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1
00:00:02,500 --> 00:00:05,572
Tickets this way
for the Chatsworth Express!
2
00:00:05,660 --> 00:00:08,174
Come and watch pikeys making a mess
3
00:00:08,260 --> 00:00:11,855
of the lives they were given by
'im upstairs...
4
00:00:11,940 --> 00:00:14,898
And kids they're convinced
aren't actually theirs.
5
00:00:14,980 --> 00:00:16,095
Wicked!
6
00:00:16,180 --> 00:00:17,499
Piss off!
7
00:00:17,580 --> 00:00:21,368
What sounds on Earth
could ever replace
8
00:00:21,460 --> 00:00:24,497
kids needing money
or wives in your face?
9
00:00:24,580 --> 00:00:26,935
Cos this, people reckon -
me included -
10
00:00:27,020 --> 00:00:29,488
is why pubs and drugs
11
00:00:29,580 --> 00:00:31,172
were kindly invented...
12
00:00:31,260 --> 00:00:33,774
To calm us all down
and stop us going mental.
13
00:00:33,860 --> 00:00:38,570
These are Chatsworth Estate's
basic essentials.
14
00:00:38,660 --> 00:00:44,815
We are worth every penny
for grinding your axes...
15
00:00:44,900 --> 00:00:46,379
You sit on our head,
16
00:00:46,460 --> 00:00:49,133
but... you pay the taxes.
17
00:00:49,220 --> 00:00:50,619
CHEERING
18
00:00:50,700 --> 00:00:53,373
Imagine Britain
without Chatsworth buccaneers
19
00:00:53,460 --> 00:00:56,691
who'd come on your face
for the price of a beer, eh?
20
00:00:56,780 --> 00:00:58,259
Eh!
21
00:00:58,340 --> 00:01:02,094
Make poverty history.
Cheaper drugs now!
22
00:01:02,180 --> 00:01:07,049
Make poverty history!
Cheaper drugs now!
23
00:01:07,140 --> 00:01:08,459
CHUCKLES
24
00:01:08,540 --> 00:01:12,169
Scatter! Party!
25
00:01:15,660 --> 00:01:18,379
COCK CROWS
26
00:01:18,460 --> 00:01:20,451
PATHE-STYLE NEWS INTRODUCTION
27
00:01:22,820 --> 00:01:24,970
(Mimi) 'I'm not sentimental about my kids.
28
00:01:25,060 --> 00:01:28,530
'A woman I knew was convinced
her brat was gonna be Prime Minister.
29
00:01:28,620 --> 00:01:31,180
'Cold meats at Asda, since you ask.
30
00:01:31,260 --> 00:01:32,978
'I know what my lot can do.
31
00:01:33,060 --> 00:01:35,574
'They're not gonna surprise me.
32
00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:37,252
'You don't choose your family.
33
00:01:37,340 --> 00:01:40,332
'They're your gift. Or your burden.
34
00:01:40,420 --> 00:01:43,059
'Or a by-product of the real choice.
35
00:01:43,140 --> 00:01:44,619
'I do a lot for my kids.'
36
00:01:44,700 --> 00:01:47,089
Mummy! Daddy! Pigs!
37
00:01:49,580 --> 00:01:51,696
(Mimi) 'But I'd do anything for my Paddy.'
38
00:01:51,780 --> 00:01:52,929
Police!
39
00:01:53,020 --> 00:01:55,011
A positive outrage.
I play golf with the chief constable.
40
00:01:56,940 --> 00:01:59,818
See you in an hour, Mimo.
41
00:01:59,900 --> 00:02:03,131
Solicitor's waiting at the station, Squirrel.
42
00:02:03,220 --> 00:02:04,175
...Cow.
43
00:02:04,260 --> 00:02:06,899
Why didn't they nick me? I'm a face.
44
00:02:06,980 --> 00:02:08,777
You knew?
45
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:16,890
Give this to our Mandy.
I've done the stock take,
46
00:02:16,980 --> 00:02:19,369
you're responsible. Personally.
47
00:02:30,260 --> 00:02:33,377
Siamese, conjoined, conjunction...
48
00:02:34,060 --> 00:02:35,698
Conjunctivitis.
49
00:02:37,940 --> 00:02:40,613
- All of them?
- That's a lot of drugs, even for him.
50
00:02:40,700 --> 00:02:43,533
He must have sensed them.
I went in there, watched Supernanny,
51
00:02:43,620 --> 00:02:46,180
sneaked upstairs. He must have
inhaled them. I don't know.
52
00:02:46,260 --> 00:02:48,535
- He's a one.
- Where is he?
53
00:02:51,220 --> 00:02:52,653
Ooh...
54
00:02:52,740 --> 00:02:54,298
MOANING, WARDROBE CREAKS
55
00:02:55,380 --> 00:02:57,689
We're gonna owe your mum gitloads.
56
00:02:59,300 --> 00:03:02,098
I'll have a word.
She'll want something, though. Deffo.
57
00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:08,615
You don't earn that much selling these.
58
00:03:08,700 --> 00:03:11,453
You said it was ¡ê250 a pop.
Someone's making some money
59
00:03:11,540 --> 00:03:14,008
out of them shit-suckers.
60
00:03:14,100 --> 00:03:15,772
Bollocks!
61
00:03:15,860 --> 00:03:18,215
Can you find out how much we owe her?
62
00:03:18,300 --> 00:03:21,133
I'll see what I can do.
63
00:03:26,180 --> 00:03:28,250
Are we straight?
64
00:03:28,340 --> 00:03:29,853
Have I cleared my debt?
65
00:03:29,940 --> 00:03:33,091
You are in hock till I say... Sergeant.
66
00:03:34,980 --> 00:03:37,540
Why didn't they search
our gaff, Sergeant?
67
00:03:38,620 --> 00:03:40,292
I only knew about the raid.
68
00:03:40,380 --> 00:03:43,497
Why am I still here, Sergeant?
69
00:03:43,580 --> 00:03:45,935
I really don't know.
70
00:03:52,220 --> 00:03:53,539
Hey, Carrie.
71
00:03:53,620 --> 00:03:56,817
- Sarge is the traditional title.
- You are joking?
72
00:03:56,900 --> 00:03:59,539
Before, I was a natural leader.
Now, I'm appointed.
73
00:03:59,620 --> 00:04:02,817
Tell me again why they
let you resit your exam.
74
00:04:04,780 --> 00:04:07,294
You're under surveillance, Constable.
75
00:04:19,260 --> 00:04:22,058
Oh, a V.
76
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:26,934
As in very, very lucky
to have me on your side, Sergeant.
77
00:04:27,020 --> 00:04:30,410
I'm looking forward to
getting acquainted with you.
78
00:04:30,500 --> 00:04:33,014
As agreed.
79
00:04:33,100 --> 00:04:35,978
- Wanna sit in on the Maguire powwow?
- Yeah!
80
00:04:37,340 --> 00:04:38,614
Where's my solicitor?
81
00:04:38,700 --> 00:04:43,694
Making him wait. Banging away
with his little fat fists. Most amusing.
82
00:04:43,780 --> 00:04:46,374
Fancy an afternoon at the flicks?
83
00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:50,897
Prescription drugs,
all-night chemist's. Two perps.
84
00:04:50,980 --> 00:04:53,369
Little muscles threatens
to cut chemist's hand off.
85
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,451
Chemist gives in. Well, you would.
86
00:04:55,540 --> 00:04:57,929
Leads them in back for t'stuff.
87
00:04:58,020 --> 00:04:59,772
The other one, the leader,
88
00:04:59,860 --> 00:05:03,409
has got indigestion.
Helps himself to some tablets.
89
00:05:03,500 --> 00:05:07,413
Safe, though,
cos he knows where the cameras are.
