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1
00:00:00,542 --> 00:00:01,584
[KNOCKING]
2
00:00:02,627 --> 00:00:06,506
Angus McGonagle.
Fifteen seconds to curtain, Mr. McGonagle.
3
00:00:06,589 --> 00:00:08,925
Yes, sirree, Scooter, little buddy.
4
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:10,343
I'm raring to go.
5
00:00:10,427 --> 00:00:11,761
[AIR WHOOSHES]
6
00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:26,317
Whoa, look, it's Luke Skywalker and C3PO
and R2D2 from Star Wars.
7
00:00:26,401 --> 00:00:28,820
Oh, they'd make much better guests
than Mr. McGonagle.
8
00:00:28,903 --> 00:00:30,071
-What?
-You have to leave.
9
00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:32,866
-Just a minute, youngster!
-Sorry. Let's go.
10
00:00:32,949 --> 00:00:34,409
Excuse me, Master Luke,
11
00:00:34,492 --> 00:00:36,828
but what is this strange world
we've come to?
12
00:00:36,911 --> 00:00:38,872
Beats me, 3PO.
13
00:00:38,955 --> 00:00:43,501
Seems we've landed on some sort
of comedy variety-show planet.
14
00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:45,712
[R2D2 BEEPING]
15
00:00:47,088 --> 00:00:48,131
It's The Muppet Show,
16
00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:51,760
with our very special guest stars,
the stars of Star Wars.
17
00:00:51,843 --> 00:00:53,887
[CHEERS]
18
00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:56,056
[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
19
00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:09,527
♪ It's time to play the music ♪
20
00:01:09,611 --> 00:01:11,654
♪ It's time to light the lights ♪
21
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♪ It's time to get things started ♪
22
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♪ Why don't you get things started? ♪
23
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You're looking a little sheepish.
24
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[BLEATING]
25
00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:24,834
♪ It's time to get things started
On the most sensational, inspirational ♪
26
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:27,003
♪ Celebrational, Muppetational ♪
27
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♪ This is what we call ♪
28
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♪ The Muppet Show ♪
29
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[QUACKS]
30
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[GONZO SCREAMS]
31
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[LAUGHS]
32
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Hi-ho, hi-ho,
and welcome again to The Muppet Show.
33
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And a very special show we have
for you tonight.
34
00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:49,818
Because until about two minutes ago,
35
00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:54,447
our guest star was scheduled to be
Angus McGonagle, the Argyle Gargoyle.
36
00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:56,199
But we have canceled him.
37
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Dadgum it, this is an outrage!
I demand my spot!
38
00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:05,792
Well, uh, listen, I don't even know
what an Argyle Gargoyle does.
39
00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:08,253
I gargle Gershwin.
40
00:02:10,046 --> 00:02:12,757
The Argyle Gargoyle gargles Gershwin?
41
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Gorgeously.
42
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[STAMMERS]
43
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-Will you get off the stage?
-Ugh.
44
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-Off, off, off!
-Arrr.
45
00:02:19,055 --> 00:02:21,766
Uh, now, then, Angus has been canceled
46
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because, believe it or not,
47
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with us tonight are none other
than the stars of Star Wars,
48
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featuring special guest Mark Hamill.
49
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But first,
in keeping with the mood of the show,
50
00:02:32,444 --> 00:02:36,906
let us go where sheep may safely graze,
shall we?
