All language subtitles for The.Mick.S02E04.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.x265.10bit.AAC.5.1-Qman[UTR]_track3_[eng]

She's coming in hot.
She's The Mick.

-Yaah!
-I just built that.

It didn't take.

Catch all-new episodes Tuesdays.

And check out our other Fox
programs-- Brooklyn Nine-Nine,

The Last Man on Earth and
Ghosted.

I don't really know how
to do any of this stuff.

Only on Fox.

*

Get out of my bed, fatso.

-(grunts) Oh! Oh...
-(gagging)

Oh, my God.
Oh, my, God, Mickey!

Mickey, help!

-(screams)
-(saw buzzing)

(shrieking)

-(laughs)
-Aah! What the hell's

wrong with you guys?!
You could've killed me!

(sighs) No, no, no. If we wanted
to kill you, you'd be dead.

What's with the Obama mask?

Oh, yeah, that was just
the only mask I could find.

Just a little Halloween fun.

-Oh, I frickin' hate Halloween.
-What?!

-Oh, what are you, a cop? It's
the best day of the year. -Oh...

Yeah, it makes Christmas
look like Hanukkah.

Of course you like it.
It's a holiday based entirely

-on free handouts.
-I'm not sure if you're aware,

but there is a war on fun
in this country.

First they take our nudity,

and then our profanity,
and then our violence.

-Who's they?
-Them! The enemy. You know?

The big dogs,
the... the fat cats.

-Mm, makes me sick.
-Course it makes you sick.

It makes everybody sick.
But not tonight, sir. No way.

Not Halloween. This is
the one night-- the one night--

where authority
means nothing, okay?

Yeah, I'm gonna
transform this place

into a brothel of sin.

-What? -Oh, yeah.
He's really good at it, too.

I think you're gonna
really like it. You should see

-what he does to his apartment
every Halloween. -Yeah.

-Finally, I have a playground
worthy of my talents. -Mmm.

Absolutely not. People already
think this house is haunted.

I refuse to participate.

Um... refusal denied.

Hey, I'm serious.
It's not happening!

Over my dead body!

Where you want this fog machine?

Oh, uh, pop it over by those

buckets of pigs' blood,
right there.

You're really allowing this?

Why wouldn't I?
This party's

the perfect way
to cement my legacy.

What legacy?

Chip, I'm probably
the coolest person

that ever went to Lockwood but,
thanks to our parents,

my reputation's
taken a slight hit.

I just need to make sure
that people remember me

for the right reasons.
And not just now,

but ten years,
20 years from now.

This party's gonna be a monument

to the legend
that is Sabrina Pemberton.

Healthy self-image.

Hey! Halloween, baby.

I got 40 pounds of raw goat meat
and cow intestines,

ooh, and a buttload
of chicken gizzards.

-Stick 'em right there, I'll
go through 'em later. -Okay.

Oh, I got to find
a Halloween costume.

Oh, Jimmy and I got you covered.
You know what we do? We got

this tradition where you got
to choose each other's Halloween

costume, and whatever gets
chosen, you got to go with it.

-You got to commit.
-Oh, okay, do me.

-Yeah, you want in on that?
-Yeah, yeah.

All right.

Fernando Valenzuela. Right?

-Who the hell is that?
-Who the hell are you?

-Wh... -He's only, like, one of
the best pitchers of all time.

-I've never heard of him.
-People will love it, trust me.

-My turn. -Randy Johnson.
-You guys making these names up?

Don't do pitcher
just 'cause I did pitcher.

No, I'm not.
You inspired me.

You know, I mean,
you got these...

long, floppy limbs
and this, like...

emaciated face.

Uh... No, like,
in a good way. No...

(quietly): I find Randy Johnson
very attractive.

All right, whatever.
Alba, do Jimmy.

Okay, uh...

Garbage.

-SABRINA: (chuckles) Nice.
-Garbage what?

Like the garbage man
to drive a truck?

No. No man. No truck.
Just garbage.

-Nice. Jimmy's garbage.
-Yeah. Okay.

Hey, what about me?
I want to play.

I don't know. You can't go
throwing one of your bitch fits

if you don't get sexy ladybug.

If I'm wearing it,
it's gonna be sexy.

Well, we'll see about that,
Steve Jobs.

-Oh. That's good.
-(Jimmy chuckles)

-Also a legend.
Makes perfect sense. -Mm.

I don't feel so good.
My butt keeps throwing up.

Oh, no! I can't get butt sick.
Uh... not for the party.

