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1
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Hey. You cockroaches
wanna take up stamp collecting?
2
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Well, here's one to start with.
3
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,509
[GRUNTS THEN LAUGHS]
4
00:00:09,592 --> 00:00:10,635
[DOOR OPENS]
5
00:00:12,470 --> 00:00:14,097
Hey, who are you?
6
00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:15,223
I'm Mac Davis.
7
00:00:15,306 --> 00:00:17,559
Kermit asked me
to be his guest star tonight.
8
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Mac Davis. That's right.
9
00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:26,234
You're the famous singer-songwriter-
actor-country-western star.
10
00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:32,907
Ha, ha! And tap dancer. That's great.
11
00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:36,870
Well, it ain't great,
but it sure keeps the cockroaches away.
12
00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:40,665
It's The Muppet Show,
13
00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:43,626
with our very special guest star,
Mac Davis.
14
00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:46,379
[CHEERING]
15
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[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
16
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♪ It's time to play the music ♪
17
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,980
♪ It's time to light the lights ♪
18
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:07,984
♪ It's time to meet the Muppets
On The Muppet Show tonight ♪
19
00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:10,570
♪ It's time to put on makeup ♪
20
00:01:10,653 --> 00:01:12,739
♪ It's time to dress up right ♪
21
00:01:12,822 --> 00:01:16,493
♪ It's time to raise the curtain
On The Muppet Show tonight ♪
22
00:01:16,576 --> 00:01:18,912
♪ Why do we always come here? ♪
23
00:01:18,995 --> 00:01:21,206
♪ I guess we'll never know ♪
24
00:01:21,289 --> 00:01:23,375
♪ It's like a kind of torture ♪
25
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♪ To have to watch this show ♪
26
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♪ But now let's get things started ♪
27
00:01:33,677 --> 00:01:35,804
♪ Why don't you get things started? ♪
28
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♪ It's time to get things started
On the most sensational, inspirational ♪
29
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♪ Celebrational, Muppetational ♪
30
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♪ This is what we call ♪
31
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♪ The Muppet Show ♪
32
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[HONKS]
33
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[TURKEY GOBBLES & GONZO SCREAMS]
34
00:01:53,571 --> 00:01:54,614
[LAUGHS]
35
00:01:56,032 --> 00:01:59,244
Thank you, thank you,
and welcome again to The Muppet Show.
36
00:01:59,327 --> 00:02:02,622
It's going to be a great show tonight
because our special guest
37
00:02:02,706 --> 00:02:07,877
is that great recording star, composer
and singer Mr. Mac Davis.
38
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:13,550
Yes! But before we meet Mac,
here is another opening number!
39
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[BAND PLAYING UPBEAT BIG-BAND MUSIC]
40
00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:19,764
ALL:
♪ Another opening, another show ♪
41
00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:23,101
♪ In Philly, Boston or Baltimo' ♪
42
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♪ A chance for stagehands to say ♪
43
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Hello.
44
00:02:26,604 --> 00:02:29,482
ALL:
♪ Another opening of another show ♪
45
00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:32,861
♪ Another job that you hope at last ♪
46
00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:36,072
ALL:
♪ Will make your future forget your past ♪
47
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:39,451
♪ Another pain where the ulcers grow ♪
48
00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:42,871
♪ Another opening of another show ♪
49
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♪ Four weeks, you rehearse and rehearse ♪
50
00:02:46,249 --> 00:02:49,336
♪ Three weeks and it couldn't be worse ♪
51
00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:52,005
♪ Two weeks, will it ever be right? ♪
52
00:02:53,089 --> 00:02:55,508
[BEAKER SCREAMING]
53
00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:59,054
ALL:
♪ The overture is about to start ♪
54
00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:02,182
♪ You cross your fingers
And hold your heart ♪
55
00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:05,560
♪ It's curtain time, and away we go ♪
56
00:03:05,643 --> 00:03:07,479
♪ Another opening of ♪
57
00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:14,861
♪ Another opening of another show ♪
58
00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:25,080
[LAUGHS]
59
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:27,040
Well, that stopped them.
