Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:40,813 --> 00:00:42,785
Cashier number 3, please.
2
00:00:47,115 --> 00:00:48,665
He's left his candle.
3
00:00:54,095 --> 00:00:56,990
Sync: mpm & nitrogenc
4
00:01:40,185 --> 00:01:41,185
Bollocks!
5
00:02:43,125 --> 00:02:45,695
Mr Lomax, it's Michael Fry.
6
00:02:46,245 --> 00:02:47,705
Social services sent me.
7
00:02:59,685 --> 00:03:00,685
Hello?
8
00:03:10,425 --> 00:03:11,425
Hello?
9
00:03:16,731 --> 00:03:17,605
Hello?
10
00:03:22,458 --> 00:03:23,350
Mr Lomax?
11
00:03:25,445 --> 00:03:26,445
Hello?
12
00:03:40,855 --> 00:03:44,015
Get your claw out of
my Holy of Holies!
13
00:03:49,635 --> 00:03:51,015
Big push for me, Emma.
14
00:03:51,291 --> 00:03:52,315
Come on now.
15
00:03:54,675 --> 00:03:58,335
Right, push. OK, here's baby's head.
16
00:04:06,295 --> 00:04:07,295
Breathe!
17
00:04:07,465 --> 00:04:08,876
And I'll pause it there,
18
00:04:09,495 --> 00:04:13,075
as some of the dads are looking
a little bit green around the gills!
19
00:04:13,245 --> 00:04:14,785
I actually prefer this video
20
00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:16,525
because unlike some of the others
21
00:04:16,695 --> 00:04:19,150
it shows
the sheer bloody pain of it!
22
00:04:19,675 --> 00:04:23,230
And as I always say, you gotta
split the pod to get the peas out.
23
00:04:23,795 --> 00:04:25,790
I won't be showing you
the rest of this now.
24
00:04:26,050 --> 00:04:29,815
There are copies available both
on video and DBB, X certificate.
25
00:04:29,985 --> 00:04:33,435
But I would ask you not to fast forward
through the contractions, please,
26
00:04:33,605 --> 00:04:36,430
because after all,
you can't do that in real life.
27
00:04:37,005 --> 00:04:40,505
So anyway, after hours and hours
28
00:04:40,675 --> 00:04:43,595
and hours of screaming agony,
29
00:04:44,275 --> 00:04:45,825
this is what you get.
30
00:04:49,465 --> 00:04:50,515
Here he is.
31
00:04:50,835 --> 00:04:53,550
- This is Freddy.
- How do you know it's a boy?
32
00:04:53,810 --> 00:04:56,270
Because he's my little Freddy
and that's what I wanted.
33
00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:58,255
So,
34
00:04:58,775 --> 00:05:00,585
when you're going to pick up baby,
35
00:05:00,755 --> 00:05:04,470
it is most important that you
support the head, like thus.
36
00:05:05,115 --> 00:05:07,765
And cradle him into
the crook of your arm,
37
00:05:07,965 --> 00:05:10,950
being very careful
with the top of his head,
38
00:05:11,565 --> 00:05:15,310
because this area here
is what we call soft spot.
39
00:05:15,636 --> 00:05:18,030
- The fontanelle.
- What's that, Miriam?
40
00:05:18,535 --> 00:05:19,910
Oh, my name's Kate.
41
00:05:20,245 --> 00:05:22,750
Oh, I'm sorry. I thought
you were Dr Miriam Stoppard.
42
00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:26,750
So if you'd all like to help yourself
to a dolly from the baby box.
43
00:05:27,010 --> 00:05:28,985
Dad, would you like
to hand them out?
44
00:05:29,155 --> 00:05:31,405
And then we can take it
in turns holding the baby
45
00:05:31,575 --> 00:05:34,910
and practice putting on one of these new
fangled modern nappies.
46
00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:36,720
There!
47
00:05:39,861 --> 00:05:41,310
We've run out.
48
00:05:42,415 --> 00:05:43,415
Use this one.
49
00:05:44,085 --> 00:05:45,319
Don't touch him!
50
00:05:45,615 --> 00:05:47,990
- I'm bleeding!
- And he might have brain damage.
51
00:05:48,250 --> 00:05:50,550
What did I just tell you
about supporting their head?
52
00:05:51,770 --> 00:05:55,070
Poor little mite. Come on, Freddy.
