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[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
2
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Elton John? Uh, Elton John?
Fifteen seconds to curtain, Mr. John.
3
00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:11,469
It's great to be here.
Even my lunch likes me.
4
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Oh, Elton! Elton, I love you!
Elton, I love you!
5
00:00:18,601 --> 00:00:23,440
It's The Muppet Show, with our
special guest star, Mr. Elton John!
6
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[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
7
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♪ It's time to play the music ♪
8
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♪ It's time to light the lights ♪
9
00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:45,295
♪ It's time to meet the Muppets
On The Muppet Show tonight ♪
10
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♪ It's time to put on makeup ♪
11
00:00:48,757 --> 00:00:50,800
♪ It's time to dress up right ♪
12
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♪ It's time to get things started ♪
13
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♪ It's time to get things started
On the most sensational, inspirational ♪
14
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♪ Celebrational, Muppetational ♪
15
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♪ This is what we call ♪
16
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♪ The Muppet Show ♪
17
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[HONKING]
18
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[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
19
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Thank you, and welcome to The Muppet Show.
20
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We're going to have a wonderful show.
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We're all very excited
22
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because our guest star is one
of the world's greatest recording stars.
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And here he is now.
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Elton John!
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[CHEERS]
25
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[PLAYING UPBEAT "CROCODILE ROCK"]
26
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♪ I remember when rock was young ♪
27
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♪ Me and Suzie had so much fun ♪
28
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♪ Holding hands and skimming stones ♪
29
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♪ Had an old gold Chevy
And a place of my own ♪
30
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♪ But the biggest kick I ever got ♪
31
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♪ Was doing a thing
Called the Crocodile Rock ♪
32
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♪ While the other kids were rocking
Round the clock ♪
33
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♪ We were hoppin' and boppin'
To the Crocodile Rock ♪
34
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♪ Oh, well, Crocodile Rockin'
Is somethin' shockin'
35
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♪ When your feet just can't keep still ♪
36
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♪ I never knew me a better time
And I guess I never will ♪
37
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♪ Oh, Lordy, Mama, those Friday nights ♪
38
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♪ When Suzie wore her dresses tight ♪
39
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♪ And the Crocodile Rockin'
Was out of sight ♪
40
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CHORUS:
♪ La ♪
41
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♪ La-la-la-la la ♪
42
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♪ La-la-la-la la ♪
43
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♪ La-la-la-la la ♪
44
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♪ But the years went by
And rock just died ♪
45
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♪ Suzie went and left me
For some foreign guy ♪
46
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♪ Long nights crying
By the record machine ♪
47
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♪ Dreaming of my Chevy
And my old blue jeans ♪
48
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♪ But they'll never kill the thrills
We got ♪
49
00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:28,166
♪ Burning up to the Crocodile Rock ♪
50
00:03:28,249 --> 00:03:31,670
♪ Learning fast as the weeks went past ♪
51
00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:35,173
♪ We really thought
The Crocodile Rock would last ♪
52
00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:38,968
♪ Oh, well, Crocodile Rockin'
Is something shockin' ♪
53
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:42,222
♪ When your feet just can't keep still ♪
54
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♪ I never knew me a better time
And I guess I never will ♪
55
00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:53,274
♪ Oh, Lordy, Mama, those Friday nights ♪
56
00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:56,277
♪ When Suzie wore her dresses tight ♪
57
00:03:56,361 --> 00:04:03,034
♪ And the Crocodile Rockin'
Was out of sight ♪
58
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:06,538
CHORUS:
♪ La ♪
59
00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:10,041
♪ La-la-la-la la ♪
60
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♪ La-la-la-la la ♪
61
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♪ La-la-la-la la ♪
62
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[CROCODILES GROWLING]
63
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CHORUS:
♪ La ♪
64
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♪ La-la-la-la la ♪
65
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♪ La-la-la-la la ♪
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No, no, no!
67
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♪ La-la-la-la la ♪
68
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[SCREAMS]
69
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[CROCODILES GROWLING]
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CHORUS:
♪ La-la-la-la la ♪
71
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♪ La-la-la ♪
72
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[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
73
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BOTH:
See you later, alligator!
74
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[BOTH LAUGH]
75
00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:51,499
Okay, listen.
How many times have I told you?
