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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,440 Checking the road's clear and what's next? 2 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:05,520 Is it a signal? Signal. Good lad. 3 00:00:05,560 --> 00:00:07,800 And into our manoeuvre. 4 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:10,720 Nice and slow. 5 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:14,080 But not that slow. Hurry up, will ya? 6 00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:16,040 Sorry, I'm a learner. 7 00:00:16,080 --> 00:00:18,760 Easing her round to the left. Can we swop over? 8 00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:22,360 We'll have none of that. You must learn the U-turn at some point. 9 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:24,760 We're keeping calm, feeling confident. 10 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:27,200 Oi, drive, you dickhead! 11 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:29,520 Ignoring that, if you can. I'm not sure I can. 12 00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:33,120 Come on, kiddo. I'm telling you you can do this. 13 00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:38,160 Which means one of two things, either you can or I'm a liar. 14 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:39,960 And am I a liar? No. 15 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,520 No, I'm not. I'm the best in the bizzle. 16 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:45,320 So, easing around. OK, yeah. I'm doing it. 17 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:47,600 I'm doing it. Sort it out, you goon! 18 00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:51,560 No, I can't do it. I'm sorry. Swapping over, then. Out you pop. 19 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:54,640 Watching out for any pedestrians. 20 00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:57,400 Ow! Sorry! Sorry. 21 00:00:57,840 --> 00:00:59,960 Really sorry. I'm a learner. 22 00:01:00,127 --> 00:01:15,872 23 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:21,040 Albus reckons, at this rate, I can be in the arena in three months. 24 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:24,120 Are you that bad? It's only across town. 25 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:26,120 No, as a charioteer, obviously. 26 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:28,640 Marcus, quick question. What? 27 00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:30,880 Will you be my best man? 28 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:34,160 Sorry? Will you be my best man? 29 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:36,360 Didn't know you were marrying. I am. 30 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:39,200 Didn't know you had a girlfriend. I have. I am. 31 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:41,240 Will you be my best man? 32 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:43,640 Who is she? Her name's Drusilla. 33 00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:45,920 And why is she marrying you? Cos I'm amazing. 34 00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:49,280 Yeah, but seriously, why? Cos I've known her for ages. 35 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:52,320 Then why have we never met her? She doesn't go out much. 36 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:56,160 You keep her locked in a box? No, because she has brittle bones. 37 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:59,440 Brittle bones. Of course! Did you go over your brittle boner? 38 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:01,360 No. So that's what you have in common? 39 00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:03,640 How brittle is your boner? It's not. 40 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:05,640 Did I snap it off? Like a little icicle. 41 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:09,040 My boner can break a man's arm. Gosh. 42 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:12,600 Only in self-defence, I hope. Absolutely. 43 00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:15,840 He's getting married. Oh, how charmingly naive. 44 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:19,760 Thanks. Marcus will be my best man. I haven't agreed to it yet. 45 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:23,480 Oh, why not? Yeah, why not? 46 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:28,200 Um... Because - You think he's an insufferable prick 47 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:32,040 and you want nothing to do with it? No, I don't think that. 48 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:34,240 We're good mates, aren't we? Big time. 49 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:37,440 Please do it, mate. You're my best man. 50 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:42,400 Oh, look how desperate he is. It's making me nauseous. 