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[KNOCK ON DOOR]
2
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Lynn Redgrave.
Fifteen seconds to curtain, Miss Redgrave.
3
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Thank you very much, Scooter.
4
00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:11,469
I think it's wonderful that
instead of doing the regular show tonight,
5
00:00:11,553 --> 00:00:13,388
you're going to be doing
the story Robin Hood.
6
00:00:13,471 --> 00:00:15,932
Yeah, the rehearsals went great.
7
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But there's just one scene
that needs a little more work.
8
00:00:18,768 --> 00:00:20,270
Oh, which one?
9
00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:22,689
Uh, let me guess.
10
00:00:22,772 --> 00:00:24,733
The archery contest?
11
00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:28,903
Excuse me, did you see
a pointy thing go by?
12
00:00:32,198 --> 00:00:36,202
It's The Muppet Show, with our
very special guest star, Lynn Redgrave.
13
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[CHEERS]
14
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[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
15
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♪ It's time to play the music ♪
16
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♪ It's time to light the lights ♪
17
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♪ It's time to meet the Muppets
On The Muppet Show tonight ♪
18
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:03,188
♪ It's time to put on makeup ♪
19
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♪ It's time to dress up right ♪
20
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♪ It's time to get things started ♪
21
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♪ Why don't you get things started? ♪
22
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Say, that was good.
23
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♪ It's time to get things started
On the most sensational, inspirational ♪
24
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♪ Celebrational, Muppetational ♪
25
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♪ This is what we call ♪
26
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♪ The Muppet Show ♪
27
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[FANFARE PLAYS, GONZO SCREAMS]
28
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Thank you, thank you,
and welcome to The Muppet Show,
29
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in which we are going to spend
the entire program
30
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doing a unique production of Robin Hood.
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It's gonna be terrific
because our special guest
32
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is one of the great ladies of stage
and screen, Miss Lynn Redgrave.
33
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And so, without further ado, or a-don't...
34
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Ladies and gentlemen,
the Muppet players with Lynn Redgrave
35
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proudly present Robin Hood.
36
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[TRUMPET FANFARE PLAYS]
37
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♪ I wish you all a fond hello ♪
38
00:02:09,045 --> 00:02:11,089
♪ My name is Alan a-Dale ♪
39
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♪ My hope is that we entertain ♪
40
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♪ With this, our evening's tale ♪
41
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♪ In Sherwood Forest, dark and deep
Dwells Robin Hood in sooth ♪
42
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♪ An outlaw and his Merry Men ♪
43
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♪ They're living fast and looth ♪
44
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"Fast and looth"?
45
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Come on, give me a break.
I'm usually the gofer around here.
46
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-Time to cavort.
-Cavort!
47
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-Cavort!
-All right.
48
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[ALL CHEERING AND SHOUTING]
49
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[SINGING IN GIBBERISH]
50
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[PIG SNORTING]
51
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MAN:
Ow! Ow! Ow! Let me go!
52
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[PIGS SNORTING]
53
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:14,194
So, how's it going?
54
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:19,491
Oh, well, looks a little bit
like feeding time on a freaky farm.
55
00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:22,827
I'm stage-managing tonight
since Kermit's starring in the show.
56
00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:24,704
Could you help me move some scenery?
57
00:03:24,788 --> 00:03:27,582
I'm sorry, Scoots.
I'd love to, but I'm on strike.
58
00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:29,334
On strike? Well, why?
59
00:03:29,417 --> 00:03:31,878
I don't dig all this Robin Hood jazz.
60
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I prefer things more hip and less green.
61
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Great. More hip and less green.
62
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Now what am I gonna do?
63
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-Hey, Beau?
-Yes, sir.
64
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-Could you move that scenery?
-Yes.
65
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-Great.
-Right now.
66
00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:49,479
-That was an easy job.
-Sure.
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Cavort, cavort, cavort...
68
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Hey, hey, hey, hold it.
69
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Prithee, prithee. Hey, cooleth it.
70
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Oh, what is it, Little John?
71
00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:06,663
You guys are not cavorting right.
72
00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:09,040
This is the proper way to cavort. Ahem.
73
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:13,753
Cavort, cavort, cavort, cavort...
You got that?
74
00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:15,338
Cavort. Like that. You got it?
75
00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:16,881
ALL:
No!
76
00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:20,552
Well, you better practice because
Robin Hood will be here any minute.
