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1
00:00:02,188 --> 00:00:04,423
Hi, I'm here to pick up
my prescription prenatals.
2
00:00:04,457 --> 00:00:05,624
Right now, I'm pre-prenatal,
3
00:00:05,658 --> 00:00:07,592
but I hope to be natal very soon.
4
00:00:07,627 --> 00:00:08,560
(Luke) All right, picked up a bunch
5
00:00:08,594 --> 00:00:10,028
of pregnancy tests and these.
6
00:00:10,053 --> 00:00:12,989
Because, come on!
7
00:00:13,339 --> 00:00:14,166
How 'bout this one?
8
00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:16,067
No, that one says "99% accurate."
9
00:00:16,102 --> 00:00:18,203
More like 98... and they
spelled "accurate" wrong,
10
00:00:18,237 --> 00:00:19,871
so I'm out.
11
00:00:19,906 --> 00:00:21,139
How long have you and
your husband been trying?
12
00:00:21,174 --> 00:00:22,407
Oh, he's not my husband.
13
00:00:22,442 --> 00:00:23,608
Lesbian.
14
00:00:23,643 --> 00:00:24,876
Big time.
15
00:00:24,911 --> 00:00:26,111
He's my best friend.
16
00:00:26,145 --> 00:00:27,279
We're doing it together.
17
00:00:27,313 --> 00:00:28,680
I mean, I'm not "doing it" with him,
18
00:00:28,715 --> 00:00:30,516
'cause then I wouldn't
be a very good lesbian.
19
00:00:31,651 --> 00:00:33,785
I'm doing it with a plastic cup.
20
00:00:33,820 --> 00:00:36,877
And what we do is not dishwasher safe.
21
00:00:37,523 --> 00:00:39,291
And I know we may not be everyone's idea
22
00:00:39,325 --> 00:00:40,726
of a traditional family.
23
00:00:41,071 --> 00:00:42,694
What's untraditional about a lesbian
24
00:00:42,729 --> 00:00:44,329
and a fighter pilot having a baby?
25
00:00:44,364 --> 00:00:46,186
He is not a fighter pilot.
26
00:00:46,566 --> 00:00:48,467
But my point is, we're still good people
27
00:00:48,501 --> 00:00:50,202
with solid values.
28
00:00:50,236 --> 00:00:51,803
Thank you.
29
00:00:51,838 --> 00:00:53,271
Um, you didn't pay for that.
30
00:00:53,306 --> 00:00:54,539
Run!
31
00:00:56,142 --> 00:00:59,544
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
32
00:00:59,579 --> 00:01:01,579
Synced and corrected by Chitorafa
www.addic7ed.com
33
00:01:02,849 --> 00:01:05,050
(toilet flushes)
34
00:01:05,084 --> 00:01:07,753
Okay, I peed on it!
35
00:01:07,787 --> 00:01:09,187
A full five seconds on the stick
36
00:01:09,222 --> 00:01:10,655
and three on my hand, which reaffirmed
37
00:01:10,690 --> 00:01:13,191
I am not that type of girl.
38
00:01:13,226 --> 00:01:15,327
That's because you hover.
39
00:01:15,619 --> 00:01:17,796
Who hovers when they pee at home?
40
00:01:18,353 --> 00:01:20,365
I do! Because I live with you.
41
00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:22,100
You pee like you're hula hooping.
42
00:01:24,771 --> 00:01:27,480
Okay, so if the test shows a smiley face,
43
00:01:28,074 --> 00:01:28,907
- we're pregnant.
- Mm-hmm.
44
00:01:28,941 --> 00:01:31,009
Luke, you're ready for this, right?
45
00:01:31,605 --> 00:01:32,619
'Cause I really think it worked this time,
46
00:01:32,645 --> 00:01:34,680
and having a baby is a huge commitment.
47
00:01:34,714 --> 00:01:36,214
Uh, I can make a commitment.
48
00:01:36,249 --> 00:01:39,310
I'm in a pretty serious
relationship with that cup.
49
00:01:40,253 --> 00:01:42,487
Buddy, you never even
let a girl stay the night.
50
00:01:42,522 --> 00:01:44,189
I'm saving my mornings
for someone special.
51
00:01:44,223 --> 00:01:45,490
Like a baby? 'Cause, you know,
52
00:01:45,525 --> 00:01:47,292
they have to be fed every three hours,
53
00:01:47,326 --> 00:01:49,027
and if you don't keep 'em on
a schedule, they get fussy...
54
00:01:49,062 --> 00:01:50,183
So you're a baby?
55
00:01:51,253 --> 00:01:52,597
I'm serious.
56
00:01:52,632 --> 00:01:54,232
I'm committed. We've gone over this.
57
00:01:54,267 --> 00:01:57,202
It's going to be you,
me, and the teeny-tiny.
58
00:01:57,236 --> 00:01:59,571
I promise. And, look...
59
00:01:59,605 --> 00:02:01,638
I got you something...
60
00:02:02,542 --> 00:02:04,642
- (gasps)
- How stupid is this?
61
00:02:04,668 --> 00:02:06,912
So stupid! Ooh!
62
00:02:06,946 --> 00:02:08,413
How dumb are these?
63
00:02:08,448 --> 00:02:09,981
Ohh, so dumb.
64
00:02:10,016 --> 00:02:11,550
I mean, I don't know if this
green works with this blue.
65
00:02:11,584 --> 00:02:12,951
But they're so dumb!
