Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,500 --> 00:00:05,266
[♪♪♪]
2
00:00:05,300 --> 00:00:09,166
Has anyone seen
my tropical getaways brochure?
3
00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:11,350
You know, B,
you didn't have to
steal it.
4
00:00:11,383 --> 00:00:13,333
I was gonna donate it
to the library
5
00:00:13,366 --> 00:00:15,200
under your mattress.
6
00:00:16,216 --> 00:00:19,116
Wait a minute.
This isn't my trig
book.
7
00:00:19,150 --> 00:00:20,316
Yeah.
8
00:00:20,350 --> 00:00:23,233
Ugh. Guys come up
with the lamest excuses.
9
00:00:23,266 --> 00:00:25,660
Oh yeah, like when you told me
10
00:00:25,100 --> 00:00:27,133
that you had the whisker burn
all over your face
11
00:00:27,166 --> 00:00:30,330
from kissing my mother. Hello.
12
00:00:30,433 --> 00:00:32,383
Fran, that really happened.
13
00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:36,416
Oh, well,
I'll give you that one.
14
00:00:38,150 --> 00:00:40,500
C.C.:
Well I wish I could get away
for the holidays,
15
00:00:40,830 --> 00:00:42,660
but I just have so much work do.
16
00:00:42,100 --> 00:00:44,400
Cheers.
Gotta keep that nose so
bright.
17
00:00:44,433 --> 00:00:46,466
Don't you guide his sleigh
that night?
18
00:00:48,116 --> 00:00:49,300
[LAUGHS]
19
00:00:49,333 --> 00:00:51,300
[COUGHS]
20
00:00:51,333 --> 00:00:53,483
I've gotta get
that flu shot.
21
00:00:55,830 --> 00:00:56,133
Fran, does this mean
22
00:00:56,166 --> 00:00:58,233
that you won't be with us
for Christmas?
23
00:00:58,266 --> 00:01:00,366
No, sweetie,
your father and I
24
00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:03,450
are taking separate vacations
this year.
25
00:01:03,483 --> 00:01:05,316
You know,
sometimes when two people
26
00:01:05,350 --> 00:01:07,350
spend a lot of time together,
27
00:01:07,383 --> 00:01:09,450
and one's not willing
to commit...
28
00:01:11,483 --> 00:01:13,200
the other has
to take the money
29
00:01:13,233 --> 00:01:15,183
that she would've spent
on her trousseau,
30
00:01:15,216 --> 00:01:18,160
and drown her sorrows
in Bahama Mamas.
31
00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:20,183
You know, it's okay, Fran.
32
00:01:20,216 --> 00:01:23,300
It's not like you and Daddy
are married or dating or--
33
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:25,330
Babbling, sweetie.
34
00:01:26,830 --> 00:01:28,330
Miss Fine, this is ridiculous.
35
00:01:28,660 --> 00:01:30,383
We don't have
to take separate vacations.
36
00:01:30,416 --> 00:01:33,150
Look, I really think
that it'll be better
for us,
37
00:01:33,183 --> 00:01:35,366
and I don't want to
argue about it,
'cause my mind's made up.
38
00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:37,116
Well, it's a shame.
39
00:01:37,150 --> 00:01:38,400
I was thinking of
chartering a yacht
40
00:01:38,433 --> 00:01:41,160
and cruising
off the Greek islands.
41
00:01:41,500 --> 00:01:43,830
Well, nothing's set in stone.
42
00:01:44,250 --> 00:01:47,233
Well, I'd like to discuss this
with you in private.
43
00:01:47,266 --> 00:01:49,500
If that's all right
with you two.
44
00:01:49,830 --> 00:01:51,830
-Eh... you talking to me?
-Oh, did you say something?
45
00:01:53,830 --> 00:01:54,300
Come on. Let's go to my office.
46
00:01:56,330 --> 00:01:57,200
Whoa, Nellie.
47
00:01:57,233 --> 00:01:58,400
Don't you know
it's terribly impolite
48
00:01:58,433 --> 00:02:01,160
to listen in
on other people's
conversations.
49
00:02:01,500 --> 00:02:04,383
This from the man who posed
for the RCA dog.
50
00:02:07,330 --> 00:02:09,116
Now, let go of me.
I don't want to miss this.
