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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,413 --> 00:00:06,893 The seas will rise up and drown the people living in the lowlands. 2 00:00:06,947 --> 00:00:09,947 Doughnuts! And the sun shall beat down, 3 00:00:09,987 --> 00:00:13,667 and burn all those people living in the hills. 4 00:00:13,707 --> 00:00:18,707 Doughnuts! And those people living on the lands that are neither high nor low 5 00:00:18,747 --> 00:00:23,667 will also die through a combination of burning and drowning. 6 00:00:23,707 --> 00:00:27,187 None of you are safe. The end is nigh. 7 00:00:27,227 --> 00:00:29,147 Come get your doughnuts! 8 00:00:29,187 --> 00:00:31,667 So... When's the world ending? 9 00:00:31,707 --> 00:00:33,987 Oh, I dunno. I were listening to that doughnut guy. 10 00:00:34,027 --> 00:00:36,467 Nigh, apparently. Oh, right. Nigh. 11 00:00:36,507 --> 00:00:40,267 Hang on, doesn't that mean soon? Well, yeah. To the people that say it, it means soon. 12 00:00:40,307 --> 00:00:42,787 To everyone else, it means you're a nutter talking shit. 13 00:00:42,827 --> 00:00:44,947 I'm gonna get a doughnut, just in case. 14 00:00:46,187 --> 00:00:48,347 If the world did end, I'd be bloody miffed. 15 00:00:48,387 --> 00:00:50,147 I've got so much to give. 16 00:00:50,187 --> 00:00:52,587 I dunno. I can see the appeal of oblivion. 17 00:00:52,627 --> 00:00:54,227 At least everyone would shut up. 18 00:00:54,267 --> 00:00:57,267 We're just broke single dickheads, anyway. What have we got to live for? 19 00:00:57,307 --> 00:01:00,787 Mate, you dunno what you're talking about. The future is gonna be peachy as shit. 20 00:01:00,827 --> 00:01:03,227 Yeah? You think? Yeah, I do think. 21 00:01:03,267 --> 00:01:05,667 We'll get a new flat, climb the corporate ladder. 22 00:01:05,707 --> 00:01:08,267 You'll get with Cynthia, I'll get with everybody else. 23 00:01:08,307 --> 00:01:10,347 And when's this happening, exactly? 24 00:01:10,387 --> 00:01:12,587 Well, I don't know when exactly, but it is nigh. 25 00:01:12,627 --> 00:01:14,267 It's really fucking nigh. 26 00:01:14,987 --> 00:01:31,240 27 00:01:33,507 --> 00:01:37,187 How's the doughnut, then? Oh, nasty. Don't like it. 28 00:01:37,227 --> 00:01:39,227 But you gonna finish it? Oh, yeah. 29 00:01:42,027 --> 00:01:44,667 Hey, guys! Isn't this wicked? 30 00:01:44,707 --> 00:01:47,507 Look at all the Saturnalia stuff we've bought. Oh, brilliant. 31 00:01:47,547 --> 00:01:50,387 What have you got? So far, we've got a set of wooden eggs 32 00:01:50,427 --> 00:01:52,267 and some tiny straw animals. 33 00:01:52,307 --> 00:01:54,947 Just the essentials. Mets, look! Wind chimes! 34 00:01:54,987 --> 00:01:57,867 We do need some wind chimes. But, of course. 35 00:01:59,547 --> 00:02:02,027 Shit! I'm so sorry. Are you all right? 36 00:02:02,067 --> 00:02:04,547 You bloody fool! I'm really sorry. 37 00:02:04,587 --> 00:02:09,187 It was an accident. Before the year's out, you'll have an accident of your own. 38 00:02:09,227 --> 00:02:11,387 What? Really? All right. She said she was sorry. 39 00:02:11,427 --> 00:02:13,427 Do you want some? No, thank you. 40 00:02:15,787 --> 00:02:18,587 Wow, that was creepy. Nah, it's probably fine. 41 00:02:18,627 --> 00:02:22,747 Earlier, she was banging on about the end of the world. She's just a real wet blanket. 42 00:02:22,787 --> 00:02:24,427 Right, yeah. 43 00:02:24,467 --> 00:02:26,467 Mad old trout. 44 00:02:29,307 --> 00:02:31,427 Midnight, tomorrow, my friend. 45 00:02:31,467 --> 00:02:34,987 That's when it's nigh. That's when people lose their shit. 46 00:02:35,027 --> 00:02:38,467 OK. In a good way? Yeah. You'll finally get with Cynthia. 47 00:02:38,507 --> 00:02:42,147 Apparently, everyone rams into the Forum for the countdown and the gong banging. 