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1
00:00:01,515 --> 00:00:04,183
[epic music]
2
00:00:04,186 --> 00:00:08,120
3
00:00:08,122 --> 00:00:10,922
- [indistinct]
- Whatever.
4
00:00:12,222 --> 00:00:13,889
Oh, you're watching
"Making a Supervillian?"
5
00:00:13,891 --> 00:00:14,855
I finished the whole thing last night.
6
00:00:14,857 --> 00:00:16,491
Well, do not tell me how it ends,
7
00:00:16,493 --> 00:00:17,959
but I think he's innocent.
8
00:00:17,961 --> 00:00:20,195
Seriously? His name is Dr. Psycho.
9
00:00:20,197 --> 00:00:23,565
Yeah, but his original
name was Psychowitz.
10
00:00:23,567 --> 00:00:25,567
They forced him to
change it at Ellis Island.
11
00:00:25,569 --> 00:00:28,937
The real villain is the
criminal justice system.
12
00:00:28,939 --> 00:00:29,938
Go on, girl.
13
00:00:29,940 --> 00:00:30,986
Idiots. Okay.
14
00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:33,041
He tied Wonder Woman to a rocket ship.
15
00:00:33,043 --> 00:00:35,343
Oh, the D.A. said he
tied her to a rocket ship,
16
00:00:35,345 --> 00:00:37,379
but if that's the case,
where's the rope, Teddy?
17
00:00:37,381 --> 00:00:39,748
- Where's the rope then?
- Find it. Prove it.
18
00:00:39,750 --> 00:00:41,583
Oh, I've seen this program.
19
00:00:41,585 --> 00:00:43,551
I can't believe they found him innocent.
20
00:00:43,553 --> 00:00:45,687
Dorothy!
21
00:00:45,689 --> 00:00:47,756
You bitch.
22
00:00:47,758 --> 00:00:50,759
[heroic music]
23
00:00:50,761 --> 00:00:57,699
24
00:01:07,777 --> 00:01:13,150
25
00:01:13,510 --> 00:01:17,744
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
26
00:01:19,455 --> 00:01:21,423
Well, I'm glad that you're all excited
27
00:01:21,425 --> 00:01:23,091
about the corporate retreat.
28
00:01:23,093 --> 00:01:25,268
A special shout-out
to the legal department
29
00:01:25,271 --> 00:01:28,396
who just settled the lawsuit
from last year's retreat.
30
00:01:28,398 --> 00:01:31,232
I'm looking at you, Wendy,
Ms. Black-out-and-get-naked.
31
00:01:31,234 --> 00:01:33,401
[gasps] That is not the order
32
00:01:33,403 --> 00:01:35,136
it happened in.
33
00:01:35,138 --> 00:01:36,440
No, it was not.
34
00:01:36,443 --> 00:01:39,407
I hope everyone used my
checklist of what to bring.
35
00:01:39,409 --> 00:01:41,142
I did! Oh, crap.
36
00:01:41,144 --> 00:01:42,534
I forgot my positive attitude.
37
00:01:42,537 --> 00:01:45,814
Lucky for you, I brought
plenty for everybody.
38
00:01:45,816 --> 00:01:48,016
Anyways, I made sure
the retreat will have
39
00:01:48,018 --> 00:01:49,818
all of your favorite things.
40
00:01:49,820 --> 00:01:51,086
- Parasailing.
- [squeals]
41
00:01:51,088 --> 00:01:52,620
- Rum tasting.
- [gasps]
42
00:01:52,622 --> 00:01:54,622
Sitting by the pool and judging people.
43
00:01:54,624 --> 00:01:56,825
That's when they're at
their most vulnerable.
44
00:01:56,828 --> 00:01:59,479
And a little something for everybody...
45
00:01:59,482 --> 00:02:00,862
karaoke!
46
00:02:00,864 --> 00:02:03,098
- [all groaning]
- No, no.
47
00:02:03,100 --> 00:02:04,265
Karaoke?
48
00:02:04,267 --> 00:02:06,101
More, like, kara-no-ke.
49
00:02:06,103 --> 00:02:09,104
[all laughing]
50
00:02:09,106 --> 00:02:11,506
[overlapping praise]
51
00:02:11,508 --> 00:02:13,942
Fine. At least wear
the matching t-shirts
52
00:02:13,944 --> 00:02:16,144
with personalized catchphrases
I made for everybody.
53
00:02:16,146 --> 00:02:18,146
I don't have a catchphrase.
54
00:02:18,148 --> 00:02:20,115
Oh. She's good.
55
00:02:20,117 --> 00:02:23,151
So? Let's go! Everyone on the buses!
56
00:02:23,153 --> 00:02:24,570
- [all cheering]
- both: Yeah!
57
00:02:24,573 --> 00:02:26,154
Uh, everyone except for my group.
58
00:02:26,156 --> 00:02:27,645
We have to wait for Dorothy.
59
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:29,247
- What?
- Both: No!
60
00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:31,169
Why would you put Dorothy in our group?
61
00:02:31,172 --> 00:02:32,756
Okay, you know she's not gonna
be an asset in the tug of war,
62
00:02:32,758 --> 00:02:34,029
I'll tell you that right now.
63
00:02:34,031 --> 00:02:35,730
My job is to look out for everybody.
64
00:02:35,732 --> 00:02:37,766
Oh, uh, uh... Dorothy
can ride in my chopper.
65
00:02:37,768 --> 00:02:39,367
I mean, she's so old,
66
00:02:39,369 --> 00:02:41,202
maybe I'll just drop her off in heaven.
67
00:02:41,204 --> 00:02:42,570
- [uncomfortable chuckles]
- Okay.
68
00:02:42,572 --> 00:02:45,206
- Wow.
- The V-Man is on fire.
69
00:02:45,208 --> 00:02:47,235
[imitates burning] You know,
it just came to me.
70
00:02:47,238 --> 00:02:48,094
I don't know.
