:24,501 Then that should explain the silence. 356 00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:28,130 We've said all we have to say to each other. 357 00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:28,964 Not all. 358 00:17:31,842 --> 00:17:33,969 I want you back, Judy. 359 00:17:34,052 --> 00:17:36,430 John, we have been through all that before. 360 00:17:36,513 --> 00:17:38,807 Then let me put it another way. 361 00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:42,060 I'm going to get you back, Judy, no matter what it takes. 362 00:17:48,275 --> 00:17:50,819 I want to see Westminster Abbey, Windsor Castle, and 363 00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:53,280 my friend Pam if there's time. 364 00:17:53,363 --> 00:17:55,365 Oh, please drop Westminster Abbey. 365 00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:58,827 All those cold stones remind me of a room full of critics. 366 00:17:58,911 --> 00:17:59,828 Mother. 367 00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:02,331 You may see Pam as long as you spare me. 368 00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:03,832 Her parents are terrible bores. 369 00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:12,382 That's very good. 370 00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:17,513 Good evening. 371 00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:19,014 Well, won't you join us? 372 00:18:19,097 --> 00:18:20,349 Oh, I'm sorry. 373 00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:21,892 I don't know your name. 374 00:18:21,975 --> 00:18:23,060 Roger Wimbley. 375 00:18:23,143 --> 00:18:24,686 This is my daughter, Samantha Gregory. 376 00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:26,396 Legitimate, of course. 377 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:29,441 Mother. 378 00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:30,692 And of course, I know who you are. 379 00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:32,486 I've read many of your books. 380 00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:33,362 Indeed. 381 00:18:33,445 --> 00:18:37,157 Including "Rapture in the Garden?" 382 00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:39,952 Oh, my favorite. 383 00:18:40,035 --> 00:18:42,830 I never wrote a book called "Rapture in the Garden." 384 00:18:42,913 --> 00:18:45,040 You haven't got her features at all. 385 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:48,210 Well, I thought I got them perfectly. 386 00:18:51,922 --> 00:18:53,841 What do you think? 387 00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:55,801 I think mine are better. 388 00:19:01,139 --> 00:19:05,727 So Thursday morning we'll be in London. 389 00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:07,020 Yes. 390 00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:07,896 Excited? 391 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:12,067 Hmm, that's not quite the word for it. 392 00:19:12,150 --> 00:19:12,359 It's been 20 years. 393 00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:19,324 You really loved him. 394 00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:20,909 Yes. 395 00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:21,785 I really loved him. 396 00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:29,960 Well, was, uh, Sir Albert happy to hear from you? 397 00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:34,506 He never answers his mail. 398 00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:35,090 He never did. 399 00:19:35,173 --> 00:19:39,011 I used to do it for him. 400 00:19:39,094 --> 00:19:41,430 You should have seen his correspondence. 401 00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:48,854 I wrote to the Queen, Albert Schweitzer, Katharine Hepburn. 402 00:19:48,937 --> 00:19:51,440 And you wrote to him that you'd be bringing me along. 403 00:19:51,523 --> 00:19:53,317 No. 404 00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:58,947 I told him that I was coming to see him. 405 00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:01,617 Then how do you know he'll, uh, see me? 406 00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:09,583 Because-- because I'm going to tell him something that I think 407 00:20:09,666 --> 00:20:10,792 will compel him to see you. 408 00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:13,670 Mother, compel him? 409 00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:15,422 What could you possibly tell him? 410 00:20:18,842 --> 00:20:20,344 That he's your father. 