77
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[YELLS]
78
00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:25,056
It's a note from Robin Hood.
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What does it say?
80
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:27,934
"I'll be here any minute now."
81
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What'd I tell you?
82
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[PLAYING FANFARE]
83
00:04:33,314 --> 00:04:35,692
-Hi-ho, Little John.
-Hi-ho, Robin Hood.
84
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-Hi-ho, Merry Men.
ALL: Hi-ho, Robin Hood.
85
00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:40,238
-Well rehearsed.
-Thank you.
86
00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:43,408
Fair Maid Marian will be here soon
and the place looks a mess.
87
00:04:43,491 --> 00:04:44,826
What have you been doing?
88
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,786
Oh, well, you see, uh...
89
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Cavorting, right?
90
00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:50,623
Well, cavorting wrong, actually.
91
00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:52,375
[FANFARE PLAYING]
92
00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:05,638
-Oh, fair Maid Marian.
-Oh, good Robin Hood.
93
00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:07,474
Didst thou have a pleasant journey?
94
00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:08,933
Oh, aye. Forsooth.
95
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:13,188
But methinks I was followed
by the wicked Sheriff of Nottingham's men.
96
00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:14,856
KERMIT & FOZZIE:
Egads!
97
00:05:14,939 --> 00:05:16,566
We have not much time, then.
98
00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:17,692
-Little John?
-Yes?
99
00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:19,152
Tell the men to prepare.
100
00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:20,987
Yes, sir. Little...
101
00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:23,073
-Prepare what, sir?
-To cavort!
102
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Cavorting!
103
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Cavort, cavort...
104
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♪ Hooray, hooray
It's such a lovely day ♪
105
00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:34,709
♪ Singing, hey, down
Merry down, down ♪
106
00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:37,170
♪ Fol, rol, riddle, rol
Hey, nonny, no ♪
107
00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:39,923
-♪ With a dum, dum, diddle, dum ♪
-♪ Dum, dum, diddle, dum ♪
108
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,800
♪ Hey, down
Merry down, down ♪
109
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MUPPET:
Hee-hee!
110
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[HUMMING]
111
00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:47,597
-Yeah.
-Whee!
112
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[ALL LAUGHING AND CHEERING]
113
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♪ Singing, hey, down
Merry down, down ♪
114
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♪ Fol, rol, riddle, rol
Hey, nonny, no ♪
115
00:05:57,732 --> 00:05:59,025
Robin, help!
116
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PIG:
To the dungeons. Come on.
117
00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:03,988
♪ Hey, down
Merry down, down ♪
118
00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:08,368
Thank you.
119
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:12,038
-Um...
-Hey, where's Marian?
120
00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:13,748
-Marian?
-Marian?
121
00:06:13,832 --> 00:06:15,250
Marian! Marian?
122
00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:16,876
-Maid Marian!
-Marian?
123
00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:19,921
Well, I've seen a lot of versions
of Robin Hood,
124
00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:21,548
but none to match this one.
125
00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:22,757
How's that?
126
00:06:22,841 --> 00:06:25,010
The others were all good.
127
00:06:26,428 --> 00:06:28,346
Beau, set up the torture scene.
128
00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:31,766
Oh, the torture scene's
going to be really fun.
129
00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:33,309
Yeah, well...
130
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:36,521
Okay, nicely cavorted, Merry Men.
Nicely cavorted.
131
00:06:36,604 --> 00:06:38,231
-Oh, you liked the cavorting?
-Mm-hm.
132
00:06:38,314 --> 00:06:41,609
Yeah, you should see us in a full frolic.
133
00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:46,031
Okay, that Lynn Redgrave
is wonderful as Maid Marian.
134
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Such a demanding role.
135
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:50,702
Hmm, speaking of a demanding role...
136
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Yeah?
137
00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:54,414
I do not have a role in this production.
138
00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:57,542
And, uh, I am demanding one.
139
00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:01,629
You see, there's only one female part.
That's Maid Marian.
140
00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:03,340
And Lynn Redgrave is playing that.
141
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:06,885
Oh, Kermie, you were not listening, dear.
142
00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:10,722
I said, I am demanding one!
143
00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:13,767
Uh, yeah. Well, let's see...
144
00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:16,353
I guess there is a part here you can play.
145
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,646
-Let's see.
-It'll take a little rewriting.
146
00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:21,191
-I can do it!