51
00:02:09,150 --> 00:02:11,233
All right, but be careful.
I just...
52
00:02:11,266 --> 00:02:12,216
[C.C. SHRIEKS]
53
00:02:12,250 --> 00:02:13,316
[THUD]
54
00:02:14,283 --> 00:02:16,116
...waxed the floor.
55
00:02:18,316 --> 00:02:20,366
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
56
00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:23,250
♪♪ She was workingin a bridal shopin Flushing, Queens ♪♪
57
00:02:23,283 --> 00:02:24,483
♪♪ 'Til her boyfriendkicked her out ♪♪
58
00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:26,316
♪♪ In one of thosecrushing scenes ♪♪
59
00:02:26,350 --> 00:02:28,283
♪♪ What was she to do?Where was she to go? ♪♪
60
00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:31,233
♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪
61
00:02:31,266 --> 00:02:34,116
♪♪ So over the bridgefrom Flushing to theSheffield's door ♪♪
62
00:02:34,150 --> 00:02:36,400
♪♪ She was thereto sell makeup,but the father saw more ♪♪
63
00:02:36,433 --> 00:02:39,000
♪♪ She had style!She had flair!She was there! ♪♪
64
00:02:39,330 --> 00:02:42,366
♪♪ That's howshe became the nanny! ♪♪
65
00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:45,316
♪♪ Who would have guessed thatthe girl we've described ♪♪
66
00:02:45,350 --> 00:02:47,483
♪♪ Was just exactly whatthe doctor prescribed? ♪♪
67
00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:49,266
♪♪ Now the fatherfinds her beguiling ♪♪
68
00:02:49,300 --> 00:02:50,466
♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪
69
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:52,116
♪♪ And the kidsare actually smiling ♪♪
70
00:02:52,150 --> 00:02:53,250
♪♪ Such joie de vivre! ♪♪
71
00:02:53,283 --> 00:02:54,450
♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪
72
00:02:54,483 --> 00:02:58,333
♪♪ When everybody elseis wearing tan ♪♪
73
00:02:58,366 --> 00:03:01,830
♪♪ The flashy girlfrom Flushing ♪♪
74
00:03:01,116 --> 00:03:03,660
♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪
75
00:03:06,350 --> 00:03:08,333
I just don't understand why
76
00:03:08,366 --> 00:03:11,233
you're suddenly taking
a separate vacation.
77
00:03:11,266 --> 00:03:13,660
What is the big deal?
78
00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:15,133
It's not like
we're one of those needy,
co-dependent couples
79
00:03:15,166 --> 00:03:17,216
that have to spend every waking
moment with each other.
80
00:03:17,250 --> 00:03:19,300
Right? Where are you going?
81
00:03:21,283 --> 00:03:24,183
I just think the holidays
are a time for us to be
together.
82
00:03:24,216 --> 00:03:27,830
Like a...
a warm loving family.
83
00:03:27,116 --> 00:03:29,300
Well, I got news for you.
A warm loving family
84
00:03:29,333 --> 00:03:32,500
requires a legally
binding certificate
85
00:03:32,830 --> 00:03:35,500
registered with the state,
and Pottery Barn.
86
00:03:37,450 --> 00:03:40,183
Besides, what is this
unnatural obsession
87
00:03:40,216 --> 00:03:43,116
with you not wanting me
to take a vacation by myself?
88
00:03:43,150 --> 00:03:46,183
[SCOFFS] Well, now I have
absolutely no idea
what you're talking about.
89
00:03:46,216 --> 00:03:48,200
Oh, no?
90
00:03:48,233 --> 00:03:51,333
I'm taking the entire family
on a cruise.
91
00:03:51,366 --> 00:03:53,450
-Where you going?
-The Caribbean.
92
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,416
That's fabulous.
93
00:03:56,166 --> 00:03:57,250
Just like me.
94
00:03:57,283 --> 00:03:59,416
I know. We're coming with you.
95
00:04:00,133 --> 00:04:01,266
What?
96
00:04:03,433 --> 00:04:06,183
Now, Miss Fine,
wasn't it your idea
97
00:04:06,216 --> 00:04:09,333
that Brighton should have
a big bar mitzvah-like to-do?
98
00:04:09,366 --> 00:04:13,250
Yeah, bar mitzvah on land.