51 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:46,280 Y-eee-s? Yes! 52 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,440 Yes! Get him there! 53 00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:51,280 Yes... Sorry. Yes. 54 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,480 Salve, Grumio. All right, landlord? 55 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:14,160 Stroking the chickens again? Yeah, it's making me well hungry. 56 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:16,680 Understandably. What were all that about? 57 00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:19,640 Oh, we're dealing in seeds. Selling them. 58 00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:22,920 It's all perfectly legit. Seeds? What for? 59 00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:24,760 Well, for food. 60 00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:27,200 It's no wonder he's so bloody skinny. 61 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:30,080 They're more of a delicacy than a slap-up meal. 62 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:33,880 Who'd want that? Well, these... chefs. 63 00:03:33,920 --> 00:03:36,920 Oh, he's a chef, is he? That he is. 64 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:41,680 Davus, see to the chef, would you? Oh, chefs. Yeah, right. 65 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:44,920 Yeah, it's a real foodie favourite. A bit gourmet. 66 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:47,400 Dead tasty, then, is it? Oh, it's very moreish. 67 00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:50,880 It's his third lot this week. I'll give you a sample. 68 00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:53,920 First lot's for free, then I'll rinse ya. 69 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:57,080 Enjoy. 70 00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:59,640 Gourmet. Well, la-di-da. 71 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:05,080 Got to plan the stag, write a bloody speech. 72 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:07,840 What can I say? I've only ever seen him pour water. 73 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:10,720 Maybe say how little he spills it. 74 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:15,000 Is that Cynthia? Cynthia! 75 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:19,120 Hey. Cynthia? 76 00:04:19,840 --> 00:04:21,840 Cynthia? 77 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:25,200 Oh, hi. Didn't see you there. OK. Think you did, but - 78 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:29,360 What's with the cat suit? Just promoting a piece of theatre 79 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:32,720 where I play the part of a talking cat who serves drinks. 80 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:37,040 So you're a waitress? Yep. It's a bit embarrassing. 81 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:41,200 Ah, waitressing's all right. In my heart, I'm still an actress. 82 00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:44,880 "Kitten Club Casino and Bar Caturday Miaowdness." 83 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:47,400 Saturday madness. A bit ambitious. 84 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:53,000 "Half-price drinks to get you feline good." Hey, purrfect. 85 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:56,960 No. No way. Bringing pissed-up pricks to Cynthia's workplace 86 00:04:57,000 --> 00:05:00,520 will not reflect well on me. She was looking for punters. 87 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:03,240 Last time, Aurelius stuck his tongue down her throat. 88 00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:06,800 We're not taking the stag do there. No way. 89 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,400 Mmm. This is... weird. 90 00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:13,640 It is, actually. Why is it weird? As you always slag off me food, 91 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:17,440 I've added gourmet seeds landlord's been flogging to the chefs. 92 00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:21,800 Chefs? What chefs? Them pale, skinny blokes outside. 93 00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:26,040 What, the drug addicts? Have you spiked our dinner with drugs? 94 00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:29,360 Oh, he said they were chefs. Sorry. 