-I'm sure you'd be perfect for it.
147
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,401
Yes, yes, what is it? Hmm? Hmm?
148
00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:26,613
-Uh, well, it's... Ahem. It's...
-Uh-huh?
149
00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:28,323
Sister Tuck.
150
00:07:30,492 --> 00:07:32,494
"Sister Tuck"?
151
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,413
Well, you couldn't play Friar Tuck.
152
00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:37,332
Sister Tuck?!
153
00:07:38,249 --> 00:07:41,211
Torture scene on next.
On-stage for the torture scene.
154
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:43,672
You want torture, I'll give you torture.
155
00:07:43,755 --> 00:07:45,590
Hi-yah!
156
00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:47,008
Where are you?
157
00:07:47,092 --> 00:07:49,469
-Piggy, let me explain.
-Sister Tuck!
158
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Sister Tuck?
159
00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:58,561
Bring in the prisoner.
160
00:07:58,645 --> 00:07:59,688
[LYNN SHRIEKING]
161
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SWEETUMS:
Move it, move it.
162
00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:05,026
Move it. Please move it.
163
00:08:05,110 --> 00:08:07,612
Get up there, okay.
164
00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:10,156
Um... Here she is.
165
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:14,828
Ah, Maid Marian,
you are now a dungeon guest
166
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of the Sheriff of Nottingham.
167
00:08:17,539 --> 00:08:19,416
[CACKLES]
168
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:22,043
Oh, no, not the Sheriff of Nottingham.
169
00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:24,170
Oh, no, no, that's The Great Gonzo.
170
00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:27,132
No, you fool,
that's the Sheriff of Nottingham.
171
00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:30,093
Oh. Yeah, sorry,
I keep forgetting it's a play.
172
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:33,638
I have you in my power now, my pretty.
173
00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:36,558
You black-hearted villainous swine.
174
00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:40,520
Oh, you silver-tongued flatterer.
175
00:08:40,603 --> 00:08:42,397
I demand to be set free.
176
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:48,361
Not until you tell me the exact location
of Robin Hood's hideout.
177
00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:51,281
I'll never tell you. Never!
178
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:52,866
That's terrific.
179
00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:53,992
Thank you.
180
00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:56,369
And now it's torture time.
181
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[BAND PLAYS DRAMATIC NOTE]
182
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Just try and make me talk.
183
00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:03,710
All right!
184
00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:08,006
We have ways of making you talk.
185
00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:10,759
Take these thumbscrews, for instance.
186
00:09:10,842 --> 00:09:12,052
What do they do?
187
00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:14,512
-You put your thumb in here like this.
-Yes?
188
00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:17,307
-That's it, then turn the handle on top.
-This way?
189
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:18,850
-No, the other way.
-Sorry.
190
00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:19,976
That's better.
191
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:23,271
When you do that, it presses the bar
down on the thumb and squee...
192
00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:25,357
[SHOUTING]
193
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,569
All right, now will you talk?
194
00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:32,530
No. I'll never tell you, never.
195
00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:35,033
All right, another turn.
196
00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:37,702
You're wasting your time.
197
00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:39,662
[YELLS]
198
00:09:40,705 --> 00:09:42,791
You could be right about that.
199
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:47,671
Ooh, but you won't talk so bravely
on the rack, my dear.
200
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,130
The rack? What's that?
201
00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:51,883
You'll wish you never asked.
202
00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:56,096
Gonzo's trying to get himself killed.
203
00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:58,473
Yeah, but he won't make it.
204
00:09:58,556 --> 00:10:01,309
He never succeeds at anything.
205
00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:05,855
Best he can hope for is maimed.
206
00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:11,111
Manacles secured, hand and foot, right?
207
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:12,946
Correct.
208
00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:16,074
There is no escape from this pain.
209
00:10:17,075 --> 00:10:19,077
This pain here?
210
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,954
[SHOUTING]
211
00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:23,164
Yes!
212
00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:25,458
Isn't that terrific?
213
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:29,254
Come on, talk.
214
00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:31,798
How much more of this can you take?
215
00:10:37,012 --> 00:10:40,140
Good Sheriff, I can take no more of this.
216
00:10:40,223 --> 00:10:43,518
I've got to go and stretch out
for a nap in my dressing room.
217
00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:44,644
Goodbye.
218
00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:48,189
Hey, wait!
