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1
00:00:06,806 --> 00:00:09,604
"The Snuke"
2
00:00:09,639 --> 00:00:13,091
I'm going down to South Park,gonna have myself a time,
3
00:00:13,126 --> 00:00:16,350
Friendly faces everywhere,humble folks without temptation,
4
00:00:16,381 --> 00:00:19,693
I'm goin out to South Park,gonna leave my woes behind,
5
00:00:19,709 --> 00:00:23,040
Ample parking day or night,people spouting howdy neighbor,
6
00:00:23,072 --> 00:00:26,153
I'm heading out to South Park,gonna see if I can't unwind,
7
00:00:26,262 --> 00:00:29,771
I like fucking silly bitches
and I know my penis likes it.
8
00:00:29,806 --> 00:00:32,759
So come on down to South Parkand meet some friends of mine,
9
00:00:39,443 --> 00:00:41,781
All right, students,
let's take our seats.
10
00:00:42,082 --> 00:00:46,348
Everyone try to be nice because
we have a new student joining us today,
11
00:00:46,857 --> 00:00:49,434
and I know you'll all
make him feel welcome.
12
00:00:50,266 --> 00:00:54,533
Say hello to Bahir Hassan
Abdul Hakeem.
13
00:00:56,114 --> 00:00:57,098
Uh-oh.
14
00:00:57,841 --> 00:01:00,588
- Welcome to our class, Bahir.
- Thank you.
15
00:01:00,795 --> 00:01:02,261
Dude, dude, not cool!
16
00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:04,915
Why don't you take a seat
in Kyle's empty desk for now?
17
00:01:05,144 --> 00:01:05,672
Okay.
18
00:01:11,414 --> 00:01:13,122
Eric, what the hell
is wrong with you?!
19
00:01:13,470 --> 00:01:14,397
What's wrong?
20
00:01:15,651 --> 00:01:18,386
- Has he been checked for bombs?
- Eric, that's enough!
21
00:01:18,513 --> 00:01:20,833
Not all Muslim people
are terrorists!
22
00:01:21,012 --> 00:01:24,200
No, but most of them are.
And all it takes is most of them.
23
00:01:30,182 --> 00:01:31,417
Now you go, Bahir.
24
00:01:45,601 --> 00:01:47,485
- Yeah?
- Kyle, are you on your computer?
25
00:01:47,722 --> 00:01:50,168
- What? No, I'm sick.
- Get online.
26
00:01:50,169 --> 00:01:51,309
I need you
to check something for me.
27
00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:52,742
Dude, leave me alone.
28
00:01:52,982 --> 00:01:55,224
Kyle, every one of our friends
might be in serious danger!
29
00:01:55,692 --> 00:01:58,240
- What? Why?
- Get online now!
30
00:01:58,401 --> 00:01:59,184
All right, all right.
31
00:02:02,262 --> 00:02:05,858
Go to MySpace. See if there's
a MySpace page for a Bahir Hakeem.
32
00:02:07,533 --> 00:02:08,537
"Bahir Hakeem."
33
00:02:08,566 --> 00:02:11,606
Born in Chicago, eight years old,
his favorite color is green.
34
00:02:12,032 --> 00:02:13,244
Cartman,
what is this all about?
35
00:02:13,279 --> 00:02:14,853
Kyle, I want you to check
his buddy list.
36
00:02:14,914 --> 00:02:16,639
How many MySpace friends
does he have?
37
00:02:17,152 --> 00:02:17,955
Over a hundred.
38
00:02:18,302 --> 00:02:20,312
Look further down the page.
Does he list his favorite band?
39
00:02:21,392 --> 00:02:22,293
White Stripes.
40
00:02:23,153 --> 00:02:24,642
- That's funny.
- What?
41
00:02:24,754 --> 00:02:27,405
He told everyone in class today
his favorite band was Blink 182.
42
00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:36,253
The following takes place betweenrecess and Geography class.
43
00:02:39,481 --> 00:02:40,145
Hello?
44
00:02:40,732 --> 00:02:43,456
Officer Barbrady, South Park Elementary
is in serious danger!
45
00:02:44,313 --> 00:02:45,947
From what?
Who is this?
46
00:02:46,004 --> 00:02:46,969
I've just ID'd
a Muslim
47
00:02:47,004 --> 00:02:48,788
and his MySpace page
does not check out.
48
00:02:48,932 --> 00:02:50,637
You've got to get these
people out of here now!
49
00:02:51,832 --> 00:02:53,165
Are you serious?
50
00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,305
If I wasn't serious,
would I be talking like this?
51
00:02:55,693 --> 00:02:56,607
Like what?
52
00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:58,999
Whispering, but whispering really
loudly for dramatic effect.
53
00:02:59,032 --> 00:03:00,487
Oh jeez.
54
00:03:04,062 --> 00:03:05,238
What the hell?