48 00:02:42,187 --> 00:02:45,507 Then, all the girls gruffle whoever they're next to. 49 00:02:45,547 --> 00:02:47,147 Why would they do that? I dunno. 50 00:02:47,187 --> 00:02:50,467 Carnival atmosphere? Moment of madness cos it's cold? Who cares? 51 00:02:50,507 --> 00:02:53,547 It's no longer about who you are, it's about where you stand. 52 00:02:53,587 --> 00:02:59,067 Let me get this straight. A hideous dog-man could snog a really hot babe just by standing next to her? 53 00:02:59,107 --> 00:03:02,027 Well, come along and we'll test it out. Oh, very funny. Not. 54 00:03:02,067 --> 00:03:06,187 I'm busy. At Saturnalia, I always volunteer at a homeless shelter. Wow. Wowzer. 55 00:03:06,227 --> 00:03:10,667 I did not know that. What do you do? I give them food, a bath, a warm bed for the night. 56 00:03:10,707 --> 00:03:12,507 Why is it warm? Are you in the bed? Ha, no. 57 00:03:12,547 --> 00:03:14,707 Do you cuddle them in the bed? Of course I don't. 58 00:03:14,747 --> 00:03:16,547 So, you fuck them warm? What? Oh, my God. 59 00:03:16,587 --> 00:03:19,547 I don't get it. If you don't cuddle them - I do not fuck the homeless warm! 60 00:03:19,587 --> 00:03:22,587 Well, good. You'd think they'd suffered enough. 61 00:03:22,627 --> 00:03:25,187 Can I have this in a larger font? It's giving me a headache. 62 00:03:25,227 --> 00:03:27,787 To clarify, I work at a homeless shelter at Saturnalia. 63 00:03:27,827 --> 00:03:29,987 It's not a sex arrangement. How noble of you. 64 00:03:30,027 --> 00:03:32,427 I'd love to do something like that but I worry I'd hate it. 65 00:03:32,467 --> 00:03:35,227 And, alas, I can't. It's my annual Saturnalia bash. 66 00:03:35,267 --> 00:03:37,587 I have gone a bit overboard this year. 67 00:03:37,627 --> 00:03:41,987 Really? Who's going? Friends, colleagues, waifs and strays, people I actively despise. 68 00:03:42,027 --> 00:03:44,027 Pretty much everyone I've ever met. 69 00:03:46,547 --> 00:03:49,187 I mean, how do we not fit into one of those groups? 70 00:03:56,387 --> 00:03:59,227 Salve, Grumio. Compliments of the season to you. 71 00:03:59,267 --> 00:04:03,547 Cheers. By the way, Marcus said I had to have a go at you about the damp in one of the rooms. 72 00:04:03,587 --> 00:04:05,707 Oh, right. Well, go on then. OK, cool. 73 00:04:05,747 --> 00:04:08,587 There's damp in one of the rooms. Yeah, it's a wet room. 74 00:04:08,627 --> 00:04:10,867 Oh...wicked. 75 00:04:10,907 --> 00:04:12,987 I'll pass that on. If you would. 76 00:04:13,027 --> 00:04:15,147 Can you smell that, by the way? 77 00:04:15,187 --> 00:04:17,227 What is it? It's like someone's having a BBQ. 78 00:04:17,267 --> 00:04:18,907 Oh, that. Yeah, that's the temple. 79 00:04:18,947 --> 00:04:21,827 They get all sacrificey during Saturnalia. 80 00:04:21,867 --> 00:04:23,627 So, who eats all the meat, then? 81 00:04:23,667 --> 00:04:25,867 The gods. Yeah, but who really eats it? 82 00:04:25,907 --> 00:04:30,587 Oh, I guess... Dogs, ants and any other animals that aren't that religious. 83 00:04:30,627 --> 00:04:32,627 Bit of a waste, if you ask me. 84 00:04:44,787 --> 00:04:46,507 Season's greetings, Metella. 85 00:04:46,547 --> 00:04:48,227 Just say hi. Yeah, hi. 86 00:04:48,267 --> 00:04:52,907 Tomorrow night we're going to the Forum for the gong banging, and you guys should definitely come. 87 00:04:52,947 --> 00:04:55,667 I'm having a quiet one. Thanks. Brilliant. Just Cynthia, then. 88 00:04:55,707 --> 00:04:57,547 Yep, she's the reason it's quiet. 89 00:04:57,587 --> 00:05:00,547 After that crone cursed her, 90 00:05:00,587 --> 00:05:02,987 she's been terrified about having an accident. What? 91 00:05:03,027 --> 00:05:05,667 That's... Cynthia! I really wouldn't bother. 