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1
00:00:01,333 --> 00:00:03,333
Hello, young man.
How are you today?
2
00:00:03,910 --> 00:00:07,370
Fine. Would you care to make
a charitable donation towards...
3
00:00:07,417 --> 00:00:08,577
No, thanks, sorry.
4
00:00:08,578 --> 00:00:10,178
I haven't said what it's for yet.
5
00:00:10,218 --> 00:00:11,518
Yeah, but it will be a no, though.
6
00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:13,705
We're in a bit of a rush.
No, we're not. Are we not?
7
00:00:13,745 --> 00:00:16,345
Oh well, if you're not...
Because you have that audition.
8
00:00:16,385 --> 00:00:18,865
We've got loads of time.
What are you collecting for?
9
00:00:18,905 --> 00:00:21,225
Our injured and retired servicemen,
darling.
10
00:00:21,265 --> 00:00:23,225
Here's 10 denari.
11
00:00:23,265 --> 00:00:24,905
10? That's quite a lot.
12
00:00:24,945 --> 00:00:26,545
Thank you, love.
13
00:00:26,585 --> 00:00:28,585
And you, sir?
14
00:00:28,898 --> 00:00:30,898
Yes, OK, fine.
15
00:00:31,458 --> 00:00:33,178
Here's another 10, then.
16
00:00:33,218 --> 00:00:36,618
Splendid! And here are your
I Helped Conquer Britain badges.
17
00:00:38,418 --> 00:00:40,418
Thanks.
18
00:00:41,698 --> 00:00:43,858
OK, so you're gonna have
to get our money back.
19
00:00:43,898 --> 00:00:45,738
Really, why?
20
00:00:45,778 --> 00:00:49,458
My family are in Britain, I'm not
helping to conquer it. Get it back.
21
00:00:49,498 --> 00:00:52,138
I just don't think that's really
the done thing, though.
22
00:00:52,178 --> 00:00:54,218
Quickly. Please. Before we lose him.
23
00:00:56,098 --> 00:00:57,858
OK. Sorry!
24
00:00:57,898 --> 00:00:59,698
Hello. Sorry, hi.
25
00:00:59,738 --> 00:01:02,578
Hello again. We didn't
realise, she's actually from Britain
26
00:01:02,618 --> 00:01:04,538
so we are gonna need to
get that money back.
27
00:01:04,578 --> 00:01:06,178
It's already in the tin.
28
00:01:06,218 --> 00:01:08,378
Yeah, but you can open
the tin, though, surely?
29
00:01:08,418 --> 00:01:10,938
No. You can. Otherwise
you would be able to bank it.
30
00:01:10,978 --> 00:01:13,418
Oh, so you're the fucking
tin expert suddenly, are you?
31
00:01:13,458 --> 00:01:15,658
No, no.
I just... If I could just have it.
32
00:01:15,978 --> 00:01:18,498
Get your bloody hands off my tin.
I'm sure if I can just.
33
00:01:18,538 --> 00:01:20,138
Get back, you little ponce!
34
00:01:20,178 --> 00:01:22,298
All right, calm down.
What's going on?
35
00:01:24,298 --> 00:01:25,978
Agghh! Oh, my God!
36
00:01:26,018 --> 00:01:27,658
Help, help, help.
37
00:01:27,698 --> 00:01:29,258
Not the face.
Help!
38
00:01:29,298 --> 00:01:30,372
Not the face.
39
00:01:30,373 --> 00:01:45,418
40
00:01:47,778 --> 00:01:50,778
It looks like your eye
is sort of growing a plum.
41
00:01:50,818 --> 00:01:52,378
Right, thanks for that, Grumio.
42
00:01:52,418 --> 00:01:54,418
You know,
you should really report that guy.
43
00:01:54,458 --> 00:01:57,338
Well, I would, but
you know, it's a bit embarrassing,
44
00:01:57,378 --> 00:01:59,978
because, you know,
he was sort of older than me.
45
00:02:00,058 --> 00:02:02,898
Why is that embarrassing?
Because he's much older.
46
00:02:03,218 --> 00:02:05,738
How much older?
Well it's hard to say exactly.
47
00:02:06,418 --> 00:02:10,658
Yeah, but probably
around 50 years...
48
00:02:10,698 --> 00:02:12,578
50 years old or 50 years older?