55
00:03:05,272 --> 00:03:08,642
All students are to evacuatethe school immediately!
56
00:03:13,344 --> 00:03:15,143
Hey, Bahir, since
we get to go home,
57
00:03:15,203 --> 00:03:16,894
you wanna come over
play checkers?
58
00:03:17,222 --> 00:03:19,211
- Sure, okay.
- All right!
59
00:03:21,611 --> 00:03:22,197
Dude.
60
00:03:26,124 --> 00:03:26,783
Yeah.
61
00:03:26,818 --> 00:03:29,312
Dude, I just got an IM from Stan
that they evacuated the school.
62
00:03:29,342 --> 00:03:31,287
Yeah. Now do you believe me
that something is going on?!
63
00:03:31,443 --> 00:03:32,294
I guess so.
64
00:03:32,329 --> 00:03:34,419
Yeah, well I don't like it!
It doesn't follow!
65
00:03:34,452 --> 00:03:35,350
What doesn't follow?
66
00:03:35,385 --> 00:03:37,058
Why would a terrorist
just blow up a school?
67
00:03:37,061 --> 00:03:38,973
It's not their M.O.
unless...
68
00:03:40,343 --> 00:03:43,619
Oh my God! Unless this was
all just a big diversion.
69
00:03:44,381 --> 00:03:46,940
Kyle, I need you to Google-search
the South Park Chamber of Commerce!
70
00:03:47,082 --> 00:03:47,914
Okay.
71
00:03:47,942 --> 00:03:49,304
Their website should have
a calendar of events.
72
00:03:49,364 --> 00:03:51,081
Is there anything big
going on in town today?
73
00:03:51,733 --> 00:03:53,618
- Yeah. Actually, there is.
- What?
74
00:03:53,841 --> 00:03:55,546
There's a Hillary Clinton
campaign rally.
75
00:03:56,871 --> 00:03:58,602
Cartman? Cartman?
76
00:04:01,721 --> 00:04:03,404
Sir! There's somebody
calling in saying
77
00:04:03,405 --> 00:04:05,087
there's going
to be a terrorist attack
78
00:04:05,091 --> 00:04:06,967
on the Hillary Clinton
rally today.
79
00:04:07,002 --> 00:04:10,490
What? This is CIA head,
Alan Thompson.
80
00:04:10,742 --> 00:04:12,753
Mr. Thompson, you have to call off
the Clinton rally!
81
00:04:12,813 --> 00:04:14,313
There's a terrorist
in South Park!
82
00:04:14,443 --> 00:04:15,100
What do you know?
83
00:04:15,251 --> 00:04:16,388
He just showed up
out of the blue!
84
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:18,214
I need to speak with
the President right away!
85
00:04:18,283 --> 00:04:20,734
I'm the head of the CIA!
You can tell me!
86
00:04:20,793 --> 00:04:22,541
I said I will only talk
to the President!
87
00:04:22,623 --> 00:04:25,027
Look, if you have information
of a threat, you could--
88
00:04:25,894 --> 00:04:27,449
I will have you
arrested for--
89
00:04:27,491 --> 00:04:29,050
I can't hear you!
Only the president!
90
00:04:32,883 --> 00:04:34,608
Call is coming through now,
Mr. President.
91
00:04:34,702 --> 00:04:35,255
Hello?
92
00:04:35,326 --> 00:04:36,732
President Bush,
it's Eric Cartman.
93
00:04:36,923 --> 00:04:39,232
- Are we on a secure line?
- Huh? Who?
94
00:04:39,281 --> 00:04:40,663
Look, I know you're not
the biggest Hildog fan,
95
00:04:40,713 --> 00:04:42,337
but she is in great danger
right now!
96
00:04:42,523 --> 00:04:43,291
Hildog?
97
00:04:47,493 --> 00:04:50,203
Yes, I understand.
I'll let Ms. Clinton know.
98
00:04:50,763 --> 00:04:51,817
What is it, Brian?
99
00:04:52,071 --> 00:04:53,389
Ms. Clinton,
we just received word
100
00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:55,749
of a possible terrorist attack
on your rally today.
101
00:04:56,514 --> 00:04:57,811
Is the threat credible?
102
00:04:58,034 --> 00:05:00,722
We aren't sure, but perhaps
it's best we call it off.
103
00:05:00,812 --> 00:05:04,217
No. No, I will not be bullied
by terrorist threats.
104
00:05:04,403 --> 00:05:06,037
Your men
do a good job, Brian.
105
00:05:06,072 --> 00:05:08,841
I have faith that any thread will
be taken care of accordingly.
106
00:05:09,493 --> 00:05:11,218
We've reached
the rally site, Hildog.
107
00:05:14,852 --> 00:05:17,438
Don't worry, Mrs. Clinton,
I'm sure everything will be fine.
108
00:05:17,593 --> 00:05:18,519
Thank you, Chris.
109
00:05:22,683 --> 00:05:24,285
They know
about the bomb!