92 00:05:05,707 --> 00:05:09,067 What? Who is it? It's Marcus. Has he got anything jagged on him? 93 00:05:09,107 --> 00:05:11,107 Just his face. 94 00:05:14,467 --> 00:05:16,787 Wow. You look cosy. What is it, Marcus? Quickly. 95 00:05:16,827 --> 00:05:19,107 OK, listen. Forget the whole curse thing. 96 00:05:19,147 --> 00:05:21,227 Come to the Forum. Saturnalia tomorrow night. 97 00:05:21,267 --> 00:05:23,987 It's gonna be this massive, wild, incredibly safe party. 98 00:05:24,027 --> 00:05:26,267 The Forum? Are you mad? No. I'll protect you! 99 00:05:26,307 --> 00:05:29,107 I could get trampled on. So... You can go on my shoulders. 100 00:05:29,147 --> 00:05:33,187 Or, I could get struck by lightning. So... I'll go on your shoulders. 101 00:05:33,227 --> 00:05:35,027 I'm not sure I can manage that. 102 00:05:35,067 --> 00:05:37,067 Maybe next year. 103 00:05:39,227 --> 00:05:40,947 Put a word in... 104 00:05:44,947 --> 00:05:47,827 Find the crone and make her reverse the curse. 105 00:05:47,867 --> 00:05:50,227 Do a reverse-a-curse. The crone hates us. 106 00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:52,187 She nearly cursed me. Well, then, pay her off. 107 00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:54,707 Or, even better, get her to say something good, like, 108 00:05:54,747 --> 00:05:57,187 'This year, you will shag Marcus.' 109 00:05:57,227 --> 00:05:59,747 That's an even worse curse. A worse-a-curse. 110 00:06:01,467 --> 00:06:03,387 What is this meat, Grum? It's so tasty. 111 00:06:03,427 --> 00:06:05,827 Yeah? I dunno. OK. 112 00:06:05,867 --> 00:06:09,107 Hang on, not OK. Why don't you know? It's not from a shop. 113 00:06:09,147 --> 00:06:12,107 OK. Where's it from? Temple. Right. Getting there. 114 00:06:12,147 --> 00:06:14,667 Why's it from the temple? They sacrifice meat. 115 00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:16,947 And you bought it, or...? Nabbed it. 116 00:06:16,987 --> 00:06:19,987 I see. So, we're eating stolen sacrificial meat, now? 117 00:06:22,307 --> 00:06:25,707 Right, you're fine with that? That we're chowing down on the food of the gods? 118 00:06:25,747 --> 00:06:30,227 I know. It's delicious. No, but it's really bad form to steal the gods' food. 119 00:06:30,267 --> 00:06:33,867 The gods aren't hungry. Or, you know... Real. 120 00:06:33,907 --> 00:06:37,787 Either way, it's not getting eaten. He's doing them a favour, tidying up all their loose meat. 121 00:06:37,827 --> 00:06:40,587 We shouldn't be eating loose meat. We dunno what it is. 122 00:06:40,627 --> 00:06:43,867 Well, it tastes like chicken. Yeah, you know what else tastes like chicken? 123 00:06:43,907 --> 00:06:45,787 Humans. 124 00:06:45,827 --> 00:06:47,827 Do they even do human sacrifices any more? 125 00:06:47,867 --> 00:06:50,987 Grumio, what are the chances that this is a person? 126 00:06:51,027 --> 00:06:54,227 Very slim. This is a chicken leg, Marcus. 127 00:06:54,267 --> 00:06:57,107 Look, there is no way that's from a human. 128 00:06:57,147 --> 00:06:59,187 This person would be laughably tiny. 129 00:07:01,227 --> 00:07:02,987 Or a baby. 130 00:07:03,027 --> 00:07:06,547 I'm joking. I'm mucking about. It won't be a baby. I'm finished. 131 00:07:07,747 --> 00:07:09,467 Oooh. 132 00:07:09,507 --> 00:07:11,507 Yes, thank you very much. 133 00:07:12,387 --> 00:07:15,067 Because I need her to come to the Forum with us. 134 00:07:15,107 --> 00:07:18,307 So, if you could tell her that she definitely won't have an accident. 135 00:07:18,347 --> 00:07:20,027 But she will have an accident. 136 00:07:20,067 --> 00:07:23,387 If she doesn't leave the flat, how's she gonna gruffle him? Kiss him. Kiss me. 137 00:07:23,427 --> 00:07:25,987 She will not kiss you. No, because of you. 138 00:07:26,027 --> 00:07:28,547 Because it is written. Is it written, though? 