49
00:02:12,618 --> 00:02:14,938
Hmm, yeah, older.
He was in his seventies?
50
00:02:15,498 --> 00:02:18,698
Well, early seventies and he was
very sprightly, to be fair to him.
51
00:02:18,738 --> 00:02:21,058
Oh, that's not cool.
I'm not saying it's cool, am I?
52
00:02:21,098 --> 00:02:23,618
That's older than my nan
and she needs help out the bath.
53
00:02:23,658 --> 00:02:25,298
Don't compare him to your nan, OK.
54
00:02:25,338 --> 00:02:27,778
This guy was a veteran, you know,
he's a trained killer.
55
00:02:27,818 --> 00:02:29,498
Yeah, but trained when?
Like ages ago?
56
00:02:29,538 --> 00:02:32,818
It doesn't matter, does it?
Once you're trained, you're trained.
57
00:02:32,858 --> 00:02:35,578
What did Cynthia make of it?
Well, she did dab my face.
58
00:02:35,618 --> 00:02:38,098
Hey, result! Yeah, but
then she called me a poor lamb.
59
00:02:38,138 --> 00:02:40,138
Oh, no.
I know. Of all the animals.
60
00:02:40,978 --> 00:02:42,978
No-one wants to fuck a lamb.
61
00:02:43,418 --> 00:02:45,938
I'm not sure I'm really cut out
for this. For what?
62
00:02:45,978 --> 00:02:47,698
I don't know, life.
63
00:02:47,738 --> 00:02:49,338
Oh, come on, man, it will pick up.
64
00:02:49,378 --> 00:02:51,578
You know, one door closes
and another door opens.
65
00:02:51,618 --> 00:02:55,738
You reckon? Because right now
it's more like one door gets repeatedly slammed into my nuts.
66
00:02:55,778 --> 00:02:57,778
'Ey up.
67
00:03:07,858 --> 00:03:10,378
So, this is the
dining room/conference area.
68
00:03:10,778 --> 00:03:13,378
Those tiles may look cracked,
but that's deliberate.
69
00:03:13,418 --> 00:03:15,018
That's actually a mosaic.
70
00:03:15,058 --> 00:03:17,058
Ah, landlord. Sorry!
71
00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:20,858
Oh, hello boys, all right?
Yeah, fine. Sorry, who is this?
72
00:03:20,898 --> 00:03:23,298
Oh, yes. Allow me
to introduce you to Irina.
73
00:03:23,498 --> 00:03:25,338
Lovely to meet you.
74
00:03:25,378 --> 00:03:26,978
Hi, hello, I'm Stylax.
75
00:03:27,018 --> 00:03:28,778
And what are those?
76
00:03:28,818 --> 00:03:30,778
Oh, and allow me to introduce
you to bananae.
77
00:03:30,818 --> 00:03:32,418
It's a fruit.
78
00:03:32,458 --> 00:03:35,458
They're very popular back home.
I'm trying to sell them here.
79
00:03:35,498 --> 00:03:37,338
Oh, amazing. Can I try a bit?
80
00:03:37,378 --> 00:03:39,378
Oh sure, of course.
81
00:03:41,618 --> 00:03:43,618
Hmm, that's gorgeous.
82
00:03:47,858 --> 00:03:50,058
Sorry? Sorry?
What the hell is going on?
83
00:03:50,418 --> 00:03:53,938
So, if you'd just like to step
into the bathroom/study for a sec.
84
00:03:55,338 --> 00:03:57,018
Here, keep it.
85
00:03:57,058 --> 00:03:59,058
I have many.
86
00:04:01,538 --> 00:04:02,898
So what happened to your face, then?
87
00:04:02,938 --> 00:04:05,018
He got beaten up by an old man.
Man! Just say man.
88
00:04:05,058 --> 00:04:06,698
Oh, dear. How old are we talking?
89
00:04:06,738 --> 00:04:08,458
Mid-seventies.
It's not important.
90
00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:10,338
Why is that woman in our bathroom?
91
00:04:10,378 --> 00:04:12,378
Ah, well, Irina's from Thrace,
92
00:04:12,778 --> 00:04:15,258
which you may have heard
we've just conquered.
93
00:04:15,298 --> 00:04:17,418
So now they're all flooding
over here.
94
00:04:17,498 --> 00:04:19,098
To our flat?