60
00:03:27,123 --> 00:03:29,167
♪ Another opening of-- ♪
61
00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:32,295
-Oh, will you get out of here?
-Get out of here!
62
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:36,216
Okay, nicely coped, gang.
I'm sorry about the mix-up.
63
00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:38,259
Oh, that was terrifying.
64
00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:42,555
Every time it went wrong,
I thought, "This is it. Curtains."
65
00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:45,934
Ha-ha-ha, yeah, and it was Beaker's fault.
66
00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:47,352
[BEAKER SPEAKS IN GIBBERISH]
67
00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:49,020
Wait, what is this thing, anyhow?
68
00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:54,442
Oh, this is new from Muppet Labs.
It's our snazzy new copying machine.
69
00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:57,987
And fortunately, my assistant, Beaker,
is eager to test it.
70
00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:01,116
-Aah!
-Well, sooner him than me.
71
00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:02,909
[BEAKER SHOUTING IN GIBBERISH]
72
00:04:02,992 --> 00:04:06,955
Oh, Beaker, a copying machine
is completely harmless.
73
00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:08,790
[WHIRRING]
74
00:04:08,873 --> 00:04:10,959
[BEAKER SCREAMING]
75
00:04:13,294 --> 00:04:17,382
Well, Mr. Beauregard,
it looks like you've seen the light.
76
00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:24,472
It is guest-star time, folks, so things
are definitely getting better out here.
77
00:04:24,556 --> 00:04:27,600
Here he is now,
one of the kings of country-western music,
78
00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:30,520
ladies and gentlemen,
the one and only Mr. Mac Davis!
79
00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:32,105
[CHEERS]
80
00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:34,274
[BAND PLAYING SOFT-ROCK MUSIC]
81
00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:52,792
♪ Girl, you're gettin' that look
In your eyes ♪
82
00:04:52,876 --> 00:04:58,590
♪ And it's starting to worry me ♪
83
00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:08,767
♪ 'Cause I ain't ready
For no family ties ♪
84
00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:14,773
♪ Nobody's gonna hurry me ♪
85
00:05:17,233 --> 00:05:20,111
-♪ So let's keep it friendly, girl ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Ooh ♪
86
00:05:20,195 --> 00:05:23,865
-♪ 'Cause I don't want to leave ♪
-♪ Ooh ♪
87
00:05:23,948 --> 00:05:27,327
-♪ Just don't start clinging to me, girl ♪
-♪ Ooh ♪
88
00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:30,538
-♪ 'Cause I can't breathe ♪
-♪ Ooh ♪
89
00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:35,752
-♪ Baby, baby, don't get hooked on me ♪
-♪ Ooh, hooked on me ♪
90
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:43,093
-♪ Baby, baby, don't get hooked on me ♪
-♪ Ooh, hooked on me ♪
91
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,053
-♪ 'Cause I'll just use you ♪
-♪ Ooh ♪
92
00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:49,849
-♪ Then I'll set you free ♪
-♪ Ooh ♪
93
00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:56,356
-♪ Baby, baby, don't get hooked on me ♪
-♪ Ooh, hooked on me ♪
94
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:57,941
Yoo-hoo, Mac.
95
00:05:58,024 --> 00:05:59,150
What, Miss Piggy?
96
00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:03,405
You know, Mackie,
I do think you're kind of cute.
97
00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:04,989
Aw, you really think so?
98
00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:09,619
Well, there's something about you.
All the curly hair, the physique...
99
00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:12,956
The flippers, right?
100
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:16,793
That's it. I'm really into flippers, Mac.
101
00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:19,838
You know, paint yourself green,
and you'd be my kind of guy.
102
00:06:19,921 --> 00:06:21,172
[GIGGLES]
103
00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:29,848
♪ Girl, you're a hot-blooded woman
It's true ♪
104
00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:34,686
♪ It's nice when you're touching moi ♪
105
00:06:34,769 --> 00:06:37,147
Aw, Miss Piggy.
