All language subtitles for The.Mick.S02E10.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.x265.10bit.AAC.5.1-Qman[UTR]_track3_[eng]

She's coming in hot.
She's The Mick.

-Yaah!
-I just built that.

It didn't take.

Catch all-new episodes Tuesdays.

And check out our other Fox
programs-- Brooklyn Nine-Nine,

The Last Man on Earth and
Ghosted.

I don't really know how
to do any of this stuff.

Only on Fox.

What the hell are you doing?

Trying to figure out
what this thing's for.

But... Yeah, I got it.

It's not a bottle opener, you
caveman, it's a piece of art.

That? No, it's not.

I'm not doing this.
I am hosting a salon

for the junior board of the Met
tomorrow night, so please,

just drink yourself into a coma
on the early side.

Absolutely not. No.
Get a bunch of hair everywhere?

I don't think so.

Not a hair salon, dingus.

A salon is an intellectual
gathering of young tastemakers.

I dare you to say something
more pretentious.

(chuckles)
Hey, Mickey, check it out.

-It kind of looks like balls.
-Oh, yeah.

(laughs):
Absolutely, looks like balls.

-It's a heart. -No,
that's a bottle-opening scrotum.

Why do you even care
about this crap?

Because a seat opened up
on their board.

This is my chance to get in

with the elite art community.

Oh. You're social climbing.

Okay, you know what?
I don't have time for this.

-Alba, hit me.
-Okay. Uh, art deco.

Art deco. A pastiche
of many different styles,

sometimes contradictory,

united by an effort
to be modern. Art deco.

-Yeah. Nailed it.
-Nice.

All right. Uh, how'd you get
roped into this?

Oh. She's giving me
diamond earrings.

Oh, you're social climbing.

Nice. At least she admits it.

Oh, there's no shame in it.
(chuckles)

Mickey, can you make Totsi
a cup of coffee?

What the hell is a Totsi
and what's it doing in my house?

-Not your house.
-BEN: Totsi's my friend.

He's got snakes for hair,
and a blue belt in karate.

Almost purple.

Smart. With a name like Totsi,
you're gonna need

to know how to fight.

I was named
after an African king.

Oh, yeah? Mickey was named
after a malt liquor.

I take my coffee black.

Oh, well, I'm not a barista.

Mickey, please. He's my friend.

All right, fine.

I'll make you
a cup of coffee, Totsi.

But only because
you're a friend of Ben's,

and I have
the utmost respect...

Are-are you...? Is he...?

(laughing):
Dad! I...

-I mean, Mr. Buckley.
-I see athleticism

hasn't skipped a generation.

You watched my practice.

The end of it.

Listen, um,

I feel bad about what happened.

Uh, but you got to understand,

you went on a date
with your sister.

J-Just so you know,
I never whipped it out...

Yeah, that's-that's in
the past. It's in the past.

-Okay.
-The point is,

if you're still interested,

I'd love to hang out sometime.

I'm free right now.

Well, I can't right now.
I'm going on

a business trip to Maine.

Yeah. That-that...

Super... that's super chill.

You know what? Uh...

How'd you like to tag along?

Are you kidding me? Yes. Yes.

Y-Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay.

What are you doing out here?

Totsi's meditating.
He didn't want me to interrupt

his breath cycle.

Why do you hang out
with that clown?

Because he's cool,
and hanging out with him

makes me cool.

All right. Buddy...

I want to tell you
that being cool isn't important,

but I'm not gonna say that
'cause it's not true, you know?

Being cool is-is very,
very important, but I'm sure

there are other things that
are more important than that.

-Like what?
-Ooh...

Yeah, I don't know,
nothing's coming to mind.

You want to go check on Totsi?

Yo, Sting. Hot coffee,
coming at you.

How was your meditation?

Gorgeous.

I suffered, I learned,
I changed.

You were upstairs
for four minutes.

Is this instant coffee?

Nope. Freshly brewed.

I don't believe you.

Show me the beans.

I'm not showing you my beans.

