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1
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[KNOCKING]
2
00:00:02,460 --> 00:00:06,548
Oh, Diana. Diana Ross.
Fifteen seconds to curtain, Diana.
3
00:00:06,631 --> 00:00:08,508
Thank you, Scooter. Thank you.
4
00:00:08,591 --> 00:00:11,678
Scooter, by the way, who put this thing
in my dressing room?
5
00:00:11,761 --> 00:00:16,975
Oh, I did. Because Kermit told me
wherever you go, you have a big fan club.
6
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:21,813
Mother said there'd be shows like this.
7
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It's The Muppet Show, with our
very special guest star, Diana Ross!
8
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[CHEERING]
9
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[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
10
00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:47,756
♪ It's time to play the music ♪
11
00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:49,924
♪ It's time to light the lights ♪
12
00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:51,843
♪ It's time to get things started ♪
13
00:00:51,926 --> 00:00:54,095
♪ Why don't you get things started? ♪
14
00:00:56,681 --> 00:00:58,558
[RATTLING]
15
00:00:58,641 --> 00:01:02,979
♪ It's time to get things started
On the most sensational, inspirational ♪
16
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:05,690
♪ Celebrational, Muppetational ♪
17
00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:08,109
♪ This what we call ♪
18
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♪ The Muppet Show ♪
19
00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:14,741
[SNAKE RATTLING]
20
00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:20,830
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
21
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:24,918
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Hi-ho,
and welcome again to The Muppet Show,
22
00:01:25,001 --> 00:01:28,380
and our special guest star tonight
is Miss Diana Ross.
23
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[CROWD GASPS]
24
00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:32,842
Yes. This is going to be a fantastic show.
25
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It better be.
Because tonight, we're keeping score.
26
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Yes, and on a scale of one to 10,
here's your score so far.
27
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Two?
28
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Come on, forget about keeping score.
29
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You're gonna love this opening number.
Let's go to Rio! Yeah!
30
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[PLAYING UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC]
31
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♪ When my baby
When my baby smiles at me, I go to Rio ♪
32
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♪ De Janeiro ♪
33
00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:05,083
♪ Me-oh-my-oh ♪
34
00:02:05,166 --> 00:02:09,504
♪ I go wild and then
I have to do the Samba ♪
35
00:02:09,587 --> 00:02:11,756
♪ And La Bamba ♪
36
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:13,925
♪ Now I'm not the kind of person ♪
37
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♪ With the passion of persuasion
For dancin' ♪
38
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♪ Or romancin' ♪
39
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♪ But I give in to the rhythm ♪
40
00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:28,148
♪ And my feet follow the beating
Of my heart ♪
41
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♪ Whoa-oh-oh-oh, when my baby ♪
42
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♪ When my baby smiles at me, I go to Rio ♪
43
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♪ De Janeiro ♪
44
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♪ I'm a Salsa fellow ♪
45
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:45,582
♪ When my baby smiles at me
The sunlight lightens up my life ♪
46
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♪ And I am free at last, what a blast ♪
47
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[SHOUTING AND CHEERING]
48
00:03:16,237 --> 00:03:19,657
♪ Whoa-oh-oh-oh, when my baby ♪
49
00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:23,828
♪ When my baby smiles at me, I go to Rio ♪
50
00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:25,789
♪ De Janeiro ♪
51
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:28,166
♪ I'm a Salsa fellow ♪
52
00:03:28,249 --> 00:03:33,838
♪ When my baby smiles at me
The sunlight lightens up my life ♪
53
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♪ And I am free at last ♪
54
00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:45,767
♪ Rio ♪
55
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[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
56
00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:55,151
Okay, wasn't that terrific?
57
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:59,155
Well, on a scale of one to 10,
we give it a, uh, three.
58
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[AUDIENCE JEERING]
59
00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:01,574
What?
60
00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:06,371
Well, maybe it wasn't that good.
Let's give it a one.
61
00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:08,665
[JEERING]
62
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,337
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
63
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:19,592
Can you believe that?
64
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:21,344
It's rough out there.
65
00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:24,097
It's a very strange audience.
I'm sorry about that.
66
00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:26,975
We had to go through a lot of work
for that number.