106
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:44,988
♪ But I'm afraid I'd end up
Leaving you blue ♪
107
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:51,536
♪ It brings out so much in moi ♪
108
00:06:55,415 --> 00:07:00,712
♪ Girl, don't let your life
Get tangled up with mine ♪
109
00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:07,927
♪ If that's the way you feel, then, buster
Just get off this line ♪
110
00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:14,517
ALL:
♪ Baby, baby, don't get hooked on me ♪
111
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:20,565
♪ Piggy, Piggy, don't get hooked on me ♪
112
00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:27,280
BOTH: ♪ 'Cause I'll just use you
Then I'll set you free ♪
113
00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:32,994
ALL:
♪ Baby, baby, don't get hooked on me ♪
114
00:07:33,078 --> 00:07:36,539
♪ Ba, ba, ba-ba-ba, ba ♪
115
00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:48,968
Was that a topical song?
116
00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:50,804
No, topical fish.
117
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:53,139
[BOTH LAUGHING]
118
00:07:53,765 --> 00:07:56,559
Okay, great number. Nice number, Mac.
119
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:59,813
Ah, thanks, Kermit.
That's the secret to good songwriting.
120
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:00,939
What's that?
121
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:02,649
You gotta have a strong hook.
122
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:05,193
Ha-ha-ha. Yeah.
123
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:11,241
There go two great sets of flippers. Aah!
124
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,034
[SPEAKING IN GIBBERISH]
125
00:08:13,118 --> 00:08:17,247
Beaker, I told you
never to talk to me like that.
126
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,875
Because I can't understand it.
127
00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:23,044
[MUTTERING IN GIBBERISH]
128
00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:29,592
[SCREAMS]
129
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,761
[SPEAKING IN GIBBERISH]
130
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:38,768
[AIR WHOOSHING]
131
00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:40,311
[SCREAMING]
132
00:08:40,395 --> 00:08:42,856
Uh, Beauregard,
could you get this machine on-stage?
133
00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:44,149
"Muppet Labs" is next.
134
00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:46,609
"Muppet Labs," on-stage, please.
135
00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:49,988
-Come on, Beau, move it, move it.
-I'm trying.
136
00:08:55,994 --> 00:08:58,997
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew here at Muppet Labs,
137
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:02,167
where the future is being made today.
138
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:04,753
And what a sad day it is too,
139
00:09:04,836 --> 00:09:08,840
for Beaker, my fickle
and wayward assistant, has gone missing.
140
00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:10,592
[BEAKER SHOUTS IN MUFFLED VOICE]
141
00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:13,553
Hmm. So I guess I'll have to demonstrate
142
00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:17,682
Muppet Labs' new copying machine
à la carte.
143
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:20,685
[WHIRRING]
144
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,147
[GASPS]
145
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:26,316
Beaker, what were you doing in there?
146
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:29,736
If you've broken that machine,
I shall have to dock your salary.
147
00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:31,404
[BEAKER SHOUTING IN GIBBERISH]
148
00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:33,198
[HONEYDEW GASPS]
149
00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:37,077
Beaker! You're beside yourself!
150
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,287
Three, four, five...
151
00:09:39,371 --> 00:09:42,082
Oh... Oh... Aah!
152
00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:44,376
Well, I've only got one thing to say:
153
00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:45,835
Help!
154
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,295
[HONEYDEW SCREAMS]
155
00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:49,130
[ALL SHOUTING IN GIBBERISH]
156
00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:53,802
-Howdy, Mac.
-Well, howdy, Link.
157
00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:57,722
You got a few minutes for a fellow star?
158
00:09:57,806 --> 00:09:59,182
Sure, Link. Yeah--
159
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:01,726
[HONEYDEW SCREAMING
& BEAKERS SHOUTING IN GIBBERISH]
160
00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:02,936
Watch it, watch it.
161
00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:07,691
You're getting dust
on my expensive but tasteful outfit.
162
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,693
You know,
that is a mighty tasteful outfit.
163
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:10,819
I like it.
164
00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:13,446
Oh, well, thank you. I just threw it on.
165
00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:15,740
Actually, I'm good at that.
166
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:19,411
Yeah, you're not bad
at laying it on either.
167
00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:22,247
Why, thank you.
You know, I just wanted to tell you,
168
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:25,667
be sure and watch me
in the police sketch that's coming up.