There, there.
53
00:05:55,330 --> 00:05:56,430
It's only a doll.
54
00:05:58,005 --> 00:05:59,505
Not for much longer.
55
00:06:00,055 --> 00:06:01,555
Not for much longer.
56
00:06:24,805 --> 00:06:27,085
Hello there! Do you need a hand?
57
00:06:27,695 --> 00:06:29,245
Are you trying to be funny?
58
00:06:30,565 --> 00:06:32,265
I can manage. Thank you.
59
00:06:39,295 --> 00:06:41,025
Trevor. Mr Jolly's here.
60
00:06:43,245 --> 00:06:44,565
- What?
- Jelly.
61
00:06:44,735 --> 00:06:47,350
I'm Mr Jelly!
Totally different act.
62
00:06:48,650 --> 00:06:50,655
Wanted him, didn't you? Mr Jolly.
63
00:06:50,825 --> 00:06:53,870
This is always happening to me.
Why can't people read?
64
00:06:54,171 --> 00:06:56,755
It doesn't matter. You're still a
children's entertainer, aren't you?
65
00:06:56,925 --> 00:06:58,745
No, I'm Dr Harold Shipman.
66
00:06:58,915 --> 00:07:01,830
Course I'm a fucking children's
entertainer! {\What do }You think this is a tattoo?
67
00:07:02,565 --> 00:07:04,235
{\Well, }We were hoping for a princess party.
68
00:07:04,405 --> 00:07:07,065
- Is that something...?
- I've got one act and one act only!
69
00:07:07,235 --> 00:07:09,455
Mr Jelly and his Hundred Hands.
70
00:07:09,865 --> 00:07:11,855
There's not{\ actually} 100.
There's 16{\. They're}, all in that bag.
71
00:07:12,025 --> 00:07:15,830
Kids never count{\ them}, they're all too thick.
I do balloons, magic, bubbles, stories.
72
00:07:16,540 --> 00:07:17,590
Princess stories?
73
00:07:17,890 --> 00:07:20,275
Can do, if the princess has hooks
instead of hands.
74
00:07:20,445 --> 00:07:23,225
I need a sturdy table,
pair of pliers and WD40.
75
00:07:23,395 --> 00:07:26,415
- That sounds a bit dangerous around{\ the chil}...
- I'm not spraying it on them!
76
00:07:26,585 --> 00:07:30,239
I'm spraying it on these.
You don't get that with Mr Jolly!
77
00:07:30,975 --> 00:07:31,975
Thank you.
78
00:07:35,405 --> 00:07:36,755
Where am I going?
79
00:07:38,035 --> 00:07:39,935
Shit, you made me jump, man!
80
00:07:40,450 --> 00:07:43,545
- They sent me to read to you{\ or} something.
- I'll be the judge of that.
81
00:07:43,765 --> 00:07:45,825
I know all about you, Michael Fry.
82
00:07:47,155 --> 00:07:48,405
Little tealeaf{\, aren't you?}.
83
00:07:48,575 --> 00:07:51,565
What was it, you get caught
with your fingers in the pick and mix?
84
00:07:51,735 --> 00:07:52,910
Something like that.
85
00:07:53,585 --> 00:07:55,975
So it was either this
or digging up roads, was it?
86
00:07:56,145 --> 00:07:58,285
- You're not daft, are you?
- {\Well, }I got caught, so...
87
00:07:58,455 --> 00:07:59,455
Here,
88
00:08:00,090 --> 00:08:01,030
have a plum.
89
00:08:01,934 --> 00:08:04,375
- No, you're{\ all} right, thanks.
- {\I bet }They're off now, aren't they?
90
00:08:04,545 --> 00:08:07,325
- Yeah, a little bit.
- Thought they tasted a bit sharp.
91
00:08:07,895 --> 00:08:09,665
- Bin still here, is it?
- No, it's...
92
00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:12,555
I'll do it.
93
00:08:12,725 --> 00:08:15,095
It's that blackie cleaner.
She tries to trick me.
94
00:08:15,815 --> 00:08:17,655
You can't make head nor tail of her.
95
00:08:18,785 --> 00:08:20,785
Did they tell you
what your duties are?
96
00:08:21,145 --> 00:08:24,325
They said I had to read to you,
do your paperwork.
