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1
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Kenny: When you're a creative individual
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00:00:01,729 --> 00:00:02,903
at a Catholic high school,
3
00:00:02,905 --> 00:00:05,422
most classes feel like the
final season of "Lost"...
4
00:00:05,424 --> 00:00:07,990
Unsatisfying, and the cute
guys are all straight,
5
00:00:07,992 --> 00:00:11,686
which is why I'm so excited to
be taking music appreciation.
6
00:00:13,857 --> 00:00:15,156
What are you doing here?
7
00:00:15,158 --> 00:00:16,958
Enriching my mind and my spirit,
8
00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:18,659
like that time I read The New Yorker
9
00:00:18,661 --> 00:00:19,927
not just for the cartoons.
10
00:00:19,929 --> 00:00:20,937
What are you doing here?
11
00:00:20,939 --> 00:00:22,805
[Laughing] Oh, Kenny.
12
00:00:22,807 --> 00:00:24,966
Stupid, stupid Kenny.
[School bell rings]
13
00:00:24,968 --> 00:00:26,173
I don't get what's so funny.
14
00:00:26,175 --> 00:00:28,478
Well, music appreciation is a joke.
15
00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:30,404
I seriously doubt that.
16
00:00:30,406 --> 00:00:31,747
All right, kids.
17
00:00:31,749 --> 00:00:34,217
Welcome to the wonderful world of music.
18
00:00:34,219 --> 00:00:36,919
Take out a piece of paper,
write something on it,
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00:00:36,921 --> 00:00:38,688
and grade yourselves.
20
00:00:38,690 --> 00:00:40,990
And do not interrupt me while
I'm doing my scratch-off.
21
00:00:40,992 --> 00:00:43,960
[Clears throat]
22
00:00:43,962 --> 00:00:45,528
Ms. Dunn? Kenny O'Neal here.
23
00:00:45,530 --> 00:00:49,791
I, for one, am thirsty for
a bit of music education.
24
00:00:51,060 --> 00:00:52,693
Don't mind my brother, Ms. Dunn.
25
00:00:52,695 --> 00:00:54,595
He's gay, so he likes
unnecessary conflict.
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00:00:54,597 --> 00:00:56,130
Sit down, Kenny. This isn't Bravo.
27
00:00:56,132 --> 00:00:59,467
[Gasps] Oh, my God.
28
00:00:59,469 --> 00:01:01,883
I just won $1 million.
29
00:01:01,885 --> 00:01:02,985
I'm free.
30
00:01:02,987 --> 00:01:05,473
The nightmare is over!
31
00:01:05,475 --> 00:01:07,175
But you're still gonna
teach, though, yeah?
32
00:01:07,177 --> 00:01:08,376
Why start now?
33
00:01:08,378 --> 00:01:11,712
Adi?s [bleep]
34
00:01:12,174 --> 00:01:15,383
35
00:01:16,286 --> 00:01:18,986
All right, help me decide, Father Phil.
36
00:01:18,988 --> 00:01:20,897
What's a better appetizer
for the bishop...
37
00:01:20,899 --> 00:01:22,398
Deviled eggs or pigs in a blanket?
38
00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:25,735
Well, invoking the devil with
the bishop is probably a no-no,
39
00:01:25,737 --> 00:01:28,783
but let me taste.
40
00:01:28,785 --> 00:01:31,073
Mmm. Okay.
41
00:01:31,075 --> 00:01:33,209
Devil be damned, this is a yes-yes.
42
00:01:33,211 --> 00:01:35,811
Oh, thank God. I'm just
so nervous and excited.
43
00:01:35,813 --> 00:01:37,446
I cannot believe that the church
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00:01:37,448 --> 00:01:39,889
chose our family to host
a dinner for the bishop.
45
00:01:39,891 --> 00:01:41,751
Ever since the
Stackwells' murder-suicide,
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00:01:41,753 --> 00:01:43,586
you are our top divorced family.
47
00:01:43,588 --> 00:01:45,555
That is so nice to hear.
48
00:01:45,557 --> 00:01:46,689
It's a real honor.
49
00:01:46,691 --> 00:01:49,091
What's also nice is
that it gives us a chance
50
00:01:49,093 --> 00:01:50,326
to show everyone that, you know,
51
00:01:50,328 --> 00:01:52,228
the whole dad-living-
in-the-garage situation
52
00:01:52,230 --> 00:01:54,597
not only works, but it has
the approval of the church.
53
00:01:54,599 --> 00:01:56,232
It is not a garage.
54
00:01:56,234 --> 00:01:58,868
I've told you a million
times... It's a tiny house.
55
00:01:58,870 --> 00:02:00,702
Father Phil. Ooh! Hello, deviled eggs.
56
00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:03,272
Ahh! We have two days to get
this place ready for the bishop,
57
00:02:03,274 --> 00:02:05,633
and you still haven't
fixed the garbage disposal.
58
00:02:07,912 --> 00:02:10,938
I never got this kind of
'tude from the Stackwells.
59
00:02:10,940 --> 00:02:12,607
[Door opens, closes]
60
00:02:12,609 --> 00:02:14,508
[Sighs]
61
00:02:14,510 --> 00:02:16,510
You are never gonna believe
what happened at school today.
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00:02:16,512 --> 00:02:18,378
You actually paid attention
and learned something?
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00:02:18,380 --> 00:02:21,848
[Chuckles] Hey, that's a good one. No.
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00:02:21,851 --> 00:02:24,452
So, uh, my teacher
Ms. Dunn won $1 million
65
00:02:24,454 --> 00:02:25,689
off a scratch-off ticket,
66
00:02:25,692 --> 00:02:27,622
and then she said some
sweet curse words and quit.
67
00:02:27,624 --> 00:02:28,623
It was... It was awesome.
68
00:02:28,625 --> 00:02:30,057
Wait, wait. Ms. Dunn?
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00:02:30,059 --> 00:02:32,213
- Short, big eyes, frizzy hair?
- Yeah. That's her.
70
00:02:34,464 --> 00:02:37,098
You know what? I'm feeling lucky today.
71
00:02:37,100 --> 00:02:39,267
I'm gonna have one of
those scratchers, please.
72
00:02:39,269 --> 00:02:41,802
[Police radio chatter]
73
00:02:41,804 --> 00:02:43,671
Ms. Dunn, right?
74
00:02:43,673 --> 00:02:44,972
Oh, is that all you have?
