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1
00:00:01,568 --> 00:00:03,456
Hi, my name's Matthew...
2
00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:07,971
Let me show you how it works.
3
00:00:09,728 --> 00:00:12,063
...making the smoke alarm
go off...
4
00:00:15,072 --> 00:00:16,170
Are you gonna run?
5
00:00:17,792 --> 00:00:19,190
He'll run.
6
00:00:21,888 --> 00:00:23,918
Sorry!
7
00:00:30,144 --> 00:00:31,242
Bye!
8
00:00:36,992 --> 00:00:38,493
Okay, that's it,
9
00:00:38,527 --> 00:00:40,127
and now I'll go light
the incense stick,
10
00:00:40,128 --> 00:00:41,461
and we'll all watch.
11
00:00:43,968 --> 00:00:46,770
Dude, Matt.
What the heck is this?
12
00:00:46,805 --> 00:00:48,864
- It's my rube goldberg machine.
- It's my rube goldberg--
13
00:00:48,899 --> 00:00:51,268
look, I have a girl
in there with no parents home.
14
00:00:51,303 --> 00:00:52,384
I need the incense.
15
00:00:52,419 --> 00:00:55,320
Chase, if you step
one more... pace closer,
16
00:00:55,354 --> 00:00:57,280
I'm going to light
myself on fire.
17
00:00:57,314 --> 00:00:58,143
Relax, dude.
18
00:00:58,144 --> 00:00:59,679
Nobody's getting near--
19
00:00:59,713 --> 00:01:01,824
[Screams] [Smoke alarm beeps]
20
00:01:03,226 --> 00:01:04,736
[Dog barks]
21
00:01:07,507 --> 00:01:09,824
(Slow motion) - What the heck?
(Slow motion) - It's starting.
22
00:01:11,552 --> 00:01:13,086
[Laughs]
23
00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:26,560
[Slow motion] Aah!
24
00:01:26,752 --> 00:01:28,800
Chase, when are you coming
back in the house?
25
00:01:28,834 --> 00:01:29,767
Uh...
26
00:01:29,802 --> 00:01:31,520
I'll be in in a second.
27
00:01:31,554 --> 00:01:34,188
Wait, is that
a rube goldberg machine?
28
00:01:34,222 --> 00:01:35,823
- Who built it?
- Me...
29
00:01:38,528 --> 00:01:43,616
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
30
00:02:05,056 --> 00:02:06,688
[Woman] Soft opening, hon.
31
00:02:06,723 --> 00:02:07,936
Good job, hon.
32
00:02:07,970 --> 00:02:09,904
We're in business.
33
00:02:09,939 --> 00:02:11,539
- Hello.
- Hi.
34
00:02:11,573 --> 00:02:13,376
Thanks for coming.
This is our "B" and "B".
35
00:02:13,410 --> 00:02:15,776
Welcome to
the Quilted Tea Kettle Inn.
36
00:02:15,811 --> 00:02:16,736
- Oh my gosh.
- Very nice.
37
00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:18,271
So official.
38
00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:20,373
And this is a soft opening,
so, you know--
39
00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:21,408
It's free?
40
00:02:21,443 --> 00:02:23,077
- It is free.
- It's free.
41
00:02:23,111 --> 00:02:24,912
But you know, you just give
us your notes and--
42
00:02:24,946 --> 00:02:26,944
- Told you it was free.
- Yes, well, I didn't know.
43
00:02:26,979 --> 00:02:28,246
- Thanks for asking.
- It's just for you guys
44
00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:29,888
to let us know how we're doing,
45
00:02:29,922 --> 00:02:31,490
so we can change anything
before it gets official.
46
00:02:31,524 --> 00:02:33,728
- Well, when do we start?
- Start with signing in.
47
00:02:33,762 --> 00:02:35,029
- Okay, sorry.
- Please sign in.
48
00:02:35,064 --> 00:02:37,504
- I'll sign in here.
- All right.
49
00:02:37,538 --> 00:02:38,938
Love it already.
50
00:02:38,973 --> 00:02:40,064
Right, well, I'm going
to stop you there.
51
00:02:40,099 --> 00:02:41,399
And what you've done there
52
00:02:41,433 --> 00:02:42,528
is you've put things
in the wrong place.
53
00:02:42,562 --> 00:02:44,864
So, address.
"Love it already."
54
00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:46,752
Well, you don't live at
"love it already," do you?
55
00:02:46,786 --> 00:02:49,321
And your remarks
are "Donald."
56
00:02:49,355 --> 00:02:50,816
So what do you think
of the place? "Donald."
57
00:02:50,850 --> 00:02:52,017
Well, that makes
no sense at all.
58
00:02:52,051 --> 00:02:53,408
It's okay.
59
00:02:53,442 --> 00:02:54,709
Let me show you right
to your room.
60
00:02:54,743 --> 00:02:56,511
- Thanks so much.
- Thank you so much.
61
00:02:56,545 --> 00:02:58,688
Oh, look. Looks like you
got a good comment already.
62
00:02:59,957 --> 00:03:01,440
[Doorbell rings] Hi, guys.
63
00:03:01,475 --> 00:03:02,719
Hello, welcome.
64
00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:04,955
- Come on in.
- This is lovely.
65
00:03:04,989 --> 00:03:06,848
Thanks for letting us
practice on you guys.
66
00:03:06,883 --> 00:03:08,350
Tell me a little bit
of something
67
00:03:08,384 --> 00:03:10,852
how this bed and breakfast works.
What is that about?
68
00:03:10,887 --> 00:03:12,220
It's like you're staying at
someone's house, but it's a hotel.
69
00:03:12,254 --> 00:03:13,951
Then in the morning, you come
down, we make breakfast,
70
00:03:13,952 --> 00:03:16,654
and-- our breakfast
is 8:00 AM to 8:30 AM.