95 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:31,800 Don't be. It's awesome. No, spit it out. 96 00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:35,160 But I want to eat the drugs. On a Thursday? At home? 97 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:38,640 You wanna take loads of drugs? It'll screw up your driving. 98 00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:40,800 And shrivel your penis. 99 00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:45,400 Yeah, it was inevitable. 100 00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:49,360 After 15 years of marriage, she now finds me physically repulsive. 101 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:51,680 Just creeping out. So, what about the kids? 102 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:53,760 Oh, they're troopers, they really are. 103 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:57,040 Minding the kerb. They're putting a brave face on it. 104 00:05:57,080 --> 00:06:01,760 Obviously, at some point they'll crack. "Give us back our daddy!" 105 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:04,520 They're not saying it yet, but... Stuck in the gutter. 106 00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:06,960 Don't worry. This is the biggest bitch of all. 107 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:11,480 I'll take the reins. Just easing around. 108 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:13,720 Easing around there. See? Easing around. 109 00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:16,040 Yeah! On the plus side, 110 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:19,560 I'm psyched about being single. I'm like a kid in a sweet shop, me. 111 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:22,720 You're single, right? Always. Can I have the reins now? 112 00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:26,440 Me and you should hit the town. If you reckon you can keep up. 113 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:30,560 Oh, don't you worry about me, kiddo. 114 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:33,280 You're looking at a man who whilst on holiday in Crete 115 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:36,200 had sex with identical triplets. Minding your speed. 116 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:40,400 It's hard. I kept forgetting which one I was working on. 117 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:42,960 Oh, watching out for the pedestrian. 118 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,600 Nevertheless, I brought all three to climax 119 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:49,080 and then I made them a casserole. So, ooh, hang on, yeah. 120 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:52,600 Reckon I could keep up. Now, on your trot. 121 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:56,200 Staying in your lane. Yeah? 122 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:59,400 I want cocktails, costumes, fun. 123 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:01,800 I want the whole night to just scream Aurelius. 124 00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:04,920 Yeah, I'm ready to do that now. Want a club full of hotties. 125 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:07,120 Yeah, you said that. All dancing with me. 126 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,200 Harder to arrange, but OK. Marcus, mate, 127 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:11,560 this has to be the night to end all nights. 128 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:13,880 So, my bitches, how's the stag coming on? 129 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:17,080 My best man's being a bit negative. I'm just worried about cost, 130 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:19,320 given the small guest list. Who's coming? 131 00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:23,040 People have been tricky to pin down. All his closest friends 132 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:26,800 are serving overseas in the army. That's true. They are. They are. 133 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:30,200 It's basically us three, paying for everything. Really? 134 00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:33,160 No, I'm not paying. I'm the stag. The stag doesn't pay. 135 00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:36,760 Of course not. Maybe ask the other guys from work. 136 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:39,960 From the main office. They love me. They'll be well up for it. 137 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:42,160 And bring your slave, Goonio. 138 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,720 I know him quite well. Sort of. His name's Grumio. 139 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:48,280 And he doesn't have any money. So... He's good value, though. 