97
00:08:25,355 --> 00:08:26,505
And the rest!
98
00:08:28,395 --> 00:08:30,145
Do you like Tony Hancock?
99
00:08:30,365 --> 00:08:32,550
- Dunno who he is{\, bruv}.
- Good. That's what I told them.
100
00:08:33,135 --> 00:08:35,755
I don't want his name
mentioned in this house again.
101
00:08:36,085 --> 00:08:38,335
Not after what he did to Sid James.
102
00:08:39,295 --> 00:08:40,070
Sit down.
103
00:08:48,625 --> 00:08:50,405
There's some letters{\ here}.
{\You }Want me to read them?
104
00:08:50,575 --> 00:08:52,295
Is there anything from NASA?
105
00:08:53,315 --> 00:08:54,950
No... NatWest?
106
00:08:55,210 --> 00:08:56,705
Damn! They won't be told!
107
00:08:56,875 --> 00:08:59,855
How many more lives must they gamble
with before they listen?
108
00:09:02,855 --> 00:09:03,905
Go on then,
109
00:09:04,331 --> 00:09:05,831
how much have I got?
110
00:09:07,115 --> 00:09:10,310
£2,576,319.
111
00:09:10,570 --> 00:09:11,920
- Pence?
- Four.
112
00:09:12,330 --> 00:09:13,330
Good.
113
00:09:14,135 --> 00:09:16,185
Lot of money, in't it, Tealeaf?
114
00:09:16,695 --> 00:09:18,990
I bet you're wondering
how I came by it.
115
00:09:19,645 --> 00:09:22,310
Let's just say I deal in certain
116
00:09:23,015 --> 00:09:24,310
commodities.
117
00:09:24,975 --> 00:09:26,924
Very valuable commodities.
118
00:09:27,855 --> 00:09:29,542
{\Are y}You{\ not going to} don't ask me what commodities?
119
00:09:29,712 --> 00:09:31,589
- What commodities?
- I'm not telling you!
120
00:09:31,855 --> 00:09:33,235
None of your business.
121
00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:35,740
Read the next one.
122
00:09:41,235 --> 00:09:45,229
- It's a Father's Day card...
- Bin it! In with the plums! Next.
123
00:09:47,470 --> 00:09:49,470
There's a funny looking one here,
124
00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:51,500
with some black stuff at the back.
125
00:09:52,175 --> 00:09:53,635
{\Looks like }Someone might have died.
126
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:55,840
Exciting! Go on then. Open it up.
127
00:09:56,010 --> 00:09:58,269
- Who is it? What does it say?
- No writing, just bumps.
128
00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:00,220
Let me see, let me see.
129
00:10:04,110 --> 00:10:05,110
What is it?
130
00:10:07,290 --> 00:10:08,290
It's them.
131
00:10:10,580 --> 00:10:13,669
And the fairy sent down some wishes
for the princess.
132
00:10:14,090 --> 00:10:15,952
There we go{\, look}!
You can catch them{\, look}.
133
00:10:16,670 --> 00:10:18,629
See if you can catch a fairy wish.
134
00:10:20,090 --> 00:10:21,970
Now then, let's have another look
135
00:10:22,140 --> 00:10:24,749
in Mr Jelly's box
of a Hundred Hands.
136
00:10:25,055 --> 00:10:26,205
It's not 100.
137
00:10:26,670 --> 00:10:27,920
{\Oh, yeah, }How many is it then?
138
00:10:28,090 --> 00:10:30,509
- 11.
- No. 16. So stop spoiling it.
139
00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:32,280
Right then!
140
00:10:32,450 --> 00:10:35,670
I've got a special hand here
for a special person!
141
00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:37,240
Hold your breaths.
142
00:10:40,175 --> 00:10:41,029
Now then,
143
00:10:42,615 --> 00:10:43,989
where's the birthday princess?
144
00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:46,109
Come on. Don't be ashamed!
145
00:10:46,415 --> 00:10:47,850
That's it, sit here.
146
00:10:48,870 --> 00:10:51,189
We're going to give you
a princess makeover.
147
00:10:51,495 --> 00:10:54,800
Get rid of that. We're gonna start
by combing your hair.
148
00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:58,429
Did you know that a princess
has to comb her hair
149
00:10:58,735 --> 00:11:02,309
50 times every night?