219
00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:51,735
Wait! We haven't even tried
the boiling oil yet.
220
00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:53,403
[PANTING]
221
00:10:54,029 --> 00:10:56,906
Torture scene over. Archery scene next.
222
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,909
Stand by, archers and peons.
223
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:02,037
"Archers, peons, Scooter."
224
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,455
I'm on, too.
225
00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:04,998
But, Scooter!
226
00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:08,168
Come on, I've got to get this out
for the archery contest.
227
00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:09,586
Somebody give me a hand.
228
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,796
GONZO:
You say you want a hand?
229
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,175
You got one.
230
00:11:25,894 --> 00:11:28,313
♪ The day of the archery contest ♪
231
00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:30,482
♪ There isn't one seat left to sell ♪
232
00:11:30,732 --> 00:11:33,651
♪ The crowd on the green's
Packed as tight as sardines ♪
233
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:35,779
♪ Which might also account for the smell ♪
234
00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,656
[CHEERING AND SHOUTING]
235
00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:43,244
[BOOING]
236
00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:48,667
♪ Both contestants look good
To the experts ♪
237
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:50,960
♪ Yes, the winner is tricky to choose ♪
238
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:53,922
♪ But I'll stick my neck out
And without any doubt ♪
239
00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:56,424
♪ Say the other guy's certain to lose ♪
240
00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:58,968
♪ Is that it?
Is that all you can tell us? ♪
241
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,095
Well...
242
00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:02,263
♪ As our archers warm up on the track ♪
243
00:12:02,347 --> 00:12:05,100
♪ But, regrettably
He only gets to say... ♪
244
00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:06,226
Gee.
245
00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:08,937
♪ When a practice shot cancels his act ♪
246
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,940
[GROANS]
247
00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:19,531
♪ Black Bart is the opening archer
The Sheriff of Nottingham's man ♪
248
00:12:20,115 --> 00:12:23,451
♪ With the strength of an ox
The nerve of a fox ♪
249
00:12:23,535 --> 00:12:25,995
♪ And the brains of a gooseberry flan ♪
250
00:12:37,132 --> 00:12:39,843
♪ But the sheriff has bribed
And corrupted a youth ♪
251
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:42,345
♪ The rules of the contest to bend ♪
252
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:45,348
♪ He never heard say
That crime doesn't pay ♪
253
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,936
♪ But he sure gets the point in the end ♪
254
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:55,984
♪ So with Black Bart
Awarded a bull's-eye ♪
255
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:58,528
♪ There's little poor Robin can do ♪
256
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:02,115
♪ Save to trust to his luck
His nerve and his pluck ♪
257
00:13:04,159 --> 00:13:06,953
♪ And split Black Bart's arrow in two ♪
258
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,414
[CHEERING]
259
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:20,759
Thank you, thank you. My pleasure.
Nice contest.
260
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,346
Ahem. During this interval,
261
00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:28,099
it is my great pleasure to present
the author of tonight's drama.
262
00:13:28,183 --> 00:13:32,228
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. William Shakespeare.
263
00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:35,982
Delighted.
264
00:13:36,066 --> 00:13:38,735
You are theWilliam Shakespeare?
265
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:41,279
I am a William Shakespeare, yeah.
266
00:13:41,863 --> 00:13:44,574
Mr. Shakespeare, what an honor.
267
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:48,703
Do you know I saw The Sound of Music
at least a dozen times?
268
00:13:49,621 --> 00:13:51,247
Uh, now wai-- Wait just a minute.
269
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:54,834
This here William Shakespeare
is my nom de plume.
270
00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:58,380
-Your what?
-My pen name.
271
00:13:58,463 --> 00:14:00,965
Then you are not the real
William Shakespeare?
272
00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:04,552
-Well, of course not.
-Oh! Of course not!
273
00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:06,304
I can see that now.
274
00:14:06,388 --> 00:14:10,558
He was a uh... a bearded man.
And you're much younger.
275
00:14:10,642 --> 00:14:12,811
-And he's dead.
-And he's...
276
00:14:13,812 --> 00:14:15,063
Is he?!
277
00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:19,234
Oh! I didn't know.
I'm so sorry. I didn't realize.
278
00:14:19,317 --> 00:14:20,902
Yeah, I can see that. Yeah.
279
00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:24,447
Tell me, did he leave a wife and children?
280
00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:27,534
Well, as far as I'm aware,
he left just about everything.