110
00:05:25,734 --> 00:05:26,884
That is impossible!
111
00:05:26,951 --> 00:05:29,848
We took every measure to assure
the bomb was hidden from sight.
112
00:05:30,192 --> 00:05:32,338
Well, somebody tipped off
the CIA.
113
00:05:32,614 --> 00:05:35,500
I don't know how much they know,
but security has been heightened.
114
00:05:35,632 --> 00:05:38,547
That bomb must travel with
the Clinton rally to Boston!
115
00:05:38,851 --> 00:05:40,852
The bomb won't make it
to Boston now!
116
00:05:41,221 --> 00:05:42,327
With the heightened security,
117
00:05:42,362 --> 00:05:44,226
it's only a matter of time
before they find it!
118
00:05:45,274 --> 00:05:49,166
Then we have no choice.
We have to move up the attack.
119
00:05:49,403 --> 00:05:52,131
- I understand, comrade.
- Prepare yourself.
120
00:05:52,393 --> 00:05:55,666
We detonate the bomb
within the hour.
121
00:06:00,803 --> 00:06:03,314
Kyle, I'm at the Clinton rally site,
but there's no sign of that kid!
122
00:06:03,752 --> 00:06:06,355
- So then maybe you're wrong.
- Nope, I'm not wrong.
123
00:06:06,474 --> 00:06:08,194
He must be somehow attacking
remotely from his house.
124
00:06:08,229 --> 00:06:09,187
Did you find the address?
125
00:06:09,272 --> 00:06:11,920
Yeah. I cross-referenced his
MySpace page with Realtor.com.
126
00:06:12,064 --> 00:06:14,269
His parents moved into
that green house on Janice Street.
127
00:06:14,412 --> 00:06:16,156
Jesus, that's on
the other side of town.
128
00:06:16,193 --> 00:06:17,499
All right, Kyle, I'm going
to take a picture
129
00:06:17,534 --> 00:06:18,729
with my camera phone
and upload it to you.
130
00:06:18,731 --> 00:06:19,917
- You ready?
- Yeah.
131
00:06:25,143 --> 00:06:27,510
- What is that?
- It's my balls!
132
00:06:28,813 --> 00:06:29,947
Goddamnit Cartman!
133
00:06:30,503 --> 00:06:32,236
Okay. Okay, Kyle,
let's stay focused here.
134
00:06:32,923 --> 00:06:35,028
People of South Park,
it is my honor
135
00:06:35,063 --> 00:06:38,539
to introduce a woman who
deserves nothing but respect.
136
00:06:38,593 --> 00:06:40,631
Mrs. Hillary Rodham Clinton!
137
00:06:44,964 --> 00:06:51,094
It is so nice to be back in a small town
like the one I came from.
138
00:06:52,853 --> 00:06:54,013
Hildog!
139
00:06:55,703 --> 00:06:57,706
Otis Green, anything
on that bomb threat?
140
00:06:57,822 --> 00:07:00,197
We have the bomb-smiffing pig
going through the crowd.
141
00:07:00,424 --> 00:07:02,324
If there is a bomb,
the pig will find it.
142
00:07:06,044 --> 00:07:09,640
This is why I campaign
in small towns like these!
143
00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:15,299
Because it is in towns like South Park
that you find the true America!
144
00:07:21,031 --> 00:07:23,220
- Oh my God, she got a scent!
- What?
145
00:07:23,392 --> 00:07:25,617
The pig is picking up the smell
of nuclear residue.
146
00:07:25,731 --> 00:07:27,229
Terrorists
have hidden a bomb!
147
00:07:27,263 --> 00:07:30,009
Oh my God! Where?
Where could they have stashed it?
148
00:07:30,013 --> 00:07:31,997
Come on, find it.
Find!
149
00:07:32,034 --> 00:07:33,836
My God, they hid it
under the stage?!
150
00:07:33,863 --> 00:07:34,913
No wait, look.
151
00:07:34,953 --> 00:07:37,758
How much money do we have to waste
on needless spending
152
00:07:37,762 --> 00:07:40,293
when we should be focusing
all our attention on...
153
00:07:42,923 --> 00:07:44,521
on the education of all--
154
00:07:46,193 --> 00:07:47,212
Whoa, there, girl.
155
00:07:48,592 --> 00:07:50,944
On the education
of all children.
156
00:07:53,311 --> 00:07:54,858
Oh, I declare!
157
00:07:54,943 --> 00:07:55,871
Oh my God.
158
00:07:56,615 --> 00:07:59,826
Do you think they could have hidden
a nuclear device up Mrs. Clinton's...
159
00:08:01,001 --> 00:08:03,828
Mr. Thompson, that kid who called
in the warning was right!
160
00:08:03,994 --> 00:08:07,010
We uncovered intel that terrorists
have obtained a nuclear device
161
00:08:07,071 --> 00:08:09,994
and that they have most likely
hidden it in Mrs. Clinton's...