71
00:03:16,688 --> 00:03:18,527
- Well, okay.
- We can live with that.
72
00:03:18,528 --> 00:03:19,661
It's just stress-free.
73
00:03:19,695 --> 00:03:21,229
You know,
this is going to give us
74
00:03:21,264 --> 00:03:22,559
a little romantic
time together.
75
00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:24,994
So we get a chance
to rekindle the old fires
76
00:03:25,029 --> 00:03:26,464
and kick the tires, you know.
77
00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:28,499
The opening will
definitely not be soft.
78
00:03:28,534 --> 00:03:30,301
- You can believe that.
- Oh, my goodness.
79
00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:31,584
[Laughs] Ronald!
80
00:03:31,619 --> 00:03:33,120
Well, Peter will show you
to your room.
81
00:03:33,155 --> 00:03:34,922
Okay, we'll just follow you.
82
00:03:38,627 --> 00:03:40,832
[Door creaks loudly]
83
00:03:40,866 --> 00:03:44,256
They sleeping?
84
00:03:44,291 --> 00:03:47,159
Hey, you guys doing all right?
85
00:03:47,193 --> 00:03:48,544
Having a good,
comfortable sleep?
86
00:03:48,579 --> 00:03:50,146
Oh, hey.
87
00:03:50,181 --> 00:03:52,896
Uh, is there anything
I can get you guys at all?
88
00:03:52,930 --> 00:03:54,815
Oh, I stayed at
a bed and breakfast once
89
00:03:54,816 --> 00:03:56,250
in Nantucket.
90
00:03:56,285 --> 00:03:59,584
And they had towels folded
91
00:03:59,619 --> 00:04:01,219
into the shape of animals.
92
00:04:01,254 --> 00:04:02,821
You could do something
like that.
93
00:04:02,855 --> 00:04:04,448
- Make wash time fun.
- Okay, okay.
94
00:04:04,483 --> 00:04:06,551
There is no request
that we cannot handle.
95
00:04:06,585 --> 00:04:08,353
- Right?
- Right away.
96
00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:11,614
Honey, we've got
to make this good.
97
00:04:11,648 --> 00:04:12,480
They're going to be
so impressed
98
00:04:12,514 --> 00:04:13,514
they aren't gonna
wanna use these towels.
99
00:04:13,548 --> 00:04:16,217
A bunch of wet guests
coming down.
100
00:04:16,251 --> 00:04:17,552
Let me design it
in my head first.
101
00:04:17,586 --> 00:04:18,486
Okay.
102
00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:21,989
[Towels rustling]
103
00:04:22,024 --> 00:04:25,120
And just think what those
comments are going to say.
104
00:04:25,154 --> 00:04:26,321
- Let's start over again.
- Let's start over.
105
00:04:26,356 --> 00:04:27,289
I want our reviews to be good.
106
00:04:27,323 --> 00:04:29,992
I'm going to do a snail.
107
00:04:31,648 --> 00:04:32,992
Oh, listen to that.
[Bed squeaking, groaning]
108
00:04:33,026 --> 00:04:37,095
I think that's Stu
and Donald going at it.
109
00:04:37,130 --> 00:04:38,944
I think you're right.
[Loud groan]
110
00:04:38,978 --> 00:04:42,336
See you at breakfast time
bright and early.
111
00:04:42,370 --> 00:04:43,470
Oh, that was a joke.
112
00:04:43,505 --> 00:04:45,216
I was doing Dracula.
113
00:04:45,251 --> 00:04:47,118
Hon, we've got this.
114
00:04:47,153 --> 00:04:48,832
This is going to be a good
115
00:04:48,866 --> 00:04:50,133
soft opening.
116
00:04:50,167 --> 00:04:51,104
[Muffled shout]
117
00:04:55,075 --> 00:04:56,943
[Man] All right, guys.
118
00:04:56,977 --> 00:04:58,744
So, for August,
we're doing the man issue.
119
00:04:58,779 --> 00:05:02,016
- Yay.
- We want a cover story, a profile.
120
00:05:02,051 --> 00:05:04,352
I think what we should do
is we should find one man
121
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:05,920
in Portland, that is living
122
00:05:05,955 --> 00:05:08,160
his life in a way that we think
123
00:05:08,195 --> 00:05:09,595
embodies manhood.
124
00:05:09,629 --> 00:05:11,497
I will say I was at a party
the other night.
125
00:05:11,531 --> 00:05:13,856
And everyone
was talking about TV,
126
00:05:13,891 --> 00:05:15,725
and this guy's like,
"I'm not watching TV anymore.
127
00:05:15,759 --> 00:05:17,761
I actually started
making furniture."
128
00:05:17,795 --> 00:05:20,384
And here's a guy
that used to work at an office,
129
00:05:20,419 --> 00:05:23,321
and he's really
embracing masculinity.
130
00:05:23,356 --> 00:05:24,896
Yes, please.
131
00:05:24,931 --> 00:05:27,999
[Man imitating saw]
132
00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:29,334
I wanted to actually ask you
133
00:05:29,368 --> 00:05:31,136
- about your boyfriend, Caleb.
- Uh-huh.
134
00:05:31,171 --> 00:05:32,471
Is he still making furniture?
135
00:05:32,506 --> 00:05:34,473
- Yes.
- You are really lucky.
136
00:05:34,508 --> 00:05:35,584
Thank you.
137
00:05:35,619 --> 00:05:37,720
[Man imitating sanding]
138
00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:43,072
We're looking for something
to outfit him
139
00:05:43,106 --> 00:05:45,952
for a photo shoot that
they're doing later this month.
140
00:05:45,986 --> 00:05:48,087
On the front cover
of the Portland Monthly.
141
00:05:48,122 --> 00:05:50,816
Wow, congratulations.
142
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:51,984
He makes furniture.
143
00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:53,887
- Oh, cool.
- Yes.