71
00:02:48,097 --> 00:02:50,210
All right, but seriously,
72
00:02:50,213 --> 00:02:51,780
she can't ride in my chopper.
73
00:02:51,782 --> 00:02:54,015
74
00:02:54,017 --> 00:02:56,217
Jackie, can you come in here, please?
75
00:02:56,219 --> 00:02:59,220
[light music]
76
00:02:59,222 --> 00:03:01,389
77
00:03:01,391 --> 00:03:03,091
You wanted something?
78
00:03:03,093 --> 00:03:06,261
No...
79
00:03:06,263 --> 00:03:09,097
but an overweight man in
Ohio wants that shirt back.
80
00:03:09,099 --> 00:03:11,099
- [laughing]
- It's from Talbots.
81
00:03:11,101 --> 00:03:13,468
Hey-ah! [laughs]
82
00:03:13,470 --> 00:03:15,703
Are they feeding you
jokes via an earpiece?
83
00:03:15,705 --> 00:03:17,105
No...
84
00:03:17,107 --> 00:03:18,273
No?
85
00:03:18,275 --> 00:03:19,509
All right, fine.
86
00:03:19,512 --> 00:03:21,276
The corporate retreat
is my only opportunity
87
00:03:21,278 --> 00:03:23,278
to get face time with the big dogs.
88
00:03:23,281 --> 00:03:26,447
Gabe and Noah over here wrote
for "The Harvard Lampoon,"
89
00:03:26,450 --> 00:03:28,483
and they were executive story editors
90
00:03:28,486 --> 00:03:30,452
on "The Suite Life of Zack & Cody."
91
00:03:30,454 --> 00:03:32,887
What a great use of a Harvard education.
92
00:03:32,889 --> 00:03:35,957
We can't all go to Bad
Life Choices University.
93
00:03:35,959 --> 00:03:37,559
[laughing]
94
00:03:37,561 --> 00:03:39,094
That's right, I said...
I mean, they said it,
95
00:03:39,096 --> 00:03:41,896
but then I said it.
96
00:03:41,898 --> 00:03:44,933
[chuckles] In your face!
97
00:03:44,935 --> 00:03:47,302
98
00:03:47,304 --> 00:03:49,337
You forgot to assign homework!
99
00:03:49,339 --> 00:03:51,339
God, even in your
dreams, you're still you.
100
00:03:51,341 --> 00:03:52,722
[sighs] I know.
101
00:03:52,725 --> 00:03:54,034
I'm exhausted.
102
00:03:54,037 --> 00:03:56,277
That's why I need this retreat so bad.
103
00:03:56,279 --> 00:03:58,079
I'm just gonna get there, chill out,
104
00:03:58,081 --> 00:04:00,148
and make sure Wendy sleeps on her side.
105
00:04:00,150 --> 00:04:01,916
Why do you do so much for these people?
106
00:04:01,918 --> 00:04:03,985
- They're like children.
- No, they're not so bad.
107
00:04:03,987 --> 00:04:05,453
199, 200!
108
00:04:05,455 --> 00:04:08,223
- A new record!
- [all cheering]
109
00:04:08,225 --> 00:04:10,391
Emily, we're out of post-its!
110
00:04:10,393 --> 00:04:12,994
Okay, maybe they are
a little like children.
111
00:04:12,996 --> 00:04:15,163
All the more reason
why I need to be the one
112
00:04:15,165 --> 00:04:16,896
who keeps the train running.
113
00:04:16,899 --> 00:04:21,202
Even though Emily-bot needs
her batteries recharged.
114
00:04:21,204 --> 00:04:23,605
I'm gonna let that go
because you're tired.
115
00:04:23,607 --> 00:04:26,174
Emily, when are we leaving?
116
00:04:26,176 --> 00:04:29,811
I wanna be a-floatin' on a lazy river.
117
00:04:29,813 --> 00:04:31,179
And I have to pee,
118
00:04:31,181 --> 00:04:34,015
but I'm holding it for the lazy river.
119
00:04:34,017 --> 00:04:35,513
Lazy rivers are corny.
120
00:04:35,516 --> 00:04:38,186
I'm going to an artisanal honey
tasting hosted by Ira Glass.
121
00:04:38,188 --> 00:04:40,622
Oh, I'm your friend, and even
I wanna beat you up right now.
122
00:04:40,624 --> 00:04:42,624
- [chuckles]
- Guys, we're a team.
123
00:04:42,626 --> 00:04:44,192
We have to wait for Dorothy,
124
00:04:44,194 --> 00:04:46,427
even though she's super late.
125
00:04:46,429 --> 00:04:49,264
I don't wanna have to
give away her t-shirt.
126
00:04:49,266 --> 00:04:52,634
[laughing] She does say that a lot.
127
00:04:52,636 --> 00:04:54,802
Trust me, no one needs
to get out of this office
128
00:04:54,804 --> 00:04:56,104
more than me.
129
00:04:56,106 --> 00:04:57,639
We just have to wait a few more...
130
00:04:57,641 --> 00:04:59,040
[alarm blaring]
131
00:04:59,042 --> 00:05:01,042
Which alarm is that?
132
00:05:01,044 --> 00:05:03,478
- Zombie virus?
- Alien invasion?
133
00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:05,346
Giant spider robots
134
00:05:05,348 --> 00:05:07,515
from another dimension
where the Nazis won?
135
00:05:07,517 --> 00:05:09,317
No, that one goes,
"Ee-yoo-ee-yoo-ee-yoo."
136
00:05:09,319 --> 00:05:10,952
- [speaking German]
- Oh.
137
00:05:10,954 --> 00:05:13,288
- It's a gas attack.
- Ugh.
138
00:05:13,290 --> 00:05:14,599
Breaking News:
139
00:05:14,602 --> 00:05:16,326
Supervillain, and documentary star,
140
00:05:16,329 --> 00:05:17,748
Dr. Psycho, has just released
141
00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:20,361
an unknown toxic gas into Charm City.