76
00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:55,295
Never eat the guest star
at the beginning of the show. Huh?
77
00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:57,756
Oh, Miss Piggy, is Elton John okay?
78
00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:01,384
Okay? He's fantastic.
79
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:03,970
Terrific. Uh, Scooter! Scooter?
80
00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:05,722
Oh, Chef, you're on next.
81
00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:07,599
[SPEAKING IN GIBBERISH]
82
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I know.
83
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:12,479
I know.
84
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:13,855
I know!
85
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:18,193
I don't know. Scooter! Scooter?
86
00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:19,277
Oof.
87
00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:21,988
-Yes, chief?
-What are you doing with this piano?
88
00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:25,784
Oh, I found this song for Elton John.
He's just gotta hear it.
89
00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:27,410
He don't gotta hear it.
90
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:30,663
Gee, my uncle who owns this theater
wanted him to hear it.
91
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Uh, where do you want the piano?
92
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Upstairs, in Elton John's dressing room.
93
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You got it.
94
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[GRUNTING]
95
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[BAND PLAYING UPBEAT FOLK MUSIC]
96
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[SINGING GIBBERISH]
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-♪ Bork, bork, bork ♪
-♪ Bock, bock, bock ♪
98
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[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
99
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...the birdy chicky cooky.
100
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Coochie-coochie-coochie, chicky.
101
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[CHUCKLES]
102
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...bird... egg to Chef. Egg to Chef.
103
00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:05,281
[CONTINUES SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
104
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:06,866
...egg.
105
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:09,035
[CHICKEN CLUCKING AND CHEF HUMMING]
106
00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:15,000
[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
107
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...egg? Egg?
108
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[CONTINUES SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
109
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...egg? The Ping-Pong ball.
110
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[CONTINUES SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
111
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...egg!
112
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[CHICKEN CLUCKING]
113
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[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
114
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Two Ping-Pong ball!
115
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[CONTINUES SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
116
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...egg to Chef ...the chicky.
Chicky to Chef.
117
00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:03,590
[CONTINUES SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
118
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:05,008
[CLUCKING]
119
00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:08,428
[SHOUTING GIBBERISH]
120
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:21,232
[SINGING GIBBERISH]
121
00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:23,401
[SHOUTING GIBBERISH]
122
00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:29,240
Hey, let's sneak out and have a pizza.
123
00:07:29,324 --> 00:07:30,742
Mm.
124
00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:34,871
Kermit, I know you like to
make your guests feel at home on the show,
125
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:38,083
but, uh, don't you think a piano
in the dressing room is overdoing it?
126
00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:41,169
Oh. I've been meaning to talk to you
about this piano.
127
00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:44,506
-We've got a gofer around here and...
-Oh.
128
00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:47,467
We've had frogs, chickens,
and now a gopher?
129
00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:49,803
Oh, yeah. That's an old theatrical term.
130
00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:52,722
A gofer is somebody you have around
to "go for" coffee.
131
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-Hmm.
-Isn't that interesting?
132
00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:55,809
No.
133
00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:58,269
Yeah, see, this gofer of ours, uh,
134
00:07:58,353 --> 00:08:01,231
well, he's found a song
he wants you to do on the show.
135
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:05,110
Hmm. Oh, Kermit.
I thought you were more professional.
136
00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:07,946
I'm sorry, Elton, but the kid has taste,
137
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:10,615
he's got talent, and he's got an uncle
who owns the theater.
138
00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:13,493
-Please, oh, please?
-Okay, let's hear it.
139
00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:15,995
Scooter, come on in. Get it over with.
140
00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:18,665
Okay, chief. Come on, Elton. Sit down.
141
00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:21,376
Make yourself comfy.
You'll love it. Ready?
142
00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:23,712
One, two, three, four.
143
00:08:24,796 --> 00:08:28,216
CHORUS [OFF-KEY]:
♪ La, la, la, la ♪
144
00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:31,177
-♪ Candy and Ronnie, have you seen them? ♪
CHORUS: ♪ La, la, la, la ♪
145
00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:34,931
-♪ Oh, they're so spaced out ♪
CHORUS: ♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪
146
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,182
♪ La-la-la, la-la-- ♪
147
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-Hold it! Stop! Hold it!
KERMIT: Hold it.