144
00:05:53,921 --> 00:05:56,448
Somebody that builds furniture could
build your whole house for you.
145
00:05:56,482 --> 00:05:58,848
And then he could build all the
furniture to go in the house.
146
00:05:58,882 --> 00:06:01,484
He could build the crib
for the baby, and then
147
00:06:01,519 --> 00:06:04,576
he could even build our caskets for
our funerals ahead of time, you know?
148
00:06:04,610 --> 00:06:06,444
I mean,
I want the furniture guy.
149
00:06:06,478 --> 00:06:08,479
Of course he had
a girlfriend, you know.
150
00:06:08,513 --> 00:06:09,344
Of course.
151
00:06:09,378 --> 00:06:14,400
[Man imitating tools]
152
00:06:31,074 --> 00:06:33,909
That-- your shirt
would go great on it.
153
00:05:43,224 --> 00:05:45,694
That-- your shirt
would go great on it.
154
00:06:36,379 --> 00:06:39,904
It's a lavatory vanity box.
155
00:06:39,938 --> 00:06:41,905
I have to saw into that a little bit more.
It's not finished.
156
00:06:41,940 --> 00:06:45,664
I got to varnish it and get
a bigger hole to get the...
157
00:06:58,336 --> 00:07:00,544
Oh yeah
158
00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:02,212
Hey, I'm Royce!
159
00:07:05,551 --> 00:07:07,136
And milk is back!
160
00:07:07,171 --> 00:07:09,438
The newest one is cookie milk.
161
00:07:09,472 --> 00:07:10,606
It's milk made from cookies.
162
00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:12,474
Turn your nose up
at your mom and say,
163
00:07:12,509 --> 00:07:14,496
"hey, you know what?
I'm out of here,
164
00:07:14,530 --> 00:07:16,287
'cause it's
cookie milk time."
165
00:07:16,288 --> 00:07:18,944
What? Cookie milk time.
166
00:07:18,978 --> 00:07:20,945
[Gulping sounds]
167
00:07:20,980 --> 00:07:22,464
Mmm.
168
00:07:22,498 --> 00:07:23,998
- Muscles.
- So aggressive.
169
00:07:24,033 --> 00:07:25,800
And also for fine dining.
170
00:07:25,835 --> 00:07:27,869
Pour yourself some cookie milk.
171
00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:33,494
[Yawning] All right,
here's the elephant.
172
00:07:33,528 --> 00:07:34,784
[Peter]
I could do this one for...
173
00:07:34,818 --> 00:07:35,712
Let's go to sleep, hon.
174
00:07:35,746 --> 00:07:37,714
- Sleepy time.
- Hey...
175
00:07:37,748 --> 00:07:40,316
what time is it, though?
176
00:07:40,350 --> 00:07:41,856
- It's ten to 8:00.
- Wait, what?
177
00:07:41,890 --> 00:07:43,903
Oh, Peter.
We stayed up all night.
178
00:07:43,904 --> 00:07:45,638
We have to make
breakfast, Nance.
179
00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:47,474
We were supposed to have
breakfast ready.
180
00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:49,152
We got to do it.
We have to go do it.
181
00:07:49,186 --> 00:07:50,304
- God damn it.
- Fuck!
182
00:07:50,338 --> 00:07:51,972
- God fucking--
- Fuck!
183
00:07:52,006 --> 00:07:53,024
- Ah, God--
- Damn it!
184
00:07:53,058 --> 00:07:54,258
Where's the milk?
185
00:07:54,292 --> 00:07:55,680
Where's the milk?
186
00:07:55,714 --> 00:07:58,717
- What time is it?
- It's 8:00 right now.
187
00:07:58,751 --> 00:07:59,776
[Sighs]
188
00:07:59,810 --> 00:08:01,377
I don't know
what we're going to do.
189
00:08:01,412 --> 00:08:03,446
They're still waiting
on everybody to come in.
190
00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:04,914
- What time do you have?
- I don't know where they are.
191
00:08:04,949 --> 00:08:06,464
Um...
192
00:08:06,498 --> 00:08:08,672
Have you come far,
either of you?
193
00:08:08,707 --> 00:08:11,542
No, we live about five,
ten minutes from here.
194
00:08:11,576 --> 00:08:12,864
- Oh, really?
- Mm-hmm.
195
00:08:12,898 --> 00:08:15,667
- You're Portland based?
- Yes, Portland based.
196
00:08:15,701 --> 00:08:18,208
- Maybe we can go have some
breakfast at yours. - We may as well,
197
00:08:18,243 --> 00:08:19,843
because--
we're sitting right here,
198
00:08:19,877 --> 00:08:21,545
we're not going to get
anything right now.
199
00:08:21,579 --> 00:08:23,744
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow,
ow, ow, ow.
200
00:08:23,779 --> 00:08:25,680
- Get it together.
- You get it together.
201
00:08:25,714 --> 00:08:27,348
- Oh, you get it together.
- Okay, we'll both get it together.
202
00:08:31,744 --> 00:08:33,712
- Nance?
- What?
203
00:08:33,746 --> 00:08:35,080
Are they done?
204
00:08:35,114 --> 00:08:37,440
- This isn't even on.
- What? Peter!
205
00:08:39,743 --> 00:08:42,645
By the way,
are you guys brothers?
206
00:08:42,680 --> 00:08:44,280
Peter, just keep smiling.
207
00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:45,760
No matter what you do
when we go out there--
208
00:08:45,794 --> 00:08:47,392
it doesn't matter
if we go out at 9:30,
209
00:08:47,426 --> 00:08:49,761
- just keep smiling.
- Shh.
210
00:08:49,796 --> 00:08:51,330
- What?
- Goddamn it!
211
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,056
- Peter...
- We have plenty. Don't yell at me.
212
00:08:53,090 --> 00:08:55,936
You little shit!