75
00:02:44,974 --> 00:02:47,608
I also have a cat and
a very loving niece.
76
00:02:47,610 --> 00:02:48,976
Why don't you go ahead?
77
00:02:48,978 --> 00:02:50,945
Oh, thanks.
78
00:02:50,947 --> 00:02:52,813
One scratch-off, please.
79
00:02:52,815 --> 00:02:53,881
And a packet of condoms.
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00:02:53,883 --> 00:02:57,051
You never know.
81
00:02:57,053 --> 00:02:58,619
I let her go ahead of me.
82
00:02:58,621 --> 00:03:01,222
That was supposed to be my ticket.
83
00:03:01,225 --> 00:03:03,605
That was supposed to be my $1 million.
84
00:03:03,608 --> 00:03:05,526
My whole life could have been different.
85
00:03:05,528 --> 00:03:07,695
She only has a cat and a niece, Dad.
86
00:03:07,697 --> 00:03:09,096
So you can get in there.
87
00:03:11,367 --> 00:03:14,435
88
00:03:14,437 --> 00:03:17,138
Thanks for coming in on
such short notice, everybody.
89
00:03:17,140 --> 00:03:18,973
As you know, Ms. Dunn hit the jackpot
90
00:03:18,975 --> 00:03:21,943
and never has to come back
to this hell-ishly wonderful
91
00:03:21,945 --> 00:03:23,210
institution of learning.
92
00:03:23,212 --> 00:03:25,713
So just sit tight while
I consult with my team,
93
00:03:25,715 --> 00:03:27,048
and I'll be back in a jiff.
94
00:03:27,050 --> 00:03:29,317
Are these the new teaching candidates
95
00:03:29,319 --> 00:03:31,185
for music appreciation class?
96
00:03:31,187 --> 00:03:32,787
Tired.
97
00:03:32,789 --> 00:03:34,388
Dead inside.
98
00:03:34,390 --> 00:03:35,690
Uninspired.
99
00:03:35,692 --> 00:03:37,458
[Gasps] Wait a second.
100
00:03:37,460 --> 00:03:39,327
Italian loafer, no socks.
101
00:03:39,329 --> 00:03:41,696
A Patek Philippe watch.
102
00:03:41,698 --> 00:03:43,764
Gingham and plaid on purpose?
103
00:03:43,766 --> 00:03:46,701
This man is a homosexual.
104
00:03:49,605 --> 00:03:51,172
Hello. I'm Kenny O'Neal.
105
00:03:51,174 --> 00:03:52,173
Hi. I'm Mr. Peters.
106
00:03:52,175 --> 00:03:53,174
Hi. [Chuckles]
107
00:03:53,176 --> 00:03:54,675
Um, I'm a student helper.
108
00:03:54,677 --> 00:03:56,177
I'm making photocopies of r?sum?s
109
00:03:56,179 --> 00:03:57,211
for Vice Principal Murray.
110
00:03:57,213 --> 00:03:59,246
May I see yours?
111
00:04:01,951 --> 00:04:04,919
20 years on Broadway?
112
00:04:04,921 --> 00:04:07,054
Gay Men's Chorus?
113
00:04:07,056 --> 00:04:10,157
Former personal assistant
to Elaine Stritch?!
114
00:04:10,159 --> 00:04:11,559
Not bad.
115
00:04:11,561 --> 00:04:14,428
Oh, my God. This guy might
be the gay role model
116
00:04:14,430 --> 00:04:15,696
I've been looking for.
117
00:04:15,698 --> 00:04:18,332
He could help me become
the best version of me,
118
00:04:18,334 --> 00:04:20,468
or rather, do, re, mi.
119
00:04:20,470 --> 00:04:24,238
Let's start at the very beginning.
120
00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:27,942
A very good place to start
121
00:04:27,944 --> 00:04:30,311
When you read, you begin with...
122
00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:31,612
Men's Health magazine?
123
00:04:31,614 --> 00:04:33,581
A-B-C.
124
00:04:33,583 --> 00:04:37,351
When you sing, you
begin with do, re, mi
125
00:04:37,353 --> 00:04:39,587
Do, re, mi
126
00:04:39,589 --> 00:04:40,654
Yes!
127
00:04:40,656 --> 00:04:41,789
Doe
128
00:04:41,791 --> 00:04:44,492
A deer, a female deer
129
00:04:44,494 --> 00:04:45,459
Ray
130
00:04:45,462 --> 00:04:48,230
A drop of golden sun
131
00:04:48,231 --> 00:04:49,011
Me!
132
00:04:49,014 --> 00:04:51,832
A name I call myself [Camera shutter clicks]
133
00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:52,700
Far.
134
00:04:52,702 --> 00:04:55,202
A long, long way to run
135
00:04:55,204 --> 00:04:58,739
Sew, a needle pulling thread
136
00:04:58,741 --> 00:05:02,443
-
La, a note to follow so - [Woman singing operatically]
137
00:05:02,445 --> 00:05:05,746
Tea, a drink with jam and bread
138
00:05:05,748 --> 00:05:09,016
That will bring us back to do
139
00:05:09,018 --> 00:05:10,217
- Ow.
- No carbs.
140
00:05:10,219 --> 00:05:12,353
We bake for others.
141
00:05:12,355 --> 00:05:13,854
You have to hire Mr. Peters.
142
00:05:13,856 --> 00:05:15,089
Oh, thank God!
143
00:05:15,091 --> 00:05:16,991
This thing keeps saying,
"Ask again. Ask again."
144
00:05:16,993 --> 00:05:19,060
I've been asking again for 10 minutes.
145
00:05:19,062 --> 00:05:20,594
I hate this!
146
00:05:20,596 --> 00:05:22,029
I hate this! I hate this!
147
00:05:22,031 --> 00:05:24,298
If you hate this so much,
then why are you doing it?
148
00:05:24,300 --> 00:05:26,067
Well, I would have
hired a plumber, Shannon,
149
00:05:26,069 --> 00:05:27,268
but I'm not a millionaire
150
00:05:27,270 --> 00:05:30,137
like that frizzy-hair
dream-stealer Ms. Dunn.
151
00:05:30,139 --> 00:05:32,139
You know why she's a
millionaire and you're not?
152
00:05:32,141 --> 00:05:33,340
You're too nice.
153
00:05:33,342 --> 00:05:35,876
- That's very sweet of you to say.