148
00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:42,022
I told you
that Elton wouldn't like that song.
149
00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:45,358
That song is tasteless.
That song has no melody.
150
00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:48,194
Isn't that the worst song
you've ever heard?
151
00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:51,614
Well, I didn't think so when I wrote it.
152
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,992
Um... Uh, you wrote that song?
153
00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:55,910
-Yep.
-Oh.
154
00:08:55,994 --> 00:09:00,165
Well, it's a rather interesting song.
It's got a nice little melody.
155
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:02,334
[KERMIT HUMMING]
156
00:09:05,337 --> 00:09:06,629
You really hated it, huh?
157
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,840
Well, uh, yeah.
158
00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:10,925
-It can sound different.
-It can?
159
00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:14,054
-Yeah. Let me show you.
-All right, let's hear it.
160
00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:16,222
[PLAYING "BENNIE AND THE JETS"]
161
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:24,689
♪ Oh, Candy and Ronnie
Have you seen them yet? ♪
162
00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:27,442
♪ Oh, but they're so spaced out ♪
163
00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:30,737
♪ B-B-B-Bennie and the Jets ♪
164
00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:35,325
♪ Oh, but they're weird
And they're wonderful ♪
165
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:38,953
♪ Oh, Bennie, she's really keen ♪
166
00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:42,665
♪ She's got electric boots
A mohair suit ♪
167
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:49,339
♪ You know, I read it in a magazine, oh ♪
168
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,883
♪ B-B-B-Bennie and the Jets ♪
169
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,388
-♪ Bennie ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Bennie ♪
170
00:09:56,471 --> 00:09:58,181
-♪ Bennie ♪
-♪ Bennie ♪
171
00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,725
-♪ Bennie ♪
-♪ Bennie ♪
172
00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:03,144
ALL:
♪ Bennie and the Jets ♪
173
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:11,069
-♪ Bennie ♪
-♪ Bennie, Bennie, Bennie ♪
174
00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:12,904
-♪ Bennie ♪
-♪ Bennie, Bennie, Bennie ♪
175
00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:15,448
-♪ Bennie ♪
-♪ Bennie, Bennie, Bennie ♪
176
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ALL:
♪ Bennie and the Jets ♪
177
00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:22,163
[ALL CHATTERING]
178
00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:24,165
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
179
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:30,296
NARRATOR:
Time again for Veterinarian's Hospital...
180
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:31,423
[GAS HISSES]
181
00:10:31,506 --> 00:10:36,177
...the continuing story of a quack
who's gone to the dogs.
182
00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:38,555
[HICCUPPING]
183
00:10:39,681 --> 00:10:41,891
Here's the next patient, Dr. Bob.
184
00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:45,854
It's a dog. I hope he doesn't have fleas.
185
00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:46,938
Why not?
186
00:10:47,022 --> 00:10:48,815
I hate to start from scratch.
187
00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:50,108
[ALL LAUGHING]
188
00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:52,318
What kind of dog is he, Dr. Bob?
189
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:54,446
-Ask him what time it is.
-Why?
190
00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:56,364
He might be a watch dog.
191
00:10:57,949 --> 00:11:00,160
Of course, he could be a guard dog.
192
00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:03,997
I know a woman who was once attacked
by her own guard dog.
193
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:05,206
Doberman pinscher?
194
00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:06,916
No, Doberman bit her.
195
00:11:08,752 --> 00:11:13,381
-Hey, where did you find him?
-At the lost-and-"hound" department.
196
00:11:13,465 --> 00:11:15,967
-Oh, I wish he was a dachshund.
-Why?
197
00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:19,054
I'd like to get a long little doggy.
198
00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:20,513
[AUDIENCE BOOING]
199
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:22,015
NARRATOR:
And so once again,
200
00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:25,518
Dr. Bob has taken the bulldog
by the horns.
201
00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:28,438
Tune in next week,
when you'll hear Nurse Piggy say:
202
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:31,316
Dr. Bob,
I think the patient is running a fever.
203
00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:33,568
-Oh, well, go get mustard.
-Mustard?
204
00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:36,196
That's what you always put on a hot dog.