'Cause there are no beans.

There's loads of beans, okay?

I don't need to explain
my beans to you. What...?

Oh, are you serious? All right,
that's it, you're done.

-Come on, I'm taking you home.
-But Aunt Mickey!

No. It's for his own good.

Have a little talk
with your mom.

See if I can't cram him
back inside of her,

and then kick her
down a flight of stairs.

When you said
that we were flying,

I didn't realize
that you would be flying us.

It's the Buckley way.

Talk about soaring like a bird.

What?

It's... because we're as high as
a bird, but going twice as fast.

Hey, do me a favor, take the
controls for a second, will you?

Go ahead.

(chuckles)

-(engine sputters)
-(shouts)

-Oh, oh!
-(screaming)

We're going down!
Brace yourself!

-(laughing)
-(screaming, laughing)

(chuckles)

I'm just messing with you, kid.

Oh, that's funny.

You're a funny guy. You got me.

Ah...

(sighs)

So-so where are we headed?

Where-where are we staying?

Great outdoors, my boy.

We're testing a whole bunch
of brand-new camping equipment

for my store.

You don't mind
a little camping, do you?

Are you kidding me?

I frickin' love camping.

I can't wait to meet
the demon who spawned you.

Hi, sweetie!

Hi.

I'm Jennie.

(quietly):
Garth.

Oh, I am freaking out!
(laughs)

Beverly Hills, 90210
is how I learned English.

And Kelly?
Oh, she was my favorite.

She was burned in a fire
and she rose from the ashes.

-I know. Take a breath.
Don't be weird. -Okay, yeah.

Oh, hey. I'm glad you're here.

Uh, slight change of plans.
We're now gonna be

-co-hosting the salon.
-False.

I think you'll be whistling
a slightly different tune

when you find out who
I'll be bringing as my plus-one.

Who?

Jennie Garth.

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Kelly Taylor.

No. Neither of them can come.

They're the same person.
Wha-- 90210.

456789. What are you saying?

All right, never mind.
I'm bringing television star

Jennie Garth to the salon.

-No, you're not. -Sabrina,
I would hope you know by now

that if you try and stop me, I'm
just gonna show up and ruin it.

Come on, a few hours ago,
you were saying that my salon

was lame and pretentious.

It is.
Nothing will ever change that.

Oh, so you're social climbing.

You are such a hypocrite.

How is that social climbing?

I invited a performance artist

to an art party.
It makes perfect sense.

Yeah. Television
is the lowest form of art, okay?

It's a rung
below macaroni jewelry.

You're just friends with her
because she's a celebrity.

Well, that's just insane.

She is a-a wonderful,
warm, loving person.

You should take some acting
lessons from your new friend.

Alba, let's go.
We've got work to do.

Uh, I-I can't.
I'm helping Mickey now.

Oh, she promised
to get Jennie to sign

my collector's lunchbox
and thermos. (chuckles)

God. You're worse
than all of us.

Ugh. What a Brenda, right?

(laughing):
Yeah. The worst.

Ah, what do you say
we go for a row?

I'll get the paddles,
you get the canoe down.

Yeah, no problem. I just...

I practically live at the gym,
so I got this.

Good for you.
Hopefully, all that hard work

will show up
on your body one day.

All right, let's see here.

-(Howard screaming)
-Oh! Oh, my God!

-Oh, my God!
-Oh, my leg! You crushed me!

What the hell's
the matter with you?

Oh, my God! I'm so sorry, Daddy,
I didn't mean to!

I-I'll call for help!

(grunts)

(shouts)
I got to frickin' cell service!

-We're so screwed.
-Hey, stay with me, kid.

Remember: you're a Buckley.

-It's inside you.
-Where inside me?

Deep inside you.

I'm just having
t-trouble finding it.

-Can you help me...
-Damn it, Chip,

listen to me!

You can do this.

I believe in you.

You're right. I can do this.

I can.

I need you to run back
to the campsite.

I need you to get a tarp,

a lantern
and a bottle of whiskey.