67
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Yeah. I even bought a tuxedo.
68
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That's a tuxedo?
69
00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:34,065
Yeah. I'm really a flamingo.
70
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-Hey, Kermit. Kermit, listen.
-Yeah?
71
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-I know what that audience wants.
-Yeah? What?
72
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:42,407
Comedy.
73
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Watch the master.
74
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Hiya, hiya, hiya.
75
00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:52,500
[AUDIENCE BOOING AND JEERING]
76
00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:54,586
Bye-ah, bye-ah, bye-ah.
77
00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:58,048
You gave him a one?
78
00:04:58,131 --> 00:04:59,799
He's never been better.
79
00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:03,970
Can you guys quiet down?
80
00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:05,847
Because right now, ladies and gentlemen,
81
00:05:05,930 --> 00:05:07,974
it's time for
one of my favorite singing stars,
82
00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:11,353
and the world seems to agree with me,
ladies and gentlemen, Miss Diana Ross!
83
00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:12,687
Yay!
84
00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:14,856
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
85
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,239
[BAND PLAYING "LOVE HANGOVER"]
86
00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:39,339
♪ If there's a cure for this
I don't want it ♪
87
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♪ Don't want it ♪
88
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:46,346
♪ If there's a remedy
I'll run from it ♪
89
00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:47,889
♪ From it ♪
90
00:05:47,972 --> 00:05:51,434
♪ I think about it all the time ♪
91
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:53,937
♪ Never let it out of my mind ♪
92
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:59,359
♪ 'Cause I love you ♪
93
00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:04,823
♪ I've got the sweetest hangover ♪
94
00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:07,992
♪ I don't wanna get over ♪
95
00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:12,622
♪ Sweetest hangover ♪
96
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:18,712
♪ Yeah, I don't wanna get over ♪
97
00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:22,841
♪ I don't wanna get ♪
98
00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:29,431
♪ I don't wanna get over ♪
99
00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:44,904
♪ Ooh, I don't want a cure ♪
100
00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:46,948
♪ I don't want no cure ♪
101
00:06:47,032 --> 00:06:48,950
♪ I don't want a cure ♪
102
00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:50,910
♪ Sweet love hangover ♪
103
00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:55,498
♪ Sweet, sweet love
Sweet, sweet love hangover ♪
104
00:06:58,293 --> 00:07:03,089
♪ Sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet love ♪
105
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:10,597
♪ Sweet love, I love you ♪
106
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:14,309
♪ Mean love, bad love ♪
107
00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:15,769
♪ Hangover ♪
108
00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:17,854
♪ I don't want no cure ♪
109
00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:19,898
♪ I don't need no cure ♪
110
00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:21,816
♪ I don't want no cure ♪
111
00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:24,569
♪ If there's a cure for this ♪
112
00:07:24,652 --> 00:07:28,656
♪ I don't want it, I don't want it
No, no, no ♪
113
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:34,913
♪ If there's a cure for this ♪
114
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♪ I don't want it ♪
115
00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:43,380
♪ I don't want it, no, no ♪
116
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:47,342
♪ I don't want it
If there's a cure for this ♪
117
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:50,220
♪ I don't want it, don't need it ♪
118
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♪ Sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet love ♪
119
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[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
120
00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:12,826
[BOTH CHEERING]
121
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:17,288
Oh, wow. Wasn't that great?
122
00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:18,957
Keep it up, frog.
123
00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:21,126
We're not doing so bad after all?
124
00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:23,086
I wouldn't say that.
125
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:27,173
Right now the score is, Diana Ross, 10.
Muppets, three.
126
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:32,846
-Great.
-Oh, boy. Diana, Diana.
127
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:34,180
You were terrific.
128
00:08:34,264 --> 00:08:35,432
Oh, thank you, Fozz.
129
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,684
What a terrific audience
that is out there.
130
00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:40,270
And I wanna thank you
for warming them up for me.
131
00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:46,526
They're so terrific, they're the best.
When they love you, they don't hold back.
132
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:50,864
When they hate you,
they don't hold back either.
133
00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:53,992
Uh, Gills Brothers, you're on next.
134
00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:55,702
Good luck, boys.