205
00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:38,365
[AUDIENCE BOOING]
206
00:11:41,493 --> 00:11:43,745
[BAND PLAYING UPBEAT BIG-BAND MUSIC]
207
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:48,041
♪ Just a week or two ago
My poor old uncle Bill ♪
208
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:51,461
♪ Went and kicked the bucket
And he left me in his will ♪
209
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:54,714
♪ The other day I popped around
To see poor Auntie Jane ♪
210
00:11:54,798 --> 00:11:58,301
♪ She said, "Your uncle Bill
Has left to you a watch and chain" ♪
211
00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:01,513
♪ I put it on right across my vest ♪
212
00:12:01,596 --> 00:12:05,016
♪ Thought I'd look a dandy
As it dangled on my chest ♪
213
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:08,228
♪ Just to flash it off
I started walking round about ♪
214
00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:13,942
♪ A lot of kiddies followed me
And all began to shout like this ♪
215
00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:17,570
BOTH: ♪ Any old iron, any old iron?
Any, any, any old iron? ♪
216
00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:19,447
♪ You look neat
Talk about a treat ♪
217
00:12:19,531 --> 00:12:21,658
♪ You look dapper from your napper
To your feet ♪
218
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:24,994
♪ Dressed in style, brand-new tile
And your father's old green tie on ♪
219
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,622
♪ But I wouldn't give you tuppence
For your old watch chain ♪
220
00:12:27,706 --> 00:12:29,457
♪ Old iron, old iron! ♪
221
00:12:29,541 --> 00:12:31,501
♪ Ya-da-da duh-da-da
Ya-da-da duh-da-da ♪
222
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:33,545
♪ Da-da, da-da
Bup-bup ♪
223
00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:37,173
♪ Shan't forget when I got married
To Selena Brown ♪
224
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:40,927
♪ The way the people laughed at me
It made me feel a clown ♪
225
00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:44,389
♪ I began to wonder
When the dials began to crack ♪
226
00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:48,309
♪ If by mistake I'd got my Sunday trousers
Front-to-back ♪
227
00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:51,563
♪ I wore my chain on my derby kell ♪
228
00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:55,025
♪ The sun was shining on it
And it made me look a-swell ♪
229
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:58,611
♪ The organ started playing
And the bells began to ring ♪
230
00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:02,907
♪ My chain began to rattle
So the choir began to sing ♪
231
00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:04,367
Here we go, everybody.
232
00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:08,204
ALL: ♪ Any old iron, any old iron?
Any, any, any old iron? ♪
233
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,165
♪ You look neat
Talk about a treat ♪
234
00:13:10,248 --> 00:13:12,375
♪ You look dapper from your napper
To your feet ♪
235
00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:15,920
♪ Dressed in style, brand-new tile
With your father's old green tie on ♪
236
00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:18,214
♪ But I wouldn't give you tuppence
For your old watch chain ♪
237
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:19,924
♪ Old iron, old iron! ♪
238
00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:21,801
♪ Ya-da-da duh-da-da
Ya-da-da duh-da-da ♪
239
00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:23,219
♪ Da-da, da-da
Bup-bup ♪
240
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:26,306
♪ Any old iron, any old iron?
Any, any, any old iron? ♪
241
00:13:26,389 --> 00:13:27,932
♪ You look neat
Talk about a treat ♪
242
00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:29,726
♪ You look dapper from your napper
To your feet ♪
243
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:32,562
♪ Dressed in style, brand-new tile
With your father's old green tie on ♪
244
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:34,564
♪ But I wouldn't give you tuppence
For your old watch chain ♪
245
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:35,815
♪ Old iron, old iron! ♪
246
00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:37,692
♪ Ya-da-da duh-da-da
Ya-da-da duh-da-da ♪
247
00:13:37,776 --> 00:13:39,319
♪ Da-da, da-da
Bup-bup ♪
248
00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:41,488
[ALL CHATTERING]
249
00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:43,490
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
250
00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:48,787
Ladies and gentlemen, Kermit--
251
00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:51,790
[CHICKEN CLUCKING
AND CHEF SHOUTING GIBBERISH]
252
00:13:52,874 --> 00:13:56,252
Anyway, Kermit's allowed me
to do an introduction to our guest star.
253
00:13:56,336 --> 00:14:00,465
But I promised not to get carried away,
so I'll be very understated.