95
00:04:19,138 --> 00:04:22,898
Yeah, well she just needs
something temporary until her banana business gets going.
96
00:04:22,938 --> 00:04:24,498
I was gonna send her packing,
97
00:04:24,538 --> 00:04:26,738
but then I thought,
'Hang on a minute.
98
00:04:26,778 --> 00:04:30,338
The boys might wanna hold onto her.'
Ah, good thinking.
99
00:04:30,378 --> 00:04:32,018
Right, but for nothing?
100
00:04:32,058 --> 00:04:34,138
Oh, absolutely.
It won't cost you a thing.
101
00:04:34,178 --> 00:04:37,258
No, I mean, we pay the same rent
and have another person living here?
102
00:04:37,298 --> 00:04:38,978
Correct.
So what's in it for us?
103
00:04:39,018 --> 00:04:42,218
Well, she is. You know
what they say about Thracian women?
104
00:04:42,258 --> 00:04:44,138
No.
What do they say?
105
00:04:44,178 --> 00:04:45,778
Dirty.
Really?
106
00:04:45,818 --> 00:04:47,818
Oh, yeah, filthy in the bedroom.
107
00:04:49,018 --> 00:04:52,418
So what do you say? You interested?
Yes, we are. No, thank you.
108
00:04:52,498 --> 00:04:54,498
A quick word if I may.
109
00:04:58,418 --> 00:05:00,338
Where would she even stay?
We don't have a spare room.
110
00:05:00,378 --> 00:05:02,658
No, we don't need one,
because, right, hear me out.
111
00:05:02,698 --> 00:05:04,298
I've thought this through.
But how?
112
00:05:04,338 --> 00:05:06,018
We've only just met her.
113
00:05:06,058 --> 00:05:08,898
Yeah, but I've had this exact
fantasy loads, right?
114
00:05:08,978 --> 00:05:11,698
And what we do is we give her
my room and then I come in with you.
115
00:05:11,738 --> 00:05:13,858
Ah, no. No, no, we are not sharing
a bed.
116
00:05:14,018 --> 00:05:15,738
Yeah, but we won't have to,
not for long.
117
00:05:15,778 --> 00:05:17,738
Because, right,
here's the genius bit.
118
00:05:17,778 --> 00:05:19,778
Oh, I'm glad there's a genius bit.
There is.
119
00:05:19,818 --> 00:05:22,338
After, like, one or two nights
me and her get it on
120
00:05:22,378 --> 00:05:24,098
and then
I get my room back anyway.
121
00:05:24,138 --> 00:05:25,898
And what if she doesn't fancy you?
122
00:05:25,938 --> 00:05:27,658
What? One - she's filthy.
123
00:05:27,698 --> 00:05:29,298
Two - she does.
124
00:05:29,338 --> 00:05:30,938
Even you couldn't miss those vibes.
125
00:05:30,978 --> 00:05:33,938
I know you fancy her. She had you
eating out of her hand, literally.
126
00:05:33,978 --> 00:05:35,858
I'm not cleaning up
after someone else.
127
00:05:35,898 --> 00:05:37,658
I've got enough on my plate as it is.
128
00:05:37,698 --> 00:05:40,298
OK, look, look. Both of you,
stop cock blocking me.
129
00:05:40,338 --> 00:05:42,498
I'm not doing that.
I don't know how to do that.
130
00:05:42,538 --> 00:05:44,378
First, Cynthia's out of bounds.
131
00:05:44,418 --> 00:05:47,178
And now her. It's like
you're a human chastity belt, mate.
132
00:05:47,218 --> 00:05:50,578
You won't rest till you've cut off
my wang and locked me in a dungeon.
133
00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:53,018
OK, that is honestly
not my long-term plan.
134
00:05:53,058 --> 00:05:55,898
I just don't wanna live with
a random fruit seller from Thrace.
135
00:05:55,938 --> 00:05:58,538
Yeah, but, you know, she
is exactly what this place needs.
136
00:05:58,578 --> 00:06:00,578
You know, a woman's touch.
137
00:06:01,058 --> 00:06:02,778
And fruit!
138
00:06:02,818 --> 00:06:05,418
And she's nice.
OK, what are you basing that on?
139
00:06:08,218 --> 00:06:10,218
Irina, sorry.
Yes?