135
00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:57,162
Break a fin.
136
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:03,543
Okay, and now, ladies and gentlemen,
we present the fabulous Gills Brothers!
137
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:04,878
Yeah!
138
00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:13,053
♪ Go tell Aunt Chovy ♪
139
00:09:13,136 --> 00:09:16,931
♪ Go tell Aunt Chovy ♪
140
00:09:17,015 --> 00:09:20,185
♪ Outside the goby ♪
141
00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:23,480
♪ The old sardine is dead ♪
142
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,648
[BOOING AND JEERING]
143
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:30,653
♪ Out with a sturgeon ♪
144
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:34,449
♪ Saw her submerging there ♪
145
00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:37,744
♪ Singing her dirge in ♪
146
00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:40,121
♪ The Blue Point Oyster Bar ♪
147
00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:41,748
[BOOING CONTINUES]
148
00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:46,044
♪ Go tell Aunt Chovy ♪
149
00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:49,923
♪ Go tell Aunt Chovy ♪
150
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:53,051
♪ Outside the goby ♪
151
00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:56,930
♪ The old sardine ♪
152
00:09:57,013 --> 00:10:04,312
♪ Is dead ♪
153
00:10:04,396 --> 00:10:06,815
[AUDIENCE BOOING AND JEERING]
154
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:13,238
Oh. I can't watch.
155
00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:14,614
[GROANS]
156
00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:17,992
How's it going?
157
00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:20,161
Oh, it's not going good, Scooter.
158
00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:21,705
Oh, I'll say.
159
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:27,085
Pretty rough out there, huh?
160
00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:29,671
Oh, they were laying for us.
161
00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:31,214
Why do you say that?
162
00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:34,134
One guy brought a bottle of tartar sauce.
163
00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:38,763
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
164
00:10:38,847 --> 00:10:41,099
-Yeah?
-Uh, excuse me, Diana.
165
00:10:41,182 --> 00:10:42,559
-Yes?
-Uh, you got a second?
166
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:46,146
Yes, Kermit, of course.
Kermit, first I wanna tell you.
167
00:10:46,229 --> 00:10:49,733
That audience is so great out there.
I really do love doing this show.
168
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:51,776
-It's the best.
-Uh, yeah.
169
00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:55,155
Yeah. Well, they certainly love you a lot.
It's just, uh...
170
00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:57,449
Well, it's just us that they hate.
171
00:10:57,532 --> 00:11:00,660
Oh, no, Kermit.
Kermit, you have to win them over.
172
00:11:00,744 --> 00:11:04,164
Maybe you have to, um,
send in one of your surefire acts,
173
00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:05,832
like Vet's Hospital. That'll work.
174
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:07,083
-Vet's Hospital?
-Yeah.
175
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,877
That's a good idea. Vet's Hospital.
176
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:12,172
That's where Dr. Bob and Nurse Piggy
and Nurse Janice run out there
177
00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:14,549
and they tell those awful, awful jokes.
178
00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:17,552
And then they laugh a lot and boo and...
179
00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:22,307
Well, what about, um, Swedish Chef?
180
00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:24,392
-Swedish Chef. Yes! Swedish Chef!
-Yes.
181
00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:26,603
A hilarious cooking lesson. Yes!
182
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:32,067
With somebody that you can't understand
making this food that you can't eat...
183
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:33,401
-Let's see.
-Yeah.
184
00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:35,070
Hmm, not so good, huh?
185
00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:37,739
Well, let's see. Uh...
186
00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:38,865
What else you got?
187
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:41,201
Um, Pigs in Space?
188
00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:42,744
-Pigs in Space.
-Yeah?
189
00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:45,997
-Pigs in Space. I love Pigs in Space.
-You love Pigs in Space?
190
00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:48,667
Oh, good. That's it!
We'll do Pigs in Space! Yeah!
191
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:51,503
Pigs in Space? I hate Pigs in Space.
192
00:11:51,586 --> 00:11:53,963
What am I doing on this crummy show?
193
00:11:57,467 --> 00:12:02,722
NARRATOR [ECHOING]:
And now, Pigs in Space!