281
00:14:27,617 --> 00:14:31,121
Including an unfinished play, Henry VIII.
282
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:33,540
That's a tragedy.
283
00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:35,917
Well, it certainly isn't a comedy.
284
00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:41,589
And, by adopting his name, you hope
to keep something of his legend alive.
285
00:14:41,673 --> 00:14:44,342
Yeah. Principally his royalties.
286
00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:46,302
His what?
287
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:48,513
His royalty payments.
288
00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:51,933
-You're good.
-Thank you.
289
00:14:52,017 --> 00:14:56,354
Tell me, could you please recite
a portion of his masterpieces?
290
00:14:56,438 --> 00:14:59,482
Uh, sure, but let me get an actor
to do it properly, all right?
291
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:02,235
-Hey! Hey, you! Actor.
-Excuse me.
292
00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:04,237
You wanna read this for me, please?
293
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,364
This... this is an actor?
294
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:10,535
To be, or not to be...
295
00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:16,750
[TALKS IN GIBBERISH]
296
00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:21,296
I didn't understand all of it, but I'm
certain the English people enjoyed it.
297
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:23,256
Now back to work.
298
00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:26,301
Don't litter.
299
00:15:34,684 --> 00:15:37,062
Oh, prithee, fair Maid Marian,
300
00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:40,148
thank you for joining me
in this here fair glen here.
301
00:15:40,231 --> 00:15:43,943
Oh, good Robin Hood,
this was the very spot that we first met.
302
00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:46,696
-Yea, verily.
-Yes, and I shall always remember it.
303
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:50,325
And how surprised I was
to meet the famous Robin Hood.
304
00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:52,911
Surprised? Uh, in what way, surprised?
305
00:15:52,994 --> 00:15:54,037
Um, well...
306
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:57,248
-Was it the fact that I'm a daring robber?
-Um...
307
00:15:57,332 --> 00:16:00,627
Or the fact that I am debonair
and handsome?
308
00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:04,714
No, it was the fact that you were a frog.
309
00:16:07,676 --> 00:16:09,594
You noticed that, huh?
310
00:16:09,678 --> 00:16:12,097
Yes, well, I couldn't help noticing.
311
00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:14,474
Particularly since I'm not one.
312
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,142
Oh.
313
00:16:16,226 --> 00:16:18,478
Well, listen, Marian.
314
00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:20,939
Don't let that worry you.
315
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:23,566
♪ Your eyes are not bulgy ♪
316
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,610
♪ You don't live in a swamp ♪
317
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:28,655
♪ You don't hop or turn somersaults ♪
318
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:32,033
♪ Your feet are not webbed ♪
319
00:16:32,784 --> 00:16:34,452
♪ And you never eat flies ♪
320
00:16:35,203 --> 00:16:37,497
♪ I'm sorry to dwell on your faults ♪
321
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,418
♪ And yet I still ♪
322
00:16:42,711 --> 00:16:44,212
♪ Love you ♪
323
00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:47,549
♪ I always will love you ♪
324
00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:51,302
♪ You shine in my mind ♪
325
00:16:52,095 --> 00:16:53,513
♪ Like a dream ♪
326
00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:59,602
♪ And, yet, I still love you ♪
327
00:17:00,311 --> 00:17:03,481
♪ I always will love you ♪
328
00:17:04,149 --> 00:17:09,112
♪ Although you are not even green ♪
329
00:17:12,282 --> 00:17:14,367
♪ I know I'm an odd one ♪
330
00:17:14,451 --> 00:17:16,077
♪ I'm not like a frog ♪
331
00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:19,414
♪ My head is all covered with hair ♪
332
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:22,834
♪ No flippers, no bulges ♪
333
00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:25,503
♪ No croaking, no warts ♪
334
00:17:25,587 --> 00:17:30,550
♪ No wonder that sometimes you stare ♪
335
00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:31,843
♪ And yet ♪
336
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:36,014
♪ If you love me ♪
337
00:17:36,306 --> 00:17:39,601
♪ You know that I love you ♪
338
00:17:39,684 --> 00:17:42,729
♪ You shine in my mind ♪
339
00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:45,106
♪ Like a dream ♪
340
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:49,652
♪ And so if I love you ♪
341
00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:53,323
♪ I really do love you ♪
342
00:17:53,782 --> 00:17:57,327
♪ Who cares if you're not ♪
343
00:17:57,410 --> 00:18:02,916
♪ Even green ♪
344
00:18:13,051 --> 00:18:14,761
-Good Robin Hood?