90
00:05:09,820 --> 00:05:11,697
Or does he?
91
00:05:11,780 --> 00:05:16,808
What if they'd fitted a new camera
the day before?
92
00:05:17,700 --> 00:05:19,816
Eh?
93
00:05:24,540 --> 00:05:27,259
Bang to fuckin' rights.
94
00:05:27,340 --> 00:05:30,457
You're not obliged to say anything,
but we'd like it if you did
95
00:05:30,540 --> 00:05:33,100
cos we could do with a fuckin' laugh.
96
00:05:33,180 --> 00:05:34,977
20 years?
97
00:05:35,060 --> 00:05:36,891
I can't...
98
00:05:36,980 --> 00:05:38,698
I can't live without...
99
00:05:41,580 --> 00:05:44,572
We could die at our age. Die apart.
100
00:05:44,660 --> 00:05:48,016
That's not the plan. I can't do that.
101
00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:50,330
Fat Todd says I should plead guilty.
102
00:05:50,420 --> 00:05:54,618
Fat Todd? We only went with him
cos of his poncey card.
103
00:05:54,700 --> 00:05:56,418
We can do better than him. We can.
104
00:05:56,500 --> 00:05:59,298
I'll cop a plea.
Good judge, serve half.
105
00:05:59,380 --> 00:06:00,813
Out in ten.
106
00:06:04,940 --> 00:06:06,373
(Christ.)
107
00:06:10,180 --> 00:06:11,898
No.
108
00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:13,174
Noel.
109
00:06:13,260 --> 00:06:17,936
Noel. Think about it.
We could do something with him.
110
00:06:20,620 --> 00:06:24,249
I'd rather serve 20 without remission
than speak to that. No!
111
00:06:24,340 --> 00:06:26,615
We need him. He can get you off this.
112
00:06:26,700 --> 00:06:28,611
Do you hear me?!
113
00:06:28,700 --> 00:06:32,215
I've cut him off like a dead fucking limb.
114
00:06:32,300 --> 00:06:34,291
He's no part of me.
115
00:06:36,140 --> 00:06:37,175
- (Tom) You all right there?
116
00:06:37,260 --> 00:06:38,818
Fucking rot then!
117
00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:40,936
I'm not waiting for you!
118
00:06:42,020 --> 00:06:43,578
HINGES CREAK
119
00:06:43,660 --> 00:06:44,934
DOOR SLAMS
120
00:06:45,020 --> 00:06:46,817
Mum's too upset to talk.
121
00:06:46,900 --> 00:06:49,334
Having a bit of family bother.
122
00:06:49,420 --> 00:06:53,459
Very bad timing on Frank's part.
123
00:06:53,540 --> 00:06:57,692
I have managed to persuade her
not to burn your house down.
124
00:06:57,780 --> 00:07:00,135
But you do owe her three grand.
125
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:01,653
Pay up.
126
00:07:01,740 --> 00:07:03,173
Fast.
127
00:07:07,660 --> 00:07:10,493
Good job Mandy's here to protect us,
she'll see us right!
128
00:07:10,580 --> 00:07:12,138
Me dad's goin' down.
129
00:07:12,220 --> 00:07:14,051
She's not as malleable as normal!
130
00:07:14,140 --> 00:07:15,573
Shit!
131
00:07:15,660 --> 00:07:17,537
What are we gonna do?
132
00:07:17,620 --> 00:07:19,929
Only one thing to do.
133
00:07:20,900 --> 00:07:23,698
Borrow it off mates who are minted.
134
00:07:27,620 --> 00:07:30,214
- (Lillian) Have you seen it?
- It woke me up.
135
00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:32,768
- Everyone's heard the bugger.
- What's up?
136
00:07:32,860 --> 00:07:37,012
- Lillian's lost her rooster.
- Goddammit, I'm gonna bomb your village!
137
00:07:37,100 --> 00:07:40,251
Can't call it a cock in our house.
Cause all manner of palaver.
138
00:07:40,340 --> 00:07:43,537
Only got it for Latvian girl. Thought
it might make her feel more at home.
139
00:07:43,620 --> 00:07:45,292
She's allergic.
140
00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:49,055
I need a favour.
141
00:07:49,140 --> 00:07:50,289
Yeah?
142
00:07:52,100 --> 00:07:54,250
I feel a right twat.
143
00:07:54,340 --> 00:07:57,491
I need a loan. Three grand.
My dad's had your mum's drugs.
144
00:07:57,580 --> 00:07:59,218
It's an emergency.
145
00:07:59,300 --> 00:08:00,449
We can't do it, mate.
146
00:08:00,540 --> 00:08:02,895
Please. I've seen the safe,
I know you've got it.
147
00:08:02,980 --> 00:08:05,619
It's all gone. Deposit for a kitchen.
148
00:08:05,700 --> 00:08:07,452
Doing the Thai food thing.
149
00:08:07,540 --> 00:08:09,849
Three grand's not that much
and it is going to your family.
150
00:08:09,940 --> 00:08:12,693
Sorry. We know you're good for it.
151
00:08:12,780 --> 00:08:16,295
We would. We really would, but...
152
00:08:16,380 --> 00:08:18,450
Pot's dry.
153
00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:23,018
New staff. Victor.
154
00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:26,137
He's a cook. You know, with you off travelling.
155
00:08:26,220 --> 00:08:27,414
I'm not going for ages.
156
00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:29,377
- Sorry.
157
00:08:29,460 --> 00:08:32,816
We'll still need you for
loads of shifts. Plenty of work.
158
00:08:35,260 --> 00:08:38,457
Here y'are, mate.
Have one on the management.
159
00:08:38,540 --> 00:08:41,452
They're not just my bosses,
they're my mates.
160
00:08:41,540 --> 00:08:45,249
No such thing. Capital, labour.
Cast off your chains. Us and them.
161
00:08:45,340 --> 00:08:48,138
I'm still with them.
162
00:08:48,220 --> 00:08:49,448
Class traitor, are you?
163
00:08:49,540 --> 00:08:50,689
Piss off.
164
00:09:00,500 --> 00:09:03,458
Suction central. One of your gents
slaps this on for a posh wank,
165
00:09:03,540 --> 00:09:05,656
he won't need a hospital,
he'll need a morgue.
166
00:09:05,740 --> 00:09:07,298
Will it vac up chicken poo?
167
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:10,372
It's strong enough for human cack.
168
00:09:10,460 --> 00:09:13,099
Actually, that might be handy.
169
00:09:13,180 --> 00:09:15,091
I need to launder some bills.
170
00:09:20,540 --> 00:09:23,259
Bye, love. Filled your boots, eh?
171
00:09:23,340 --> 00:09:24,534
That mine, then?
172
00:09:24,620 --> 00:09:27,657
No, that's the demonstrator.
173
00:09:27,740 --> 00:09:30,652
You get a brand-new one.
Firm'll deliver it.
174
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,616
Give me that fucking money!
175
00:09:46,540 --> 00:09:48,770
IAN GROANS
176
00:09:51,660 --> 00:09:56,415
Great fire will surely rain down
upon them and smite...
177
00:09:56,500 --> 00:09:57,899
Shut up.
178
00:09:57,980 --> 00:10:00,938
Think, Shane.
179
00:10:03,380 --> 00:10:07,214
He's not even gone down yet
and they are putting the squeeze on us.
180
00:10:07,300 --> 00:10:08,779
- What's next?
- War.
181
00:10:08,860 --> 00:10:12,170
No. We're nothing without your dad.
182
00:10:12,260 --> 00:10:13,454
Are you scared?
183
00:10:13,540 --> 00:10:16,850
Of course I am. I'm not stupid.
184
00:10:23,900 --> 00:10:25,413
Been robbed.
185
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:27,695
Took my cash, the demonstrator...
We're totally screwed.