194
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:10,021
When last we left the Swinetrek,
that scientific genius, Dr. Strangepork,
195
00:12:10,105 --> 00:12:13,441
was trying to fix
Captain Hogthrob's lighter.
196
00:12:13,525 --> 00:12:17,654
Careful, that's a solid gold,
disposable lighter.
197
00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:22,075
Don't worry.
I'm an expert at these kind of things.
198
00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:25,453
Hmm. Maybe First Mate Piggy could help.
199
00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:29,249
Uh, Captain Hogthrob?
Captain Hogthrob, I--
200
00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:30,625
[AIR HISSING]
201
00:12:32,335 --> 00:12:35,422
What? Just one moment here.
202
00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:39,175
What? I refuse to go on
with such an unruly audience.
203
00:12:40,719 --> 00:12:42,095
What? This is--
204
00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:46,808
I have never been so humiliated
in all my theatrical career.
205
00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:48,351
I quit!
206
00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:51,938
Oh. Touchy, touchy.
207
00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:56,192
Yeah. And that wasn't the audience.
208
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:58,278
Your gas lighter sprung a leak.
209
00:12:58,361 --> 00:12:59,571
[STRANGEPORK LAUGHS]
210
00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:02,323
-Oh, I dropped it.
-Oh, I'll get it.
211
00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:05,326
It dropped over here
by the tank of nitroglycerin.
212
00:13:05,410 --> 00:13:07,954
STRANGEPORK: You got a flashlight?
It's dark under there.
213
00:13:08,038 --> 00:13:09,789
LINK:
I'll just strike a match.
214
00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:11,124
A match?
215
00:13:12,751 --> 00:13:14,461
[LINK YELLS]
216
00:13:16,171 --> 00:13:18,631
NARRATOR:
Is this the end of Pigs in Space?
217
00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:21,176
AUDIENCE:
Yeah!
218
00:13:21,259 --> 00:13:23,636
NARRATOR:
Well, tune in again next time for--
219
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,305
AUDIENCE:
No!
220
00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:28,266
NARRATOR:
All right, then don't. See if I care.
221
00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:35,357
Me-me-me-me-me-me-me, me-me.
222
00:13:36,691 --> 00:13:38,777
[PLAYING BLUES MUSIC]
223
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,366
♪ Me-me ♪
224
00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:47,911
♪ Me-me-me-me, me-me ♪
225
00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:51,790
♪ Me-me-me-me, me-me ♪
226
00:13:53,208 --> 00:13:56,294
♪ Me-me-me-me ♪
227
00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:02,175
♪ Me-me ♪
228
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:06,763
♪ Me-me-me-me, me-me-me-me-me ♪
229
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:14,020
♪ Me-me-me-me, me-me, me-me-me-me
Me-me-me-me ♪
230
00:14:16,815 --> 00:14:19,818
♪ Me-me ♪
231
00:14:19,901 --> 00:14:22,696
♪ Me-me-me-me-me-me-me ♪
232
00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:24,572
[AUDIENCE JEERING]
233
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:27,742
Me-me-me, me-me-me?
234
00:14:27,826 --> 00:14:31,746
♪ Me-me-me-me, me-me-me-me-me ♪
235
00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:36,668
♪ Me-me ♪
236
00:14:36,751 --> 00:14:37,794
Me-me-me-me-me-me!
237
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,796
[BOOING AND JEERING]
238
00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:44,801
Quiet!
239
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,177
[AUDIENCE GOES SILENT]
240
00:14:46,261 --> 00:14:48,263
Thank you.
241
00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:55,687
♪ Me-me ♪
242
00:14:55,770 --> 00:14:58,857
♪ Me-me-me-me, me-me ♪
243
00:15:00,150 --> 00:15:04,529
♪ Me-me-me-me-me, me-me-me-me ♪
244
00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:07,449
♪ Me-me-me-me ♪
245
00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:13,329
♪ Me-me ♪
246
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,290
[SHOUTING TO MELODY]
247
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:22,130
♪ Me-me-me-me, me-me ♪
248
00:15:22,213 --> 00:15:26,760
♪ Me-me-me-me-me ♪
249
00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:29,012
[AUDIENCE BOOING AND JEERING]
250
00:15:32,057 --> 00:15:34,517
[MUMBLING]
251
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:36,394
[PLAYING "LAST TIME I SAW HIM"]
252
00:15:36,478 --> 00:15:38,271
Let's see now, yeah.