-Yea?
345
00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:17,097
Pray, kiss me sweetly.
346
00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:18,390
Ooh.
347
00:18:19,891 --> 00:18:21,643
Hello.
348
00:18:22,394 --> 00:18:24,396
Uh... Piggy!
349
00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:27,190
-Prithee, Robin Hood.
-What?
350
00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:30,902
Thou art wanted in yon... thicket.
351
00:18:30,985 --> 00:18:32,696
[BOTH SHOUTING]
352
00:18:33,863 --> 00:18:36,783
Okay, Maid Marian, to the dungeon.
353
00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:40,120
Oh, Robin, Robin, no!
354
00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:43,581
What'd you think of Miss Piggy's outfit?
355
00:18:43,665 --> 00:18:46,376
I think she ought to kick the habit.
356
00:18:48,420 --> 00:18:50,630
That's an old joke.
357
00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:52,507
So are you.
358
00:18:56,970 --> 00:18:58,722
Miss Piggy, I want to talk to you.
359
00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:03,476
Ah. You mean, you wish an audience
with Sister Tuck?
360
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:04,602
[SIGHS]
361
00:19:04,686 --> 00:19:07,814
No, I want to talk to you.
I want to know what you did with Lynn.
362
00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:11,443
Remember, blessed are the meek.
363
00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:15,071
What did you do with her?
364
00:19:15,697 --> 00:19:17,198
Meeker.
365
00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:20,618
Uh, what did you do with her?
366
00:19:20,702 --> 00:19:22,829
Oh, that's nice.
367
00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:25,790
She is in yonder dressing room.
She's okay.
368
00:19:25,874 --> 00:19:29,878
Yeah, but the big dungeon scene
is coming up next. I'll go tell her.
369
00:19:29,961 --> 00:19:31,379
No, no...
370
00:19:31,463 --> 00:19:35,967
I should tell her.
It is the least that moi can do.
371
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:41,389
Town crier on-stage.
372
00:19:41,473 --> 00:19:45,852
Uh, Scooter, the town crier is on-stage,
but he can't go on.
373
00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:47,312
Why not?
374
00:19:47,395 --> 00:19:49,647
He lost his onion. Ah!
375
00:19:49,731 --> 00:19:52,901
-See, onion makes him cry.
-Will you get out of here?!
376
00:19:52,984 --> 00:19:55,487
-I wrote that myself.
-Will you get out of here?!
377
00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:57,072
[RINGING BELL]
378
00:19:57,155 --> 00:19:59,741
Five o'clock and all's well.
379
00:19:59,824 --> 00:20:01,701
Five o'clock and all's well.
380
00:20:01,785 --> 00:20:04,204
Except that Maid Marian
has been kidnapped,
381
00:20:04,287 --> 00:20:07,123
the sheriff's up to no good,
that dog is stealing cheese,
382
00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:10,210
Kermit's mad at Piggy
and it's really only 4:30.
383
00:20:17,342 --> 00:20:18,927
So how goes the night?
384
00:20:19,010 --> 00:20:20,929
'Tis dark but still.
385
00:20:21,012 --> 00:20:22,097
Still what?
386
00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:23,973
Still dark.
387
00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:27,018
That's a good one.
388
00:20:28,311 --> 00:20:30,605
Our prisoner, Maid Marian, is safe.
389
00:20:30,689 --> 00:20:31,773
-Yes.
-Yeah.
390
00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:32,899
Yoo-hoo.
391
00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:34,150
-Hark!
-A noise.
392
00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:36,194
-What?
-Aha!
393
00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:38,488
Ha, ha!
394
00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:42,325
Hold fast, good sir, lest I strike you
again with my quarterstaff.
395
00:20:42,409 --> 00:20:43,660
That's a cheap weapon.
396
00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:45,829
Mine cost 50 cents.
397
00:20:46,246 --> 00:20:48,373
That's a cheap joke. You'll pay for that.
398
00:20:48,456 --> 00:20:50,083
[BOTH GRUNTING]
399
00:20:52,627 --> 00:20:55,797
Float like a butterfly, sting like a frog.
400
00:20:57,799 --> 00:20:59,217
[PANTING]
401
00:21:03,513 --> 00:21:05,056
-Ha, ha!