99
00:04:13,283 --> 00:04:17,160
We're desert people.
We don't like to get wet.
100
00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:19,200
That's why
we parted the Red Sea.
101
00:04:20,383 --> 00:04:22,300
Oh, that. Well...
102
00:04:22,333 --> 00:04:24,450
Why can't you just be honest,
Mr. Sheffield?
103
00:04:24,483 --> 00:04:26,283
The reason why
104
00:04:26,316 --> 00:04:29,266
you don't want me going
on a vacation alone
105
00:04:29,300 --> 00:04:33,660
is because you are terrified
that I'm gonna meet someone.
106
00:04:33,100 --> 00:04:35,283
Yes, you are always
sabotaging my dates.
107
00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:37,160
Oh, that is ridiculous.
108
00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:38,350
Every one of your dates
I've been on,
109
00:04:38,383 --> 00:04:40,416
I behaved
like a perfect gentleman.
110
00:04:42,830 --> 00:04:44,116
No, Maxwell,
you're welcome to join us.
111
00:04:44,483 --> 00:04:47,150
Oh. Oh well, that sounds...
112
00:04:49,466 --> 00:04:52,466
terribly inconvenient.
Couldn't possibly. Good night.
113
00:04:53,216 --> 00:04:55,166
Are you sure?
114
00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:57,000
Well, actually, uh...
115
00:04:58,433 --> 00:05:01,000
-What kind of
car does he drive?
-A limo.
116
00:05:01,330 --> 00:05:04,250
-Oh, Town Car?
-Stretch. It's enormous.
117
00:05:04,283 --> 00:05:05,366
Bigger than mine?
118
00:05:08,333 --> 00:05:11,483
Oy, if it's so important to
you,
whip yours out of the garage,
119
00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:14,400
and we'll have
a limo-measuring contest.
120
00:05:16,433 --> 00:05:18,830
All right, fine.
121
00:05:18,116 --> 00:05:21,116
Take your vacation
at some tacky resort
122
00:05:21,150 --> 00:05:23,160
with its tequila shooter night
123
00:05:23,500 --> 00:05:26,283
and, oh, yes,
the big "Macarena" marathon.
124
00:05:28,116 --> 00:05:32,250
For your information, this place
happens to be nothing like that.
125
00:05:32,283 --> 00:05:34,100
It's very, very classy.
126
00:05:34,133 --> 00:05:37,216
Oh, look, they've got
a strip limbo contest.
127
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,200
If that touches,
is he disqualified?
128
00:05:42,283 --> 00:05:44,333
Maybe from the contest.
129
00:05:46,266 --> 00:05:49,350
[♪♪♪]
130
00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:51,133
Oh, my God.
131
00:05:51,166 --> 00:05:55,000
-This is beautiful.
It's paradise.
-Oh, Fran, oh.
132
00:05:55,330 --> 00:05:56,166
Hola
133
00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:58,830
My name is Rico.
134
00:05:58,116 --> 00:05:59,483
Please, ladies, after you.
135
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,100
Oh, well, you know, Rico,
in our country,
136
00:06:02,133 --> 00:06:04,466
-it's customary
for the man to go first.
-Mmhmm.
137
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,830
Really?
138
00:06:07,233 --> 00:06:11,160
God bless America.
139
00:06:11,500 --> 00:06:14,300
-See, Fran, aren't you glad
you came with me?
-Huh, huh.
140
00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:16,116
You wouldn't be able to
flirt with Rico
141
00:06:16,150 --> 00:06:18,100
with Mr. Sheffield all over you,
142
00:06:18,133 --> 00:06:20,216
dancing, smearing you
with baby oil,
143
00:06:20,250 --> 00:06:22,483
taking you for
cocktails
at sunset.
144
00:06:24,366 --> 00:06:26,830
You know Val,
this is why my mother
145
00:06:26,116 --> 00:06:28,183
never wanted me
to play with you.
146
00:06:29,266 --> 00:06:31,400
-Where's the paint?
-It's down there.
147
00:06:32,166 --> 00:06:33,233
Why?
148
00:06:35,283 --> 00:06:37,100
Well, you were in such
a rush to get up here,
149
00:06:37,133 --> 00:06:40,166
-I felt so--
-It doesn't matter!