169
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:27,711
Okay. You're pretty good, huh?
170
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:30,213
"Good" is not the word.
171
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,465
Yeah, I can believe that.
172
00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:34,801
"Terrific" is more the word.
173
00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:37,679
Well, you know something, Link?
174
00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:40,098
I've always thought
that you had a certain, uh...
175
00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:43,852
A certain je ne sais quoi.
176
00:10:43,935 --> 00:10:48,523
And I know exactly what it is:
animal magnetism.
177
00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:51,526
Yeah, you can say that again.
178
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:55,363
You know, I've got a song
that's just absolutely perfect for you.
179
00:10:55,447 --> 00:10:58,491
I'm gonna sing it for you.
Sing along if you'd like.
180
00:10:58,575 --> 00:11:04,080
♪ Oh, Lord, it's hard to be humble ♪
181
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:07,250
♪ When you're perfect in every way ♪
182
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:08,376
You too, huh?
183
00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:11,463
♪ I can't wait to look in the mirror ♪
184
00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:12,589
Yeah.
185
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:16,718
♪ 'Cause I get better-looking each day ♪
186
00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:19,929
♪ To know me is to love me ♪
187
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,056
HOGTHROB:
Mm.
188
00:11:21,139 --> 00:11:25,226
♪ Well, I must be a hell of a man ♪
189
00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:29,189
♪ Oh, Lord, it's hard to be humble ♪
190
00:11:29,272 --> 00:11:33,151
♪ But I'm doing the best that I can ♪
191
00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:35,153
I know exactly what you mean.
192
00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:36,946
-I bet you do.
-Mm-hm.
193
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:40,158
♪ I used to have a girlfriend ♪
194
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:44,454
♪ But I guess she just couldn't compete ♪
195
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:48,333
♪ With all of these love-starved women ♪
196
00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:52,754
♪ Who keep clamoring at my feet ♪
197
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:57,175
♪ Well, I probably could find me another ♪
198
00:11:57,258 --> 00:12:01,304
♪ But I guess they're all in awe of me ♪
199
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:05,308
♪ Who cares? I never get lonesome ♪
200
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:09,562
♪ 'Cause I treasure my own company ♪
201
00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:15,860
BOTH:
♪ Oh, Lord, it's hard to be humble ♪
202
00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:20,365
♪ When you're perfect in every way ♪
203
00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:24,327
♪ I can't wait to look in the mirror ♪
204
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:28,665
♪ 'Cause I get better-looking each day ♪
205
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:32,002
♪ To know him is to love him ♪
206
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,128
Oh.
207
00:12:33,211 --> 00:12:37,257
♪ Well, he must be a hell of a pig ♪
208
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:41,428
♪ Oh, Lord, it's hard to be humble ♪
209
00:12:41,511 --> 00:12:45,348
♪ When you're blessed with a talent
This big ♪
210
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:46,725
♪ Oh ♪
211
00:12:46,808 --> 00:12:48,101
Come on, everybody, join in.
212
00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:52,522
ALL:
♪ Oh, Lord, it's hard to be humble ♪
213
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:53,690
When you're perfect.
214
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:56,651
ALL:
♪ When you're perfect in every way ♪
215
00:12:56,735 --> 00:12:58,236
Can't wait to look in the mirror.
216
00:12:58,319 --> 00:13:00,989
MUPPETS:
♪ I can't wait to look in the mirror ♪
217
00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:02,240
MAC:
I get better-looking.
218
00:13:02,323 --> 00:13:05,368
ALL:
♪ 'Cause I get better-looking each day ♪
219
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:06,536
To know me is to what?
220
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:09,706
ALL:
♪ To know me is to love me ♪
221
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,041
I must be a hell of a man.
222
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:14,002
ALL:
♪ I must be a hell of a man ♪
223
00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:15,170
Oh, Lord, it's hard.
224
00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:18,465
ALL:
♪ Oh, Lord, it's hard to be humble ♪
225
00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:19,591
What are we doing?
226
00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:22,510
ALL:
♪ We're doing the best that we can ♪
227
00:13:22,594 --> 00:13:24,346
One more time. I didn't hear you.