186
00:10:27,780 --> 00:10:28,769
What are we gonna do?
187
00:10:28,860 --> 00:10:31,055
Can't borrow the money, can't earn it.
188
00:10:31,140 --> 00:10:33,608
No, this isn't gonna happen.
I'm not gonna let it.
189
00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:35,179
It's time for us to all muck in.
190
00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:38,218
Work? In my condition?
191
00:10:38,300 --> 00:10:39,938
Right, yeah, I'm the dickhead.
It's my fault.
192
00:10:40,020 --> 00:10:41,294
Dad's.
193
00:10:41,380 --> 00:10:45,055
We all need to chip in.
Mimi has to be paid. Yeah?
194
00:10:45,140 --> 00:10:46,858
Yeah.
195
00:10:46,940 --> 00:10:48,498
(Debbie) Carl?
196
00:10:48,580 --> 00:10:49,012
Yeah.
197
00:10:49,100 --> 00:10:50,215
(Debbie) Ian?
198
00:10:50,300 --> 00:10:52,018
Right. Come on, let's get to work!
199
00:10:52,100 --> 00:10:53,499
Oh, yeah!
200
00:10:53,580 --> 00:10:55,775
None of the kids can deal while you're on bail.
201
00:10:55,860 --> 00:10:59,648
Business on hold.
How are we gonna manage?
202
00:10:59,740 --> 00:11:00,695
We'll find a way.
203
00:11:00,780 --> 00:11:01,735
I'm not getting involved.
204
00:11:01,820 --> 00:11:04,380
Neither am I.
205
00:11:04,460 --> 00:11:06,928
We're going down the pan.
206
00:11:07,020 --> 00:11:09,818
Only one chance.
207
00:11:09,900 --> 00:11:11,094
I can't do that.
208
00:11:11,180 --> 00:11:12,454
Why not?
209
00:11:12,540 --> 00:11:15,498
Mind your own business.
210
00:11:15,580 --> 00:11:16,649
Mum's rang Noel.
211
00:11:16,740 --> 00:11:21,416
If you ask him yourself,
he'll drop everything and come.
212
00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:26,210
- You rang him?
- I've got to help you! What else can we do?!
213
00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:39,332
I can't do it.
214
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:41,019
Not even for you.
215
00:11:48,220 --> 00:11:51,212
You out? Your brief's better than I thought.
216
00:11:51,300 --> 00:11:52,415
Shut your mouth, bitch. I own you.
217
00:11:52,500 --> 00:11:54,695
Not much point owning me
where you're going.
218
00:11:54,780 --> 00:11:58,329
And I can't do anything to stop that, boss.
219
00:12:11,140 --> 00:12:13,449
KEYPAD TONES
220
00:12:13,540 --> 00:12:16,054
HE SIGHS
221
00:12:20,780 --> 00:12:22,213
It's me.
222
00:12:24,820 --> 00:12:28,017
I need your help, and it's not a kidney.
223
00:12:28,100 --> 00:12:30,568
Please, Noel.
224
00:12:39,140 --> 00:12:40,778
What? You'll consider me? Really?
225
00:12:42,260 --> 00:12:46,890
I've got absolutely no experience,
and I'm very preggie.
226
00:12:49,260 --> 00:12:51,490
Oh, what a shame!
227
00:12:51,580 --> 00:12:53,377
No, don't worry about it.
228
00:12:53,460 --> 00:12:56,293
Soon as you mention that, brick wall!
229
00:12:56,380 --> 00:12:59,213
Mm, yeah. There should be a law.
230
00:13:00,820 --> 00:13:02,697
Phew...
231
00:13:04,860 --> 00:13:05,929
I need another demonstrator.
232
00:13:06,020 --> 00:13:08,818
In this scenario,
I will be willing to sell you another.
233
00:13:08,900 --> 00:13:13,018
Special circs etc.
All we need is ¡ê100
234
00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:17,013
and, before you know it,
the cash lorry's backing into your depot.
235
00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:18,818
Beep, beep, beep.
236
00:13:18,900 --> 00:13:21,812
I'm skint! Can I get an advance?
237
00:13:21,900 --> 00:13:24,539
Company policy. Hands tied.
238
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:31,738
Hey, get off if you want.
239
00:13:31,820 --> 00:13:34,380
Come back tonight.
I know you need to get settled.
240
00:13:34,460 --> 00:13:36,257
Yeah, I do.
241
00:13:36,340 --> 00:13:37,534
You're all right, then?
242
00:13:37,620 --> 00:13:38,973
Yeah? Why?
243
00:13:39,060 --> 00:13:41,858
Got a text saying you'd
been stabbed and were in A&E.
244
00:13:41,940 --> 00:13:45,535
That's that evil wanker who took my phone,
and my money, and my Hoover!
245
00:13:45,620 --> 00:13:47,736
- Nasty!
- And why aren't you looking for work?
246
00:13:47,820 --> 00:13:49,139
I've tried!
247
00:13:49,220 --> 00:13:52,610
No-one wants an unqualified
pregnant woman of my advanced years!
248
00:13:52,700 --> 00:13:56,693
Sexism, ageism, womb-ism.
Give us a whisky and a tomato juice.
249
00:13:56,780 --> 00:13:59,772
It's what my body wants.
250
00:13:59,860 --> 00:14:01,088
Where you off?
251
00:14:01,180 --> 00:14:02,295
Dry cleaners.
252
00:14:02,380 --> 00:14:03,654
You gonna cash up?
253
00:14:03,740 --> 00:14:05,856
Do it all in one go tonight.
254
00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:08,811
I'll get Vic. You leg it.
255
00:14:08,900 --> 00:14:10,299
Yeah, OK.
256
00:14:36,020 --> 00:14:37,373
So, yeah...
257
00:14:38,860 --> 00:14:40,816
Cheers. See ya tonight.
258
00:14:40,900 --> 00:14:42,458
See ya.
259
00:14:44,860 --> 00:14:46,771
(Fuckl)
260
00:14:46,860 --> 00:14:48,213
I've put in for firearms.
261
00:14:48,300 --> 00:14:50,689
I'm on shifts at the airport
with machine guns.
262
00:14:50,780 --> 00:14:54,614
Why? All those civilians, surely
a machine gun's the last thing you need?
263
00:14:54,700 --> 00:14:56,179
They look really cool!
264
00:14:56,260 --> 00:14:59,297
Sergeant! I've been looking for you.
265
00:14:59,380 --> 00:15:03,089
- Ma'am.
- Mm, ma'am! I like that!
266
00:15:03,180 --> 00:15:07,139
Next week, Los Angeles.
Fact-finding mission. Gang scum.
267
00:15:07,220 --> 00:15:10,018
"Popping caps in your assl" and so on.
268
00:15:10,100 --> 00:15:14,298
- Wanna come? With me?
- I'd love to, but I don't have a passport, ma'am.
269
00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:15,654
I'll go!
270
00:15:15,740 --> 00:15:18,812
I don't think so!
271
00:15:18,900 --> 00:15:21,653
I'm disappointed.
272
00:15:21,740 --> 00:15:22,934
Very.
273
00:15:24,540 --> 00:15:25,893
She thinks I made that up!
274
00:15:25,980 --> 00:15:27,299
Well, you did!
275
00:15:27,380 --> 00:15:29,974
- I didn't! I ain't got a passport.
- Yes, you have!
276
00:15:30,060 --> 00:15:32,051
Shut up, Tom! Who's the sergeant?
277
00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:33,937
Don't see why she wouldn't take me!
278
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:37,057
Your lack of vagina!
How do you think she became sergeant?
279
00:15:37,140 --> 00:15:38,289
You and me are gonna fall out!
280
00:15:39,900 --> 00:15:41,174
I thought we already had!