142
00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:23,144
The mayor urged citizens to stay indoors
143
00:05:23,147 --> 00:05:24,947
as his limousine pulled away.
144
00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:27,535
Scientists estimate that it
will take at least 12 hours
145
00:05:27,537 --> 00:05:29,170
for the gas to disperse.
146
00:05:29,172 --> 00:05:30,440
[all groaning]
147
00:05:30,443 --> 00:05:32,173
Who'd have thought
someone named Dr. Psycho
148
00:05:32,175 --> 00:05:34,342
would be capable of something like this.
149
00:05:34,344 --> 00:05:35,343
All right, everyone.
150
00:05:35,345 --> 00:05:37,742
Doctor Psycho.
151
00:05:37,745 --> 00:05:38,993
He went to medical school.
152
00:05:38,995 --> 00:05:40,594
We should get on the bus.
153
00:05:40,596 --> 00:05:42,596
It says that if the gas
reaches critical levels,
154
00:05:42,598 --> 00:05:44,832
the whole building will go into lock...
155
00:05:44,834 --> 00:05:48,235
Emergency lockdown procedure initiated.
156
00:05:48,237 --> 00:05:49,603
- [alarm blaring]
- Stay calm.
157
00:05:49,605 --> 00:05:51,839
I'll take "unknown gas attacks"
158
00:05:51,841 --> 00:05:54,408
for 500, Alex. [laughing]
159
00:05:54,410 --> 00:05:55,409
Get...
160
00:05:55,411 --> 00:05:57,232
[whimpers]
161
00:06:01,329 --> 00:06:03,977
[light music]
162
00:06:03,980 --> 00:06:07,534
I can't believe they think
it's going to take 12 hours
163
00:06:07,537 --> 00:06:09,537
for the gas to disperse.
164
00:06:09,539 --> 00:06:11,706
That's what they said when Jackie ate
165
00:06:11,708 --> 00:06:13,741
that vending machine burrito.
166
00:06:13,743 --> 00:06:15,510
[uncomfortable laughter]
167
00:06:15,512 --> 00:06:16,911
In yo face!
168
00:06:16,913 --> 00:06:19,347
I can't believe this is happening.
169
00:06:19,349 --> 00:06:22,150
Ugh, I needed this retreat so bad.
170
00:06:22,152 --> 00:06:23,890
Well, if it makes you
feel any better, Emily,
171
00:06:23,892 --> 00:06:24,919
this is all your fault.
172
00:06:24,921 --> 00:06:26,554
If you didn't make us wait for Dorothy,
173
00:06:26,556 --> 00:06:28,073
we'd be on a bus to
Coast City right now,
174
00:06:28,075 --> 00:06:30,358
asking Wendy to stop drawing
penises on people's faces.
175
00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:32,045
Then stop falling asleep.
176
00:06:32,048 --> 00:06:33,761
Oh, my God, Dorothy.
177
00:06:33,763 --> 00:06:35,563
Hey, what if she's stuck
out there in the gas?
178
00:06:35,565 --> 00:06:36,931
Actually...
179
00:06:36,933 --> 00:06:38,733
she's already at the retreat.
180
00:06:38,735 --> 00:06:40,368
Uh.
181
00:06:40,370 --> 00:06:41,602
- Great.
- Okay, this is officially
182
00:06:41,604 --> 00:06:42,920
the worst retreat ever.
183
00:06:42,923 --> 00:06:44,939
Guys, I'm in charge.
Don't freak out, okay?
184
00:06:44,941 --> 00:06:46,174
Relax. Breathe in. [inhales]
185
00:06:46,176 --> 00:06:48,176
Breathe out. [exhales]
186
00:06:48,178 --> 00:06:50,578
Oh, my God. My chopper can't
make it because of the gas.
187
00:06:50,580 --> 00:06:52,157
We're all gonna be
stuck in here together.
188
00:06:52,159 --> 00:06:54,048
I'm freaking out!
189
00:06:54,050 --> 00:06:56,250
I can't believe this is happening.
190
00:06:56,252 --> 00:06:58,052
Okay, hold on, hold on.
191
00:06:58,054 --> 00:06:59,644
I can fix this.
192
00:06:59,647 --> 00:07:02,690
Now, there is no reason we
can't have fun and bond here.
193
00:07:02,692 --> 00:07:05,259
You know, I've got my
karaoke machine, and...
194
00:07:05,261 --> 00:07:06,410
All: No!
195
00:07:06,413 --> 00:07:08,446
So that's a maybe on the karaoke,
196
00:07:08,449 --> 00:07:11,466
but give me 20 minutes, and I
will throw something together
197
00:07:11,468 --> 00:07:12,967
you guys will love.
198
00:07:12,969 --> 00:07:15,069
I'd rather take my chances with the gas.
199
00:07:15,071 --> 00:07:17,271
I think we'd all rather you did that.
200
00:07:17,273 --> 00:07:19,382
- [laughter]
- Ho-ho-ho!
201
00:07:19,385 --> 00:07:22,687
Jackie, could you get that
microphone I just dropped?
202
00:07:22,690 --> 00:07:23,721
Whoops! [chuckles]
203
00:07:23,724 --> 00:07:25,773
You didn't get it because
you know it's not real.
204
00:07:25,776 --> 00:07:27,648
205
00:07:27,650 --> 00:07:28,916
All right.
206
00:07:28,918 --> 00:07:30,385
I didn't have a ton of time,
207
00:07:30,387 --> 00:07:31,919
and these are my backup decorations,
208
00:07:31,921 --> 00:07:33,287
so go easy on me.
209
00:07:33,289 --> 00:07:36,657
Okay, who wants a flaming volcano?
210
00:07:36,659 --> 00:07:37,672
Yep.
211
00:07:37,675 --> 00:07:39,794
I guarantee you'll lava them.
212
00:07:39,796 --> 00:07:41,596
[uncomfortable chuckles]
213
00:07:41,598 --> 00:07:44,298
If you want, I can get my
guys to punch that up for you.