140
00:06:10,298 --> 00:06:12,298
You're nice, right?
Yes, very nice.
141
00:06:13,138 --> 00:06:15,138
Yeah.
142
00:06:16,018 --> 00:06:17,698
OK, well that checks out.
143
00:06:17,738 --> 00:06:19,858
Please let me keep
the dirty Thracian.
144
00:06:20,138 --> 00:06:22,858
I'll look after her.
Come on, man. Throw me a bone.
145
00:06:30,858 --> 00:06:32,498
No, I don't want to,
I don't want to.
146
00:06:32,538 --> 00:06:34,138
I don't like the look of it.
147
00:06:34,178 --> 00:06:36,778
Just try a bit. You're
trying to get it on my bloody face.
148
00:06:36,818 --> 00:06:38,618
Come on, just try a bit.
Stay away from me!
149
00:06:38,858 --> 00:06:40,818
All right, chill out.
I said I don't like it.
150
00:06:40,858 --> 00:06:43,298
Why is it penis-shaped anyway?
You're penis shaped.
151
00:06:43,338 --> 00:06:45,978
What? No, I'm not. You are actually.
I'm just standing up.
152
00:06:46,018 --> 00:06:48,498
An erect penis then.
I do not look like an erect penis.
153
00:06:48,538 --> 00:06:50,738
Oh, I don't know, water boy.
You are a bit of a prick!
154
00:06:50,778 --> 00:06:53,058
Water man. Copier,
what's wrong with your face?
155
00:06:53,098 --> 00:06:55,858
Yes, he claims to have slipped.
I did slip, it was an accident.
156
00:06:55,898 --> 00:06:59,218
Right, that sounds suspiciously
like the sort of thing abused wives say.
157
00:06:59,258 --> 00:07:01,658
Has Shredder been abusing you?
I would never do that.
158
00:07:01,698 --> 00:07:04,018
I clearly wouldn't
be the wife out of me and him, so...
159
00:07:04,058 --> 00:07:06,378
No, you are so the wife.
I'm pretty sure you are, mate.
160
00:07:06,418 --> 00:07:08,938
There's no way I'm the wife.
Yeah, you are, you are, yes.
161
00:07:08,978 --> 00:07:11,298
Put your face away. It's ghastly.
It's worse for me.
162
00:07:11,338 --> 00:07:13,138
Not really, you don't have
to look at it.
163
00:07:13,178 --> 00:07:15,458
Pop it on the table, there's a love.
You want me to?
164
00:07:15,498 --> 00:07:17,858
Pop it. Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop,
pop. Right, OK.
165
00:07:17,898 --> 00:07:20,098
Oh, my good jove, Shredder,
what are you doing?
166
00:07:20,138 --> 00:07:21,898
I'm eating a banana.
It's a new fruit.
167
00:07:21,938 --> 00:07:24,298
Well now,
that is glorious, isn't it?
168
00:07:24,338 --> 00:07:26,858
Can you get hold of one for me?
Hmm, yeah, sure.
169
00:07:29,018 --> 00:07:32,618
Maybe I got you wrong, Shredder.
Maybe you are the wife after all.
170
00:07:33,658 --> 00:07:35,658
Ha.
171
00:07:39,498 --> 00:07:41,098
It'll be like a slumber party.
172
00:07:41,138 --> 00:07:44,138
Having you in my bed is not a party
and I doubt I'll get to slumber.
173
00:07:44,178 --> 00:07:46,178
Of course you will.
I'll help you slumber.
174
00:07:46,218 --> 00:07:47,938
Just think of me as
a big teddy bear.
175
00:07:47,978 --> 00:07:51,098
A big naked teddy bear with herpes.
176
00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:53,458
Oh, one or two nights?
Max, two nights max.
177
00:07:53,898 --> 00:07:57,818
Wow, that's come up a treat, hasn't
it? I'm not sure it's a treat, but...
178
00:07:57,938 --> 00:07:59,578
Well, it is for me.
I feel awful.
179
00:07:59,618 --> 00:08:02,058
It was my fault you got duffed up
in the first place.
180
00:08:02,098 --> 00:08:04,338
He didn't duff me up.
He just caught me by surprise.
181
00:08:04,378 --> 00:08:07,498
Several times. Yeah, they're pretty
stealthy these 90-year-olds?
