All language subtitles for The Muppet Show S03E10 Guest Marisa Berenson 1080p DSNP WEB-DL AAC2 0 H 264-LAZY_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,667 --> 00:00:02,293 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 2 00:00:02,377 --> 00:00:05,547 Oh, Marisa Berenson, 35 seconds to curtain, Miss Berenson. 3 00:00:05,630 --> 00:00:07,382 Oh. Thank you. 4 00:00:07,465 --> 00:00:10,885 Oh, Scooter, who does all this luggage belong to? 5 00:00:10,969 --> 00:00:14,055 Oh, didn't you know? It's a gift to you from the show. 6 00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:15,348 Now, wait a minute. 7 00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:17,684 This isn't some kind of weird Muppet luggage 8 00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:22,313 that's gonna blow up or turn into cheese like everything else on this strange show? 9 00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:24,899 No, no, no, it's just regular alligator luggage. 10 00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:26,026 Oh, good. 11 00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:27,610 [LUGGAGE GROWLING] 12 00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:28,903 Oh, oh, no! 13 00:00:35,326 --> 00:00:36,661 It's The Muppet Show, 14 00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:41,041 with our very special guest star, Marisa Berenson. 15 00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:44,169 [BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC] 16 00:00:55,513 --> 00:00:57,390 ♪ It's time to play the music ♪ 17 00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:59,517 ♪ It's time to light the lights ♪ 18 00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:03,772 ♪ It's time to meet the Muppets On The Muppet Show tonight ♪ 19 00:01:03,855 --> 00:01:06,066 ♪ It's time to put on makeup ♪ 20 00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:08,276 ♪ It's time to dress up right ♪ 21 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:10,195 ♪ It's time to get things started ♪ 22 00:01:10,278 --> 00:01:12,489 ♪ Why don't you get things started? ♪ 23 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,240 Why don't we leave? 24 00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:15,992 Where would we go? 25 00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:21,373 ♪ It's time to get things started On the most sensational, inspirational ♪ 26 00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:23,625 ♪ Celebrational, Muppetational ♪ 27 00:01:23,708 --> 00:01:26,419 ♪ This is what we call ♪ 28 00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:31,299 ♪ The Muppet Show ♪ 29 00:01:31,383 --> 00:01:33,385 [HORN SQUEALS] 30 00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:40,016 Thank you, thank you, and welcome again to The Muppet Show, 31 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:43,728 where tonight's special guest star is the beautiful international film star 32 00:01:43,812 --> 00:01:45,647 Miss Marisa Berenson. 33 00:01:45,730 --> 00:01:49,818 But first, on our show we've done traditional dances from many countries, 34 00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:51,319 but never Russia. 35 00:01:51,403 --> 00:01:54,614 Well, tonight their luck has run out. 36 00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:56,783 [BAND PLAYING SOMBER FOLK MUSIC] 37 00:01:58,868 --> 00:02:00,954 [ALL SINGING IN GIBBERISH] 38 00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:34,654 ALL: Hey! 39 00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:36,823 [BAND PLAYING LIVELY FOLK MUSIC] 40 00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:47,542 [CRASHES] 41 00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:50,003 [ALL CONTINUE SINGING IN GIBBERISH] 42 00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:00,972 ALL: Hey! 43 00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:03,141 [PIGS CLAPPING] 44 00:03:08,104 --> 00:03:10,774 ALL: Hey! Hey! 45 00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:13,151 Hey! Hey! 46 00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:15,445 Hey! Hey! 47 00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:17,280 Hey! Hey! Hey! 48 00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:26,206 Hey! Hey! 49 00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:28,541 [ALL YELL] 50 00:03:33,254 --> 00:03:35,423 Well, there goes détente. 51 00:03:35,507 --> 00:03:36,883 Where? 52 00:03:36,966 --> 00:03:38,343 Never mind. 53 00:03:39,135 --> 00:03:41,388 Okay, get on-stage, jugglers. 