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[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
2
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Leslie Uggams?
Fifteen seconds to curtain, Miss Uggams.
3
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,632
Thank you, Scooter.
4
00:00:07,716 --> 00:00:10,719
Uh, it is true that Big Bird
from Sesame Street
5
00:00:10,802 --> 00:00:12,637
is on the show tonight, right?
6
00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:14,139
Oh, that's right, Leslie.
7
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Well, would you tell him
8
00:00:15,724 --> 00:00:18,893
that his younger brother
is in my dressing room?
9
00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:21,062
[CHICKENS CLUCKING]
10
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It's The Muppet Show,
with our very special guest stars,
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Leslie Uggams and Big Bird
of Sesame Street. Yay!
12
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,824
[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
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♪ It's time to play the music ♪
14
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♪ It's time to light the lights ♪
15
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:53,094
♪ It's time to meet the Muppets
On The Muppet Show tonight ♪
16
00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:55,347
♪ It's time to put on makeup ♪
17
00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:57,557
♪ It's time to dress up right ♪
18
00:00:57,640 --> 00:00:59,517
♪ It's time to get things started ♪
19
00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:01,895
♪ Why don't you get things started? ♪
20
00:01:01,978 --> 00:01:04,898
♪ Bock-bock-bock, bock, bock-bock, bock ♪
21
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♪ It's time to get things started
On the most sensational, inspirational ♪
22
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♪ Celebrational, Muppetational ♪
23
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♪ This is what we call ♪
24
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♪ The Muppet Show ♪
25
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[QUACKS]
26
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[QUACKING]
27
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[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
28
00:01:26,169 --> 00:01:29,798
Thank you, thank you,
and welcome again to The Muppet Show.
29
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And we've got some show for you tonight,
30
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because our special guest
is the lovely singer, dancer, and actress
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Miss Leslie Uggams.
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And also,
making a special appearance tonight
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is a friend of mine from Sesame Street,
Big Bird. And--
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Oh, hey, Kermit? Now? Huh? Now?
35
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Uh, not yet, Big Bird.
You come on a little later in the show.
36
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Oh, okay. I'll just wait back here.
37
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Yeah. Just watch out for the--
38
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[CRASHING AND GLASS SHATTERING]
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--overhead light.
40
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Uh, anyhow, now ladies and gentlemen,
our very special guest,
41
00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:03,248
Miss Leslie Uggams!
42
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[ALL CHATTERING]
43
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[PLAYING "HEY THERE, GOOD TIMES"]
44
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[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
45
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♪ Hey there, good times, here I am ♪
46
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♪ Welcome back your baby lamb ♪
47
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♪ Open wide them golden doors ♪
48
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♪ And set my chair down next to yours ♪
49
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♪ I've been freezin', sneezin' ♪
50
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♪ Out there where the bad times blow ♪
51
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♪ Please don't stop to scold me ♪
52
00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:57,802
♪ Let your lovin' arms enfold me ♪
53
00:02:57,886 --> 00:03:00,764
♪ Hey there, good times, take my hand ♪
54
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:03,558
♪ Give my music to the band ♪
55
00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:06,061
♪ Dust off that old welcome mat ♪
56
00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:09,481
♪ And show me where to hang my hat ♪
57
00:03:09,564 --> 00:03:12,192
♪ I've been lost for all these years ♪
58
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♪ Cryin' buckets full of tears ♪
59
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♪ Though I'm used and bruised and muddy ♪
60
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♪ Clap my back and call me "buddy" ♪
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CHORUS:
♪ Bye-bye, bad times ♪
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♪ Pack your gear ♪
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♪ I've had bad times ♪
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♪ Up to here ♪
65
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♪ Hey there, glad times ♪
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00:03:35,173 --> 00:03:38,093
♪ Please appear ♪
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00:03:38,176 --> 00:03:40,762
♪ Show me that I'm not forgotten ♪
68
00:03:40,845 --> 00:03:43,723