Yours is all knotted.
150
00:11:02,615 --> 00:11:04,840
- Does your mummy not wash your hair?
- You're hurting me.
151
00:11:05,010 --> 00:11:06,010
No, I'm not.
152
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:07,869
Stop hopping about!
153
00:11:08,175 --> 00:11:10,309
I'm gonna do your make up,
you have to keep still{\ for me}.
154
00:11:10,615 --> 00:11:14,193
I did this on one little girl
and it turned out that she was allergic,
155
00:11:14,363 --> 00:11:16,386
and her eye came up like a red egg.
156
00:11:16,890 --> 00:11:18,910
You wouldn't want that
on your birthday{\, would you}?
157
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,004
Right then.
158
00:11:22,097 --> 00:11:23,830
That's it.
Keep still!
159
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,310
All right. That's enough.
160
00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:27,440
- {\What about }And the mascara?
- Leave now, please.
161
00:11:27,610 --> 00:11:29,475
- What's the matter?
- She doesn't like it.
162
00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:32,180
So you're discriminating
against me because I'm disabled.
163
00:11:32,350 --> 00:11:35,469
That's nice, in a room full of kids.
What message are you sending to them?
164
00:11:35,775 --> 00:11:37,029
Trevor, call Mr Jolly.
165
00:11:37,335 --> 00:11:39,930
"Oh, yes, Trevor, call Mr Jolly.
Everyone loves Mr Jolly.
166
00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:42,250
"Mr Jolly will make
everything all right."
167
00:11:42,420 --> 00:11:45,789
I'll tell you about your precious
Mr Jolly. You want to know a secret{\, kids}?
168
00:11:46,095 --> 00:11:49,360
Mr Jolly was responsible...
for this!
169
00:11:49,530 --> 00:11:52,930
Red raw stump! Red raw stump!
170
00:11:58,430 --> 00:12:00,530
Get off!
You... son of a bitch!
171
00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:05,230
- I still want paying!
- Here.
172
00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:06,760
Cash in hand!
173
00:12:34,210 --> 00:12:36,060
They said it was down here.
174
00:12:37,650 --> 00:12:39,669
Could it be any
further from the stage?
175
00:12:40,839 --> 00:12:43,086
- Right, here we go. We're in here.
- All in here?
176
00:12:43,256 --> 00:12:45,530
Yeah, all seven of us.
Cheap bastards.
177
00:12:45,895 --> 00:12:47,190
No privacy for me then.
178
00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:49,250
Look how high that mirror is.
That's handy
179
00:12:49,420 --> 00:12:50,320
Bloody hell.
180
00:12:50,490 --> 00:12:52,669
{\Look, }And the costume rail.
That's a chair job!
181
00:12:53,230 --> 00:12:54,630
It stinks in here!
182
00:12:54,850 --> 00:12:56,650
It's gonna stink
even more in a minute.
183
00:12:56,820 --> 00:12:57,820
Why?
184
00:13:01,210 --> 00:13:03,625
Crack open those tins.
Let's start as we mean to go on.
185
00:13:03,795 --> 00:13:04,749
Lovely.
186
00:13:09,290 --> 00:13:11,069
Here he is,
last of the red hot lovers!
187
00:13:11,375 --> 00:13:13,469
I've got the post.
A few good luck cards.
188
00:13:13,870 --> 00:13:15,670
- Has anyone seen Debbie?
- Here we go!
189
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:17,890
She's got some post.
I'll just go and give it to her.
190
00:13:18,060 --> 00:13:19,600
Yeah, you go and give it to her!
191
00:13:19,770 --> 00:13:21,060
Yeah, both inches!
192
00:13:21,870 --> 00:13:24,844
- It's not like that!
- What's it like, then? Like this?
193
00:13:26,850 --> 00:13:28,469
Come on, guys. Leave him alone.
194
00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:33,155
"I've got some post.
Can I put it in your slot?"
195
00:13:35,300 --> 00:13:36,300
Stop it!
196
00:13:36,735 --> 00:13:37,735
Stop it!
197
00:13:38,180 --> 00:13:39,180
Stop it!
198
00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:40,635
Stop it!
199
00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:45,090
I'll just take these to Debbie.
200
00:13:45,540 --> 00:13:46,709
See you later.