214
00:07:44,300 --> 00:07:47,902
And to pass the time, I
have a bunch of fun games.
215
00:07:47,904 --> 00:07:49,937
It'll be just like we're at the retreat.
216
00:07:49,939 --> 00:07:51,539
- So there's kayaking?
- Well, no.
217
00:07:51,541 --> 00:07:52,874
- Parasailing?
- No.
218
00:07:52,876 --> 00:07:54,208
- Wakeboarding?
- No,
219
00:07:54,210 --> 00:07:55,904
and before anyone asks another one,
220
00:07:55,907 --> 00:07:57,473
we are trapped in the office,
221
00:07:57,476 --> 00:07:59,910
the limitations of which
you are very familiar.
222
00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:01,279
Mm-hmm.
223
00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:02,480
White water rafting?
224
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:03,982
Shut up, Teddy.
225
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,483
I'll tell you what we do have.
226
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:08,529
Kelly Clarkson's
greatest hits on karaoke!
227
00:08:08,532 --> 00:08:09,487
All: No!
228
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,489
Okay, back in the maybe pile.
229
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,634
- [light music]
- [laughter]
230
00:08:13,637 --> 00:08:15,927
You know, this might be
the four volcanoes talking,
231
00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:17,929
but I don't totally hate this.
232
00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:19,664
Yeah, I don't hate this either.
233
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:21,731
I do hate this, but not as
much as I thought I would.
234
00:08:21,733 --> 00:08:24,302
I'm being told this
is a bad joke area...
235
00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:26,738
anyway, I'm also not
having a hellish time.
236
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:29,107
[all laughing]
237
00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:32,944
Guys, I think we owe
somebody a big thank you.
238
00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:34,646
Awe, guys.
239
00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:36,114
To alcohol!
240
00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:39,117
- [glasses clinking]
- all: To alcohol!
241
00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:41,714
[scattered cheers]
242
00:08:41,717 --> 00:08:44,707
Well, who wants to play a game
of desert island companion?
243
00:08:44,710 --> 00:08:45,757
Mm!
244
00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:47,726
Is that where you pick someone
to go in a closet with you
245
00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:49,761
for seven minutes to suck face?
246
00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:51,529
'Cause I choose Van.
247
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,031
- Let's go.
- Uh, no.
248
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,551
No, no.
249
00:08:54,554 --> 00:08:56,754
We have no confirmation
that that is the game.
250
00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:57,832
That's not the game.
251
00:08:57,835 --> 00:09:01,039
That is not the game,
Wendy, that is not the game.
252
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,208
You pick one person
you'd wanna be paired with
253
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:05,410
if you were stranded
on a deserted island.
254
00:09:05,412 --> 00:09:06,751
It's a team building game.
255
00:09:06,754 --> 00:09:07,979
Jackie, who would you pick?
256
00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:09,345
I'd go by myself.
257
00:09:09,348 --> 00:09:12,283
Okay, let's say if you went by yourself,
258
00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:13,651
you would starve to death.
259
00:09:13,653 --> 00:09:15,186
- That's fine.
- Oh.
260
00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:17,622
I'd pick Van because he's rich, and...
261
00:09:17,624 --> 00:09:19,190
people would probably look for him.
262
00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:21,459
Also, I can tell by his brittle nails
263
00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:23,194
that he has an iron deficiency,
264
00:09:23,196 --> 00:09:24,960
so by day ten...
265
00:09:24,963 --> 00:09:27,198
I'd be able to overpower him,
266
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,200
and then I'd eat him.
267
00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:31,469
Piece by piece.
268
00:09:31,471 --> 00:09:34,672
While he was still alive so
that the meat doesn't spoil,
269
00:09:34,674 --> 00:09:37,074
and I could survive long
enough to be rescued.
270
00:09:40,927 --> 00:09:42,261
[clears throat]
271
00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:45,650
- Teddy, you're up!
- Well...
272
00:09:45,652 --> 00:09:47,652
Team building is super lame,
273
00:09:47,654 --> 00:09:49,220
but obviously, if I
had to pick somebody,
274
00:09:49,222 --> 00:09:52,223
I would pick my boy,
Ron, because he's my boy.
275
00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:53,324
Awe. [chuckles]
276
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:54,523
Ron, what about you?
277
00:09:54,526 --> 00:09:57,061
- Oh, I know, I'd pick...
- Go ahead.
278
00:09:57,063 --> 00:09:59,063
- Um...
- Go ahead.
279
00:09:59,065 --> 00:10:01,466
- Jackie.
- Awkward!
280
00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:02,867
[laughing]
281
00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:04,869
How are you not picking me?
282
00:10:04,871 --> 00:10:08,473
It's just that Jackie's
smart and practical, and plus,
283
00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:11,242
she's a mom so you know she
keeps snacks in her purse.
284
00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:12,630
Yeah, but we're best friends.
285
00:10:12,633 --> 00:10:14,312
If we were doing practical,
I would've picked Emily.
286
00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:15,747
Aww, Teddy, that...
287
00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:16,981
But I don't want to
spend time with Emily.
288
00:10:16,983 --> 00:10:19,083
I wanna hang out with my bro!
289
00:10:19,085 --> 00:10:20,919
Fine, look, if you must know,
290
00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:23,321
it's just that nothing's
ever good enough for you.
291
00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:24,656
And if you're on a desert island,
292
00:10:24,658 --> 00:10:26,057
you must remain positive.
293
00:10:26,060 --> 00:10:28,259
There's a reason why Tom
Hanks put a smiley face
294
00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:30,361
- on that volleyball.
- Oh, come on,
295
00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:32,997
at best, that volleyball
looked nonplussed.
296
00:10:32,999 --> 00:10:34,049
He was bewildered.
297
00:10:34,052 --> 00:10:35,834
Well, I wouldn't bring Teddy because
298
00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:37,902
he's too frail to catch or be food.
299
00:10:37,904 --> 00:10:39,904
Well, I would never bring you, Wendy.