139 00:07:28,587 --> 00:07:32,907 Cos I've got some money here that should more than cover the whole rewriting process. 140 00:07:32,947 --> 00:07:35,787 It can not be rewritten. It is too late. 141 00:07:35,827 --> 00:07:37,787 The seas are rising. 142 00:07:37,827 --> 00:07:39,467 No, you've already done that one. 143 00:07:39,507 --> 00:07:41,987 The people in the lowlands will drown. 144 00:07:42,027 --> 00:07:43,827 No, they won't. Shut up. 145 00:07:43,867 --> 00:07:47,427 What are lowlands, anyway? Who says lowlands, you daft old bint. 146 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:51,387 Hey, whoa! What you doing? You will be forever miserable. 147 00:07:51,427 --> 00:07:54,667 And your penis will be shrivelled. 148 00:07:54,707 --> 00:07:57,827 Not bothered. Tell me something new. He's ten steps ahead of you, love. 149 00:07:57,867 --> 00:07:59,627 Picked the wrong penis to shrivel. 150 00:07:59,667 --> 00:08:02,547 This guy invented the shrivelled penis! All right. That's a bit much. 151 00:08:02,587 --> 00:08:04,587 Just backing you up. 152 00:08:20,427 --> 00:08:22,747 So, you know these sacrifices? 153 00:08:22,787 --> 00:08:24,627 Yes, yes. What about them? 154 00:08:24,667 --> 00:08:26,547 Do they come in lamb? 155 00:08:26,587 --> 00:08:28,347 I'm sorry, do they what, little buddy? 156 00:08:28,387 --> 00:08:30,507 Do you do 'em in lamb? 157 00:08:30,547 --> 00:08:34,027 Yes, we can sacrifice lambs. Why do you ask? 158 00:08:34,067 --> 00:08:38,507 Just... I reckon the gods would be well into that chubby one, there. 159 00:08:38,547 --> 00:08:41,347 Right. Well, it's good of you to take an interest. 160 00:08:41,387 --> 00:08:43,387 No worries. 161 00:08:47,787 --> 00:08:51,387 That's a different crone. No. Same crone. Different day. Definitely the same. 162 00:08:51,427 --> 00:08:53,667 She's a bit...older. We're all a bit older. 163 00:08:53,707 --> 00:08:55,347 And thinner. She's been working out. 164 00:08:55,387 --> 00:08:57,387 And she's only got one arm. Has she? 165 00:08:59,467 --> 00:09:01,707 Yeah...she lost it. Lost it? 166 00:09:01,747 --> 00:09:04,187 Yeah. Yesterday. You know, you win some, you lose some. 167 00:09:04,227 --> 00:09:06,307 That phrase doesn't apply to arms. 168 00:09:06,347 --> 00:09:08,347 See you in the new year. 169 00:09:09,787 --> 00:09:11,787 Good effort. Come on, you. 170 00:09:13,427 --> 00:09:15,427 No, no, no. We said no win, no fee. 171 00:09:46,667 --> 00:09:49,467 Little man! 172 00:09:49,507 --> 00:09:51,507 Can I help you with something? 173 00:09:53,187 --> 00:09:55,187 Have you got a doggy bag? 174 00:09:56,467 --> 00:09:58,547 We don't need them. We hit the Forum anyway. 175 00:09:58,587 --> 00:10:01,747 Find some other girls, wait for the gong and pounce. 176 00:10:01,787 --> 00:10:04,467 Really? Pounce? Yeah. Pounce like a cat. 177 00:10:04,507 --> 00:10:06,787 Or like a rapist. More like a cat. 178 00:10:06,827 --> 00:10:09,507 Listen. Why don't you come to the homeless shelter with me? 179 00:10:09,547 --> 00:10:11,827 They always need a hand. They always need a handjob? 180 00:10:11,867 --> 00:10:16,827 Do you give out handjobs? No, I - OK. You can take the piss as much as you want, 181 00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:19,347 but the work that these guys do is really important. 182 00:10:19,387 --> 00:10:23,187 I feel proud to spend Saturnalia making a difference to people's lives. 183 00:10:23,227 --> 00:10:25,867 Quick question. Do you want to come to my Saturnalia party? 184 00:10:25,907 --> 00:10:28,387 Oh, yes. Yes, please. Whoa, what about the homeless? 185 00:10:28,427 --> 00:10:30,707 I can rearrange. You can rearrange homelessness? 186 00:10:30,747 --> 00:10:32,787 It's OK. They're used to disappointment. 