What? What do I look like,
frickin' Tomb Raider?

I can't go into the woods alone.

What-what if I fell
into a crevice,

or I get attacked by wolves
or I get raped by lumberjacks?

Run, damn you!

Duchamp's Fountain
was about the distinction

between art objects
and everyday objects.

It was primarily
a provocation...

Jennie, you came.

-You made it.
-So happy to be here.

Ooh, this house is just pulsing
with artistic energy.

-I can feel it.
-Can you? Yes.

Well, that is the vibe
that I've curated, so...

(chuckles)

Hi, I'm Jennie.

So nice to meet you.

M-Mickey. I invited you.

Oh! I'm sorry.

I just meet so many people.

-Oh.
-Mm-hmm. L-Let me just focus.

Mickey.

-Mm-hmm.
-Right? Mickey, Mickey.

Mickey. Mickley.

Sickly.

Cancer.

Mickey! Ah.

See? I won't forget now.

I hope you don't mind
I brought Totsi.

He just wasn't connecting
with the sitter.

Mm. No, absolutely.

He's a... he's a delight.

We're happy to have
the little ninja.

Ninjas are feudal
Japanese mercenaries.

I'm a karateka.

I fight for honor.

My mistake.
Why don't you go find Ben?

ALBA:
Uh, Mickey?

Uh, you haven't introduced me
to your new friend.

-Jennie, this is Alba.
Alba, Jennie. -Ah.

-Alba.
-Yeah.

Abla. Habla español. Alba!

That was really good.
Oh, so good. Yeah.

Hey.

-Ah, Milky.
-Mm.

-Mickey.
-You know? I wanted to say,

I am just thrilled
that Totsi and Ben

are getting along so great.

Yeah, and a lot of kids
just don't get him, you know?

People don't get
a lot of cool stuff. Right?

Like uni and, uh,
John Cougar Mellencamp.

-Totally. Yeah.
-Mm-hmm.

I mean, it's not our job to put

rules and restrictions
on these kids.

Nope. The only limit
I put on Ben is no limits.

-Mm-hmm! -Right,
I just encourage that guy

-to floor it right through life.
-Mm.

You know, I have been seeing
this new dietician,

and it has changed my life.

Like I can tell,

just by looking at your skin,

that your diet is all wonky.

Let me guess, a lot of potatoes,
beer, empty calories?

I-I mean, I had a potato
for lunch, but...

Is this a safe space
to connect with you physically?

Why do you drink?

Yeah, that's a... cool...

big question.

Are you ashamed?

Lonely? Depressed?

I mean, what is it? Missy,

-your pain is palpable.
-Oh...

-Let it out!
-Okay.

I love feelings. I mean, that's
why we're all artists, right?

So we can just feel things?

-(thudding in distance)
-Sure. Sure. Yeah.

-BEN: No! Stop it!
-I-I'm gonna check on the boys.

Hey, Jennie. Do me, do me!
I like to drink, too.

-(laughs)
-Alba! Yeah.

-Okay. Hi.
-(giggling): Oh!

What the hell happened in here?

Totsi broke my stuff.

I set you free.

Man is enslaved
by his possessions.

Well, that's not really
your call to make, Totsi.

Ben and I like our possessions.

Your spirits are not aligned
with your core values.

No, no, no, no, no.
Come back. Hey!

Open your eyes and... I am not
done talking to you. Hey!

I know you can hear me in there.

He can hear me in there, Ben.

I don't want
to play with him anymore.

You know what?
I don't want to play

with his mom anymore, either.

-(humming)
-What?

What is that? That's a...

That's an irritating sound.

I so envy the work
you guys are doing.

I mean, to be able to create
under stress-free circumstances.

I mean, there's a lot of work
that goes into it, so...

Oh, yes. Of course, of course.
I'm just saying

that you're lucky you're not
an actress, because you don't

have to deal with all
the pressure. You know?

Plus, you're-you're shielded,
you know,

from the-from
the harsh criticisms

of-of... people
actually seeing your work.