162
00:08:10,891 --> 00:08:13,125
- Well, in her...
- In her what?
163
00:08:14,382 --> 00:08:17,331
- In her snatch, sir.
- What?!
164
00:08:17,871 --> 00:08:20,372
What is going on?
I wasn't finished.
165
00:08:20,377 --> 00:08:22,649
Security measure, Mrs. Clinton.
Probably nothing.
166
00:08:23,746 --> 00:08:24,426
Yes?
167
00:08:24,511 --> 00:08:27,296
Mr. Jeffries, this is Alan Thompson
with the CIA.
168
00:08:27,405 --> 00:08:29,326
We have reason to believe
that Mrs. Clinton
169
00:08:29,356 --> 00:08:32,432
may have a nuclear device
up her snatch.
170
00:08:32,674 --> 00:08:34,609
- A what?!
- A snatch.
171
00:08:34,642 --> 00:08:36,601
It's the technical term
for vagina.
172
00:08:36,660 --> 00:08:39,000
No, I mean what kind
of nuclear device?
173
00:08:40,093 --> 00:08:42,051
Mr. Jeffries,
this is Frank Waters.
174
00:08:42,086 --> 00:08:45,425
It's a suitcase nuke, designed
to fit in a woman's snizz.
175
00:08:45,460 --> 00:08:46,849
It's called a snuke.
176
00:08:47,344 --> 00:08:48,816
What is going on, Brian?
177
00:08:49,024 --> 00:08:52,472
Ms. Clinton, it appears that terrorists
have snuck a snuke up your snizz.
178
00:08:53,183 --> 00:08:54,469
Oh my!
179
00:08:54,513 --> 00:08:56,634
What can we do?
Can we disable the timer?
180
00:08:56,684 --> 00:08:58,018
It won't have a timer.
181
00:08:58,062 --> 00:08:59,716
Snukes are detonated remotely.
182
00:08:59,787 --> 00:09:02,167
Whoever our terrorist is
has a detonator with him.
183
00:09:02,361 --> 00:09:03,657
But then that means...
184
00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:05,755
Yes. If we don't find
that detonator,
185
00:09:05,790 --> 00:09:08,705
everyone in the town of
South Park is going to die.
186
00:09:09,812 --> 00:09:11,295
Forever.
187
00:09:22,927 --> 00:09:25,829
- Do we have that phone trace?
- The call is going through now, sir.
188
00:09:27,418 --> 00:09:29,672
- Yeah?
- This is CIA head Alan Thompson.
189
00:09:29,677 --> 00:09:31,583
- We spoke before about the--
- Yes, Mr. Thompson?
190
00:09:31,616 --> 00:09:34,380
- Well, we've just arrived in your town.
- Why? Did you find something?
191
00:09:34,465 --> 00:09:37,893
Yes. There's a suitcase nuke
in Ms. Clinton's snizz.
192
00:09:38,795 --> 00:09:40,892
- A snuke?
- That's right.
193
00:09:40,926 --> 00:09:42,860
It's controlled
by a remote detonator.
194
00:09:42,895 --> 00:09:45,279
We have to locate the terrorist
before he sets it off.
195
00:09:45,314 --> 00:09:47,321
I have the address of the house
the terrorist moved into.
196
00:09:47,356 --> 00:09:48,614
I'm almost there now,
where are you?
197
00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:51,523
We're on the town's main street,
right by an ice cream shop.
198
00:09:51,605 --> 00:09:53,800
Oh dude, I'm,
I'm right next to you.
199
00:09:54,555 --> 00:09:55,698
Oh, hey.
200
00:09:57,347 --> 00:09:58,890
Dude, we totally got
let out of school.
201
00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:00,795
I know.
Something big is going on.
202
00:10:00,856 --> 00:10:01,742
Take a look at this.
203
00:10:01,777 --> 00:10:04,258
I did a Google search for
"Hillary Clinton Campaign Rally", right?
204
00:10:04,388 --> 00:10:07,591
And one of the links was to YouTube, where
this Russian guy had a bunch of videos.
205
00:10:07,837 --> 00:10:10,716
- Russian?
- Yeah, this guy, Vladimir Stolfsky.
206
00:10:10,751 --> 00:10:12,624
He had videos on YouTube
of every single rally.
207
00:10:12,659 --> 00:10:14,441
So he's a Hillary Clinton fan.
208
00:10:14,487 --> 00:10:17,237
No. I cross-referenced
his YouTube profile with MySpace
209
00:10:17,272 --> 00:10:19,584
and according to his blog,
he's an old-school Communist.
210
00:10:19,617 --> 00:10:21,422
So what's he doing
at every Clinton rally?
211
00:10:22,168 --> 00:10:24,905
Do a WebCrawler search, maybe
he has podcasts up somewhere.