411 00:20:25,682 --> 00:20:26,808 Mother. 412 00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:28,936 You can't tell him that. 413 00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:29,645 That-- 414 00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:31,146 Oh, yes. 415 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,899 Yes, I can. 416 00:20:33,982 --> 00:20:34,858 Mother, what are you saying? 417 00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:38,487 My father was a teacher. 418 00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:40,030 He-- he died before I was born. 419 00:20:40,113 --> 00:20:42,324 He didn't have any family. 420 00:20:42,407 --> 00:20:43,492 No. 421 00:20:43,575 --> 00:20:46,912 he certainly didn't have any family. 422 00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:50,040 No father or mother. 423 00:20:50,123 --> 00:20:50,832 What? 424 00:20:56,129 --> 00:20:56,880 I made him up. 425 00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:07,933 And, uh, what have you been telling me all my life? 426 00:21:08,016 --> 00:21:08,976 A lie. 427 00:21:28,996 --> 00:21:32,165 And in spite of all the croaking from the wise guys, 428 00:21:32,249 --> 00:21:37,087 it was number three on the best seller list for 11 weeks. 429 00:21:37,170 --> 00:21:39,881 Well, what I like best about your books are the sad parts. 430 00:21:39,965 --> 00:21:40,799 Oh, I cry and cry. 431 00:21:40,882 --> 00:21:42,718 Taken from life, dear. 432 00:21:42,801 --> 00:21:45,721 Taken from life. 433 00:21:45,804 --> 00:21:47,055 May I? 434 00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:48,223 Yes, sure. 435 00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:49,474 You'd be delighted. 436 00:22:01,862 --> 00:22:04,906 Well, I see your daughter has found a way 437 00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:05,490 of spending her leisure time. 438 00:22:22,215 --> 00:22:24,384 You're doing it again, aren't you? 439 00:22:24,468 --> 00:22:25,719 Doing what? 440 00:22:25,802 --> 00:22:26,970 Looking at another woman. 441 00:22:27,054 --> 00:22:29,306 What are you talking about? 442 00:22:29,389 --> 00:22:31,683 I didn't even turn my head. 443 00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:32,851 I could hear your eyeballs click. 444 00:22:40,776 --> 00:22:45,072 I feel as if a man has just died, 445 00:22:45,155 --> 00:22:47,616 and he never even existed. 446 00:22:47,699 --> 00:22:47,741 I'm sorry. 447 00:22:52,287 --> 00:22:53,997 And Sir Albert, my father. 448 00:22:56,792 --> 00:22:57,918 Why? 449 00:22:58,001 --> 00:22:59,544 Why didn't you ever tell me? 450 00:22:59,628 --> 00:23:04,091 Because you would have wanted to get in touch with him. 451 00:23:04,174 --> 00:23:05,008 Mother. 452 00:23:05,092 --> 00:23:05,425 I had a right to get in touch with him. 453 00:23:09,971 --> 00:23:11,014 I-- I just don't understand. 454 00:23:11,098 --> 00:23:14,976 I-- what happened? 455 00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:15,852 How did you two meet? 456 00:23:18,730 --> 00:23:20,315 At a party. 457 00:23:20,398 --> 00:23:21,650 There he was. 458 00:23:21,733 --> 00:23:22,317 We were introduced. 459 00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:24,402 He was charming, gallant. 460 00:23:29,533 --> 00:23:33,829 Everybody made a fuss over him, but he took me home. 461 00:23:33,912 --> 00:23:34,454 That's how it started. 462 00:23:37,290 --> 00:23:42,587 I was in love with him, head over heels in love with a god. 463 00:23:42,671 --> 00:23:43,922 It was outrageous. 464 00:23:44,005 --> 00:23:45,590 And I was young. 465 00:23:49,886 --> 00:23:55,559 And then your grandmother became ill, and I flew back home. 466 00:23:55,642 --> 00:23:59,187 I wrote to him, but he never answers his letters. 467 00:24:05,694 --> 00:24:06,486 And then one day, he did. 468 00:24:11,158 --> 00:24:15,745 He had fallen in love, he said, with a woman closer to his age, 469 00:24:15,829 --> 00:24:18,123 and he was getting married. 470 00:24:18,206 --> 00:24:19,124 Terribly sorry. 471 00:24:25,005 --> 00:24:29,092 He broke my heart. 472 00:24:29,176 --> 00:24:31,678 And I found I was pregnant. 473 00:24:39,102 --> 00:24:42,439 I loved him. 474 00:24:42,522 --> 00:24:52,991 I-- I couldn't intrude on his happiness, his life, 475 00:24:53,074 --> 00:24:53,825 make a scandal. 