281
00:16:15,020 --> 00:16:15,975
Please!
282
00:16:24,220 --> 00:16:25,858
What?
283
00:16:38,300 --> 00:16:40,336
Ah. You were here two hours ago, love.
284
00:16:40,420 --> 00:16:42,172
I still don't want one.
285
00:16:50,180 --> 00:16:53,377
Admit it, Vic!
You stole money out the fuckin' till!
286
00:16:53,460 --> 00:16:55,416
I didn't! I fuckin' swear!
287
00:16:55,500 --> 00:16:56,933
I'm a workin' man, not a thief!
288
00:16:57,020 --> 00:16:59,170
- What's goin' on?
- This one's had his hand in the till.
289
00:16:59,260 --> 00:17:02,775
It wasn't me! Typical boss class!
290
00:17:02,860 --> 00:17:04,373
Maybe it wasn't him.
291
00:17:04,460 --> 00:17:06,530
Don't you go all "workers united" on us!
292
00:17:06,620 --> 00:17:08,736
This is well out of order. Fuck you both!
293
00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:11,937
You're a pussy-whipped bastard,
and you're a fuckin' slag!
294
00:17:12,020 --> 00:17:13,419
Oh, yeah?!
295
00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:23,253
Christ's sake. You cannot get the staff.
296
00:17:27,260 --> 00:17:29,330
So why did you fall out again?
297
00:17:29,420 --> 00:17:31,650
Don't want to talk about it.
298
00:17:31,740 --> 00:17:34,300
- It's cos Uncle Noel's gay.
- Who told you?
299
00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:37,850
(Paddy) That's not... Shut it!
300
00:17:37,940 --> 00:17:40,977
- We all know!
- Don't talk about it!
301
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:45,372
It's bad enough having a pillow-biter
in the family without... voicing it.
302
00:17:47,620 --> 00:17:49,372
So you're identical twins?
303
00:17:52,300 --> 00:17:53,528
Oh...
304
00:17:56,500 --> 00:17:58,536
What do you mean by "Oh"?
305
00:17:58,620 --> 00:18:01,009
I dunno, it's just "identical"
306
00:18:01,100 --> 00:18:03,136
means "exactly the same"...
307
00:18:03,220 --> 00:18:07,736
If you so much as fuckin' hint that
I'm some bum-burgling no-mark again
308
00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:12,974
and I'll rip your fuckin' entrails out!
Do you understand me?!
309
00:18:13,060 --> 00:18:16,018
Do ya?
310
00:18:16,100 --> 00:18:18,853
There's only one pervert in this family!
311
00:18:18,940 --> 00:18:21,773
What do you say?
312
00:18:21,860 --> 00:18:24,249
Hello, Uncle Noel!
313
00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:29,892
Plus ca change,
plus c'est la meme chose!
314
00:18:29,980 --> 00:18:31,971
Bonjour, Patrick!
315
00:18:36,860 --> 00:18:40,614
I'm not sticking up for him.
I'm just saying there's other possibilities!
316
00:18:40,700 --> 00:18:44,579
Do you want your shifts back or
should we go and find someone else?
317
00:18:44,660 --> 00:18:47,538
Yeah. I'll have 'em. Cheers.
318
00:18:52,740 --> 00:18:54,890
He's never forgiven me
for being the oldest.
319
00:18:54,980 --> 00:18:58,131
I am the oldest! I was in the birth cana!
When you came out of the C-section.
320
00:18:58,220 --> 00:19:00,415
That's the real race!
321
00:19:00,500 --> 00:19:03,731
I breathed air first! Ergo oldest.
322
00:19:03,820 --> 00:19:06,493
It's the oldest argument, too. I've missed it!
323
00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:07,933
I haven't.
324
00:19:08,020 --> 00:19:09,851
And I was Mammy's favourite.
325
00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:14,013
She liked going shopping with you.
That doesn't make you favourite.
326
00:19:14,100 --> 00:19:18,298
Who wouldn't prefer shopping to waiting
in police stations? I was a good boy.
327
00:19:18,380 --> 00:19:22,259
What's so good about gay pride, huh?
What a laugh! What's to be proud of?
328
00:19:22,340 --> 00:19:23,693
Clearly nothing for you.
329
00:19:23,780 --> 00:19:25,930
And for that I'm out of your life?
330
00:19:26,020 --> 00:19:29,217
- And I miss your family growing up?
- (Mimi) Stop it! There's no time for this.
331
00:19:29,300 --> 00:19:33,851
Paddy's in a hole,
looking at 20 years inside!
332
00:19:33,940 --> 00:19:36,534
What do you want me to do?
333
00:19:36,620 --> 00:19:39,692
We wanna confuse the police
with this identical twin thing,
334
00:19:39,780 --> 00:19:44,934
restage the robbery on the chemist
with one of you in custody as Paddy.
335
00:19:45,020 --> 00:19:47,409
Crime? Mercy!
336
00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:53,097
Exactly the same job, but with
Paddy inside he'll have a definite alibi!
337
00:19:53,180 --> 00:19:56,217
Means it might not have
been him the first time,
338
00:19:56,300 --> 00:19:59,849
creates a reasonable doubt!
They'll never get a conviction.
339
00:19:59,940 --> 00:20:01,168
What about me?
340
00:20:01,260 --> 00:20:04,775
They'll be seeking a lookie-likie.
Why not try twinnie? I would!
341
00:20:04,860 --> 00:20:07,420
Cos nobody knows shit about you.
I made sure of that.
342
00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:08,455
And what if I get caught?
343
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:10,371
Think of all the men desperate for sex!
344
00:20:11,340 --> 00:20:15,049
There are easier ways than...
345
00:20:15,140 --> 00:20:18,849
Why do I bother?
Why would I risk that for you?
346
00:20:18,940 --> 00:20:21,010
You despise me!
347
00:20:21,100 --> 00:20:22,613
Family.
348
00:20:23,340 --> 00:20:25,774
We'll do everything to keep
you out the frame.
349
00:20:25,860 --> 00:20:28,693
It's a risk.
350
00:20:28,780 --> 00:20:30,213
Scared, gay boy?
351
00:20:32,980 --> 00:20:35,778
Not as scared as you this time.
352
00:20:38,500 --> 00:20:42,618
Oh, Patrick...
We were as close as could be.
353
00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:45,294
You're still an angry thug.
354
00:20:45,380 --> 00:20:47,689
I won't do it.
355
00:20:49,700 --> 00:20:52,817
Nice one, prisoner 5645!
356
00:20:52,900 --> 00:20:55,539
What's your fall-back plan, Houdini?
357
00:20:59,980 --> 00:21:02,414
Mickey!
358
00:21:02,500 --> 00:21:05,060
Uncle Noel - go fetch him back.
359
00:21:05,140 --> 00:21:06,255
Why me?
360
00:21:06,340 --> 00:21:08,615
- You're the nearest thing we've got to a pansy!
- Piss off!
361
00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:10,372
Don't come back without him!
362
00:21:15,860 --> 00:21:17,418
Y'all right?
363
00:21:17,500 --> 00:21:18,933
See ya later, Terry.
364
00:22:13,340 --> 00:22:16,093
VIBRATOR WHIRRS
365
00:22:37,620 --> 00:22:40,532
COCK CROWS
366
00:22:40,620 --> 00:22:42,815
Roast dinner-dodging bastard!
367
00:22:42,900 --> 00:22:45,539
Jesus. What's the time?
368
00:22:45,620 --> 00:22:48,692
COCK CROWS
369
00:22:48,780 --> 00:22:50,133
What's that smell?
370
00:22:53,340 --> 00:22:54,739
- Fuck!
- Shit!
371
00:23:07,060 --> 00:23:08,732
Goblin Teasmade.
372
00:23:19,700 --> 00:23:22,453
Surprisingly comfortable,
your fanny magnet.