♪ Oil me down and spoil me rotten ♪
69
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CHORUS:
♪ So long, bum days ♪
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♪ Gotta split ♪
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ALL:
♪ Gloomy glum days ♪
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♪ Go on, get ♪
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♪ Sugarplum days ♪
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♪ Shake my mitt ♪
75
00:04:00,990 --> 00:04:03,493
♪ Shout hurray and hallelujah ♪
76
00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:06,788
♪ Happy days, I'm comin' to ya ♪
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LESLIE: ♪ So long, bum days ♪
-♪ Hey there, good times, take me back ♪
78
00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:35,316
-♪ I've gotta split ♪
-♪ Grab my suitcase, pay the hack ♪
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-♪ Gloomy glum days ♪
-♪ Kiss my cheek and shout my name ♪
80
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-♪ Go on, get ♪
-♪ And make me feel I'm glad I came ♪
81
00:04:41,031 --> 00:04:43,867
-♪ Sugarplum days ♪
-♪ I've been down in Satan's den ♪
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-♪ Shake my mitt ♪
-♪ Ain't felt good since don't know when ♪
83
00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:49,414
-♪ Shout hooray and hallelujah ♪
-♪ Please don't be so cold and chilly ♪
84
00:04:49,497 --> 00:04:52,500
-♪ Baby's back and runnin' to ya ♪
-♪ Welcome back your weepin' Willy ♪
85
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ALL:
♪ Bye-bye, bad times ♪
86
00:04:55,337 --> 00:04:58,214
♪ So long, sad times ♪
87
00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:02,093
♪ Hey there, good times ♪
88
00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:08,892
♪ Here I am ♪
89
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[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING AND WHISTLING]
90
00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:22,530
Well, that number shows
what a great actress Leslie Uggams is.
91
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Actress? She wasn't acting.
She was singing.
92
00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:28,244
Yes, but she looked like she enjoyed it.
93
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,579
That's acting.
94
00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:31,956
[BOTH LAUGHING]
95
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-Okay, nice number.
SWEETUMS: Ow, ow, ow!
96
00:05:35,877 --> 00:05:38,004
-Oh, very good, Leslie.
-Thank you.
97
00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:40,548
-Oh, who stepped on your toe?
-What?
98
00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:42,634
Who stepped on your toe?
99
00:05:42,717 --> 00:05:43,843
Well, I did!
100
00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:45,720
[ALL LAUGHING]
101
00:05:45,804 --> 00:05:48,223
SWEETUMS:
I stepped on my toe!
102
00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:51,559
Kermit, if you need me,
I'll be in Camilla's dressing room.
103
00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:53,436
Oh, Camilla. Camilla the chicken?
104
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:56,189
-Yeah, yeah. Oh, I'm so nervous.
-Hm.
105
00:05:56,272 --> 00:06:00,235
Tonight's our first formal date,
and I'm almost sick with fear.
106
00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:02,862
Well, I imagine she feels much the same.
107
00:06:02,946 --> 00:06:05,156
Oh, you think so?
108
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:09,452
Oh, boy.
Suppose I get so excited that I faint?
109
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:10,620
Gonzo, I just don't know.
110
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:15,041
I suppose she'll have to give you
mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
111
00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:17,419
She'll have to what?
112
00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:21,089
Oh, or in your case,
mouth-to-beak resuscitation.
113
00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:22,549
[GONZO SCREAMS]
114
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Gonzo, are you okay?
115
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:28,930
Of course. I was just rehearsing my faint.
116
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:32,851
I hope Camilla's been rehearsing hers.
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[HUMMING]
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[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
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GONZO:
Coco-roo-coo-roo.
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00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,111
Bock, bock, bock.
121
00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:45,613
GONZO:
It's me, hee, hee.
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00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:47,782
[CLUCKING]
123
00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:51,661
[GONZO LAUGHS]
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Camilla, my apricot, these are for you.
125
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[CAMILLA GASPS]
126
00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:03,548
[CAMILLA SNEEZES THEN CRASHES]
127
00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:09,846
Oh. Oh, gosh.
I think... I think the room is spinning.
128
00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:12,307
I may faint.
129
00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:13,975
[GONZO SCREAMS]
130
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How was that?
131
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[CAMILLA GASPING]
132
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[CAMILLA SNEEZES]
133
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[STAMMERS]
134
00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:25,945
-Camilla?