253
00:15:38,355 --> 00:15:43,443
♪ Last time I saw her
She sweetly kissed my lips ♪
254
00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:44,736
♪ It happened to-- ♪
255
00:15:44,819 --> 00:15:45,945
Oh, hi, Diana.
256
00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:47,906
Hi, Floyd. I heard you playing upstairs.
257
00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:49,199
Did you sound good.
258
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:51,409
-Oh, just messing around.
-Oh, I like it.
259
00:15:51,493 --> 00:15:53,453
-Can I sing along with you?
-Oh, would you?
260
00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:54,829
Thank you.
261
00:15:54,913 --> 00:15:57,040
♪ Last time I saw him ♪
262
00:15:57,123 --> 00:16:00,168
♪ He sweetly kissed my lips ♪
263
00:16:00,251 --> 00:16:04,506
♪ Last time I saw him
He said, "I'll be back for more of this" ♪
264
00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:05,715
Hi.
265
00:16:05,799 --> 00:16:10,553
♪ Last time I saw him
We were crying at the bus ♪
266
00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:16,476
♪ I knew he hated leaving
But he had to set us up ♪
267
00:16:16,559 --> 00:16:18,311
♪ I gave him money ♪
268
00:16:18,395 --> 00:16:21,690
♪ You know, I know I invested well ♪
269
00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:26,236
♪ My mama doesn't trust him
But he loves me, I can tell ♪
270
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:27,362
♪ Yeah! ♪
271
00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:29,572
♪ And each day the Greyhound ♪
272
00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:32,200
♪ Arrives at nine o' clock ♪
273
00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:36,955
♪ But I don't start my crying
'Til that last man's gotten off ♪
274
00:16:37,038 --> 00:16:38,081
Uh, excuse me.
275
00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:39,207
♪ Last time I-- ♪
276
00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:41,292
Hi, Kermit. What's the matter?
You look funny.
277
00:16:41,376 --> 00:16:44,337
Uh, it's just the audience out there.
You see, nothing is working
278
00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:46,381
except, uh, well, things like you.
279
00:16:46,464 --> 00:16:48,299
Oh, things like me?
280
00:16:48,383 --> 00:16:51,886
Well, do you think we can
go out there and sing this song?
281
00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:54,264
We're just messing around,
rehearsing a little.
282
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:56,683
That would be wonderful. Just one second.
283
00:16:56,766 --> 00:16:58,601
Okay. Let's go. Come on, guys.
284
00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:00,311
-Yeah. Yeah.
-Let's help out a little.
285
00:17:00,395 --> 00:17:01,855
[LAUGHS]
286
00:17:03,273 --> 00:17:06,568
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
Miss Diana Ross! Yeah!
287
00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:08,695
[AUDIENCE CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]
288
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:19,205
♪ I had no letter
It's been six months, maybe better ♪
289
00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:24,961
♪ And I try forgetting him
But I love him more than ever ♪
290
00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:30,008
♪ I have decided
I've waited long enough ♪
291
00:17:30,091 --> 00:17:35,680
♪ If there was nothing wrong
He would return right on that bus ♪
292
00:17:35,764 --> 00:17:40,935
♪ There must be trouble
So I'm leavin' on the double ♪
293
00:17:41,019 --> 00:17:46,024
♪ If he can't get to me
I know he needs me desperately ♪
294
00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:49,277
-♪ Whoo! ♪
-♪ Last time I saw him ♪
295
00:17:49,361 --> 00:17:52,197
♪ Last time I saw my honey ♪
296
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:56,493
♪ Last time I saw him
He was looking fine ♪
297
00:17:56,576 --> 00:18:00,705
♪ And as he waved goodbye
He said don't cry ♪
298
00:18:00,789 --> 00:18:03,667
♪ I'm coming back, come rain or shine ♪
299
00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:10,924
♪ Last time I saw him ♪
300
00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:13,760
♪ Last time I saw my honey ♪
301
00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:18,014
♪ Last time I saw him
He was looking fine ♪
302
00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:23,186
♪ And as he waved goodbye
He said don't cry, honey ♪
303
00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:27,148
♪ I'm coming back, rain or shine ♪
304
00:18:27,232 --> 00:18:32,529
♪ La-de-da, la-da-do
La-da-da, da-da-da ♪
305
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:37,117
♪ Last time I saw him
He was looking fine ♪
306
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:43,206
♪ And as he waved goodbye
He said don't cry, honey ♪
307
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:50,338
♪ I'm coming back, rain or shine ♪
308
00:18:50,422 --> 00:18:51,506
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
309
00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:52,632
Boom.