213
00:08:55,970 --> 00:08:58,872
- All right, we did it.
- All right.
214
00:08:58,907 --> 00:08:59,840
Good, good.
215
00:08:59,874 --> 00:09:01,308
- We are hungry.
- We made you breakfast.
216
00:09:01,342 --> 00:09:03,680
- Here's the coffee.
- We are starving, too.
217
00:09:05,716 --> 00:09:07,712
It all looks good.
218
00:09:07,746 --> 00:09:10,748
- All right. Finito.
- All right.
219
00:09:10,783 --> 00:09:12,064
We might take a little nap.
220
00:09:12,098 --> 00:09:13,365
- Enjoy your breakfast.
- Yup.
221
00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:15,034
You know,
we were really interested
222
00:09:15,069 --> 00:09:16,032
in that jalopy ride.
223
00:09:18,669 --> 00:09:21,070
You know what would look
good in the brochure?
224
00:09:21,104 --> 00:09:23,840
- Jalopy rides.
- Jalopy rides, great.
225
00:09:23,875 --> 00:09:27,584
- And we definitely want to do
the couples massage. - Absolutely.
226
00:09:27,618 --> 00:09:29,696
- Oh, I know something
for the brochure. - Hmm?
227
00:09:29,730 --> 00:09:31,498
Couples massage.
228
00:09:31,532 --> 00:09:33,533
- It's fine. No one's going to get it.
- Okay.
229
00:09:33,567 --> 00:09:36,128
You guys can make that
happen for us?
230
00:09:36,162 --> 00:09:38,364
[Ominous music]
231
00:09:38,398 --> 00:09:43,135
You think you'll like
that jalopy ride-- around the city?
232
00:09:43,170 --> 00:09:45,280
You just do the jalopy ride,
and I'll do the massage.
233
00:09:45,314 --> 00:09:46,464
- Okay.
- Okay?
234
00:09:46,624 --> 00:09:48,991
- Cannot wait to drive you.
- Fantastic.
235
00:09:48,992 --> 00:09:50,226
We get to keep these, right?
236
00:09:57,024 --> 00:09:58,992
[Woman] - Enter, comrade.
[Man] - Come on in.
237
00:09:59,026 --> 00:09:59,968
Welcome, all of you,
238
00:10:00,002 --> 00:10:01,502
Rose City steampunks,
239
00:10:01,537 --> 00:10:04,272
to the 37th annual
"OreCon" convention.
240
00:10:04,306 --> 00:10:06,144
Glad we all made it,
got some new faces,
241
00:10:06,178 --> 00:10:08,613
some familiar ones.
Ramon, how are you?
242
00:10:08,648 --> 00:10:12,320
Uh, I'd like to point out also Ramon
has a zoetrope he's introducing.
243
00:10:12,354 --> 00:10:15,188
It's a little bit of animation
that goes on in his hat.
244
00:10:15,223 --> 00:10:17,536
And I think we got a really
good rate on the hotel.
245
00:10:17,570 --> 00:10:20,096
- We got a really good deal
on this room. - Oh, sorry.
246
00:10:20,130 --> 00:10:21,397
I didn't-- yes.
247
00:10:21,432 --> 00:10:23,099
So this is me speaking as me.
248
00:10:23,133 --> 00:10:25,024
But right now of course
I'm introducing myself
249
00:10:25,059 --> 00:10:26,492
as Captain DD Cumulus.
250
00:10:26,527 --> 00:10:28,416
I, of course,
am Lady Opal Night Stream.
251
00:10:28,450 --> 00:10:30,218
But you guys might remember me.
I'm Cindy.
252
00:10:30,252 --> 00:10:32,992
Just in case you guys
wanted to find me on Facebook.
253
00:10:33,027 --> 00:10:34,560
- Cindy.
- Mm-hmm.
254
00:10:34,594 --> 00:10:36,224
Lady Opal Night Stream.
[Toy gun chirps]
255
00:10:36,258 --> 00:10:38,359
Maybe we'll just hold off
on that for a little while.
256
00:10:38,393 --> 00:10:40,828
But that's great.
We've got some great little inventions.
257
00:10:40,862 --> 00:10:42,528
We fight with invention.
258
00:10:42,562 --> 00:10:44,196
We fight with ingenuity.
259
00:10:44,230 --> 00:10:45,376
[Gun chirps]
260
00:10:45,411 --> 00:10:46,911
Why are you doing that?
261
00:10:46,945 --> 00:10:50,592
Our plot today is to rescue
a damsel in distress.
262
00:10:50,626 --> 00:10:52,861
You guys remember Susan
from last year?
263
00:10:52,895 --> 00:10:56,256
So this year she decides
to attend a fan fiction critique
264
00:10:56,290 --> 00:10:57,723
with her new friends.
265
00:10:57,758 --> 00:10:59,692
We really liked
having her around,
266
00:10:59,726 --> 00:11:00,832
and she was great and she
helped with some of the...
267
00:11:00,866 --> 00:11:03,067
you know, van rentals
and stuff, so...
268
00:11:03,101 --> 00:11:04,801
we should get her back.
269
00:11:04,836 --> 00:11:07,488
Now when that wind
gets in our faces,
270
00:11:07,522 --> 00:11:09,823
those goggles come down
and they cover our eyes.
271
00:11:09,858 --> 00:11:12,576
Now this mission requires
all of your concentration and--
272
00:11:12,611 --> 00:11:14,144
will you...
273
00:11:14,179 --> 00:11:15,579
would you mind
turning that off, please?
274
00:11:15,613 --> 00:11:17,247
Just... there you go.
275
00:11:17,282 --> 00:11:19,072
Now I'm very proud
to be with all of you.
276
00:11:19,107 --> 00:11:21,608
Do you know what I mean?
Hey.
277
00:11:21,642 --> 00:11:24,478
What did I just say
about the light?