- Stop it!
154
00:05:35,878 --> 00:05:38,379
You're constantly putting other
people's needs before your own.
155
00:05:38,381 --> 00:05:40,081
If you hadn't let that
teacher go ahead of you,
156
00:05:40,083 --> 00:05:41,449
you'd be the millionaire right now
157
00:05:41,451 --> 00:05:43,484
rather than some guy
playing "Final Destination"
158
00:05:43,486 --> 00:05:44,785
with a garbage disposal.
159
00:05:44,787 --> 00:05:47,721
Listen, when you grow up in a big family
160
00:05:47,723 --> 00:05:50,024
with six brothers sharing
five pairs of underwear,
161
00:05:50,026 --> 00:05:52,126
you kind of learn not to
want anything for yourself.
162
00:05:52,128 --> 00:05:54,395
Okay, well, then it's time
to unlearn that.
163
00:05:54,397 --> 00:05:56,430
You have to put yourself first for once.
164
00:05:56,432 --> 00:05:58,499
If you had $1 million,
what would you buy?
165
00:05:58,501 --> 00:06:00,101
[Chuckles]
166
00:06:00,103 --> 00:06:03,170
Well, I-I have always wanted
an electric toothbrush.
167
00:06:03,172 --> 00:06:05,072
Oh, my God, Dad! Think bigger!
168
00:06:05,074 --> 00:06:07,741
Anything in the world.
What would you want?
169
00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:09,610
I don't know. I don't know what I want!
170
00:06:09,612 --> 00:06:10,878
Well, then figure it out.
171
00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:12,513
What do you really want?
172
00:06:12,515 --> 00:06:14,949
I really want to stop being
yelled at by a little girl.
173
00:06:14,951 --> 00:06:17,051
Well, then maybe you
should stop acting like one.
174
00:06:17,053 --> 00:06:17,885
Ohh!
175
00:06:17,887 --> 00:06:19,320
Okay, maybe that was too far.
176
00:06:20,237 --> 00:06:22,110
[School bell rings]
Good morning, class.
177
00:06:22,113 --> 00:06:25,239
Good morning. Mr. Peters, I brought you
178
00:06:25,241 --> 00:06:27,007
a Jazz apple from New Zealand
179
00:06:27,009 --> 00:06:31,345
because I'm suspecting we both
have a mutual love of Bob Fosse.
180
00:06:31,347 --> 00:06:32,946
It's pronounced Foss-ay.
181
00:06:32,948 --> 00:06:35,115
- No, I'm pretty sure it's Fo...
- Sit down.
182
00:06:35,117 --> 00:06:36,884
Okay.
183
00:06:38,687 --> 00:06:40,354
Let's start at the very beginning...
184
00:06:40,356 --> 00:06:41,889
It's happening.
185
00:06:41,891 --> 00:06:44,491
...with the gloomy harmonics
of the Renaissance period.
186
00:06:44,493 --> 00:06:45,959
I don't know what any of that means,
187
00:06:45,961 --> 00:06:47,494
but it doesn't matter,
188
00:06:47,496 --> 00:06:50,511
because I'm already
going to give myself an A.
189
00:06:50,514 --> 00:06:52,566
All right. Well, since
you've already got an A,
190
00:06:52,568 --> 00:06:53,867
then surely you must know the difference
191
00:06:53,869 --> 00:06:55,135
between a madrigal and a cantata.
192
00:06:55,137 --> 00:06:56,970
Oh, yeah. Uh, a madrigal
193
00:06:56,972 --> 00:06:58,405
is something that David Blaine does.
194
00:06:58,407 --> 00:07:00,635
And a cantata is something
Mommy makes for breakfast.
195
00:07:00,638 --> 00:07:02,471
[Laughter]
196
00:07:03,045 --> 00:07:04,311
Good.
197
00:07:04,313 --> 00:07:05,545
You know what I think is funny?
198
00:07:05,547 --> 00:07:07,247
You all just bought yourselves
199
00:07:07,249 --> 00:07:10,017
a 500-word oral presentation on this.
200
00:07:10,019 --> 00:07:13,587
[Orff's "O Fortuna" plays]
201
00:07:13,589 --> 00:07:15,188
[Music stops]
202
00:07:15,190 --> 00:07:16,957
Is that the theme to "Die Hard 3"?
203
00:07:16,959 --> 00:07:19,760
No. It's Carl Orff's "Carmina Burana."
204
00:07:19,762 --> 00:07:21,828
Huh. Is Bruce Willis in that, too?
205
00:07:21,830 --> 00:07:24,865
Let's make it 1,000 words.
And it's due tomorrow.
206
00:07:24,867 --> 00:07:26,233
Okay, seriously?
207
00:07:26,235 --> 00:07:28,702
Um, Mr. Peters, I think
there's been a misunderstanding.
208
00:07:28,704 --> 00:07:30,637
To put it in musical
terms, before you came,
209
00:07:30,639 --> 00:07:35,509
this class was a bit
more adagio than allegro.
210
00:07:35,511 --> 00:07:37,277
So, you know, maybe we could ease
211
00:07:37,279 --> 00:07:39,046
into a more strenuous curriculum?
212
00:07:39,048 --> 00:07:40,814
I hear you. This is my first day.
213
00:07:40,816 --> 00:07:42,249
I don't know how this school works.
214
00:07:42,251 --> 00:07:43,917
I'm probably being a little overzealous.
215
00:07:43,919 --> 00:07:45,419
Why don't we take a little
sidebar in the hallway
216
00:07:45,421 --> 00:07:46,954
and you two can help me
adjust my teaching style?
217
00:07:46,956 --> 00:07:48,722
Oh! I've got ideas.
218
00:07:49,591 --> 00:07:51,325
[Sighs] This is good.
219
00:07:51,327 --> 00:07:53,226
We're getting a dialogue going.
220
00:07:55,885 --> 00:07:57,531
Hmm.
221
00:07:57,533 --> 00:07:59,933
So, this is a sidebar.
222
00:07:59,935 --> 00:08:01,034
223
00:08:01,036 --> 00:08:03,503
Oh! What smells like Delaware?
224
00:08:03,505 --> 00:08:04,604
Ugh!
225
00:08:04,606 --> 00:08:07,808
Oh, I can't believe your father
226
00:08:07,810 --> 00:08:09,710
hasn't fixed the garbage disposal.
