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1
00:00:01,169 --> 00:00:03,037
She's coming in hot.
She's The Mick.
2
00:00:03,071 --> 00:00:05,173
-Yaah!
-I just built that.
3
00:00:05,206 --> 00:00:06,407
It didn't take.
4
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:08,476
Catch all-new episodes Tuesdays.
5
00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:10,511
And check out our other Fox
programs-- Brooklyn Nine-Nine,
6
00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:12,380
The Last Man on Earth and
Ghosted.
7
00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:14,548
I don't really know how
to do any of this stuff.
8
00:00:14,582 --> 00:00:15,749
Only on Fox.
9
00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:20,354
(school bell ringing)
10
00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:24,492
-(phone beeps)
-Hey!
11
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,394
Ah, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's this?
12
00:00:26,427 --> 00:00:28,762
They want to talk to you
about my behavior.
13
00:00:28,796 --> 00:00:31,099
Bye, Miss Crandall.
14
00:00:31,132 --> 00:00:33,734
I'm Mr. Reissman.
I'm the school counselor.
15
00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:35,503
We really wanted
to talk to you...
16
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,338
About Ben's behavior. I know,
the kid just filled me in.
17
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:39,540
Ben has always been one
of my favorite students.
18
00:00:39,573 --> 00:00:41,041
He's so sweet.
19
00:00:41,075 --> 00:00:43,844
But lately
he's become a bit dark.
20
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:46,714
He spends most of his recesses
in the classroom,
21
00:00:46,747 --> 00:00:49,850
just sitting there,
staring at me.
22
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,385
Yeah, well,
maybe he values learning
23
00:00:51,419 --> 00:00:52,920
more than eating boogers
on the slide.
24
00:00:52,953 --> 00:00:54,888
He's doing it right now.
25
00:00:57,291 --> 00:00:59,093
So the kid does a little
light peering, so what?
26
00:00:59,127 --> 00:01:00,594
Today, Ben bit me.
27
00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:01,729
Okay, also some light biting.
28
00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:03,397
Wha-Wha-What's the big deal?
29
00:01:03,431 --> 00:01:05,733
Mr. Reissman would like to
recommend to Ben's doctor
30
00:01:05,766 --> 00:01:09,036
that he be placed on 40
milligrams of ADHD medication.
31
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,571
Is that so?
32
00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:13,541
Oh! Okay, no.
No, thank you.
33
00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:16,043
Focusing Ben on his schoolwork
would have a tremendous impact
34
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,245
on his overall demeanor.
35
00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:18,812
Mm-hmm.
And why do your job
36
00:01:18,846 --> 00:01:20,614
when you can have a pill
do it for you-- am I right?
37
00:01:20,648 --> 00:01:21,982
Let me explain something to you.
38
00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:23,784
Ben's mind is as pure
as his heart.
39
00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:25,319
And as long as I am around,
40
00:01:25,353 --> 00:01:27,721
there will not be a drop
of medication in his body.
41
00:01:27,755 --> 00:01:29,590
Ever. End of story.
42
00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:31,325
Ben's already on the medication.
43
00:01:31,359 --> 00:01:33,561
We're just suggesting
he up his dosage.
44
00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:36,797
We'd just hate to see Ben
slip through the cracks.
45
00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:39,467
He hasn't even started his
project for this weekend's
46
00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:41,335
Lockwood Little Inventors Fair.
47
00:01:41,369 --> 00:01:43,003
Other students have been working
48
00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:45,139
on their inventions
for months now.
49
00:01:45,173 --> 00:01:46,907
Well, speaking of slipping
through the cracks,
50
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:48,509
kind of looks like that shirt
slipped through the cracks
51
00:01:48,542 --> 00:01:50,010
of your laundry basket.
52
00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:51,512
Oh.
(laughs)
53
00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:53,181
Well, I guess years of writing
on white boards
54
00:01:53,214 --> 00:01:54,982
takes its toll on the wardrobe.
55
00:01:55,015 --> 00:01:56,650
(laughs)
Yeah, yeah. Good story.
56
00:01:56,684 --> 00:01:58,118
I'm gonna take care of Ben.
57
00:01:58,152 --> 00:02:00,454
And I'm gonna do it with
some good old-fashioned
58
00:02:00,488 --> 00:02:02,323
hands-on parenting.
59
00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:03,857
Sorry, Big Pharma.
60
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:17,438
Sorry I'm late.
I thought I was being followed.
61
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:19,640
Ended up just being a bunch
of hella cute baby birds.
62
00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:22,710
Okay, official Acorn Boys
meeting number 682
63
00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:24,044
coming to order.
64
00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:26,113
Secretary Joshua Feldstein
presiding.
65
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,881
President Chip,
old business, please.