278
00:11:24,512 --> 00:11:26,048
Anyway, pinkies up.
279
00:11:26,082 --> 00:11:27,983
I expect the best from you.
280
00:11:28,017 --> 00:11:30,919
- Full steam ahead.
- Full steam ahead.
281
00:11:30,953 --> 00:11:33,889
[Toy gun chirps]
282
00:11:35,808 --> 00:11:36,832
Full steam ahead.
283
00:11:36,867 --> 00:11:38,601
All aboard.
284
00:11:43,823 --> 00:11:43,921
Ahoy.
285
00:11:43,922 --> 00:11:45,388
Oh, my God.
286
00:11:48,390 --> 00:11:49,408
Well, hello.
287
00:11:49,443 --> 00:11:51,544
I'm Captain DD Cumulus.
288
00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:54,015
Lady Opal Night Stream.
289
00:11:54,016 --> 00:11:55,884
Hi, I'm Ellen from Earth.
290
00:11:55,918 --> 00:11:58,144
We are on a mission
to rescue our comrade.
291
00:11:58,178 --> 00:12:00,046
We're taking an airship
to rescue her.
292
00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:01,080
An airship?
293
00:12:01,115 --> 00:12:02,304
The SS Isabella.
294
00:12:02,338 --> 00:12:04,064
What kind of gas mileage
do you get?
295
00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:05,865
Gas?
296
00:12:09,856 --> 00:12:11,190
[Toy gun chirps]
297
00:12:11,224 --> 00:12:13,824
Hey, Eric, I think
we're going to
298
00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:15,625
have to let you go.
299
00:12:15,659 --> 00:12:17,360
You're a brilliant inventor.
300
00:12:17,394 --> 00:12:18,752
I wish you could invent
a part of your brain
301
00:12:18,786 --> 00:12:20,720
that doesn't hit that gun
all the time.
302
00:12:20,755 --> 00:12:22,880
And listen, I'll write you
a recommendation.
303
00:12:22,914 --> 00:12:24,515
Yeah, feel free
to use me as a referral.
304
00:12:24,549 --> 00:12:26,717
Telegram her
or morse-code her or whatever.
305
00:12:26,751 --> 00:12:29,344
I will text you my number.
306
00:12:29,378 --> 00:12:31,328
[Toy gun chirps]
307
00:12:31,363 --> 00:12:32,763
That is pretty fun.
I get it.
308
00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:35,940
Let's go!
309
00:12:35,975 --> 00:12:38,310
As he felt her petticoats,
the buggy bounced
310
00:12:38,344 --> 00:12:39,744
and the horse...
311
00:12:39,778 --> 00:12:41,545
[All] Susan!
312
00:12:41,580 --> 00:12:42,746
Susan, come with us.
313
00:12:42,781 --> 00:12:43,808
Can I help you?
314
00:12:43,843 --> 00:12:47,445
Oh, um, we're here for Susan.
315
00:12:47,479 --> 00:12:48,579
Hold on, can we just--
Susan, come on.
316
00:12:48,614 --> 00:12:50,048
Susan, it's me, Cindy.
317
00:12:50,082 --> 00:12:51,616
Remember when we played
Settlers of Catan
318
00:12:51,650 --> 00:12:52,544
and you wore a bustle?
319
00:12:52,578 --> 00:12:54,078
For the SS Isabella--
320
00:12:54,113 --> 00:12:55,747
Susan, when you look
at the North Star,
321
00:12:55,781 --> 00:12:57,440
remember us, remember us.
322
00:12:57,475 --> 00:12:59,168
Remember us!
323
00:12:59,202 --> 00:13:01,871
Susan!
324
00:13:01,905 --> 00:13:05,728
Truth is stranger
than fan fiction.
325
00:13:07,104 --> 00:13:09,472
There's no release
on this massage, right?
326
00:13:09,506 --> 00:13:11,872
It's just a regular
massage, right?
327
00:13:11,907 --> 00:13:14,942
This is a...
oh, I didn't ask.
328
00:13:14,977 --> 00:13:17,792
Oh, um... hi, guys.
329
00:13:17,826 --> 00:13:20,628
- Hello.
- Here we are.
330
00:13:20,662 --> 00:13:22,528
You ready for a massage?
331
00:13:22,562 --> 00:13:24,730
- Very much so.
- Oh, yes. Can't wait.
332
00:13:24,764 --> 00:13:26,966
Do you have
any allergies to oils?
333
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,768
Is that Peter or Nance?
334
00:13:28,803 --> 00:13:29,769
It's Peter.
335
00:13:29,804 --> 00:13:30,837
Oh, sorry.
336
00:13:30,872 --> 00:13:33,274
[Car engine knocking]
337
00:13:34,496 --> 00:13:36,096
[Man] I love this tour, though.
338
00:13:36,130 --> 00:13:38,016
- Do you guys feel like
royalty back there? - I do.
339
00:13:38,050 --> 00:13:39,717
You feel like royalty?
340
00:13:41,086 --> 00:13:42,720
Uh, here we go.
341
00:13:42,754 --> 00:13:45,055
You know,
Peter, there's no music.
342
00:13:45,056 --> 00:13:46,857
Can you sing maybe, or hum?
343
00:13:46,892 --> 00:13:49,627
[Singing in foreign language]
344
00:13:53,216 --> 00:13:56,218
It's actually very nice music.
345
00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:57,344
At the wine and cheese event,
346
00:13:57,379 --> 00:14:01,549
is there going to be
pepper Jack there?
347
00:14:01,583 --> 00:14:02,816
The wine and cheese.
348
00:14:02,850 --> 00:14:03,984
Wine and cheese tasting.
349
00:14:04,018 --> 00:14:05,051
No one's going to show up.
350
00:14:05,086 --> 00:14:07,072
- Yeah, at 4:00, right?
- Yes.