MERRY MEN: Yeah! Yeah!
402
00:21:05,140 --> 00:21:08,059
All right, Kermit!
Robin Hood, I mean. Yes!
403
00:21:08,143 --> 00:21:13,398
Oh, sir, Robin Hood,
thou did smite him mightily on the pâté.
404
00:21:13,481 --> 00:21:15,859
I believe that's pate.
405
00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:17,652
I'm sorry. Kermit, I'm sorry.
406
00:21:17,736 --> 00:21:19,946
Yes, but good men of Sherwood Forest,
407
00:21:20,030 --> 00:21:23,283
we must now sneak away
and rescue Maid Marian.
408
00:21:23,366 --> 00:21:26,327
-Sneak and rescue!
-Sneak away!
409
00:21:27,495 --> 00:21:30,582
Wait! Wait, men! We must go hushily.
410
00:21:30,665 --> 00:21:34,044
-Oh, hushily. Hush.
-Shh! Shh!
411
00:21:35,754 --> 00:21:39,132
Ooh. Hark,
it is the beautiful Maid Marian.
412
00:21:39,215 --> 00:21:40,342
Lights.
413
00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:42,969
Piggy!
414
00:21:43,053 --> 00:21:46,264
Oh, Robin Hood, I am "sav-ed. "
415
00:21:48,516 --> 00:21:50,894
Piggy, where's Lynn Redgrave?
416
00:21:50,977 --> 00:21:53,396
Uh, stage fright.
417
00:21:53,855 --> 00:21:56,649
She won't come out of her dressing room.
418
00:21:56,733 --> 00:22:00,278
I thought it best if I took over her part.
419
00:22:00,362 --> 00:22:02,781
Piggy? "Stage fright"?
420
00:22:03,073 --> 00:22:04,366
Stage fright?
421
00:22:04,449 --> 00:22:09,996
But also her dressing room door
became sort of stuck.
422
00:22:10,330 --> 00:22:11,373
Stuck?
423
00:22:11,456 --> 00:22:14,250
Quick, my Merry Men, to the rescue!
To the rescue!
424
00:22:14,334 --> 00:22:16,419
Let's go! And away we go!
425
00:22:16,503 --> 00:22:19,381
Hold it, wait! It's me. I'm stuck here.
426
00:22:19,464 --> 00:22:21,341
Hey, come on. Help!
427
00:22:21,424 --> 00:22:22,592
Police!
428
00:22:23,134 --> 00:22:24,886
Will the sheriff do?
429
00:22:24,969 --> 00:22:26,221
What?
430
00:22:26,971 --> 00:22:29,057
-Aah!
-Kissy, kissy.
431
00:22:29,140 --> 00:22:31,017
[SCREAMING]
432
00:22:32,602 --> 00:22:33,853
How goes it?
433
00:22:33,937 --> 00:22:35,230
Strange.
434
00:22:35,313 --> 00:22:37,482
Strange but still.
435
00:22:38,733 --> 00:22:39,984
Still what?
436
00:22:40,068 --> 00:22:41,236
Still strange.
437
00:22:45,281 --> 00:22:47,909
Our prisoner, Lynn Redgrave, is safe.
438
00:22:47,992 --> 00:22:49,494
[LYNN SCREAMS]
439
00:22:49,577 --> 00:22:50,912
And loud.
440
00:22:50,995 --> 00:22:54,207
LYNN: Someone help me!
I'm supposed to be on-stage!
441
00:22:55,166 --> 00:22:56,209
Help!
442
00:22:56,292 --> 00:22:57,335
Knock-knock.
443
00:22:57,419 --> 00:22:58,920
Who's there?
444
00:23:00,005 --> 00:23:02,549
Aha! Stand fast, good sir.
445
00:23:02,632 --> 00:23:06,052
Move not, lest I strike thee also
with my quarterstaff.
446
00:23:06,136 --> 00:23:08,847
Ha! Mine cost a buck 95.
447
00:23:10,932 --> 00:23:12,976
-Ooh, a swordfight.
-Yes.
448
00:23:16,771 --> 00:23:18,982
Wait a minute. Tickle, tickle.
449
00:23:19,065 --> 00:23:20,108
[LAUGHS]
450
00:23:21,317 --> 00:23:23,403
Come, Merry Men, to the rescue!
451
00:23:23,486 --> 00:23:25,613
MERRY MAN:
Hooray! To the rescue! Come on!