227
00:08:09,712 --> 00:08:12,512
- [Whirring]
- Ugh!
228
00:08:12,514 --> 00:08:13,880
What has your father been doing?
229
00:08:13,882 --> 00:08:15,983
Hopefully putting
himself first for once.
230
00:08:15,985 --> 00:08:18,719
I told you to stop
reading that Deepak Chopra.
231
00:08:18,721 --> 00:08:21,288
How am I gonna make
this dinner with no sink?
232
00:08:21,290 --> 00:08:23,056
Clive: Knockity-knock-knock.
233
00:08:23,058 --> 00:08:25,425
Just knock for real or come right in.
234
00:08:25,427 --> 00:08:27,928
Sorrity-sor-sor... Oh, I apologize.
235
00:08:27,930 --> 00:08:29,730
Oh, good. You brought your tool belt.
236
00:08:29,732 --> 00:08:31,865
Did Pat call you to fix
the garbage disposal?
237
00:08:31,867 --> 00:08:34,501
Oh, no. Pat invited me over to
check out his new meat smoker.
238
00:08:34,503 --> 00:08:38,138
This tool belt is for grillin' and...
239
00:08:39,875 --> 00:08:41,241
...chillin'.
240
00:08:41,243 --> 00:08:44,745
Huh? It's the biggest one you
can get with out a license.
241
00:08:44,747 --> 00:08:47,581
And, apparently, it's
the same one The Rock has.
242
00:08:47,583 --> 00:08:49,016
Dad, this is awesome!
243
00:08:49,018 --> 00:08:51,918
I know! Now I can literally
smell what The Rock is cooking.
244
00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:53,587
Thanks for pushing me to do it, sweetie.
245
00:08:53,589 --> 00:08:55,889
Hey, want to help me
season up these puppies?
246
00:08:55,891 --> 00:08:58,225
Sure, if they're not actual puppies.
247
00:08:58,227 --> 00:08:59,893
So, this is what you've been up to?
248
00:08:59,895 --> 00:09:02,963
Instead of fixing the garbage
disposal, you bought this toy?
249
00:09:02,965 --> 00:09:05,165
Oh, come on! This is not a toy!
250
00:09:05,167 --> 00:09:07,467
It has metal ears and a snout.
251
00:09:07,469 --> 00:09:09,536
Well, the snout doubles as an air vent.
252
00:09:09,538 --> 00:09:12,406
Eileen, the Pigerator
2000 is serious business.
253
00:09:12,408 --> 00:09:14,674
Shut it down, roll it into the shed,
254
00:09:14,676 --> 00:09:16,176
and return all this meat.
255
00:09:16,178 --> 00:09:17,210
I can't return it.
256
00:09:17,212 --> 00:09:18,478
I've been rubbing my meat all morning.
257
00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:19,646
And I'm gonna help him pound it.
258
00:09:19,648 --> 00:09:20,847
This is ridiculous, Pat,
259
00:09:20,849 --> 00:09:22,716
and the bishop will be here very soon.
260
00:09:22,718 --> 00:09:24,551
Well, hey, maybe I think
it's a little ridiculous
261
00:09:24,553 --> 00:09:26,019
that we're worrying
about impressing a bishop
262
00:09:26,021 --> 00:09:27,654
- we've never even met.
- Oh, now, now.
263
00:09:27,656 --> 00:09:28,855
Don't fight. You're scaring Shannon.
264
00:09:28,857 --> 00:09:30,223
I'm not scared.
265
00:09:30,225 --> 00:09:32,893
I'm proud of my dad for
finally taking care of himself.
266
00:09:32,895 --> 00:09:36,163
Pat, finish up your little project,
267
00:09:36,165 --> 00:09:38,131
fix the garbage disposal,
268
00:09:38,133 --> 00:09:40,467
then get in the shower,
and put on a suit.
269
00:09:40,469 --> 00:09:43,737
Eileen, we're not married anymore.
270
00:09:43,739 --> 00:09:45,338
So you can't tell me what to do.
271
00:09:45,340 --> 00:09:46,540
Well, somebody has to,
272
00:09:46,542 --> 00:09:49,042
because you cannot meet the
bishop dressed like that.
273
00:09:49,044 --> 00:09:51,711
Well, then I guess I just
don't get to meet the bishop.
274
00:09:51,713 --> 00:09:54,181
I just realized. When I said
I was gonna pound Pat's meat,
275
00:09:54,183 --> 00:09:56,316
it could be taken the wrong way.
276
00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:01,521
I'm going to give Mr. Peters
the benefit of the doubt.
277
00:10:01,523 --> 00:10:03,523
Yes, he had a rough start,
278
00:10:03,525 --> 00:10:07,160
but I know that deep down
within that uptight personality,
279
00:10:07,162 --> 00:10:10,230
there's a Frauelein Maria
just waiting to break out.
280
00:10:10,232 --> 00:10:11,364
I got somebody hired here
281
00:10:11,366 --> 00:10:12,666
who seemed like a good
person to work with,
282
00:10:12,668 --> 00:10:14,835
and she wound up being
difficult and bossy.
283
00:10:14,837 --> 00:10:16,369
- My mom?
- Exactly.
284
00:10:16,371 --> 00:10:17,260
Mm.
285
00:10:17,263 --> 00:10:20,240
I tried talking to Mr. Peters
in the teachers' lounge,
286
00:10:20,242 --> 00:10:22,375
you know, gay to gay,
287
00:10:22,377 --> 00:10:25,545
but I think our bad
attitudes really set him off.
288
00:10:25,547 --> 00:10:27,714
I mean, he probably
threw out my Jazz apple
289
00:10:27,716 --> 00:10:29,583
because he prefers Red Delicious.
290
00:10:29,585 --> 00:10:31,885
Oh, please. Nobody likes Red Delicious.
291
00:10:31,887 --> 00:10:33,286
It's like biting into a sweater.
292
00:10:33,288 --> 00:10:34,196
That's what he said.
293
00:10:34,199 --> 00:10:35,755
Even though he'd probably
reject my friendship,
294
00:10:35,757 --> 00:10:37,057
I want to meet him and spend years
295
00:10:37,059 --> 00:10:38,358
trying to make him my new bestie.
296
00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:40,694
Not in that blouse.
297
00:10:40,696 --> 00:10:43,296
Wait a second.
298
00:10:43,298 --> 00:10:44,831
Maybe you could hang out with him.