201
00:13:47,300 --> 00:13:48,300
Bloody hell!
202
00:13:50,380 --> 00:13:51,380
OK, next.
203
00:13:51,550 --> 00:13:54,909
Where was the location of
204
00:13:55,215 --> 00:13:57,165
- the double event?
- Mitre Square.
205
00:13:57,335 --> 00:14:01,020
Yeah, and what was the name
of Jack's third victim?
206
00:14:01,190 --> 00:14:02,355
Elizabeth Stride.
207
00:14:02,815 --> 00:14:04,915
Correct. Also known as Long Liz.
208
00:14:05,775 --> 00:14:08,525
And what part of her face
did they never...?
209
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:09,850
Her nose.
210
00:14:10,170 --> 00:14:11,520
Very good, David.
211
00:14:12,220 --> 00:14:13,340
That's enough then.
212
00:14:13,510 --> 00:14:15,180
I wanna do John George Haigh.
213
00:14:15,350 --> 00:14:16,950
- Which was he?
- Acid bath murderer.
214
00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:18,790
Oh, no. I've got indigestion, David.
215
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:20,426
- I want it.
- No!
216
00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:21,850
We'll do it tomorrow.
217
00:14:22,020 --> 00:14:25,230
Go and get a dustpan and brush.
I've got half your back between my legs.
218
00:14:27,615 --> 00:14:29,280
What time do you have to be at work?
219
00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:32,350
Seven. Christie had seven victims.
220
00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:34,349
Yeah, we've given that over now,
David.
221
00:14:34,655 --> 00:14:37,720
I'm really proud of you, getting
this little job at the restaurant.
222
00:14:37,890 --> 00:14:39,629
What is it you do again. {\Are you a }Waiter?
223
00:14:39,935 --> 00:14:40,869
Butler.
224
00:14:42,190 --> 00:14:43,290
Sounds posh.
225
00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:45,180
Well, as long as you're happy.
226
00:14:45,770 --> 00:14:49,045
I don't know why they didn't
want you at that swimming pool.
227
00:14:49,455 --> 00:14:50,790
Kids said I was scary.
228
00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:53,140
You're not scary!
You're my little David.
229
00:14:53,380 --> 00:14:56,189
- They called me the Gruffalo.
- I know they did, little bastards.
230
00:14:57,112 --> 00:15:00,890
"His eyes are orange, his tongue{\ is} black,
{\he has}with purple prickles all over his back."
231
00:15:01,060 --> 00:15:02,229
{\Well, }You haven't anymore.
232
00:15:02,660 --> 00:15:04,730
It's white as a sheet that back now.
233
00:15:05,460 --> 00:15:08,630
So you're quite happy at work then,
David? Nothing you want to tell me?
234
00:15:09,070 --> 00:15:09,949
You sure?
235
00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:13,130
Good. Because we wouldn't want
to have to move again{\ would we?}.
236
00:15:13,300 --> 00:15:14,829
Another midnight flit.
237
00:15:15,135 --> 00:15:15,949
Pardon?
238
00:15:16,490 --> 00:15:18,589
Nothing.
Come and give your mummy a kiss.
239
00:15:25,070 --> 00:15:26,470
Right, tuck yourself in.
240
00:15:27,820 --> 00:15:29,170
Here, I'll do it.
241
00:15:45,241 --> 00:15:46,741
Right, there you go.
242
00:15:46,911 --> 00:15:49,230
I'm going to have
half-an-hour on me Bontempi.
243
00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:52,500
- Bye, love.
- Yeah, bye bye, yeah, bye, yeah, bye.
244
00:16:36,653 --> 00:16:39,389
What do you think?
We just need your approval on this.
245
00:16:45,522 --> 00:16:46,509
Thank you.
246
00:16:53,191 --> 00:16:55,554
- Which one is that?
- It's me, Robert.
247
00:16:57,458 --> 00:16:59,576
- Blusher.
- Hi, darling!
248
00:16:59,746 --> 00:17:02,354
How's your dressing room,
because mine is tiny.
249
00:17:02,579 --> 00:17:05,469
{\It's }All right, I wanted to give you these,
they were at the stage door.
250
00:17:05,736 --> 00:17:08,189
Oh, that's sweet of you, thanks.
251
00:17:09,335 --> 00:17:10,846
There's one here for you!