310
00:18:52,716 --> 00:18:55,844
[AUDIENCE CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]
311
00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:05,895
Okay. Wow, that's another 10
for Diana Ross.
312
00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:08,732
Okay, now, who'd like to go out there
and follow that?
313
00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:10,442
[SCREAMS]
314
00:19:11,526 --> 00:19:15,530
There must be somebody stupid enough
to go out there and face that audience.
315
00:19:15,613 --> 00:19:17,115
[LAUGHS]
316
00:19:17,198 --> 00:19:18,366
I'll do it, Kermit.
317
00:19:18,450 --> 00:19:22,245
I've got the ultimate act,
but I'm going to need a typewriter for it.
318
00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:24,581
Uh, well, Gonzo,
we don't have a typewriter.
319
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,416
Then I'll use a cow.
320
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,752
Hoo. What is this act of yours?
321
00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:30,837
I can sum it up in one word.
322
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,131
"Indescribable."
323
00:19:33,214 --> 00:19:35,008
Okay. Why not?
324
00:19:38,053 --> 00:19:41,389
Uh, and now, ladies and gentlemen,
I'm sure you're going to love
325
00:19:41,473 --> 00:19:44,059
Gonzo the Great! Yeah!
326
00:19:44,142 --> 00:19:45,560
[COW MOOING]
327
00:19:45,643 --> 00:19:47,270
[AUDIENCE BOOING AND JEERING]
328
00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:49,314
Ladies and gentle--
329
00:19:51,316 --> 00:19:54,027
[BOOING CONTINUES]
330
00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:56,613
GONZO:
I haven't even started yet!
331
00:20:03,286 --> 00:20:05,246
Oh! Gonzo, are you okay?
332
00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:06,373
[GONZO GROANS]
333
00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:10,460
Oh, sure. Just a couple of tomato burns
and cabbage cuts.
334
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:11,795
[GROANS]
335
00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:13,254
It's getting worse out there.
336
00:20:13,338 --> 00:20:16,174
I better get Diana back on-stage
and restore order.
337
00:20:17,384 --> 00:20:18,426
[STAMMERING]
338
00:20:18,510 --> 00:20:22,055
Okay, folks. You win.
Here's-- Uh, is she ready?
339
00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:24,808
Uh, here she is, Miss Diana Ross! Yeah!
340
00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:28,019
[AUDIENCE CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]
341
00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:36,861
Thank you. Thank you very much,
ladies and gentlemen.
342
00:20:36,945 --> 00:20:38,488
Before I sing my next song,
343
00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:41,199
I would like to bring a friend of mine
back on the stage.
344
00:20:41,282 --> 00:20:44,035
And I really do think
he deserves another chance.
345
00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:46,329
-Who's she talking about?
-I don't know.
346
00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:51,167
Here he is, that furry, funny man,
Fozzie Bear!
347
00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:53,169
-[AUDIENCE BOOING]
-I-- No. No, I can't--
348
00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:56,089
-Come on, Fozzie.
-No, Scooter, I can't-- Oh!
349
00:20:56,172 --> 00:20:59,009
Hi! Fozzie!
350
00:20:59,092 --> 00:21:02,762
-Oh, guys, come on.
-They just don't think I'm funny.
351
00:21:02,846 --> 00:21:05,473
I think you're very funny. Come on.
352
00:21:05,557 --> 00:21:09,144
-But they don't like me.
-Look, I think you're very funny.
353
00:21:09,227 --> 00:21:13,565
Tell them the joke that you told me in the
dressing room right before we came on.