373
00:23:24,380 --> 00:23:26,848
I'm not outing anyone.
374
00:23:28,460 --> 00:23:29,893
I know what he's like.
375
00:23:33,100 --> 00:23:34,499
When did you last see him?
376
00:23:36,300 --> 00:23:40,054
Ooh, when he said,
"Stay away from me, ya dirty poofl"
377
00:23:43,500 --> 00:23:45,377
Can't have been all his fault.
378
00:23:47,820 --> 00:23:50,971
He thought we were completely
honest with each other.
379
00:23:52,660 --> 00:23:54,173
Caught me in flagrante.
380
00:23:54,260 --> 00:23:55,249
Is that a nightclub?
381
00:23:55,340 --> 00:23:58,059
- In the act.
- I know what it means!
382
00:23:59,940 --> 00:24:01,293
Kicked my head in.
383
00:24:02,500 --> 00:24:04,456
Felt betrayed.
384
00:24:04,540 --> 00:24:06,258
Couldn't trust me.
385
00:24:07,860 --> 00:24:09,373
Irrevocable breakdown.
386
00:24:10,860 --> 00:24:14,375
And then you fucked off to uni
and started wankin' on like a student?
387
00:24:15,820 --> 00:24:17,014
Indubitably!
388
00:24:20,260 --> 00:24:23,172
We'd stopped getting along
before he knew.
389
00:24:23,260 --> 00:24:26,252
He used it as an excuse
to formalise the break.
390
00:24:27,860 --> 00:24:29,339
He betrayed me.
391
00:24:29,420 --> 00:24:31,615
He did.
392
00:24:31,700 --> 00:24:32,974
And he knows it.
393
00:24:33,060 --> 00:24:35,096
Why d'you think he's so guilty?
394
00:24:39,260 --> 00:24:42,013
I know he's a bastard...
395
00:24:42,100 --> 00:24:43,738
but I still don't want him to go down.
396
00:24:45,620 --> 00:24:48,453
Please, Uncle Noel.
397
00:25:01,420 --> 00:25:04,696
Could've been worse.
We could look like this.
398
00:25:05,860 --> 00:25:09,648
What the fuck?!
Are you all right? What happened?
399
00:25:09,740 --> 00:25:14,450
Torched. That prat Victor!
I'm gonna rip his spleen out!
400
00:25:14,540 --> 00:25:16,019
Jesus, I thought...
401
00:25:17,100 --> 00:25:18,294
I'm so sorry.
402
00:25:18,380 --> 00:25:20,530
It's hardly your fault, mate.
403
00:25:20,620 --> 00:25:22,099
It is.
404
00:25:25,460 --> 00:25:27,257
I should've been nicer to him.
405
00:25:27,340 --> 00:25:30,013
I felt sorry for him. Lost his last job.
406
00:25:30,100 --> 00:25:32,136
What?
407
00:25:32,220 --> 00:25:34,609
He lost his last one when the pub...
408
00:25:36,100 --> 00:25:37,897
...burnt down.
409
00:25:37,980 --> 00:25:39,891
Christ's sake, Jamie!
410
00:25:39,980 --> 00:25:43,734
We'd be baked if it
weren't for that bird!
411
00:25:43,820 --> 00:25:45,492
Lillian's rooster?
412
00:25:45,580 --> 00:25:47,218
Woke us up cock-a-doodling.
413
00:25:47,300 --> 00:25:49,609
Bloody Fire Brigade! Why couldn't
they watch where they were going?
414
00:25:49,700 --> 00:25:51,850
I'll... take it to Lillian's.
415
00:25:53,820 --> 00:25:55,811
Might have to lay you off for a bit, mate.
416
00:26:08,940 --> 00:26:10,339
Well, you could try.
417
00:26:15,540 --> 00:26:16,973
What's up?
418
00:26:21,140 --> 00:26:24,496
Done something really stupid.
419
00:26:24,580 --> 00:26:26,138
Well, can you fix it?
420
00:26:27,820 --> 00:26:29,617
Don't you want to know what it is?
421
00:26:32,580 --> 00:26:34,172
Don't know if I can.
422
00:26:35,780 --> 00:26:40,456
I mean, I could shut up about it
and no-one would know the difference.
423
00:26:42,220 --> 00:26:45,656
I've been a total twat to mates.
424
00:26:45,740 --> 00:26:48,379
And what good would telling the truth do?
425
00:26:49,980 --> 00:26:51,538
It might make me feel better.
426
00:26:53,300 --> 00:26:57,088
Just keep it shut,
cope with the guilt on your own.
427
00:26:57,180 --> 00:26:58,613
That's the punishment.
428
00:27:05,020 --> 00:27:06,373
Fuckin' hell.
429
00:27:06,460 --> 00:27:08,928
COMPUTER GAME BLARES
430
00:27:11,380 --> 00:27:13,211
What are you doing? You had me.
431
00:27:13,300 --> 00:27:16,610
I can't be arsed. I only play it for you.
432
00:27:17,620 --> 00:27:19,975
- Have you found Noel?
- In t'car, waiting for yous.
433
00:27:20,060 --> 00:27:22,813
We've been camping out all night.
434
00:27:40,500 --> 00:27:43,253
I see you're gonna make me pay
for all the years of hurt.
435
00:27:43,340 --> 00:27:44,534
Who wants the favour?
436
00:27:44,620 --> 00:27:48,329
Am I gonna have to bend over
backwards or forwards?
437
00:27:51,260 --> 00:27:52,295
Sorry.
438
00:27:53,740 --> 00:27:55,173
Sorry.
439
00:28:03,940 --> 00:28:06,932
Why does it matter to you
what I do with my cock?
440
00:28:08,540 --> 00:28:12,579
We...
441
00:28:12,660 --> 00:28:13,934
wanked together.
442
00:28:14,020 --> 00:28:16,011
You're not gay, Pat.
443
00:28:16,100 --> 00:28:19,217
I would have died for you
and you were lying. You lied!
444
00:28:19,300 --> 00:28:20,892
You loved me being gay.
445
00:28:20,980 --> 00:28:23,369
It meant you could break away,
446
00:28:23,460 --> 00:28:25,928
be on your own, not part of a pair.
447
00:28:26,020 --> 00:28:28,454
And then you end up with a wife,
448
00:28:28,540 --> 00:28:29,893
who's as close as a twin.
449
00:28:29,980 --> 00:28:33,893
Is that irony? I can never remember.
I'll have to look it up.
450
00:28:36,220 --> 00:28:37,938
I'll let you in on a little secret.
451
00:28:39,380 --> 00:28:40,733
I wasn't her favourite.
452
00:28:42,100 --> 00:28:43,533
She just hated me less.
453
00:28:48,300 --> 00:28:50,860
Jesus, I'd forgotten how much
of a bleedin' know-all you are.
454
00:28:51,940 --> 00:28:53,976
Are you gonna help me?
455
00:28:56,140 --> 00:28:57,573
I might.
456
00:28:59,540 --> 00:29:03,772
And what fucking silly-arsed hoops
are you gonna make me leap through first?
457
00:29:11,700 --> 00:29:13,850
Noel has very kindly agreed to help.
458
00:29:13,940 --> 00:29:15,612
About fuckin' time.
459
00:29:15,700 --> 00:29:19,739
In return, I'd like yous all to make space
in your diary for Noel's nuptials.
460
00:29:19,820 --> 00:29:23,176
- You what?
- Noel's marrying...
461
00:29:23,260 --> 00:29:24,978
Lionel.
462
00:29:25,060 --> 00:29:28,735
I'm giving him away
and paying for it.
463
00:29:28,820 --> 00:29:30,617
I'm really happy for you, Noel.
464
00:29:30,700 --> 00:29:31,894
Thanks.