54 00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:42,514 Way to go, gang. 55 00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:44,933 Nothing like a good old-fashioned Russian pig dance. 56 00:03:45,016 --> 00:03:50,397 Ooh, boy, if you like that act, you're gonna love mine. 57 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:51,648 Well, who are you? 58 00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:55,485 Lew Zealand and His Boomerang Fish Act. 59 00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:56,695 Whoo! 60 00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:59,572 Uh, Lew Zealand and His Boomerang Fish Act? 61 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:02,784 Oh, yeah. Hey, it's razzle-dazzle. 62 00:04:02,867 --> 00:04:06,329 Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not booking any highbrow acts just now. 63 00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:09,416 Hmm. Well, think about it, okay? 64 00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:10,667 [SNIFFS] 65 00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:13,503 Come on, Seymour, you need a bath. 66 00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:17,340 Oh, Kermie, Kermie, Kermie, 67 00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:20,260 thank you for putting me in charge of the closing sketch. 68 00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:22,846 -Mm-hm. -You just cannot say no to me, can you? 69 00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:25,974 Well, I can, but it hurts a lot. 70 00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:27,434 Is that the sketch there? 71 00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:29,019 Mm-hm, yes, it is, yes. 72 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:30,311 Well, tell me about it. 73 00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:32,731 -Uh, it's a secret. -What? 74 00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:34,691 Well, I'll tell you the title. 75 00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:37,610 Okay, what is the title of the closing sketch? 76 00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:40,155 "The Wedding." 77 00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:41,740 -"The Wedding." -Mm-hm. 78 00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:47,454 Oh, you see, you're the groom, and moi am the bride. 79 00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:50,123 Isn't that a silly idea? Isn't that funny? 80 00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:52,083 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 81 00:04:52,167 --> 00:04:53,251 Maybe. 82 00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:57,964 Oh, Kermie! Oh, it shall be so wonderful. 83 00:04:58,048 --> 00:05:00,091 Uh, funny. Funny, I mean. Funny. 84 00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:02,510 Mwah, mwah, mwah. 85 00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:06,056 Oh, boy. Uh, Kermit's kind of busy just now. Ahem. 86 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:09,601 Ladies and gentlemen, our very special guest star, 87 00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:14,356 the lovely and talented Marisa Berenson. 88 00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:17,150 [BAND PLAYING MYSTERIOUS CLASSICAL MUSIC] 89 00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:13,535 Did you like that number? 90 00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:15,787 [SHOUTING] Speak up. My hearing aid's busted. 91 00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:17,789 [SHOUTING] Did you like that number? 92 00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:19,457 I liked what I heard. 93 00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:21,001 What did you hear? 94 00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:22,544 "Did you like that number?" 95 00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:23,962 Oy! 96 00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:28,049 I tell you, it's terrific. 97 00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:32,512 Yeah, you see, I throw the fish into the air, 98 00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:37,600 they sail away, and then they come back to me. 99 00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:40,895 Yeah, but I don't care about boomerang fish acts. 100 00:08:40,979 --> 00:08:44,274 Oh, you will. They're coming back. 101 00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:47,152 Oh, Miss Piggy. 102 00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:49,487 Oh. Um, yes, hello, Kermie. 