-Achoo!
135
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:30,742
Camilla?
Camilla, aren't you going to kiss me?
136
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[CAMILLA GASPS]
137
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,537
[CAMILLA SNEEZES THEN CRASHES]
138
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:38,833
Oh, great. Just my luck.
A chicken with hay fever.
139
00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:40,794
[CAMILLA SNEEZES THEN GONZO SCREAMS]
140
00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:43,546
Uh...
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00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:44,798
[CAMILLA GROANS]
142
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Well, look, now, Camilla.
143
00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:50,387
Camilla, why don't I take you out
for some fresh air, okay?
144
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,430
That will make it all better.
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[GASPING]
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[SIGHS]
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[SNEEZES]
148
00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:01,398
[SQUAWKS]
149
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:06,194
[CLEARS THROAT]
150
00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:11,741
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew here at Muppet Labs,
where the future is being made today.
151
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:14,077
Well, jeepers, you're about to witness
152
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:17,997
the world's first demonstration
of fireproof paper.
153
00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:21,543
Here is my assistant, Beaker,
carrying a lighted blowtorch.
154
00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:24,254
He will now show you how impossible it is
155
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:28,049
to ignite the fireproof paper
in this basket.
156
00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:30,093
[SCREAMING]
157
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:33,263
HONEYDEW:
There is no way this paper can burn.
158
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:37,142
With Muppets' fireproof paper,
you will always feel secure.
159
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:41,479
Tune in next time and witness Muppet Labs'
new answer to the energy crisis,
160
00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:42,647
flammable water.
161
00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:44,441
[BEAKER SCREAMING]
162
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,693
That's all for now, from Muppet Labs.
163
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[BOTH SCREAMING]
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HONEYDEW:
Oh, dear. Oh.
165
00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:54,325
What do you suppose they call that?
A novelty act?
166
00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:56,369
I don't know, but it wasn't too bad.
167
00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:58,163
Well, that's a novelty.
168
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,500
[PIGGY SIGHS]
169
00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:06,880
Holy maracas!
170
00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:10,925
Oh, hi. I'm Big Bird.
171
00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:13,720
Huh. No kidding.
172
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:15,930
-I'm a friend of Kermit's.
-Oh.
173
00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:20,018
Yeah, we both come from
the same neighborhood, Sesame Street.
174
00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:25,398
Oh, isn't that that cute little
children's show with puppets?
175
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:27,650
Uh-huh. Well, who are you?
176
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:31,780
Who am I?
177
00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:34,908
I am Miss Piggy.
178
00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:38,495
Oh. Well, do you work around here?
179
00:09:40,538 --> 00:09:44,793
Uh, listen, yellow thing,
uh, do you see this star here?
180
00:09:45,794 --> 00:09:48,421
Oh, yes. It's very pretty.
181
00:09:48,505 --> 00:09:51,466
And, uh, do you know why it is there?
182
00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:53,593
-Well, uh...
-Hm? Hm?
183
00:09:53,677 --> 00:09:55,428
Perfect attendance?
184
00:09:57,389 --> 00:10:00,684
Ahem. I am the singing star of this show.
185
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:03,895
A singing pig?! Ha-ha-ha.
186
00:10:03,978 --> 00:10:06,064
That's very funny.
187
00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:08,149
[LAUGHING]
188
00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:10,860
Kiss your feathers goodbye, bird.
189
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,237
Hi-yah!
190
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:14,739
[PIGGY SCREAMS THEN CRASHES]
191
00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:21,996
Oh. You do acrobatics too.
192
00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:25,875
She's very versatile.
193
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:32,048
Oh, Leslie, it's really a pleasure
to have you on the show with us.
194
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:33,299
Well, thank you, Lew.
195
00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:36,428
It's a thrill for me to work
with a boomerang-fish thrower.
196
00:10:36,511 --> 00:10:38,847
Well, I should think so.
197
00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:43,935
Listen, Lew, what does it take
to become a great boomerang-fish thrower?
198
00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:45,729
Well, you gotta have sole.