51
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[BAND PLAYING TRANQUIL CLASSICAL MUSIC]
52
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[SHEEP BLEATING]
53
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ALL:
♪ Ding dong ♪
54
00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:49,627
♪ Ding dong ♪
55
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♪ Ding ♪
56
00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:52,839
♪ Dong ♪
57
00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:54,924
♪ Ding ♪
58
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-♪ Rama lam ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Ding dong ♪
59
00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,055
-♪ Rama lam ♪
-♪ Ding ding dong ♪
60
00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:04,392
♪ Rama lama lama lama ding dong
Rama lama lama lama lama ding ♪
61
00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:08,605
ALL: ♪ Rama lama lama lama lama ding dong
Rama lama lama lama lama ding ♪
62
00:03:08,688 --> 00:03:12,817
♪ Rama lama lama lama lama ding dong
Rama lama lama lama lama ding ♪
63
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:17,155
♪ Rama lama lama lama lama ding dong
Rama lama lama lama lama ding ♪
64
00:03:17,238 --> 00:03:19,908
♪ Ooh-wah-ooh ♪
65
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-♪ Whoa-oh-oh ♪
SHEEP: ♪ Bom, bom, bom ♪
66
00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:25,830
♪ I've got a girl named
Rama Lama Lama Lama Ding Dong ♪
67
00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:30,210
♪ She's everything to me
Rama Lama Lama Lama Ding Dong ♪
68
00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:32,253
♪ And I will set her free ♪
69
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-♪ 'Cause she is mine, all mine ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Ooh-wah-ooh ♪
70
00:03:37,258 --> 00:03:38,885
-♪ Whoa-oh-oh ♪
SHEEP: ♪ Bom bom bom ♪
71
00:03:38,968 --> 00:03:43,014
♪ I've got a girl named
Rama Lama Lama Lama Ding Dong ♪
72
00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:47,519
♪ She is kind to me
Rama Lama Lama Lama Ding Dong ♪
73
00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:49,688
♪ You won't believe ♪
74
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-♪ That she is mine, all mine ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Ooh-wah-ooh ♪
75
00:03:54,442 --> 00:03:56,611
♪ Bom, bom, bah-bom, bom, bom, bom ♪
76
00:03:56,695 --> 00:04:00,740
-♪ I love her, love her, love her so ♪
-♪ Bom, bom, bah-bom, bom, bom, bom ♪
77
00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:05,203
-♪ And I'll never, never let her go ♪
-♪ Bom, bom, bah-bom, bom, bom, bom ♪
78
00:04:05,286 --> 00:04:08,957
♪ I'm pretty certain
She's mine, all mine ♪
79
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:12,002
-♪ She's mine ♪
CHORUS: ♪ She's mine ♪
80
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:14,170
-♪ All of the time ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Bah, bah, ram ♪
81
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:18,383
SHEPHERDESS: ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, oh ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Rama lama lama lama ding dong ♪
82
00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:22,971
-♪ Oh, ooh ♪
-♪ Rama lama lama lama ding dong ♪
83
00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:26,808
-♪ Whoa-oh whoa-oh whoa-oh whoa-oh-oh-oh ♪
-♪ Rama lama lama lama ding dong ♪
84
00:04:26,891 --> 00:04:33,857
CHORUS: ♪ Ooh-wah-ooh ♪
SHEPHERDESS: ♪ Ooh ♪
85
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[SHEEP BLEATING]
86
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:38,194
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
87
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BOTH:
Boo! Boo!
88
00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:44,534
Bah! Bah!
89
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:46,411
BOTH:
Humbug! Humbug!
90
00:04:46,494 --> 00:04:48,246
[ALL LAUGH]
91
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:53,168
Okay, nice flocking, guys.
Say, aren't there more of you?
92
00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:55,086
-Oh, we don't know.
-Why not?
93
00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:58,256
Well, every time we try
to count ourselves, we fall asleep.
94
00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:01,301
Yeah.
95
00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:04,929
Oh, Mr. Kermit, sir,
may I say what an honor it is
96
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:09,476
to make the acquaintance of such
a distinguished amphibian as yourself,
97
00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:11,853
who has given so much joy to the universe.
98
00:05:11,936 --> 00:05:15,106
Oh, wow, well,
it's a real pleasure to meet both of you.
99
00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:17,734
And, incidentally,
why are you fellas here?
100
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:19,444
We are searching for Chewbacca.
101
00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:21,279
-Oh, Chewbacca the Wookiee?
-Correct.
102
00:05:21,363 --> 00:05:23,490
[BEEPING]
103
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As R2 rightly says, he's been kidnapped.
104
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:29,412
Kidnapped?
Well, why are you looking around here?
105
00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:32,332
We received this hyperspace telegram
from him.
106
00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:34,334
Huh. Uh...
107
00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:38,254
"To Luke Skywalker, C3PO and R2D2.
108
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:42,801
Help, I am being held prisoner
by a bunch of weird turkeys."
109
00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:45,512
It does rather sound like your show.
110
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Yeah, it does.
111
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[AIR WHOOSHES]
112
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,602
Remember Alderaan!
113
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:55,480
I'll search upstairs.
3PO, you cover that exit.
114
00:05:55,563 --> 00:05:57,148
What shall I cover it in?
115
00:05:57,232 --> 00:05:59,317
Down with the Empire!
116
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,614
Uh... Uh, what was that?
117
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,741
That was my master, Luke Skywalker.
118
00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:11,913
I'll try to calm him down, but you know
how strangely excitable these humans are.
119
00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:14,916
Yeah. They're a strange race, all right.
120
00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:19,504
And now a Muppet News Flash.
121
00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:24,217
Here are the results
of today's National Sheep Dog Trials.