Jimmy, can you quarantine him?

Oh, yeah, on it.
I'm immune.

I can't remember the last time
my butt wasn't throwing up.

But what about Halloween?
I want to be a ghoul

and eat all the candy.

Well, the candy's
not going anywhere.

Once we plug up your pipes,
you can eat it

till your butt starts
throwing up all over again.

-Boom. -Right.
-Aw. Feel better, baby.

(doorbell rings)

Hey there, little guy.

Kind of early to be
trick-or-treating, isn't it?

Wait a second,
I remember this guy.

Didn't I smash you?

Oh! Yeah, that's right.
Man, I would think

that tasing a resident would
be grounds for dismissal.

-Suspension.
-Hmm.

Which, as of tonight,
has been lifted.

I'm back in the field,
where I belong.

Well, everybody loves a good
comeback story.

-Thanks for stopping by.
-Okay. -Not so fast.

I received
an anonymous complaint

about a party here, tonight.

Hmm.

What?

-I told you: no parties.
-Mm-hmm.

Thank you for your concern.
I appreciate it.

But we are not having a party.

All set. Eight kegs, four taps,
200 pounds of ice.

Sign here, please.

(pen scratching on paper)

I enjoy drinking.

I like the escape.

I'm warning you.

-Look, even if we were having
a party-- -Which we are not.

which we are not--
there would be nothing

you could do about it, because
you're weak and insignificant.

And you certainly
wouldn't be invited,

-'cause you would ruin the vibe.
-(scoffs)

See, that's where you're wrong.

It's Halloween tonight.

-The police are stretched thin.
-Mm-hmm?

So within the walls of this
gated community, I am the law.

-Mmm. -And if I hear
so much as one noise complaint,

-Uh-huh.
-by God, I will rain down...

Oh, Chip.

Now, why'd you go
and do something like that?

Very bad idea,
this thing you did.

I warned you guys.

We're not throwing a party.
It's a stupid holiday

for stupid people.
I won't be a part of it.

Why are you walking towards me?
Stop.

Stop! Stand down!
I command you.

Don't make me do something
I'll regret.

Are you insane? Let me out!
This is ridiculous.

Told you you'd be participating.
Happy Halloween.

-(chuckles)
-Release me! Release me now!

*

-CHIP: You gotta let me out,
man. -(cage rattling)

Help me!
Come on, let me out.

Let me out now!

-(cage rattling)
-I don't get his costume,

but cage boy
is really committed.

Just let me out of the cage now!

(shrieks): Come o...

I don't get it.

Randy Jackson
from American Idol?

Randy Johnson.

The Big Unit?
Seattle Mariners?

Dude, I'm just trying
to get a drink.

All right, well, sit tight, guy.
My homegirl's filling up

-her pumpkin.
-Yeah.

All right. (laughs)

-You good?
-Yeah!

-Wow, this party is awesome.
-Oh, yeah.

(laughs) Oh, did you know
that when you flush the toilets,

they fill back up with blood?

(chuckles)
Classic bloody bowl. Yeah.

Hot garbage, coming through.

-Oh. -Ooh!
-Yeah. I went method.

-Yeah. -I've already gone to the
bathroom twice in this thing.

Okay. Normally
that would gross me out,

-but I'm very excited
by this commitment. -Oh, yeah?

-Yeah. -Well, why don't you
get excited about this?

ALBA:
What is that?

-JIMMY: That is Ben.
-ALBA: Ugh.

-Rigged up a baby monitor.
-He looks awful.

Well, I slapped some
ghoulish makeup on him

-once he passed out. -How is he
sleeping through this?

Put, uh, some cold medication
in some candy--

sucked it right down.

Oh. Nice. Good thinking.
What else you got?

Uh, let's see.
I got a lot. Oh.

See that nerd over there
by what he thinks is a speaker?

-Mm-hmm. -Yeah.
-It's not. It's a blood cannon.

-(both giggling)
-Watch this. -Okay.

-See ya, nerd.
-ALBA: What's he doing?

-What? Okay, what's he doing?
-Damn it.

I got a glitch.

Excuse me, gentlemen.

-I got to go fix it.
-Aah!

-Oh.
-(laughs)

I don't remember
Jobs doing shorts.

Think different.

Don't know what that means.

So what do you think?

Is this a party worthy of
the legendary Sabrina Pemberton?

Yeah, but this is just
the opening act.

The main event's
right over there.

Damn, Peter's not a boy anymore.

-Mm.
-Actually, he is.