66
00:02:27,915 --> 00:02:30,050
Okay, well, the possum behind
the north wall
67
00:02:30,083 --> 00:02:31,485
is almost completely decomposed.
68
00:02:31,519 --> 00:02:33,887
Our plan to smoke oregano
out of its skull
69
00:02:33,921 --> 00:02:35,289
will commence tomorrow.
70
00:02:35,323 --> 00:02:37,325
On to today's biz.
What we got?
71
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:46,500
Okay, decent haul.
72
00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:49,069
Not our best, not our worst.
73
00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:52,340
Off the top of my head, we could
soak some tampons in gin
74
00:02:52,373 --> 00:02:53,507
and sit on 'em.
75
00:02:53,541 --> 00:02:54,908
I'm not doing that again.
76
00:02:54,942 --> 00:02:56,744
It's the same exact thing
every weekend.
77
00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:59,313
He's right.
This is kid stuff.
78
00:02:59,347 --> 00:03:00,414
Maybe it's time we put
this whole
79
00:03:00,448 --> 00:03:01,915
Acorn Boys nonsense to bed.
80
00:03:01,949 --> 00:03:03,317
Am I dreaming right now?
81
00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:04,652
Because if I am, wake me up.
82
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,019
This is a freakin' nightmare!
83
00:03:06,053 --> 00:03:07,221
We're Acorn Boys for life.
84
00:03:07,255 --> 00:03:08,389
We took an oath, remember?
85
00:03:08,422 --> 00:03:09,890
We all held hands and-and peed
86
00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:11,191
on that tree stump together.
87
00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:13,227
-We were ten.
-An oath's an oath!
88
00:03:13,261 --> 00:03:16,230
Come on, Chip, you got to admit
it's getting kind of stale.
89
00:03:16,264 --> 00:03:17,565
I mean, you've literally
brought in tampons
90
00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:19,233
five weeks in a row.
91
00:03:19,267 --> 00:03:21,335
These are pads!
They go on it, not in it.
92
00:03:21,369 --> 00:03:22,803
Shows what you know!
93
00:03:24,472 --> 00:03:29,009
I'm sorry.
I apologize.
94
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,878
The pads aren't that different
from tampons.
95
00:03:30,911 --> 00:03:33,447
I can see that now.
96
00:03:33,481 --> 00:03:35,783
Doesn't mean we can't bounce
back from this, right, boys?
97
00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:38,519
-How?
-Well, tomorrow I'll bring in
98
00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:40,120
something so undeniably sick
99
00:03:40,153 --> 00:03:41,955
that you'll be embarrassed
you ever brought up
100
00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:43,724
breaking up the ACBs.
101
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:49,463
Meeting adjourned.
102
00:03:49,497 --> 00:03:51,064
How could you guys not
tell me about this?
103
00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:53,066
Well, Poodle was a big believer
in popping pills.
104
00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:55,068
I've been giving them to him
since he was four.
105
00:03:55,102 --> 00:03:58,406
Ben has been hopped up on drugs
since he was four years old?!
106
00:03:58,439 --> 00:04:01,141
Relax, it's just medication.
Lots of people take it.
107
00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:03,277
And you should be careful
pulling him off so quickly.
108
00:04:03,311 --> 00:04:05,779
When they took me off lithium,
I went full-on crazy.
109
00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:08,148
I would argue you were on
lithium because you were crazy.
110
00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:10,384
Ben will be fine, all right.
He's young.
111
00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:11,885
His mind's a little spring,
he'll bounce right back.
112
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:13,421
That's what I'm talking about.
113
00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:15,055
If that kid can handle
what we've been through
114
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:16,757
-in the last few months,
he can handle anything. -Yeah.
115
00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:18,892
Or maybe those pills are
his last tether to sanity.
116
00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:21,962
-You ever think of that?
-No pill is going to parent Ben.
117
00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:23,497
-That is our job.
-Yeah, that's right.
118
00:04:23,531 --> 00:04:24,798
We are the pills.
119
00:04:24,832 --> 00:04:26,567
Can't wait to see that
old bowl of soup
120
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,969
Crandall's face when he wins
that stupid Inventors Fair,
121
00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:30,270
and he does it drug-free.
122
00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:32,440
Oh, yeah, and then shove
it in her face
123
00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:34,174
-and show her, yeah, yeah...
-Stupid four-eyed nerd.
124
00:04:34,207 --> 00:04:35,609
-She wear glasses?
-She doesn't wear glasses,
125
00:04:35,643 --> 00:04:36,944
but I bet she's got some
in her night table.
126
00:04:36,977 --> 00:04:37,945
Dollars to doughnuts,
sleeps alone.
127
00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:39,347
Ah, stupid night nerd.
128
00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:41,248
Okay. Wow.