476 00:24:58,163 --> 00:25:00,081 Then he doesn't know. 477 00:25:00,165 --> 00:25:02,542 No. 478 00:25:02,626 --> 00:25:06,755 No one knows, until this moment. 479 00:25:15,555 --> 00:25:19,601 I don't know who to feel more sorry for, you or me. 480 00:25:31,947 --> 00:25:32,656 Or him. 481 00:25:43,583 --> 00:25:44,918 I've got a great idea. 482 00:25:45,001 --> 00:25:46,378 Let's spend the whole week together, see all the sights. 483 00:25:46,461 --> 00:25:48,630 I'll show you the painting I'm restoring 484 00:25:48,713 --> 00:25:49,548 at the National Gallery. 485 00:25:49,631 --> 00:25:50,966 We'll catch a show or two. 486 00:25:51,049 --> 00:25:52,133 It sounds wonderful. 487 00:25:52,217 --> 00:25:56,263 But I don't think I'm going to have any time off. 488 00:25:56,346 --> 00:26:01,893 Samantha, your mother will survive, believe me. 489 00:26:01,977 --> 00:26:03,103 What about me? 490 00:26:03,186 --> 00:26:03,812 Every sketch I've done since we've met 491 00:26:03,895 --> 00:26:05,230 comes out looking like you. 492 00:26:13,655 --> 00:26:13,697 You don't understand, do you? 493 00:26:20,578 --> 00:26:21,371 I'm falling in love. 494 00:26:32,173 --> 00:26:34,801 Oh, there you are, Samantha. 495 00:26:34,884 --> 00:26:37,345 I've been overtaken by a veritable surge of inspiration. 496 00:26:37,429 --> 00:26:41,641 We'll have hours of dictation. 497 00:26:41,725 --> 00:26:43,476 Go inside, Samantha. 498 00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:44,436 Please? 499 00:26:44,519 --> 00:26:45,186 Go on. 500 00:26:45,270 --> 00:26:47,605 Mother, I-- 501 00:26:47,689 --> 00:26:48,356 I'm sorry. 502 00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:50,942 Good night. 503 00:26:51,026 --> 00:26:53,737 Uh, good night. 504 00:27:08,251 --> 00:27:09,544 CAPTAIN STUBING: Ladies and gentlemen, this 505 00:27:09,627 --> 00:27:11,379 is Captain Stubing speaking. 506 00:27:11,463 --> 00:27:13,256 Shortly after noon, we'll be entering the Port 507 00:27:13,340 --> 00:27:15,383 of South Hampton, England. 508 00:27:15,467 --> 00:27:17,969 You'll find the natives very friendly and amazingly quick 509 00:27:18,053 --> 00:27:18,720 at picking up the language. 510 00:27:20,805 --> 00:27:22,891 Here are the forms you requested, sir. 511 00:27:22,974 --> 00:27:24,476 Oh, thank you, lieutenant. As you were. 512 00:27:31,316 --> 00:27:32,025 Morning, Judy. 513 00:27:32,108 --> 00:27:33,943 Hi, Sven. 514 00:27:34,027 --> 00:27:36,404 Captain. 515 00:27:36,488 --> 00:27:38,073 I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner, sir. 516 00:27:38,156 --> 00:27:38,907 I was distributing the tour schedules. 517 00:27:38,990 --> 00:27:40,784 Yes. 518 00:27:40,867 --> 00:27:41,910 That's what I wanted to see you about. 519 00:27:41,993 --> 00:27:44,412 You should have completed that last night. 520 00:27:44,496 --> 00:27:45,372 I know, sir. 521 00:27:45,455 --> 00:27:48,124 It was a small problem getting organized. 522 00:27:48,208 --> 00:27:49,959 I understand. 523 00:27:54,089 --> 00:27:56,049 Judy, will you get these to Gopher? 524 00:27:56,132 --> 00:27:57,592 It's rather important. 525 00:27:57,675 --> 00:27:59,719 I've made a number of changes and requisitions 526 00:27:59,803 --> 00:28:01,930 that have to be executed by the printers in London. 527 00:28:02,013 --> 00:28:02,597 Well, sir. 528 00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:03,181 I'd be happy to handle that. 529 00:28:03,264 --> 00:28:04,933 Thank you, Judy. 530 00:28:05,016 --> 00:28:05,392 I appreciate that. 531 00:28:05,475 --> 00:28:07,310 So will Gopher. 532 00:28:07,394 --> 00:28:08,645 Tell the printer I need them as soon as possible. 533 00:28:08,728 --> 00:28:10,397 You know, it seems that not only governments 534 00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:13,358 but also ships run on paper. 535 00:28:13,441 --> 00:28:14,109 No problem, sir. 536 00:28:14,192 --> 00:28:14,692 I'll handle it. 537 00:28:14,776 --> 00:28:16,069 Thanks again, Judy. 538 00:28:19,030 --> 00:28:22,617 Well, some important job you have. 539 00:28:22,700 --> 00:28:24,285 Delivery girl. 540 00:28:24,369 --> 00:28:25,787 Look, John, I'm not on vacation. 541 00:28:25,870 --> 00:28:26,454 I think it's going to do me any harm 542 00:28:26,538 --> 00:28:28,873 to do what the Captain asks. 543 00:28:28,957 --> 00:28:31,334 Then I'm going to have to stay with you every minute. 