452
00:23:26,072 --> 00:23:29,075
What ho, Maid Marian. Victory is ours.
453
00:23:29,159 --> 00:23:32,203
Oh, Robin Hood and his Merry Men.
454
00:23:33,788 --> 00:23:36,207
♪ Hooray! Hooray! ♪
455
00:23:36,291 --> 00:23:38,543
♪ My Robin saved the day ♪
456
00:23:38,626 --> 00:23:41,880
♪ Singing, hey, down
Merry down, down ♪
457
00:23:41,963 --> 00:23:44,215
♪ Fol, rol, riddle, rol
Hey, nonny, no ♪
458
00:23:44,299 --> 00:23:47,552
♪ With a dum, dum, diddle, dum
Dum, dum, diddle, dum ♪
459
00:23:47,635 --> 00:23:50,055
Quiet! Shh! Listen, listen.
460
00:23:50,138 --> 00:23:53,475
Kermit, shouldn't we be doing this
on the stage?
461
00:23:53,558 --> 00:23:55,101
On the stage? You're right.
462
00:23:55,185 --> 00:23:56,936
Quick, Merry Men, to the stage!
463
00:23:57,020 --> 00:23:58,480
[ALL SHOUTING]
464
00:23:58,563 --> 00:24:00,690
To the forest! To the forest, here we go.
465
00:24:00,774 --> 00:24:04,027
-Come on!
-To the forest! To the forest!
466
00:24:04,110 --> 00:24:08,531
Come quickly. Come, Robin.
Come, Merry Men, to the greensward.
467
00:24:08,615 --> 00:24:12,369
-To the greensward!
-To the greensward!
468
00:24:12,452 --> 00:24:14,162
-Come!
-To the greensward!
469
00:24:18,958 --> 00:24:20,293
♪ We won ♪
470
00:24:20,377 --> 00:24:21,544
♪ We won ♪
471
00:24:21,628 --> 00:24:24,172
♪ And now our play is done ♪
472
00:24:24,255 --> 00:24:27,050
♪ Our fair maid has been freed
From the fort ♪
473
00:24:27,133 --> 00:24:29,552
♪ By my brave little prince of the wart ♪
474
00:24:29,636 --> 00:24:32,055
♪ Now there's naught to do but resort ♪
475
00:24:32,138 --> 00:24:34,307
♪ To a feisty old cavort ♪
476
00:24:34,391 --> 00:24:37,602
♪ Singing, hey, down
Merry down, down ♪
477
00:24:37,686 --> 00:24:40,230
♪ Fol, rol, riddle, rol
Hey, nonny, no ♪
478
00:24:40,313 --> 00:24:42,774
♪ With the most sensational
Cavort-ational ♪
479
00:24:42,857 --> 00:24:45,402
♪ Inspirational, Muppetational ♪
480
00:24:45,485 --> 00:24:52,492
♪ Tale of Robin Hood ♪
481
00:25:00,500 --> 00:25:02,544
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
482
00:25:28,403 --> 00:25:31,322
Kermit, this has been a most unique
theatrical experience.
483
00:25:31,406 --> 00:25:34,617
Oh, thank you.
We can take that as a compliment?
484
00:25:34,701 --> 00:25:36,786
Um, well...
485
00:25:36,870 --> 00:25:39,539
Well, we'll see you next time
on The Muppet Show.
486
00:25:39,622 --> 00:25:41,207
-Bye.
-Kissy, kissy.
487
00:25:41,291 --> 00:25:43,084
Miss Piggy, excuse me. Thank you.
488
00:25:43,168 --> 00:25:44,544
[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
489
00:25:44,627 --> 00:25:46,921
Thank you, thank you.
It was nice to be here.
490
00:25:47,005 --> 00:25:49,758
Thank you. Yes, I played all 36 of them.
491
00:25:49,841 --> 00:25:51,676
Thank you. Thank you, Lynn.
492
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:54,387
Thank you very much, all the helpers.
493
00:25:54,471 --> 00:25:56,681
Thank you,
all the little people back there.
494
00:25:56,765 --> 00:25:59,809
Thank you, Lynn. Thank you, Uncle J.P.
495
00:26:21,289 --> 00:26:23,708
The legend of Robin Hood will never die.
496
00:26:23,792 --> 00:26:27,379
No, but it sure got wounded
pretty bad tonight.
35601
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