299
00:10:44,833 --> 00:10:47,767
I mean, he's new to town.
I think he's just lonely.
300
00:10:47,769 --> 00:10:50,904
Kenny, this is Steve
we're talking about, honey.
301
00:10:50,905 --> 00:10:52,438
He's not nice to just anybody.
302
00:10:52,441 --> 00:10:54,975
It takes years to get
into his inner circle.
303
00:10:54,977 --> 00:10:56,309
Can he sing karaoke?
304
00:10:56,311 --> 00:10:57,477
20 years on Broadway.
305
00:10:57,479 --> 00:10:59,779
He's my new best friend. [Laughs]
306
00:10:59,781 --> 00:11:01,114
Ow.
307
00:11:01,116 --> 00:11:02,516
[Groans]
308
00:11:02,518 --> 00:11:04,151
[Door closes]
309
00:11:04,153 --> 00:11:05,752
Clive: Don't mind me.
Just grabbing some tongs.
310
00:11:05,754 --> 00:11:07,587
Got too close to the fire
and dropped mine in there.
311
00:11:07,589 --> 00:11:09,256
No time for tongs. You have to leave.
312
00:11:09,258 --> 00:11:10,757
The bishop's gonna be here any minute,
313
00:11:10,759 --> 00:11:12,058
and I can't have my lover in my house.
314
00:11:12,060 --> 00:11:14,594
I thought you didn't
like the term "lover."
315
00:11:14,596 --> 00:11:16,229
That's how nervous I am!
316
00:11:16,231 --> 00:11:18,198
And Pat is driving me crazy.
317
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:19,366
What is the bishop gonna think
318
00:11:19,368 --> 00:11:20,767
about our perfect post-divorce family
319
00:11:20,769 --> 00:11:22,002
if I can't even get my ex-husband
320
00:11:22,004 --> 00:11:23,303
to come inside the house?
321
00:11:23,305 --> 00:11:25,172
Now scoot. Come on.
322
00:11:25,174 --> 00:11:27,140
If you're so worried about
it, just cancel the dinner.
323
00:11:27,142 --> 00:11:28,208
Or do what I've done
324
00:11:28,210 --> 00:11:29,709
when students have visited my office...
325
00:11:29,711 --> 00:11:31,912
Just turn out all the lights
and pretend you're not there.
326
00:11:31,914 --> 00:11:33,880
You can't ghost a bishop.
327
00:11:35,751 --> 00:11:37,617
Oh, Bishop!
328
00:11:37,619 --> 00:11:39,152
Hello. You must be Eileen.
329
00:11:39,154 --> 00:11:41,855
Yes, I am. And it is so
wonderful to meet you.
330
00:11:41,857 --> 00:11:42,956
You must be Pat.
331
00:11:42,958 --> 00:11:45,458
Oh, no, I'm not Pat. [Chuckles]
332
00:11:45,460 --> 00:11:46,760
Then who are you?
333
00:11:46,762 --> 00:11:48,851
He's Patrick.
334
00:11:48,854 --> 00:11:50,870
He goes by Patrick.
335
00:11:51,033 --> 00:11:53,233
We're Patrick and Eileen O'Neal.
336
00:11:53,235 --> 00:11:54,634
Welcome to our home.
337
00:11:54,636 --> 00:11:56,963
Bum-bum, bum-bum
338
00:11:58,781 --> 00:12:01,204
Eileen, I'm only agreeing to
do this because we are lovers.
339
00:12:01,207 --> 00:12:03,446
- Your words, not mine.
- Thank you. I appreciate it.
340
00:12:03,449 --> 00:12:05,080
But you should know I'm a terrible liar.
341
00:12:05,082 --> 00:12:06,715
I'll start down a path, I
will not be able to stop.
342
00:12:06,717 --> 00:12:07,816
Like that time I was late for dinner.
343
00:12:07,818 --> 00:12:08,917
I told you I met the mayor.
344
00:12:08,919 --> 00:12:10,760
I was just cruising
around a Tommy Bahama.
345
00:12:10,762 --> 00:12:13,129
I forgive you. Now
go be my fake husband.
346
00:12:13,131 --> 00:12:17,058
- Your Eminence.
- Fake husband?
347
00:12:17,060 --> 00:12:18,235
All right. Here's the deal.
348
00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:20,762
You kids know that I
think lying is very wrong,
349
00:12:20,764 --> 00:12:21,938
and I don't condone it,
350
00:12:21,940 --> 00:12:23,873
unless it involves returning
a pantsuit to Macy's
351
00:12:23,875 --> 00:12:25,141
after only wearing it once.
352
00:12:25,143 --> 00:12:27,969
But, just for tonight,
VP Murray is your father.
353
00:12:27,971 --> 00:12:30,786
Does he have to wear my church blazer?
354
00:12:30,789 --> 00:12:32,173
Well, we tried one of your father's,
355
00:12:32,175 --> 00:12:34,042
but it made him look
like Paula Poundstone.
356
00:12:34,044 --> 00:12:35,577
357
00:12:35,579 --> 00:12:37,178
Bishop, how are you enjoying your soup?
358
00:12:37,180 --> 00:12:39,180
Patrick here was telling
me it's a family recipe.
359
00:12:39,182 --> 00:12:42,350
My great-great-grandmother,
Lucille O'Neal,
360
00:12:42,352 --> 00:12:44,653
on the ship, oh, she got so sick
361
00:12:44,655 --> 00:12:48,790
she had to give the recipe to
her twin sister, Bathsheba...
362
00:12:48,792 --> 00:12:50,091
because she was just
vomiting so force...
363
00:12:50,093 --> 00:12:52,093
It was like a geyser, and... Ow! Mm.
364
00:12:52,095 --> 00:12:53,395
We should eat quick and go upstairs
365
00:12:53,397 --> 00:12:55,664
so we can finish our papers
for music appreciation.
366
00:12:55,666 --> 00:12:56,819
- Why?
- Eileen: Have a drink.
367
00:12:56,821 --> 00:12:58,867
You said Steve the Colorist
is taking care of it, so...
368
00:12:58,869 --> 00:13:00,769
Jimmy, he's not writing
your paper for you.
369
00:13:00,771 --> 00:13:03,238
He's taking Mr. Peters to gay karaoke.
370
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:04,472
"Gay karaoke"?
371
00:13:04,474 --> 00:13:05,941
No. It's just, um... It's a...
