All language subtitles for The Neighbors (2012) S01E02 Journey to the Center of the Mall (1080p AMZN Webrip x265 10bit EAC3 5.1 - TheSickle)[TAoE]_track3_[eng]

Previously on "The neighbors...

(man) these are the weavers.
This is their new house,

And these are
Their new neighbors.

I'm larry bird,
Leader of this community

And immediate neighbor
To your west.

We're just living amidst
Golf cart-driving pie makers

With names of
Professional athletes.

I'm sure there's an explanation
For this.

(screaming)
We hope that you will
Consider staying.

We believe there's much
We could learn from one another.

(cart whirring)

Hey. You're looking good,
Johnny unitas.

Feeling good, marty weaver.

Oh, you've lost
Some body mass.

Yeah, a little bit.
Thank you for noticing.

Would be impossible not to!

Johnny u.!

A nice brisk pace you're keeping
There, debbie weaver!
(alpaca belches)

Oh! Doing what I can,
Mary lou retton!

You are a shining example
For females of all species!

Oh. Just trying
Not to get a fat ass.

Well, then
You're certainly succeeding!
(alpaca belches)

Mary lou! Mmm!

Admit it.

I like it here.

You love it here.
I love it here!

(larry) hello, weavers.

Hey!
Mommy!

Larry, what the hell
Are you doing?

Oh, what got we came for,
So it's time for us to go.

Just to clarify--your children.
We came for your children.

Mommy!

Aah!

Marty!

Honey, they're not
Gonna steal the kids.

Marty!
Getting dressed.

We have
A few more questions.

You ask a question,
We will answer it.

As we have each morning
This week

Following every one
Of your sleepmares.

It's "Nightmare," larry.

You're telling me.

Please. Ask your questions,
Debbie weaver.

So you have no intentions
Of kidnapping our children?

No.

No alien mind-melding,
No body-snatching,

No plans to abduct, say, max.

Well, if we were to abduct
One of your children,

It certainly wouldn't be max.

Larry bird.
Well, he can barely do math.

But he's so cute.
Are you actively trying
To convince them?

You have my word,
As a mother.

We would never do anything
To harm you or your children.

Any other questions you've
Thought of since yesterday?

Yes. Can--can...

Does your planet have
An atmosphere?
Yes.

Can I breathe
Without a helmet?
No.

Is there water on your planet?
Yes.

Do you bathe in it?
No.

Do you drink it?
Yes.

Do you eat it?
No.

Does your planet have a moon?
Yes.

Does it have rings?
Yes.

How many rings?
Five.

Are we like ants to you?
Yes.

Is god real?
Next question.

Did you see the movie
"The transformers,"

And if you did, do you think
It's realistic?

Because I think that michael bay
Really knows something. I do.

(whispers) how does he know
About michael bay?

Shh.

There she is again.

I swear,
She is always watching us.

Honey, so what?
Neighbors are weird.

It's like, uh, you know,
A law of life.

Not all neighbors are
From another planet.

Yeah, that's true. Guys!

So this is your last weekend
Of freedom, huh?

You ready for your new school?

Yeah!

Abby, what is up
With the screaming?

(marty) come on, max.

Hey. What about you, amber.
Are you excited for school?

Yes, mother.

Are you being sarcastic?

Yes, mother.

And why are we being sarcastic
This morning?

I don't know.
I don't know.

Maybe it has something to do
With the fact

That I spent the last two years
Trying to be accepted

By popular kids
At my old school,

And now I have to
Start over again,

All while living next
To the cast of "District 9."

So I don't know.

If you're detecting
A hint of sarcasm,

Maybe it has something
To do with that.

Do you have anything?

I didn't see "District 9."
Was it good?

It's not bad. The effects
Are actually pretty cool.

Awesome.
Yeah.

Perfect.

I'd like to see "District 9"
With you, amber.

Thank you. I'd sooner die.

(refrigerator door closes)

Oh. There she is again.

She's always watching us.

Ignore them. They're animals.

I wish you wouldn't be so casual
About this, husband.

What if they tell someone?

Oh, they're our neighbors.

They're already so ill at ease
With us.

Oh, honestly, wife,
I'm ill at ease with them.

Take that husband.
His name escapes me.

Marty.

Oh, yes. Marty.
How you doing, marty? Ugh.