103 00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:50,989 Piggy, come back here. 104 00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:55,744 Oh, Kermie, how aggressive and manly you sound. 105 00:08:55,827 --> 00:08:57,328 Never mind the sweet talk. 106 00:08:57,412 --> 00:08:59,497 I wanna know more about this wedding sketch. 107 00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:01,499 -Oh. -I've gotta learn my lines. 108 00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:04,169 Well, you only have one line. 109 00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:05,295 I do? 110 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,088 Exactly. 111 00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:08,923 Uh, that's not what I mean! 112 00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:11,801 Besides, the thing you forgot is that I don't! 113 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:16,056 Heh, Kermie, it's just a simple comedy sketch. 114 00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:18,725 Oh, yeah, well, I know that. 115 00:09:19,601 --> 00:09:22,729 Heh, a comedy sketch, Kermie. 116 00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:27,734 It's not as if he were a real minister, heh. 117 00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:30,945 Now, you are a real minister, right? 118 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:38,370 Hello, sports fans, this is Louis Kazagger 119 00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:42,415 welcoming you to the wild world of Muppet sports. 120 00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:47,545 Today finds us at the National Wig Racing Championships. 121 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,548 Wig racing? 122 00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:51,966 Uh-huh. 123 00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:54,928 Well, luckily, I have one of the trainers here, 124 00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:57,138 who may be able to explain. 125 00:09:57,222 --> 00:09:59,182 Uh, yes, sir. 126 00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:02,352 Today is my first time out wig racing, sir, 127 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,854 or do you call this a "derby"? 128 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:09,776 No, sir, this is a wig. This is a derby. 129 00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:13,071 Uh, does the wig have a name? 130 00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:16,074 I call this wig Greased Lightning. 131 00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:17,450 Because it's speedy? 132 00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:19,619 No, because it's greasy. 133 00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:22,664 Don't you use a shampoo? 134 00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:27,085 No, sir, I do not use sham poo for my wigs. 135 00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:28,878 Only use real poo. 136 00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:31,297 Nothing but the best poo for my wigs. 137 00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:32,424 [WHISTLE BLOWS] 138 00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:37,762 Oh, wow. That whistle means that the wigs are on the blocks. 139 00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:40,098 [FANFARE PLAYING ON TRUMPET] 140 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:43,643 LOUIS: And they're off! 141 00:10:43,727 --> 00:10:45,895 [DOGS BARKING] 142 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:51,651 Mine's off! Hey! What are you doing? 143 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,739 [PLAYING MELANCHOLY JAZZ MUSIC] 144 00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:03,288 ♪ There's a somebody I'm longing to see ♪ 145 00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:10,295 ♪ I hope that she Turns out to be ♪ 146 00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:17,510 ♪ Someone who'll watch over me ♪ 147 00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:24,309 ♪ I'm a little frog Who's lost in a wood ♪ 148 00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:30,106 ♪ I know I could Always be good ♪ 149 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:36,613 ♪ To one who'll watch over me ♪ 150 00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:40,909 ♪ Although I may not be the man ♪ 151 00:11:40,992 --> 00:11:45,538 ♪ Some girls think of as handsome ♪ 152 00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:52,921 ♪ To my heart she carries the key ♪ 153 00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:59,803 ♪ Won't you tell her, please To put on some speed? ♪ 154 00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:03,014 ♪ Follow my lead ♪ 155 00:12:03,098 --> 00:12:07,602 ♪ Oh, how I need ♪ 156 00:12:07,686 --> 00:12:14,984 ♪ Someone who'll watch over me ♪ 157 00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:37,799 ♪ Won't you tell her, please To put on some speed? ♪ 158 00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:40,510 ♪ Follow my lead ♪ 159 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:44,305 ♪ Oh, how I need ♪ 160 00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:48,685 ♪ Someone to watch ♪ 161 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:54,524 ♪ Over me ♪ 162 00:12:58,778 --> 00:12:59,904 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 163 00:12:59,988 --> 00:13:01,990 PIGGY: What is it?! 164 00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:05,118 Oh, Miss Piggy, do you need any help? 165 00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:06,786 PIGGY: Uh... 166 00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:10,957 -Oh, Marisa. Well, just a moment. -What a beautiful bridal gown. 167 00:13:11,041 --> 00:13:14,961 Mm-hm. Yes, well, it's a traditional wedding, you see. 168 00:13:15,045 --> 00:13:17,213 Something old, something new, 169 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:19,799 something borrowed and something green. 170 00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:26,056 Sounds like a real wedding to me, rather than a sketch. 171 00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:30,643 Oh. Well, it's, um... It's a realistic sketch, mm-hm. 172 00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:33,772 -Is it, hmm? -Um, Marisa? 173 00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:34,898 Yes, dear? 174 00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:37,984 Would you be a dear? Would you lace me up? 175 00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:40,362 -Well, of course. -Yes. 176 00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:42,781 That's it. Tighter, dear. 177 00:13:42,864 --> 00:13:44,324 -Tighter? -Mm-hm. 178 00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:45,825 -Tighter. -Tighter? 179 00:13:45,909 --> 00:13:48,286 I gotta go down three sizes. 180 00:13:48,370 --> 00:13:50,372 You're going through an awful lot of trouble. 181 00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:52,207 -How long does this sketch last? -Unh. 182 00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:54,292 Till death do us part. 183 00:13:54,376 --> 00:13:55,835 Oh, my... 184 00:13:55,919 --> 00:13:59,798 All right, now, listen, kid, just, on the count of three, pull. 185 00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:03,051 Ready? One, two, ahh, three! 186 00:14:03,134 --> 00:14:05,553 [PIGGY SCREAMING] 187 00:14:05,637 --> 00:14:08,264 Oh, Marisa, you're wanted on-stage in a minute. 188 00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,684 Oh, my goodness, I've got to get dressed. Hold these. 189 00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:11,976 [PIGGY SCREAMS] 190 00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:14,312 [CRASHING] 191 00:14:20,318 --> 00:14:23,029 -Is your hearing aid fixed? -No. 192 00:14:23,113 --> 00:14:25,323 -Then how do you know what I'm saying? -I don't. 193 00:14:25,407 --> 00:14:26,449 Oh. 194 00:14:27,492 --> 00:14:29,577 [BAND PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC] 195 00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:35,125 ♪ Doe, a deer, a female deer ♪ 196 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:38,837 ♪ Ray, a drop of golden sun ♪ 197 00:14:39,421 --> 00:14:43,174 ♪ Me, a name I call myself ♪ 198 00:14:43,258 --> 00:14:46,678 ♪ Far, a long, long way to run ♪ 199 00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:50,515 ♪ Sew, a needle pulling thread ♪ 200 00:14:51,016 --> 00:14:54,769 ♪ La, a note to follow so ♪ 201 00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:57,814 ♪ Tea, a drink with jam and bread ♪ 202 00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:00,608 FOZZIE: Me? 203 00:15:00,692 --> 00:15:04,029 ♪ Me, a name I call myself ♪ 204 00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:08,199 ♪ Far, a long, long way to run ♪ 205 00:15:08,283 --> 00:15:11,828 ♪ Sew, a needle pulling thread ♪ 206 00:15:12,287 --> 00:15:15,999 ♪ La, a note to follow so ♪ 207 00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:18,960 ♪ Tea, a drink with jam and bread ♪ 208 00:15:19,044 --> 00:15:20,128 FOZZIE: Now? -Go! 209 00:15:20,211 --> 00:15:23,131 ♪ Go, a gear, a female gear ♪ 210 00:15:23,214 --> 00:15:24,257 No! 211 00:15:24,341 --> 00:15:26,843 ♪ No, a near, a female near ♪ 212 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,553 Oh, what the hey? 213 00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:32,057 ♪ Hay, a hop of holden hun ♪ 214 00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:33,475 Fozzie! 