228
00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:31,186
ALL:
♪ We're doing the best that we can ♪
229
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:33,313
All right.
230
00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:35,482
[ALL CHATTERING]
231
00:13:42,864 --> 00:13:46,284
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
I would like to play at this time
232
00:13:46,368 --> 00:13:52,582
"Liebster Jesu, Mein Verlangen"
by Johann Sebastian Batch.
233
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:55,293
Uh, that's "Bach."
234
00:13:55,377 --> 00:13:57,087
Woof, woof.
235
00:13:59,381 --> 00:14:01,466
[PLAYING JOYFUL BAROQUE MUSIC]
236
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,440
[CLANKING NEARBY]
237
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:26,116
[CLANKING CONTINUES]
238
00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:36,334
Beau.
239
00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:45,218
Beauregard, what are you doing?
240
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:48,179
Oh, I promised Kermit I would clean.
241
00:14:48,263 --> 00:14:50,181
You can't clean out here.
242
00:14:50,265 --> 00:14:53,101
Well, I'll clean back there, then.
243
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,292
-Beau.
-I'm only dusting.
244
00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:18,543
[COUGHS]
245
00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:20,670
-Get out of here!
-Aah!
246
00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:31,556
I'm only feather-dusting.
247
00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:33,725
[PIANO STRINGS TINKLING]
248
00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:37,395
Oh, no!
249
00:15:37,479 --> 00:15:40,982
Oh, no! I'm going to Oxford!
250
00:15:43,735 --> 00:15:46,154
[BAND PLAYING UPBEAT FOLK MUSIC]
251
00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:48,323
[SINGING IN GIBBERISH]
252
00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:55,747
♪ Bork, bork, bork ♪
253
00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:59,542
[SPEAKING IN GIBBERISH]
254
00:16:04,047 --> 00:16:05,173
[GASPS]
255
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:09,678
Oh, please, Mr. Chef, sir,
I'm hiding in here.
256
00:16:09,761 --> 00:16:12,555
My assistant, Beaker, is ganging up on me.
257
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:14,474
-Oh!
-Oh! Oop. Ahem.
258
00:16:14,557 --> 00:16:16,643
[SPEAKING IN GIBBERISH]
259
00:16:17,769 --> 00:16:19,854
[SPEAKING IN GIBBERISH]
260
00:16:30,281 --> 00:16:31,366
[GASPS]
261
00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:33,284
Oh. Oh, bork.
262
00:16:33,368 --> 00:16:35,453
[BEAKER SHOUTING IN GIBBERISH]
263
00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:37,622
[CHEF SHOUTING IN GIBBERISH]
264
00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:43,837
♪ Poor boy don't need electronics
To make no rock 'n' roll ♪
265
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:47,465
♪ Poor boy got boogie-woogie
Born right in his soul ♪
266
00:16:47,549 --> 00:16:48,591
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
267
00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:50,343
Come in.
268
00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:52,512
[BEAKERS CHATTERING IN GIBBERISH]
269
00:16:55,557 --> 00:16:58,685
Oh, great. You must be
the background singers I sent for.
270
00:16:58,768 --> 00:17:00,645
Sure hope you're all in good voice today.
271
00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:02,814
[BEAKERS CHATTERING IN GIBBERISH]
272
00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:07,152
Wait, wait, wait. Hold it, hold it.
273
00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:10,280
Instead of singing along,
why don't you just eef along?
274
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:11,990
I'll show you what I'm talking about.
275
00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:15,952
♪ Poor boy got rhythm
Poor boy got blues ♪
276
00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:19,039
♪ Poor boy got boogie-woogie
Born right in his shoes ♪
277
00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:20,165
Now watch this.
278
00:17:20,248 --> 00:17:22,334
[BEATBOXING AND YELPING]
279
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:29,007
[POPPING]
280
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,552
Now you do it.
281
00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:35,388
[BEAKERS MOAN]
282
00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:41,186
Oh, well. At least I don't have to listen
to them sing anymore.
283
00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:44,022
NARRATOR:
And now...