Are they for real with those
Names, jackie joyner-kersee?

Ugh.

And take that household--

The both of them always yelling
At those filthy children.

Ugh. The--the house does seem
A little chaotic.

I say the less time our family
Spend with theirs, the better.

May be too late, husband.
If you've noticed,

Reggie jackson's already
Swooning over the teenager.

And dick is following the little
Ones 'round mindlessly.

(sighs)
Husband,
Dick and reggie jackson

Have already started
Asking about school.

Our children
In their school system?

Come on, pumpkin. Please.

I don't know.

Maybe if we'd chosen
Friendlier accents,

They'd be less wary of us.

I like the accent.
I'm keeping mine.

(imitates german accent)
Well, I could change mine,

No, it's too sexy.

(imitates southeast asian
Accent) is this one

A little bit better?

Oh, that's way too sexy.

(imitates french accent)
Perhaps I go with something

A little more--
No, that's annoying.

(imitates russian accent) what
About russian? You like russian?
Mnh-mnh.

Posiblemente
Un idioma diferente.
No.

(imitates southeast asian
Accent) you're

Absolutely positive
That this one is too--

(pants) it's way too sexy.

(doorbell rings)
(normal voice) sorry.

Greetings, marty weaver.

How you doing, dick butkus?
That's, uh...

That's quite the outfit
You have there.

I require your assistance.
Do you have a first aid kit?

Dick, what's the matter?

My brother reggie jackson and I

Wish to begin attending
Human schools.

I was hoping you might help us
Convince our parental unit.

Why do you need
A first aid kit, dick?

I have what your children
Might refer to as a boo-boo.

It's unrelated.

Oh.

This is absurd.

Our children receive a perfectly
Thorough education at home.

Husband, we may be here
Indefinitely.

I think socializing
With others their age

Might be good
For our loin fruit.

(whispers) wife.

(whispers) husband.

(normal voice) wife.

(normal voice) husband.
Wife!

Husband!

Husband.

Oh, no,
I don't want to do that.

I think
It would be a good idea

For their...

Loin fruit

To start socializing
With our... Loin fruit.

What do you think?

(lowered voice)
Well, I think that, uh,

You've been having nightmares
All week,

So I don't know why you'd want
To get involved here.

(lowered voice) because
The better they know us,

The harder it will be for them
To eat us.

Remember that thanksgiving
When we had the live turkey,

How hard it was
To eat mr. Cluckles?

Right,
But we still ate him.

(singsongy)
But it was hard.

Mm.

We have made a decision.

We have? What's happening?

And why are you two whispering
So loudly? Is that a thing?

Earth is our home now,
Like it or not.

Our children must learn
Their ways.

Reggie jackson and dick butkus
Will attend school.

Huzzah!
Huzzah!

Excuse me. Old weavers,

At school,
Is there anything we must do

So we do not draw attention
To ourselves?

Some new clothes
Might not hurt.
Yeah.

You're saying that their golf
Clothes meant to help them blend

Into this golf community make
Them look like zabvronians?

No. She's saying, yeah,
It makes them look like nerds.

Marty! (scoffs)

No, it--

It makes them look like nerds.
Nerds.

I don't want
To look like a nerd!

Exactly. He must not
Look like a nerd.

Oh, don't worry, honey.
We'll help you.

(lowered voice)
Honey, the asian one maybe,

But the little redhead
I think is beyond help.

That's what neighbors do.
They help each other out.

They look out for one another.
They do not abduct one another.

Oh, would you get off it? We
Don't want your dumb children.

They're not dumb.
No.

A little slow, not dumb.

You know what? This will be
A bonding experience.

This will be fun.
We'll go shopping!

You know what, guys? Come on.

Give your newly progressive
Parents a round of applause.

No. No. Don't clap.
They'll turn into--

Ooh.

Yep, they're gonna
Blend right in.

(max) shut up!
(abby) mom,
Max told me to shut up!

(marty) load it up, troops.
Let's go!
I'm going to the mall with
My parents. You better believe

I'm walking out of there
With some serious gear.
I want gear!

Abby, stop screaming!

Max, stop yelling
At your sister.

Max! Everyone's miserable.

It's called being a family.
Get in the car.

My fellow zabvronians,

It is with great displeasure
That I must inform you

That today, my family will
Become the first among us

To leave the safe confines
Of this community.