140 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:54,200 What are you doing? 141 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:56,920 Is that a trick question? 142 00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:01,680 Hello there. All right? 143 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:03,880 Hang onto my seeds. Are they drugs? 144 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:06,680 They are, yes. Keep the safe, OK? Where? 145 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:09,000 Up the arsehole's quite good. In me pocket. 146 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:11,640 Pocket's good too. 147 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:16,600 Follow me! 148 00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:21,360 Open the door, now. 149 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:24,320 So, gentlemen. Entrez. 150 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:34,560 OK, go ahead. Male members of staff 151 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:38,960 are invited to a stag do to celebrate the marriage of Aurelius. 152 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:43,040 Now, Aurelius... Brackets, the one with the jug. 153 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:45,360 And the weird beard. Got him. 154 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:50,840 Uh, bring lots of cash and get ready for the night to end all nights. 155 00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:53,200 Ooh, gosh. Hey, you should come. 156 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:57,200 Well, I have my mother staying. But I could leave her for an hour. 157 00:08:57,240 --> 00:09:00,240 What's planned? Still locking that down. 158 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:03,680 Because, recently, for my maiden aunt's 65th birthday, 159 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:07,960 the whole family did a ghost tour around the historic parts of Rome. 160 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:12,320 It was both terrifically entertaining and informative. 161 00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:15,440 Ye-ah. This is more of a megalash nightclub crawl. 162 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:17,480 But thanks anyway. 163 00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:25,600 Yep, so she got the house, the witch, but I got my freedom. 164 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:28,640 Both hands on the reins. And I'm loving it. 165 00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:30,960 I'm sleeping under the stars. On the streets? 166 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:34,040 No, in my chariot. Which is on the street. 167 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:37,520 But, no, it's great. When I was married, I was never allowed out. 168 00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:38,880 Now... You're out. 169 00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:42,000 Exactly. And you get used to washing in the river. 170 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:43,880 Checking your blind spot. 171 00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:46,720 And hanging out with young guys like you is a real tonic. 172 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:50,680 So, all in all, I'm having a whale of a time. 173 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:57,040 I'm going on a stag do tomorrow. You can probably come. 174 00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:58,920 I love a stag. I'll have to check. 175 00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:02,680 No, no. I'm very good on a stag. You won't regret bringing me along. 176 00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:04,880 So you're up for it? I'm up for everything. 177 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:08,280 You name it, I'll down it, snort it, fuck it. Staying in your lane. 178 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:12,440 - It won't be anything too fancy. - Hey, staggy, staggy. 179 00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:17,040 Yeah, sort of. Come on. Staggy, staggy. 180 00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:20,800 - Minding the kerb. - Staggy, staggy, staggy. 181 00:10:30,194 --> 00:10:33,434 Is this it, then? No, the guys of work should come. 182 00:10:33,474 --> 00:10:35,634 Who's the middle-aged man with the bag? 183 00:10:35,674 --> 00:10:39,554 Balbus, my driving instructor. Driving instructor by day, 184 00:10:39,594 --> 00:10:43,434 lash instructor by night and the best in the bizzle at both. 185 00:10:43,474 --> 00:10:45,674 Everyone put one of those on. 186 00:10:45,714 --> 00:10:48,954 What are they? They're little dicks. Dicklets. 