199
00:10:47,022 --> 00:10:49,733
And if you can't get sole, use halibut.
200
00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:52,402
I should have guessed.
201
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:55,238
But in that case, I use a catcher's mitt.
202
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:57,866
Why? No, no, no, don't tell me.
Let me guess.
203
00:10:57,949 --> 00:10:59,784
Uh, just for the "halibut"?
204
00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:02,787
See? You're catching on. Hee-hee-hee.
205
00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:05,915
Listen, how did you acquire this talent?
Was it an accident?
206
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,917
No, it was on "porpoise."
207
00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:13,548
I give him the straight lines,
and he gives me the fish lines.
208
00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:15,050
Yeah.
209
00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:17,552
You know,
I started this act using kippers.
210
00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:20,972
My brother and I did the act together,
but we split up.
211
00:11:21,056 --> 00:11:22,182
-Why?
-Hey.
212
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:25,352
BOTH:
Am I my brother's kipper?
213
00:11:25,435 --> 00:11:27,812
Listen, I gotta quit this
and sing my song.
214
00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:32,233
Oh, great idea.
I'll accompany you on this.
215
00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:36,279
Well, Lew,
I was kind of expecting violins.
216
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:38,114
-Well, what the hey?
-Yeah.
217
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,241
[BAND PLAYING "HERE YOU COME AGAIN"]
218
00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:42,702
♪ Here you come again ♪
219
00:11:42,786 --> 00:11:43,995
[AIR WHISTLING]
220
00:11:44,079 --> 00:11:47,957
♪ Lookin' better than a body
Has a right to ♪
221
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:52,253
♪ And shakin' me up
So that all I really know ♪
222
00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:55,507
♪ Is here you come again ♪
223
00:11:55,590 --> 00:11:58,927
♪ And here I go ♪
224
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:01,763
-Two at once.
-All right.
225
00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:06,559
Ah. Fascinating. Oh, I love this.
226
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:12,315
Whoo! Fun, fun, fun!
227
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:13,692
Watch this one.
228
00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:17,987
♪ All you gotta do is smile that smile ♪
229
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:22,367
♪ And there go all my defenses ♪
230
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:26,329
♪ Leave it up to you
And in a little while ♪
231
00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:28,540
♪ You're messin' up my mind ♪
232
00:12:28,623 --> 00:12:31,292
♪ And fillin' up my senses ♪
233
00:12:31,376 --> 00:12:33,003
♪ Here we go again ♪
234
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:35,588
-Oh, this is fabulous.
-Big swordfish finale.
235
00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:39,259
♪ Lookin' better than a body
Has a right to ♪
236
00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:43,346
♪ And shakin' me up
So that all I really know ♪
237
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,724
♪ Is here you come again ♪
238
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:50,770
♪ And here I go ♪
239
00:12:50,854 --> 00:12:51,896
[YELLS]
240
00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:55,859
♪ And here I go ♪
241
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:57,736
[YELLS]
242
00:12:57,819 --> 00:12:59,529
Ma!
243
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:01,531
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
244
00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:11,166
That reminds me, this show has always
reminded me of a sardine.
245
00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:14,461
-Why?
-It's a little fishy.
246
00:13:14,544 --> 00:13:15,962
-Whoa!
-Whoa!
