All language subtitles for Extraordinary.2023.S02E01.1080p.WEB.H264-SuccessfulCrab

Ooh!

Morning.

Wait, why are you happy?

Why shouldn't I be? Boom!

- You don't remember last night?
- Nah.

Must've gotten too drunk and blacked out.

You kept turning back time to try
and stop me from breaking up with you.

But she did anyway.

Oh, that rings a bell.

I think we should break up.

Oh, no. Oh, God. No, no, no.
It's all coming back to me.

No, no, no. Unring the bell.

- Unring the bell.
- Don't be sad. Uh, look.

Gordon gave Jen
his come money for the clinic.

A-And Jizzlord and I are a couple.

A couple of what?

A couple. A couple, couple.
A romantic pairing.

- What?
- I know. It is adorable.

No... What? It's gross.
What... Isn't that illegal?

- You can't fuck your cat.
- Hey! No.

He's a man that can turn into a cat.

Not a cat that turns into a man.
Totally different. Right?

Mm-hmm.

I need to lie down.

Where is he anyway?
He went out to the shops ages ago.

- Hello.
- Hi.

That man looks like Daddy.

Rob, I...

Rob, it's me. Nora, your wife.

Mmm. Yeah.

Maybe he's got a secret family.

Oh, we were just talking about you.

I haven't got a secret family!

Stop eavesdropping on us,
you big weirdo.

Anything interesting
happen at the shops?

Nope.

Huh.

11,970.11,990.

If your power is category five,

please remember to sign
in and out of security.

Oh.

12,000.

Welcome to the Power Discovery programme.

- Yes, yay.
- Okay. Wh-What now?

Is there a machine?

No. You're going to be having weekly

one-on-one sessions
with a qualified coach.

Oh. So, who's my coach?

Uh, George.
Oh, that's him over there, actually.

He's a bit of a DILF, right?

- Carrie!
- What? He is.

You've been single for two minutes
and you're already perving on local DILFs.

He's giving sexy professor.

He's 85.

I'd still ride him, though, yeah.

- He's coming over.
- What?

Denise. Do you have
discharge forms for Mr Lowry?

One minute. You have a new client.

Oh.

Hello.

Uh, me, Jen. Me Jen. My name's Jen. Sorry.

No power. Twenty five. A lot of work.

- So, when do we start?
- Well, um, how's right now?

Now, now?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, okay.

After you.

Thanks, Dad.

- I see you've met Denise.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's great.

Hmm, really?
I think she's a sour-faced dickhead.

Oh, my God, isn't she?
Sulphureous bitch.

So. Do you know what I'm here to do?

Fix me?

Not quite, no.

Some people think powers
are a physical thing.

A chemical or some bullshit. I don't.

I think they come from up here,

and it's likely there is some
psychological blockage

we have to overcome
before you can get your power.

Because it is in there. And it's my job
to take you inside your mind and find it.

So, is that like talk therapy or...

Oh, no. I mean literally. May I?

Mmm.

Welcome to your mind.

Or at least the physical space your
subconscious has rendered your mind into.

- This is my mind?
- Mm-hmm.

It's a shithole.

And somewhere in this shithole
is the thing that's blocking your power.

And the books are...

I'd imagine they're everything
you've ever felt, thought or done.

Found something useful?

Subtle.

Where do you even begin?

Well, let's take it slow.
Give yourself a few days to prepare.

Reassess your environment, your habits.
Make space for the journey.

- That sounded really wanky, didn't it?
- Yeah, but I know what you mean.

This is a fresh start.
Everything's gonna change.

I'm going to change.

Let's set realistic expectations.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Totally.

- What are you doing?
- Clean slate.

Anything that might hold me back
from the new Jen is going into the void.

The pit of unwanted things.
The Mystery Hole.

What? That thing people fly-tip into
in Walthamstow?

Yeah.

We're doing it too, Kash.
Out with the old.

We could sit around
moping about breaking up,

or we see this as an opportunity
to reinvent ourselves. A fresh start.

No, no, no. You can't throw that out. No.

Kash, come on.

What... And this?

What even is it?

And-And these.
Come on. What's wrong with these?

- Kash.
- What? They're still good.

See? They still go on.

You can't just
change everything overnight.

Course you can!

It's not possible to escape your past.

It clings to you like dust settling into
the once clean carpet of your future.

And the Hoover of change has poor suction.

Jizz? Scratchin' the sofa.

Oh.

Jizz? Jizzlord?

They don't even cover your bumhole!

- Even better.
- How is that better?

- You okay?
- Me? Yeah. Okay as a clam.

You haven't been eating.

You're hiding away in small spaces,
excessively grooming.

You're obviously stressed.

And I think I know why.

Uh, I don't know how to do this either.
The whole relationship thing.

So, let's just start by going on a date.

Like a proper date. A first date,
technically. Just you and me.

Yeah, because
there isn't another person involved.

Um, true.

So, I'll book a restaurant.

Just... Just let me show you!

Here?

Trousers down, squat, wipe, trousers up.

No fuss. Maximum efficiency.

The life of these pants
is only just beginning.