122
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All the sheep dogs
have been found not guilty.
123
00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:29,097
[SHEEP BLEATING]
124
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:31,266
Hey. Hey, come on. Hey--
125
00:06:32,684 --> 00:06:33,768
[PLAYS WRONG NOTE]
126
00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:37,772
[PLAYING UPBEAT COUNTRY MUSIC]
127
00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:41,443
I'm practicing for my big number
in the second part of the show.
128
00:06:41,526 --> 00:06:43,820
I hope they love it.
129
00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:45,447
Bah, bah.
130
00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:48,116
Humbug, humbug.
131
00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:50,577
Everybody's a critic.
132
00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:51,828
[LAUGHS]
133
00:06:54,164 --> 00:06:56,332
Oh, hey, did you guys find Chewbacca?
134
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,877
Not yet,
but he's gotta be around here somewhere.
135
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:01,046
Oh, well,
as long as the three of you are here,
136
00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:04,507
how about you go out and do a song for us?
137
00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:06,926
What? You must be joking.
138
00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:09,346
[BEEPING]
139
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:12,599
Oh, look your little garbage-can friend
wants to.
140
00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:16,603
Oh, stop it, R2. Don't be so vulgar.
141
00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:19,356
You're not a song-and-dance droid.
142
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:22,275
Oh, come along,
our job is to find the Wookiee.
143
00:07:23,651 --> 00:07:25,236
Listen, pal, we're on a mission.
144
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:29,199
There's no way we're gonna get involved
in any third-rate variety show.
145
00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:32,619
Second-rate variety show.
146
00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:34,871
Uh, Kermit-- Hold it, hold it.
147
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:37,374
You're Mark Hamill!
148
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:38,750
-Me?
-Yes!
149
00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:40,251
-Uh, no, no, no.
-Huh?
150
00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:42,170
Uh, he's my cousin.
151
00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:44,756
That's it. He's my cousin.
He's right outside.
152
00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:47,967
FOZZIE: But-- Oh, go get him.
Hurry, hurry. I wanna see him.
153
00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:51,346
Run. Oh, boy, oh, boy.
I'm a big fan of his.
154
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:55,225
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
155
00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:01,773
-Hiya, Fozzie.
-Oh, wow. Hey, you know what?
156
00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:04,734
You could be a guest on this very show.
Right, Kermit?
157
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,487
Oh, well, maybe. What do you do, Mark?
158
00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:10,824
[IMITATING KERMIT] Oh, well, you know,
I've been known to do impressions.
159
00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:12,617
Yay!
160
00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:14,536
Mm-hm. Who do you do?
161
00:08:15,954 --> 00:08:18,748
Oh, well, I just love impressions. Ah.
162
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:21,876
[IMITATING FOZZIE]
Oh, I just love doing them. Ah.
163
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,504
Terrific! Who do you do?
164
00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:27,882
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Maybe I'd just better sing.
165
00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:30,301
Oh, boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
166
00:08:30,385 --> 00:08:32,178
[PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC]
167
00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:35,390
[OPERATICALLY]
♪ Be my love ♪
168
00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:40,979
♪ For only you can end this yearning ♪
169
00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:42,689
Okay.
170
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:47,110
Uh... Oh, well, Mark, uh, actually,
we have enough singers on the show.
171
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:48,778
-Yeah, yeah.
-Oh.
172
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:51,823
I know! How about a dancing comedian?
173
00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:53,450
-Hit it, Fozzie.
FOZZIE: Yes, sir.
174
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:56,036
[FOZZIE PLAYING LIVELY RAGTIME MUSIC
ON PIANO]
175
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:07,464
Hey, did you hear about the scientist
who crossed a toad with a saxophone?
176
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,174
He got a frog horn!
177
00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:14,888
You look sort of green.
178
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:19,642
Well, uh, I don't know exactly how
to put this, but, uh, what else do you do?
179
00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:20,935
Hmm.
180
00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:23,188
I gargle Gershwin.
181
00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:25,106
Mark, I know exactly how to put this.
182
00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:28,860
Get out! Out of the theater!
We don't need you! Thank you very much!
183
00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:30,820
And don't call us, we'll call you!
184
00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:34,991
I didn't get his autograph.
185
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:38,578
All right, nobody leave!
Unless you wanna go through life as a rug.
186
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:40,622
[YELLS]
187
00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:47,629
Oh, boy.
Isn't that Luke Skywalker terrific?
188
00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:55,053
Oh, the stage is empty.
My chance at last. Hit it, boys.