351
00:14:07,106 --> 00:14:08,928
[Engine knocking]
[Cell phone ringing]
352
00:14:08,962 --> 00:14:10,596
Hello?
353
00:14:10,631 --> 00:14:11,764
- Nance.
- Hi, hon.
354
00:14:11,798 --> 00:14:13,311
We forgot about the wine.
355
00:14:13,312 --> 00:14:14,446
Of course.
356
00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:15,814
It's at 4:00.
357
00:14:15,849 --> 00:14:17,449
We're gonna just make
a fun little stop
358
00:14:17,484 --> 00:14:19,351
- and get that wine.
- Don't forget the cheese.
359
00:14:19,386 --> 00:14:20,960
Okay, okay.
360
00:14:24,256 --> 00:14:26,057
That actually feels very good.
361
00:14:26,091 --> 00:14:27,792
I can't even feel anything.
362
00:14:29,861 --> 00:14:32,768
[Engine sputters]
363
00:14:32,803 --> 00:14:33,903
[Sighs]
364
00:14:33,937 --> 00:14:35,271
- Oh, honey.
- I'm so sorry.
365
00:14:35,305 --> 00:14:36,839
You know what?
You guys just relax.
366
00:14:36,873 --> 00:14:38,176
Just relax.
367
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:39,978
Yeah, we've never been
to a soft opening before.
368
00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:41,447
Does this happen regularly?
369
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:42,548
[Woman whispering]
Should we get out
370
00:14:42,582 --> 00:14:44,415
before this car
catches on fire?
371
00:14:44,416 --> 00:14:45,884
I think it's going
to be okay. Don't worry.
372
00:14:45,918 --> 00:14:47,752
- She said it's cool.
- What is she doing?
373
00:14:47,786 --> 00:14:51,456
I think she's
trying to find a ride.
374
00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:54,239
- Mm.
- No, she didn't.
375
00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:55,273
[Horn honks] Oh, look.
376
00:14:55,308 --> 00:14:56,575
Someone's coming to help us.
377
00:14:56,576 --> 00:14:59,577
This is what I call
a good jalopy.
378
00:14:59,612 --> 00:15:01,513
So what do you think
of our soft opening, huh?
379
00:15:01,547 --> 00:15:03,808
I call it a modest triumph,
my friend.
380
00:15:03,842 --> 00:15:06,878
Peter, is it supposed to burn?
381
00:15:06,912 --> 00:15:08,179
Are you burning?
382
00:15:08,213 --> 00:15:10,080
No, I was just wondering
if it's supposed to.
383
00:15:16,064 --> 00:15:17,865
A trip to Italy.
384
00:15:17,899 --> 00:15:19,600
What?
385
00:15:19,634 --> 00:15:21,664
Me and you are going to Italy.
386
00:15:21,699 --> 00:15:22,966
When?
387
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,668
Today, tonight.
388
00:15:24,702 --> 00:15:27,070
That's crazy. Okay.
Wow, really?
389
00:15:27,104 --> 00:15:29,024
- I just thought, like, "ugh, let's just--"
- Whatever! Okay!
390
00:15:29,058 --> 00:15:31,059
Isn't this only
your third date with her?
391
00:15:31,093 --> 00:15:32,861
Yeah, we went on
a couple dates,
392
00:15:32,895 --> 00:15:34,720
- it works.
- Two dates.
393
00:15:34,755 --> 00:15:36,389
Now, this is like
a romantic move.
394
00:15:36,423 --> 00:15:38,291
I mean, are we going to keep
going on these little dates?
395
00:15:38,325 --> 00:15:40,256
Like, go up to Mount Tabor
and have a picnic.
396
00:15:40,290 --> 00:15:41,390
I want to like, take a chance.
397
00:15:41,425 --> 00:15:43,326
If you want to take a chance...
398
00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:44,694
- Don't worry.
- Okay.
399
00:15:44,728 --> 00:15:45,600
Okay, I'm going
to send you pictures.
400
00:15:45,635 --> 00:15:47,535
- Both of you, right?
- Yes.
401
00:15:47,570 --> 00:15:50,305
No, I wish someone would
invite me on a trip to Italy.
402
00:15:50,339 --> 00:15:54,400
- You got everything? You look really cute.
- Yeah, yeah.
403
00:16:04,992 --> 00:16:06,693
You should get some sleep.
404
00:16:06,727 --> 00:16:10,030
I can't sleep on planes.
405
00:16:10,064 --> 00:16:11,665
I don't want to sleep
for to long when we get in
406
00:16:11,699 --> 00:16:13,533
'cause there's like
a lot of activities and stuff.
407
00:16:13,568 --> 00:16:15,135
I'll be fine, I'll be fine.
408
00:16:15,169 --> 00:16:16,096
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
409
00:16:16,131 --> 00:16:18,065
- Italy.
- Mm.
410
00:16:21,570 --> 00:16:22,848
Uh-oh, checking passports.
411
00:16:22,883 --> 00:16:24,884
I hope you haven't done any crimes.
[Laughs]
412
00:16:24,918 --> 00:16:26,208
I did bank robbery.
413
00:16:26,243 --> 00:16:28,544
Oh, really?
414
00:16:28,578 --> 00:16:31,781
- You're such a funny guy.
- Yeah.
415
00:16:35,519 --> 00:16:38,816
So your sister,
you were saying,
416
00:16:38,851 --> 00:16:43,648
- is from Vermont, right?
- Yeah. Yeah.
417
00:16:43,683 --> 00:16:45,684
So nice.
418
00:16:49,184 --> 00:16:52,119
[Yawning] It's really pretty.
419
00:16:52,154 --> 00:16:53,454
Hmm.
420
00:16:53,489 --> 00:16:55,256
I guess this is the bathroom.
421
00:16:55,290 --> 00:16:56,524
Maybe stand on the toilet
422
00:16:56,559 --> 00:16:57,888
to go to the shower as well.