247
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,215
[PLAYING MAUDLIN LOUNGE MUSIC]]
248
00:13:21,176 --> 00:13:23,928
♪ Mad about the frog ♪
249
00:13:24,012 --> 00:13:28,975
♪ I know it's stupid
To be mad about the frog ♪
250
00:13:29,059 --> 00:13:31,603
♪ I'm so ashamed of it ♪
251
00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:35,732
♪ But must admit the sleepless nights ♪
252
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:38,693
♪ I've had about the frog ♪
253
00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:43,031
♪ On the silver screen, ooh ♪
254
00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:48,244
♪ He melts my foolish heart
In every little scene ♪
255
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:54,084
♪ Although I'm quite aware
That here and there are traces ♪
256
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:57,462
♪ Of the cad about the frog ♪
257
00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:03,093
♪ Lord knows I'm not a fool girl ♪
258
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:06,930
♪ I really shouldn't care ♪
259
00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:11,643
♪ Lord knows I'm not a schoolgirl ♪
260
00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:18,650
♪ In the flurry of her first affair ♪
261
00:14:18,733 --> 00:14:21,152
♪ Will it ever cloy? ♪
262
00:14:22,153 --> 00:14:25,949
♪ This odd diversity of misery and joy ♪
263
00:14:27,492 --> 00:14:31,538
♪ I'm feeling quite insane
And young again ♪
264
00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:33,373
♪ And all because ♪
265
00:14:33,456 --> 00:14:37,544
♪ I'm mad about the frog ♪
266
00:14:54,686 --> 00:14:56,980
♪ Will it ever cloy? ♪
267
00:14:57,063 --> 00:15:02,110
♪ This odd diversity of misery and joy ♪
268
00:15:02,193 --> 00:15:06,239
♪ I'm feeling quite insane
And young again ♪
269
00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:08,450
♪ And all because ♪
270
00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:15,540
♪ I'm mad about that frog ♪
271
00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:26,551
NARRATOR:
And now Bear On Patrol:
272
00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:31,056
FOZZIE:
All right, come on.
273
00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:33,933
-Ooh, ooh, ooh!
-You just come with me, you...
274
00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:36,061
Sir, sergeant, I have just picked up--
275
00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:40,065
In a minute, Patrol Bear.
I have to finish this report.
276
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:46,863
Oh, drat. I made a mistake.
Now I'll have to start all over again.
277
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:50,033
But, sir, can't that report wait?
278
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:52,202
No, this is a very serious charge.
279
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:53,703
-What is it?
-Littering.
280
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:58,875
Sir, this also is a very serious charge.
281
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,543
Oh, yeah? What's the charge?
282
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,170
Impersonating an officer.
283
00:16:02,253 --> 00:16:04,005
Can you prove it?
284
00:16:04,089 --> 00:16:07,717
Of course I can prove it, sergeant.
Go ahead, do your stuff.
285
00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:09,886
Okay, impersonating an officer.
286
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:12,180
[DRUMROLL PLAYS AND SUSPECT CLEARS THROAT]
287
00:16:12,263 --> 00:16:15,141
[IMITATING FOZZIE]
Ah, of course I can prove it, sergeant.
288
00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:18,228
Go ahead, do your stuff. Ah.
289
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:21,398
-Hey, that's not bad.
-[IN NORMAL VOICE] Thank you.
290
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:25,944
Yep. Now, look, sergeant,
this is a very dangerous criminal.
291
00:16:26,027 --> 00:16:27,445
He should be locked up.
292
00:16:27,529 --> 00:16:29,239
I think he should be locked up.
293
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:31,825
Here are the keys.
I'll finish up the report.
294
00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:34,452
I'm going to lock him up.
295
00:16:34,536 --> 00:16:39,082
Yep, I should've known better
than to try to fool with you, Patrol Bear.
296
00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:41,960
Yeah, you're darn tooting.
297
00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:45,964
-After you.
-Thank you.
298
00:16:46,047 --> 00:16:49,926
Listen, tell me what kind of food
you like and I'll--
299
00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:52,053
[CLEARS THROAT]
300
00:16:52,137 --> 00:16:54,055
[IMITATING FOZZIE]
Ah, see you later, sarge.
301
00:16:54,139 --> 00:16:55,640
HOGTHROB:
Right.
302
00:16:58,643 --> 00:17:03,356
Uh... Sergeant, wait a minute.
He locked me in.
303
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:06,943
Not bad.
You sound more like him all the time.
304
00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:08,945
Now try to do me.
305
00:17:09,029 --> 00:17:12,240
Oh, sergeant, you don't understand!
He got away!
306
00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:14,576
No, that's not me.
307
00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:18,580
You still sound like that dumb bear
that brought you in here.
308
00:17:18,663 --> 00:17:21,583
Try it again.
I have a deep, authoritative voice.
309
00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:24,461
Sergeant, will you just turn around,
please?
310
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:28,882
Better, but keep trying.
You need more macho.
311
00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:38,016
Tell me, Gonzo, what is it about Camilla
that first attracted you to her?