- They are a health hazard!
- It's good bacteria.

Oh, I love a breakup makeover.

When Danny Fruss
dumped me right before Italia 90,

I went out and got the whole works.

Perm, boobs, adult braces.

I thought, when this man sees me again,
he won't know what hit him.

What happened? What'd he do?

He drowned.
Scuba diving accident in Turkey.

Very, very sad.

I want a completely different look.
Something totally new.

But what is that specifically?

I don't know.
I have no idea who I am or what I want.

- Please tell me who I am and what I want.
- Carrie, no.

The point of a breakup makeover
is to relearn how to be a new person.

I could use a little guidance.

Do we know anyone
who has absolutely smashed a breakup?

Mm-hmm.

Yes, well he sounds
like an absolute little shit, darling.

Uh, no, Diana. He's not that bad.
He just needs to grow up a bit.

Mm-hmm.

I closed the shop for a week
when you died.

Woolworths was open the whole time.

Oh! Can you sign me plates?
Wait here.

So, uh, what do you think I should do,
Your Highness of a...

Miss, Miss, Mrs, Miss, Mrs, Miss Princess.

Mmm.

Let's go total tart.

- And I should get a fringe.
- Oh, my God. No.

Absolutely do not do that.

Kash, can I ask you for some advice?

I've been expecting this.
You want to know how to have a girlfriend.

Why would I ask you?
You don't have a girlfriend.

I'd usually go on my smoke break now,
but I don't even miss it.

- I actually feel really energised.
- Mmm.

Oh, yes, straight in with the leather.

Self-improvement is a piece of piss.

Oh, hi.

Sorry.

I'm looking for someone.

Uh, I was wondering if you could
put this poster up in your window.

- Yeah. Who are you looking for?
- My husband.

Well, if I can help in any way, I will.

You don't have the context,
but basically, I'm good now.

Robert Clutton?

Do you know him?

No.

Well. Thank you anyway.

I can't breathe, Your Highness.

That's how you know
it's working, darling.

What do you think?

I ain't got a Sharpie,
but I found a very wet biro.

I did have a girlfriend though.

I've had three girlfriends, if you count
pen pals. So, I'm kind of an expert.

Oh, great. That's exactly what I need.
Because, um, basically, um...

Jizzlord has a wife.

And a son?

And she came in here,
she's looking for him.

And I bumped into them yesterday,
and they remember me.

But I didn't tell her that I know him.

And I haven't told Jen.

It's okay. It's okay.
We can figure this out.

Oh, my God, you're fucked.

You're absolutely fucked.

This kicks up so many emotional
and moral questions, like...

- Is she hot?
- She did seem quite symmetrical.

Pretty. Like toothbrush ad pretty.

What are you gonna do?

I thought you'd tell me.
You said you were the expert!

I don't know!

You have to tell him.

Uh, but what if I just, like, don't?

As somebody who knows who he actually is,
you can't keep that from him.

- What if he likes her more than me?
- It's your new chapter, remember?

You really want to start it
lying to someone you care about?

I keep meaning to tell her,

but every time I start thinking about it,

and then I can't stop thinking
even though I tell my brain not to.

Hey! Don't let your brain
push you around like that.

Look, I used to be anxious.

And now, when I think about
having a thought, I just don't.

The next time you see Jen,
you're going to look her in the eye,

and you're going to tell her.

- But-But what if...
- Ah, ah.

That sounds a lot like thinking.

Oh.

- Happy date.
- Happy date.

So, where's the restaurant?

Should be here.

Hmm.

You look for Little Italy?

Yeah.

It's there.

Whoa.

How do we get in?

- I boop.
- Huh?

Ooh.

He needs booping too. Por favor!

Thank you!

Ow! Is this the void pile?

What are you wearing?

Oh, it's my new edgy look. I'm edgy now.

If there's an edge out there, I'm on it.
Not over it, but right up there.

Well, you looked fine before.

Why can't people
just stop messing with things?

Look, I know you're
feeling uncertain about the future.

So, I have drawn up
a super-casual list of stuff we should do

and shouldn't do post-breakup
or, you know, whenever.

- A contract?
- Not a contract.

A vibe check. A formal,
legally binding vibe check.

So, we're in agreement that
the social media announcement

shall take place on the 28th
in the form of a story.

No use of emojis. Just plain text.

Sidebar. What about one broken heart?

- What colour?
- Black.

That is classy. I will allow it.

Mm-hmm.

Right, there's something
I have to tell you,

and I'm just going to come right out
with it.

I've stalled long enough.

So, yesterday, I'm in the shop...

which is a building with four walls and,
of course as we know, a roof.

Eh, it-it was a grey day.
Maybe 12, 13 degrees Celsius.

And as I approached a customer,

putting one foot in front of the other
as is the fashion,

left, then right, then left and, uh,

as you might imagine,
followed by right again.

Jen, I know who I am.

I'm, uh, your boyfriend.

And that's all I want to be.

Oh, hey, look.
That's how couples eat.

We should, um...

Let's... Yeah.

Uh-uh.

Oh, now this is egregious.