212
00:10:24,956 --> 00:10:25,908
Oh that's a good idea.
213
00:10:27,918 --> 00:10:30,098
What is going on?
What have we done?
214
00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:32,784
They claim they don't know anything
about an attack.
215
00:10:32,828 --> 00:10:33,848
Big surprise!
216
00:10:34,017 --> 00:10:37,352
Sir, first pass of the house, we didn't
find a snuke detonator anywhere.
217
00:10:37,658 --> 00:10:40,040
Mr. Akim, where is your son?
218
00:10:40,075 --> 00:10:42,399
We thought he was at school.
He's not at school?
219
00:10:44,488 --> 00:10:47,448
- You're doing great, Ms. Clinton.
- Do they know how long, Brian?
220
00:10:47,488 --> 00:10:49,938
How long before the snuke
in my snizz goes off?
221
00:10:50,228 --> 00:10:52,286
They'll find
the detonator, Hildog.
222
00:10:52,636 --> 00:10:54,904
We can't wait for them
to find the detonator.
223
00:10:54,939 --> 00:10:57,986
If we can get to the bomb,
maybe we can deactivate it.
224
00:10:58,021 --> 00:11:01,327
Can't somebody go and take a look
inside Mrs. Clinton's snizz?
225
00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:04,703
I'm not sending
any of my men in there.
226
00:11:06,106 --> 00:11:08,731
Are you almost ready
to set off the bomb?
227
00:11:08,768 --> 00:11:12,141
Everything is set. We have
the detonator up and running.
228
00:11:16,287 --> 00:11:18,999
Mr. Hakeem, we need
to know where your son is!
229
00:11:19,034 --> 00:11:20,983
I tell you,
I do not know.
230
00:11:23,127 --> 00:11:26,455
This is getting us nowhere.
If he knows anything, he's not saying.
231
00:11:26,605 --> 00:11:29,153
- Let me have time with him.
- What are you going to do?
232
00:11:29,185 --> 00:11:32,443
We have to find that detonator!
Let me have time with him!
233
00:11:34,905 --> 00:11:38,621
- You will tell me where your son is!
- He should be at school!
234
00:11:45,838 --> 00:11:47,120
Hey!
235
00:11:48,588 --> 00:11:51,822
- Where is the detonator?
- What detonator are you ta--
236
00:11:54,567 --> 00:11:57,864
- I can do this all day.
- I don't know anything about a--
237
00:12:01,838 --> 00:12:04,841
- Stop it! Really!
- You can make it stop!
238
00:12:04,867 --> 00:12:06,273
I don't have the--
239
00:12:09,015 --> 00:12:10,981
Are we just gonna
let this go on?
240
00:12:11,838 --> 00:12:14,036
Okay, I got a text of
the Russian guy's podcast.
241
00:12:14,071 --> 00:12:15,621
It's all a bunch of links
to eBay.
242
00:12:15,677 --> 00:12:17,212
You should be able to
search his username on eBay
243
00:12:17,273 --> 00:12:18,520
and see what he's been
buying and selling.
244
00:12:19,286 --> 00:12:22,012
Ferris, set up over there.
Two of you can take that bed area.
245
00:12:22,145 --> 00:12:24,211
- Hey!
- Donner, take over that station.
246
00:12:25,418 --> 00:12:26,418
What's going on?
247
00:12:26,453 --> 00:12:29,188
This apartment is being absorbed
by Homeland Security!
248
00:12:30,137 --> 00:12:31,376
Homeland Security?
249
00:12:31,548 --> 00:12:34,256
Look, your little game of going
over people's heads is over!
250
00:12:34,291 --> 00:12:37,287
You could still work, but from now on
you answer to me, you got that?
251
00:12:37,322 --> 00:12:39,712
- Excuse me, who's in charge here?
- I am!
252
00:12:39,746 --> 00:12:41,491
Yeah, well,
not anymore you're not.
253
00:12:41,526 --> 00:12:43,543
This department has just
been assigned to the FBI.
254
00:12:43,578 --> 00:12:47,012
- That's outrageous! On whose orders?
- On order of the Secretary of Defense!
255
00:12:47,015 --> 00:12:48,677
You had your shot,
now I'm in charge!
256
00:12:48,846 --> 00:12:52,000
Not anymore you're not!
Orders just came down from Central!
257
00:12:52,007 --> 00:12:54,163
They want ATF
handling this on all fronts!
258
00:12:54,187 --> 00:12:56,361
All right people, from now on
you're answering to me!
259
00:12:56,387 --> 00:12:59,190
Not anymore, they're not!
Orders from the President.
260
00:12:59,237 --> 00:13:01,461
He wants this handled
by his staff personally.
261
00:13:01,496 --> 00:13:03,132
Now Nelson is in charge.
262
00:13:03,167 --> 00:13:05,144
Not anymore I'm not!
263
00:13:08,117 --> 00:13:09,932
What are you going
to do to my wife?