300
00:10:39,906 --> 00:10:42,707
And by the way, I have been
blasting my quads lately,
301
00:10:42,709 --> 00:10:44,242
and they are a healthy
dose of lean protein.
302
00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:45,510
- Jackie, feel my thigh.
- No.
303
00:10:45,512 --> 00:10:46,972
- Feel the thigh!
- No!
304
00:10:46,975 --> 00:10:49,047
I told you, I don't want
to eat any of you idiots.
305
00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:50,495
I just want to die alone.
306
00:10:50,498 --> 00:10:53,351
Well, luckily for you, that
is definitely going to hap...
307
00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:55,386
Don't finish that sentence
if you want to live.
308
00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:56,514
Okay, guys,
309
00:10:56,517 --> 00:10:58,589
I think we're missing
the point of the game.
310
00:10:58,592 --> 00:11:00,391
You're supposed to
say something positive.
311
00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:03,027
Well, I'm positive that
Teddy couldn't spear a fish
312
00:11:03,029 --> 00:11:05,597
- to save his life.
- [glass clinks]
313
00:11:05,599 --> 00:11:07,799
The hell I can't.
314
00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:10,802
I bet you 50 bucks you
can't throw this tiki torch
315
00:11:10,804 --> 00:11:12,804
hard enough to knock
over that trash can.
316
00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:14,072
Again, not the game.
317
00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:15,373
- You're on.
- Yeah!
318
00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:17,641
Oh, I'm going in on this action.
319
00:11:17,644 --> 00:11:19,444
- [giggling]
- Oh, God.
320
00:11:19,446 --> 00:11:20,994
All right, give me some
room. Give me some room,
321
00:11:20,996 --> 00:11:23,281
- give me some room.
- All right, all right, all right.
322
00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:24,849
Here we go.
323
00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:26,651
[exhales]
324
00:11:26,653 --> 00:11:29,087
- all: Oh!
- [window cracking]
325
00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:30,655
So, that happened...
326
00:11:30,658 --> 00:11:32,356
[dramatic music]
327
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:34,092
Gas breach.
328
00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:36,094
- Oh!
- Follow me!
329
00:11:42,331 --> 00:11:46,567
- [alarm blaring]
- Gas breach.
330
00:11:46,569 --> 00:11:47,935
Gas breach.
331
00:11:47,937 --> 00:11:49,937
- [panting]
- [thuds]
332
00:11:49,939 --> 00:11:51,905
- [door squeaks]
- [bangs shut]
333
00:11:51,907 --> 00:11:53,440
Good thinking, Wendy.
334
00:11:53,442 --> 00:11:54,975
Okay, we should all get the gas masks.
335
00:11:54,977 --> 00:11:57,211
Oh, they're out there.
336
00:11:57,213 --> 00:12:00,013
What? Where?
337
00:12:00,015 --> 00:12:01,916
Why did you bring us in here, then?
338
00:12:01,919 --> 00:12:03,984
Uh, because it has everything we need.
339
00:12:03,986 --> 00:12:06,820
A particle accelerator, a
quantum field synthesizer,
340
00:12:06,822 --> 00:12:09,456
and a bucket where we
can go to the bathroom.
341
00:12:09,458 --> 00:12:11,658
But there's no food or water.
342
00:12:11,660 --> 00:12:14,027
Well, there's that karaoke
machine you love so much.
343
00:12:14,029 --> 00:12:15,662
- Oh, goody!
- Ah, it's broken.
344
00:12:15,664 --> 00:12:16,697
No, it's right...
345
00:12:16,699 --> 00:12:18,866
- Oh.
- [crashes]
346
00:12:18,868 --> 00:12:20,177
I changed my mind.
347
00:12:20,180 --> 00:12:22,035
I'm picking Teddy for
that desert island thing.
348
00:12:22,037 --> 00:12:24,037
Oh, look at that! Maybe Jackie's my boy.
349
00:12:24,039 --> 00:12:26,073
How dare you! Traitor!
350
00:12:26,075 --> 00:12:28,842
Okay, okay, we are a little stressed.
351
00:12:28,844 --> 00:12:30,511
Now, if we can get the gas masks,
352
00:12:30,513 --> 00:12:33,247
we can get supplies, and
somewhere safe, and...
353
00:12:33,249 --> 00:12:35,849
Who went in the bucket?
354
00:12:35,851 --> 00:12:37,017
You gave me four volcanoes.
355
00:12:37,019 --> 00:12:38,886
I'm only a man.
356
00:12:38,888 --> 00:12:40,087
All right.
357
00:12:40,089 --> 00:12:41,455
It's not a big deal.
358
00:12:41,457 --> 00:12:43,490
One of us will go get the hazmat suit,
359
00:12:43,492 --> 00:12:46,527
grab the gas masks, and come back.
360
00:12:46,529 --> 00:12:48,562
Where are the hazmat suits?
361
00:12:48,564 --> 00:12:50,097
Well, you planned a costume party
362
00:12:50,099 --> 00:12:51,516
the first night of the retreat,
363
00:12:51,519 --> 00:12:54,968
so Dorothy and Randy went as
Walter White and Jesse Pinkman.
364
00:12:54,970 --> 00:12:56,970
- [sighs]
- Can we focus?
365
00:12:56,972 --> 00:12:58,972
We just need someone
to hold their breath,
366
00:12:58,974 --> 00:13:00,774
and go out there, and get the masks.
367
00:13:00,776 --> 00:13:02,976
We don't know what that
gas will do to my skin,
368
00:13:02,978 --> 00:13:04,344
or my white linen suit.
369
00:13:04,346 --> 00:13:05,631
Well, I shouldn't go.
370
00:13:05,634 --> 00:13:06,904
I'm a bit of a wildcard.
371
00:13:06,907 --> 00:13:08,949
You can't trust what I'll do out there.
372
00:13:08,951 --> 00:13:10,319
Yeah, and we've already established
373
00:13:10,321 --> 00:13:12,786
that I'm totally useless in
a survival situation, so...