187 00:10:32,827 --> 00:10:37,987 You two? Or will you be too busy drinking yourselves blind and laying in your own throw-up. 188 00:10:38,027 --> 00:10:39,667 We'd love to come. Marvellous. 189 00:10:39,707 --> 00:10:41,387 Well, come around seven and, er... 190 00:10:41,427 --> 00:10:44,587 Don't take this the wrong way, but have you got any nice clothes? 191 00:10:44,627 --> 00:10:46,867 I think so. I can rent something. Exactly. 192 00:10:46,907 --> 00:10:48,907 And maybe try brushing your teeth. 193 00:10:50,627 --> 00:10:53,187 Yes, I'm in! 194 00:10:53,227 --> 00:10:55,467 It's taken five years but I'm finally in. 195 00:11:17,630 --> 00:11:21,510 So... The Centurion there wants to bang you up. 196 00:11:21,658 --> 00:11:23,778 Ah, jizz. 197 00:11:23,818 --> 00:11:27,178 But I have told him it ain't going to happen. 198 00:11:27,218 --> 00:11:29,018 So, he's backing off. 199 00:11:29,058 --> 00:11:31,058 Wicked. Ta. 200 00:11:31,098 --> 00:11:34,218 He doesn't get how hard it is for guys like you. 201 00:11:34,258 --> 00:11:36,858 You know, you're driven to this. You need to eat. 202 00:11:36,898 --> 00:11:40,138 I really do. Because if people are so hungry, 203 00:11:40,178 --> 00:11:42,538 if their situation is so dire, 204 00:11:42,578 --> 00:11:45,098 that they need to steal religious offerings, 205 00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:47,738 then that, my friend, is the fault of society. 206 00:11:47,778 --> 00:11:50,058 Bloody society. 207 00:11:50,098 --> 00:11:51,738 We're going to look after you here. 208 00:11:51,778 --> 00:11:54,698 So, you don't need to feel scared or hungry any more. 209 00:11:54,738 --> 00:11:57,338 OK, cool. 210 00:11:57,378 --> 00:11:59,378 I'm more hungry than scared but... 211 00:12:04,578 --> 00:12:06,618 What's she doing out? Cynthia! 212 00:12:06,658 --> 00:12:08,418 Oh, hey. There you are. 213 00:12:08,458 --> 00:12:10,698 Guess what. It's happened. What's happened? 214 00:12:10,738 --> 00:12:12,898 The accident. It's happened? 215 00:12:12,938 --> 00:12:15,498 You know there's damp in the flats? The water feature. 216 00:12:15,538 --> 00:12:19,538 Well, it finally got too damp and this whole chunk of ceiling came crashing down. 217 00:12:19,578 --> 00:12:22,858 It's brilliant. Some call it brilliant, others criminal negligence. 218 00:12:22,898 --> 00:12:25,618 I'll go for brilliant. I asked you to deal with that ages ago. 219 00:12:25,658 --> 00:12:29,258 Good job I didn't. Or I could have had an even worse accident down the line. 220 00:12:29,298 --> 00:12:32,178 There you go. So, anyway, we're now hugely pumped for tonight. 221 00:12:32,218 --> 00:12:34,978 You guys are still free, right? 222 00:12:35,018 --> 00:12:37,018 Er... 223 00:12:41,018 --> 00:12:42,858 What time did you say we'd meet the girls? 224 00:12:42,898 --> 00:12:45,258 Nine. At the doughnut stand. OK, perfect. 225 00:12:45,298 --> 00:12:48,178 We'll put in some quality face time at Flavia's and then raz over. 226 00:12:48,218 --> 00:12:51,058 We're just popping in, right? We'll pop for like an hour. Max. 227 00:12:51,098 --> 00:12:53,018 OK, well, we've gotta go. Grumio? 228 00:12:53,058 --> 00:12:55,218 We're off, mate. 229 00:12:55,258 --> 00:12:58,418 And you're wearing a crown, are you? I am, yes. 230 00:12:58,458 --> 00:13:01,738 Have you seen Grumio? Did we...put him somewhere? 231 00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:09,418 He abuses you? 232 00:13:09,458 --> 00:13:11,898 Your master? He makes me do stuff. 233 00:13:11,938 --> 00:13:13,778 Hmmm. Hmmm. 234 00:13:13,818 --> 00:13:18,138 What kind of stuff? Shopping, cleaning - Sex acts? 235 00:13:18,178 --> 00:13:20,818 Any sexual abuse of any kind? 236 00:13:20,858 --> 00:13:24,098 More your verbals. Dissing and that. Hmmm, hmmm. 237 00:13:24,138 --> 00:13:27,698 A lot of the other guys were also raped by their masters. 