264
00:13:09,967 --> 00:13:12,434
Nothing if you tell me
where your son is!
265
00:13:12,469 --> 00:13:14,238
We told you,
we don't know.
266
00:13:14,868 --> 00:13:16,177
Do you know
what this is?
267
00:13:17,645 --> 00:13:21,447
This is apple juice.
It gives me super bad farts.
268
00:13:22,947 --> 00:13:25,151
Did he just inject himself
with apple juice?
269
00:13:25,208 --> 00:13:27,620
- Where is your son?
- She doesn't know either.
270
00:13:30,346 --> 00:13:33,881
I mean it! Stop! That is disgusting!
Where is your mother?
271
00:13:38,105 --> 00:13:38,879
Answer it!
272
00:13:39,936 --> 00:13:43,116
Hello? Hello Bahir.
Where are you?
273
00:13:44,186 --> 00:13:46,462
- Who is Butters?
- Butters.
274
00:13:46,758 --> 00:13:49,618
Bahir, one of your classmates
is keeping us hostage.
275
00:13:51,988 --> 00:13:54,292
You filthy little rapscallion!
276
00:13:54,518 --> 00:13:55,970
We got him!
I know where he is!
277
00:13:56,005 --> 00:13:57,873
All right, where?
We'll send our people in.
278
00:13:57,918 --> 00:14:00,459
- No, no, he's my lead.
- You're not going alone.
279
00:14:00,888 --> 00:14:02,617
You blow in there and
you risk taking him down
280
00:14:02,652 --> 00:14:03,924
without finding the detonator!
281
00:14:03,959 --> 00:14:05,542
I'm going to find out
where it is!
282
00:14:06,538 --> 00:14:10,118
All right, people, I'm in charge now
and we will find these terrorists.
283
00:14:10,153 --> 00:14:12,821
Jarvis, I want you to check for
any terrorist chatter on AOL.
284
00:14:13,045 --> 00:14:16,697
Marley and Greggs, try searching
for nuclear devices on AskJeeves.com.
285
00:14:17,187 --> 00:14:19,993
Ask Jeeves? Nobody uses Ask Jeeves!
Just Google-search it!
286
00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:21,592
Are you telling me
how to do my job?
287
00:14:21,627 --> 00:14:22,313
Yes.
288
00:14:22,345 --> 00:14:24,321
There's a Russian guy named
Vladimir Stolfsky
289
00:14:24,326 --> 00:14:26,151
who's got search engine hits
all over this thing.
290
00:14:26,186 --> 00:14:28,362
Chase, search the name
Stolfsky on YouTube
291
00:14:28,397 --> 00:14:30,351
and cross-reference it
with JDate!
292
00:14:30,475 --> 00:14:31,352
Checking.
293
00:14:31,387 --> 00:14:33,272
Look, these Russian guys all have blogs
talking about this
294
00:14:33,276 --> 00:14:35,589
like it's just some big diversion
for something much bigger!
295
00:14:35,666 --> 00:14:39,131
Sir, these kids are right. We've just
received intel that Russian terrorists
296
00:14:39,135 --> 00:14:41,218
are believed to be responsible
for the threat.
297
00:14:41,278 --> 00:14:44,269
- Where's the intel from?
- We just read it on Drudge Report.
298
00:14:44,304 --> 00:14:45,840
Look, we already have
the guy's blog.
299
00:14:45,846 --> 00:14:48,114
Maybe we can find an address
and check it out on MapQuest.
300
00:14:48,237 --> 00:14:50,383
We do this my way!
I'm the one in charge!
301
00:14:51,676 --> 00:14:54,508
- Not anymore you're not.
- Oh, snap.
302
00:14:56,865 --> 00:14:58,936
I captured another one
of your pieces, Bahir.
303
00:15:02,125 --> 00:15:03,335
Oh, hey Eric.
304
00:15:03,658 --> 00:15:05,744
- Where is the detonator!
- The what?
305
00:15:05,779 --> 00:15:07,944
You have exactly five seconds
before I start dropping
306
00:15:07,979 --> 00:15:09,636
serious apple juice farts
on your face!
307
00:15:09,671 --> 00:15:11,229
- One!
- Leave me alone!
308
00:15:12,207 --> 00:15:12,829
Stop!
309
00:15:13,598 --> 00:15:15,154
Hey, I was
about to win!
310
00:15:15,737 --> 00:15:17,842
Stop, terrorist,
or I will shoot you!
311
00:15:21,685 --> 00:15:22,870
Get in the van!
312
00:15:25,397 --> 00:15:28,539
Uh, that's cool.
I'm actually not playing anymore.
313
00:15:29,117 --> 00:15:30,519
Get in the van!
314
00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:33,949
That's it! We don't have
a choice anymore!
315
00:15:33,984 --> 00:15:37,914
Somebody is going to have to go in
and try to disarm the snuke manually!