544 00:28:31,418 --> 00:28:33,795 If you're carrying such important papers, 545 00:28:33,878 --> 00:28:35,463 you should have a guard 24 hours a day. 546 00:28:41,845 --> 00:28:44,347 PURSER: Ladies and gentlemen, the currency exchange 547 00:28:44,431 --> 00:28:46,015 is now available in the purser's lobby. 548 00:28:50,103 --> 00:28:51,438 [knock on door] 549 00:28:52,397 --> 00:28:54,858 I'll get it, mother. 550 00:28:54,941 --> 00:28:56,109 Yes? 551 00:28:56,192 --> 00:28:59,237 [SINGING] London Bridge is falling down, falling down. 552 00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:00,905 Let me take you on the town, my fair lady. 553 00:29:04,993 --> 00:29:06,661 I thought I'd never seen you again. 554 00:29:06,744 --> 00:29:07,579 Oh, no. 555 00:29:07,662 --> 00:29:09,956 I don't scare off quite that easily. 556 00:29:10,039 --> 00:29:15,211 Besides, I want to see you again. 557 00:29:15,295 --> 00:29:15,837 I don't think I can. 558 00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:17,755 Samantha, who is that? 559 00:29:21,134 --> 00:29:22,677 Oh. 560 00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:25,013 Mother, look at the beautiful roses 561 00:29:25,096 --> 00:29:28,349 that Roger brought you and would like to show us around London. 562 00:29:28,433 --> 00:29:31,728 Oh, how kind. 563 00:29:31,811 --> 00:29:33,271 You drive a taxi? 564 00:29:33,354 --> 00:29:34,189 No. 565 00:29:34,272 --> 00:29:35,523 Mother. 566 00:29:35,607 --> 00:29:38,526 Now, some of the things you put out simply won't do. 567 00:29:38,610 --> 00:29:41,529 And have you made those reservations yet at the, uh, 568 00:29:41,613 --> 00:29:42,363 White Elephant? 569 00:29:42,447 --> 00:29:42,947 No, not yet. 570 00:29:43,031 --> 00:29:45,116 Uh, contacted Pam? 571 00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:46,034 No. 572 00:29:46,117 --> 00:29:47,911 I'll do it later, mother. 573 00:29:47,994 --> 00:29:49,037 Dear, Roger. 574 00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:51,873 There's so much to do and there's so little time. 575 00:29:51,956 --> 00:29:54,417 I'm sure you would have given us a lovely tour, but you see, 576 00:29:54,501 --> 00:29:55,752 we've already made our plans. 577 00:29:55,835 --> 00:29:57,337 You understand? 578 00:29:57,420 --> 00:30:00,715 Oh, really Samantha. 579 00:30:00,798 --> 00:30:02,509 Mother, I don't see what you have against him. 580 00:30:02,592 --> 00:30:04,260 He seems very nice. 581 00:30:04,344 --> 00:30:04,719 Well, of course, he does. 582 00:30:04,802 --> 00:30:06,179 They all do. 583 00:30:06,262 --> 00:30:07,472 Even your father seemed nice. 584 00:30:07,555 --> 00:30:08,806 [knock on door] 585 00:30:09,974 --> 00:30:11,059 Uh, no hard feelings. 586 00:30:11,142 --> 00:30:11,184 You can keep the roses. 587 00:30:17,982 --> 00:30:19,984 [knock on door] 588 00:30:20,068 --> 00:30:22,987 [SINGING] National Gallery standing there, perched 589 00:30:23,071 --> 00:30:25,240 above Trafalger Square, half past three, 590 00:30:25,323 --> 00:30:26,824 hope you're there, my Samantha. 591 00:30:48,930 --> 00:30:49,597 CAPTAIN STUBING: Ladies and gentlemen, we will 592 00:30:49,681 --> 00:30:51,766 be docking soon in Southampton. 593 00:30:51,849 --> 00:30:54,477 Once we've cleared customs, a train will take 594 00:30:54,561 --> 00:30:56,604 us to our hotels in London. 595 00:30:56,688 --> 00:30:57,647 You won't want to miss magnificent sights 596 00:30:57,730 --> 00:31:00,525 like Piccadilly Circus, Trafalgar 597 00:31:00,608 --> 00:31:04,779 Square, the Tower of London, and of course, Buckingham Palace. 598 00:31:04,862 --> 00:31:06,614 Have a marvelous time and cheerio. 599 00:31:17,083 --> 00:31:17,875 VICKI: This is great. 600 00:31:17,959 --> 00:31:19,460 A real double-decker bus. 601 00:31:19,544 --> 00:31:21,462 CAPTAIN STUBING: There's not a better way to see London. 602 00:31:21,546 --> 00:31:23,131 DR. BRICKER: It's the way the Londoners see London. 603 00:31:23,214 --> 00:31:25,133 GOPHER: Where's Victoria Station on this map? 604 00:31:25,216 --> 00:31:26,259 ISAAC: We're in it, Goph. 605 00:31:26,342 --> 00:31:27,051 GOPHER: Oh. 606 00:31:46,070 --> 00:31:47,739 DR. BRICKER: That's St. Clemens Church. 607 00:31:47,822 --> 00:31:50,992 Imagine, over 1,000 years old. 608 00:31:51,075 --> 00:31:52,201 CAPTAIN STUBING: Makes me feel young. 609 00:31:55,747 --> 00:31:56,372 VICKI: Wow. 610 00:31:56,456 --> 00:31:57,415 Trafalgar Square. 611 00:32:04,756 --> 00:32:07,550 GOPHER: That's Lord Nelson way on top of that column. 612 00:32:07,634 --> 00:32:08,509 ISAAC: I don't blame him. 613 00:32:08,593 --> 00:32:10,470 Anything to get away from those pigeons. 