284
00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:49,861
ridding the world of evil,
here comes Bear on Patrol.
285
00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:54,908
All right, you, come on. Come on. Go.
286
00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:58,620
Sir, I just booked this person on an 803.
287
00:17:58,703 --> 00:18:00,997
Oh! He could get 20 years for that.
288
00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:03,166
-Yes, sir.
-What's an 803?
289
00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:07,337
Sir, it's making funny noises in public.
290
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:08,755
[SPEAKS IN GIBBERISH]
291
00:18:09,798 --> 00:18:13,593
Make that 25 years.
Did you read him his rights?
292
00:18:13,677 --> 00:18:15,053
No, not yet, sir.
293
00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:18,390
Okay. Listen.
You have the right to remain silent.
294
00:18:18,473 --> 00:18:20,141
[SPEAKS IN GIBBERISH]
295
00:18:20,225 --> 00:18:22,435
Sir, I don't think he understands.
296
00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:26,981
Uh, let me handle it.
You have the right to remain stupid.
297
00:18:27,065 --> 00:18:28,274
[FOZZIE LAUGHS]
298
00:18:28,358 --> 00:18:29,693
Lock him up, Patrol Bear.
299
00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:32,612
FOZZIE: Yes, sir. All right.
You move into that jail cell, you.
300
00:18:32,696 --> 00:18:35,198
That's it. Get in there. All right.
301
00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:36,533
[MUTTERING IN GIBBERISH]
302
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:40,203
Huh? Patrol Bear,
I told you to lock him up.
303
00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:42,247
But, sir, I did.
304
00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:43,373
Yeah, but...
305
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:46,084
Oh, wait, wait, look. The briefcase.
306
00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:48,211
It must be his lawyer.
307
00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:49,879
[SPEAKING IN GIBBERISH]
308
00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:51,923
-What's he saying?
-I don't know.
309
00:18:52,007 --> 00:18:54,718
Who understands lawyer talk?
310
00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:57,721
-Lock him up, Patrol Bear.
-Yes, sir. Get in there, you.
311
00:18:57,804 --> 00:19:00,098
All right, both of you, just stay there.
312
00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:02,267
[BOTH SPEAKING IN GIBBERISH]
313
00:19:03,727 --> 00:19:05,645
Patrol Bear, they've escaped!
314
00:19:05,729 --> 00:19:08,440
No, but they haven't.
Look. They're in there.
315
00:19:08,523 --> 00:19:10,025
[HOGTHROB STAMMERS]
316
00:19:10,108 --> 00:19:14,029
It must be mirrors. I'd like a head count.
Now bring those two out of there.
317
00:19:14,112 --> 00:19:16,781
Yes, sir. You two, get out.
Let's get a head count.
318
00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:18,658
Come on. Move it. Everybody line up.
319
00:19:18,742 --> 00:19:21,453
Come on, line up.
This is serious business.
320
00:19:21,536 --> 00:19:25,582
All right, one, two, three, four...
321
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:30,253
Five, six, seven, eight?
322
00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:31,713
Uh...
323
00:19:31,796 --> 00:19:36,092
-We'd better run for it, Patrol Bear!
-Yes! Aah!
324
00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:38,011
[ALL CHATTERING IN GIBBERISH]
325
00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:43,683
-Well, we're safe here.
-That was quick thinking.
326
00:19:43,767 --> 00:19:46,478
Well, that's why I'm sergeant.
327
00:19:46,561 --> 00:19:48,646
[FOZZIE & HOGTHROB YELLING]
328
00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:10,335
-Uh, excuse me.
-Whoo!
329
00:20:10,418 --> 00:20:13,421
The mustache-twirling contest
has been canceled this week.
330
00:20:13,505 --> 00:20:16,925
Shh. I am not what I appear to be,
Mr. Kermit.
331
00:20:17,008 --> 00:20:21,638
It is really I, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew,
and I'm hiding from my assistant Beakers.
332
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:25,058
Well, why are all of him mad at you?
333
00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:26,184
I don't know.
334
00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:28,978
I've always been a regular sweetie
to each of him.
335
00:20:29,062 --> 00:20:32,941
Hmm. Well, the secret of your identity
is safe with me.