Both parties may enter into a sexual act
with another partner or partners

no sooner than six weeks post-separation.

Sexual acts include but are not limited to
fellatio, cunnilingus, penetration,

handjobs, fisting, 69ing,
nipple stimulation,

touching with the intent of stimulation

and open-mouthed kissing
lasting more than 30 seconds.

Okay, okay.

Sexual interaction will be permitted
four weeks post-separation.

- Which is a good faith concession.
- With the exception of hand stuff.

- Over the jeans.
- No, it's got to be under.

Not to completion.

I can work with that.

Mmm.

Mmm. Hmm.

'Kay. Clause two. Moving out.

I've suggested a very generous
eight-week search time,

because flat hunting in London
is horrendous and,

you're very bad with numbers.

Wait, you want me to move out?
Why am I the one moving out?

Well, I mean... Well...

- It's 'cause I have the penis, isn't it?
- No, no.

Well, I mean... Yeah, but...

No, but you broke up with me.
I'm the victim here.

It's not just moving out. It's moving on.

- You're clinging to the past.
- No, I'm not.

Really? Then throw away just one thing.

- Just the pants.
- No.

No, I forbid you to throw anything out.
And I'm not signing.

Jesus, I'm starving.

Have the leftovers.

It's a lovely spaghetto.

One sec.

Hello.

Hey. Ooh, some of these. Yes.

What else have we got?

Fabulous. Thank you.

Ready?

Mm-hmm. Oh.

Where are they? Where's my pants?

Oh, uh, Carrie put them
in one of her big bags and left.

She's taking my stuff to the void.

She's gonna throw it all into the void,
and then it'll be gone forever.

What's going in?

The old Carrie.

You can't throw bodies in.
That's, like, rule number one.

No, no. It's metaphorical.

- See, me and my boyfriend...
- I don't care. Oi.

Five quid.

I really think I'd suit it.
There's a fringe for every face shape.

Ah!

Ah, that felt good.

Yeah, this is healthy! I think.

Bye-bye, girlfriend Carrie!

Oh, I feel so free!

- Jen, I'm gonna do it.
- Carrie, no.

- I'm gonna do it.
- Don't do it!

It's happening.

Aw.

Oh, my God.

How does it look?

I...

Is that...

I-I'm just going to go
check something over there.

You need to go.

My sexy little carafe.

Aw.

- I'm so proud of you!
- Oh!

Hey!

Those are my pants!

Kash.

Now, under UK law, they are my property,

and I will not hesitate
to sue for damages.

- Kash.
- They have immense sentimental value and...

I know.

I thought I could just move forward, but...

...this is really sad.

Well, yeah, we broke up.

Yeah, but I did the breaking off.

I'm supposed to feel new and free like a...

...like a sexy spring lamb.

Well, it's sad when things end.

Even if your boyfriend
was terrible and dumb

and held you time captive
to stop you from breaking up with him.

God, it gets worse
every time I try and describe it.

- Do you...
- How do...

So, we both...

I don't know why we're laughing.

Oh, we're going to be okay.

I lied to you. You lied to me.
Isn't lying bad?

Yes. Except when we do it
for a good reason.

Right!

No. Hmm.

I don't really care about the pants.
It's just...

Well, it's just, at first,
it's me throwing away a pair of pants,

but then it's me moving out,
and then I stop getting invited to things,

and then you all forget about me.

You don't have to move.
We can figure something out.

Are you sure?

We can't live in the past.

But why didn't you tell me?

I'm afraid of you.

Okay, but more than that.

And, uh, I'm scared it might ruin this.

And that's why you didn't tell me.

Which is a good thing because...

We actually care enough
to lie to each other.

Do you know how much effort that is
to go to for a relationship?

Normally I don't even travel
outside of Zone 2.

So really, this is a good thing.

No. No, no, no, no, no.

This is the worst thing
that has ever happened to me.

I hate it. I hate it so much. Actually...

Think I'm gonna be sick.

They're coming.

It's okay. We both know.

Jen threw up.

Hey, don't tell them that.

Why do I hate looking at you now?

My hair!

I-I forgot. Is it bad?

I'm definitely not your boyfriend
anymore, right?

Oh, my God, it's bad.

It's really bad, Carrie. It's disgusting.

Honestly? The worst thing I've ever seen.

Uh, turn back time. Fix it.
Fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it.

Right, okay. It's been awhile.

Try to push for a new PB.

Five minutes.

Maybe if I cut it more to even it out.

Do you think she's pretty?
I swear, I really don't care. I promise.

- Yeah, she is.
- Oh. Well.

Why don't you just go and marry her
again then if I'm so repulsive to you?

You're pretty too.

Okay, so now I'll just cut more
on this side to even it up.

Oh, you should write poetry.

Well, that's new.

Okay and now this side's shorter.
That's okay. I'll just cut it even more.

I think I can make it work.

Okay, give me the scissors.

Just to check. There's no other massively
important things you want to tell me

- before I meet your secret wife?
- No.

Daddy! Daddy!

Oh, yeah. One more thing.

Breakup?

Someone said I could pull it off.

Been there.