614 00:32:33,493 --> 00:32:35,328 VICKI: Oh, it's beautiful. 615 00:32:35,411 --> 00:32:38,081 St. Paul's is the second largest cathedral in the world. 616 00:32:41,334 --> 00:32:42,377 Look. 617 00:32:42,460 --> 00:32:43,961 Over there, the Houses of Parliament. 618 00:32:44,045 --> 00:32:46,422 Something I've always wanted to see. 619 00:32:46,506 --> 00:32:48,216 DR. BRICKER: The heart of the British government. 620 00:32:53,304 --> 00:32:54,138 VICKI: And look. 621 00:32:54,222 --> 00:32:55,682 Off to the left is Big Ben. 622 00:32:55,765 --> 00:32:57,642 DR. BRICKER: It looks like they're 623 00:32:57,725 --> 00:32:59,519 giving old Ben a face lift. 624 00:33:02,146 --> 00:33:03,898 CAPTAIN STUBING: Well, if Parliament is the heart, 625 00:33:03,981 --> 00:33:07,527 right around the corner is the soul, Westminster Abbey. 626 00:33:22,250 --> 00:33:23,376 It's so beautiful. 627 00:33:23,459 --> 00:33:25,378 What incredible stained glass. 628 00:33:25,461 --> 00:33:27,755 Oh, it's so impressive. 629 00:33:27,839 --> 00:33:29,841 Let's find a Poet's Corner. 630 00:33:37,056 --> 00:33:38,641 Isn't it wonderful the way that English 631 00:33:38,725 --> 00:33:40,685 honor their great writers? 632 00:33:40,768 --> 00:33:41,519 Charles Dickens. 633 00:33:43,604 --> 00:33:46,941 Rudyard Kipling. 634 00:33:47,024 --> 00:33:48,025 What a sense of history. 635 00:34:23,394 --> 00:34:24,812 Westminster Abbey. 636 00:34:24,896 --> 00:34:27,482 It's like walking through the pages of English history. 637 00:34:27,565 --> 00:34:30,526 Didn't walking down that aisle remind you of another aisle 638 00:34:30,610 --> 00:34:32,111 we walked down 10 years ago? 639 00:34:32,195 --> 00:34:35,031 Were we ever in love. 640 00:34:35,114 --> 00:34:36,324 I remember. 641 00:34:36,407 --> 00:34:40,578 I'd have no trouble loving you now, if only I could trust you. 642 00:34:43,498 --> 00:34:45,041 Well, I've got a great idea. 643 00:34:45,124 --> 00:34:46,667 Why don't we go back to the hotel 644 00:34:46,751 --> 00:34:49,837 for a little afternoon trust. 645 00:34:49,921 --> 00:34:51,798 You go back. 646 00:34:51,881 --> 00:34:53,549 I know how you feel about souvenir shopping 647 00:34:53,633 --> 00:34:54,759 for the people back home. 648 00:34:54,842 --> 00:34:56,803 And I want to get my hair done. 649 00:34:56,886 --> 00:34:57,970 I'll be back about 6:00. 650 00:34:58,054 --> 00:34:58,805 What I have in mind is only going to mess 651 00:34:58,888 --> 00:35:00,348 up your hair all over again. 652 00:35:00,431 --> 00:35:03,142 Well, that's why we women get it done in the first place. 653 00:35:08,397 --> 00:35:09,106 Taxi. 654 00:35:14,695 --> 00:35:16,447 Regent Street, please. 655 00:35:30,670 --> 00:35:33,047 [church bells] 656 00:35:47,436 --> 00:35:49,564 Roger? 657 00:35:49,647 --> 00:35:50,690 - Hi. - Hi. 658 00:35:50,773 --> 00:35:51,691 I was hoping you'd come. 659 00:35:54,277 --> 00:35:55,528 You haven't got the features at all. 660 00:35:55,611 --> 00:35:58,447 Uh-oh. 661 00:35:58,531 --> 00:35:59,323 You're right. 662 00:35:59,407 --> 00:36:00,658 I haven't even come near it. - No. 663 00:36:00,741 --> 00:36:01,868 It's very good. 664 00:36:01,951 --> 00:36:04,370 Not alongside the original, it isn't. 665 00:36:04,453 --> 00:36:06,664 Uh, there are people. 666 00:36:06,747 --> 00:36:07,623 Really? 667 00:36:07,707 --> 00:36:09,750 I hadn't even noticed. 668 00:36:09,834 --> 00:36:10,376 Come on. 669 00:36:10,459 --> 00:36:11,252 I'll show you around. 670 00:36:20,845 --> 00:36:23,097 JOHN: Well, was I right about the National Gallery? 671 00:36:23,181 --> 00:36:25,808 JUDY: Oh, it was spectacular. 672 00:36:25,892 --> 00:36:29,812 Ah, well, that-- 673 00:36:29,896 --> 00:36:31,772 that is St. Martin's in the field. 674 00:36:31,856 --> 00:36:33,774 Oh, wonderful. 675 00:36:33,858 --> 00:36:36,819 And wait until you see Windsor Castle. 676 00:36:40,865 --> 00:36:42,700 John, I'm not too sure we should be 677 00:36:42,783 --> 00:36:44,911 spending so much time together. 678 00:36:44,994 --> 00:36:46,203 What's wrong with seeing London? 679 00:36:46,287 --> 00:36:48,915 We never got a chance to do it when we were married. 680 00:36:48,998 --> 00:36:52,877 Well, we're not married now. 681 00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:57,089 Then we'll play it by ear, a day at a time 682 00:36:57,173 --> 00:36:59,258 and a night at a time. 683 00:36:59,342 --> 00:37:01,135 Let's see how the days work out first. 