Doesn't take much
129
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:42,850
to get you two on a crusade,
does it?
130
00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:43,884
-Barely anything.
-Almost nothing.
131
00:04:47,521 --> 00:04:51,091
Okay, hands-on parenting,
first attempt, take one.
132
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:53,961
All right, Benghazi,
hit me with an idea.
133
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:56,964
A vest. I think Miss Crandall
would really like a vest.
134
00:04:56,997 --> 00:05:00,768
Hmm, well, not that exciting,
but, uh...
135
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:02,302
how great does it really
need to be?
136
00:05:02,336 --> 00:05:05,005
Uh, Mickey, I just looked up
some past winners.
137
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:07,274
MICKEY: "Toothbrush with
toothpaste dispenser inside."
138
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,209
"Self-watering plant pot"?
139
00:05:09,242 --> 00:05:11,211
That vest is gonna get smoked.
140
00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:13,547
Yeah, I think we're gonna
have to dig
141
00:05:13,581 --> 00:05:15,215
a little deeper, bud--
what else you got?
142
00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:17,385
Toilet pants!
143
00:05:18,486 --> 00:05:20,621
Toilet pants?
144
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:23,357
His brain's all jacked up from
quitting those meds cold turkey.
145
00:05:23,391 --> 00:05:25,693
He's used to being
artificially stimulated.
146
00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:28,295
No. He just needs to dust off
the cobwebs a little bit.
147
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,531
Come on, buddy. Come on.
Let's go get your mind right.
148
00:05:30,564 --> 00:05:32,466
I'm warning you,
you're playing with fire.
149
00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:34,868
I'm warning you,
stop warning me about stuff.
150
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:52,753
Oh, God!
151
00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:54,187
Sniffing my undies, bro?
152
00:05:54,221 --> 00:05:55,756
No, I'm just looking
for something, okay?
153
00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:57,257
Yeah, what kind of something?
154
00:05:57,290 --> 00:06:00,428
Something. I don't know.
Uh, condoms?
155
00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:02,430
Try the Smithsonian.
156
00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:06,033
What are you doing?
157
00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:07,501
Listen, I need something cool
158
00:06:07,535 --> 00:06:09,269
I can bring back
to the Acorn Boys.
159
00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:10,838
Who the hell are the Acorn Boys?
160
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:13,273
It's my secret group.
161
00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:15,242
If you tell anybody,
I'll beat your ass.
162
00:06:15,275 --> 00:06:16,577
All right, calm down.
163
00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:17,878
Let me guess:
164
00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:19,780
beginning days of the group,
165
00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:21,281
it was a non-stop thrill ride.
166
00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:23,884
And now you're getting
a little bit older,
167
00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:25,118
and the thrill is gone.
168
00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:26,520
So you're looking for something,
169
00:06:26,554 --> 00:06:29,122
anything, just to
put you back on top.
170
00:06:29,156 --> 00:06:31,124
That's exactly right.
How'd you know?
171
00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:33,126
'Cause I had a group of my own
back in the day.
172
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:35,295
Called ourselves
Boys in the Hole.
173
00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:36,730
Weird. Why?
174
00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:38,932
'Cause we hung out in a hole.
175
00:06:38,966 --> 00:06:40,801
Give me 400 bucks,
I'll fix your problem.
176
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:42,069
400 bucks?
For what?
177
00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:43,804
It'll be worth it.
Trust me.
178
00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:45,939
You're gonna want to hold
onto these days for dear life,
179
00:06:45,973 --> 00:06:50,110
because once they are over,
it is downhill.
180
00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:51,111
I can see that.
181
00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:52,980
MICKEY:
Go, go, go,
182
00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:56,617
go, go, go, go, go,
go, go, go, go, go!
183
00:06:56,650 --> 00:07:00,220
Go! Stop! Okay.
184
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:01,555
-ALBA: Okay. Salmon time.
-MICKEY: Yep.
185
00:07:01,589 --> 00:07:02,823
Down the hatch.
All of it.
186
00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:04,625
But I don't like
the fishy taste.
187
00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:06,326
Well, do you like the coppery
taste of failure?
188
00:07:06,359 --> 00:07:07,628
'Cause that's all
you're gonna be tasting
189
00:07:07,661 --> 00:07:09,229
unless you eat
that whole plate, okay?
190
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,931
Come on, even the weird gray
part at the bottom.
191
00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:12,500
-And the bones.
-Not the bone...
192
00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:14,668
Why would he eat the bones?
Don't eat the bones.
193
00:07:14,702 --> 00:07:17,137
I don't want to eat any of it.
I'm not hungry.
194
00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:18,772
-Uh...
-It's not about your belly.
195
00:07:18,806 --> 00:07:20,574
-Uh-uh.
-We are feeding your brain.