Oh, see? Look how lucky you are.

Hey. Excuse me, everyone.

-Hi. Jennie.
-Yeah, Cancer. Right?

-Uh, just real quick.
-Uh...

I-I can't. I can't do it
anymore, she-she sucks.

Look, I don't care
if she's a celebrity,

she's the worst, her son's
the worst. They got to go.

But she is still Jennie.

-Who cares? She's...
-Enough is enough.

Okay? I gave her a chance.

She sucks. She's got to go.

Okay.

I respect you, and if
it's that important to you,

-I will ask her to leave.
-Thank you.

But I'm gonna need
that bracelet first.

-Oh, no. Don't...
-Fine.

Whatever.

-Oh...
-Boot her.

Oh, don't do it.
(scoffs)

-Jen, hey.
-Mm!

-Can we talk for just a second?
-Oh.

I am having so much fun.

-We have to do this more often.
-Yeah, well, that's the thing.

-Eh, this isn't gonna be the...
-Saturday.

I'm going to a thing.
You should come.

Yeah. Oh, Mario
is gonna love you.

-Mario?
-Lopez.

-(gasps) Uh...
-Yeah.

-His parties are insane.
-Uh-huh? Are they?

So, yeah,
I'll forward you the thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Forward it on over.

Okay.

Ooh, yay! I love our friendship.

-Oh, gosh! Our-our friendship...
-(clattering in distance)

...is-is great.
I'm gonna go check on the boys.

-BEN: Ow! That hurt!
-I'm gonna check on those guys.

(gasping)

Hey! Let go of him.

Not until he submits.

-You will release him right now,
you little jerk! -Ow!

I... I'm sorry.

I'm telling Jennie!

No. I'm sorry.
I was-I was kidding.

That was a great chokehold.

-Move! I'm telling!
-No, no, no...

Ah, ah, ah!

I'm afraid I can't let you
do that, Totsi.

Okay, uh, this is not ideal,
I see that.

But we-we can fix this, right?
What would you like?

Would you like some ice cream?
I can bring some brownies up...

-I want Jennie!
-Shh! Okay.

I can't do that,
but anything else.

-Jennie! -Shut it! We got to
shut this kid up. All right.

-Listen... whoa!
-(shouts)

What are you doing?

You wanted me to shut him up.

We don't hit.

Here. Stuff this sock
in his mouth.

ALBA:
Y-You don't have to get...

What?
(gasps)

What have you done?

I know. I'm trying to fix it.
Okay?

-But what about my thermos?
-We're way past that now.

-I need your help.
-No! No, no, no, no, no.

I only did all of this
to be friends with Jennie,

-and that is all I care about.
-We don't need Jennie anymore.

-What? -She invited me
to Mario Lopez's birthday party

this weekend.

And do you know
what he has access to?

All of Hollywood.

-All of Hollywood.
-Okay, yeah.

Yeah. We leapfrog this bitch.

Let's go secure that invite.

-Ben, hang out with Totsi.
-Yeah.

But I don't want to.

He broke all the stuff I like.

Then break something he likes.
I don't know.

-Figure it out.
-Yeah.

(door closes)

(panting):
I got it, I got all the stuff!

I got all the stuff! I did...

I was so fast, Dad!
I was so fast!

Okay. First thing
we got to do...

(grunts)

...we got to sterilize
the wound.

-Seriously?!
-I'm so, so sorry.

-Give me the booze.
-(panting): Okay.

-(yelling in pain)
-(groans)

Ow!

All right...
(grunts in pain)

All right, you're
gonna pop the bone back in

while I bite down on this.

Are you insane?
I can't do that!

Of course you can do it.
You're a Buckley!

-(quietly): I'm a Buckley.
-Okay, grab my leg.

On three, I want you to pull
with all your strength.

Okay.

One,

two, three!

-(cracks)
-(screaming)

(sobbing): I asked you
to pull, you bastard!

-I thought you said push!
-I clearly said pull.