372
00:13:05,943 --> 00:13:08,109
An expression the
teenagers use nowadays.
373
00:13:08,111 --> 00:13:10,378
You know, it's like,
"This food is so good,
374
00:13:10,380 --> 00:13:11,746
it's like gay karaoke."
375
00:13:11,748 --> 00:13:13,048
[Chuckles] See?
376
00:13:13,050 --> 00:13:14,449
Thank you, dear.
377
00:13:14,451 --> 00:13:16,017
[Sniffing]
378
00:13:16,019 --> 00:13:17,052
Is something burning?
379
00:13:17,054 --> 00:13:18,086
No, I don't think so.
380
00:13:18,088 --> 00:13:19,587
[Gasps] Oh!
381
00:13:19,589 --> 00:13:23,024
Do you know, the neighbor
bought a meat smoker.
382
00:13:23,026 --> 00:13:24,426
His name is Clive.
383
00:13:24,428 --> 00:13:25,660
He's a super guy.
384
00:13:25,662 --> 00:13:27,637
He's a vice principal.
He's got a coupon caddy.
385
00:13:27,639 --> 00:13:29,438
He's kind of like the sixth
member of this family.
386
00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:30,172
No, he's not.
387
00:13:30,175 --> 00:13:32,342
Then, why do you make him
do such stressful things?
388
00:13:32,344 --> 00:13:33,643
[Whitesnake's "Here I Go Again" plays]
389
00:13:33,645 --> 00:13:35,345
And here I go again on my own
390
00:13:35,347 --> 00:13:37,013
Why aren't you wearing a shirt?
391
00:13:37,015 --> 00:13:39,941
This is hard work, Shannon.
392
00:13:39,943 --> 00:13:42,644
It's hot, and I'm slaving
over a giant meat furnace.
393
00:13:42,646 --> 00:13:44,412
Also, I just learned the hard way
394
00:13:44,414 --> 00:13:45,714
that my shirt's highly flammable.
395
00:13:45,716 --> 00:13:48,383
Well, Mom's freaking out
in there, we can't breathe,
396
00:13:48,385 --> 00:13:50,285
and VP Murray's not great at improv.
397
00:13:50,287 --> 00:13:52,387
So turn off the smoker and come inside.
398
00:13:52,389 --> 00:13:54,756
[Breathes sharply]
Mm. No can do, Shannon.
399
00:13:54,758 --> 00:13:56,391
Pat's living in Pat's world now,
400
00:13:56,393 --> 00:13:58,426
population... Pat.
401
00:13:58,428 --> 00:14:01,096
Okay, well, forget what I said
about putting yourself first.
402
00:14:01,098 --> 00:14:03,431
I was wrong. We need you in there.
403
00:14:03,433 --> 00:14:07,435
I am feeling a freedom
I have never experienced!
404
00:14:07,437 --> 00:14:10,372
I'm alive!
405
00:14:10,374 --> 00:14:13,641
Aliiiiiiiiive!!
406
00:14:13,643 --> 00:14:16,077
- [Laughs maniacally]
- I've created a monster.
407
00:14:16,079 --> 00:14:18,780
We may look modern on the outside,
408
00:14:18,782 --> 00:14:20,415
but we try to be traditional.
409
00:14:20,417 --> 00:14:22,450
Kenny O'Neal!
410
00:14:22,452 --> 00:14:25,353
You ruined gay karaoke for me forever.
411
00:14:25,355 --> 00:14:27,956
You see? Gay karaoke.
412
00:14:27,958 --> 00:14:29,290
Everybody's saying it.
413
00:14:29,292 --> 00:14:30,392
Sorry we barged in.
414
00:14:30,394 --> 00:14:31,659
Steve made me. He's outraged.
415
00:14:31,661 --> 00:14:32,761
I am outraged.
416
00:14:32,763 --> 00:14:34,195
You must be the bishop.
417
00:14:34,197 --> 00:14:35,230
Nice to meet you.
418
00:14:35,232 --> 00:14:36,698
I'm Pat...
419
00:14:36,700 --> 00:14:38,101
in case you were wondering.
420
00:14:38,104 --> 00:14:43,872
Oh, perhaps you and your
Boy Scout leader, Steve,
421
00:14:43,874 --> 00:14:48,143
would care to discuss your
merit badges in another room.
422
00:14:48,145 --> 00:14:50,745
What happened? Did you
take Mr. Peters out?
423
00:14:50,747 --> 00:14:51,913
Yeah, did you get him to lighten up?
424
00:14:51,915 --> 00:14:53,112
Is he canceling class tomorrow?
425
00:14:53,114 --> 00:14:54,282
No, he didn't lighten up.
426
00:14:54,284 --> 00:14:56,051
He critiqued everyone's performance.
427
00:14:56,053 --> 00:14:57,385
You made him sound
like he was fun-mean,
428
00:14:57,387 --> 00:14:58,453
but he was just mean-mean.
429
00:14:58,455 --> 00:14:59,788
He made Mateo cry.
430
00:14:59,790 --> 00:15:01,890
Well, his ear is
trained to hear mistakes.
431
00:15:01,892 --> 00:15:02,991
I mean, he's a music teacher.
432
00:15:02,993 --> 00:15:04,125
He spent 20 years on Broadway.
433
00:15:04,127 --> 00:15:06,489
As an usher for "Tony
'n' Tina's Wedding."
434
00:15:06,492 --> 00:15:08,263
You should not be saying
anything bad about him.
435
00:15:08,265 --> 00:15:09,664
We need to support each other.
436
00:15:09,666 --> 00:15:11,066
Why? Because we're gay?
437
00:15:11,068 --> 00:15:13,301
Wake up, girl. Not all
gay people are great.
438
00:15:13,303 --> 00:15:14,636
Clearly.
439
00:15:14,638 --> 00:15:18,273
Okay. I'm done with you.
440
00:15:19,242 --> 00:15:21,009
If you compromise my relationship
441
00:15:21,011 --> 00:15:23,478
with Steve the Colorist,
I'll never do your bang again.
442
00:15:27,350 --> 00:15:28,917
Great. Just great.
443
00:15:28,919 --> 00:15:30,518
Your plan with Mr. Peters didn't work,
444
00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:32,454
and now I have to write
a paper on Carmen Electra.
445
00:15:32,456 --> 00:15:33,621
It's "Carmina Burana."