215 00:15:33,558 --> 00:15:35,769 ♪ A name I call myself ♪ 216 00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:38,313 No, it should be Beau. 217 00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:41,566 ♪ Bo, a beer, a female beer ♪ 218 00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:43,068 Will you go away? 219 00:15:43,151 --> 00:15:45,403 ♪ Way, a dwop of wolden wun ♪ 220 00:15:45,487 --> 00:15:46,613 Wait a minute. 221 00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:47,781 [ALL CHATTERING] 222 00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:50,742 You're ruining the whole thing. Now, now, just listen to me. 223 00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:54,996 ♪ Me and my shadow ♪ 224 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:57,499 ALL: ♪ Doe, a deer, a female deer... ♪ 225 00:15:57,582 --> 00:15:59,167 KERMIT: Hold it! Wait a second! 226 00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:01,753 Come on, you're ruining the whole song! 227 00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:03,922 [ALL CHATTERING] 228 00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:09,969 [STAMMERS] 229 00:16:10,053 --> 00:16:13,890 And now, uh, to bring a note of culture to the show... 230 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,433 Is the set changed yet? 231 00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:16,726 MUPPET: Yeah, it's okay, frog. 232 00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:22,524 Okay, here is the lovely and talented Miss Marisa Berenson. 233 00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:24,693 [BAND PLAYING UPBEAT FOLK MUSIC] 234 00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:35,995 ♪ Well, a man came to our house Our house, our house ♪ 235 00:16:36,079 --> 00:16:39,916 ♪ A man came to our house To sell us some brooms ♪ 236 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:44,045 ♪ So we asked him to come in And we hit him with a hammer ♪ 237 00:16:44,129 --> 00:16:48,174 ♪ And we hid him in the closet In my father's room ♪ 238 00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:52,762 BOTH: ♪ But you're always welcome At our house ♪ 239 00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:56,224 ♪ Any time of the day ♪ 240 00:16:56,307 --> 00:17:00,395 ♪ Yes, you're always welcome At our house ♪ 241 00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:03,732 ♪ And we hope you will stay ♪ 242 00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:13,408 ♪ Then a lady came to our house Our house, our house ♪ 243 00:17:13,491 --> 00:17:16,995 ♪ A lady came to find out Why I was not in school ♪ 244 00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:21,541 ♪ So we asked her to come in And we gave her some poison lemonade ♪ 245 00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:25,253 ♪ And hid her in the freezer Where it's nice and cool ♪ 246 00:17:25,337 --> 00:17:29,716 ALL: ♪ But you're always welcome At our house ♪ 247 00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:33,303 ♪ Any time of the day ♪ 248 00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:37,515 ♪ Yes, you're always welcome At our house ♪ 249 00:17:37,599 --> 00:17:40,727 ♪ And we hope you will stay ♪ 250 00:17:46,024 --> 00:17:50,445 ♪ Then a kid came into our yard Our yard, our yard ♪ 251 00:17:50,528 --> 00:17:54,157 ♪ A kid came into our yard To get his ball ♪ 252 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:58,244 ♪ So we asked him to come in And we took him in the basement ♪ 253 00:17:58,328 --> 00:18:02,040 ♪ And we sealed him up inside The basement wall ♪ 254 00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:06,836 ALL: ♪ But you're always welcome At our house ♪ 255 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:10,548 ♪ Any time of the day ♪ 256 00:18:10,632 --> 00:18:14,803 ♪ Yes, you're always welcome At our house ♪ 257 00:18:14,886 --> 00:18:18,473 ♪ And we hope you will stay ♪ 258 00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:27,816 ♪ So when you come to our house Our house, our house ♪ 259 00:18:27,899 --> 00:18:31,528 ♪ When you come