It's a short journey, husband.
Please don't create a scene.

What is so important that we
Must take such a risk, you ask?

Do we need to acquire
Lifesaving resources?

No, we are well-stocked.

Must we intercede
In an intergalactic war?

No.

Possibly soon.

We will make
This dangerous journey

So that we might travel
To a human shopping mall

In the hopes
Of acquiring clothing

That will prevent my children
From being deemed nerds.

(zabvronians)
Nerds. Nerds. Nerds.

Yes. Nerds.

If anyone has any thoughts
Or concerns,

Now would be the time.

Oh, which mall?
I really don't know.

Garden state plaza?
I don't know.

Paramus park mall?

Look,
You're missing the point.

Dominique wilkins,
Step forward.

Oh. Excuse me.

Should anything happen to me,
You are in charge.

Please don't look so excited.

Nothing is
Going to happen to me.

You made it seem
Pretty dangerous.

Marty weaver,

You and I will ride
In the lead cart.

No. No. No. Larry, you can't go
To the mall in the golf carts.

Then... (laughs)

How will we travel?

Try and relax, larry.

I propose you come for a ride
In my spacecraft,

And just as I prepare to
Lift off, you try and relax.

Okay, fair enough.
Are we ready to go?

(crying) this is a mistake.
Lord of zabvron, preserve us.

We're gonna die.
We're all gonna die!

Marty, start the car.
Okay.

(zabvronians screaming)

(screaming continues)

(click)

(christopher cross)
♪ sailing ♪
(zabvronians stop screaming)

We have to remember
That trick.

♪ ...To where I've always ♪

Okay. Here we go.

(zabvronians cheer)

See, guys,
It's not so bad, huh?

Larry, just relax.

I know leaving the community
Can be scary, but it'll be fine.

No force field?
No missile detection?

This thing's a death trap.

Larry, this beauty is literally
The safest car on the road.

Aah!
(all scream)

(brakes squeal)

(indistinct conversations)

I'm--I'm fine. I'm fine.

If he doesn't recover, you're
In charge, kareem abdul-jabbar.

Understood.

Don't get ahead of yourself,
Kareem.

I'm fine.

Thank goodness. I'm glad.

(mouths words)

It's like a planet unto itself.

And this is all considered
A mall?

Remarkable!
Just remarkable!

I think we should
Just keep 'em--

Yeah, okay, guys,
Let's go.
Okay.

All righty.

Ladies first.

Preposterous.

Oh...

My...

God.

(choir vocalizing)

♪♪♪

All right. I'm bored.

Money.

All right, but listen to me.
You meet us back here

In one hour, and no more
Than a hundred dollars.

Lame. Make more money.

Get a job.
Reggie!

And you will let her
Wander the mall alone?

Well, jackie, shopping for
Clothing for your 16-year-old--

It's like entering a war

That you have no possibility
Of winning.

It's vietnam, jackie.

You may come out alive,
But you're not

Coming out with your sanity.
Back me up here, marty.

It takes two days to recover
When they shop together.

There's a lot of yelling
And there's a lot of crying,

And then it goes quiet,

But it's a bad quiet.

It's a scary kind of quiet.

After about a day of this,

She screams, "I'm fat!"

And she says,
"No, you're not fat,"

And she says, "I am too fat."

And it goes back and forth
And back and forth

Until they make up,
But it does not change the fact

That six months has been taken
Off of my life.

So yeah, we're gonna let her
Wander the mall alone.

Ooh!

Stay here. Don't move.
Max, hold your sister's hand.

I'll be right back.

She's moving so fast.

When mom shops,
She goes to a different place,

Ms. Joyner-kersee.

It's best just
To stay out of her way.

She's like a machine.

Stop it.

Makes me look fat,
Makes me look stupid,

Makes me look like a hooker...

Oaky, this one's a maybe.

I think you would look great
In anything.

Reggie.

Do you honestly think
I'm pretty?

I think--
I don't mean
Pretty on the inside

Like the fat kardashian.
I mean pretty pretty.

Because I don't feel
Very pretty.

I feel like a 7 1/2,
Maybe an 8 if I'm tan,

But I want to be a 9.

Reggie, I can't walk
Into a new school

And become instantly popular
Unless I'm at least a 9,

So do you think that I'm pretty
Pretty, like a 9 pretty,

Or pretty on the inside
Like the fat kardashian?