196
00:07:20,608 --> 00:07:22,943
-There we go, chew it up.
-Good boy. Good boy.
197
00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:25,145
All right! What do you think?
Any ideas?
198
00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:26,146
Toilet pants.
199
00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:27,748
You already said that, guy.
200
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,149
You already said that. Remember?
201
00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:30,183
A hat you can pee in.
202
00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:31,685
Isn't that just a toilet hat?
203
00:07:31,719 --> 00:07:33,487
You got anything
non-toilet-related?
204
00:07:33,521 --> 00:07:35,923
A tree that sings.
205
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:38,125
A basketball I can dunk.
206
00:07:38,158 --> 00:07:40,160
-ALBA: Mm-hmm.
-Uh, sparkling milk.
207
00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:42,029
Uh, a butt
you don't have to wipe.
208
00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:43,831
Okay. I have a-- you know
what we should do?
209
00:07:43,864 --> 00:07:45,132
We should just...
We should take a break.
210
00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:46,700
Yep.
-Let's take a break.
211
00:07:46,734 --> 00:07:48,035
-Right. -We-We've all
been working so hard.
212
00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:49,102
-Yeah.
-But I still have more ideas.
213
00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:50,504
MICKEY:
You do?
214
00:07:50,538 --> 00:07:52,305
Well, that's great news for me.
Go write 'em down...
215
00:07:52,339 --> 00:07:53,707
-Yeah. -...and I can't wait
to read 'em.
216
00:07:53,741 --> 00:07:54,775
-Okay.
-Okay?
217
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,109
Okay.
218
00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:57,945
-Okay. Uh, new plan.
-Mm.
219
00:07:57,978 --> 00:08:00,213
We're gonna come up
with his idea for him.
220
00:08:00,247 --> 00:08:01,515
Can't get more hands-on
than that.
221
00:08:01,549 --> 00:08:03,383
-Oh, yeah. It's good.
-Let's go.
222
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:09,156
-All right. I'm leaving.
-Hey.
223
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:10,691
He'll be here.
224
00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:12,560
I-I don't get who this guy is.
225
00:08:12,593 --> 00:08:13,561
How old is he?
226
00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:15,462
Old. He's banging my aunt.
227
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,130
Trust me, this guy's plugged in.
228
00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:18,666
(knocking on door)
229
00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:21,501
JIMMY:
Gentlemen, brace yourselves.
230
00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:25,338
The future
of the Acorn Boys is now.
231
00:08:25,372 --> 00:08:27,040
(shouting)
232
00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:29,009
-(Jimmy laughs)
-No! -No!
233
00:08:30,678 --> 00:08:32,680
What are you doing?
I gave you $400,
234
00:08:32,713 --> 00:08:34,181
and you get Silly String?
235
00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:36,684
You're right.
236
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:39,086
What a giant waste of money.
237
00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:41,154
Good thing I brought this!
238
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:42,189
-Whoa!
-Oh!
239
00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:43,691
-Whoa!
-Chill out!
240
00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:46,660
Right? She's a beaut.
241
00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:48,829
-That's freaking awesome!
-That's awesome!
242
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,397
It is awesome.
243
00:08:50,430 --> 00:08:51,832
But it is not a toy.
244
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,200
This is a serious
tactical weapon
245
00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:54,434
designed specifically
246
00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:56,203
for precision target shooting.
247
00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:58,606
Think you could put two arrows
in there at the same time?
248
00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:01,374
We can sure as hell try.
249
00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:03,043
* Cypress Hill
250
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:04,544
* Well, I'm an alley cat
251
00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:05,779
-Oh!
-* Some say a dirty rat
252
00:09:05,813 --> 00:09:07,380
* On my side is my gat
253
00:09:07,414 --> 00:09:08,916
* See, I'm all of that,
spittin' out buck shots *
254
00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:10,417
-* Boy, I'm gonna wet'cha
-Oh!
255
00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:11,752
* Run and hide, but I'm still
comin' to get'cha *
256
00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:14,121
* Thinkin' like a peace smoke
257
00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:16,123
* Comin' on a homicide,
you talkin' ish *
258
00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:18,225
* Tryin' to take me for a ride,
I'm not a bad guy *
259
00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:20,594
-* See, I'm the funky feel
-Yeah!
260
00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:22,095
* Finger on the trigger
when my hand's up on the steel *
261
00:09:22,129 --> 00:09:23,196
* Lettin' out a bullet
262
00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:25,132
* This is goin' boo-yah
263
00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:27,701
* You're stuck in my hood,
so what ya gonna do now? *
264
00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:30,237
* Bein' the hunted one
is no fun *
265
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:32,973
-(boys shouting) -* Sawed-off
shotgun, hand on the pump *
266
00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:34,541
-Yeah! -* Left hand on a 40
-* Puffin' on a blunt...