182
00:08:07,538 --> 00:08:09,138
What? You said 70.
Cynth said 90.
183
00:08:09,178 --> 00:08:11,258
Yeah, well he wasn't.
Yeah, well we don't know.
184
00:08:11,298 --> 00:08:14,098
All right, Mets, leave him alone,
he's a poor lamb.
185
00:08:14,138 --> 00:08:17,578
I'm really not a poor lamb.
I just feel bad that Cynthia missed her audition.
186
00:08:17,618 --> 00:08:20,258
Oh, don't worry, I managed
to re-arrange it for tomorrow.
187
00:08:20,298 --> 00:08:22,058
Oh, cool, I'll come with you.
188
00:08:22,098 --> 00:08:25,018
OK, great. Maybe wait outside
just because of the whole...
189
00:08:25,058 --> 00:08:27,058
Yeah, will do.
190
00:08:28,618 --> 00:08:30,618
Oi, oi.
191
00:08:34,418 --> 00:08:36,738
I guess I could make my move
on her tonight.
192
00:08:37,138 --> 00:08:39,098
Just sleepwalk into my old room
and be like,
193
00:08:39,138 --> 00:08:41,138
'Oh, sorry, Irina, force of habit.'
194
00:08:41,178 --> 00:08:44,738
I don't think force of habit is
a valid excuse for sexual assault.
195
00:08:44,778 --> 00:08:48,738
Yeah. She'll probably just
invite me in anyway. Dirty minx.
196
00:08:53,138 --> 00:08:54,818
Where is she? She's here, right?
197
00:08:54,858 --> 00:08:56,538
Oh, yeah. And then some.
198
00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:58,298
How's my breath?
199
00:08:58,338 --> 00:08:59,898
Ooh! Hot and bananary.
200
00:08:59,938 --> 00:09:01,538
Perfect.
201
00:09:01,578 --> 00:09:03,578
Boys! Here she is.
You are home.
202
00:09:06,378 --> 00:09:08,378
Oh, hi.
203
00:09:08,418 --> 00:09:10,418
Wow.
204
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:12,778
Really?
205
00:09:12,818 --> 00:09:14,538
Hello!
206
00:09:14,578 --> 00:09:16,178
Oh. Yeah.
207
00:09:16,218 --> 00:09:18,258
Erm, what?
This is my husband, Cosmo.
208
00:09:19,698 --> 00:09:21,698
Your... Husband.
Cosmo!
209
00:09:22,738 --> 00:09:24,698
Ah, no.
210
00:09:24,738 --> 00:09:29,938
Great to meet you. We're
going to have such fun time, huh?
211
00:09:39,258 --> 00:09:41,258
Two nights max!
212
00:09:42,098 --> 00:09:43,898
It might take a bit longer.
Oh, you think?
213
00:09:43,938 --> 00:09:45,738
This wasn't part
of your fantasy, then?
214
00:09:45,778 --> 00:09:48,458
The sexy new flatmate has
a massive pony-tailed husband?
215
00:09:48,498 --> 00:09:52,178
Not really. It's bonkers
our landlord never mentioned him, innit?
216
00:09:52,218 --> 00:09:55,138
Really bonkers, Grumio.
Really battleship mental.
217
00:09:55,418 --> 00:09:57,418
Oh, come on, mate. Hurry up.
218
00:10:03,698 --> 00:10:05,698
Oh, I think
this might be the finale.
219
00:10:11,338 --> 00:10:13,338
Hmm, might be doing an encore.
220
00:10:15,458 --> 00:10:17,458
- Oh, oh!
- Ohhhh!
221
00:10:34,830 --> 00:10:38,570
All right?
Pony tail is in there. Oh, God.
222
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,438
I'm next.
Oh, no, swap with me.
223
00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:43,080
No, thanks. Well, yes, thanks,
Grumio. You're my slave.
224
00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:45,240
I didn't sleep,
so please swap with me.
225
00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:47,960
Why didn't you sleep?
Because of you, mate.
226
00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:50,360
What do you mean?
I'm an ideal bedfellow.
227
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,800
Are you?
Yeah.
228
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,040
Do you know you napsterbate?
I do what now?
229
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:58,080
You napsterbate. You sleep wank.
230
00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:01,520
Shut up!
No-one's ever mentioned it before.