189
00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:57,514
[BAND PLAYING UPBEAT SHOW TUNE]
190
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,683
[GARGLING ALONG]
191
00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:11,486
[MARK GARGLING IN HARMONY]
192
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:22,038
Animal.
193
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,707
Animal. Sic them.
194
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:25,125
[GROWLING]
195
00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:26,584
[BOTH CONTINUE GARGLING]
196
00:10:26,668 --> 00:10:30,338
[ANGUS YELLING AND ANIMAL GROWLING]
197
00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:32,507
[LAUGHING]
198
00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:36,344
[BAND PLAYING UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC]
199
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:42,017
♪ Hey, down in the meadow
In a little bitty pool ♪
200
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:44,978
♪ Swam three little fishies
And a mama fishy too ♪
201
00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:46,521
-♪ Swim ♪
-♪ Said the mama fishy ♪
202
00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:47,647
♪ Swim if you can ♪
203
00:10:47,731 --> 00:10:50,608
♪ And they swam and they swam
All over the dam ♪
204
00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:53,278
TRIO: ♪ Boop, boop, dit-tem, dat-tem
What-tem, chu! ♪
205
00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:55,947
♪ Boop, boop, dit-tem, dat-tem
What-tem, chu! ♪
206
00:10:56,031 --> 00:10:58,408
TRIO: ♪ Boop, boop, dit-tem, dat-tem
What-tem, chu! ♪
207
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:02,162
ALL: ♪ And they swam and they swam
All over the dam ♪
208
00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:08,335
-♪ Stop ♪
-♪ Said the mama fishy ♪
209
00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:09,502
♪ Or you will get lost ♪
210
00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:12,380
♪ But the three little fishies
Didn't wanna be bossed ♪
211
00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:15,133
♪ So three little fishies went off
On a spree ♪
212
00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:18,178
♪ And they swam and they swam
Right out to sea ♪
213
00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:20,930
TRIO: ♪ Boop, boop, dit-tem, dat-tem
What-tem, chu ♪
214
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:23,600
♪ Boop, boop, dit-tem, dat-tem
What-tem, chu! ♪
215
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:26,144
♪ Boop, boop, dit-tem, dat-tem
What-tem, chu! ♪
216
00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:29,981
EEL & TRIO: ♪ And they swam and they swam
Right out to sea ♪
217
00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:36,613
TRIO: ♪ Whee! ♪
EEL: ♪ Yelled the little fishies ♪
218
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:37,947
TRIO:
♪ Here's a lot of fun ♪
219
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,116
♪ We'll swim in the sea
'Til the day is done ♪
220
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,244
EEL: ♪ So they swam and they swam
And it was a lark ♪
221
00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:46,122
♪ 'Til all of a sudden they met a shark ♪
222
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:49,042
♪ Boop, boop, dit-tem, dat-tem
What-tem, chu! ♪
223
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:51,878
TRIO: ♪ Boop, boop, dit-tem, dat-tem
What-tem, chu! ♪
224
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:54,506
♪ Boop, boop, dit-tem, dat-tem
What-tem, chu! ♪
225
00:11:54,589 --> 00:11:58,176
EEL & SHARK:
♪ 'Til all of a sudden they saw a shark ♪
226
00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:04,849
TRIO: ♪ Help! ♪
EEL: ♪ Cried the little fishies ♪
227
00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:05,975
♪ Look at the whale! ♪
228
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,687
EEL: ♪ And quick as they could
They turned on their tails ♪
229
00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:11,398
♪ And back to the pool
In the meadow they swam ♪
230
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:14,526
♪ And they swam and they swam
Back over the dam ♪
231
00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:17,320
TRIO: ♪ Boop, boop, dit-tem, dat-tem
What-tem, chu! ♪
232
00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:20,115
♪ Boop, boop, dit-tem, dat-tem
What-tem, chu! ♪
233
00:12:20,198 --> 00:12:22,701
ALL: ♪ Boop, boop, dit-tem, dat-tem
What-tem, chu! ♪
234
00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:28,707
♪ And they swam and they swam
Back over the dam ♪
235
00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:32,544
♪ Boop, boop, dit-tem, dat-tem
What-tem, chu! ♪
236
00:12:32,627 --> 00:12:34,713
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
237
00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:44,014
Well, folks, our own Scooter
has prepared an act for us.
238
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:47,100
Uh, he can't play very well,
but he's worked really hard on this,
239
00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:50,145
and after listening to Mark and Angus
Gershwin-gargling,
240
00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:52,313
anything should sound good.