267
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,576
Ah, thank you, Acorn Boys,
268
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:38,879
for allowing me to be
part of your sacred group.
269
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:42,616
Even if it was for just one
destruction-soaked afternoon.
270
00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:52,525
(exhales)
271
00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:57,397
-See you boys in the next life.
-Hey, where you going?
272
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,566
Uh, I paid for that. It's
official Acorn Boys property.
273
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:00,934
You think I'm gonna leave
a bunch of kids alone
274
00:10:00,968 --> 00:10:02,469
with a crossbow?
275
00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:05,072
What kind of moron
do you think I am?
276
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,840
-(grunts)
-FELDSTEIN: What the hell, Chip?
277
00:10:06,874 --> 00:10:09,176
Now that we've had a crossbow,
278
00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:11,278
we can't just go back
to not having one.
279
00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:12,412
All right, don't worry.
280
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,580
I'll think of something, okay?
281
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:14,648
MICKEY:
This is insane.
282
00:10:14,682 --> 00:10:16,283
How is a seven-year-old
283
00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:17,951
supposed to come up with
something that no person
284
00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:19,753
-has ever come up with?
-I don't know.
285
00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:22,022
They're all jacked up
on brain pills, that's how.
286
00:10:22,055 --> 00:10:23,991
We can't compete with that.
287
00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:25,592
Yeah, we're like the one
baseball player
288
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,494
not cranked on steroids,
while all the other gorillas
289
00:10:27,527 --> 00:10:28,862
are out there just slamming
290
00:10:28,896 --> 00:10:31,164
-home run after home run.
-Yeah.
291
00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:33,701
You know what I think
we got to do?
292
00:10:33,734 --> 00:10:35,836
-Hmm. -I think we got to level
the playing field.
293
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:37,805
-What?
-Hear me out. Listen. I know
294
00:10:37,838 --> 00:10:40,808
I was heavily against Ben
polluting his developing mind,
295
00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:43,443
but think about it
this way: our minds?
296
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:45,612
Already polluted.
297
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:46,980
That makes sense.
298
00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:48,281
We just need a little nudge,
you know?
299
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:50,450
So we can give him
a little nudge.
300
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:53,053
You know what?
301
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:56,156
I don't see any other way.
302
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,329
Oh, boy. Ah. Not to be
a hypocrite or anything,
303
00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:03,864
but these meds,
they are the real McCoy.
304
00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:05,966
-Right? I am feelin' noice!
-(exclaims)
305
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,567
My brain feels
like the Internet.
306
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,803
Yeah, okay.
So, it's, uh, it's idea time.
307
00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:11,638
-Yeah. -I'm just gonna... I'm
just gonna flow from the dome.
308
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:12,840
-All right, uh...
-Okay. Spit!
309
00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:13,907
It should be sleek, am I right?
310
00:11:13,941 --> 00:11:16,343
And modern. Biodegradable.
311
00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:19,146
-Yes, but light. But also heavy.
-Oh, oh, oh, I know, I know!
312
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,581
-What? Oh, what? What, what?
-Um, uh, write this down. Um...
313
00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:24,184
-Oh, shoot! I can taste it.
-Oh, what does it taste like?
314
00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:26,754
-Uh, it's just knocking at
the door. -Open it and grab it!
315
00:11:27,788 --> 00:11:30,824
(grunts)
It's gone, lost.
316
00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:33,160
-Aw, damn it. Close. Okay.
-Yeah, I know. Aw, shoot.
317
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:35,662
All right. (groans)
318
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,865
Well, but here's
the thing, though--
319
00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:40,100
the idea's only, like,
ten percent of the thing.
320
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:41,935
Oh, yeah, totally.
Yeah, yeah. What do you mean?
321
00:11:41,969 --> 00:11:44,604
Businesses these days-- they're
all about branding, right?
322
00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:47,274
-Okay, um... -Apple. You think
that's just a-a computer?
323
00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:49,910
-Is Nike just a sneaker?
-Uh-huh. Yes.
324
00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:51,779
Well, you're kind of right.
But you're also wrong as hell.
325
00:11:51,812 --> 00:11:53,546
These guys--
they sell a lifestyle.
326
00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:55,015
The idea is interchangeable.
327
00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:57,184
What we have to figure out
is Ben's booth.
328
00:11:57,217 --> 00:12:00,387
-His-his Apple Store,
his Niketown. -Uh-huh, uh-huh.
329
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,355
Once we figure out the booth,
then the invention is just gonna
330
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:04,091
come to us organically,
and that blue ribbon
331
00:12:04,124 --> 00:12:06,393
-will be mine.
-Or Ben's.
332
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:08,561
-What, the ribbon? Ben's.
-Yeah.