316
00:15:37,936 --> 00:15:39,630
No, it's too dangerous!
317
00:15:39,665 --> 00:15:42,062
That snatch has not seen action
in over 30 years!
318
00:15:42,096 --> 00:15:43,901
It could be toxic!
319
00:15:44,247 --> 00:15:47,883
I'll do it!
I'll check out Ms. Clinton's snizz.
320
00:15:52,036 --> 00:15:54,938
Let me go! Please!
I am just a little boy!
321
00:15:55,068 --> 00:15:57,739
You called and warned
the government of our plans!
322
00:15:58,098 --> 00:16:01,332
What you don't know is that
we are simply mercenaries,
323
00:16:01,445 --> 00:16:06,337
We were paid to set up the snuke so that
the real enemy of America could attack.
324
00:16:06,446 --> 00:16:08,505
That's cool.
I'm fine with Muslims invading.
325
00:16:08,657 --> 00:16:12,136
You really think Muslims are behind
this terrorist threat?
326
00:16:13,166 --> 00:16:15,066
Uh yes, of course?
327
00:16:15,155 --> 00:16:18,016
America had other enemies
before the Muslims, you know.
328
00:16:18,660 --> 00:16:20,756
Who is America's
oldest enemy?
329
00:16:21,568 --> 00:16:24,193
- The Russians?
- Before that.
330
00:16:24,237 --> 00:16:26,543
- The Germans?
- Before that.
331
00:16:27,437 --> 00:16:29,625
- The Germans again?
- Before that!
332
00:16:29,836 --> 00:16:33,086
I am talking about
the oldest threat to America!
333
00:16:33,157 --> 00:16:36,096
The greatest enemy
America has ever known!
334
00:16:36,308 --> 00:16:37,974
You can't possibly mean...
335
00:16:42,926 --> 00:16:45,921
Two hundred years
we've waited. Finally.
336
00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:48,842
We will get those traitors
to the Crown!
337
00:16:51,307 --> 00:16:52,765
Yes, Your Majesty?
338
00:16:53,198 --> 00:16:56,377
The Russians are ready to set off
the diversion.
339
00:16:56,715 --> 00:16:57,924
Full sail.
340
00:16:58,256 --> 00:17:00,001
Full sail, your Majesty.
341
00:17:11,651 --> 00:17:13,145
All right, Brian,
this is it.
342
00:17:13,181 --> 00:17:14,824
Get in there and see
if you can disarm
343
00:17:14,859 --> 00:17:16,510
the snuke
in Ms. Clinton's snatch.
344
00:17:19,402 --> 00:17:22,160
All right.I'm nearing her snizz now.
345
00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:24,557
God help him.
346
00:17:24,612 --> 00:17:28,710
- What do you see, Brian?
- It's dark. Cold.
347
00:17:28,832 --> 00:17:30,141
You're doing fine, Brian.
348
00:17:30,176 --> 00:17:33,583
Get as close as you can.
You have to look inside the snizz.
349
00:17:37,002 --> 00:17:39,111
All right,I'm looking.
350
00:17:39,703 --> 00:17:42,434
Yes, I see...I see the device!
351
00:17:44,383 --> 00:17:46,579
You're doing great, Brian.
Hang in there.
352
00:17:46,614 --> 00:17:48,443
There's um, metal housing.
353
00:17:48,512 --> 00:17:51,474
Some kind of three-prongedtriggering mechanism that...
354
00:17:52,141 --> 00:17:54,736
Wait, there'ssomething else here!
355
00:17:55,313 --> 00:17:56,272
There's something...
356
00:17:56,971 --> 00:17:58,278
Say again, Brian.
357
00:17:58,313 --> 00:18:00,968
There's something perchedon the snuke's coil.
358
00:18:01,671 --> 00:18:03,266
Oh God,it's looking at me!
359
00:18:03,870 --> 00:18:07,237
- Brian, get out of there!
- What-- What are you?
360
00:18:07,551 --> 00:18:11,440
I've no qualms with you!Stay back! Stay back I--
361
00:18:12,493 --> 00:18:14,263
Brian? Brian,
what's happening?
362
00:18:14,383 --> 00:18:19,019
It's eating my head!It's eating my head!
363
00:18:21,503 --> 00:18:23,087
Oh my!
364
00:18:24,442 --> 00:18:25,934
I got it! I got it!
365
00:18:25,969 --> 00:18:28,477
According to PayPal, the Russian guys
are just hired mercenaries
366
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:30,685
who had ads up on Craig's List
and got paid through eBay
367
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:33,665
so that person could be attacked
by the British.
368
00:18:33,782 --> 00:18:36,277
- The British?
- Loyalist Red Coats!
369
00:18:36,731 --> 00:18:39,194
Sir, I found the Russian's
eHarmony account!
370
00:18:39,229 --> 00:18:41,175
It does list an address
in South Park!