I think that you,
Amber weaver,

Are the most beautiful girl
That I have--

Okay, you know what, reggie?
I'm gonna need a number.

Will I be wearing these
At some point?

She'll get tired soon.

Then you pick four shirts,
Call it a day.

Max! You're supposed to
Hold my hand!

I don't want to hold your hand,
Abby!

And stop screaming!

I'll hold your hand, abby.

Great. You two hold hands.

I'm gonna go check out
Some long-sleeved tees.

You look sad.

I am sad.

Because your brother
Was mean to you?

May I ask you something,
Abby?

If it bothers him so much
When you scream,

Why do you scream so much?

Well, because it's the only time
He really notices me.

So humans toil all week

So they can spend
Their hard-earned wages

On unnecessary
Articles of clothing?

It's not unnecessary, larry.
Ooh, a peacoat.

I don't understand.

I don't understand any of--
Whoa!

His arm. His arm fell off.

(bleep)
Easy, larry.

(gasps)
Easy.

Why don't you sit down?

All right, listen,
You're having a rough day.

You know what you should do?
You should try on a jacket.

A nice, crisp, new jacket.
Nothing makes a guy feel better

Than trying on
A nice, crisp, new jacket.

I'm not like you,
Marty weaver.

I don't want my children
To go to school

Or hang out
In this horrific mall alone.

I enjoy my children.

I don't--
I like being with them.

Listen, I like being
With my kids, too.

It's just...

You know, you gotta let 'em
Grow up, buddy.
(sighs)

I get it. Hell, amber's only
A few years away from college.

Well, actually, she's two years
Away from college.

Amber's two years away
From college.

When the hell
Did that happen?

When did any
Of this happen?

Well, our babies are
Growing up, larry.

Oh. Oh.

Oh, look at us. Huh?
Would you believe this?

Two grown males embracing

In the middle
Of the republic of bananas.

(strained voice) help.

No, no.

Pace it up, dude.
We've got one hour.

If you can't keep up,
That's on you.

Pi.

What?

Your number.

One through ten, you wanted
A number, so I say pi.

It's 3.14159, and it goes on
And on forever.

So basically you're saying
I'm a 3?

♪♪♪

I'm saying you're infinity,
Amber.

You are so weird.

Why are you doing this?

What? All the corduroy?

I don't know.
There's just something about

Your son in denim
That really spooks me.

It's a little too
"Children of the corn-y."

N-no, I mean, why--
Why are you helping us?

Truth?

I need to know
You're not dangerous.

I want you to get
To know us better

So that it will be harder
For you to eat us.

Sorry.

Us eat you?

You're the ones
Who enjoy finger foods

And order kids' meals.

What are kids' meals?
Are they made from kids?

Wow. I guess I never thought how
Weird this must be for you guys.

Oh, god. You're not answering
The kids' meals question.

No. No.
They're not made from kids.

I mean, no one knows
What they're made from,

But it's not kids.

What about baby back ribs?

Oh, honey. No.

No.

I have sleepmares, too,
Debbie weaver.

What--what
If you tell someone?

What if my children go to school
And get revealed?

I want my family to learn
From your world,

But please know that I, too,
Sit awake in my pod at night,

Worrying that I'm doing
The wrong thing.

We're mothers, jackie.
It's our job to worry.

Well, I trust you,
Debbie weaver,

And I hope one day soon,
You will trust me, too.

And I hope that we'll both
Be able to get some sleep.

Mothers don't sleep. They just
Worry with their eyes closed.

So a manwich is--
No.

Oh.
No.

Hey.

You were gone for quite
Some time, max weaver.

♪♪♪

Sorry.

It's okay.

Here.

♪♪♪

Wonderful. Just wonderful.

♪♪♪

We have good kids.

We have the best kids.

They're getting too big, though.
We have to enjoy them more.

I know.

They just make it so damn hard
Sometimes.

Wait. Where's larry bird?

You were right about
The new jacket, marty.

I feel much better.

Zabvronians,

It has been three hours.

It is time to prepare
For my new regime.

Here is my charter.

On day one, I will set up
A system of punishment

For late payment
Of homeowners dues.

Behold!

Please no larry bird.
Please no larry bird.

(choir vocalizing)

Damn it.

Eat it, dominique wilkins.