He's a freshman.

You're gonna nail a freshman?

Not just a freshman.

The freshman-- Matty Pruitt.

After I sink my teeth into him,

he'll be talking about me
for the next four years,

and that is how
you cement a legacy.

Your mind is
a frightening place.

(laughing):
Oh.

It looks like
someone's moving in.

-(Alba and Mickey laugh)
-All right.

That's not part of the plan.

-I like this. That pleases me.
-(laughing): Yes.

Damn it! There's supposed
to be a skeleton

tearing through here
on a zip line, a real one.

Where'd you get a real skeleton?

Oh, a vet clinic
down in Hartford.

It's actually a raccoon, but
it looks just like a little kid.

Jimmy, just let me out
of the cage.

Oh, but Mick would eat me alive
if I did that.

But I'll tell you what I can do.

I can give you this.

What is that?

Well, people will
respect you more

if they think you chose
to be in the cage.

I am not wearing
a monkey costume.

Hmm. Suit yourself.

I got to go fix
a broken breaker board.

This is a disaster.

ALBA:
Come on, bring it!

-(indistinct shouting)
-MICKEY: And the pitch.

-Oh! Not my boob! Aah!
-(people clamoring, groaning)

Lighten up. You're fine.
Put it back up on the head.

Hold still this time.

SECURITY GUARD:
Okay, party's over, everyone!

-Oh, no, no, no. -Every single
one of you, get out!

-Yeah, you heard me.
Let's go! -MICKEY: No, no. No.

Nobody go anywhere, all right?

This man is not to be respected.
He has no authority.

Yes, I am, and I do.

Come on, let's empty these cups!

-Okay.
-(gasps) -(woman laughing)

(gasps, pants)
That is not what I meant.

-No?
-And you know it!

-Oh.
-Don't push me!

Like that?

I don't like piglets like you.

You know, coming around,
snorting around,

ruining everybody's fun.

And on this...
this holiest of nights?

(in deep voice):
How dare you!

That's it!
I'm taking you in. Hey!

-Give that back to me!
-Come get it, pig.

Give it back. Give...
Hey, hey, hey! Give it!

Give it back. Give...
Hey, someone help me.

-Oh, yeah.
-Come on. I'm an offic...

-Boo, bitch!
-(people gasping)

-Alba!
-Oh, mischief, baby! (laughs)

If that were a real person, that
would be very inappropriate.

-Oh, come on.
-Well, now we got to...

-(grunts)
-We got to move him now?

All right, let's go. Man down.
Everybody out of the way.

-What the hell are you doing?
-Shut up, monkey.

-(groaning)
-Hey, back!

(groans, bars rattle)

Come on. Come on, load him up.

-Okay. There we go, yeah.
-There we go.

-Yeah.
-Okay.

-(panting)
-(whoop)

-And that, my friend...
-Ooh! (laughs)

-...is how you clean up a mess.
-(laughing): Yeah.

-(laughing): Yeah.
-WOMAN (over radio): Unit 37,

we've got a receptacle
fire over on Maple.

Need you to extinguish. Copy?

37? You mean there's 36 more
of these losers?

WOMAN (over radio):
Unit 37, please respond. Copy?

Well, if we don't respond,

they're gonna send someone
to look for him.

That's not good.

(in deep voice):
Uh, 10-4, Eleanor.

This is unit 37 on it.

Uh, copy-copy.
Roger-dodger. Over.

*

Hey, having fun?

Sabrina, hey!

-Awesome party.
-Mm-hmm.

Do people actually live here?

(laughing):
Oh, my God.

What a funny question.
You're so funny.

Oh, my God.
And this costume! So funny.

-Oh, thanks.
-It's, like, Tinker Bell

is such a crazy little psycho,
you know?

-It's perfect for you.
-How is Tinker Bell a psycho?

(laughing):
How is she not a psycho, right?

She's so obsessed with Peter
that she tries to kill herself.

-I don't think
she tries to kill herself. -Mm.

Yeah, she definitely does.

She realizes
that he's more into Wendy,

and then, you know,
she pounds a bunch of poison.

Honestly, what did she think was
gonna happen, right? I mean,

he's a boy, and you're a bug.

It's like, "Get out of here,
bug. Stop bugging everyone."

(laughs)

Do you want me to leave
or something?

Are you crazy? I want you
to stay and have fun, unless

you feel like you want to leave,
in which case,

-you should totally go.
-JIMMY: Pick up your foot,

-or you're gonna get
electrocuted. -Hey, watch it.