252
00:17:11,180 --> 00:17:12,177
Thanks.
253
00:17:12,360 --> 00:17:14,309
Also, I was wondering
what you're up to later
254
00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:17,107
because there's an Italian restaurant
nearby that looks good.
255
00:17:17,277 --> 00:17:19,078
I love Italians...
256
00:17:19,248 --> 00:17:20,507
and the food!
257
00:17:21,978 --> 00:17:23,228
Yes, so do I...
258
00:17:23,733 --> 00:17:24,696
and...
259
00:17:25,163 --> 00:17:27,109
{\I was wondering if you'd }Would you like to go out for a meal?
260
00:17:27,484 --> 00:17:28,546
{\Can we }Clear the stage.
261
00:17:28,716 --> 00:17:30,589
Yeah, sounds great. I'll tell Brian.
262
00:17:30,855 --> 00:17:32,349
{\But I think }We should keep it to the actors,
263
00:17:32,615 --> 00:17:35,200
I don't want to end up
sitting next to someone from wigs.
264
00:17:35,370 --> 00:17:37,549
No... I meant... just me and you.
265
00:17:38,210 --> 00:17:39,458
Can we clear the stage!
266
00:17:39,628 --> 00:17:41,715
- OK, yeah.
- Really?!
267
00:17:45,159 --> 00:17:46,609
Yeah, that's great.
268
00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:50,126
We'll sort it out later,
I just have to...
269
00:17:51,454 --> 00:17:52,454
What?
270
00:17:53,711 --> 00:17:55,261
... think about things.
271
00:18:00,060 --> 00:18:02,355
See you later, Debbie. Thanks!
272
00:18:17,008 --> 00:18:18,829
"Today's financial results.
273
00:18:19,351 --> 00:18:21,303
"CV: 9%.
274
00:18:22,220 --> 00:18:24,921
"7.38%...
275
00:18:27,222 --> 00:18:28,620
"gross yield."
276
00:18:31,483 --> 00:18:33,671
Then there's a graph
with{\ a load of} numbers and dates and that.
277
00:18:33,841 --> 00:18:35,691
What numbers?! What dates?!
278
00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:40,085
Just October, November,
that sort of thing.
279
00:18:40,255 --> 00:18:43,273
I've got to get going now,
I was meant to finish at 5.
280
00:18:43,443 --> 00:18:44,893
All right, Tealeaf.
281
00:18:45,286 --> 00:18:48,097
Fold the page down
you can do it tomorrow.
282
00:18:48,566 --> 00:18:50,366
Take me to the front door.
283
00:18:54,748 --> 00:18:56,948
Check that door's locked will you?
284
00:18:57,872 --> 00:18:59,720
My holy of holies.
285
00:19:06,742 --> 00:19:08,042
Yep. All locked.
286
00:19:09,152 --> 00:19:10,152
Good.
287
00:19:11,855 --> 00:19:13,309
See that picture there?
288
00:19:13,883 --> 00:19:15,333
Very valuable that.
289
00:19:15,861 --> 00:19:18,575
Your predecessor
loved that painting.
290
00:19:19,096 --> 00:19:20,631
And that vase.
291
00:19:21,048 --> 00:19:23,963
I bet Aspel'd love
to get his claws on that vase.
292
00:19:24,133 --> 00:19:26,879
Not for sale, Aspel, not for sale!
293
00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:35,778
{\Right, well,}Same time tomorrow then?
294
00:19:35,948 --> 00:19:38,563
10 o'clock sharp
tomorrow morning, Tealeaf.
295
00:19:41,632 --> 00:19:44,750
- You can get to grips with that graph.
- OK, see you tomorrow, bruv.
296
00:19:45,578 --> 00:19:47,296
Not if I see you first!
297
00:19:49,752 --> 00:19:52,017
Not if I see you first!
298
00:19:59,495 --> 00:20:00,495
Hello?
299
00:20:01,980 --> 00:20:03,511
Hiya, Brian, can I come in?
300
00:20:03,681 --> 00:20:04,987
{\Hello, Robert,}What can I do for you?
301
00:20:05,255 --> 00:20:07,381
I need to speak to you.
I'm in a bit of a pickle.
302
00:20:07,551 --> 00:20:10,375
If it's about the dressing room
situation I can't do anything about it.
303
00:20:10,545 --> 00:20:12,145
The frocks need space.