333
00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:10,197
Yeah, it's Ben's. That's
what I said. What'd I say?
334
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,865
Uh, let me check my notes.
I did not write anything.
335
00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:13,633
-You're not writing?!
-Wha... (stammers)
336
00:12:13,666 --> 00:12:15,402
-Oh, God, I'm gonna rip my hair
out. -Okay, let's go.
337
00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:18,471
Well, why don't you try saying
that to my face, Mom?
338
00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:20,974
What's that?
339
00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:22,575
Uh...
340
00:12:22,609 --> 00:12:24,744
just a majorly deadly weapon.
341
00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:25,779
Can I play with it?
342
00:12:25,813 --> 00:12:27,547
No, you may not.
343
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:30,050
That's okay.
344
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,619
I should probably get ready
for tomorrow anyway.
345
00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:33,921
What's tomorrow?
346
00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:35,956
You'll see.
347
00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:40,760
MICKEY:
Yes!
348
00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:43,496
-Look at us! This-this booth
is amazing. -Oh.
349
00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:45,732
Uh, all we got to do now
is just slide some invention
350
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:49,136
into this box, and that
gold medal will be ours.
351
00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:50,904
-Okay, how we doing on time?
-Yeah. Uh...
352
00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:53,340
-fair starts in a couple hours.
-Pill me.
353
00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:54,641
Oh! No más.
354
00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:56,009
-What are you talking about?!
-Wha...
355
00:12:56,043 --> 00:12:58,178
-You ate them?!
-I was hungry.
356
00:12:58,211 --> 00:13:00,447
Alba, we needed those pills
357
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,149
so we could
destroy the competition.
358
00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:04,184
Okay.
We come up with an idea.
359
00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:06,086
No, you ate all of the ideas.
360
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,587
So, yeah, now it's on you.
361
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,122
Go. Yo... That's-that's yours.
362
00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:10,523
-Come on, think, think, think.
-Uh... Okay.
363
00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:12,525
Okay, okay, okay. Um...
364
00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:14,494
Ooh!
365
00:13:14,527 --> 00:13:18,265
Maybe it's not the competition
we destroy. Hear me out.
366
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,868
What if something were to happen
to Benito's project,
367
00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:23,503
like... it got vandalized?
368
00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:27,040
(gasps) That way
he's a victim, not a loser.
369
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,343
I see no flaws with that plan.
370
00:13:30,377 --> 00:13:31,811
-Yeah!
-Let's do it.
371
00:13:31,845 --> 00:13:34,114
(Alba grunting)
372
00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:35,682
*
373
00:13:35,715 --> 00:13:38,251
(Alba yelling)
374
00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:49,462
(yelling)
375
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:51,731
(both panting)
376
00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:53,233
Okay.
377
00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:56,003
-All right. Okay.
-Yeah. Okay.
378
00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:58,005
-Can I ask you a question?
-Hmm?
379
00:13:58,038 --> 00:14:01,341
Does it look kind of weird that
only Ben's booth was targeted?
380
00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:04,811
Hmm...
381
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:06,046
We could do a couple more.
382
00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:07,915
-Just to be safe.
-Yeah, okay.
383
00:14:07,948 --> 00:14:09,950
*
384
00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:22,229
-Yes! That is more like it.
-Yeah! Yeah.
385
00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:24,197
All right, now it looks like
somebody came in
386
00:14:24,231 --> 00:14:26,233
-and targeted a specific area.
-Yeah.
387
00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:28,535
-That being said...
-Uh-huh?
388
00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:30,670
-Can I ask you
one other quick question? -What?
389
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:33,406
Now does it sort of look like
we bashed up these two booths
390
00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:34,908
just to cover up for that one?
391
00:14:34,942 --> 00:14:38,011
Ah, you think a couple more?
392
00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:40,113
-Okay, yeah.
-Yeah, okay.
393
00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:52,292
(Alba shouts)
394
00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:56,129
-Right?
-Uh-huh.
395
00:14:56,163 --> 00:14:58,398
(panting): I think you got it.
I think we got it.
396
00:14:58,431 --> 00:15:00,300
(door opens)
397
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:03,236
Did you bring it?
398
00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:04,871
No.
399
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,406
All I could find
is more Silly String.
400
00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:08,275
Yo, are you just doing
the same thing Jimmy did?
401
00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:10,210
Yeah, we can see the crossbow
behind your back.
402
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,479
Is it the crossbow
403
00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:15,415
-or is it the crossbow?
-Ow.
404
00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:18,618
(all screaming)
405
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,190
(gags)
406
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:28,628
Chip.
407
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:29,963
ANDREW: Oh, my gosh,
oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh.
408
00:15:29,997 --> 00:15:31,398
There's an arrow sticking
out of his chest!