374
00:13:12,788 --> 00:13:13,954
Okay, well, that's fine
375
00:13:13,956 --> 00:13:15,989
because I am perfectly happy
376
00:13:15,991 --> 00:13:17,958
staying here and dying alone.
377
00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:19,560
Check, please.
378
00:13:19,562 --> 00:13:22,162
[chuckles]
379
00:13:22,164 --> 00:13:23,964
So that happened.
380
00:13:23,966 --> 00:13:25,966
Wait, I already said,
"So that happened."
381
00:13:25,968 --> 00:13:27,968
Uh, Noah's more of the joke guy...
382
00:13:27,970 --> 00:13:29,680
I write the heart moments.
383
00:13:29,683 --> 00:13:31,371
Anyway, he got stuck out in the gas.
384
00:13:31,373 --> 00:13:32,973
The joke guy's dead?
385
00:13:32,975 --> 00:13:34,841
Ah, well, well, well.
386
00:13:34,843 --> 00:13:37,010
Looks like the joke
van's running on empty.
387
00:13:37,012 --> 00:13:38,579
[laughter]
388
00:13:38,581 --> 00:13:39,980
Ruh-roh.
389
00:13:39,982 --> 00:13:40,981
Damn it.
390
00:13:40,983 --> 00:13:42,292
Ruh-roh?
391
00:13:42,295 --> 00:13:43,817
Guys...
392
00:13:43,819 --> 00:13:45,385
where's Emily?
393
00:13:45,387 --> 00:13:48,055
394
00:13:48,057 --> 00:13:49,489
I just need a helmet.
395
00:13:49,491 --> 00:13:50,490
Huh.
396
00:13:50,492 --> 00:13:53,493
[dramatic music]
397
00:13:53,495 --> 00:13:59,266
398
00:13:59,268 --> 00:14:01,702
This isn't the bathroom bucket, is it?
399
00:14:01,704 --> 00:14:04,071
No, it's another bucket.
400
00:14:04,073 --> 00:14:05,706
Good save.
401
00:14:05,708 --> 00:14:10,277
402
00:14:10,279 --> 00:14:12,053
How do I get these masks down?
403
00:14:12,056 --> 00:14:12,897
Hold on.
404
00:14:12,900 --> 00:14:15,257
Teddy's checking the manual.
405
00:14:15,260 --> 00:14:17,483
Okay, this manual is a mess.
406
00:14:17,486 --> 00:14:19,621
Who wrote this
abomination? John Grisham?
407
00:14:19,623 --> 00:14:22,324
Oh, not even John Grisham
is safe from your wrath, now?
408
00:14:22,326 --> 00:14:24,326
This is why you're not
on my desert island.
409
00:14:24,328 --> 00:14:26,128
You know what, I wouldn't
wanna be on a island with you,
410
00:14:26,130 --> 00:14:28,130
"The Pelican Brief," and
your phony positive attitude.
411
00:14:28,132 --> 00:14:31,333
Guys, can you stop bickering
for one second and focus?
412
00:14:31,335 --> 00:14:33,135
I'm running out of oxygen,
413
00:14:33,137 --> 00:14:35,203
and I'm pretty sure this
is the bathroom bucket.
414
00:14:35,205 --> 00:14:37,372
It is. Over.
415
00:14:37,374 --> 00:14:40,375
[sighs] You guys are useless.
416
00:14:40,377 --> 00:14:44,379
417
00:14:44,381 --> 00:14:47,115
[grunting]
418
00:14:47,117 --> 00:14:49,885
- I got 'em!
- [cheerful laughter]
419
00:14:49,887 --> 00:14:51,052
Yes!
420
00:14:51,054 --> 00:14:52,487
[screams]
421
00:14:52,489 --> 00:14:54,055
I'm the funny one!
422
00:14:54,057 --> 00:14:56,124
I'm only partners with that hack
423
00:14:56,126 --> 00:14:58,693
because he lets me live
in his mother's basement.
424
00:14:58,695 --> 00:15:01,863
Her sandwiches are delicious.
425
00:15:01,865 --> 00:15:02,805
Emily, Emily!
426
00:15:02,808 --> 00:15:04,415
Okay, whatever you do, don't...
427
00:15:04,418 --> 00:15:06,467
- [inhales]
- Breathe in.
428
00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:08,303
429
00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:17,792
430
00:15:17,794 --> 00:15:19,627
Emily, honey?
431
00:15:19,629 --> 00:15:21,629
Are you okay, sweetie?
432
00:15:21,631 --> 00:15:23,431
Am I okay?
433
00:15:23,433 --> 00:15:25,433
How nice of you to ask.
434
00:15:25,435 --> 00:15:27,802
Oh, she's fine, guys.
435
00:15:27,804 --> 00:15:29,804
Because in all the
time I've worked here,
436
00:15:29,806 --> 00:15:31,806
not one of you selfish bastards
437
00:15:31,808 --> 00:15:34,487
have expressed any
interest in how I feel.
438
00:15:34,490 --> 00:15:37,691
I am like the mother bird
who vomits into your mouths
439
00:15:37,693 --> 00:15:40,194
to keep you alive,
and what do I get back?
440
00:15:40,196 --> 00:15:41,970
Bitch, whining, moaning.
441
00:15:41,973 --> 00:15:44,164
When all I wanted was to
sing a little karaoke, and
442
00:15:44,166 --> 00:15:46,166
to wear cute and thoughtful
matching t-shirts!
443
00:15:46,168 --> 00:15:48,368
Well, if you're too cool to match,
444
00:15:48,370 --> 00:15:51,371
then you're too cool
for matching gas masks.
445
00:15:51,373 --> 00:15:53,006
- All: No!
- No, no, no, no!
446
00:15:53,008 --> 00:15:54,251
[glass shatters]
447
00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:57,411
I'd like to recant
my earlier assessment.