150
00:06:42,166 --> 00:06:44,333
Let's just go down and get it.
151
00:06:44,366 --> 00:06:46,483
Now, unlock your lever
when I say "three."
152
00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:48,433
Have you got that, Val? Three.
153
00:06:51,233 --> 00:06:56,830
[SCREAMS]
Oh, my God! Val!
154
00:06:58,100 --> 00:06:59,333
Fran, look at all
these people.
155
00:06:59,366 --> 00:07:01,366
We're never gonna get
on the first bus.
156
00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:04,333
Oh, don't worry.
I'll take care of that.
157
00:07:04,366 --> 00:07:09,160
Can you believe that gorgeous
two-bedroom apartment
158
00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:13,333
on the corner there
for only 400 bucks a month?
159
00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:27,216
Oh, Val, could you believe
how stupid those people--?
160
00:07:27,250 --> 00:07:28,466
Val!
161
00:07:29,333 --> 00:07:33,160
Oh, my God! A roach!
A roach!
162
00:07:33,500 --> 00:07:35,300
Well, take your shoe
off
and kill it.
163
00:07:37,166 --> 00:07:38,333
[SQUISHES]
164
00:07:40,500 --> 00:07:41,416
Oh, Val!
165
00:07:41,450 --> 00:07:45,283
-This breeze is just
fabulous.
-Oh, I know.
166
00:07:45,316 --> 00:07:48,160
-Come on, let's get out of
these bulky clothes.
-Yeah.
167
00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:50,330
PA ANNOUNCER:Attention guests,a small tropical depression
168
00:07:50,660 --> 00:07:51,333
might be heading forthe island.
169
00:07:51,366 --> 00:07:54,366
So there will be freecocktailinside the Lido Pavilion.
170
00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:57,216
-Free cocktails.
-Ooh! What's it called? Oh!
Oh!
171
00:07:58,333 --> 00:08:00,266
PA ANNOUNCER:
Okay, that's cancelled.
172
00:08:03,366 --> 00:08:05,183
Okay, get in!
173
00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:08,266
[♪♪♪]
174
00:08:10,283 --> 00:08:13,433
Mr. Sheffield,
a terrible
hurricane
175
00:08:13,466 --> 00:08:17,116
is gonna hit the island
that Franny is on.
176
00:08:17,150 --> 00:08:19,466
My baby is gonna die.
177
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,250
Oh, Sylvia.
178
00:08:22,283 --> 00:08:25,266
Hold me.
Don't be such a Gentile.
179
00:08:27,216 --> 00:08:29,350
Sylvia, I know. I've heard.
180
00:08:29,383 --> 00:08:32,200
But it's... it's all--
It's gonna be all
right. Come on.
181
00:08:32,233 --> 00:08:35,133
It's times like this
you look up to God
182
00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:38,133
and ask, "Why? Why?"
183
00:08:38,166 --> 00:08:41,383
Well, now,
we can't ask why, Sylvia.
184
00:08:41,416 --> 00:08:44,160
It's nature. It's random. It's--
185
00:08:44,500 --> 00:08:47,283
No. Why don't you
marry my daughter?
186
00:08:49,416 --> 00:08:53,116
She'd be home safe with us
right now.
187
00:08:53,150 --> 00:08:56,333
Now, Sylvia,
I appreciate you're upset,
188
00:08:56,366 --> 00:08:58,266
but I'd prefer
not to discuss something
189
00:08:58,300 --> 00:09:01,333
that's really
between Miss Fine and myself.
190
00:09:01,366 --> 00:09:03,366
Make an exception.
191
00:09:04,166 --> 00:09:06,100
How often am I here?
192
00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:12,316
MAXWELL: Here they are,
Naomi and Wynonna.
193
00:09:14,450 --> 00:09:19,316
Do I smell banana fritters
with fresh fruit compote?
194
00:09:19,483 --> 00:09:21,830
No.
195
00:09:21,416 --> 00:09:23,500
Could I?
196
00:09:25,483 --> 00:09:27,500
Ma!
197
00:09:28,283 --> 00:09:31,660
Miss Taylor,
I'd like you to meet my
mother.
198
00:09:41,383 --> 00:09:43,450
Sylvia Fine.