241
00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:56,526
Anyhow, so let's give a big welcome
to Scooter singing "Six String Orchestra."
242
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,111
[CHEERS]
243
00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:00,822
[PLAYS WRONG NOTES]
244
00:13:01,865 --> 00:13:05,410
[PLAYING UPBEAT COUNTRY MUSIC]
245
00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:10,331
♪ The very day I purchased it
I christened my guitar ♪
246
00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:16,046
♪ As my monophonic symphony
Six-string orchestra ♪
247
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:21,217
♪ In my room, I practiced late
They'd leave me alone ♪
248
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:27,140
♪ My mother said, "You're nothing yet
To make the folks write home" ♪
249
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:33,188
♪ And so I dream a bass will join me
And fill the bottom in ♪
250
00:13:33,271 --> 00:13:38,735
♪ And maybe now some lead guitar
So it would not sound so thin ♪
251
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:44,199
♪ I need some drums to set the beat
And help me keep in time ♪
252
00:13:44,282 --> 00:13:50,038
♪ And way back in the distance
A horn would sound so fine ♪
253
00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:56,670
♪ And we'd all play together
Like fine musicians should ♪
254
00:13:56,753 --> 00:14:02,258
♪ And it would sound like music
And the music would sound good ♪
255
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:07,639
♪ But in real life, I'm stuck with
That same old formula ♪
256
00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:12,477
♪ Me and my monophonic symphony
Six-string ♪
257
00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:17,357
♪ Orchestra ♪
258
00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:26,533
♪ I'm taking guitar lessons
But my teacher just took leave ♪
259
00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:31,955
♪ It was something about a breakdown
Or needing a reprieve ♪
260
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:37,168
♪ I know I'll find my future
So I will persevere ♪
261
00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:43,216
♪ And hold on to my dream
Of making music to their ears ♪
262
00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:48,763
♪ And so I'll dream a bass will join me
And fill the bottom in ♪
263
00:14:48,847 --> 00:14:54,686
♪ And maybe now some lead guitar
So it would not sound so thin ♪
264
00:14:54,769 --> 00:15:00,108
♪ I need some drums to set the beat
And help me keep in time ♪
265
00:15:00,191 --> 00:15:05,363
♪ And way back in the distance
Some horns would sound so fine ♪
266
00:15:05,447 --> 00:15:07,532
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
267
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:15,415
♪ And we'd all play together
Like fine musicians should ♪
268
00:15:15,498 --> 00:15:21,087
ALL: ♪ And it would sound like music
And the music would sound good ♪
269
00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:26,259
♪ But in real life, I'm stuck with
That same old formula ♪
270
00:15:26,343 --> 00:15:31,097
♪ Me and my monophonic symphony
Six-string ♪
271
00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:36,019
♪ Orchestra ♪
272
00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:42,025
Aw. Someday I'm gonna be a star.
273
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:44,194
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
274
00:15:49,366 --> 00:15:51,576
Okay, let's see. Next we have--
275
00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:54,454
-Uncle Kermit, Uncle Kermit!
-Just one second, Robin.
276
00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:55,747
One thing at a time.
277
00:15:55,830 --> 00:16:00,085
That's how I'm able to put on this show
without falling into a panic.
278
00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:04,381
Next we have, uh, Pigs in Space.
Pigs in Space next, please.
279
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:05,548
Now, what was it?
280
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:07,217
Well, I was trying to tell you
281
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:10,970
the Star Wars people
have hijacked the Swinetrek.
282
00:16:11,054 --> 00:16:12,097
[STAMMERING]
283
00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:14,974
They've hijacked the--?
They've hijacked the Swinetrek? Aah!
284
00:16:15,058 --> 00:16:16,101
[YELLING]
285
00:16:16,184 --> 00:16:17,686
[GLASS SHATTERS]
286
00:16:17,769 --> 00:16:20,563
Well, at least, he didn't panic.
287
00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:22,941
NARRATOR:
And now
288
00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:28,405
[ECHOING]
Pigs in Space.
289
00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:32,701
The last time
we saw the spaceship Swinetrek,
290
00:16:32,784 --> 00:16:35,745
we hoped it would be the last time.
291
00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:37,997
But it's back.
292
00:16:40,083 --> 00:16:43,169
3PO, activate the NaviComputer.
293
00:16:43,253 --> 00:16:45,046
[COMPUTER HUMS]
294
00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:46,673
Ew.
295
00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:49,092
I'm not awfully keen on this spaceship,
Master Luke.
296
00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:52,262
It's so messy.