312
00:17:38,099 --> 00:17:40,602
Are you kidding? Everything.
313
00:17:40,685 --> 00:17:44,397
She's beautiful, witty, charming,
delightful company,
314
00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:47,776
a good cook, and she's very talented.
315
00:17:47,859 --> 00:17:50,028
Really? What does she do?
316
00:17:50,111 --> 00:17:51,279
Camilla!
317
00:17:51,363 --> 00:17:53,281
[BAND PLAYING FLAMENCO MUSIC]
318
00:17:53,365 --> 00:17:54,908
Arriba! Oy!
319
00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:56,785
[CAMILLA TAP-DANCING]
320
00:17:56,868 --> 00:17:57,952
Cha-cha-cha!
321
00:17:58,036 --> 00:17:59,496
-Oh, wow!
-Yeah.
322
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:02,707
Well, I would've thought
that was impossible.
323
00:18:02,791 --> 00:18:04,709
What, to get a chicken to dance?
324
00:18:04,793 --> 00:18:07,253
No, to find tap shoes for claws.
325
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:14,177
Hello, I am Vendawish.
326
00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:19,557
Deposit a coin,
and I will answer any wish you may have.
327
00:18:21,309 --> 00:18:22,602
[COIN CLINKS]
328
00:18:22,686 --> 00:18:27,273
Thank you. Now please state your wish,
and I will grant it.
329
00:18:27,357 --> 00:18:29,317
Oh, I wish I was taller.
330
00:18:29,401 --> 00:18:30,694
-Taller.
-Yeah.
331
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:32,654
[WHIRS THEN BEEPS]
332
00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:34,823
[MAN GRUNTING]
333
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:44,499
Next.
334
00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:48,169
-Camilla, I have written a song for you.
-Aw.
335
00:18:48,253 --> 00:18:52,757
Oh, Sinatra or Mick Jagger
will probably wanna record it.
336
00:18:52,841 --> 00:18:54,718
But I want you to hear it from me first.
337
00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:56,636
Aw. Bock.
338
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,805
[PLAYING TENDER POP MUSIC]
339
00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:05,270
♪ You alone
You are my one and only chicken ♪
340
00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:07,355
♪ Steady ♪
341
00:19:07,439 --> 00:19:09,774
♪ Cluck, cluck ♪
342
00:19:09,858 --> 00:19:13,737
♪ And if you leave
I will alone and lonely sicken ♪
343
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,613
♪ Ready ♪
344
00:19:15,697 --> 00:19:18,324
♪ Cluck, cluck ♪
345
00:19:18,408 --> 00:19:21,161
♪ You and I ♪
346
00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:25,040
♪ We're a team and that's a fact ♪
347
00:19:25,123 --> 00:19:26,458
CAMILLA:
♪ Cluck, cluck ♪
348
00:19:26,541 --> 00:19:30,295
-♪ You and I ♪
-♪ Cluck, cluck ♪
349
00:19:31,546 --> 00:19:35,050
♪ What a terrific idea for an act ♪
350
00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:39,220
Oh, listen to the rhymes in the chorus.
It's very Cole Porter-y.
351
00:19:39,304 --> 00:19:40,388
♪ Camilla ♪
352
00:19:41,556 --> 00:19:43,725
♪ You're sweeter than wine or vanilla ♪
353
00:19:43,808 --> 00:19:44,934
♪ Camilla ♪
354
00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:47,103
[GIGGLING]
355
00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:52,317
♪ Come lie beneath this tree
It's a willa ♪
356
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:53,526
♪ Camilla ♪
357
00:19:53,610 --> 00:19:56,821
♪ Cluck, cluck, cluck ♪
358
00:19:56,905 --> 00:19:58,782
♪ Camilla ♪
359
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:00,992
♪ The night it grows stilla and stilla ♪
360
00:20:01,076 --> 00:20:02,202
♪ Camilla ♪
361
00:20:02,285 --> 00:20:05,163
♪ Cluck, cluck, cluck ♪
362
00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:08,583
♪ You're prettier by far than Godzilla ♪
363
00:20:08,667 --> 00:20:09,709
[CAMILLA GIGGLES]
364
00:20:09,793 --> 00:20:11,169
♪ Camilla ♪
365
00:20:13,004 --> 00:20:14,339
Who are you?