Jimmy, do you mind? I'm in
the middle of a conversation.

JIMMY:
Oh, I'm sorry,

you're in the middle
of a conversation,

because I got
a busted compression system

on my number four blood cannon.

That's okay.
I'm gonna go find Matty.

Uh...

See what you did!

Idiot!

* And it lurks inside
of us all *

Ridiculous.

-(electrical pop, buzzing)
-Aah!

* And it's hard to be
the one you want me to... *

(gasps)

Candy.

(siren wailing,
tires squealing)

(both laughing)

(siren stops)

Whoa! Okay.

-For a security car, this lady's
got some balls. -Yeah.

I'm gonna go stomp that out.

-Then we'll get back to the fun.
-Yeah, okay.

-(gasps, shrieks)
BOY: Yeah, man, get him.

Nice.

-(shrieking, groaning)
-Yeah, keep throwing.

Stop! (coughs)
Stop it!

(Mickey shrieks)
Oh!

You better run,
you little bastards!

I will murder you!

I will burn your houses while
your families sleep in them!

I will drink your blood!

Buckle up, Alba!

(tires screech)

You know,
just to play devil's advocate,

they were only having fun.

How about you stop
worrying about the devil

and advocate for my face?!

Okay. There's just
so many costumes.

How are we going to see them?

We just need to see someone
who doesn't want to see us.

Got him.

(tires screech)

(panting)

What's up now, piggy?

Out of your jurisdiction?
(laughs)

(engine revving)

(tires screech)

(panting)

Who the hell are you?

I'm Randy Johnson.

Who?

You've been going about this
all wrong.

Matty's only here
with Tinker Bell

because he thinks
that you're unattainable,

which makes sense.
You are.

Sabrina, come on. This guy's
awake, and it's getting weird.

I agree.

You just need to prove to him

that you're open
to being attained.

(chuckles)
That's good.

Can I at least get a drink?

*

(grunts)

Hey, Peter.

-Hey.
-Find your shadow yet?

I... uh, no, n-not yet.

It's actually, it's kind of hard
with all the lights in here.

-(laughs): Right.
-You know. Yeah.

Uh, I'm pretty sure
I saw it in my bedroom.

-Come on. I'll show you.
-Ah, oh, man...

Oh. Is Matty Pruitt shy?

No. No, it-it's not...
it's not that. Um...

Sabrina, you're...
you're really great.

I just, uh,
I came here with Gretchen.

Uh, Tinker Bell.
You know...

I just, I-I don't want
to disrespect her like that.

(laughs): Oh, whoa, Matty,
slow down, okay?

I'm not trying to hit on you.

You're not? You're...

You're a freshman, you know?
You're just...

you're just a little guy.

-You know?
-Okay.

Oh, don't be embarrassed--
it's just...

you're not... there yet.

Plus, I have a boyfriend.

He lives in the city,

and, um...

he's European.

So it's, like... a whole thing.

I should...
I should probably call him.

It's been... like, a wh...

Bye.

*

All right, so we got,
like, 20 eggs left, so...

what if we soaked them
in lighter fluid

and lit them on fire
so we could throw fire eggs...

Well, well, well.

(grunts)

Who the hell are you guys?

I'm Hernando Lalazoola.

It's Fernando Valenz...
Just forget about it.

-What the hell, Sean?
-What do you want from me?

-These dudes are nuts.
-Okay, fellas,

here's what I'm thinking.

I take you back home
to your parents,

charge you with assault,
probably just toss you in juvie,

-maybe throw you
in the big boy tank. -Oh, no.

Or...

you guys eat every single one
of these eggs and walk away.

Sounds like a good deal.

(chuckles):
Uh, but that's impossible.

Graduating from high school
is impossible!

Eating eggs...

is entirely possible.

Sir, I'm-I'm really sorry...

Open... your mouth.

(faint grunt)

Now bite.

Because I think I'd remember
if I signed for it.

Did you check his I.D.?

Oh, you just hand over
a 50-gallon drum of slime

to any Tom, Dick or Harry
with a pencil?!

Hang on a second.
Sabrina, did you sign

for my slime, or know who did?

-What?!
-Yeah, she doesn't know.

So let me tell you
how this is gonna work.

No. Because...
Sabrina, that's tech support!

I've got bigger problems, okay?

Matty Pruitt just rejected me!

And it's fine,
'cause I played it off

and told him I had
a Euro boyfriend.

But seriously, who the hell
does he think he is?