304
00:20:12,391 --> 00:20:14,667
No, it's not that, it's personal.
305
00:20:14,837 --> 00:20:18,186
You see, me and Debbie are going
out tonight on our first date.
306
00:20:18,356 --> 00:20:21,189
Congratulations! You bagged Snow White.
I bet the others are miffed.
307
00:20:21,885 --> 00:20:23,571
I'm not going to tell them. You see,
308
00:20:23,855 --> 00:20:25,450
I've got this letter in the post.
309
00:20:25,620 --> 00:20:27,158
Nice paper. Who's it from?
310
00:20:27,328 --> 00:20:28,509
That's the point,
311
00:20:28,775 --> 00:20:29,709
I've no idea.
312
00:20:31,945 --> 00:20:33,549
"I know what you did."
313
00:20:33,975 --> 00:20:35,537
What's it mean? What did you do?
314
00:20:35,707 --> 00:20:37,509
All I can think of is...
when I was young,
315
00:20:37,775 --> 00:20:39,749
I did a silly thing.
I needed the money.
316
00:20:41,609 --> 00:20:44,109
- Not dwarf porn?
- How did you know?
317
00:20:44,375 --> 00:20:46,920
I'm a woman of the world, remember!
I have instincts.
318
00:20:47,090 --> 00:20:49,170
I wonder if I've seen it.
What was it called?
319
00:20:49,340 --> 00:20:51,440
Whore White and the Seven Dicks.
320
00:20:51,907 --> 00:20:52,909
I played Stiffy.
321
00:20:53,610 --> 00:20:54,960
Not Bashful then!
322
00:20:55,130 --> 00:20:57,110
I'm scared one of the others
knows about it
323
00:20:57,280 --> 00:20:59,296
and is trying to spoil things
between me and Debbie.
324
00:20:59,466 --> 00:21:01,429
You're being paranoid.
This is nothing.
325
00:21:01,843 --> 00:21:03,509
I had death threats as Mother Goose,
326
00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:05,949
and it wasn't golden eggs
I was laying, I can tell you!
327
00:21:06,215 --> 00:21:09,175
- But if Debbie were to find out...
- She won't find out.
328
00:21:09,345 --> 00:21:11,395
Like you say, it was years ago.
329
00:21:11,855 --> 00:21:15,405
Take my advice, go out tonight
with Debbie, have a nice time
330
00:21:15,949 --> 00:21:17,749
and forget all about this.
331
00:21:18,916 --> 00:21:19,916
I will.
332
00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:24,201
- Thanks, Brian.
- Now pass me my left tit, will you?
333
00:21:36,895 --> 00:21:40,389
But who would want to poison
Lord Foppington?
334
00:21:41,218 --> 00:21:42,109
It seems
335
00:21:42,375 --> 00:21:44,669
like somebody has a grudge
336
00:21:44,935 --> 00:21:46,400
against the Foppington family
337
00:21:46,570 --> 00:21:49,566
or my name ain't Trixie Van Diamond!
338
00:21:49,736 --> 00:21:50,538
Well,
339
00:21:51,054 --> 00:21:54,670
in that case aren't we jolly lucky
to have a room
340
00:21:55,335 --> 00:21:58,411
full of renowned amateur detectives
341
00:21:58,581 --> 00:22:00,015
with us here tonight.
342
00:22:00,185 --> 00:22:04,153
So if you'd all like to gather
up your clue packs and pencils,
343
00:22:04,547 --> 00:22:07,771
we shall go and interrogate
Miss Tipsy,
344
00:22:08,136 --> 00:22:09,136
the cook.
345
00:22:11,011 --> 00:22:12,635
Oh, my Lord! What was that?
346
00:22:12,805 --> 00:22:16,019
It sounded like
it came from the kitchen!
347
00:22:23,832 --> 00:22:26,929
Colonel Bluster, come quick.
There's been another murder!
348
00:22:28,068 --> 00:22:30,549
What was that, Carruthers?
Could you repeat that?
349
00:22:30,855 --> 00:22:33,925
Colonel Bluster, come quick.
There's been another murder!
350
00:22:34,575 --> 00:22:38,469
I think he's trying to tell us
that there's been another murder.
351
00:22:40,055 --> 00:22:42,260
Quick, everyone! To the kitchen!