354
00:21:13,648 --> 00:21:16,818
-That's a terrible joke.
-That's the best joke I've ever heard.
355
00:21:16,901 --> 00:21:18,778
-I can't do that joke.
-Oh, come on.
356
00:21:18,862 --> 00:21:20,655
It's a good one. Give it a try.
357
00:21:20,739 --> 00:21:22,157
-Okay, stick close.
-Okay.
358
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:23,450
Um...
359
00:21:23,533 --> 00:21:25,368
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
360
00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:26,828
Hiya, hiya, hiya.
361
00:21:26,911 --> 00:21:30,540
Hey, have you heard about
the new soft drink they're making ju--
362
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:32,500
I can't do this joke.
363
00:21:32,584 --> 00:21:34,544
-Come on.
-No. No, no.
364
00:21:34,627 --> 00:21:37,756
-Diana, it's a rough crowd.
-Okay. I'll do it.
365
00:21:37,839 --> 00:21:38,882
You?
366
00:21:38,965 --> 00:21:40,800
Trust me.
367
00:21:40,884 --> 00:21:43,636
Hiya, hiya, hiya.
Have you heard about the new soft drink
368
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:45,889
-they're making just for frogs?
-Uh, no.
369
00:21:45,972 --> 00:21:48,975
Tell me about the new soft drink
they're making just for frogs.
370
00:21:49,059 --> 00:21:50,435
It's called...
371
00:21:50,518 --> 00:21:52,270
Croaka-Cola.
372
00:21:52,354 --> 00:21:54,439
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING AND CHEERING]
373
00:21:56,733 --> 00:21:58,193
Isn't that the best?
374
00:21:58,276 --> 00:21:59,527
I'm a hit.
375
00:22:00,612 --> 00:22:02,030
How did you do that?
376
00:22:02,113 --> 00:22:03,990
Fozzie, see, it's very simple.
377
00:22:04,074 --> 00:22:07,827
You see, I think that telling comedy,
you know, doing comedy jokes
378
00:22:07,911 --> 00:22:09,537
-is just like singing.
-Really?
379
00:22:09,621 --> 00:22:12,957
You have to let the audience know
that you're reaching out to them
380
00:22:13,041 --> 00:22:15,251
and in return,
they reach right back to you.
381
00:22:15,335 --> 00:22:16,628
Just like this.
382
00:22:16,711 --> 00:22:22,050
♪ Reach out and touch
Somebody's hand ♪
383
00:22:22,133 --> 00:22:23,176
Yeah.
384
00:22:23,259 --> 00:22:27,180
♪ Make this world a better place ♪
385
00:22:27,263 --> 00:22:29,349
♪ If you can ♪
386
00:22:29,432 --> 00:22:35,397
♪ Reach out and touch
Somebody's hand ♪
387
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:39,234
♪ And make this world a better place ♪
388
00:22:39,317 --> 00:22:42,612
♪ If you can ♪
389
00:22:43,863 --> 00:22:45,198
Wow. I see now.
390
00:22:45,281 --> 00:22:48,410
♪ Take a little time
Out of your busy day ♪
391
00:22:48,493 --> 00:22:51,037
♪ To give encouragement ♪
392
00:22:51,121 --> 00:22:56,084
♪ To someone who's lost their way ♪
393
00:22:56,167 --> 00:22:59,629
♪ Or would I be talking to a stone ♪
394
00:22:59,713 --> 00:23:02,173
♪ If I asked you ♪
395
00:23:02,257 --> 00:23:07,721
♪ To share a problem that's not your own ♪
396
00:23:07,804 --> 00:23:14,686
♪ We can change things
If we start giving ♪
397
00:23:14,769 --> 00:23:18,064
♪ Why don't you ♪
398
00:23:18,148 --> 00:23:21,067
♪ Reach out and touch ♪
399
00:23:21,151 --> 00:23:27,073
♪ Somebody's hand ♪
400
00:23:27,157 --> 00:23:28,241
Yeah!
401
00:23:28,324 --> 00:23:31,369
♪ My, my, yes ♪
402
00:23:31,453 --> 00:23:32,495
Yeah!
403
00:23:32,579 --> 00:23:34,122
Yes!