366
00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:16,216
Huh? Me?
367
00:20:16,299 --> 00:20:21,054
-Wow! Perfection incarnate! Wow!
-Oh.
368
00:20:21,137 --> 00:20:25,266
Statuesque and yet still poultry
in every sense.
369
00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:27,352
[MUTTERING]
370
00:20:28,478 --> 00:20:31,773
You have that one thing
lacking in chickens.
371
00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:33,775
Ahh. Bulk.
372
00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:36,444
I'm so confused.
373
00:20:36,528 --> 00:20:39,155
You are so huge.
374
00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:40,990
-Ugh.
-Well, I have no idea
375
00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:43,159
what you're talking about, sir.
376
00:20:43,243 --> 00:20:45,328
I was just looking for Miss Uggams.
377
00:20:45,412 --> 00:20:47,247
And you found me.
378
00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:50,291
Lady Luck has smiled and showered us
379
00:20:50,375 --> 00:20:52,669
with that certain thing called--
380
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:57,132
Flowerpot.
381
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:02,262
[SCOFFS THEN MUTTERS]
382
00:21:02,345 --> 00:21:04,014
Oh, please, Dr. Honeydew,
383
00:21:04,097 --> 00:21:06,349
I can't go through life
with this long neck.
384
00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:08,685
Never fear. At Muppet Labs,
385
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:12,647
we have done extensive research
on shortening long necks.
386
00:21:12,731 --> 00:21:14,733
-Then you can help?
-Of course.
387
00:21:14,816 --> 00:21:17,694
This is our latest therapy technique.
388
00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:20,905
[GRUNTS]
389
00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:25,410
[SIGHS THEN THUDS]
390
00:21:25,493 --> 00:21:28,455
Don't thank me. It's all in a day's work.
391
00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:31,791
[GRUNTS]
392
00:21:31,875 --> 00:21:34,502
Please, Dr. Honeydew,
don't leave a mess backstage.
393
00:21:34,586 --> 00:21:36,796
If you're through playing with him,
put him away.
394
00:21:38,506 --> 00:21:40,675
[TRUMPETS PLAY FANFARE]
395
00:21:40,759 --> 00:21:43,887
And now, once again,
here is our very special guest,
396
00:21:43,970 --> 00:21:46,723
who will be joined
by a very tall feathered friend
397
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:48,475
who just wandered in off the street.
398
00:21:48,558 --> 00:21:50,852
Uh, Sesame Street, to be precise.
399
00:21:50,935 --> 00:21:54,272
Ladies and gentlemen,
Big Bird and Leslie Uggams.
400
00:21:54,356 --> 00:21:57,359
[BAND PLAYING
"LOVE WILL KEEP US TOGETHER"]
401
00:22:26,888 --> 00:22:28,181
-♪ Stop ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Stop ♪
402
00:22:28,264 --> 00:22:30,141
♪ 'Cause I really love you ♪
403
00:22:30,225 --> 00:22:31,476
-♪ Stop ♪
-♪ Stop ♪
404
00:22:31,559 --> 00:22:33,853
♪ I've been thinking of you ♪
405
00:22:33,937 --> 00:22:36,773
ALL:
♪ Look in my heart and let love ♪
406
00:22:36,856 --> 00:22:40,276
♪ Keep us together ♪
407
00:22:44,781 --> 00:22:46,533
♪ Love ♪
408
00:22:46,616 --> 00:22:49,911
♪ Love will keep us together ♪
409
00:22:49,994 --> 00:22:52,497
♪ Think of me, babe, whenever ♪
410
00:22:53,665 --> 00:22:57,210
♪ Some sweet-talking bird comes along ♪
411
00:22:57,293 --> 00:22:59,087
♪ Singing his song ♪
412
00:22:59,170 --> 00:23:02,257
♪ Don't mess around