Cakes, half-eaten sandwiches...
297
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:55,223
Oh, will you stop?
You don't hear R2 complaining, do you?
298
00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:56,975
[BEEPING]
299
00:16:57,058 --> 00:16:59,644
Yes, I do.
He just said it's like a pig sty.
300
00:17:01,563 --> 00:17:03,565
Hey, what's going on here?
301
00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:07,736
I'm Captain Link Hogthrob,
and this is my spaceship.
302
00:17:07,819 --> 00:17:10,697
-That explains everything.
-Hm?
303
00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:12,615
Let me explain. I'm Luke Skywalker.
304
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,659
My friends and I have borrowed
your spaceship
305
00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:16,911
so we can rescue our friend
Chewbacca the Wookiee.
306
00:17:16,995 --> 00:17:18,121
Hm?
307
00:17:19,247 --> 00:17:23,335
Ooh. It's Luke Skywalker. Whew.
308
00:17:23,418 --> 00:17:27,547
One of the heavenly bodies.
I'll, uh, change.
309
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:29,549
Is there anything else you'd like to know?
310
00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:33,094
Yes, I have one very important question.
I'd like to ask you.
311
00:17:33,178 --> 00:17:34,220
What's that?
312
00:17:34,304 --> 00:17:36,973
Who's your tailor? I love that outfit.
313
00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:41,978
Link. Link, what's happening?
314
00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:45,190
I'll explain later.
Right now I'm talking to Luke.
315
00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:46,316
Luke?
316
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:49,652
Now, perhaps if I give you
my measurements...
317
00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:54,240
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Hey, hey. Who are you?
318
00:17:54,324 --> 00:17:57,535
I am C3PO, and that is R2D2.
319
00:17:57,619 --> 00:17:59,496
[BEEPING]
320
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:02,082
I'm Dr. Strangepork.
321
00:18:02,165 --> 00:18:04,084
Oh, my.
And I thought our names were weird.
322
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:09,673
Hey. Oh, boy, hot-diggety-dog!
Son of a gun!
323
00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:14,594
Oh, boy! Oh, look at that!
Hey, could I play with your toy robot?
324
00:18:14,678 --> 00:18:15,845
He's not a toy robot.
325
00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:18,848
He's a scientifically programmed droid.
And he is not to play with.
326
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:21,267
Aw, come on. Let me just push one button.
327
00:18:21,351 --> 00:18:23,520
C3PO:
Don't be disgusting.
328
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:25,105
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLES]
329
00:18:25,188 --> 00:18:26,648
Whoa!
330
00:18:26,731 --> 00:18:28,441
Well, I did warn you.
331
00:18:29,984 --> 00:18:33,446
-Now you've got my jacket size.
-Mm-hm.
332
00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:35,949
-Forty-four long.
-Mm-hm.
333
00:18:36,032 --> 00:18:39,494
And your head size, 42 thick.
334
00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:40,620
Uh-huh.
335
00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:44,457
Luke! Oh!
336
00:18:44,541 --> 00:18:49,129
Luke! Luke! Luke!
337
00:18:49,212 --> 00:18:53,008
-Oh, it is I, the princess.
-Princess?
338
00:18:53,091 --> 00:18:57,929
Yes, yes.
I have just escaped from an evil fiend
339
00:18:58,013 --> 00:19:00,348
who held me prisoner. Oh!
340
00:19:00,432 --> 00:19:03,476
Well, the evil fiend
must feed his prisoners well.
341
00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:06,312
What?
342
00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:09,315
Well, what I mean is,
it looks like you've put on, uh...
343
00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:10,900
Uh, ahem. Psst.
344
00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:15,947
Look, Skywalker, go along with this
or I'll cut you in half.
345
00:19:16,031 --> 00:19:17,157
[COUGHS]
346
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:19,117
Look, it's the princess!
347
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:20,827
Huh?
348
00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:22,871
Doesn't look like the princess to me.
349
00:19:22,954 --> 00:19:24,956
Watch it, hardware.
350
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:27,208
[BEEPING]
351
00:19:27,292 --> 00:19:29,627
Master Luke,
we're about to make a landing.
352
00:19:29,711 --> 00:19:31,212
And look who's there!
353
00:19:32,756 --> 00:19:33,923
[ALL GASP]
354
00:19:34,007 --> 00:19:37,886
ALL:
Oh, no! Dearth Nadir!
355
00:19:37,969 --> 00:19:39,054
Who?