199
00:09:45,660 --> 00:09:48,466
This meeting
bestows an honor upon me
200
00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:52,366
which is unparalleled
within my universe.
201
00:09:54,233 --> 00:09:57,383
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
202
00:10:02,660 --> 00:10:05,116
[HEAVY WIND BLOWING]
203
00:10:05,433 --> 00:10:08,500
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
204
00:10:31,416 --> 00:10:34,483
I told them no salt!
205
00:10:37,266 --> 00:10:38,400
[WIND STOPS]
206
00:10:38,433 --> 00:10:41,183
-Oh, my God. Sun! Sun!
-Oh, sun!
207
00:10:43,266 --> 00:10:45,433
-[BOTH GROAN]
-[WIND BLOWS]
208
00:10:46,300 --> 00:10:49,183
-Did I get anything?
-No!
209
00:10:49,216 --> 00:10:54,000
Oy, Fran, I'm scared.
This is like a real
hurricane.
210
00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:57,333
Calm down, Val!
211
00:10:57,366 --> 00:10:59,216
If it gets really bad,
212
00:10:59,250 --> 00:11:02,383
we could always tie ourselves
to something sturdy!
213
00:11:02,416 --> 00:11:05,000
-This will do.
-Oh, oh.
214
00:11:11,660 --> 00:11:13,200
C.C.:If you hadn't waxedthe stupid floor,
215
00:11:13,233 --> 00:11:14,383
this never would have happened.
216
00:11:14,416 --> 00:11:16,450
Oh, come on,
don't be such a baby.
217
00:11:16,483 --> 00:11:18,300
You're really
getting the hang of it.
218
00:11:18,333 --> 00:11:20,433
[WHIRRING]
219
00:11:26,216 --> 00:11:27,383
I'm hungry.
220
00:11:27,416 --> 00:11:30,116
Well, it's your fault
for not showing up for lunch.
221
00:11:30,150 --> 00:11:33,100
I was waiting in the dining
room
for hours.
222
00:11:33,133 --> 00:11:34,400
But I served upstairs
in the solarium.
223
00:11:34,433 --> 00:11:37,316
Why didn't you--? Oh.
224
00:11:40,330 --> 00:11:41,383
You wouldn't be able
to torture me like this
225
00:11:41,416 --> 00:11:42,466
if I wasn't in this chair.
226
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:46,483
But you are, Babs, you are.
227
00:11:47,483 --> 00:11:50,283
-Coffee?
-Yes, please.
228
00:11:50,316 --> 00:11:51,450
Ow!
229
00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:54,830
This is ridiculous.
230
00:11:54,116 --> 00:11:57,100
I don't know why that
stupid store doesn't
deliver.
231
00:11:58,266 --> 00:12:01,660
Oh, they do.
232
00:12:04,266 --> 00:12:07,660
Oh, dear,
I wonder if I can catch her.
233
00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:13,830
Oh, Miss Babcock.
234
00:12:17,330 --> 00:12:19,316
Maxwell, darling, is that you?
235
00:12:23,116 --> 00:12:24,200
Shh.
236
00:12:24,233 --> 00:12:26,216
[GENTLY]
Don't turn around.
237
00:12:32,250 --> 00:12:34,100
[BLOWS AIR]
238
00:12:36,333 --> 00:12:38,830
I'm yours.
239
00:12:40,466 --> 00:12:43,166
Tell me what you want me to do.
240
00:12:49,350 --> 00:12:51,383
[GENTLY]
Cluck like a chicken.
241
00:12:59,383 --> 00:13:01,160
What?
242
00:13:01,333 --> 00:13:03,266
It turns me on.
243
00:13:09,433 --> 00:13:11,283
[CLUCKING]
244
00:13:13,316 --> 00:13:15,183
[CLUCKING]
245
00:13:18,116 --> 00:13:20,183
[CLUCKING]
246
00:13:23,216 --> 00:13:25,316
[CLUCKING]
247
00:13:26,383 --> 00:13:29,400
[CLUCKING]
248
00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:31,366
[SCREAMS]
249
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:38,660
-Oh, get out of my way.
-Oh.
250
00:13:38,100 --> 00:13:39,350
-[WHIRRING]
-Oh, oh, Niles.