254
00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:03,968
Here he is, the greatest talent
in the history of the universe,
255
00:14:04,052 --> 00:14:05,303
Elton John!
256
00:14:05,387 --> 00:14:06,721
[CHEERS]
257
00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:08,807
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
258
00:14:14,229 --> 00:14:17,232
[PLAYING "GOODBYE YELLOW BRICK ROAD"]
259
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:25,865
♪ When are you gonna come down? ♪
260
00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:29,619
♪ When are you going to land? ♪
261
00:14:29,703 --> 00:14:32,497
♪ I should have stayed on the farm ♪
262
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:37,419
♪ I should have listened to my old man ♪
263
00:14:37,502 --> 00:14:41,423
♪ You know you can't hold me forever ♪
264
00:14:41,506 --> 00:14:45,343
♪ I didn't sign up with you ♪
265
00:14:45,427 --> 00:14:49,431
♪ I'm not a present
For your friends to open ♪
266
00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:52,934
♪ This boy's too young to be singing ♪
267
00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:57,439
♪ The blues ♪
268
00:14:57,522 --> 00:15:01,359
ALL:
♪ Ah-ah-ah, ah-ah ♪
269
00:15:01,443 --> 00:15:04,988
♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪
270
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:08,783
♪ So goodbye, yellow brick road ♪
271
00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:12,954
♪ Where the dogs of society howl ♪
272
00:15:13,038 --> 00:15:16,875
♪ You can't plant me in your penthouse ♪
273
00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:20,712
♪ I'm going back to my plow ♪
274
00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:24,674
♪ Back to the howling old owl
In the woods ♪
275
00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:28,511
♪ I'm hunting the horny back toad ♪
276
00:15:29,888 --> 00:15:34,559
♪ Oh, I've finally decided
My future lies ♪
277
00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:40,690
♪ Beyond the yellow brick road ♪
278
00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:44,652
ALL:
♪ Ah-ah-ah, ah-ah ♪
279
00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:48,823
♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪
280
00:15:48,907 --> 00:15:52,535
♪ Ah ♪
281
00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:56,289
♪ Maybe you'll get a replacement ♪
282
00:15:56,373 --> 00:16:00,418
♪ There's plenty like me to be found ♪
283
00:16:00,502 --> 00:16:04,214
♪ Mongrels who ain't got a penny ♪
284
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:07,384
♪ Sniffing for tidbits like you ♪
285
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:12,305
♪ On the ground ♪
286
00:16:12,389 --> 00:16:16,434
ALL:
♪ Ah-ah-ah, ah-ah ♪
287
00:16:16,518 --> 00:16:19,896
♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪
288
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:23,650
ELTON:
♪ So goodbye, yellow brick road ♪
289
00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:27,779
♪ Where the dogs of society howl ♪
290
00:16:27,862 --> 00:16:31,700
♪ You can't plant me in your penthouse ♪
291
00:16:31,783 --> 00:16:35,578
♪ I'm going back to my plow ♪
292
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:39,499
♪ Back to the howling old owl
In the woods ♪
293
00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:43,211
♪ I'm hunting the horny back toad ♪
294
00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:49,467
♪ Oh, I've finally decided
My future lies ♪
295
00:16:49,551 --> 00:16:55,557
♪ Beyond the yellow brick road ♪
296
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:59,519
♪ Ah-ah-ah, ah-ah ♪
297
00:16:59,602 --> 00:17:03,523
♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪
298
00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:06,818
♪ Ooh ♪
299
00:17:06,901 --> 00:17:09,904
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING AND CHEERING]
300
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:20,749
NARRATOR:
And now...
301
00:17:20,832 --> 00:17:25,587
[ECHOING]
Pigs in Space.
302
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:30,967
Starring the intangible Link Hogthrob,
303
00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:34,888
the redoubtable Miss Piggy,
304
00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:39,726
and the sanctimonious Dr. Strangepork.
305
00:17:40,769 --> 00:17:43,480
As we left the Swinetrek last time,
306
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:48,902
the crew had just been overcome
with a fearful attack of boredom.
307
00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:54,574
[ALL SIGH]
308
00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:58,787
Oh, the endless sameness of eternal space.
309
00:17:58,870 --> 00:18:00,747
A pig could go mad.
310
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:03,667
We only blasted off 20 minutes ago.
311
00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:08,755
That long?