446
00:15:33,623 --> 00:15:35,390
I-Is that her mom?
447
00:15:35,392 --> 00:15:36,791
Well, maybe this is a chance
448
00:15:36,793 --> 00:15:38,259
for you to actually try for once.
449
00:15:38,261 --> 00:15:39,294
Maybe you'll learn something.
450
00:15:39,296 --> 00:15:41,129
Oh! You sound just like Dad.
451
00:15:41,131 --> 00:15:44,499
I'm talking Crazy Meat Dad,
not Paula Poundstone Dad.
452
00:15:44,501 --> 00:15:46,167
In the words of Steve the Colorist,
453
00:15:46,169 --> 00:15:47,602
I'm done with you.
454
00:15:49,372 --> 00:15:50,405
[Sighs]
455
00:15:51,274 --> 00:15:53,074
I have five brothers. One's name is...
456
00:15:53,076 --> 00:15:54,317
- Patrick?
- Hmm?
457
00:15:54,319 --> 00:15:56,219
You have shared so much,
458
00:15:56,221 --> 00:15:58,087
and I think maybe it's just a... a lot
459
00:15:58,089 --> 00:15:59,989
for the bishop to digest.
460
00:15:59,991 --> 00:16:01,858
It's just, having you here
461
00:16:01,860 --> 00:16:03,551
is such a wonderful confirmation
462
00:16:03,553 --> 00:16:05,453
that even though our
family's unconventional,
463
00:16:05,455 --> 00:16:07,021
you know, God hasn't rejected us.
464
00:16:07,023 --> 00:16:09,924
[Orff's "O Fortuna" plays]
465
00:16:12,829 --> 00:16:15,029
Well, that's just poor timing.
466
00:16:15,031 --> 00:16:16,498
I am sweating through my collar.
467
00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:17,899
- Can we open a window?
- Oh.
468
00:16:17,901 --> 00:16:20,502
Clive: I'll do it. I replaced
all the windows last summer.
469
00:16:20,504 --> 00:16:22,003
Just the kind of guy I am.
470
00:16:22,005 --> 00:16:24,572
Also, I'm a cop.
471
00:16:26,376 --> 00:16:27,542
Oh! [Coughing]
472
00:16:27,544 --> 00:16:29,410
It feels like we're dining in hell.
473
00:16:29,412 --> 00:16:31,479
Well, we're all gonna be in heaven...
474
00:16:31,481 --> 00:16:34,616
[Coughs] in a few minutes
when we try Eileen's dessert.
475
00:16:34,618 --> 00:16:35,783
Oh, what'd you make?
476
00:16:35,785 --> 00:16:38,653
I'm defrosting a
cheesecake in the bathtub.
477
00:16:38,655 --> 00:16:39,988
It's going to be delicious.
478
00:16:39,990 --> 00:16:43,091
The smoke is really bothering my asthma.
479
00:16:43,093 --> 00:16:44,392
I'm going to get some air.
480
00:16:44,394 --> 00:16:46,861
The front porch has better air!
481
00:16:46,863 --> 00:16:48,738
482
00:16:48,740 --> 00:16:50,440
You must be the neighbor, Clive.
483
00:16:50,442 --> 00:16:51,975
Oh. [Chuckles]
484
00:16:51,977 --> 00:16:55,378
No. I'm Pat O'Neal, Eileen's
ex-husband. How are you?
485
00:16:55,380 --> 00:16:57,947
If you're Pat, who's he?
486
00:16:57,949 --> 00:17:00,750
Well, it's a long
story, but I can tell it.
487
00:17:00,752 --> 00:17:05,613
Um, strangely enough, our
tale begins in a shtetl.
488
00:17:05,615 --> 00:17:06,923
- Okay. That's enough.
- I...
489
00:17:06,925 --> 00:17:08,892
I can't let you lie for me anymore.
490
00:17:08,894 --> 00:17:10,885
Bishop, here's the truth.
491
00:17:10,887 --> 00:17:11,842
[Breathes deeply]
492
00:17:11,845 --> 00:17:15,424
The person you thought
was Pat is actually...
493
00:17:15,425 --> 00:17:17,458
my gentleman friend, Clive,
494
00:17:17,460 --> 00:17:20,595
who is a very important
part of this family.
495
00:17:20,597 --> 00:17:23,898
And the shirtless man
over there by the meat
496
00:17:23,900 --> 00:17:28,002
is actually my ex-husband and
the father of my children, Pat.
497
00:17:28,004 --> 00:17:30,004
No. He's not.
498
00:17:30,006 --> 00:17:32,382
That man is not my father.
499
00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:34,842
My real father is a sweet man
500
00:17:34,844 --> 00:17:37,420
who always puts other people's
needs before his own...
501
00:17:37,422 --> 00:17:39,522
until I trained that out of him.
502
00:17:39,524 --> 00:17:41,235
But the real Pat O'Neal
503
00:17:41,238 --> 00:17:43,417
is the glue that holds
this family together.
504
00:17:43,420 --> 00:17:46,721
Honey, that's so sweet.
505
00:17:46,723 --> 00:17:48,890
Am I allowed to say that's sweet?
506
00:17:48,892 --> 00:17:50,191
Yes.
507
00:17:50,193 --> 00:17:51,726
Most divorced dads move away
508
00:17:51,728 --> 00:17:53,194
and start new families elsewhere,
509
00:17:53,196 --> 00:17:57,198
but you moved into the
garage to stay closer to us.
510
00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:01,202
You moved into this garage
to be closer to your children?
511
00:18:01,204 --> 00:18:02,670
[Smooches]
512
00:18:02,672 --> 00:18:06,007
Um, it is a tiny house, and, yes, I did.
513
00:18:06,009 --> 00:18:07,976
I-It's honestly the
only way we've been able
514
00:18:07,978 --> 00:18:10,245
to make it work since the divorce.
515
00:18:10,247 --> 00:18:12,046
It's messy, and it's hard,
516
00:18:12,048 --> 00:18:15,817
and the truth is, we are not
the poster family for anything,
517
00:18:15,819 --> 00:18:16,884
except maybe meat.
518
00:18:16,886 --> 00:18:19,520
I appreciate your honesty.
519
00:18:19,522 --> 00:18:21,589
I've done this long enough
to know no one's perfect.
520
00:18:21,591 --> 00:18:25,994
It's how we deal with our
imperfections that defines us.