409
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:33,900
Okay, okay, okay,
everybody just calm down!
410
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,635
Take me, Lord. I'm ready.
411
00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:37,904
You're gonna be fine. Okay?
We can fix this.
412
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,106
I'm so sleepy.
413
00:15:39,139 --> 00:15:40,307
Hey, no. No sleeping. Come on.
414
00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:42,342
Come on, bud.
Please don't die on us.
415
00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:46,146
(grunts)
416
00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:47,947
Stupid Acorn Boys!
417
00:15:47,981 --> 00:15:49,049
Chip!
418
00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:53,586
We got to get that arrow
out of him before Jimmy sees.
419
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:58,025
Andrew, I'm sorry I said
you look like the tired emoji.
420
00:15:59,226 --> 00:16:00,994
Here. Bite down on this.
421
00:16:01,028 --> 00:16:03,363
Sorry, buddy.
422
00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:04,664
(groans)
423
00:16:06,033 --> 00:16:08,935
(all screaming)
424
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,303
-EDUARDO: Oh, my God!
-CHIP: Put the pad on!
425
00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:11,638
(all shouting)
426
00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:14,207
(knocking at door)
427
00:16:17,544 --> 00:16:20,147
-ANDREW: This will never work.
-EDUARDO: Hurry.
428
00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:23,216
CHIP:
Hey. What's up, man?
429
00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:24,951
Did you, uh, bring the crossbow?
430
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:27,354
It's funny you should ask.
431
00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:30,623
My crossbow has gone missing.
432
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:33,360
You wouldn't happen to know
anything about that, would you?
433
00:16:33,393 --> 00:16:34,994
No, that's mad weird.
434
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:42,502
I'm gonna ask you one more time.
435
00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:43,536
Hey, you calling us liars?
436
00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:44,704
Acorn Boys never lie. Got that?
437
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:53,646
Yeah, I respect that.
438
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,382
Boys in the Hole had
a strict no-lying policy, too.
439
00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:58,218
-Holler if you see it, yeah?
-CHIP: Yeah.
440
00:16:58,251 --> 00:16:59,252
Got it.
441
00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:02,755
(groans)
442
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:07,094
Okay. Don't panic.
443
00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:09,262
We're gonna handle this
like adults.
444
00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:18,271
(grunting)
445
00:17:23,243 --> 00:17:25,545
Come on, go, go!
446
00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:28,148
Go!
447
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,625
Oh, my God.
448
00:17:38,658 --> 00:17:41,027
What's going on?
449
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,595
Remember when I said
it was a bad idea
450
00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:44,231
to take Ben off his meds?
451
00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:45,432
Look at these.
452
00:17:45,465 --> 00:17:46,766
I told you
this was gonna happen.
453
00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:48,268
His teacher is covered in blood
454
00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:49,536
and filled with arrows.
455
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,438
-Oh, no.
-What?
456
00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:53,440
-My crossbow.
-What crossbow?
457
00:17:53,473 --> 00:17:55,742
The one I got Chip.
Ben must have it.
458
00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:59,179
-Well, where is he?!
-School.
459
00:18:00,647 --> 00:18:02,782
What the hell, Crandall?
460
00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:04,317
Do you have any idea
461
00:18:04,351 --> 00:18:06,453
how hard we...
B-Ben worked on this?
462
00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:09,389
We have been the victims
of a heartless vandalism.
463
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:10,723
-Oh.
-Oh.
464
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:13,126
Whoever did this is
a stone-cold psychopath.
465
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:14,461
I am sick over it.
466
00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:17,230
You know, 'cause Ben,
he invented a cherry of an idea.
467
00:18:17,264 --> 00:18:18,731
You got to ask him.
468
00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:20,533
Well, I would love
to talk to Ben. Where is he?
469
00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:25,338
Oh, now there's
that little bugger.
470
00:18:29,176 --> 00:18:31,511
-Everybody, down!
-Shooter!
471
00:18:34,181 --> 00:18:35,782
He's gonna shoot Crandall
with a crossbow!
472
00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:38,084
(people gasp)
473
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,253
Get off me! No, I'm not.
474
00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:42,655
And I made her a vest.
475
00:18:42,689 --> 00:18:45,325
Uh... oh. Why?
476
00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:46,826
Because I love her.
477
00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:50,129
I invented it so she could stay
organized and clean.
478
00:18:50,163 --> 00:18:53,099
(ragged breathing)
479
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,801
MICKEY:
Oh, um...
480
00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:57,637
-Well... that was it.
-Vest is the answer.
481
00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:03,476
Look, we thought
Ben was gonna kill you.
482
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:05,612
And instead he was making you
some kind of vest?
483
00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:08,515
Because he loves you?
484
00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:11,117
I call it the Teacher's Pet.