352
00:22:42,430 --> 00:22:44,580
And don't forget your clue packs.
353
00:22:47,104 --> 00:22:50,029
Come...
Come, look. Look at it.
354
00:22:54,547 --> 00:22:58,087
See! The murderer
has written "Fuck Pig"
355
00:22:58,679 --> 00:23:02,324
using his - or her - own excrement.
Could be a clue!
356
00:23:02,494 --> 00:23:04,490
David! What have you done?
357
00:23:04,660 --> 00:23:06,737
The victim has been disembowelled.
358
00:23:06,907 --> 00:23:09,099
See the entrails hanging down.
359
00:23:09,269 --> 00:23:10,844
Hurry up, I'm getting dizzy.
360
00:23:11,014 --> 00:23:12,014
Shut up!
361
00:23:12,231 --> 00:23:13,910
Look at this! This is semen!
362
00:23:14,414 --> 00:23:15,955
All over the floor!
363
00:23:17,132 --> 00:23:19,989
And this,
covered in the victim's blood.
364
00:23:20,295 --> 00:23:22,789
- David! Stop it now!
- But the murderer is still at large!
365
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:24,449
- Stop it!
- What did I tell you? A mistake!
366
00:23:24,942 --> 00:23:26,972
I'll deal with it, thank you, Robin.
367
00:23:27,142 --> 00:23:29,729
Can someone get me down,
me legs are numb!
368
00:23:31,048 --> 00:23:32,048
Go home.
369
00:23:32,218 --> 00:23:35,489
We gave you a chance
but it isn't working out.
370
00:23:40,055 --> 00:23:41,009
She did it.
371
00:23:41,686 --> 00:23:43,136
She's the murderer.
372
00:23:44,590 --> 00:23:47,531
Please! I... I don't have a motive...
What's my motive?
373
00:23:47,701 --> 00:23:50,129
Oh, don't, Cheryl. He's ruined it.
374
00:23:51,257 --> 00:23:53,756
Don't bother coming back!
375
00:24:03,821 --> 00:24:05,671
This is not my last murder.
376
00:24:12,128 --> 00:24:14,028
Shall we skip to the coffee?
377
00:24:16,334 --> 00:24:17,334
Now then.
378
00:24:17,870 --> 00:24:21,202
Let's get you in here.
Get those straps off.
379
00:24:21,372 --> 00:24:23,249
Make you a nice warm bockie of milk.
380
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:25,529
Are you going to be good for Mummy?
381
00:24:27,038 --> 00:24:28,388
Are you up there?
382
00:24:28,808 --> 00:24:29,609
Coming!
383
00:24:40,071 --> 00:24:42,505
I was just setting up
the teasmade for the morning.
384
00:24:42,947 --> 00:24:44,289
There you go.
385
00:24:45,759 --> 00:24:47,009
There.
What a day!
386
00:24:48,555 --> 00:24:49,689
What a day.
387
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:53,316
The morning group are all right
but the afternoon lot,
388
00:24:53,486 --> 00:24:56,257
it's like getting
blood out of a stone.
389
00:24:56,427 --> 00:24:58,227
Isn't it, my little angel?
390
00:24:58,435 --> 00:25:00,774
Isn't it,
my little Freddy Fruitcake?
391
00:25:02,258 --> 00:25:04,184
I'm gonna warm his bockie.
392
00:25:05,704 --> 00:25:08,646
I think he might have
dirtied himself, George.
393
00:25:13,805 --> 00:25:15,105
Daddy change it.
394
00:25:17,848 --> 00:25:19,670
Daddy change Freddy's nap-nap.
395
00:25:39,592 --> 00:25:41,649
I got your letter, Jolly!
396
00:25:42,508 --> 00:25:44,694
And I know what you did too!
397
00:27:00,206 --> 00:27:02,237
Congratulations, Tealeaf.
398
00:27:03,122 --> 00:27:04,809
I knew you'd be the one.
399
00:27:10,568 --> 00:27:11,948
Robert, don't!
400
00:27:42,513 --> 00:27:44,249
Jesus Christ!
401
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:46,369
What the f...?
402
00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:14,450
Sorry, Mum.
403
00:28:15,302 --> 00:28:16,752
I did a bad murder.
404
00:28:16,802 --> 00:28:21,352
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
29912
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