684 00:37:40,591 --> 00:37:41,217 [knock on door] 685 00:37:41,300 --> 00:37:42,510 Just a minute. 686 00:37:45,721 --> 00:37:48,349 Did you forget your key, hon? 687 00:37:48,432 --> 00:37:49,183 Mr. Leonard Ross? 688 00:37:49,266 --> 00:37:49,976 Yes? 689 00:37:55,022 --> 00:37:55,731 Surprise. 690 00:37:58,776 --> 00:38:01,070 Who are you and what are you doing here? 691 00:38:01,153 --> 00:38:01,946 I'm Monica. 692 00:38:02,029 --> 00:38:03,531 And I'm your birthday present. 693 00:38:03,614 --> 00:38:04,699 My what? 694 00:38:04,782 --> 00:38:06,867 Your birthday present. 695 00:38:06,951 --> 00:38:07,451 Charlie. 696 00:38:07,535 --> 00:38:09,203 No, I'm not Charlie. 697 00:38:09,286 --> 00:38:12,206 I'm Monica, and I'm all yours for the rest of the trip. 698 00:38:12,289 --> 00:38:14,542 I'm going to kill that Charlie. 699 00:38:14,625 --> 00:38:15,626 Don't you like your birthday present? 700 00:38:15,710 --> 00:38:17,378 Oh, yes. 701 00:38:17,461 --> 00:38:18,421 Of course. 702 00:38:18,504 --> 00:38:20,381 You're-- you're the right size and everything. 703 00:38:20,464 --> 00:38:21,090 What am I talking about? 704 00:38:21,173 --> 00:38:24,677 You've got to get out of here. 705 00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:26,137 You can't sit on that bed. 706 00:38:26,220 --> 00:38:27,471 Would you rather I lay down on it? 707 00:38:27,555 --> 00:38:27,763 No. 708 00:38:27,847 --> 00:38:29,223 No. 709 00:38:29,306 --> 00:38:32,852 Oh, you passionate man. 710 00:38:32,935 --> 00:38:33,644 Eh, eh, no. 711 00:38:33,728 --> 00:38:35,396 No. 712 00:38:35,479 --> 00:38:36,689 This can't be. 713 00:38:36,772 --> 00:38:39,608 Oh, yes it can. 714 00:38:39,692 --> 00:38:40,985 Let me unwrap your present. 715 00:38:44,989 --> 00:38:49,243 I, uh, I don't know who you are or where you came from, 716 00:38:49,326 --> 00:38:49,952 but you've got to get out of here. 717 00:38:50,036 --> 00:38:52,204 What are you doing? 718 00:38:52,288 --> 00:38:55,541 We could have such a wonderful time together. 719 00:38:55,624 --> 00:38:57,668 Yes, I'm sure we could, but my wife right now 720 00:38:57,752 --> 00:39:00,796 is thinking about divorce, and if she finds you here with me, 721 00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:02,757 she'll go right past divorce into murder. 722 00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:05,134 But we paid for. 723 00:39:05,217 --> 00:39:07,178 I'll get you wherever you go. 724 00:39:10,973 --> 00:39:14,101 Oh, Charlie, why couldn't you have just sent 725 00:39:14,185 --> 00:39:17,521 me a tie like everybody else? 726 00:39:17,605 --> 00:39:18,939 [traffic noise] 727 00:39:52,264 --> 00:39:53,599 [buzzer] 728 00:39:57,812 --> 00:39:59,772 Yes? 729 00:39:59,855 --> 00:40:02,066 Hello. 730 00:40:02,149 --> 00:40:02,733 Maud. 731 00:40:02,817 --> 00:40:04,902 Maud. 732 00:40:04,985 --> 00:40:07,571 Maud Correll. 733 00:40:07,655 --> 00:40:10,407 Well, c-- c-- c-- come on in. 734 00:40:10,491 --> 00:40:11,325 Oh, Maud. 735 00:40:11,408 --> 00:40:14,245 How marvelous to see you again. 736 00:40:14,328 --> 00:40:17,998 I heard you were coming for a visit. 737 00:40:18,082 --> 00:40:20,793 He's-- he's been agitated, you know. 738 00:40:20,876 --> 00:40:21,710 How is he? 739 00:40:21,794 --> 00:40:24,171 Well, he's-- he's older. 740 00:40:24,255 --> 00:40:25,381 Not so busy anymore. 741 00:40:25,464 --> 00:40:27,466 A lot of his old friends gone, you know. 742 00:40:31,053 --> 00:40:32,346 Is he here? 743 00:40:32,429 --> 00:40:33,180 No. 744 00:40:33,264 --> 00:40:35,891 He's around the corner at the pub. 745 00:40:35,975 --> 00:40:38,519 I know the one. 746 00:40:38,602 --> 00:40:40,855 Probably had a few. 747 00:40:40,938 --> 00:40:41,897 I'll find him. 748 00:40:45,025 --> 00:40:46,068 So good to see you, Maud. 749 00:40:46,152 --> 00:40:47,778 Oh, and you. 750 00:40:47,862 --> 00:40:48,362 [smooch] 751 00:40:48,445 --> 00:40:48,779 I'll see you later. 752 00:40:48,863 --> 00:40:49,572 All right. 753 00:40:53,784 --> 00:40:55,161 [door closing] 754 00:41:07,089 --> 00:41:09,008 [chatter] 755 00:41:42,958 --> 00:41:45,961 Mmm. 756 00:41:46,045 --> 00:41:46,795 Hello, Albert. 757 00:41:50,424 --> 00:41:51,342 It's Maud. 758 00:41:53,928 --> 00:41:54,637 Maud. 759 00:41:59,183 --> 00:42:01,185 I sent you a letter. 760 00:42:01,268 --> 00:42:03,229 Did you? 761 00:42:03,312 --> 00:42:03,938 Oh, yes. 762 00:42:04,021 --> 00:42:05,189 Yes, you did. 763 00:42:23,958 --> 00:42:26,460 If ever my cup runneth over. 764 00:42:35,886 --> 00:42:37,221 [phone ringing] 765 00:42:41,225 --> 00:42:41,600 Hello? 