423
00:16:57,923 --> 00:17:00,358
- They should put the lamps in there.
- Right?
424
00:17:00,392 --> 00:17:02,960
I'm really tired, is that okay?
425
00:17:02,995 --> 00:17:04,896
- Sleep time.
- Okay.
426
00:17:04,930 --> 00:17:06,144
And then we'll both take a
shower-- I'm kidding. [Laughs]
427
00:17:06,178 --> 00:17:07,879
- No.
- Yeah.
428
00:17:07,914 --> 00:17:10,148
- I'm not there yet.
- No, I know.
429
00:17:10,182 --> 00:17:11,616
- Yeah.
- I was totally joking around.
430
00:17:13,536 --> 00:17:15,036
We can rent Scooters too.
431
00:17:15,071 --> 00:17:16,735
Some of-- my friend told me
you can rent Scooters.
432
00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:19,037
It's fun.
433
00:17:19,072 --> 00:17:20,192
Vespas.
434
00:17:20,227 --> 00:17:23,008
[Clock ticking]
435
00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:25,777
[Bell dings] [Shower running]
436
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:31,680
Brad?
437
00:17:31,715 --> 00:17:33,449
- Oh.
- Brad?
438
00:17:33,483 --> 00:17:34,684
Oh.
439
00:17:34,718 --> 00:17:35,885
I didn't know you were awake.
440
00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:38,454
- Are you peeing?
- Yes.
441
00:17:38,489 --> 00:17:40,523
Oh.
442
00:17:40,557 --> 00:17:41,624
I'm hungry.
443
00:17:41,658 --> 00:17:43,616
Maybe we could get some food
444
00:17:43,650 --> 00:17:45,351
or go for a walk or something.
445
00:17:45,385 --> 00:17:48,487
It's pretty late at night.
446
00:17:48,522 --> 00:17:49,589
Oh, my God.
447
00:17:49,623 --> 00:17:50,623
Is it 3:00 AM?
448
00:17:50,658 --> 00:17:52,192
Wait a minute.
449
00:17:52,226 --> 00:17:55,161
It's Sunday, right?
450
00:17:55,195 --> 00:17:57,296
When does our flight leave?
451
00:17:57,331 --> 00:17:58,765
The flight is...
452
00:17:58,799 --> 00:18:00,967
at 6:00
in the morning.
453
00:18:01,001 --> 00:18:02,502
We have to leave
like in an hour.
454
00:18:02,536 --> 00:18:03,970
Right? It's Sunday.
455
00:18:04,004 --> 00:18:06,406
- I slept through the whole day
and the whole night. - Yeah.
456
00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:07,740
Why didn't you wake me up?
457
00:18:07,774 --> 00:18:09,208
Don't be mad at me about it.
458
00:18:09,243 --> 00:18:11,177
I tried. I mean like
you were out, out, out.
459
00:18:11,211 --> 00:18:14,247
This is very badly planned.
460
00:18:14,281 --> 00:18:16,549
We have like an hour.
461
00:18:16,584 --> 00:18:17,817
Do you wanna--
should we, like, make out?
462
00:18:17,851 --> 00:18:19,518
I'm not really in the mood.
463
00:18:19,553 --> 00:18:20,753
These tickets, by the way,
464
00:18:20,787 --> 00:18:23,256
it was, like, six grand.
465
00:18:23,290 --> 00:18:24,891
What's wrong with you?
466
00:18:24,925 --> 00:18:27,393
- Hey!
- Hi, welcome back.
467
00:18:27,428 --> 00:18:28,561
Wow.
468
00:18:28,595 --> 00:18:31,330
- Wow.
- What are you looking at?
469
00:18:31,365 --> 00:18:32,965
Oh, my gosh.
Your photo album.
470
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,401
Oh, I should take those down.
471
00:18:35,435 --> 00:18:36,369
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
472
00:18:36,403 --> 00:18:38,437
Everyone on the internet,
473
00:18:38,472 --> 00:18:40,339
they're not having as great
a time as you think they are.
474
00:18:40,374 --> 00:18:43,776
I guess people are just
cropping out all the sadness.
475
00:18:43,811 --> 00:18:47,136
All right, I'm gonna go scream
into my pillow for a little while.
476
00:18:50,025 --> 00:18:51,158
How's the wine and cheese
party going?
477
00:18:51,193 --> 00:18:53,294
You didn't get wine.
478
00:18:53,329 --> 00:18:54,229
No.
479
00:18:54,263 --> 00:18:56,364
- Cheese?
- No.
480
00:18:56,399 --> 00:18:58,367
Because of that situation
with the breakfast,
481
00:18:58,401 --> 00:19:00,870
I'm not actually expecting
any wine or any cheese.
482
00:19:00,904 --> 00:19:02,371
The thing is
I don't drink wine,
483
00:19:02,405 --> 00:19:03,739
I'm allergic to cheese, so...
484
00:19:03,773 --> 00:19:05,941
I came in the hope
that there wouldn't be.
485
00:19:05,976 --> 00:19:07,276
[Peter] Where's the wine?
486
00:19:07,310 --> 00:19:09,078
I couldn't get it.
The jalopy broke down.
487
00:19:09,113 --> 00:19:11,013
Oh, it broke down?
Are you okay?
488
00:19:11,048 --> 00:19:14,217
I'm fine, but it's not going to
happen, the wine and cheese.
489
00:19:14,251 --> 00:19:16,452
They're going to give us
the worst comments.
490
00:19:16,486 --> 00:19:19,021
It's just-- we're not
cut out for this, Peter.
491
00:19:19,055 --> 00:19:21,323
"Horrible" has two Rs?
492
00:19:21,358 --> 00:19:23,092
Two Rs, yeah.
493
00:19:23,126 --> 00:19:25,027
Horr-- horr...