238 00:13:27,738 --> 00:13:30,258 Oh, not raped. No. Or they're in denial. 239 00:13:31,418 --> 00:13:34,698 We have a little saying here at the Temple of Sibyli. 240 00:13:34,738 --> 00:13:38,698 If you don't admit it's real, you're never gonna heal. 241 00:13:38,738 --> 00:13:42,018 Hmmm? Hmmm. Hmmm! 242 00:13:50,378 --> 00:13:52,458 Sorry, I don't know what's going on. No, OK. 243 00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:56,138 I think you should have a little read of this. It'll tell you about the mission. 244 00:13:56,178 --> 00:13:58,858 I think you're gonna really vibe with it. 245 00:13:58,898 --> 00:14:02,658 All finished? Yes. Thank you, Brother Laurence. Thank you, Brother Quintus. 246 00:14:02,698 --> 00:14:05,938 Now, Grumio, are you ready for your rub down? 247 00:14:09,858 --> 00:14:12,098 I think we might be early. She said seven. 248 00:14:14,698 --> 00:14:18,338 Look at you, Shredder. That crown is just divine. 249 00:14:18,378 --> 00:14:20,378 In you come. 250 00:14:24,738 --> 00:14:27,378 Sorry, are we early? No, no. You're just in time. 251 00:14:27,418 --> 00:14:30,458 The guests will be arriving any moment. And here we are. 252 00:14:31,418 --> 00:14:33,778 What do you mean guests? Are we not - Nooo. 253 00:14:33,818 --> 00:14:37,738 Copier, if you follow Water boy around giving out the canapes, there. 254 00:14:37,778 --> 00:14:41,458 Right. Water man. Do try to distribute the food as effectively as possible 255 00:14:41,498 --> 00:14:44,178 because there are a couple of fat fucks in business affairs 256 00:14:44,218 --> 00:14:46,898 that'll attempt to hem you in and snaffle the lot. 257 00:14:46,938 --> 00:14:50,298 Do not let them succeed. Yes, sorry. I hadn't realised. 258 00:14:50,338 --> 00:14:52,698 What? That we were working. Yes. 259 00:14:52,738 --> 00:14:55,978 Cos, er... What time will we knock off? 260 00:14:56,018 --> 00:14:58,938 The guests will leave shortly after midnight, you do the tidy up, 261 00:14:58,978 --> 00:15:01,858 I check you haven't stolen anything and you can be on your way. 262 00:15:01,898 --> 00:15:03,658 Ah, it's just... 263 00:15:03,698 --> 00:15:06,418 We were hoping to go to the Forum for the gong. 264 00:15:06,458 --> 00:15:08,618 Oh, if you want to leave at any time, you can. 265 00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:11,458 But don't bother coming back to work on Monday, OK? 266 00:15:12,338 --> 00:15:14,298 So, am I doing canapes, then? 267 00:15:14,338 --> 00:15:16,018 No, no. You follow me, Shredder. 268 00:15:16,058 --> 00:15:19,698 I have something a little more special...planned for you. Right. 269 00:15:24,258 --> 00:15:26,618 How's this? Yeah, good. 270 00:15:26,658 --> 00:15:28,658 Can you go a bit higher? Like that? 271 00:15:30,058 --> 00:15:31,698 Oh, yeah. 272 00:15:31,738 --> 00:15:34,098 Yep. That's class, that is. 273 00:15:34,138 --> 00:15:36,138 Ohhh. 274 00:15:47,618 --> 00:15:49,618 Whoa there. OK. 275 00:15:50,698 --> 00:15:53,178 What are these, please? Er, fig rolls. 276 00:15:53,218 --> 00:15:56,418 And what's this, please? That's strawberries and cream. 277 00:16:00,898 --> 00:16:02,858 How is it? How d'you think it is? 278 00:16:02,898 --> 00:16:05,658 Creamy. We need to get out of here, man. 279 00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:07,298 Some of the guests are - Oi! 280 00:16:07,338 --> 00:16:09,098 Oh. Sorry. 281 00:16:09,138 --> 00:16:11,138 Not there. You can't swipe there. 282 00:16:11,178 --> 00:16:13,178 That's where the most cream is. Yeah, even so. 283 00:16:13,218 --> 00:16:16,258 In the cleft. Stay away from the cleft. 284 00:16:20,778 --> 00:16:24,538 You see what I'm saying? Some people aren't even bothering with the strawberries. 