371
00:18:41,192 --> 00:18:42,647
All right!
MapQuest the address!
372
00:18:42,717 --> 00:18:44,835
I'll use Google Maps.
It has live traffic.
373
00:18:44,870 --> 00:18:45,677
Good thinking.
374
00:18:45,712 --> 00:18:48,517
Sir, we have the terrorists' location.
IM'ing you now.
375
00:18:49,952 --> 00:18:51,849
It was good knowing
you, comrade.
376
00:18:51,884 --> 00:18:54,027
Please. Think about
what you are doing.
377
00:18:54,212 --> 00:18:56,447
The British are just using you,
you're going to die.
378
00:18:56,573 --> 00:18:58,897
Yes, but
we will be rich.
379
00:18:59,331 --> 00:19:02,531
Left flank, prig prangand clear! Go!
380
00:19:04,922 --> 00:19:06,946
The game is over!
Get down on the ground!
381
00:19:07,006 --> 00:19:08,559
How did they find us?
382
00:19:08,672 --> 00:19:12,391
We know about everything! Your diversion
to help the Red Coats is over!
383
00:19:12,543 --> 00:19:15,795
It doesn't matter.
The detonator is on a timer.
384
00:19:15,811 --> 00:19:20,269
You are too late!
In three minutes.
385
00:19:25,191 --> 00:19:26,212
What the hell?
386
00:19:26,742 --> 00:19:29,639
- The power went out!
- Well, so then what time is it?
387
00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:35,472
- Oh crap.
- Take 'em down!
388
00:19:39,752 --> 00:19:43,250
No! I don't want to die
without being paid!
389
00:19:48,232 --> 00:19:51,296
The detonator is secured, General.
You are cleared to proceed.
390
00:19:59,253 --> 00:20:01,697
The Rebel Americans
know of our attack?!
391
00:20:01,732 --> 00:20:03,766
- How?
- Fire at will!
392
00:20:14,573 --> 00:20:15,746
Yes?
393
00:20:15,781 --> 00:20:18,455
Your Majesty,
the attack has failed.
394
00:20:18,750 --> 00:20:22,721
We were unable
to end the American Revolution.
395
00:20:23,572 --> 00:20:24,697
I see.
396
00:20:30,660 --> 00:20:34,150
Well, looks like we saved our country
from British rule once again.
397
00:20:34,363 --> 00:20:37,462
Yeah. It just proves we need to learn
not to profile one race of people.
398
00:20:37,502 --> 00:20:39,659
Because, actually,
most of the world hates us.
399
00:20:40,291 --> 00:20:43,401
Well Bahir, I was thinking that maybe
I owe you an apology.
400
00:20:43,441 --> 00:20:44,645
- Really?
- Yes.
401
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:46,690
But then I realized that
technically, I don't.
402
00:20:46,725 --> 00:20:49,641
Because by being suspicious of you,
I saved your life and everyone else's.
403
00:20:49,671 --> 00:20:53,073
So really, you own me an apology.
But that's cool.
404
00:20:53,108 --> 00:20:56,877
You didn't save everyone, I did!
You were just out harrassing Muslims!
405
00:20:57,611 --> 00:20:59,473
But if I hadn't called you
in the first place
406
00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:00,506
to check out the Muslim,
407
00:21:00,541 --> 00:21:02,272
you would have just stayed
in bed sick all day, right?
408
00:21:03,101 --> 00:21:04,871
- Maybe.
- Maybe?
409
00:21:06,692 --> 00:21:07,807
checking out the Clinton rally.
410
00:21:07,842 --> 00:21:10,018
That means my intolerance of Muslims
saved America.
411
00:21:11,050 --> 00:21:12,593
That is
so missing the point.
412
00:21:12,628 --> 00:21:15,363
Me being a bigot stopped a nuclear bomb
from going off, yes or no?!
413
00:21:15,970 --> 00:21:17,832
That's not the right way
to look at it, I--
414
00:21:17,867 --> 00:21:18,764
Yes or no, Kyle?
415
00:21:18,842 --> 00:21:21,425
No! Not,
not like you're saying.
416
00:21:21,462 --> 00:21:24,296
But that's all I'm saying:
Today, bigotry and racism saved the day.
417
00:21:24,340 --> 00:21:25,596
Bahir, you get this, right?
418
00:21:25,632 --> 00:21:28,271
Bahir! Get away from
that disgusting child!
419
00:21:28,306 --> 00:21:30,408
Get back home and start
packing your things!
420
00:21:30,443 --> 00:21:32,750
We are leaving
this whole intolerant country!
421
00:21:38,070 --> 00:21:41,458
Okay. Who got rid
of the Muslims, huh?
422
00:21:41,531 --> 00:21:44,347
That was all me.
Simple thank you will suffice.
423
00:22:10,489 --> 00:22:14,542
Sync and Edits: VeRdiKT
[Subscene.com / Addic7ed.com]
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