485
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,852
Well, thank you, Ben.
486
00:19:12,885 --> 00:19:15,222
It was very thoughtful
and sweet.
487
00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:17,324
And he did it totally clean,
I might add.
488
00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:18,525
ALBA:
No, and...
489
00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:21,661
we did not take any drugs,
either, FYI.
490
00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:24,130
Well, I admit
this is a side of Ben
491
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,532
that I have not seen before.
492
00:19:25,565 --> 00:19:28,335
He was motivated and focused
493
00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:30,237
and he completed the assignment
all by himself.
494
00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:31,371
I'm impressed.
495
00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:33,873
So, you're saying I was right?
496
00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:35,141
I don't know about that.
497
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:36,809
But you are saying I won?
498
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:38,511
Parenting's not a competition.
499
00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:39,812
Ah, says the woman who lost.
500
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:41,348
-(Alba laughs)
-Come on, big guy.
501
00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:42,882
Let's go take a nap.
We earned it.
502
00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:44,884
Ugh.
503
00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:46,586
Wait a minute.
504
00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:50,590
If Ben's invention was ruined
in the attack,
505
00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:52,859
why did he make this vest?
506
00:19:54,794 --> 00:19:56,396
Okay, so first you're a doctor
507
00:19:56,429 --> 00:19:57,764
and then suddenly
you're a detective?
508
00:19:57,797 --> 00:19:59,832
(laughs)
Tone it down, lady.
509
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:01,868
Just be a teacher, okay?
510
00:20:01,901 --> 00:20:04,371
CHIP:
Okay, old business.
511
00:20:04,404 --> 00:20:06,573
Yesterday was completely insane.
512
00:20:06,606 --> 00:20:08,741
I can't believe
my parents bought
513
00:20:08,775 --> 00:20:10,743
that I skated
into a tree branch.
514
00:20:10,777 --> 00:20:13,280
Sit down!
515
00:20:16,449 --> 00:20:18,618
Acorn Boys betrayed me?
516
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:20,753
And don't tell me Feldstein
skated into a tree
517
00:20:20,787 --> 00:20:22,689
because I've been outside
listening for a while.
518
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,557
-We can explain.
-Don't bother.
519
00:20:27,794 --> 00:20:29,429
You stole my crossbow,
shot Feldstein,
520
00:20:29,462 --> 00:20:30,930
and lied to my face.
521
00:20:33,466 --> 00:20:35,668
The Acorn Boys are finished.
522
00:20:40,673 --> 00:20:43,276
'Cause you Acorn Men now.
523
00:20:43,310 --> 00:20:44,511
(can opening)
524
00:20:52,485 --> 00:20:55,788
And I am so damn proud
of you guys!
525
00:20:55,822 --> 00:20:57,424
-Hell, yeah.
-(whoops)
526
00:20:57,457 --> 00:20:59,592
-ACM for life.
-Thanks, Jimmy.
527
00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:01,594
-No.
-What?
528
00:21:01,628 --> 00:21:04,764
I said no.
529
00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:07,600
W-We've seen too much.
530
00:21:09,336 --> 00:21:11,671
It's time to move on.
531
00:21:15,708 --> 00:21:18,845
I officially declare this
the 684th
532
00:21:18,878 --> 00:21:21,481
and final meeting
of the Acorn Boys.
533
00:21:21,514 --> 00:21:23,683
President Chip, signing off.
534
00:21:45,505 --> 00:21:47,840
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
535
00:21:47,874 --> 00:21:49,409
BEN:
Toilet pants.
536
00:21:53,713 --> 00:21:55,682
Hope you
enjoyed
kickin' it
with The Mick.
537
00:21:55,715 --> 00:21:57,984
Now here are a few more shows
to check out from Fox.
538
00:22:01,688 --> 00:22:04,323
* Hey-ay-ay *
539
00:22:04,357 --> 00:22:07,193
* Hey-ay-ay *
540
00:22:07,226 --> 00:22:09,228
WOMAN:
This is our story.
541
00:22:09,261 --> 00:22:11,531
* Can't stop me now *
542
00:22:11,564 --> 00:22:13,633
* Can't stop me now *
543
00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:15,668
* I'm just doing what I do *
544
00:22:15,702 --> 00:22:17,169
* Won't stop doing what I do *
545
00:22:17,203 --> 00:22:18,705
* Can't stop me now *
546
00:22:18,738 --> 00:22:21,708
-* Can't stop me now *
-* Can't stop me now *
547
00:22:21,741 --> 00:22:24,010
-* Cannot beat me *
-* Can't stop me now *
548
00:22:24,043 --> 00:22:25,645
* I'm just doin' what I do *
549
00:22:25,678 --> 00:22:27,914
* Won't stop doin' what I do *
39951
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