251
00:13:39,383 --> 00:13:42,330
Oh, God, this thing is stuck.
How do I stop it?
252
00:13:42,660 --> 00:13:44,150
Hold on,
I'll get the
manual.
253
00:13:44,183 --> 00:13:47,400
-MAXWELL:Niles, are you busy?
-Free as a bird, sir.
254
00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:50,160
Niles!
255
00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:51,266
Niles!
256
00:13:51,300 --> 00:13:54,100
Niles!
257
00:13:54,133 --> 00:13:56,450
REPORTER [OVER RADIO]:
Hurricane Diane continuesa path of destruction
258
00:13:56,483 --> 00:13:59,450
and is bearing downon the Caribbean. Staytuned.
259
00:14:01,330 --> 00:14:03,250
Niles, I'm awfully worried.
260
00:14:03,283 --> 00:14:04,333
What if she dies?
261
00:14:04,366 --> 00:14:06,160
Oh, I'll feed her
eventually, sir.
262
00:14:06,500 --> 00:14:07,433
I'm just screwing with her head.
263
00:14:09,433 --> 00:14:12,830
I'm talking about Miss Fine.
264
00:14:12,116 --> 00:14:14,116
What if something
happens to her?
265
00:14:14,150 --> 00:14:17,133
She'll never know
how I feel about her.
266
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,830
No one knows.
267
00:14:19,116 --> 00:14:20,166
No one kno--?
268
00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:22,350
-[BANGS ON TABLE]
-Hello.
269
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:25,160
Niles, what am I gonna do?
270
00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:27,233
These costumes
are gonna be ghastly.
271
00:14:27,266 --> 00:14:28,300
Was C.C. right?
272
00:14:28,333 --> 00:14:30,283
I mean, have I let my
judgment be impaired
273
00:14:30,316 --> 00:14:31,483
by my feelings for Miss Fine?
274
00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:33,350
-What feelings are those,
sir?
-Well, you know.
275
00:14:33,383 --> 00:14:35,216
-No, I don't, sir.
-Oh, come on, Niles.
276
00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:37,383
Oh, but you'd feel so much
better if you just said it.
277
00:14:37,416 --> 00:14:39,433
Oh, perhaps you're right.
278
00:14:39,466 --> 00:14:42,416
Maybe I should just admit that--
279
00:14:42,450 --> 00:14:45,200
-Knock, knock.
-Oh, wait!
280
00:14:51,660 --> 00:14:53,330
Why is she throwing herself
at him anyway?
281
00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:56,160
I mean, it's not as
if she's never seen a
good-looking man before.
282
00:14:56,500 --> 00:14:57,333
I've been known
to turn a few heads
283
00:14:57,366 --> 00:14:59,330
in my time. Right, Niles?
284
00:14:59,660 --> 00:15:01,330
You're a brick...
285
00:15:01,660 --> 00:15:02,266
house.
286
00:15:05,366 --> 00:15:08,216
Mighty, mighty.
287
00:15:08,250 --> 00:15:11,166
What do I have to do
to convince her she's
desirable?
288
00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:13,416
Well, sir, I'm sure
you'll think of something.
289
00:15:13,450 --> 00:15:17,400
I mean, after all, you're a
man,
she's a woman.
290
00:15:17,433 --> 00:15:19,350
Fill in the blanks.
291
00:15:22,166 --> 00:15:23,466
The children are at school.
292
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,283
She's lying on the sofa.
293
00:15:25,316 --> 00:15:30,450
And if all else fails,
what would Pierce Brosnan do?
294
00:15:33,250 --> 00:15:35,116
[HEAVY WIND BLOWING]
295
00:15:37,233 --> 00:15:39,150
I don't know, Val.
296
00:15:40,116 --> 00:15:42,383
Oh, all right.
Sela Ward fromSisters.
297
00:15:42,416 --> 00:15:44,316
Yes!
298
00:15:44,350 --> 00:15:46,150
You are so good.
299
00:15:46,183 --> 00:15:47,316
[CRACKLING]
300
00:15:47,350 --> 00:15:50,366
You know what?
I'm gonna call
the family at home,
301
00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:52,266
let them know
that
we're okay.
302
00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:54,416
Oh, Mr. Sheffield
gave you his phone?