187 00:10:48,994 --> 00:10:51,674 Everyone tie one on. Um... Why? 188 00:10:51,714 --> 00:10:54,354 Because we're the Dickhead Brigade. 189 00:10:55,194 --> 00:10:57,314 Which one's the groom? I am. 190 00:10:57,354 --> 00:11:01,194 Stick it in your ear. Dick in your ear, dick in your ear. 191 00:11:02,114 --> 00:11:05,674 This guy's great. Is this guy great? I'm not sure. 192 00:11:05,714 --> 00:11:10,234 Your missus out on a hen, is she? Got a face full of cock? 193 00:11:10,274 --> 00:11:12,994 She's with her nurse. She's got brittle bones. 194 00:11:13,034 --> 00:11:16,954 Too much shagging? No, it's a congenital condition. 195 00:11:16,994 --> 00:11:20,114 Can she even have sex? Yeah, I mean... What? 196 00:11:20,154 --> 00:11:22,234 Probably, yeah. You've not done it yet? 197 00:11:22,274 --> 00:11:25,594 She's always with the nurse. Most marriages end up without sex. 198 00:11:25,634 --> 00:11:28,314 Yours will start that way too. 199 00:11:28,834 --> 00:11:33,234 Sorry I'm late. Good evening all. Oh, lovely outfit. 200 00:11:33,274 --> 00:11:35,594 Are there no other office guys? Sadly not. 201 00:11:35,634 --> 00:11:39,314 There were several redundancies this week, so no-one's in the mood. 202 00:11:39,354 --> 00:11:41,274 Fucking geeks. 20 into the kitty. 203 00:11:41,314 --> 00:11:44,354 I'm very much ready to eat, drink and be a bit ribald. 204 00:11:44,394 --> 00:11:46,114 Yeah. Especially eat. 205 00:11:46,154 --> 00:11:48,954 Chuffing starving over 'ere. No, we're not eating. 206 00:11:48,994 --> 00:11:51,754 Course not. Eating's cheating. And expensive. 207 00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:54,034 If we're low on cash, we can go to Cynthia's. 208 00:11:54,074 --> 00:11:57,554 Shut up. We're not going there. We just need to be a bit frugal. 209 00:11:57,594 --> 00:12:00,594 Are we downing these, then? Sipping's fine. 210 00:12:00,634 --> 00:12:03,954 Down in one. Hold onto your dicks. 211 00:12:24,274 --> 00:12:26,634 And we're here. Here? What happens here? 212 00:12:26,674 --> 00:12:29,514 There's a stripper hiding somewhere, I can smell it. 213 00:12:29,554 --> 00:12:33,514 Isn't this Servius Tullius? That's right. Because... 214 00:12:33,554 --> 00:12:37,634 On this spot, King Servius was murdered by Tarquin. 215 00:12:38,074 --> 00:12:40,954 And they say the wind that whistles through the portico 216 00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:43,474 sounds like his dying screams. 217 00:12:43,514 --> 00:12:45,754 What's this you're doing? It's a ghost tour. 218 00:12:45,794 --> 00:12:48,354 What?! A ghost tour. Oh, great news. 219 00:12:48,394 --> 00:12:50,634 You see? I don't want to do a ghost tour. 220 00:12:50,674 --> 00:12:54,034 We should be grinding with hotties. And stuffing our faces. 221 00:12:54,074 --> 00:12:57,674 Just give it a chance. Servius Tullius is most famous 222 00:12:57,714 --> 00:13:00,794 for his series of tax reforms. I'll skip this bit. 223 00:13:01,194 --> 00:13:04,634 However, a full three years after Caesar's murder - 224 00:13:04,674 --> 00:13:08,154 This is rubbish! Stick with it. A local reported 225 00:13:08,194 --> 00:13:10,994 that, "I was walking past the senate at the dead of night 226 00:13:11,034 --> 00:13:13,274 and saw a robed figure covered in blood, 227 00:13:13,314 --> 00:13:17,994 wearing a crown of laurels." You don't know what you're doing 228 00:13:18,034 --> 00:13:20,754 You might learn something. A small suggestion. 229 00:13:20,794 --> 00:13:23,274 When we did this for my maiden aunt's 65th, 230 00:13:23,314 --> 00:13:26,874 the guide did lots of voices. Are we doing something aunts do? 231 00:13:26,914 --> 00:13:30,314 It's getting good. We're about to look for blood stains. 232 00:13:30,354 --> 00:13:34,994 They'll have cleared them up. Shh! Everyone look for blood stains. 233 00:13:38,394 --> 00:13:40,194 I'll just have the one. 234 00:13:40,234 --> 00:13:43,314 There aren't any blood stains. OK, so, carrying on... 235 00:13:43,354 --> 00:13:47,154 Fuck this, I'm sobering up here. Yes, agreed. Let's move on. 236 00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:50,314 It's just... money-wise... We could go to the Kitten Club. 237 00:13:50,354 --> 00:13:53,874 Yes, what's that? Let's go there. It's a bar 238 00:13:53,914 --> 00:13:56,314 where the waitresses dress as cats. Yes! 239 00:13:56,354 --> 00:13:57,834 No. Let's skin a cat. 240 00:13:57,874 --> 00:14:00,714 We're not going there. I'm best man, this is my show, 241 00:14:00,754 --> 00:14:03,634 we are not going. Then you're sacked. Be my best man? 242 00:14:03,674 --> 00:14:08,474 Sure thing. Let's go. Yes! Kitty Club, Kitty Club! 243 00:14:09,674 --> 00:14:12,394 I put a lot of effort into this stag, you know. 244 00:14:12,754 --> 00:14:14,674 I'll just have the two. 245 00:14:20,394 --> 00:14:23,794 Right, let's keep a low profile. Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! 246 00:14:23,834 --> 00:14:25,074 OK. Perfect. 