404
00:23:34,205 --> 00:23:35,957
♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh ♪
405
00:23:36,041 --> 00:23:37,500
I get it now.
406
00:23:37,584 --> 00:23:40,503
♪ Yes, yes ♪
407
00:23:40,587 --> 00:23:43,465
Come on, everybody.
Join in and sing with me. Kermit.
408
00:23:43,548 --> 00:23:46,509
-Hey! Come on, come on.
-Miss Piggy. Come on in and sing.
409
00:23:46,593 --> 00:23:48,219
Oh, hi, you.
410
00:23:48,303 --> 00:23:53,433
♪ Reach out and touch
Somebody's hand ♪
411
00:23:53,516 --> 00:23:57,062
♪ And make this world a better place ♪
412
00:23:57,145 --> 00:23:59,022
♪ If you can ♪
413
00:23:59,105 --> 00:24:01,024
♪ Why don't you? ♪
414
00:24:01,107 --> 00:24:05,320
♪ Reach out and touch
Somebody's hand ♪
415
00:24:05,403 --> 00:24:08,573
♪ Make this world a better place ♪
416
00:24:08,656 --> 00:24:09,699
Scooter.
417
00:24:09,783 --> 00:24:11,326
♪ If you can ♪
418
00:24:11,409 --> 00:24:17,165
♪ Reach out and touch
Somebody's hand ♪
419
00:24:17,248 --> 00:24:19,334
♪ Make this world a better place ♪
420
00:24:19,417 --> 00:24:23,046
Everybody, join in in the audience.
Will you sing and join hands?
421
00:24:23,129 --> 00:24:25,882
♪ Reach out and touch ♪
422
00:24:25,965 --> 00:24:29,010
♪ Somebody's hand ♪
423
00:24:29,094 --> 00:24:32,514
♪ Make this world a better place ♪
424
00:24:32,597 --> 00:24:34,683
♪ If you can ♪
425
00:24:34,766 --> 00:24:37,894
♪ Reach out and touch ♪
426
00:24:37,977 --> 00:24:44,901
-♪ Somebody's hand ♪
-♪ Reach out and touch somebody's hand ♪
427
00:24:44,984 --> 00:24:46,319
Thank you.
428
00:24:46,403 --> 00:24:48,488
[AUDIENCE CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]
429
00:24:51,366 --> 00:24:53,993
[ALL HUMMING]
430
00:24:54,077 --> 00:24:58,373
Well, it's been a very special show,
and, uh, you've been a special audience.
431
00:24:58,456 --> 00:25:01,876
But before we go, let us say thank you
to a wonderful guest star,
432
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:03,962
ladies and gentlemen, Miss Diana Ross!
433
00:25:04,045 --> 00:25:06,506
[ALL CHEERING]
434
00:25:06,589 --> 00:25:10,260
[AUDIENCE CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]
435
00:25:10,343 --> 00:25:13,013
Thank you, Kermit. I loved being here.
Thank you very much.
436
00:25:13,096 --> 00:25:16,016
I just loved your Croaka-Cola joke.
437
00:25:16,099 --> 00:25:19,936
-Oh, good.
-Yeah, yeah. Of course I got a better one.
438
00:25:20,020 --> 00:25:22,063
-Yeah. Great. Okay, here we go.
-Okay.
439
00:25:22,147 --> 00:25:25,817
Have you heard about the new soft drink
made out of acorns?
440
00:25:25,900 --> 00:25:29,279
No. Tell me about the new soft drink
made out of acorns.
441
00:25:29,362 --> 00:25:31,531
It's called Oaka-Cola.
442
00:25:31,614 --> 00:25:33,283
[AUDIENCE BOOING]
443
00:25:34,951 --> 00:25:37,370
Fozzie, even I can't protect you
from that one.
444
00:25:37,454 --> 00:25:38,580
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
445
00:25:38,663 --> 00:25:40,832
We'll see you next time
on The Muppet Show!
446
00:25:40,915 --> 00:25:42,042
Bye!
447
00:25:42,125 --> 00:25:43,835
[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
448
00:26:18,328 --> 00:26:20,288
[BOTH SNORING]
32796
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