231
00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:03,680
No-one's ever hung around
to find out.
232
00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:06,320
Did I get to the end?
233
00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:07,960
I didn't watch.
234
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,000
You did, yeah.
235
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:12,200
Ha, morning!
All right.
236
00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:14,800
I have left anus cloth next to sink.
237
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,840
Right, cool.
What's an anus cloth?
238
00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:19,280
Do you mean my face flannel?
239
00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:22,480
Have a nice day. I'd leave
that for a bit if I were you.
240
00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:26,520
OK, you can go first.
241
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,480
I had no idea there was a husband.
Well, I think you did.
242
00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:34,760
I think you lead us into
a honey trap. How dare you.
243
00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:37,560
I did no such thing.
You said Thracian women were dirty.
244
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:40,040
They are very dirty, but
also very faithful.
245
00:11:40,680 --> 00:11:42,280
That's a terrible combination.
246
00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:44,520
Not for the Thracian blokes.
They bloody love it.
247
00:11:44,560 --> 00:11:46,200
We want the Thracians
out of our flat.
248
00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:48,640
They're noisy and they leave
their fruit everywhere.
249
00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:50,920
Ah, now you're being Thracist.
What? No, I'm not.
250
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,960
No, I'm not having Thracism
in my building.
251
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,320
Those guys have suffered.
They've been invaded.
252
00:11:55,560 --> 00:11:58,280
And now we've been invaded.
Exactly. Serves us right.
253
00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:01,640
The bottom line is, lads, you
wanted her, you keep her. And him.
254
00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:03,960
Yeah, but for how long?
You said this was temporary.
255
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,120
Well, that depends
on their banana business.
256
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:08,360
I mean, if it takes off then
so will they.
257
00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:14,600
Off you go, then.
258
00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:17,960
Ahem! Introducing bananae.
259
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:25,640
The hip new yellow fruit snack
that gives you energy and friends.
260
00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:27,680
Ooh, does it?
Yeah.
261
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:31,880
This hand-held superfood
262
00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:37,600
is this season's must eat
for all thrillseeking execs.
263
00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:39,560
Ask Stylax for them now.
264
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:43,200
Ah. You realise I can't put
out an advertisement as a memo.
265
00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:45,080
It's not an advertisement.
266
00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:46,680
I'm afraid it is
267
00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:49,120
if you're telling people to
ask Stylax for them now.
268
00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:52,600
OK. What about if we put
a question mark at the end?
269
00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:56,840
So it was like, 'Ask Stylax
for them now?'
270
00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:59,960
Oh, yes, all right.
271
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,040
Would you not like to
mention their shape?
272
00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:04,080
Ah... no.
273
00:13:04,680 --> 00:13:06,680
No, you're all right.
274
00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:12,600
We meet at last.
275
00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:14,920
Shredder, do you mind?
What's that?
276
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,080
I don't want you looking
at me when I'm eating it.
277
00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:19,720
Oh, right, shall I?
No, stay. Just turn around.
278
00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:29,120
You have to peel it.
I know, I know you have to peel it.
279
00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:38,560
They're high in energy
and, erm, yellow.
280
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,600
Sssh!
281
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:52,800
Do you like them?
Yes.
282
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,600
Yes, I do.
283
00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:57,760
So, maybe if you order some more in.
284
00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:02,200
Oh, I will. This is exactly what
the workforce need to defeat the mid-afternoon slump.
285
00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:03,840
Oh, big time.
Shredder?
286
00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:05,880
What?
Can you get me a shed load more?
287
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,800
Don't take it personally.
288
00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:15,920
I don't. It's just dispiriting
that so many auditions are fixed.
289
00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:19,280
By fixed you mean someone
else gets the part? Yeah, exactly.
290
00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:21,000
Help our brave boys.
291
00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:23,040
Oh, Marcus, there he is.
Oh, shit.
292
00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:26,880
Him? What? That frail old man there?
He's deceptive sprightly.
293
00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:28,640
Can we just go please
before he sees us?
294
00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:31,880
He won't see us. He's probably
got cataracts if he's in his eighties.
295
00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:34,560
He's late sixties tops.
Help our boys, sweetheart?
296
00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:37,320
I think I've already
helped quite enough, thank you.
297
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:39,560
Do you mind if I ask you
how old you are, please?