356
00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:44,225
NARRATOR: Stay tuned for Part Two,
when the Swinetrek lands on Koozebane
357
00:19:44,309 --> 00:19:47,354
and we learn the true identity
of this archfiend.
358
00:19:47,437 --> 00:19:48,688
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
359
00:19:48,772 --> 00:19:51,316
GONZO:
The world will never know.
360
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:56,154
Here's a bulletin
from the Muppet Newsroom.
361
00:19:56,237 --> 00:20:01,284
The spaceship Swinetrek is about to make
a soft landing on a distant planet.
362
00:20:02,577 --> 00:20:05,955
In other planetary news,
Venus is about to make a hard landing
363
00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:07,832
on the Muppet Newsroom.
364
00:20:07,916 --> 00:20:10,001
That doesn't make sense.
365
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:17,550
NARRATOR:
When last we left our intrepid band,
366
00:20:17,634 --> 00:20:21,012
the spaceship Swinetrek
was about to make a soft landing.
367
00:20:21,096 --> 00:20:22,347
[SHIP CRASHES]
368
00:20:23,515 --> 00:20:26,184
Oh. You call that a soft landing?
369
00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:28,770
I sprained my solenoids.
370
00:20:28,853 --> 00:20:31,064
HOGTHROB:
Well, you were in the driver's chair.
371
00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:34,484
You forgot to push the stoppy thing.
372
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,237
-It's called a brake, dummy.
-Uh...
373
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:40,532
Master Luke, shouldn't we be looking
for a safe refuge on this planet?
374
00:20:40,615 --> 00:20:42,158
Exactly right, 3PO.
375
00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:44,744
[BEEPING]
376
00:20:44,828 --> 00:20:47,831
I know.
We could hide in that cave over there.
377
00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:50,125
Ah. A good plan.
378
00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:55,171
[LAUGHS MANIACALLY]
379
00:20:56,506 --> 00:20:59,843
PIGGY:
It's-- It's Dearth Nadir! Oh!
380
00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:01,428
This is Dearth Nadir?
381
00:21:01,511 --> 00:21:04,347
Yes, isn't he just icky? Oh!
382
00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:07,017
Well, what do you want of us, Nadir?
383
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:08,977
Well, why don't you say something?
384
00:21:09,060 --> 00:21:10,520
Speak!
385
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:13,064
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
386
00:21:13,148 --> 00:21:15,859
Who's your tailor? I love that outfit.
387
00:21:17,485 --> 00:21:20,530
All right, Nadir, take this!
388
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,365
[LAUGHS MANIACALLY]
389
00:21:22,449 --> 00:21:24,743
At last you know the awful truth.
390
00:21:24,826 --> 00:21:28,705
This here, my dear friend,
is a crypto-anagon transmitter.
391
00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:31,583
It can totally neutralize any blaster.
392
00:21:31,666 --> 00:21:33,543
[R2D2 BEEPING]
393
00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:38,006
[POWERS DOWN]
394
00:21:38,089 --> 00:21:40,592
This means we must resort
to the ultimate weapon.
395
00:21:40,675 --> 00:21:41,718
[C3PO GASPS]
396
00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:45,055
And hoity-toity,
what, pray tell, might that be?
397
00:21:45,138 --> 00:21:47,474
Chewbacca the Wookiee.
398
00:21:49,517 --> 00:21:51,478
[ROARING]
399
00:21:51,561 --> 00:21:54,481
HOGTHROB:
Oh, look! It's Chewbacca! We're saved!
400
00:21:54,564 --> 00:21:55,899
PIGGY:
Oh, yes!
401
00:21:55,982 --> 00:21:58,985
Help! Chewbacca has escaped! Whoa!
402
00:21:59,069 --> 00:22:02,113
The jig is up.
Nothing can stop good old Chewie.
403
00:22:02,197 --> 00:22:05,158
-One thing can.
-What's that?
404
00:22:05,241 --> 00:22:08,870
Angus McGonagle,
the Gargling Argyle Gargoyle!
405
00:22:08,953 --> 00:22:11,039
[ANGUS GARGLING UPBEAT SHOW TUNE]
406
00:22:14,334 --> 00:22:15,752
Terrible!
407
00:22:15,835 --> 00:22:18,046
Trapped by Dearth Nadir,
our weapons useless,
408
00:22:18,129 --> 00:22:22,008
and now we're being tortured
by Gargling Gershwin. Oh!
409
00:22:22,092 --> 00:22:24,302
What could possibly get us out of this?
410
00:22:24,386 --> 00:22:27,138
What else? A song-and-dance number!