285 00:16:24,578 --> 00:16:26,858 OK, we need to get out of here. I know, but how? I dunno. 286 00:16:26,898 --> 00:16:29,098 Maybe sneak out? What? Sneak out? 287 00:16:29,138 --> 00:16:32,738 I think people might notice if the cream covered human statue tries to sneak out. 288 00:16:32,778 --> 00:16:35,658 Copier! Circulate. Yeah, sorry. I am. 289 00:16:37,298 --> 00:16:39,298 So many options. 290 00:16:43,018 --> 00:16:44,618 How's it going? Rubbish. 291 00:16:44,658 --> 00:16:46,698 It's like being at work, but in a rented toga. 292 00:16:46,738 --> 00:16:48,818 It's nearly ten. This is dog shit. 293 00:16:48,858 --> 00:16:51,738 We can't stay here all night. We can't leave. She'll fire us. 294 00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:55,258 If we get to the Forum there'll be the gong and people - No, it's not worth it. 295 00:16:55,298 --> 00:16:57,458 We're meeting some girls. Hot girls? Yes. 296 00:16:57,498 --> 00:17:00,938 Hot girls. So, listen. I don't like you and you don't like me, but if - 297 00:17:00,978 --> 00:17:02,698 I do like you. 298 00:17:02,738 --> 00:17:05,858 OK. Well... We need to work together. You don't like me? 299 00:17:05,898 --> 00:17:08,458 Er - Why don't you like me? We're getting bogged down now. 300 00:17:08,498 --> 00:17:10,778 I thought you liked me. I do. You just said you didn't. 301 00:17:10,818 --> 00:17:12,738 It's a phrase. Not for when you like someone. 302 00:17:12,778 --> 00:17:15,538 Hey! I think you're great, Aurelius. 303 00:17:15,578 --> 00:17:20,018 So, why did you just say - Now, help us get out of here and you can meet the hot girls. 304 00:17:20,858 --> 00:17:24,458 OK, deal. What's the plan? Cool. We need to stop the party somehow. 305 00:17:24,498 --> 00:17:26,978 Start a fire? Oh! I've got an amazing idea. 306 00:17:27,018 --> 00:17:30,018 OK, what is it? Right, we start a big old ruckus. 307 00:17:30,058 --> 00:17:33,578 Keep talking. So, I'm pretty sure that Julia, from reception, 308 00:17:33,618 --> 00:17:38,258 is having an affair with Balbo, the Communications Director, who's married to Livia, from admin. 309 00:17:38,298 --> 00:17:42,018 If you tell Sexstus, from compliance, that Livia has been shagging Ambrosius, 310 00:17:42,058 --> 00:17:45,218 and I'll tell Julia that Sexstus has been getting it on with Abana, from HR, 311 00:17:45,258 --> 00:17:47,778 and this place will get pretty f-ing nasty. 312 00:17:47,818 --> 00:17:52,138 Right. Definitely? Well, at the very least, the atmosphere will be awful. 313 00:17:52,178 --> 00:17:54,498 Cos I was thinking you could diddle the water clock 314 00:17:54,538 --> 00:17:57,018 and we could bring midnight forward an hour. 315 00:17:57,058 --> 00:18:00,538 Yeah. Let's do that. 316 00:18:15,978 --> 00:18:17,898 Right, well... 317 00:18:17,938 --> 00:18:20,458 Thanks for the rub down and the scroll and that. 318 00:18:20,498 --> 00:18:24,738 Well, may Sibyli bless you on your holy journey. 319 00:18:24,778 --> 00:18:28,498 May...he...bless you - Is it a he or she? 320 00:18:28,538 --> 00:18:30,218 Have you read the scroll? 321 00:18:30,258 --> 00:18:32,498 Hmmm. Hmmm? Hmmm? 322 00:18:32,538 --> 00:18:34,338 It's a she, ain't it? Mm-hm. 323 00:18:34,378 --> 00:18:36,538 Cos of the boobs. 324 00:18:36,578 --> 00:18:41,018 Well, if you want to just pop on to the back of the cart there with the other trainees. 325 00:18:41,058 --> 00:18:43,898 Oh, right. Are we gonna get dropped off, then? 326 00:18:43,938 --> 00:18:45,698 I were just gonna walk it. 327 00:18:45,738 --> 00:18:47,658 Precious. No, no, no. 328 00:18:47,698 --> 00:18:49,698 Up you pop. 329 00:18:54,338 --> 00:18:56,858 It's time! Everybody, let's go! 330 00:18:56,898 --> 00:19:00,138 10... Is it midnight already? 331 00:19:00,178 --> 00:19:02,858 7...6...5... 