298
00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:41,600
I'm too old for you, darling.
I'm 79.
299
00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,920
He's basically 80.
Seventies. He's in his seventies.
300
00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:47,800
Help our brave boys abroad, sir?
Just get out my face, yeah.
301
00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:51,040
Oh, it's you. Oh, that's come up
nice and shiny, hasn't it?
302
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:53,200
Yeah, just piss off, you knob.
303
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:56,000
Oh, so you're a tough guy now,
are you?
304
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:57,960
Ignore him, Marcus, just walk away.
305
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,320
Yeah, that's right, Marcus.
Jog on, mate.
306
00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:09,360
You got something to say, have you?
You little pussy.
307
00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:11,920
Ohhh!
308
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:13,600
What the hell
did you do that for?
309
00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:15,400
He's an old man,
you bloody psychopath.
310
00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:18,040
He called me a pussy and you
were teasing me the whole time.
311
00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:19,680
So it's OK to deck him?
312
00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:23,440
Oh, I'm pathetic for being beaten up
by an old man but I'm a monster for beating him up?
313
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:26,880
What am I supposed to do?
Neither. You're meant to do neither.
314
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,200
Ah, come on.
315
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:37,200
Ah, man, that's even less cool.
I know. It went down really badly.
316
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:40,040
Clearly the only thing worse
than being attacked by an old man
317
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:41,840
is attacking an old man.
318
00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:44,560
Well, so what am I meant to do
if he really wants to fight me?
319
00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:46,280
You just wait it out.
Just wait it out?
320
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:49,120
What, until he dies? Yeah,
that's what you do. You outlive him.
321
00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:52,480
I'm not even sure I would, mate.
He was so fucking sprightly.
322
00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:56,560
Well, tonight why don't
we try sleeping top and tail?
323
00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:58,920
I'm not worried about your
top or your tail.
324
00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:00,960
It's that area there.
Oi!
325
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:03,960
Hello.
Hiya.
326
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:18,880
Is this our flat?
327
00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:20,520
Get off me.
328
00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:23,600
Grumio, why does our flat look
like a community centre?
329
00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:25,720
They invited some more
Thracians round.
330
00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:28,760
They were all right at first,
then it all got a bit much.
331
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,000
I'll say. It's bloody heaving.
332
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:33,600
Stylax, come here.
333
00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:35,640
Come meet my sister Eva.
334
00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:40,000
This is my sister Eva.
335
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,920
Hello.
Hiya. My name's Stylax.
336
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:43,640
Yeah.
337
00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:45,680
And her husband Gregor.
338
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:48,800
Right, yeah.
339
00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:52,800
Sorry, Cosmo. Yeah?
What's this?
340
00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:54,480
We have get-together.
341
00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:56,520
Well, can I...
I've got some food I wanna cook.
342
00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:59,000
No, no. No space in kitchen.
But we have food.
343
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:00,960
What have you got?
344
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:04,840
Banana fritter, banana cakes, a
Thracian dish called galvinta, hmm.
345
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:08,040
What's galvinta?
Secret recipe.
346
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:10,200
Banana-based?
Yes.
347
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:13,200
This my friend Carlotta.
348
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,240
Hey.
Hi. I'm Stylax.
349
00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:17,320
Pleased to meet you.
350
00:17:17,360 --> 00:17:19,040
And her husband Angelos.
351
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,080
Yep, thought so.
352
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:25,600
Mushroom. Mushroom, over here.
353
00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:27,520
What does that mean?
For wrestling.
354
00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:30,120
They keep trying to get me
to wrestle that slippery lad.
355
00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:32,160
Come on, Mushroom,
he's only boy.
356
00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:34,120
And calling me Mushroom.
357
00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:37,000
And this is my cousin Petra.
Her husband passed away recently.
358
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:39,080
OK, cool.
Stylax. Lovely to meet you.
359
00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:41,480
So she cannot touch a man
for one year.
360
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:42,920
Yep, obviously.
361
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:44,960
Mushroom, Mushroom, Mushroom!
362
00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:47,680
- Oh, look.
- Mushroom! Mushroom!
363
00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:50,720
Look at the Mushroom.
Mushroom! Mushroom! Mushroom!
364
00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:58,320
Mushroom! Mushroom! Mushroom!
365
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:21,240
You really should be able
to take a 10-year-old boy, Grumio.