247 00:14:25,514 --> 00:14:29,234 Marcus, you came down. Yeah. I wanted to support you. 248 00:14:29,274 --> 00:14:31,154 Pussy time! Pussy time! 249 00:14:31,194 --> 00:14:34,994 Can you stop chanting, please, mate? It's a stag do. He's a bit... much. 250 00:14:35,034 --> 00:14:38,554 Oh, well, thanks for coming. Maybe take the dildos off? 251 00:14:38,834 --> 00:14:41,154 Yeah. Dildos off! Dildos off! 252 00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:43,794 We won't stay long. 253 00:14:43,834 --> 00:14:47,714 Is that your mate I met at New Year? Um... No, I don't think so. 254 00:14:47,754 --> 00:14:50,914 Let's get some half-price drinks. Half-price drinks! 255 00:15:34,114 --> 00:15:37,194 Whoa! The old witch never used to let me gamble. 256 00:15:37,394 --> 00:15:42,114 Let's make up for lost time. Too right, kiddo. Let's roll. 257 00:15:44,394 --> 00:15:47,074 It is her. Think she's still up for it? 258 00:15:47,114 --> 00:15:50,274 What? You're getting married. Yeah, I know. 259 00:15:50,314 --> 00:15:53,674 And I'll never have sex again. Drusilla's got brittle bones. 260 00:15:53,714 --> 00:15:56,274 You'll make it work. It'll be fine, won't it? 261 00:15:56,314 --> 00:15:59,954 Well, I'm no expert. Maybe you could employ some sort of harness. 262 00:15:59,994 --> 00:16:02,394 See? A harness. 263 00:16:02,714 --> 00:16:04,754 My father should have warned me. Why? 264 00:16:04,794 --> 00:16:08,154 It was his idea. He does business with her dad. 265 00:16:08,194 --> 00:16:11,274 It's more tax-efficient if the families are legally joined. 266 00:16:11,314 --> 00:16:14,754 Very shrewd. And romantic, in a way. 267 00:16:14,794 --> 00:16:16,834 So, cheers to that. 268 00:16:23,634 --> 00:16:27,034 All of it. Evens. Hey, whoa! Don't do that. 269 00:16:27,074 --> 00:16:28,594 Really? Put it on odds. 270 00:16:28,634 --> 00:16:32,794 Odds is better odds, hence the name. Good call. Everything on odds. 271 00:16:33,474 --> 00:16:37,274 If I win, pay off me debts, sort me life out. If I lose... 272 00:16:37,314 --> 00:16:39,314 Can't lose. 273 00:16:39,674 --> 00:16:41,554 Come on, you odds. 274 00:16:43,354 --> 00:16:44,994 Oh! Yeah. 275 00:16:46,754 --> 00:16:49,154 No, wait. I need that. 276 00:16:49,474 --> 00:16:52,954 No, no. You can't do this. My wife's left me, for Jove's sake! 277 00:16:52,994 --> 00:16:56,034 Steady on. I didn't mean it. 278 00:16:56,074 --> 00:16:59,274 Just give it back! Can you control him, please? 279 00:16:59,314 --> 00:17:01,674 Sorry. Oh, you're back, are you? 280 00:17:01,714 --> 00:17:04,354 Couldn't keep away, is that it? Excuse me? 281 00:17:04,394 --> 00:17:06,954 Aurelius, stop it. She loves it, mate. 282 00:17:06,994 --> 00:17:09,434 Ah! What the hell are you doing? 283 00:17:09,474 --> 00:17:11,474 Miaow! 284 00:17:11,834 --> 00:17:14,434 Ah! Aaaah! 285 00:17:14,674 --> 00:17:16,114 Oh, my nose. Sorry. 286 00:17:16,154 --> 00:17:17,794 You hit me. I'm really sorry. 287 00:17:17,834 --> 00:17:21,634 I'm the stag. You can't hit the stag! 288 00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:25,714 Cynth, I'm really sorry about that. I've just been fired because of you. 289 00:17:25,754 --> 00:17:27,794 He was trying to grope you. I loved that job. 290 00:17:27,834 --> 00:17:29,874 It was a stopgap. 291 00:17:29,914 --> 00:17:33,154 In your heart, you're an actress! Fuck yourself, Fish Face. 292 00:17:33,914 --> 00:17:37,954 This is your fault. It was to save us from your tour. 293 00:17:43,874 --> 00:17:46,274 Where is it? 294 00:17:47,034 --> 00:17:50,554 Well, that's what I call a shit stag. 295 00:17:50,594 --> 00:17:53,474 It ain't over yet, kiddo. We're making a night of this. 296 00:17:53,514 --> 00:17:56,954 Yes. Lead us. I don't think he's in the right frame of mind. 297 00:17:56,994 --> 00:18:01,194 And I'm sacking you, doing nothing while the stag's getting decked. 298 00:18:01,234 --> 00:18:02,634 You. Balbus. 299 00:18:02,674 --> 00:18:06,474 Will you be my best man? Yes. Finally! Yes, I bloody will. 300 00:18:06,514 --> 00:18:09,754 Well, I'd best be off. Thank you all for a lovely evening. 301 00:18:09,794 --> 00:18:12,594 You're staying. I've got to tuck my mother in. 302 00:18:12,634 --> 00:18:16,914 And I'll tuck in your mother if you leave now. You ain't going nowhere. 303 00:18:16,954 --> 00:18:19,954 Soft cock. You're staying! Oi! 304 00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:25,354 Right. Fix up and look sharp. You're following me. Where to? 305 00:18:25,394 --> 00:18:28,554 To the wall of glory, the best-kept secret in Rome. 306 00:18:28,594 --> 00:18:31,394 Up you get, Numb Nuts. 307 00:18:33,514 --> 00:18:35,074 Oi, oi. 308 00:18:38,794 --> 00:18:40,994 Yes! There are spaces. 309 00:18:41,434 --> 00:18:45,074 Pick your hole, then, gents. Sorry, what is this place? 310 00:18:45,114 --> 00:18:47,874 This is the wall of glory. 