303
00:15:54,450 --> 00:15:59,500
Gave, fell in my purse,
who remembers?
304
00:15:59,830 --> 00:16:01,133
-[THUNDER RUMBLING]
-[BOTH GASP]
305
00:16:02,283 --> 00:16:05,150
Val! Val, the room
is gonna cave in!
306
00:16:05,183 --> 00:16:06,366
We're gonna die!
307
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:09,300
Shouldn't our life be flashing
before our eyes?
308
00:16:09,333 --> 00:16:13,183
Val, we're over 30, single,
and in bed with each other.
309
00:16:13,216 --> 00:16:15,000
What life?
310
00:16:17,830 --> 00:16:18,660
[GLASS SHATTERING OUTSIDE]
311
00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:21,466
-Oh, those poor children.
-Oh.
312
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:26,316
They're gonna be lost
without my love and attention.
313
00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:29,483
Did you find out who it is yet?
314
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:32,500
Honey, what did I tell you
about snooping?
315
00:16:32,830 --> 00:16:33,350
That there should always
be a lookout.
316
00:16:33,383 --> 00:16:36,150
-Good. Go wait in the hall.
-Right.
317
00:16:36,183 --> 00:16:39,100
A hickey, Maggie?
Did you really think
318
00:16:39,133 --> 00:16:41,830
that you were gonna hide
a hickey from me
319
00:16:41,116 --> 00:16:42,433
with a little pressed powder?
320
00:16:42,466 --> 00:16:47,416
You need oil-based concealer.
321
00:16:47,450 --> 00:16:50,216
Oh, just forget it.
It's too humiliating.
322
00:16:50,250 --> 00:16:52,100
Well, what could be
so humiliating
323
00:16:52,133 --> 00:16:55,000
about being smaller
in the locker room?
324
00:17:00,150 --> 00:17:02,133
Master Willie is here
with his nanny.
325
00:17:02,166 --> 00:17:05,183
Oh, now, honey,
you go make an entrance,
326
00:17:05,216 --> 00:17:07,333
and check yourself
like I taught you.
327
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:09,366
I'm fine.
328
00:17:11,466 --> 00:17:14,500
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
329
00:17:24,216 --> 00:17:27,233
Well, I am never coming
back
to this place again.
330
00:17:29,166 --> 00:17:32,400
I ordered room service
a half an hour ago.
331
00:17:33,250 --> 00:17:35,116
Do you see a fajita?
332
00:17:38,150 --> 00:17:41,330
[♪♪♪]
333
00:18:07,333 --> 00:18:10,660
Get up. I saw you
through the window.
334
00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:13,283
-Wait. Miss Fine, this idea
of taking separate vacations
-Mr. Sheffield.
335
00:18:13,316 --> 00:18:15,350
-was a horrible idea.
-This was a lousy idea.
336
00:18:15,383 --> 00:18:17,233
-I missed you dreadfully.
-I had a terrible time.
337
00:18:17,266 --> 00:18:19,366
-I'm so glad you're back.
-Let's never do this again.
338
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:21,000
-What?
-What?
339
00:18:21,330 --> 00:18:22,300
-Nothing.
-Nothing.
340
00:18:24,150 --> 00:18:25,333
The fact is, you're safe,
341
00:18:25,366 --> 00:18:28,330
and we're all together
for the holidays.
342
00:18:28,660 --> 00:18:32,133
Yes, and I am never
leaving home again.
343
00:18:32,166 --> 00:18:34,333
Unless, of course,
you're dying to take a trip,
344
00:18:34,366 --> 00:18:36,116
then we can always
charter a yacht
345
00:18:36,150 --> 00:18:38,830
around the Greek islands.
346
00:18:39,150 --> 00:18:40,483
You know, Miss
Fine,
this will be
347
00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:43,116
our fourth Christmas together.
348
00:18:43,150 --> 00:18:46,383
It seems like only yesterday
you came knocking on our door.
349
00:18:47,483 --> 00:18:50,200
-May I see your résumé, please?
-Oh, yeah, sure.
350
00:18:52,433 --> 00:18:54,283
-Crayon?
-Lipstick.
351
00:18:54,316 --> 00:18:56,316
Of course. What a lovely shade.
352
00:18:56,350 --> 00:18:58,266
[LAUGHS]
353
00:19:02,830 --> 00:19:03,233
I hate her.