465
00:29:33,860 --> 00:29:34,815
Nice one.
466
00:29:36,620 --> 00:29:39,009
What you talking about?
It's two fuckin' blokes.
467
00:29:39,100 --> 00:29:43,332
Shut it! If he's keeping me out of prison,
he can marry a fucking horse!
468
00:29:43,420 --> 00:29:46,617
Not that I'd ever... ever compare Leonard...
469
00:29:46,700 --> 00:29:49,453
- Lionel.
...Lionel to a horse.
470
00:29:49,540 --> 00:29:51,132
Thanks, Pat.
471
00:29:53,300 --> 00:29:54,733
We need a dress rehearsal.
472
00:29:57,780 --> 00:29:59,930
Why do I have to be the chemist?
473
00:30:00,020 --> 00:30:04,775
- This is a robbery, motherfucker!
- Shane, language.
474
00:30:04,860 --> 00:30:06,373
But that's what I said last time.
475
00:30:06,460 --> 00:30:08,416
I'm sorry. I thought we were
doing this exactly the same.
476
00:30:08,500 --> 00:30:09,694
We are.
477
00:30:12,020 --> 00:30:14,375
Open the back
or I'll chop your fuckin' hand off.
478
00:30:14,460 --> 00:30:16,337
No, I... I can't do this.
479
00:30:16,420 --> 00:30:18,138
It's...
480
00:30:18,220 --> 00:30:20,097
so violent.
481
00:30:20,180 --> 00:30:21,738
I mean, it's just not me.
482
00:30:21,820 --> 00:30:24,015
Christ on a... bike!
483
00:30:24,100 --> 00:30:29,299
When you asked me to do this and!
Very kindly and perhaps foolishly agreed,
484
00:30:29,380 --> 00:30:35,819
I assumed it was going to be me in prison
for the evening, pretending to be you.
485
00:30:35,900 --> 00:30:37,094
Hm?
486
00:30:37,180 --> 00:30:41,651
Now, there's doing you a favour
and there's total stupidity.
487
00:30:42,740 --> 00:30:44,571
There's only so much I can do.
488
00:30:50,220 --> 00:30:51,175
OK, fine.
489
00:30:51,260 --> 00:30:53,569
Your way.
490
00:30:53,660 --> 00:30:56,572
I do the robbery, I take all the risk.
491
00:30:58,260 --> 00:30:59,329
Seems fair.
492
00:31:04,340 --> 00:31:05,978
See you, Yvonne.
493
00:31:07,860 --> 00:31:11,648
Just had a whisper from a snout.
New dealer we're after? Small, 'bout ten.
494
00:31:11,740 --> 00:31:15,176
- White, roundish face, brown hair?
- Like him?
495
00:31:16,700 --> 00:31:18,577
Or... him?
496
00:31:23,140 --> 00:31:25,096
No, like 'im.
497
00:31:25,180 --> 00:31:26,898
Oi! Gallagher!
498
00:31:29,100 --> 00:31:31,056
- Come here, you.
- Get off me.
499
00:31:35,580 --> 00:31:36,535
What's this?
500
00:31:36,620 --> 00:31:38,690
- Where d'you get that?
- Selling fairy cakes.
501
00:31:38,780 --> 00:31:41,055
- Sounds a bit far-fetched.
- It's true.
502
00:31:41,140 --> 00:31:47,090
Look, go home, and if you're up to
bad stuff, stop now. D'you hear me?
503
00:31:47,180 --> 00:31:48,533
No chance. He's nicked.
504
00:31:48,620 --> 00:31:51,692
- What? He let me go!
- Ain't gonna happen. Fairy cakes?
505
00:31:51,780 --> 00:31:54,169
- He'll crack under questioning.
- Look, we're letting him go.
506
00:31:54,260 --> 00:31:56,933
- It is quite a lot.
- Get off. You've just blown it.
507
00:31:57,020 --> 00:31:58,851
Last chance. You're finished.
508
00:31:58,940 --> 00:32:00,692
Let him go, Wendy!
509
00:32:03,220 --> 00:32:04,335
Wendy?
510
00:32:04,420 --> 00:32:07,014
Who's Wendy?
511
00:32:08,540 --> 00:32:09,814
Scarper.
512
00:32:09,900 --> 00:32:12,016
Oi!
513
00:32:22,300 --> 00:32:24,530
We've both done wrong.
514
00:32:24,620 --> 00:32:27,259
Not obeying insane sergeant, wrist slap.
515
00:32:27,340 --> 00:32:29,649
Assuming false identity to get job in police,
516
00:32:29,740 --> 00:32:31,731
- five years.
- So I said I was my sister.
517
00:32:31,820 --> 00:32:35,290
- Big balaumba!
- Yes, it is. Why?
518
00:32:36,380 --> 00:32:38,177
Failed the psychological tests.
519
00:32:38,260 --> 00:32:41,730
Not suitable. Joke. That ink spot
did look like Myra Hindley.
520
00:32:41,820 --> 00:32:45,096
- I'm a born copper.
- Where's your sister?
521
00:32:45,180 --> 00:32:46,408
Dead.
522
00:32:49,020 --> 00:32:52,137
Did you... kill her?
523
00:32:52,220 --> 00:32:56,691
She died in a plane crash in Africa.
524
00:32:56,780 --> 00:33:00,489
There was some confusion
over the death certificate,
525
00:33:00,580 --> 00:33:02,457
so I gave myself another shot.
526
00:33:02,540 --> 00:33:03,893
How did you pass the test?
527
00:33:03,980 --> 00:33:05,572
I learned all the answers.
528
00:33:08,300 --> 00:33:13,249
Look, I'm a sergeant. Everything's good,
I'm good. Please, Tom.
529
00:33:13,340 --> 00:33:14,898
I live for this job. You know I do.
530
00:33:14,980 --> 00:33:17,175
- I'm nothing without it.
- I dunno.
531
00:33:17,260 --> 00:33:20,411
I'll do anything to stay on the force,
anything, please.
532
00:33:20,500 --> 00:33:22,855
D'you wanna have sex with me?
533
00:33:22,940 --> 00:33:25,579
No. Yes... No!
534
00:33:25,660 --> 00:33:28,379
Go on. Any position, any kink.
535
00:33:28,460 --> 00:33:29,688
Stop it!
536
00:33:29,780 --> 00:33:31,498
I don't want sex with you.
537
00:33:31,580 --> 00:33:35,459
You're all sorts of strange, bad things.
538
00:33:35,540 --> 00:33:38,612
Don't do it to me.
539
00:33:38,700 --> 00:33:39,894
Please.
540
00:33:44,300 --> 00:33:45,938
I'm beggin'.
541
00:33:52,300 --> 00:33:56,498
I can't see you thrown out of the force.
I won't say anything.
542
00:34:02,940 --> 00:34:04,612
(Yesl)
543
00:34:12,340 --> 00:34:15,013
Ah, another hand for the deck.
544
00:34:15,100 --> 00:34:16,374
Be like new in no time.
545
00:34:18,260 --> 00:34:20,933
That Victor,
he's working at The Feathers.
546
00:34:21,020 --> 00:34:23,853
You haven't done anything yet?
547
00:34:23,940 --> 00:34:27,250
- Thought we'd leave him a bit.
- They're the competition.
548
00:34:27,340 --> 00:34:30,776
A fire there wouldn't be bad news.
549
00:34:34,940 --> 00:34:36,612
It was me who took the money.
550
00:34:39,260 --> 00:34:40,215
I'm sorry.
551
00:34:40,300 --> 00:34:43,019
I thought I could borrow it and get it back.
552
00:34:43,100 --> 00:34:45,250
I wasn't gonna nick it.
553
00:34:45,340 --> 00:34:48,093
I'm really, really, fuckin' sorry.