366
00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:24,200
There's no way that beast were 10.
He were at least 12.
367
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:27,800
I can't live like this.
368
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,440
These people are awful.
369
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:32,240
I'm not being Thracist. I just
really want them out of my flat.
370
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:33,960
Yeah, they'll be gone soon.
371
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:37,280
A couple more big banana orders
from work and they're out of here. Two days.
372
00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:39,160
Don't say it. Don't say anything.
373
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:42,200
Don't speak to me ever again.
This is a new fucking low.
374
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,960
Oh, bloody hell. What's he doing?
375
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:52,520
Mate, no! This isn't the toilet.
376
00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:54,560
Hello, Mushroom.
377
00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:59,800
Two days max.
378
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:15,960
Water?
379
00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:19,880
Water?
380
00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:21,920
Oh, fuck!
381
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:23,960
Aghh!
382
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:27,000
The banana jacket
is an accident waiting to happen.
383
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:28,600
Except it's already happened.
384
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:31,040
Right. OK, it's an accident
waiting to happen again.
385
00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:33,320
Can you not just
look where you're going, water boy?
386
00:19:33,360 --> 00:19:35,240
Not if I'm carrying
the jug, no. Water man!
387
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:37,520
These things are a health
and safety nightmare.
388
00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:40,400
He just doesn't like them because
they're shaped like a penis.
389
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:42,560
It is not that actually.
It isn't that actually.
390
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:46,720
I insist you ban them or I will tell
head office you're putting the safety of the staff at risk.
391
00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:48,760
I will.
Fine, have it your way.
392
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:51,960
No, wait.
As of now, I am banning bananae.
393
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:55,200
They are bananned.
Do not bring them into the office.
394
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:57,280
Now get out.
395
00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:59,320
Thank you for your time.
396
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:02,280
But they're so tasty and hip.
397
00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:04,520
The deal is off, Shredder,
I'm banning them.
398
00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:06,880
Immediately after I've had
this last one.
399
00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:16,120
So that's that, then. We're
basically stuck with these fuckers.
400
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,360
Looks like it. But you know,
it'll get better.
401
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,160
Oh, it won't.
Of course it will.
402
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:22,680
After a time we'll adapt
to their ways and customs
403
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:25,320
and maybe even meet
some single Thracian women
404
00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:27,240
who can be filthy and loyal to us.
405
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:29,280
Make way!
406
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,600
Shit, get down.
407
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:33,640
Down.
Halt!
408
00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:36,880
On me.
409
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,280
Does Marcus Gallow live here?
410
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:51,720
What do you want him for?
411
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:54,800
The evil bastard attacked
a veteran, put him in hospital.
412
00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:56,840
Any idea where he is?
413
00:20:57,280 --> 00:20:59,280
Oh, yeah, he's right in here.
414
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:02,120
He's that one with the pony tail.
415
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:04,040
Thank you.
416
00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:06,080
Come on, boys.
417
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:12,000
These big oldies
all come barrelling in,
418
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:15,080
then one of them, like, flung him
about by his pony tail.
419
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:17,400
What was Irina doing?
420
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:19,880
She was sort of squealing,
but not like before.
421
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:23,000
This were less sexy, more angry.
422
00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:24,920
And then they just left?
423
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:27,280
Just packed their bags
and buggered off. Awesome.
424
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:30,200
Is it awesome, though, that
we had an innocent guy beaten up?
425
00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:32,240
Yeah. He was really annoying.
426
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:34,920
I'm not sure that's enough.
Yeah, with all the kissing.
427
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,480
And the wrestling.
Did you see the size of his shits?
428
00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:39,160
They were bigger than me.
429
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:41,040
I suppose it will be nice
to have my bed back
430
00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:43,520
without the herpes-ridden
teddy bear wanking in it.
431
00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:45,560
There you go.
This couldn't be any better.
432
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:47,640
Oh, they didn't leave any bananae,
did they?
433
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:50,880
No, sorry. But I did find
this under the bed.
434
00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:55,920
What the hell is that?
Haven't got a clue.
435
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:58,280
It's worth a try, though, isn't it?
436
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:00,400
Go for it.
437
00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:06,520
Yeah, it's not bad that.
438
00:22:06,619 --> 00:22:09,705
439
00:22:09,755 --> 00:22:14,305
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