At least we could have brought a TV set.
312
00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:12,050
I'm missing all my favorite bowling shows.
313
00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:15,929
You and your bowling shows.
314
00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:17,972
He cries at the sad parts.
315
00:18:18,056 --> 00:18:20,141
[STRANGEPORK LAUGHS]
316
00:18:20,225 --> 00:18:21,476
[ALARM BUZZING]
317
00:18:21,559 --> 00:18:22,936
HOGTHROB: Uh, doctor?
-Hmm?
318
00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:24,688
Uh, what does that red light mean?
319
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:28,066
Oh, the red light means stop.
The green light means go.
320
00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:32,946
-The yellow light--
-No, no, no. Not traffic lights, you twit.
321
00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:35,198
That light on the console.
322
00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:37,325
Oh, that light.
323
00:18:37,409 --> 00:18:41,454
That means we've been invaded
by alien beings.
324
00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:44,249
BOTH:
Oh.
325
00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:47,085
ALL:
What?!
326
00:18:47,168 --> 00:18:50,964
Yes, even now, hideous creatures
of some sort are roaming the ship!
327
00:18:51,047 --> 00:18:54,134
Oh! Oh, help! Do something, Miss Piggy!
328
00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:57,303
If they're like snakes, I'll scream!
329
00:18:57,387 --> 00:19:00,306
You're the captain, fatso.
330
00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:03,685
According to the sensors,
there are two creatures.
331
00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:07,480
Two? Two snakes? I'll just die.
332
00:19:07,564 --> 00:19:10,316
Wait, will you--? Will you please--?
333
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,027
Yes, here's the readout.
334
00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:14,612
One is very frightened and has feathers.
335
00:19:14,696 --> 00:19:18,825
The other speaks some sort
of strange Scandinavian tongue.
336
00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:20,577
[SHOUTING GIBBERISH]
337
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:25,749
Oh, there it is!
Aliens! Alien beings in the control room!
338
00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:28,793
-Alien beings in the control room!
-Keep away from me!
339
00:19:28,877 --> 00:19:33,465
Help! Oh, they are hideous creatures
loose in the control room!
340
00:19:33,548 --> 00:19:36,176
[CHICKEN CLUCKING]
341
00:19:36,259 --> 00:19:38,762
[CHEF SHOUTING IN GIBBERISH IN DISTANCE]
342
00:19:44,309 --> 00:19:47,062
Well, they're gone.
343
00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:51,191
Somehow, I miss them.
344
00:19:53,318 --> 00:19:57,405
Oh, the endless sameness of eternal space.
345
00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:00,658
[ALL SIGH]
346
00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:04,579
NARRATOR:
Tune in next week and be bored again
347
00:20:04,662 --> 00:20:11,336
by Pigs in Space!
348
00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:14,506
[SHOUTING GIBBERISH]
349
00:20:14,589 --> 00:20:16,675
[CHICKEN CLUCKING]
350
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:26,643
-Kermit, about this Elton John.
-Yeah?
351
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:30,647
I have seen some pretty weird guests
on this show,
352
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:34,401
but this Elton John borders
on the revolutionary.
353
00:20:34,484 --> 00:20:38,071
Uh, well, Sam,
Elton John is a very important musician.
354
00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:41,825
Then why does he dress like a stolen car?
355
00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:46,663
Huh. Uh, Sam,
musicians have always been fancy dressers.
356
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:48,331
Mozart wasn't.
357
00:20:48,415 --> 00:20:52,585
Uh, Mozart wore high heels and wigs
and silk stockings.
358
00:20:52,669 --> 00:20:55,588
Hold your little green tongue!
359
00:20:55,672 --> 00:20:56,881
It's true, Sam.
360
00:20:56,965 --> 00:21:02,470
Oh. If Mozart wore high heels,
wigs and stockings, I'll eat my hat.
361
00:21:02,554 --> 00:21:05,557
And, uh,
give Elton John a big introduction?
362
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:06,683
That too.
363
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:10,812
Guys, look at this great picture of Mozart
Elton John gave me.
364
00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:13,732
Love those high heels and silk stockings.
365
00:21:13,815 --> 00:21:15,150
What?
366
00:21:15,233 --> 00:21:19,154
Sam, you know,
you'd look great in a powdered wig.