554
00:34:48,180 --> 00:34:53,379
I'll pay you back. I'll redecorate.
I shouldn't have done it. I'm sorry.
555
00:34:53,460 --> 00:34:55,257
You were family.
556
00:34:55,340 --> 00:34:56,898
I'm sorry.
557
00:34:56,980 --> 00:34:58,936
Keys.
558
00:35:02,140 --> 00:35:04,973
Now piss off.
559
00:35:21,780 --> 00:35:24,055
Right, let's take stock.
560
00:35:24,140 --> 00:35:27,052
Now, then, I've run up
against society's prejudice,
561
00:35:27,140 --> 00:35:28,812
so I've earned nothing.
562
00:35:28,900 --> 00:35:31,016
¡ê22.73.
563
00:35:31,100 --> 00:35:32,294
200.
564
00:35:32,380 --> 00:35:34,291
Minus 350.
565
00:35:37,660 --> 00:35:41,050
Me and Liam did it together.
566
00:35:41,140 --> 00:35:42,619
You have won...
567
00:35:42,700 --> 00:35:47,091
¡ê3,850.
568
00:35:47,180 --> 00:35:49,011
Where the fuck?!
569
00:35:49,100 --> 00:35:50,658
Fairy cakes.
570
00:35:50,740 --> 00:35:51,934
With hash in.
571
00:35:53,020 --> 00:35:54,135
You're drug dealers?
572
00:35:54,220 --> 00:35:55,892
You can use the leftover cash
573
00:35:55,980 --> 00:35:58,494
- and pay back what you owe.
- Where did you get the drugs?
574
00:35:58,580 --> 00:36:00,252
You want 'em wholesale?
575
00:36:00,340 --> 00:36:02,456
Why not? You can't sell any.
576
00:36:03,780 --> 00:36:07,216
OK, on a very temporary basis.
577
00:36:07,300 --> 00:36:08,813
It's only dope.
578
00:36:08,900 --> 00:36:10,049
Drugs caused it.
579
00:36:10,140 --> 00:36:11,459
Dad caused it.
580
00:36:11,540 --> 00:36:13,258
Is he still in your room?
581
00:36:13,340 --> 00:36:16,696
No, Mummy, I don't wanna join the Navy.
582
00:36:16,780 --> 00:36:20,216
Oooh, shoe. Oh, shoe...
583
00:36:20,300 --> 00:36:22,734
- Why didn't you tell me?
- Cos you would have stopped us.
584
00:36:22,820 --> 00:36:25,732
- Too fucking right I would!
- Well, look, there's some left.
585
00:36:25,820 --> 00:36:28,732
I'm jobless and friendless cos of...
586
00:36:30,180 --> 00:36:32,375
Right, I'm gonna sort this out with Paddy.
587
00:36:35,820 --> 00:36:38,653
Liam, what you doin'?
588
00:36:38,740 --> 00:36:41,777
I can't... Debbie can't dea!
Drugs for you any more.
589
00:36:41,860 --> 00:36:43,054
I'm stopping anyway.
590
00:36:43,140 --> 00:36:46,815
Mimi, what's going on?
This little girl deals drugs for us?
591
00:36:46,900 --> 00:36:48,697
Three grand paid.
592
00:36:48,780 --> 00:36:51,135
I'm sorry, but we're not
doing any more dealing.
593
00:36:51,220 --> 00:36:54,815
No, temporary.
I should have told you, Paddy.
594
00:36:54,900 --> 00:36:56,379
Mimo.
595
00:36:58,300 --> 00:37:02,930
You must always share with me.
I would have put a stop to it.
596
00:37:03,020 --> 00:37:06,296
Back to school, young lady.
597
00:37:07,420 --> 00:37:08,853
Go on.
598
00:37:11,540 --> 00:37:13,371
And you...
599
00:37:16,100 --> 00:37:18,853
Thank you very much
for bringing it to my attention.
600
00:37:31,180 --> 00:37:34,058
Jesus.
601
00:37:34,140 --> 00:37:37,689
You know, maybe yous all
deserve to be in prison.
602
00:37:37,780 --> 00:37:40,453
Don't have second thoughts. Don't.
603
00:37:40,540 --> 00:37:42,212
Please.
604
00:37:45,540 --> 00:37:47,417
Good luck, Noel.
605
00:37:49,660 --> 00:37:51,457
Good luck, Pat.
606
00:37:59,660 --> 00:38:00,854
You!
607
00:38:00,940 --> 00:38:02,976
Yes, you!
608
00:38:03,060 --> 00:38:06,097
You are a big, bald...
609
00:38:06,180 --> 00:38:08,774
bumhole, that's what you are!
610
00:38:08,860 --> 00:38:11,658
- Had a couple too many, eh?
- So what if I have?
611
00:38:11,740 --> 00:38:13,571
What are you gonna do about it?
612
00:38:13,660 --> 00:38:15,412
Hmm? Hmm?
613
00:38:15,500 --> 00:38:17,297
I've got a few too many!
614
00:38:18,700 --> 00:38:20,531
Oh, Paddy, come on!
615
00:38:23,900 --> 00:38:26,130
Aye, all right.
What are you doing with me?
616
00:38:27,780 --> 00:38:28,929
What's he in for?
617
00:38:29,020 --> 00:38:31,056
D and D.
618
00:38:31,140 --> 00:38:33,700
Did you have any intention ever
of keeping your side of the bargain?
619
00:38:33,780 --> 00:38:37,898
- Of course.
- Cos I'm not seeing muff here, am I?
620
00:38:37,980 --> 00:38:42,929
I can imagine a scenario
where your career stutters at sergeant.
621
00:38:46,340 --> 00:38:48,535
- This is a fucking robbery, motherfucker!
- Oh, not again!
622
00:38:48,620 --> 00:38:50,975
- One false move and you're an arm down!
- OK...
623
00:38:51,060 --> 00:38:53,654
He's all bluster. I'm the real deal.
One word,
624
00:38:53,740 --> 00:38:55,935
and your balls are in the post to your wife.
625
00:38:58,380 --> 00:39:01,213
Please take whatever you want.
Don't hurt me, please.
626
00:39:15,260 --> 00:39:16,978
It's everything I could get.
627
00:39:18,100 --> 00:39:21,137
For the decorating and the...
and the money I borrowed.
628
00:39:21,220 --> 00:39:22,369
Nicked.
629
00:39:22,460 --> 00:39:24,291
I can't believe I did that.
630
00:39:24,380 --> 00:39:26,894
I was so sure you'd lend it us.
631
00:39:26,980 --> 00:39:29,255
I was hurt when you didn't,
taking the cash...
632
00:39:29,340 --> 00:39:31,137
- It was your "fuck you"?
- No.
633
00:39:33,380 --> 00:39:35,211
I just nicked it.
634
00:39:35,300 --> 00:39:38,656
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. We're mates.
635
00:39:38,740 --> 00:39:40,492
Turn the fuckin' taps off.
636
00:39:43,860 --> 00:39:46,420
We'll keep this, so just go.
637
00:39:49,060 --> 00:39:52,370
Thought you'd know something
about second chances.
638
00:39:52,460 --> 00:39:53,609
You got one.
639
00:39:57,740 --> 00:39:59,173
Got you that.
640
00:40:05,340 --> 00:40:06,773
What?
641
00:40:18,540 --> 00:40:20,019
(Paddy) 'Where is he? '
642
00:40:21,660 --> 00:40:23,651
Why haven't we heard anything?
643
00:40:23,740 --> 00:40:26,174
What if the cameras weren't working?
644
00:40:26,260 --> 00:40:28,649
What if he didn't get arrested?
645
00:40:28,740 --> 00:40:31,208
All sorts of things could go wrong.
646
00:40:31,300 --> 00:40:33,370
Why hasn't Fat Todd called?