336
00:20:33,024 --> 00:20:35,402
[BEAKERS SHOUTING IN GIBBERISH]
337
00:20:35,485 --> 00:20:38,988
I think I'd better, uh,
introduce Mac Davis. Uh...
338
00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:41,282
Excuse me.
339
00:20:45,036 --> 00:20:46,830
Ladies and gentlemen, once again,
340
00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:49,332
our very special guest star,
Mr. Mac Davis!
341
00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:51,292
[CHEERS]
342
00:20:51,376 --> 00:20:53,461
[BAND PLAYING UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC]
343
00:21:01,845 --> 00:21:04,180
Thank you, thank you.
344
00:21:05,223 --> 00:21:08,685
You know, I've had a wonderful time
doing The Muppet Show tonight.
345
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:12,230
But there's a part of the show
that never seems to get enough attention,
346
00:21:12,313 --> 00:21:13,606
as far as I'm concerned.
347
00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:15,191
I'm gonna take care of that now.
348
00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:18,319
I want a big round of applause
for the band.
349
00:21:18,403 --> 00:21:22,115
-Yay!
ANIMAL: Ah-ha-ha.
350
00:21:22,198 --> 00:21:24,576
It's nice of you to notice, Mac.
351
00:21:24,659 --> 00:21:26,786
Nice Mac! Nice Mac!
352
00:21:26,870 --> 00:21:28,830
Yeah, that's mighty big of you.
353
00:21:28,913 --> 00:21:32,334
Big Mac! Big Mac!
354
00:21:32,417 --> 00:21:34,502
[ANIMAL LAUGHING]
355
00:21:36,963 --> 00:21:40,300
Would you guys join in with me
on a song I wrote a long time ago?
356
00:21:40,383 --> 00:21:41,634
I sure would appreciate it.
357
00:21:42,302 --> 00:21:44,804
Oh, it'd be our pleasure, Mac.
358
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,224
You lay it down, we'll pick it up.
359
00:21:48,308 --> 00:21:53,063
♪ I could just sit around making music
All day long ♪
360
00:21:54,105 --> 00:22:00,278
♪ As long as I'm making music
I know I can't do nobody wrong ♪
361
00:22:00,362 --> 00:22:05,825
♪ And who knows?
Maybe someday I'll come up with a song ♪
362
00:22:05,909 --> 00:22:08,995
♪ That makes people wanna stop
Their fussin' and fightin' ♪
363
00:22:09,079 --> 00:22:12,457
♪ Just long enough to sing along ♪
364
00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:18,588
♪ I believe in music ♪
365
00:22:18,672 --> 00:22:23,301
♪ I believe in love ♪
366
00:22:23,385 --> 00:22:24,803
Help me out, now.
367
00:22:24,886 --> 00:22:29,808
ALL:
♪ I believe in music ♪
368
00:22:29,891 --> 00:22:36,231
♪ You know that
I, oh, I believe in love ♪
369
00:22:36,314 --> 00:22:41,695
♪ Well, music is love, and love is music
If you know what I mean ♪
370
00:22:42,779 --> 00:22:48,410
♪ And people who believe in music
Are the happiest people I've ever seen ♪
371
00:22:48,493 --> 00:22:51,746
♪ So clap your hands
Stomp your feet ♪
372
00:22:51,830 --> 00:22:54,708
♪ Shake your tambourine ♪
373
00:22:54,791 --> 00:22:57,544
♪ And lift your voices to the sky ♪
374
00:22:57,627 --> 00:23:00,005
♪ God loves you when you sing ♪
375
00:23:00,088 --> 00:23:01,131
Let me hear you.