367
00:21:19,237 --> 00:21:22,699
Good grief. I've been hornswoggled.
368
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,451
Okay, guys, come on in.
369
00:21:24,534 --> 00:21:25,827
WHATNOT:
All right. Come on.
370
00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:29,789
KERMIT: Come on, Sam. Step over here.
SAM: What's going on here?
371
00:21:29,873 --> 00:21:30,957
[ALL CLAMORING]
372
00:21:31,041 --> 00:21:32,375
SAM:
Now, listen up-- Whoa!
373
00:21:32,459 --> 00:21:34,961
WHATNOT: All right, Sam.
SAM: No, no, no!
374
00:21:35,045 --> 00:21:36,463
Wait, now, hold on...
375
00:21:38,465 --> 00:21:39,924
Do I have to do this?
376
00:21:40,008 --> 00:21:42,260
Yes, you do, Sam. A bet is a bet.
377
00:21:42,344 --> 00:21:44,763
All right. Um, let's see...
378
00:21:44,846 --> 00:21:49,392
"I am proud to introduce one
of the great names in popular music."
379
00:21:49,476 --> 00:21:51,895
-Mm-hm.
-"One of my all-time favorites,"
380
00:21:51,978 --> 00:21:53,229
Elton John."
381
00:21:53,313 --> 00:21:54,356
Uh, and?
382
00:21:54,439 --> 00:21:56,941
Ugh. All right.
383
00:21:59,235 --> 00:22:01,237
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING AND CHEERING]
384
00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:05,658
All right.
385
00:22:05,742 --> 00:22:10,497
There's a wonderful lady that I've always
wanted to work with and sing with.
386
00:22:10,580 --> 00:22:15,126
So will you please give a great reception
to the fantastic Miss Piggy?
387
00:22:15,210 --> 00:22:19,964
Ah! Oh, thank you. Kissy, kissy.
Kissy to you all.
388
00:22:20,048 --> 00:22:22,801
Elton, have you been waiting long,
poopsie?
389
00:22:22,884 --> 00:22:24,636
It seems like an eternity.
390
00:22:24,719 --> 00:22:26,262
Of course it does.
391
00:22:26,346 --> 00:22:27,472
-Ready?
-Mm-hm.
392
00:22:27,555 --> 00:22:29,432
Lay it on here.
393
00:22:29,516 --> 00:22:31,893
♪ Don't go breaking my heart ♪
394
00:22:33,103 --> 00:22:37,107
♪ I couldn't if I tried ♪
395
00:22:37,190 --> 00:22:40,735
♪ Oh, honey, if I get restless ♪
396
00:22:40,819 --> 00:22:43,863
♪ Baby, you're not that kind ♪
397
00:22:46,658 --> 00:22:49,119
♪ Don't go breaking my heart ♪
398
00:22:49,202 --> 00:22:50,245
[PIGGY SIGHS]
399
00:22:50,328 --> 00:22:54,207
♪ You take the weight off me ♪
400
00:22:54,290 --> 00:22:57,127
♪ Oh, honey, when I knocked on your door ♪
401
00:22:57,210 --> 00:22:58,253
Oh...
402
00:22:58,336 --> 00:23:01,006
♪ I gave you my key ♪
403
00:23:03,550 --> 00:23:06,011
BOTH:
♪ Whoo-hoo ♪
404
00:23:06,094 --> 00:23:08,638
♪ Nobody knows it ♪
405
00:23:10,682 --> 00:23:12,517
♪ But when I was down ♪
406
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:14,894
♪ I was your clown ♪
407
00:23:14,978 --> 00:23:17,355
BOTH:
♪ Whoo-hoo ♪
408
00:23:17,439 --> 00:23:19,858
♪ Nobody knows it ♪
409
00:23:22,110 --> 00:23:23,862
♪ But right from the start ♪
410
00:23:23,945 --> 00:23:25,989
♪ I gave you my heart ♪
411
00:23:26,072 --> 00:23:28,742
♪ Oh ♪
412
00:23:28,825 --> 00:23:31,703
♪ I gave you my heart ♪
413
00:23:31,786 --> 00:23:34,372
Mwah, mwah, mwah!