448
00:15:57,413 --> 00:16:00,414
[light music]
449
00:16:00,416 --> 00:16:05,842
450
00:16:05,845 --> 00:16:08,422
I feel like it's some kind of anger gas.
451
00:16:08,424 --> 00:16:10,224
[eerie tone]
452
00:16:10,226 --> 00:16:11,425
Hey, Van,
453
00:16:11,427 --> 00:16:13,647
I have a question for you.
454
00:16:13,650 --> 00:16:15,816
Do you wipe your own ass?
455
00:16:15,819 --> 00:16:19,821
Because I've never seen
you do anything by yourself.
456
00:16:19,823 --> 00:16:21,756
And I hope Wendy does eat you,
457
00:16:21,758 --> 00:16:23,992
because then at least
you'd serve some purpose,
458
00:16:23,994 --> 00:16:26,594
you entitled, iron-deficient,
son of a bitch.
459
00:16:26,596 --> 00:16:28,596
[whimpers]
460
00:16:28,598 --> 00:16:30,031
[clears throat] For the record,
461
00:16:30,033 --> 00:16:31,599
I do wipe myself.
462
00:16:31,601 --> 00:16:34,202
I have since I was a little over 30.
463
00:16:34,204 --> 00:16:37,238
- Oh, you showed her.
- Yes.
464
00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:38,740
Star Labs has confirmed
465
00:16:38,742 --> 00:16:41,042
the mysterious fog is truth gas.
466
00:16:41,044 --> 00:16:42,548
Well, that's not so bad.
467
00:16:42,551 --> 00:16:45,279
Exposure to the gas for more
than two hours will, however,
468
00:16:45,281 --> 00:16:47,515
cause a nervous system to shut down,
469
00:16:47,517 --> 00:16:48,883
resulting in death.
470
00:16:48,885 --> 00:16:50,398
Now, for some sports scores
471
00:16:50,401 --> 00:16:52,887
from that lying piece of crap
who will never leave his wife,
472
00:16:52,889 --> 00:16:54,522
Brock Donovan.
473
00:16:54,524 --> 00:16:56,257
You guys probably didn't hear this,
474
00:16:56,259 --> 00:16:59,494
but Emily said if she
died, I get all her stuff.
475
00:17:02,698 --> 00:17:03,931
Emily, honey?
476
00:17:03,933 --> 00:17:05,099
Okay, you gotta come in here.
477
00:17:05,101 --> 00:17:06,257
The gas is gonna kill you.
478
00:17:06,260 --> 00:17:07,869
You know what's killing me?
479
00:17:07,871 --> 00:17:10,505
That none of you ever say thank you.
480
00:17:10,507 --> 00:17:12,907
You know, you complained
about how every retreat sucks,
481
00:17:12,909 --> 00:17:14,876
so I busted my ass to find one
482
00:17:14,878 --> 00:17:17,545
with a [bleep] artisanal honey tasting.
483
00:17:17,547 --> 00:17:19,514
You know, crapping all
over other people's tastes
484
00:17:19,516 --> 00:17:21,549
does not mean you have any, Teddy.
485
00:17:21,551 --> 00:17:23,518
Your track suits make
you look like Daft Punk
486
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:24,919
without the helmet!
487
00:17:24,921 --> 00:17:26,721
- [all chuckling]
- Ho, ho, ho, ho.
488
00:17:26,723 --> 00:17:28,456
[nervous chuckle] Her mind is gone.
489
00:17:28,458 --> 00:17:29,891
I mean, she's talking nonsense.
490
00:17:29,893 --> 00:17:31,959
- Right, Jackie?
- Emily is not coming in.
491
00:17:31,961 --> 00:17:33,928
Someone's gonna have to go save her.
492
00:17:33,930 --> 00:17:35,730
Normally, that's be Emily.
493
00:17:35,732 --> 00:17:38,199
- Hmm.
- So are you gonna do it?
494
00:17:38,201 --> 00:17:40,601
I came up with the idea,
so I've done my part.
495
00:17:40,603 --> 00:17:43,137
And I also have a good reason.
496
00:17:43,139 --> 00:17:44,383
Damn it.
497
00:17:44,386 --> 00:17:46,255
You guys don't want to
be adults about this?
498
00:17:46,258 --> 00:17:48,976
Maybe duck-duck-goose, or...
499
00:17:48,978 --> 00:17:51,212
All right, okay.
500
00:17:51,214 --> 00:17:52,924
Now, if you get into any trouble,
501
00:17:52,927 --> 00:17:54,927
two tugs and we'll pull you out.
502
00:17:54,930 --> 00:17:57,418
Lure her in with this cherry Danish.
503
00:17:57,420 --> 00:18:00,421
[heroic music]
504
00:18:00,423 --> 00:18:02,056
505
00:18:02,058 --> 00:18:03,224
[exhales]
506
00:18:03,226 --> 00:18:09,230
507
00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:13,301
[over radio] I've got nothing.
508
00:18:13,303 --> 00:18:14,502
Still nothing.
509
00:18:14,504 --> 00:18:16,104
Oh, wait a minute.
510
00:18:16,106 --> 00:18:17,405
I see something.
511
00:18:17,407 --> 00:18:18,639
Oh, hello, Emily.
512
00:18:18,641 --> 00:18:20,074
Would you like a cherry Danish?
513
00:18:20,076 --> 00:18:21,509
- [screaming]
- Get him!
514
00:18:21,511 --> 00:18:23,311
- Pull me back in, Teddy!
- Go!
515
00:18:23,313 --> 00:18:24,946
- A little help, a little help...
- You got it, you got it!
516
00:18:24,948 --> 00:18:26,114
- You got this.
- A little help?
517
00:18:26,116 --> 00:18:27,415
I'd help, but...
518
00:18:27,417 --> 00:18:28,750
Pull it!
519
00:18:28,752 --> 00:18:29,973
- You've got this!
- I don't want
520
00:18:29,975 --> 00:18:31,852
- your stupid cherry Danish!