376
00:23:01,214 --> 00:23:05,802
ALL:
♪ I believe in music ♪
377
00:23:05,885 --> 00:23:11,474
♪ God knows that
I, oh, I believe in love ♪
378
00:23:11,558 --> 00:23:13,143
♪ Don't it make you feel good? ♪
379
00:23:13,226 --> 00:23:17,731
ALL:
♪ I believe in music ♪
380
00:23:17,814 --> 00:23:24,362
♪ Don't it show that
I, oh, I believe in love? ♪
381
00:23:24,446 --> 00:23:30,744
♪ Well, music is the universal language
And love is the key ♪
382
00:23:30,827 --> 00:23:33,788
♪ To brotherhood and peace
And understanding ♪
383
00:23:33,872 --> 00:23:36,291
♪ And living in harmony ♪
384
00:23:36,374 --> 00:23:42,672
♪ So take your brother by the hand
And sing along with me ♪
385
00:23:42,756 --> 00:23:48,011
♪ And find out what it really means
To feel young and rich and free ♪
386
00:23:48,094 --> 00:23:49,137
Let me hear you.
387
00:23:49,220 --> 00:23:53,641
MAC & BAND:
♪ I believe in music ♪
388
00:23:53,725 --> 00:23:59,314
♪ God knows that
I, oh, I believe in love ♪
389
00:23:59,397 --> 00:24:01,066
♪ Don't it make you feel good? ♪
390
00:24:01,149 --> 00:24:05,445
ALL:
♪ I believe in music ♪
391
00:24:05,528 --> 00:24:11,117
♪ Don't it show that
I, oh, I believe in love? ♪
392
00:24:11,201 --> 00:24:12,911
Once more time now, everybody.
393
00:24:12,994 --> 00:24:17,457
ALL:
♪ I believe in music ♪
394
00:24:17,540 --> 00:24:23,296
♪ Don't it show that
I, oh, I believe in love? ♪
395
00:24:23,380 --> 00:24:24,881
♪ Come on, everybody ♪
396
00:24:24,964 --> 00:24:29,678
ALL:
♪ I believe in music ♪
397
00:24:29,761 --> 00:24:35,517
♪ God knows that
I, oh, I believe ♪
398
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:38,645
What do we believe in, audience?
Let me hear you real loud.
399
00:24:38,728 --> 00:24:40,522
ALL:
Love!
400
00:24:40,605 --> 00:24:42,273
[BEAKERS CHATTERING IN GIBBERISH]
401
00:24:42,357 --> 00:24:43,983
I believe in you.
402
00:24:44,067 --> 00:24:46,736
And I believe in you too.
403
00:24:46,820 --> 00:24:48,905
[CHATTERING CONTINUES]
404
00:25:03,586 --> 00:25:08,591
Well, that's just about the end of another
magical Muppet medley of mirth and misery.
405
00:25:08,675 --> 00:25:10,427
But before we go, let us say thank you
406
00:25:10,510 --> 00:25:12,762
to a very special guest star,
ladies and gentlemen--
407
00:25:12,846 --> 00:25:14,305
[BEAKERS CHATTERING IN GIBBERISH]
408
00:25:14,389 --> 00:25:16,266
Wait, where's Mac Davis? Mac Davis?
409
00:25:16,349 --> 00:25:18,435
Here I am, Kermit. Here I am.
410
00:25:18,518 --> 00:25:20,603
[CHEERS]
411
00:25:23,398 --> 00:25:26,526
I want you to know
it's been a real pleasure doing your show.
412
00:25:26,609 --> 00:25:28,028
I really have enjoyed it.
413
00:25:28,111 --> 00:25:29,821
Oh, good. But, uh, who is this?
414
00:25:29,904 --> 00:25:33,742
Oh, this guy I caught in my dressing room.
I thought he looked suspicious.
415
00:25:33,825 --> 00:25:37,245
KERMIT: Why?
-Well, he's wearing a disguise, see?
416
00:25:37,328 --> 00:25:40,123
Bunsen! What are you doing, Bunsen?
417
00:25:40,206 --> 00:25:42,417
We'll see you next time
on The Muppet Show.
418
00:25:42,500 --> 00:25:43,835
What's going on?
419
00:25:43,918 --> 00:25:46,004
[ALL CHATTERING]
420
00:25:48,631 --> 00:25:50,717
[BEAKERS PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
421
00:26:20,121 --> 00:26:22,290
[SPEAKING IN GIBBERISH]
422
00:26:22,374 --> 00:26:24,459
[SPEAKING IN GIBBERISH]
32019
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