414
00:23:34,456 --> 00:23:36,666
♪ So don't go breaking my heart ♪
415
00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:40,879
♪ I won't go breaking your heart ♪
416
00:23:42,380 --> 00:23:43,757
Mm!
417
00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:46,843
BOTH:
♪ Don't go breaking my heart ♪
418
00:23:46,926 --> 00:23:50,055
Eat your heart out, Kiki!
419
00:23:53,141 --> 00:23:55,727
BOTH:
♪ Whoo-hoo, hoo ♪
420
00:23:55,810 --> 00:23:58,104
♪ Nobody knows it ♪
421
00:23:59,439 --> 00:24:00,523
Ha!
422
00:24:00,607 --> 00:24:02,067
♪ But when I was down ♪
423
00:24:02,150 --> 00:24:04,527
♪ I was your clown, whoo! ♪
424
00:24:04,611 --> 00:24:06,446
♪ Whoo-hoo ♪
425
00:24:07,489 --> 00:24:09,824
BOTH:
♪ Nobody knows it ♪
426
00:24:11,910 --> 00:24:13,703
♪ But right from the start ♪
427
00:24:13,787 --> 00:24:15,663
♪ I gave you my heart ♪
428
00:24:15,747 --> 00:24:17,582
-♪ Oh ♪
-♪ Oh! ♪
429
00:24:17,665 --> 00:24:21,795
♪ Elton, I gave you my heart ♪
430
00:24:23,838 --> 00:24:26,257
♪ So don't go breaking my heart
Miss Piggy ♪
431
00:24:26,341 --> 00:24:29,678
♪ Oh, sweetie
I won't go breaking your heart ♪
432
00:24:29,761 --> 00:24:31,554
BOTH:
♪ Don't go breaking my ♪
433
00:24:31,638 --> 00:24:33,264
♪ Don't go breaking my ♪
434
00:24:33,348 --> 00:24:35,350
♪ Don't go breaking my heart ♪
435
00:24:35,433 --> 00:24:37,310
-♪ Don't go breaking my ♪
-♪ Darling! ♪
436
00:24:37,394 --> 00:24:39,145
-♪ Don't go breaking my ♪
-♪ Lover! ♪
437
00:24:39,229 --> 00:24:46,194
♪ Don't go breaking my heart ♪
438
00:24:46,277 --> 00:24:49,572
Mwah, mwah, mwah!
439
00:24:49,656 --> 00:24:52,117
[AUDIENCE CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]
440
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:53,618
Ahh, mwah, mwah, mwah!
441
00:24:53,702 --> 00:24:55,870
[BOTH CHEERING]
442
00:24:55,954 --> 00:24:58,957
Hey, hey.
We look like members of the rock age.
443
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:02,085
Nah, we look more like members
of the Stone Age.
444
00:25:02,168 --> 00:25:03,586
[BOTH LAUGH]
445
00:25:03,670 --> 00:25:04,963
Ah?
446
00:25:05,046 --> 00:25:08,008
Well, that's about all the time
we have. Uh...
447
00:25:09,175 --> 00:25:12,053
Boy, are we gonna have some wardrobe bill.
448
00:25:12,137 --> 00:25:15,265
But we're gonna save on the light bill.
449
00:25:15,348 --> 00:25:18,643
That's true.
Let's bring out our special guest star
450
00:25:18,727 --> 00:25:21,771
and the man who caused all this,
Mr. Elton John!
451
00:25:21,855 --> 00:25:23,940
[ALL CHEERING]
452
00:25:24,024 --> 00:25:25,942
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
453
00:25:29,362 --> 00:25:32,699
Boy, Elton, you look weird.
454
00:25:32,782 --> 00:25:35,577
Well, you guys are all dressed
like stolen cars.
455
00:25:36,828 --> 00:25:40,081
Okay, we'll see you next time
on The Muppet Show!
456
00:25:40,165 --> 00:25:42,250
[ALL CHATTERING]
457
00:25:42,334 --> 00:25:44,419
[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
458
00:26:18,703 --> 00:26:19,788
Well, what did you think?
459
00:26:19,871 --> 00:26:21,748
[CHEF SHOUTING GIBBERISH]
460
00:26:21,831 --> 00:26:22,957
[CHICKEN CLUCKING]
461
00:26:23,041 --> 00:26:24,918
I hate running gags.
34790
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