311 00:18:48,154 --> 00:18:50,794 Just edge forward and park up. 312 00:18:51,194 --> 00:18:54,594 What? In the hole? Are you serious? They're clean girls. 313 00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:57,114 I do it all the time. They won't bite it off. 314 00:18:57,154 --> 00:18:59,634 I'm really not into this. What? Come on! 315 00:18:59,674 --> 00:19:02,634 Nah. Nor me. I don't put my dick in a wall as a rule. 316 00:19:02,914 --> 00:19:05,914 Staggy, then? Oh, I'm not sure. 317 00:19:05,954 --> 00:19:09,274 Once you get hitched this is all the action you'll get. 318 00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:13,154 Well, I am the stag. That's it, kiddo. 319 00:19:13,194 --> 00:19:16,114 You're in for a treat. Coins. Uh... 320 00:19:17,234 --> 00:19:18,354 Come here. Yeah. 321 00:19:18,554 --> 00:19:23,274 You put your coin in one slot, you put your boy in the other. 322 00:19:23,314 --> 00:19:25,194 And then you brace yourself. 323 00:19:26,074 --> 00:19:28,394 Ooh! Right. Yes. Mmm. 324 00:19:28,434 --> 00:19:30,194 No. Ah... No. 325 00:19:30,554 --> 00:19:33,834 Sorry, can I...? I don't like it. I've changed my mind. 326 00:19:33,874 --> 00:19:38,634 No, you don't. We've paid now. Be as quick as you can, please. 327 00:19:43,674 --> 00:19:45,074 Salve, Grumio. 328 00:19:45,114 --> 00:19:47,594 All right, landlord? Yeah, I am, actually. 329 00:19:47,634 --> 00:19:51,114 Finally got rid of the rozzers. Still got my package, I see. 330 00:19:51,154 --> 00:19:53,794 I'll have that back now. 331 00:19:53,834 --> 00:19:56,594 Been helping yourself, then? You've got a beak. 332 00:19:56,954 --> 00:19:59,474 I'll take that as a yes. 333 00:19:59,514 --> 00:20:01,474 Centurion! Oi! 334 00:20:01,914 --> 00:20:03,994 Shit sticks! 335 00:20:05,514 --> 00:20:07,914 Get that into your arsehole. Pocket! 336 00:20:07,954 --> 00:20:09,954 Pocket. 337 00:20:12,034 --> 00:20:13,354 We should go. 338 00:20:18,554 --> 00:20:20,634 Oh, God. 339 00:20:22,314 --> 00:20:24,874 Wait. That can't be it. Where are the girls? 340 00:20:25,234 --> 00:20:28,714 There are hot girls behind there. Yeah. I don't think there are. 341 00:20:28,754 --> 00:20:30,554 Argh! 342 00:20:30,594 --> 00:20:33,394 Stop where you are! Argh! 343 00:20:39,474 --> 00:20:42,114 Shoo! Argh! 344 00:20:51,994 --> 00:20:54,754 Oh. Oh. I feel sick. Where's Balbus? 345 00:20:54,994 --> 00:20:57,154 I thought he was with us. Balbus! 346 00:20:57,194 --> 00:21:00,434 I'm going to do it! Oh! What are you doing now? 347 00:21:00,474 --> 00:21:02,874 I'm gonna bloody jump. Whoa! Don't jump. 348 00:21:02,914 --> 00:21:06,434 I've got nothing left, kiddo. The witch has taken everything, 349 00:21:06,474 --> 00:21:09,634 my money, my kids, my house. 350 00:21:09,674 --> 00:21:11,994 And it turns out I've spent most Friday nights 351 00:21:12,034 --> 00:21:14,794 getting sucked off by old men! 352 00:21:14,834 --> 00:21:17,114 You can't pin that on her. I'm gonna do it. 353 00:21:17,154 --> 00:21:19,674 Wait! You can't! Give me one good reason not to. 354 00:21:19,714 --> 00:21:21,874 You haven't taught me how to reverse yet. 355 00:21:21,914 --> 00:21:26,274 You don't need me. No-one does! Hey! That's not true. 356 00:21:26,314 --> 00:21:28,754 You're the best in the bizzle. 357 00:21:28,914 --> 00:21:33,794 Learner drivers everywhere need you. And you're great on a stag. 358 00:21:33,834 --> 00:21:35,474 Isn't he, Marcus? 359 00:21:35,514 --> 00:21:39,394 You? Yes. You're a bloody legend. 360 00:21:41,434 --> 00:21:46,034 I mean, that can't be all there is, though. 361 00:21:46,074 --> 00:21:48,554 I need more than that. 362 00:21:49,514 --> 00:21:52,274 I'll give you a big bag of drugs. 363 00:21:52,514 --> 00:21:54,954 OK, I'm coming down. Right. 364 00:21:54,994 --> 00:21:57,354 Good. Let's get him home before the wedding. 365 00:21:57,394 --> 00:21:59,754 No, it's off. I'm not getting married. 366 00:21:59,794 --> 00:22:01,514 What? Not if that's the result. 367 00:22:01,554 --> 00:22:04,674 It doesn't always do this. This is quite a special case. 368 00:22:04,714 --> 00:22:07,034 I'll tell Dad in the morning. I don't love her. 369 00:22:07,074 --> 00:22:12,234 I don't want to have sex in a harness. All this for nothing? 370 00:22:18,594 --> 00:22:22,354 Pretty good stag, all told. The wedding's been cancelled 371 00:22:22,394 --> 00:22:26,754 and someone tried to kill himself. I kept having fucked up visions 372 00:22:26,794 --> 00:22:31,594 of chickens everywhere and people getting noshed off by old men. 373 00:22:31,634 --> 00:22:34,754 Unfortunately, most of that happened. 374 00:22:34,794 --> 00:22:36,874 Shit. Dead end. 375 00:22:36,914 --> 00:22:40,594 So, do a U-ie. I've never managed one before. 376 00:22:41,674 --> 00:22:44,274 All right. Let's do this. Tsk, tsk. 377 00:22:53,392 --> 00:23:27,482 378 00:23:27,532 --> 00:23:32,082 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 31146

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