It's okay.
We're gonna do it again.

And this time pull,
you son of a bitch!

One, two...

three!

-(crack)
-Oh-ho-ho!

Aha! I did it!

I'm like
a frickin' ortho surgeon!

-Boom, baby!
-That was the easy part.

Now you have
to drag me out of here.

Really? I... you know, I...

I feel like we should...
we should just rest, or...

-you know, just start fresh
in the morning. -Damn it, Chip,

I'll be dead by morning.

You need to unfold this tarp

and put me on it
and drag me out of here,

following the North Star.

What's the North Star?

(sighs)

(clinking)

Hi. Uh...

I'm sorry, I just want to say
a couple of things.

Tonight has been one of the most
inspiring nights of my life.

I... I've been
kind of down lately.

Well, since 9/11, actually.

But not tonight.

Tonight I am feeling reborn.

And it is because
of all of you, really.

You know what?
I have idea.

I think we should make a pact,

right here, right now,

to never stop creating.

(murmuring)

'Cause I can't do it alone,
not anymore.

I need you guys. Okay?

Thank you. Really.

Cheers.

(sparse clapping)

I am so sorry about her.

Why? She's great.

She's so passionate.

-I was the biggest fan
of her show. -I'm happy

-to introduce you. -Would you?
That would be amazing.

Of course.

Hey, you havin'
a good time, buddy?

-Hi! -Listen, uh, do you think I
could grab that invite from you

real quick, just so I
could pop it in my calendar?

I don't want the day to fill up.

-Oh, sure.
-Jen. So sorry to interrupt.

Um, I hooked a fan.
Not shocking, I know.

Okay, but not now, not now.
Hey, where is your phone?

You want me to call it to see
if we can hear it buzz or...?

Um, Totsi confiscated it--
he thinks

I'm too reliant
on the technology.

Oh, man, you two have
a beautiful relationship.

-I'll go grab it.
-You know, I'll go.

-It's time for his hug anyway.
-No! Nobody touches the boys.

-Is everything okay?
-Of course everything's okay.

What are you...

-Wha...?
-She is... she loves a party.

She can't stand to miss
a minute of a party.

You two hang out. Have fun.
I'll be right back.

-Mm. Enjoy ourselves.
-Yeah. We're cool.

-Mush. Mush.
-(quiet grunting)

Mush!

Leave me here to die.

-I'm just a pile of meat now.
-(coyotes howling)

Stop talking like that.
You're gonna make it.

Strip my clothes off...

so the coyotes
can pick up my scent.

Shut up.
I think I hear something.

It's probably the dogs.

Go. You can get a head start
while they feast.

It's a car!
There must be a road!

(panting)

(gasping breaths)

Whoa, are you okay?

(panting):
No.

My dad needs a hospital.

Okay, just calm down.
What's your name?

Chip.

Chip Buckley.

All right, Totsi, I need
your mom's pho... (gasps)

Ben? What did you do?!

I took his hair,
just like you said.

I didn't say that.

I didn't say anything
remotely close to that.

Oh, this is bad.
No, no, no, no, no.

This is very bad.

Aw, Ben.

Okay, do-do you have,
like, a hot glue gun

-or something?
-ALBA: No. Wait. You cannot...

Mickey, what the hell?

Damn it, Alba, I told you
to keep her out of here.

Well, she promised me tickets
to the Met Gala.

-Do you even know what that is?
-It sounds very exclusive.

-What did you do?
-I didn't do this. Ben did.

Mickey tied him up.

-Wha...
-I did do that.

-Okay, we need to fix it.
-I thought you hated her.

I did, but now she's my ticket
to the junior museum board.

Oh, could you stop obsessing
about boards?

Nobody cares about boards!
I need her to help me

get into Mario Lopez's
birthday party.

-Aha! You are social climbing.
-Of course I'm social climbing.

I want to be friends
with celebrities. Who doesn't?

Okay, we got to figure out
something, because I am going

to that gala, or I am getting
my thermos signed.