647
00:40:33,460 --> 00:40:38,170
Relax. We've got to assume
he knows what he's doin'.
648
00:40:38,260 --> 00:40:39,249
DOOR OPENS
649
00:40:40,940 --> 00:40:42,658
Thank fuck! Where have you been?
650
00:40:42,740 --> 00:40:44,617
In a cell.
651
00:40:44,700 --> 00:40:46,770
Until Fat Todd arrived.
652
00:40:46,860 --> 00:40:48,054
He's there now.
653
00:40:57,020 --> 00:40:59,853
Is it true? About the CCTV?
654
00:40:59,940 --> 00:41:02,295
Yep. There goes the tape with the lawyer.
655
00:41:02,380 --> 00:41:04,814
Apparently, Paddy Maguire's
superhuman. Win some...
656
00:41:04,900 --> 00:41:07,414
We can't let him get away with it!
It's a scam.
657
00:41:07,500 --> 00:41:10,378
Probably, but I've had a word.
No-one's interested.
658
00:41:10,460 --> 00:41:11,973
But they've got to be. He's...
659
00:41:12,060 --> 00:41:15,018
He's a villain. He's a major face.
660
00:41:15,100 --> 00:41:17,739
We need to nick him.
He belongs inside.
661
00:41:17,820 --> 00:41:20,380
Do you always
go all Sweeney when you're angry?
662
00:41:21,620 --> 00:41:23,736
Ask them again. Please.
663
00:41:23,820 --> 00:41:27,608
- And look a right twat? No, I won't.
- Ask them and I'll have sex with you.
664
00:41:29,620 --> 00:41:32,418
No. Too late.
665
00:41:32,500 --> 00:41:36,334
WPC Flannery. Now,
there's a woman with ambition.
666
00:41:39,940 --> 00:41:42,408
They're dropping all charges.
667
00:41:42,500 --> 00:41:45,219
How do you do that?
668
00:41:45,300 --> 00:41:49,134
You on CCTV and in the cell?
669
00:41:51,140 --> 00:41:53,608
CID knows something's gone on,
670
00:41:53,700 --> 00:41:56,658
but you're just not big enough
for them to bother putting the work in.
671
00:41:56,740 --> 00:41:59,379
That cuts me to the very core.
672
00:42:00,500 --> 00:42:03,378
I'm deeply wounded.
673
00:42:03,460 --> 00:42:05,416
What's the matter?
674
00:42:05,500 --> 00:42:07,013
You don't look too pleased for me.
675
00:42:07,100 --> 00:42:08,852
I don't wanna work for you.
676
00:42:08,940 --> 00:42:11,898
But you do. Tough titty.
677
00:42:11,980 --> 00:42:13,174
What if we had sex?
678
00:42:14,340 --> 00:42:16,808
Would that be quits?
679
00:42:16,900 --> 00:42:18,811
Christ, no!
680
00:42:18,900 --> 00:42:22,131
Only need one look to know
you're a crap shag.
681
00:42:22,220 --> 00:42:26,259
You're mine
in a much better way than that.
682
00:42:37,900 --> 00:42:38,855
What?
683
00:42:40,380 --> 00:42:42,018
What?
684
00:42:51,500 --> 00:42:53,172
You're a fucking twat, Ian.
685
00:42:53,260 --> 00:42:55,091
Yeah.
686
00:42:55,180 --> 00:42:56,977
But you're our fuckin' twat.
687
00:42:59,900 --> 00:43:01,253
Will you come back?
688
00:43:03,220 --> 00:43:06,178
You sure? You really want me?
689
00:43:06,260 --> 00:43:08,330
No.
690
00:43:08,420 --> 00:43:13,016
We want somebody trustworthy.
But you'll have to do.
691
00:43:13,100 --> 00:43:15,739
We're not redecoratin'.
We're going on holiday.
692
00:43:15,820 --> 00:43:16,775
With your money.
693
00:43:17,780 --> 00:43:19,930
- Ibiza.
- And we're going now.
694
00:43:20,020 --> 00:43:21,419
(Jamie) You're late.
695
00:43:23,500 --> 00:43:24,933
Right!
696
00:43:31,020 --> 00:43:32,499
Lan!
697
00:43:32,580 --> 00:43:35,890
Bottles of your best, burnt champagne.
698
00:43:35,980 --> 00:43:37,572
LAUGHS
699
00:43:37,660 --> 00:43:41,096
- I love it when a plan comes together!
- Nice one, Dad!
700
00:43:42,100 --> 00:43:45,217
I can't stay, Pad. You don't
have to come to our wedding.
701
00:43:45,300 --> 00:43:46,255
What?!
702
00:43:46,340 --> 00:43:48,456
And I don't want you to
pay for it or give me away.
703
00:43:49,540 --> 00:43:50,655
Why not?
704
00:43:53,860 --> 00:43:56,294
I want you to come because you want to,
705
00:43:56,380 --> 00:43:58,735
that's all.
706
00:43:58,820 --> 00:44:00,538
You're invited. You all are.
707
00:44:02,780 --> 00:44:03,929
Come if you want.
708
00:44:06,340 --> 00:44:07,534
Noel...
709
00:44:09,620 --> 00:44:13,329
...it would be an honour for me
to dance at your wedding.
710
00:44:28,420 --> 00:44:30,092
Right. I'm off.
711
00:44:43,500 --> 00:44:45,934
Dance at his fuckin' wedding!
712
00:44:46,020 --> 00:44:48,090
YMCA
713
00:44:48,180 --> 00:44:50,489
It's fun to stay at the YMCA...
714
00:44:50,580 --> 00:44:53,014
- It's true, then?
- What's true?
715
00:44:53,100 --> 00:44:55,295
- The rumours.
- What rumour?
716
00:44:55,380 --> 00:44:59,339
Well, there's CCTV of you
gobbling PC Matheson.
717
00:44:59,420 --> 00:45:02,378
When you were in custody.
It was you, wasn't it?
718
00:45:08,420 --> 00:45:10,490
I'm not gay!
719
00:45:10,580 --> 00:45:13,936
Sucking someone off?
That is quite gay.
720
00:45:14,020 --> 00:45:16,170
I'm not...
721
00:45:16,260 --> 00:45:17,454
gay!
722
00:45:18,820 --> 00:45:19,969
I'm not!
723
00:45:20,060 --> 00:45:23,211
(Mimi) 'There's something in
the gene stuff. I know I love Paddy,
724
00:45:23,300 --> 00:45:25,256
'but I love the people
who remind me of him, too.
725
00:45:25,340 --> 00:45:29,856
'Sons, brothers, even his mother -
well, she did give birth to him.
726
00:45:29,940 --> 00:45:33,296
'Sometimes I'm so full of love,
I could kill anyone.'
727
00:45:33,380 --> 00:45:35,769
I'm not gay!
728
00:45:37,260 --> 00:45:38,295
Get her!
729
00:46:16,140 --> 00:46:18,210
I've had the weirdest dream.
730
00:46:19,340 --> 00:46:23,891
You lot were in it. Well,
not exactly leading parts, but...
731
00:46:23,980 --> 00:46:26,255
Is that all you've got to say?
732
00:46:26,340 --> 00:46:27,534
How are you feeling?
733
00:46:27,620 --> 00:46:30,418
Fine. Fucking starving, but fine.
734
00:46:31,540 --> 00:46:32,734
Why shouldn't I?
735
00:46:34,340 --> 00:46:36,808
What's for brekky?
736
00:46:38,740 --> 00:46:40,537
We meet again, Gallagher!
737
00:46:40,620 --> 00:46:42,417
Aargh!
738
00:46:42,500 --> 00:46:44,297
(Frank) Just say no, kids!
739
00:46:44,347 --> 00:46:48,897
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