766 00:42:41,684 --> 00:42:43,310 Mom, it's me. 767 00:42:43,394 --> 00:42:44,019 Oh. 768 00:42:44,103 --> 00:42:45,396 Samantha. 769 00:42:45,479 --> 00:42:46,981 You'll never guess what. 770 00:42:47,064 --> 00:42:48,357 Samantha, where are you? 771 00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:49,817 I ran into my friend, Pam. 772 00:42:49,900 --> 00:42:51,819 Ah. 773 00:42:51,902 --> 00:42:54,446 I'm at her parents' place, and they would love it 774 00:42:54,530 --> 00:42:56,073 if you could come for dinner. 775 00:42:56,156 --> 00:42:57,032 Absolutely not. 776 00:42:57,116 --> 00:42:59,827 I wouldn't be seen dead with those people. 777 00:42:59,910 --> 00:43:01,370 If I had to spend an evening listening to their prattle, 778 00:43:01,453 --> 00:43:04,581 that's exactly what would happen. 779 00:43:04,665 --> 00:43:05,332 All right, mother. 780 00:43:05,416 --> 00:43:06,917 Whatever you say. 781 00:43:07,001 --> 00:43:08,335 Just don't worry about me. 782 00:43:08,419 --> 00:43:11,797 I'll just curl up and write a good book. 783 00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:15,134 The buses stop running very early. 784 00:43:15,217 --> 00:43:16,468 I might have to stay overnight. 785 00:43:16,552 --> 00:43:17,678 All right. 786 00:43:17,761 --> 00:43:21,098 Give my love to Pam and to-- to-- to her lovely parents. 787 00:43:21,181 --> 00:43:21,640 Hmm? 788 00:43:21,724 --> 00:43:22,850 Goodbye, mother. 789 00:43:27,271 --> 00:43:28,397 Never lied to her before. 790 00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:42,536 It's all right, darling. 791 00:43:42,619 --> 00:43:46,999 Roger, there's a lot I've never done. 792 00:43:51,253 --> 00:43:52,963 I love you. 793 00:44:25,579 --> 00:44:28,791 Piccadilly Circus, here we come. 794 00:44:28,874 --> 00:44:30,084 What's over there? 795 00:44:30,167 --> 00:44:31,877 Hey, I think they're punkers. 796 00:44:38,342 --> 00:44:41,136 Look at those guys. 797 00:44:41,220 --> 00:44:43,055 Hey, take our picture. 798 00:44:43,138 --> 00:44:44,306 I always take yours. 799 00:44:44,390 --> 00:44:45,182 You take mine. 800 00:44:45,265 --> 00:44:45,933 Oh, OK. 801 00:44:46,016 --> 00:44:46,892 OK. 802 00:44:46,975 --> 00:44:47,851 Come on. 803 00:44:47,935 --> 00:44:48,977 Get up in there. 804 00:44:49,061 --> 00:44:52,648 Can we get a picture of our friend with all of you? 805 00:44:52,731 --> 00:44:55,317 There's room for all of you. 806 00:44:55,401 --> 00:44:56,068 Closer. 807 00:44:56,151 --> 00:44:57,277 Closer. Come on. 808 00:44:57,361 --> 00:44:58,195 Let's get everyone in here. 809 00:44:58,278 --> 00:44:59,238 Get a little closer. 810 00:44:59,321 --> 00:45:01,448 Now hold it. 811 00:45:01,532 --> 00:45:02,074 Let's go. 812 00:45:02,157 --> 00:45:04,451 Hey, guys. 813 00:45:04,535 --> 00:45:05,077 Guys, come back. 814 00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:07,454 Come back, guys. 815 00:45:25,013 --> 00:45:27,307 This is really something, huh? 816 00:45:27,391 --> 00:45:29,518 The changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace. 817 00:45:29,601 --> 00:45:30,978 Yeah, there's so many of them. 818 00:46:13,270 --> 00:46:14,855 No, I don't understand. 819 00:46:14,938 --> 00:46:16,231 What do you mean you haven't told him yet? 820 00:46:16,315 --> 00:46:18,692 Have a heart, will you? 821 00:46:18,775 --> 00:46:20,152 You're the one that should be talking 822 00:46:20,235 --> 00:46:21,528 about having a heart, mother. 823 00:46:21,612 --> 00:46:22,279 I'm sorry. 824 00:46:22,362 --> 00:46:22,738 I'm sorry. 825 00:46:22,821 --> 00:46:24,781 You're right. 826 00:46:24,865 --> 00:46:26,283 Well, it's-- it's the whole purpose 827 00:46:26,366 --> 00:46:27,910 of coming to Europe, wasn't it? 828 00:46:27,993 --> 00:46:28,952 Byron, I-- 829 00:46:29,036 --> 00:46:32,539 I mean I haven't seen the man in 20 years. 830 00:46:32,623 --> 00:46:33,207 It wasn't the moment. 831 00:46:33,290 --> 00:46:35,417 Right. 832 00:46:35,501 --> 00:46:36,418 Well, when it is the moment, you are going to slip 833 00:46:36,502 --> 00:46:38,212 my name in there, right? 834 00:46:42,257 --> 00:46:44,760 I'll find the moment. 835 00:46:44,843 --> 00:46:45,552 Thanks. 836 00:47:00,901 --> 00:47:02,319 All right, ladies and gentlemen. 837 00:47:02,402 --> 00:47:03,445 Follow me in now. 838 00:47:03,529 --> 00:47:04,738 We're getting to the Tower of London. 839 00:47:04,821 --> 00:47:06,114 Now, the Tower of London was built over 840 00:47:06,198 --> 00:47:11,912 900 years ago under the order of William, the Duke of Normandy. 