494
00:19:25,061 --> 00:19:26,862
Yeah, you know,
we had a good run.
495
00:19:26,896 --> 00:19:30,399
And we did our best,
and look, we learned a lot.
496
00:19:30,434 --> 00:19:33,069
- Let's tell them, let's apologize.
- Yeah.
497
00:19:33,103 --> 00:19:35,137
Okay?
We'll just fess up.
498
00:19:35,172 --> 00:19:37,139
Nance and I
just want to formally
499
00:19:37,174 --> 00:19:38,240
apologize to you.
500
00:19:38,275 --> 00:19:39,542
We're really very sorry.
501
00:19:39,576 --> 00:19:41,544
We're going to shut down
the business.
502
00:19:41,578 --> 00:19:43,145
We obviously
don't know how to run it.
503
00:19:43,180 --> 00:19:45,581
We just-- we feel like
we're just not cut out for this.
504
00:19:49,319 --> 00:19:51,186
It really hasn't been
that much of a disaster.
505
00:19:51,221 --> 00:19:53,188
We had a great time
on the ride.
506
00:19:53,223 --> 00:19:54,423
On the jalopy ride
and everything.
507
00:19:54,457 --> 00:19:56,892
- Really? Wow.
- The night was fantastic.
508
00:19:56,926 --> 00:19:59,862
This is a whole new
approach, and I love it.
509
00:19:59,896 --> 00:20:01,830
- Are you just being nice?
- No.
510
00:20:01,864 --> 00:20:03,165
- No, no.
- Can I say something?
511
00:20:03,199 --> 00:20:07,802
- Yes.
- I had a horrible...
512
00:20:07,836 --> 00:20:10,238
ba-- back.
513
00:20:10,272 --> 00:20:12,273
And then the message--
514
00:20:12,307 --> 00:20:13,441
Massage.
515
00:20:13,475 --> 00:20:15,910
- Massage.
- "Changed my back,
516
00:20:15,944 --> 00:20:18,479
and made it
a better back."
517
00:20:18,513 --> 00:20:19,446
I'm just going
to fix everybody.
518
00:20:19,481 --> 00:20:20,814
Wish I could fix myself.
519
00:20:20,848 --> 00:20:22,349
"I'm fixed. I'm fixed."
520
00:20:22,384 --> 00:20:25,118
That's... it's unbelievable.
521
00:20:25,153 --> 00:20:28,055
And the vomiting that
followed the breakfast was...
522
00:20:28,089 --> 00:20:29,056
a part of it.
523
00:20:29,090 --> 00:20:30,791
It was a sort of cleansing.
524
00:20:30,825 --> 00:20:32,493
We didn't have
enough coffee for you.
525
00:20:32,527 --> 00:20:34,929
- I just feel like we really let
you guys down. - What is coffee?
526
00:20:34,963 --> 00:20:37,197
I don't want some
black drink-- no offense.
527
00:20:37,232 --> 00:20:39,032
None taken.
528
00:20:39,067 --> 00:20:43,236
[Stammering]
529
00:20:43,270 --> 00:20:44,637
What about the wine?
530
00:20:44,672 --> 00:20:48,007
I think you offer
something unique.
531
00:20:48,041 --> 00:20:50,409
- You guys did a fantastic job.
- Yes, you did.
532
00:20:50,444 --> 00:20:51,978
We did it.
533
00:20:52,012 --> 00:20:54,280
We just lost sight
of what a "B" and "B" is.
534
00:20:54,315 --> 00:20:55,314
It's not about perfection.
535
00:20:55,349 --> 00:20:56,849
No, all the little disasters,
536
00:20:56,884 --> 00:20:57,984
it was part of the charm.
537
00:20:58,018 --> 00:20:59,319
Even when we were
down in the dumps
538
00:20:59,353 --> 00:21:00,787
in the kitchen,
I never stopped loving you.
539
00:21:00,821 --> 00:21:02,388
It's those green eyes, Peter.
540
00:21:02,423 --> 00:21:04,557
I wish I could see them.
541
00:21:06,460 --> 00:21:07,927
- I love you.
- I love you.
542
00:21:07,961 --> 00:21:10,329
[Both] Mm.
543
00:21:10,364 --> 00:21:11,898
Well, I think we
should raise a glass.
544
00:21:11,932 --> 00:21:15,801
[All chattering]
545
00:21:15,836 --> 00:21:17,102
To our host and hostess.
546
00:21:17,137 --> 00:21:19,805
[Slide whistle blows]
547
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:22,008
[Liquid pours, glass breaks]
548
00:21:22,042 --> 00:21:23,309
Nance.
549
00:21:23,343 --> 00:21:28,447
[Woman singing in Italian]
550
00:21:28,482 --> 00:21:29,882
What kind of furniture
do you make?
551
00:21:29,917 --> 00:21:31,251
Tell her about it a little bit.
552
00:21:31,285 --> 00:21:33,753
Uh, just sitters,
basic bench chairs.
553
00:21:33,787 --> 00:21:35,388
- Uh-huh.
- Front chairs and down chairs.
554
00:21:35,422 --> 00:21:36,789
Up chairs, mid chairs.
555
00:21:36,823 --> 00:21:38,357
- Cool.
- Uh, I got a circular.
556
00:21:38,392 --> 00:21:40,226
Those are real tough
to do, 'cause the trick
557
00:21:40,260 --> 00:21:41,761
is you gotta--
558
00:21:41,796 --> 00:21:43,863
but, uh, a couple
circular sitters.
559
00:21:43,898 --> 00:21:45,465
- Yeah.
- Rounders.
560
00:21:45,500 --> 00:21:48,402
- Wow. - Have you ever been with
a guy who makes furniture?
561
00:21:48,437 --> 00:21:50,905
- No.
- It's really fun.
562
00:21:51,593 --> 00:21:55,084
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
563
00:21:55,134 --> 00:21:59,684
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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