- [screams]
521
00:18:31,855 --> 00:18:33,454
[all screaming]
522
00:18:33,456 --> 00:18:37,859
523
00:18:37,861 --> 00:18:40,328
She was so mean!
524
00:18:40,330 --> 00:18:42,964
[whimpering]
525
00:18:42,966 --> 00:18:45,299
Do you think I use my
cuteness as a crutch?
526
00:18:45,301 --> 00:18:46,782
No, Ron.
527
00:18:48,771 --> 00:18:49,953
So now what?
528
00:18:49,956 --> 00:18:53,141
The bathroom bucket's gone,
and Emily's about to die.
529
00:18:53,143 --> 00:18:55,543
We need to fix one of these things.
530
00:18:55,545 --> 00:18:59,781
You know, I'm not usually one
for making speeches, but, uh...
531
00:18:59,783 --> 00:19:02,950
Do you remember what it was
like before Emily came here?
532
00:19:02,952 --> 00:19:04,786
We were all just a bunch of strangers
533
00:19:04,788 --> 00:19:06,954
working in the same office...
534
00:19:06,956 --> 00:19:08,956
but then, a funny thing happened.
535
00:19:08,958 --> 00:19:11,547
A lady named Emily arrived,
and she taught us how to love.
536
00:19:11,550 --> 00:19:12,794
She taught us how to care.
537
00:19:12,796 --> 00:19:15,797
By taking care of all of us.
538
00:19:15,799 --> 00:19:17,898
- Is he doing an accent?
- Yeah.
539
00:19:17,901 --> 00:19:22,036
But she made us a family,
and family means doing...
540
00:19:22,038 --> 00:19:24,943
even if you're doing something
you might not want to do,
541
00:19:24,946 --> 00:19:27,842
but doing it we're gonna do.
542
00:19:27,844 --> 00:19:30,044
And not just for us...
543
00:19:30,046 --> 00:19:32,046
- for Emily!
- [clapping]
544
00:19:32,048 --> 00:19:34,406
That. Was. Beautiful.
545
00:19:37,419 --> 00:19:40,855
And look at the
instrument I had to play.
546
00:19:40,857 --> 00:19:42,623
Guys, Van...
547
00:19:42,625 --> 00:19:44,859
slash, Gabe, is right.
548
00:19:44,861 --> 00:19:48,029
I think we know the
sacrifice we need to make
549
00:19:48,031 --> 00:19:51,032
to get Emily back in here.
550
00:19:51,034 --> 00:19:53,067
All: Oh, [bleep].
551
00:19:53,069 --> 00:19:54,382
[Kelly Clarkson's "Since
U Been Gone" playing]
552
00:19:54,384 --> 00:19:57,071
Here's the thing, we
started out friends
553
00:19:57,073 --> 00:20:01,075
It was cool, but it was all pretend
554
00:20:01,077 --> 00:20:06,447
Yeah, yeah, since you've been gone
555
00:20:06,449 --> 00:20:09,617
You dedicated, you took the time
556
00:20:09,619 --> 00:20:13,054
It wasn't long till
I called you mine
557
00:20:13,057 --> 00:20:17,184
And that's all you'd
ever hear me say
558
00:20:17,187 --> 00:20:20,755
But since you been gone
559
00:20:20,758 --> 00:20:24,326
I can breathe for the first time
560
00:20:24,329 --> 00:20:26,563
I'm so moving on
561
00:20:26,566 --> 00:20:28,269
Yeah, yeah
562
00:20:28,271 --> 00:20:30,037
[thuds]
563
00:20:30,039 --> 00:20:31,072
Hey, hey...
564
00:20:31,074 --> 00:20:32,399
not this time.
565
00:20:32,402 --> 00:20:34,075
[light music]
566
00:20:34,077 --> 00:20:36,077
[phone ringing]
567
00:20:36,079 --> 00:20:38,246
So you really don't remember anything?
568
00:20:38,248 --> 00:20:40,147
No, it's a complete blank.
569
00:20:40,149 --> 00:20:43,303
So, even though we never
made it to Coast City,
570
00:20:43,306 --> 00:20:45,889
you guys really think it was
the best retreat you've ever had?
571
00:20:45,892 --> 00:20:47,154
Oh, for sure.
572
00:20:47,156 --> 00:20:49,190
And it was all thanks to you, Emily.
573
00:20:49,192 --> 00:20:50,758
Thanks, Emily.
574
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:52,960
Aw, guys, come on. You
don't need to thank me.
575
00:20:52,962 --> 00:20:54,695
Sure.
576
00:20:54,697 --> 00:20:56,653
You know, we appreciate
how much you do for us,
577
00:20:56,656 --> 00:20:58,222
but, like, you don't have to.
578
00:20:58,225 --> 00:20:59,100
You're family.
579
00:20:59,102 --> 00:21:00,902
We love you no matter what.
580
00:21:00,904 --> 00:21:02,904
Plus we'd hate for you
to go all psycho on us.
581
00:21:02,906 --> 00:21:04,672
[nervous chuckling]
582
00:21:04,674 --> 00:21:07,574
I don't even know what
that would look like.
583
00:21:07,577 --> 00:21:09,110
But maybe you're right.
584
00:21:09,112 --> 00:21:11,112
I do need to be able to trust you guys,
585
00:21:11,114 --> 00:21:13,114
and that's part of being a family too.
586
00:21:13,116 --> 00:21:15,868
You know, we're thinking
about going to karaoke tonight.
587
00:21:15,871 --> 00:21:17,199
- Do you wanna...
- I'm in!
588
00:21:17,202 --> 00:21:19,379
I love karaoke.
589
00:21:19,382 --> 00:21:20,348
We figured.
590
00:21:20,351 --> 00:21:21,598
Can we sing Kelly Clarkson?
591
00:21:21,601 --> 00:21:23,357
Mm-hmm.
592
00:21:23,360 --> 00:21:29,501
593
00:21:29,551 --> 00:21:34,101
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