354
00:19:03,266 --> 00:19:05,416
-Now, Brighton,
let's not be hasty.
-Yeah.
355
00:19:05,450 --> 00:19:08,216
I haven't even sung
"Climb Every Mountain" yet.
356
00:19:09,466 --> 00:19:12,416
Miss Fine,
you seem to have listed
357
00:19:12,450 --> 00:19:14,433
the queen mother as a reference?
358
00:19:14,466 --> 00:19:17,160
What? Let me see that.
359
00:19:17,500 --> 00:19:19,400
Oh, no.
That's not the queen mother.
360
00:19:19,433 --> 00:19:22,830
That's my mother from Queens.
361
00:19:23,500 --> 00:19:24,483
I can't believe
that was four years ago
362
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:28,660
and still I'm only
two years older.
363
00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:30,183
You didn't think
I could handle this job,
364
00:19:30,216 --> 00:19:33,316
but I turned out
to be quite a professional.
365
00:19:33,350 --> 00:19:37,350
While you're here, tell me,
should I take this back?
366
00:19:37,383 --> 00:19:39,316
Uh, I think
you should put it on.
367
00:19:39,350 --> 00:19:41,433
I already had it on.
It flattens out my--
368
00:19:41,466 --> 00:19:46,830
Oh, Mr. Sheffield!
Why didn't you say anything?
369
00:19:46,116 --> 00:19:48,116
Well, I didn't notice.
370
00:19:48,150 --> 00:19:51,400
You didn't-- You know,
I'm beginning to wonder
about you too.
371
00:19:53,116 --> 00:19:55,350
Oh, I can't get it on.
I'm stuck.
372
00:19:55,383 --> 00:19:58,450
-Help me. Help me.
-Relax, Miss Fine,
we'll get it on.
373
00:19:58,483 --> 00:20:00,266
No, rip it out.
374
00:20:03,660 --> 00:20:05,166
Oh, Mr. Sheffield.
I'm so hot.
375
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:07,216
I can't do this standing up.
376
00:20:07,250 --> 00:20:10,660
Let's... let's get on the bed.
377
00:20:20,283 --> 00:20:22,416
If you let me
tell Miss Babcock about this,
378
00:20:22,450 --> 00:20:24,466
I'll work free for a year.
379
00:20:27,233 --> 00:20:31,660
Miss Fine,
remember who signs your check.
380
00:20:31,100 --> 00:20:36,830
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
I'm not gonna hit you with
this.
381
00:20:36,116 --> 00:20:38,100
-[GASPS]
-Fake out.
382
00:20:40,166 --> 00:20:42,160
Friends?
383
00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:44,450
Oh, all right, friends.
384
00:20:44,483 --> 00:20:46,500
Come here.
385
00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:49,660
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
386
00:20:54,166 --> 00:20:57,500
Look, stop
it!
Don't! Stop!
387
00:20:57,830 --> 00:20:59,466
Stop! Don't! No!
388
00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:09,450
But, you know, Mr. Sheffield,
out of all the memories,
389
00:21:09,483 --> 00:21:12,150
-you know which one
was my favorite?
-Mm?
390
00:21:16,350 --> 00:21:19,316
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
391
00:21:19,350 --> 00:21:21,150
Mazel tov.
392
00:21:21,183 --> 00:21:22,433
You may kiss the bride.
393
00:21:25,216 --> 00:21:30,466
["WEDDING MARCH" PLAYING]
394
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:34,000
Oh, Miss Fine,
that never
happened.
395
00:21:36,133 --> 00:21:38,233
I threw that one in
for you guys.
396
00:21:38,266 --> 00:21:40,660
Happy holidays.
397
00:21:49,383 --> 00:21:51,366
FRAN:Niles,I got you invited toGreece.
398
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:53,216
Why can't you justrelax and enjoy it?
399
00:21:53,250 --> 00:21:54,433
NILES:Well, I'm sorrybut I can't help feeling
400
00:21:54,466 --> 00:21:56,466
that I left something onin the kitchen.
401
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,166
[WHIRRING]
402
00:22:06,316 --> 00:22:09,233
[♪♪♪]
403
00:22:17,100 --> 00:22:20,000
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
29847
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