to our house We will have some fun ♪ 260 00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:35,657 ♪ We will ask you to come in And we will take you in the kitchen ♪ 261 00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:39,452 ♪ We will put you in the oven Until you are done ♪ 262 00:18:39,536 --> 00:18:44,374 ALL: ♪ But you're always welcome At our house ♪ 263 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:48,044 ♪ Any time of the day ♪ 264 00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:52,215 ♪ Yes, you're always welcome At our house ♪ 265 00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:56,511 ♪ And we hope you will stay ♪ 266 00:18:56,594 --> 00:18:58,304 ♪ And we know ♪ 267 00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:02,058 ♪ You will stay ♪ 268 00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:19,242 [SINGING IN GIBBERISH] 269 00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:21,786 Yeah, one liver sandwich. 270 00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:24,330 Chef! Why, that's beautiful! 271 00:19:24,414 --> 00:19:27,292 [SPEAKING IN GIBBERISH] 272 00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:29,794 You know, I take one look at this wedding cake 273 00:19:29,878 --> 00:19:31,338 and I feel like crying. 274 00:19:31,421 --> 00:19:32,547 Heaven knows why. 275 00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:34,132 [SPEAKING IN GIBBERISH] 276 00:19:34,215 --> 00:19:35,800 ...the cake and the onions. 277 00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:37,886 -You what? -Onions. 278 00:19:37,969 --> 00:19:39,679 Raw onions in a wedding cake? 279 00:19:39,763 --> 00:19:43,933 Oh, yeah, onions very good for the sinuses. 280 00:19:44,017 --> 00:19:46,186 -Yeah, clears the head. -Yeah. 281 00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:48,438 This cake will clear the church! 282 00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:49,606 [CHEF HUMMING] 283 00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:50,732 [FLIES BUZZING] 284 00:19:50,815 --> 00:19:53,485 Oh, curse these flies. 285 00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:56,780 They get all over the food. 286 00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:59,866 -Hey, what about my sandwich? -Ah, here it is. 287 00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:03,912 Great. Oh, liver sandwich. And, say, I'd like something on the side. 288 00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:06,831 Well, there already is something on the side. 289 00:20:06,915 --> 00:20:08,083 Ah. 290 00:20:10,251 --> 00:20:12,212 Mm, mm. 291 00:20:12,295 --> 00:20:13,672 Yuck! 292 00:20:13,755 --> 00:20:18,218 Yeah, aside from the raw onions, it's a nice cake, Chef. 293 00:20:18,301 --> 00:20:19,719 [SPEAKING IN GIBBERISH] 294 00:20:19,803 --> 00:20:21,721 ...here is the Piggy bridey. 295 00:20:21,805 --> 00:20:25,058 Mm. I can see it's just as light as a feather. 296 00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:26,351 Yeah. 297 00:20:28,853 --> 00:20:31,731 Oh. Oh. Oh! 298 00:20:34,025 --> 00:20:37,153 Pity we can't say the same for the bride. 299 00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:39,614 [HUMMING] 300 00:20:39,698 --> 00:20:42,659 Hey, hey, come on, let me throw one fish, 301 00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:45,537 just one fish, then you'll see. 302 00:20:45,620 --> 00:20:49,541 Listen, when I book a boomerang fish act on this show, 303 00:20:49,624 --> 00:20:53,003 some very warm places will freeze over. 304 00:20:53,086 --> 00:20:56,006 Thanks a lot! I'll wait over there. 305 00:20:56,089 --> 00:20:57,799 But, uh... 306 00:20:57,882 --> 00:21:00,802 Kermit, there's this dear little old lady in the audience 307 00:21:00,885 --> 00:21:03,430 who wants your autograph for her sick grandson. Sign here. 308 00:21:03,513 --> 00:21:05,390 Oh, okay, yeah. Mm-hm. 309 00:21:05,473 --> 00:21:07,892 Hey, is everything ready for this dumb wedding sketch? 310 00:21:07,976 --> 00:21:10,395 Sure, the set's on-stage, everyone's in costume, 311 00:21:10,478 --> 00:21:13,523 you signed the license-- Uh, you signed the autograph. 312 00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:15,150 -What was that? -Oh, nothing. 313 00:21:15,233 --> 00:21:16,985 Just go ahead, introduce the wedding. 314 00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:18,778 [STAMMERS] 315 00:21:18,862 --> 00:21:20,572 SCOOTER: Go ahead. 316 00:21:20,655 --> 00:21:25,368 Uh, well, today, folks, Miss Piggy has prepared a silly wedding sketch. 