Well, okay, um, let's think.

All right, how about
we just feed her drinks

until she blacks out,
and then when she comes to,

we tell her that she
shaved her son's head.

That's the stupidest idea
you've ever had.

-It wasn't a great one.
-Oh, yeah,

but maybe we shave
our heads, too,

make her think she went
on a head-shaving rampage.

-I'm not shaving my head!
-Mm, not gonna do that, no.

Well, I was piggybacking
on yours.

Oh, my God!

Totsi?

-(muffled shouts)
-Hey, girl.

They, you know, the boys,
they were just playing

-cowboys and Indians.
-No. My Totsi

does not reenact genocide.

He marches against it.

-He's a really woke kid.
-Yeah, you know,

I think we're all gonna
laugh our butts off about this,

-you know, at Mario's party.
-(forced laughter)

No, no. I never want
to see you again.

I thought you were
my friend, Mindred.

It's Mickey! I...

Are you okay, baby?
Let's get out of here.

(screams)

Ben did it.

-Yeah, it was him.
-(gasps)

Hey.

I'm so proud of you.

You were a real Buckley today.

But I have some bad news.

I'm bleeding internally.

What?

(crying):
Daddy, no.

(chuckles)
I'm just messin' with ya.

(both laughing)

Mm.
(chuckles)

-MAN: Excuse me.
-Phillip. Come on in.

(whispers)

(door closes)

Chip, inside this envelope

are the results of a DNA test
I requested this morning.

I wanted to find out just how
much you and I had in common.

Turns out nothing.

Huh?

I'm not your dad.

Ha-ha! The joke of all jokes.

You got me.

It's not a joke.
This is real life, son.

Oh, sorry. Chip.

Um, I asked an FBI buddy of mine

to run a DNA match for you,

and your dad was already
in the system,

so it was a pretty quick search.

I just hope he's a better man
than that file indicates.

ALBA:
It kind of looks like balls.

Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH

Hope you
enjoyed
kickin' it
with The Mick.

Now here are a few more shows
to check out from Fox.

MAN (on PA): United--

Good afternoon, everyone.
This is your captain.

Flight 1610,
service to "Lost Wages."

Why aren't you laughing?

I've heard it,
like, 1,200 times.

LA to Vegas is set
on a budget passenger airline

that goes from LA to Vegas
every weekend

and then back from Vegas to LA
at the end of the weekend.

It's just a bunch of regulars
who fly on this route.

It's a little like
a Cheers in the sky.

We all say
it's Love Boat
in the sky.

Jackpot Airlines is probably
the finest airline
you could ever fly

because not only
do you get there,
you get free peanuts.

I thought I was going
to travel the world,

meet interesting people.

I thought I would
have adventures.

I thought I was gonna
be a dancer.
Oh, my God.

Is that how crazy
I sound?

Ronnie's such a mess
in her personal life.

When she's on the plane, she
knows exactly what she's doing.

She can keep every single person
in check.

If I can't have some fun
with my passengers,
why am I here?

To fly the plane.
Go do that.

MAN: Bernard. He's a senior
flight attendant.

He knows everything. He knows
everything about everyone.

Got dressed
in the terminal again,
didn't you?

At least I wore
underwear this time.

My character, Artem,
he's a professional
gambler.

How'd you do
this weekend?
So-so.

What about you?
Pretty good.

Nichole goes to Vegas
on the weekends and strips.

So I'm an exotic dancer,
and I get naked at work.

But I also get naked
in my home.

-Can I write that off
as a home office?
-I don't believe so.

My character is Colin.

I'm a professor
of economics.

He goes to Vegas every weekend
to see his son,

to try and reassemble
their family unit.

But then, of course,
the wrinkle is
that he meets Ronnie.

MATULA: It's just full
of real weird characters

living their lives
every day on a plane
going from LA to Vegas.

Every moment
is going to be filled
with something exciting.

(shouts)

Consider yourself grounded.

I don't like to
be up in the air too long

because I get dementia.