332 00:19:05,298 --> 00:19:08,018 Sorry, which way are we going? Cos I live back that way. 333 00:19:08,058 --> 00:19:11,978 We're heading to the docks. It'll only take a couple of hours. 334 00:19:12,018 --> 00:19:16,458 Right, don't mean to be a backseat driver or nothing, but that is a bit of a long way round. 335 00:19:16,498 --> 00:19:20,258 My gaff's up there. Well, first the docks, and then on to Cyprus. Hmmm? 336 00:19:20,298 --> 00:19:21,938 Hmmm. 337 00:19:21,978 --> 00:19:24,738 W-What's all this about Cyprus? Cyprus. 338 00:19:24,778 --> 00:19:28,258 Where you'll be castrated and continue to train at the Graduate Palace. Hmmm? 339 00:19:28,298 --> 00:19:30,618 Right. Palace. Oh. 340 00:19:30,658 --> 00:19:32,778 That sounds... Is it hot, Cyprus? 341 00:19:32,818 --> 00:19:36,218 Cyprus? Oh, very hot. Yes. Very hot. 342 00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:38,018 Like, nice hot? Not too hot, hot? 343 00:19:38,058 --> 00:19:40,178 No, no, no. Not too hot, hot. Nice hot, hot. 344 00:19:40,218 --> 00:19:43,498 Oh, yes. Right. Hmmm. Hmmm. 345 00:19:43,538 --> 00:19:45,458 Cool. 346 00:19:45,498 --> 00:19:47,498 And what's castrated, again? 347 00:20:11,218 --> 00:20:13,178 Doughnuts! 348 00:20:14,378 --> 00:20:16,178 Where are they? I was promised hot girls. 349 00:20:16,218 --> 00:20:18,058 They should be here, by the doughnut seller. 350 00:20:18,098 --> 00:20:21,298 Excuse me, mate. Are there any other doughnut sellers in the Forum? 351 00:20:21,338 --> 00:20:23,778 What's wrong with my doughnuts? Nothing. 352 00:20:23,818 --> 00:20:26,098 Salve, Marcus. Landlord. 353 00:20:26,138 --> 00:20:28,658 Ready for the frenzy? Yeah, they've not hit the gong yet? 354 00:20:28,698 --> 00:20:30,738 No, any moment now. Brace yourselves. 355 00:20:30,778 --> 00:20:33,618 Listen. Have you seen Cynthia? Haven't seen bugger all, mate. 356 00:20:33,658 --> 00:20:38,178 I had these mushrooms that have given me bat-shit mental hallucinations and stomach cramps. 357 00:20:38,218 --> 00:20:40,018 Do you want some? No, thanks. I will. 358 00:20:40,058 --> 00:20:42,738 Ah, good lad. Covered in cream, then? 359 00:20:42,778 --> 00:20:45,098 Yep. Classic. 360 00:20:45,138 --> 00:20:49,058 Are there any other doughnut sellers, Landlord? In the Forum? 361 00:20:49,098 --> 00:20:51,058 Landlord? 362 00:20:51,098 --> 00:20:52,778 Doughnut sellers? 363 00:20:52,818 --> 00:20:54,458 Shitloads, mate. 364 00:20:54,498 --> 00:20:57,858 But I've been having these quadruple visions, or something, so who knows? 365 00:20:57,898 --> 00:21:00,018 Good luck with that. 366 00:21:00,058 --> 00:21:02,498 Thanks for the mushrooms. Yeah, no problem. 367 00:21:10,498 --> 00:21:12,778 Doughnuts! 368 00:21:12,818 --> 00:21:15,818 Hey, Cynthia! Oh, wow. You found us! 369 00:21:15,858 --> 00:21:19,578 Yeah, hi. Sorry. We got a bit lost - And covered in cream. I got covered in cream, yes. 370 00:21:19,618 --> 00:21:22,018 Lovely to meet you, I'm Aurelius. All set for the gong? 371 00:21:22,058 --> 00:21:25,778 Oh, it's my favourite instrument. I'm Aurelius. All right, mate. Back off. What? 372 00:21:25,818 --> 00:21:28,458 Oh, this is so exciting! Here we go again. 373 00:21:28,498 --> 00:21:30,418 10...9... 374 00:21:30,458 --> 00:21:33,258 8...7...6... 375 00:21:33,298 --> 00:21:35,618 5...4...3... 376 00:21:35,658 --> 00:21:38,098 2...1... Marcus! 377 00:21:38,138 --> 00:21:40,018 Grumio? 378 00:21:40,058 --> 00:21:42,058 Marcus! 379 00:21:48,018 --> 00:21:50,018 Happy New Year! 380 00:21:51,098 --> 00:21:52,698 You, too, mate. 381 00:21:52,738 --> 00:21:54,738 You, too. 382 00:22:07,618 --> 00:22:09,618 Shit! 383 00:22:09,643 --> 00:22:40,722 384 00:22:40,772 --> 00:22:45,322 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 32143

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