We just got to be strong ♪
413
00:23:02,340 --> 00:23:04,134
-♪ Just stop ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Stop ♪
414
00:23:04,217 --> 00:23:06,386
♪ 'Cause I really love you ♪
415
00:23:06,469 --> 00:23:07,554
-♪ Stop ♪
-♪ Stop ♪
416
00:23:07,637 --> 00:23:10,098
♪ I'll be thinking of you ♪
417
00:23:10,181 --> 00:23:12,851
ALL:
♪ Look in my heart and let love ♪
418
00:23:12,934 --> 00:23:17,063
♪ Keep us together ♪
419
00:23:17,147 --> 00:23:19,107
♪ Whatever ♪
420
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:42,630
♪ You ♪
421
00:23:42,714 --> 00:23:46,676
♪ You belong to me now ♪
422
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:49,929
♪ Ain't gonna set you free now ♪
423
00:23:50,013 --> 00:23:53,516
♪ When those birds start hanging around ♪
424
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:55,435
♪ Talking me down ♪
425
00:23:55,518 --> 00:23:58,396
♪ Hear with your heart
And you won't hear a sound ♪
426
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:00,190
-♪ Just stop ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Stop ♪
427
00:24:00,273 --> 00:24:02,150
♪ 'Cause I really love you ♪
428
00:24:02,233 --> 00:24:03,651
-♪ Stop ♪
-♪ Stop ♪
429
00:24:03,735 --> 00:24:05,987
♪ I'll be thinking of you ♪
430
00:24:06,071 --> 00:24:08,948
ALL:
♪ Look in my heart and let love ♪
431
00:24:09,032 --> 00:24:12,952
♪ Keep us together ♪
432
00:24:13,036 --> 00:24:16,498
♪ Whatever ♪
433
00:24:16,581 --> 00:24:22,629
♪ Together ♪
434
00:24:24,547 --> 00:24:27,550
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING AND CHEERING]
435
00:24:36,434 --> 00:24:39,896
Well, I think we've just about come down
to the end of another one,
436
00:24:39,979 --> 00:24:42,691
but before we go,
let us have a warm thank you
437
00:24:42,774 --> 00:24:45,902
for our very special guest star,
the lovely Leslie Uggams!
438
00:24:45,985 --> 00:24:47,779
[CHEERS]
439
00:24:47,862 --> 00:24:49,781
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
440
00:24:53,076 --> 00:24:54,202
Thank you, Kermit.
441
00:24:54,285 --> 00:24:56,371
Listen, chickie babe,
you gotta forgive me.
442
00:24:56,454 --> 00:24:58,790
I'll never talk to another chicken again.
443
00:24:58,873 --> 00:24:59,916
[CLUCKS]
444
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:01,459
Oh, hi, Camilla. Aah!
445
00:25:01,543 --> 00:25:02,627
Camilla!
446
00:25:02,711 --> 00:25:04,963
Gonzo, you're quite a shocker.
447
00:25:05,046 --> 00:25:07,465
I thought that Camilla
was your one true love.
448
00:25:07,549 --> 00:25:11,678
Oh, yeah. Uh, well, uh,
chickens all look the same to me.
449
00:25:11,761 --> 00:25:13,513
[CHICKENS SQUAWK]
450
00:25:13,596 --> 00:25:15,682
[GONZO YELPING]
451
00:25:15,765 --> 00:25:17,058
Ahem. Girls, please.
452
00:25:17,142 --> 00:25:20,478
Well, I'd like to thank
a really different-looking chicken,
453
00:25:20,562 --> 00:25:22,439
Big Bird from Sesame Street.
454
00:25:22,522 --> 00:25:26,443
Oh, thank you, thank you.
It's been really fun.
455
00:25:26,526 --> 00:25:28,778
And we'll see you next time
on The Muppet Show.
456
00:25:28,862 --> 00:25:30,947
[ALL CHATTERING]
457
00:25:31,031 --> 00:25:33,116
[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
458
00:26:12,530 --> 00:26:15,283
Have we ever said
that this show is for the birds?
459
00:26:15,367 --> 00:26:18,036
Yes, and we'll keep saying it
till it gets a laugh.
460
00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:19,496
[ALL LAUGH]
33684
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