411
00:22:27,222 --> 00:22:29,307
[BAND PLAYING UPBEAT SHOW TUNE]
412
00:22:31,017 --> 00:22:35,146
MUPPETS:
♪ You are my lucky star ♪
413
00:22:35,230 --> 00:22:39,651
♪ I saw you from afar ♪
414
00:22:39,734 --> 00:22:44,155
♪ You opened heaven's portals
Here on earth for us poor mortals ♪
415
00:22:44,239 --> 00:22:47,450
♪ You are my lucky star ♪
416
00:22:47,534 --> 00:22:49,786
Okay, that's the song part.
Now comes the dance.
417
00:22:49,869 --> 00:22:51,287
Take it, Chewie and R2.
418
00:22:55,125 --> 00:22:57,293
[GRUNTS SHOW TUNE]
419
00:22:57,377 --> 00:22:59,462
[BEEPING]
420
00:23:03,341 --> 00:23:05,927
-C3PO, you're next.
-I certainly don't dance.
421
00:23:06,011 --> 00:23:08,888
-Oh, but this is our big ending.
-Oh, all right.
422
00:23:08,972 --> 00:23:11,057
[TAP-DANCING]
423
00:23:17,689 --> 00:23:19,691
Lucky I once saw a Fred Astaire film.
424
00:23:25,613 --> 00:23:28,116
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
425
00:23:28,199 --> 00:23:31,202
Okay, that was really wonderful.
Okay, Luke, you're next.
426
00:23:31,286 --> 00:23:33,371
Not me. I'll go get my cousin.
427
00:23:33,455 --> 00:23:34,581
Huh?
428
00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:42,672
♪ Fate is kind ♪
429
00:23:42,756 --> 00:23:47,010
♪ She brings to those who love ♪
430
00:23:47,093 --> 00:23:50,013
♪ The sweet fulfillment ♪
431
00:23:50,096 --> 00:23:55,935
♪ Of their secret longing ♪
432
00:23:56,019 --> 00:24:00,940
ALL:
♪ When you wish upon a star ♪
433
00:24:01,024 --> 00:24:05,862
♪ Makes no difference who you are ♪
434
00:24:05,945 --> 00:24:10,158
♪ When you wish upon a star ♪
435
00:24:10,241 --> 00:24:13,453
♪ Your dreams ♪
436
00:24:13,536 --> 00:24:20,835
♪ Come true ♪
437
00:24:23,672 --> 00:24:25,757
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
438
00:24:33,223 --> 00:24:35,642
Well, it's been a wonderful show,
ladies and gentlemen.
439
00:24:35,725 --> 00:24:38,937
But before we go,
let us bring out the stars of Star Wars,
440
00:24:39,020 --> 00:24:42,607
and here they are,
Chewbacca the Wookiee! Yay!
441
00:24:42,691 --> 00:24:45,860
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
442
00:24:45,944 --> 00:24:48,905
And R2D2!
443
00:24:48,988 --> 00:24:52,117
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
444
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:54,994
C3PO, ladies and gentlemen!
445
00:24:55,078 --> 00:24:57,163
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
446
00:24:58,665 --> 00:25:00,625
And of course, Luke Skywalker!
447
00:25:00,709 --> 00:25:02,168
[WHOOPS]
448
00:25:02,252 --> 00:25:05,505
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
449
00:25:05,588 --> 00:25:08,508
Thank you, but don't you think
we ought to introduce my cousin?
450
00:25:08,591 --> 00:25:12,387
Uh, sure.
You want to, uh, go out and send him in?
451
00:25:12,470 --> 00:25:16,099
That won't be necessary.
Ladies and gentlemen, Mark Hamill.
452
00:25:16,182 --> 00:25:18,268
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
453
00:25:19,853 --> 00:25:22,022
Thanks for having us, Kermit.
454
00:25:22,105 --> 00:25:23,440
That goes double.
455
00:25:23,523 --> 00:25:25,191
It certainly does.
456
00:25:25,275 --> 00:25:27,986
Say, Luke, who's your tailor?
I love that outfit.
457
00:25:30,989 --> 00:25:33,491
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
I guess that, uh, wraps it up.
458
00:25:33,575 --> 00:25:36,619
We'll see you next time
on The Muppet Show.
459
00:25:36,703 --> 00:25:38,788
[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
460
00:26:17,786 --> 00:26:19,788
Do you think there's life in outer space?
461
00:26:19,871 --> 00:26:21,664
There's certainly none in this theater.
462
00:26:21,748 --> 00:26:23,833
[BOTH LAUGHING]
35699
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