I mean, I'm way hotter
than that Tinker Bell slut.

Oh. He's with Tinker Bell.

Let me tell you something.

I'm the hottest girl
in school, okay?

I could screw all those girls'
boyfriends if I wanted to.

And when they go home
and they cry to their daddies,

I could kick the door down
and screw their daddies, too!

Okay, even if that is true,

I recommend we not do that.

*

I can do whatever
the hell I want, you fool.

(whispers):
I'm unstoppable.

JIMMY (on monitor):
Yah. Yah. I know it. I know.

Yah, because I did it myself.

Do not put me on hold!

(Jimmy groans in frustration)

(pants)
You guys, I was kidding.

-Honestly, I was kidding.
-BOY: Oh, great.

Oh, my God, it's Halloween--
lighten up.

Let's party, right?

Let's...

All right, so what?

Okay? It's not like
what I said wasn't true.

I am the hottest girl in school,
and you all know that.

It's genetics-- what are you
gonna do, be mad at my genes?

-(scattered laughter)
-Seriously?

Who did that? Huh?

Come on, man up--
who did that?

Oh, you don't know?
Who did it?!

Come on, we were just trying
to have some fun.

That wasn't fun, okay?

I know fun, all right?
I invented fun.

Come on, it's Halloween.

I also invented Halloween.

But you said if we ate the eggs,
you'd let us go.

-Well, you did say that.
-I know what I said.

I lied. It was a trick. That's
what Halloween's all about.

Right? Tricks and treats.

Not assaulting people
with unborn chickens.

Now, you sit here and reflect
on your poor choices, while me

and should-be Hall of Famer
Fernando Valenzuela

go tear the ass off this place.

(laughs): Oh, yeah,
you think that's funny?

I'll tell you what's funny--
how irrelevant

you all are!

You're just a bunch of maggots

I've been carrying
on my back for years!

But not anymore.

No, no, no, no, no.

Soon I'll be gone,
and you'll all be adrift

in a sea of mediocrity

just dreaming of sunnier days
when I was your queen

and you were just jesters
in my court!

-And you'll remember this day,
because your lives -Come on.

will never be the same--
but me,

me, I'm never gonna think
about it again.

I made you
and I can destroy you,

and you will never forget me!
You will remember me!

Aah...!

-(explosion)
-(shouts)

(high-pitched tone drones)

(muted, distorted voices)

JIMMY (muted):
Oh, man! oh, my God!

-(voice muted)
-(high-pitched tone continues)

(muted)

(high-pitched tone drones)

(muted)

(high-pitched tone drones)

Dude. She's a witch.

No, don't eat that, Benito.

But Mickey said
I could have as much as I want.

Yeah, I know, but this
is covered in pig's blood. No.

Oh, well, well.

Don't talk to me.

(mock crying):
"Don't talk to me."

Hey, lady! You're crazy.

You could've killed someone!

Hey, pipe down, security man.

The way I see it
you got two options.

You can either be the zero

who was locked in a cage
all night naked

with a 13-year-old boy,
or you could be the hero

who rounded up and captured
a bunch of vandals

who were terrorizing
the neighborhood.

They are sitting
in your car out front.

Fine. Give me the keys.

Can I have my clothes back?

No.

(groans):
Oh...

(chuckles) Oh, Mick,
I wish you could've seen it.

I don't think anyone's
ever gonna forget this night

-as long as they live.
-Oh, God. -Yeah. No kidding.

Why did you do it without me?

Well, next time's gonna be nuts.

I know a guy who works
at a morgue down in Providence.

Now, he said if nobody claims
a John Doe after 30 days,

they just toss it
in the furnace.

He said he could easily
set one aside for me.

-Oh! That's awesome!
-Oh-ho-ho-ho!

Oh, no, no, no, come on,
can't we just be done with this?

-(shrieks)
-Aah!

(laughter)

I frickin' hate Halloween!

(laughter continues)

-Jimmy!
-That was really good.

MICKEY:
I will drink your blood!

Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH

Hope you
enjoyed
kickin' it
with The Mick.

Now here are a few more shows
to check out from Fox.

* Hey-ay-ay *

* Hey-ay-ay *

WOMAN:
This is our story.

* Can't stop me now *

* Can't stop me now *

* I'm just doing what I do *

* Won't stop doing what I do *

* Can't stop me now *

-* Can't stop me now *
-* Can't stop me now *

-* Cannot beat me *
-* Can't stop me now *

* I'm just doin' what I do *

* Won't stop doin' what I do *