841 00:47:11,995 --> 00:47:14,414 He made the last successful invasion of this country 842 00:47:14,498 --> 00:47:18,085 in the year 1066 and built in the southeast corner 843 00:47:18,168 --> 00:47:19,920 of the city of London a large Norman keep 844 00:47:20,003 --> 00:47:23,632 or dungeon to be used as the royal palace, a fortress, 845 00:47:23,715 --> 00:47:27,052 and the seat of government and also 846 00:47:27,135 --> 00:47:29,388 was a place where they kept many of the royal prisoners. 847 00:47:29,471 --> 00:47:34,101 Now, this Tower of London was developed over 200 years 848 00:47:34,184 --> 00:47:38,981 to cover 17 acres of ground. 849 00:47:39,064 --> 00:47:42,109 On this site stood a scaffold on which were executed 850 00:47:42,192 --> 00:47:45,862 Queen Anne Boleyn, 1536; Margaret, Countess 851 00:47:45,946 --> 00:47:52,369 of Salisbury, 1541; Queen Catherine Howard, 1542; 852 00:47:52,452 --> 00:47:53,412 Jane, Viscountess-- 853 00:47:53,495 --> 00:47:55,664 Talk about quickie divorces. 854 00:47:55,747 --> 00:47:58,333 Edward VIII only had one less wife than you did, Doc. 855 00:47:58,417 --> 00:47:59,459 And no alimony. 856 00:47:59,543 --> 00:48:01,461 Let's go to the tower. 857 00:48:01,545 --> 00:48:01,878 OK. 858 00:48:01,962 --> 00:48:03,380 All right. 859 00:48:03,463 --> 00:48:05,299 What's next? 860 00:48:05,382 --> 00:48:06,133 Absolutely wonderful. 861 00:48:06,216 --> 00:48:08,302 Aren't you having the nicest time? 862 00:48:08,385 --> 00:48:08,885 Yes. Yes. 863 00:48:08,969 --> 00:48:10,637 It really is the best. 864 00:48:10,721 --> 00:48:12,472 Oh, Len, there's a postcard stand over there. 865 00:48:12,556 --> 00:48:14,141 I promised to send one to my cousin in Santa Monica. 866 00:48:14,224 --> 00:48:15,851 Monica? 867 00:48:15,934 --> 00:48:16,935 Where? 868 00:48:17,019 --> 00:48:18,812 Santa Monica, California. 869 00:48:18,895 --> 00:48:20,230 Oh, of course. 870 00:48:22,482 --> 00:48:24,151 Excuse me. 871 00:48:35,579 --> 00:48:37,456 Hello. 872 00:48:37,539 --> 00:48:38,707 Monica. 873 00:48:38,790 --> 00:48:41,001 I thought I told you to leave me alone. 874 00:48:41,084 --> 00:48:44,338 But love, I'm your birthday present. 875 00:48:44,421 --> 00:48:45,922 My birthday was yesterday. 876 00:48:46,006 --> 00:48:46,381 Oh, you're such a kidder. 877 00:48:46,465 --> 00:48:48,175 No, I'm not. 878 00:48:56,099 --> 00:48:58,602 I don't want you following me anywhere anymore. 879 00:48:58,685 --> 00:48:59,519 I've got to hand it to you, Len. 880 00:48:59,603 --> 00:49:01,271 You certainly work fast. 881 00:49:01,355 --> 00:49:03,065 Oh, well. 882 00:49:03,148 --> 00:49:04,858 This, uh, unattractive young lady 883 00:49:04,942 --> 00:49:06,860 was just mistaking me for a beefeater, 884 00:49:06,943 --> 00:49:09,946 but I'm a vegetarian. 885 00:49:10,030 --> 00:49:12,366 I'm Len Ross, and this is my wife Kathy Ross. 886 00:49:12,449 --> 00:49:13,700 What is your name, young lady? - Monica. 887 00:49:13,784 --> 00:49:15,077 Monica Blackburn. - How do you do? 888 00:49:15,160 --> 00:49:15,827 Nice to meet you. 889 00:49:15,911 --> 00:49:16,536 It's a pleasure. 890 00:49:16,620 --> 00:49:17,829 Ah, well hello, Monica. 891 00:49:17,913 --> 00:49:19,956 And, uh, you have a very lovely city here. 892 00:49:20,040 --> 00:49:21,333 We really should be seeing the rest it. 893 00:49:21,416 --> 00:49:22,668 Yes. 894 00:49:22,751 --> 00:49:23,710 Well, uh, Miss Blackburn, perhaps you can help us. 895 00:49:23,794 --> 00:49:25,545 We were going to see the Houses of Parliament. 896 00:49:25,629 --> 00:49:26,838 Can you tell us how to get there? 897 00:49:26,922 --> 00:49:28,423 Oh I can do better that that. 898 00:49:28,507 --> 00:49:29,716 I'll take you there. - Oh, no. 899 00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:30,676 No. - Wonderful. 900 00:49:30,759 --> 00:49:33,345 Well, I mean, don't put yourself out. 901 00:49:33,428 --> 00:49:35,222 Oh, but I want to. 902 00:49:35,305 --> 00:49:36,890 I won't hear of it. 903 00:49:36,973 --> 00:49:38,600 I've never seen you so rude. 904 00:49:38,684 --> 00:49:41,687 This young lady is offering her warm British hospitality, 905 00:49:41,770 --> 00:49:42,771 and you're offending her. 906 00:49:42,854 --> 00:49:45,399 Uh, whatever you say, dear. 907 00:49:45,482 --> 00:49:46,191 Smashing. 908 00:49:46,274 --> 00:49:46,983 Good. 909 00:49:50,779 --> 00:49:53,073 [theme music] 60546

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