521
00:18:25,996 --> 00:18:29,631
For example, my cardiologist
told me to stay away from meat,
522
00:18:29,633 --> 00:18:33,268
but I really feel like that
brisket is calling my name.
523
00:18:33,270 --> 00:18:34,235
May I?
524
00:18:34,237 --> 00:18:36,537
Yeah? Sure.
525
00:18:36,539 --> 00:18:38,773
- There you go.
- Hm.
526
00:18:41,011 --> 00:18:42,744
Mmm.
527
00:18:44,063 --> 00:18:45,780
It's like gay karaoke.
528
00:18:45,782 --> 00:18:46,881
[Laughs]
529
00:18:46,938 --> 00:18:48,149
[Laughs]
530
00:18:48,151 --> 00:18:50,451
Ironically, "Carmina Burana"
was written by clergy
531
00:18:50,453 --> 00:18:52,920
when the Latin idiom
was the lingua franca.
532
00:18:52,922 --> 00:18:55,156
Yeah, dude, I was surprised, too.
533
00:18:55,158 --> 00:18:57,558
And that's why Carl Orff's
famous scenic cantata
534
00:18:57,560 --> 00:18:58,893
can only be described as...
535
00:18:58,895 --> 00:19:01,037
And I don't like to use
these words lightly...
536
00:19:01,039 --> 00:19:02,338
"balls to the wall."
537
00:19:02,340 --> 00:19:03,740
[Applause]
Whoo!
538
00:19:06,202 --> 00:19:07,702
Not bad work, Mr. O'Neal.
539
00:19:07,704 --> 00:19:09,904
Thanks. I worked on it all night.
540
00:19:09,906 --> 00:19:12,040
That's why my hair looks so weird.
541
00:19:12,042 --> 00:19:14,375
But the assignment was for
a 1,000-word presentation.
542
00:19:14,377 --> 00:19:15,777
You were two words short.
543
00:19:15,779 --> 00:19:18,112
Okay, um...
544
00:19:18,114 --> 00:19:19,947
"The end."
545
00:19:19,949 --> 00:19:22,150
Clever, but that doesn't count.
546
00:19:22,152 --> 00:19:24,052
You fail. Now, moving on...
547
00:19:24,054 --> 00:19:26,721
Wait a second. Now you're
just picking on him.
548
00:19:26,723 --> 00:19:29,257
Jimmy has never worked
this hard on anything,
549
00:19:29,259 --> 00:19:31,526
and it's not like you actually
counted all of those words.
550
00:19:31,528 --> 00:19:32,660
Of course I did.
551
00:19:32,662 --> 00:19:34,028
This is an official usher's counter
552
00:19:34,030 --> 00:19:35,229
from a Broadway theater.
553
00:19:35,231 --> 00:19:37,632
Okay, but there's no way on earth
554
00:19:37,634 --> 00:19:39,000
you can count words that quickly.
555
00:19:39,002 --> 00:19:41,102
That was 13.
556
00:19:41,104 --> 00:19:44,405
You know what, Mr. Peters?
557
00:19:44,407 --> 00:19:46,274
I really thought that you
were going to be somebody
558
00:19:46,276 --> 00:19:48,309
I could look up to and emulate...
559
00:19:48,311 --> 00:19:49,811
A gay inspiration.
560
00:19:49,813 --> 00:19:52,914
The truth is, you're a bad role model.
561
00:19:52,916 --> 00:19:54,782
You're not fun-mean.
562
00:19:54,784 --> 00:19:56,250
You're just mean-mean.
563
00:19:56,252 --> 00:19:58,353
You want to see mean? You fail, too.
564
00:19:58,355 --> 00:20:00,822
Okay! That is not fair!
565
00:20:00,824 --> 00:20:02,724
His presentation was
twice as long as mine.
566
00:20:02,726 --> 00:20:04,025
I mean, he said "in conclusion,"
567
00:20:04,027 --> 00:20:05,493
and then he spoke for
another 10 minutes.
568
00:20:05,495 --> 00:20:06,761
All right. That's enough from you two.
569
00:20:06,763 --> 00:20:08,496
I want you both to go
see Vice Principal Murray.
570
00:20:08,498 --> 00:20:10,565
Oh, you mean the man that we
had breakfast with this morning
571
00:20:10,567 --> 00:20:11,966
who was wearing our mom's robe?
572
00:20:11,968 --> 00:20:15,169
Gladly. And we'll be having
a word with him about you.
573
00:20:15,171 --> 00:20:16,637
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know what?
574
00:20:16,639 --> 00:20:18,840
"Tony 'n' Tina's Wedding"
isn't even a Broadway show.
575
00:20:18,842 --> 00:20:20,842
It's glorified dinner theater.
576
00:20:20,844 --> 00:20:22,276
[Sighs]
577
00:20:23,757 --> 00:20:25,178
I am ready to share my knowledge.
578
00:20:25,181 --> 00:20:26,780
What exactly do you want to know?
579
00:20:26,783 --> 00:20:28,216
All kinds of things.
580
00:20:28,219 --> 00:20:31,889
Like, at what point do I tell
my eye doctor that I'm gay?
581
00:20:31,891 --> 00:20:33,424
He knows. Next?
582
00:20:33,426 --> 00:20:36,160
Did you participate
in the Stonewall riots?
583
00:20:36,162 --> 00:20:38,296
Yeah. I threw my teddy bear at a cop.
584
00:20:38,298 --> 00:20:39,563
How old do you think I am?
585
00:20:39,565 --> 00:20:41,933
Don't answer that! It's a trap.
586
00:20:41,935 --> 00:20:44,769
Ms. Dunn, you look gorgeous.
587
00:20:44,771 --> 00:20:46,304
Do you do cats?
588
00:20:46,306 --> 00:20:48,339
I want to give General Kitten a perm.
589
00:20:48,341 --> 00:20:49,640
Absolutely.
590
00:20:49,642 --> 00:20:52,610
Now, let's talk about the gay
history that really matters.
591
00:20:52,612 --> 00:20:55,112
In the summer of 1958,
the Ciccone family
592
00:20:55,114 --> 00:20:56,747
welcomed a young girl into the world.
593
00:20:56,749 --> 00:20:58,149
Her name was Madonna.
594
00:20:58,151 --> 00:21:00,017
[Sighs] Yes.
595
00:21:00,067 --> 00:21:04,617
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