317 00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:28,538 -Uh, naturally, it's just for fun and-- -Excuse me. 318 00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:29,664 What is it? 319 00:21:29,748 --> 00:21:30,874 Can we start soon? 320 00:21:30,957 --> 00:21:34,336 I'm saying vespers at Saint Anne's in half an hour. 321 00:21:35,378 --> 00:21:37,005 What? What? 322 00:21:37,088 --> 00:21:39,883 And now the wedding sketch. 323 00:21:39,966 --> 00:21:42,052 [ROWLF PLAYING HYMN] 324 00:21:56,900 --> 00:21:58,818 [SIGHING] 325 00:21:58,902 --> 00:22:02,113 Oh, Marisa, do I look all right? 326 00:22:02,197 --> 00:22:03,948 You look radiant, my dear. 327 00:22:04,032 --> 00:22:05,325 Oh! 328 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:09,245 [WHIMPERING] 329 00:22:13,333 --> 00:22:15,418 [ROWLF PLAYING WEDDING MARCH] 330 00:22:29,265 --> 00:22:31,643 Uh, you sure this is gonna be funny? 331 00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:34,604 Trust me. 332 00:22:35,855 --> 00:22:39,734 Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today 333 00:22:39,818 --> 00:22:46,199 to join this pig and this frog in holy wedlock. 334 00:22:48,201 --> 00:22:51,287 I guess everyone cries at weddings. 335 00:22:51,371 --> 00:22:53,707 [LAUGHING] 336 00:22:53,790 --> 00:22:55,709 No, cries at weddings. 337 00:22:55,792 --> 00:22:56,876 Oh. 338 00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:59,045 [SOBBING] 339 00:23:00,338 --> 00:23:02,257 If there is anyone present 340 00:23:02,340 --> 00:23:07,512 who knows why this pig and this frog should not be joined in matrimony, 341 00:23:07,595 --> 00:23:13,184 let him speak now or forever hold his peace. 342 00:23:15,645 --> 00:23:17,981 [ALL MURMURING] 343 00:23:23,862 --> 00:23:25,739 Do it! 344 00:23:27,449 --> 00:23:30,160 Do you, Piggy, take this frog 345 00:23:30,243 --> 00:23:33,872 to be your lawfully wedded husband? 346 00:23:35,206 --> 00:23:36,291 [SIGHS] 347 00:23:36,374 --> 00:23:38,793 I do. 348 00:23:39,836 --> 00:23:42,630 And do you, Kermit, take this pig 349 00:23:42,714 --> 00:23:46,092 to be your lawfully wedded wife? 350 00:23:48,845 --> 00:23:50,597 I... 351 00:23:53,099 --> 00:23:54,976 I... 352 00:23:57,645 --> 00:23:59,189 I wanna introduce to you 353 00:23:59,272 --> 00:24:02,734 the amazing Lew Zealand and His Boomerang Fish! Yeah! 354 00:24:02,817 --> 00:24:04,944 [BAND PLAYING VAUDEVILLE MUSIC] 355 00:24:05,028 --> 00:24:07,113 [ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY] 356 00:24:08,865 --> 00:24:11,034 [WAYNE SINGING ARIA] 357 00:24:29,469 --> 00:24:31,471 This is a comedy sketch after all. 358 00:24:31,554 --> 00:24:32,847 Well, it is now. 359 00:24:32,931 --> 00:24:35,725 PIGGY: Where is he? Kermit! 360 00:24:35,809 --> 00:24:40,230 We'll see if you laugh with a flipper crammed down your throat! 361 00:24:40,313 --> 00:24:42,565 [KERMIT & PIGGY SCREAM] 362 00:24:44,275 --> 00:24:47,070 Close the curtains! We're done! 363 00:24:47,153 --> 00:24:50,073 MINISTER: Huh? What is this closed curtain? 364 00:24:50,156 --> 00:24:53,535 Uh, and so we come to the finish of Miss Piggy's wedding sketch. 365 00:24:53,618 --> 00:24:56,413 PIGGY: That's not the finish. This is the finish. 366 00:24:56,496 --> 00:24:58,248 Hi-yah! 367 00:24:58,331 --> 00:25:00,417 [CRASHING] 368 00:25:03,545 --> 00:25:08,091 Well, time seems to be running out, not only for the show but for me. Ahem. 369 00:25:08,174 --> 00:25:09,801 So let us quickly welcome back 370 00:25:09,884 --> 00:25:12,262 the lovely and talented Miss Marisa Berenson! 371 00:25:12,345 --> 00:25:14,014 [CHEERS] 372 00:25:18,309 --> 00:25:20,020 -Thank you, Kermit. PIGGY: Kermit! 373 00:25:20,103 --> 00:25:24,357 Uh, Marisa, I'm gonna have to rush. Would you mind saying good night for me? 374 00:25:24,441 --> 00:25:25,692 -Me? -Mm-hm. 375 00:25:25,775 --> 00:25:26,818 How exciting. 376 00:25:26,901 --> 00:25:29,863 Exciting? Marisa, you ain't seen nothing yet! 377 00:25:29,946 --> 00:25:31,406 [KERMIT & PIGGY SCREAM] 378 00:25:31,489 --> 00:25:34,451 -What do I say? -Just say "We'll see you next time..." 379 00:25:34,534 --> 00:25:36,036 PIGGY: Kermit! 380 00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:38,329 -We'll see you next time... -"On The Muppet Show." 381 00:25:38,413 --> 00:25:39,581 Gotcha! 382 00:25:39,664 --> 00:25:42,000 ...on The Muppet Show. 383 00:25:42,083 --> 00:25:43,626 [ALL CHATTERING] 384 00:25:43,710 --> 00:25:45,795 [BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC] 385 00:26:19,245 --> 00:26:23,708 If you guys let me hide here, I'll give you tickets to next week's show. 386 00:26:25,877 --> 00:26:27,212 [KERMIT CRASHES] 27848

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