66
00:02:12,985 --> 00:02:14,086
(both laughing)
67
00:02:14,466 --> 00:02:16,054
Oh, I want a stupid baby.
68
00:02:16,089 --> 00:02:17,622
I mean, not stupid stupid.
69
00:02:17,657 --> 00:02:20,025
That's why I'm taking folic acid.
70
00:02:20,059 --> 00:02:21,493
And why I'm having the baby with you.
71
00:02:21,868 --> 00:02:22,694
'Cause you're smarter than you look.
72
00:02:22,729 --> 00:02:25,597
I mean, you knew I was gay before I did.
73
00:02:25,631 --> 00:02:28,166
You wore a top hat to prom.
74
00:02:29,502 --> 00:02:31,103
It matched my tux.
75
00:02:33,172 --> 00:02:34,640
And, sure, I should have known I was gay
76
00:02:34,674 --> 00:02:36,842
when I named my cat Ellen.
77
00:02:39,045 --> 00:02:40,879
But you brought it to my attention.
78
00:02:41,193 --> 00:02:42,557
You're a good person, and I hope our baby
79
00:02:42,583 --> 00:02:43,682
takes after you.
80
00:02:43,716 --> 00:02:45,384
Well, I hope our baby takes after you,
81
00:02:45,418 --> 00:02:47,352
because I have a really
good feeling about this.
82
00:02:47,387 --> 00:02:48,687
Me, too... this one is the one.
83
00:02:48,721 --> 00:02:49,688
(gasps)
84
00:02:49,722 --> 00:02:51,022
(both squealing)
85
00:02:54,709 --> 00:02:55,761
It's not a smiley face,
86
00:02:55,795 --> 00:02:57,896
unless it's a German person smiling.
87
00:02:59,966 --> 00:03:00,999
It's negative.
88
00:03:05,379 --> 00:03:06,471
I'm sorry.
89
00:03:08,449 --> 00:03:09,341
Do you wanna cry
90
00:03:09,375 --> 00:03:11,411
or bury yourself in a project?
91
00:03:12,345 --> 00:03:14,680
I can drive you to The Container Store.
92
00:03:15,882 --> 00:03:16,858
No...
93
00:03:17,843 --> 00:03:18,951
But maybe we could paint that wall
94
00:03:18,985 --> 00:03:20,585
a fun accent color.
95
00:03:21,854 --> 00:03:23,689
There she is. That's my girl.
96
00:03:23,723 --> 00:03:24,923
Damn it!
97
00:03:25,502 --> 00:03:26,338
Hey...
98
00:03:26,851 --> 00:03:28,393
It'll happen when it's meant to.
99
00:03:28,428 --> 00:03:29,928
No, I just got a little of your pee on me.
100
00:03:34,033 --> 00:03:36,168
(upbeat music playing)
101
00:03:36,202 --> 00:03:37,769
I'm sorry, Sissy.
102
00:03:37,804 --> 00:03:40,305
I know how it must have
felt not to get pregnant.
103
00:03:40,340 --> 00:03:42,874
That's how I felt when I got pregnant.
104
00:03:42,909 --> 00:03:45,200
How are you a social worker?
105
00:03:45,678 --> 00:03:47,646
Look, children are a blessing.
106
00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:49,314
But they ruin your life.
107
00:03:49,349 --> 00:03:51,149
(Roy) And I love our daughter.
108
00:03:51,184 --> 00:03:52,451
She's my angel.
109
00:03:52,485 --> 00:03:54,604
I'd lift a burning car to save her.
110
00:03:55,088 --> 00:03:56,488
But I hate her.
111
00:03:57,757 --> 00:04:01,326
She's just not a cool person.
112
00:04:01,353 --> 00:04:03,724
So just try to have a
good time tonight, okay?
113
00:04:03,826 --> 00:04:04,830
Live it up.
114
00:04:04,864 --> 00:04:06,798
Maybe they're right about livin' it up.
115
00:04:06,833 --> 00:04:09,401
I mean, of course I wish I
was pregnant, but I'm not.
116
00:04:09,435 --> 00:04:11,303
Let's have one of our legendary nights.
117
00:04:11,722 --> 00:04:13,205
Remember when we stole your dad's pickup
118
00:04:13,239 --> 00:04:15,273
and we drove to Vegas, but
we just stayed in the car
119
00:04:15,308 --> 00:04:17,376
'cause we were too young to do anything?
120
00:04:17,410 --> 00:04:19,177
We saw stuff out the window, though.
121
00:04:19,212 --> 00:04:20,517
Yeah, we did.
122
00:04:21,172 --> 00:04:22,881
Now, go get me a glass of white wine,
123
00:04:22,915 --> 00:04:24,216
and then let's get crazy.
124
00:04:26,653 --> 00:04:29,421
Hey, can I have a...
chardonnay for my friend,
125
00:04:29,455 --> 00:04:32,391
and, uh, something a
guy would drink for me.
126
00:04:32,425 --> 00:04:34,226
(British accent) Oh,
sorry, I don't work here.
127
00:04:34,260 --> 00:04:35,894
I just got tired of
waiting for the bartender.
128
00:04:35,929 --> 00:04:37,829
So I hopped back here
to mix myself a drink.
129
00:04:37,864 --> 00:04:39,531
So far, I've earned $30.
130
00:04:39,565 --> 00:04:41,400
And then I found out there
was a drinking age here.
131
00:04:41,434 --> 00:04:42,534
Oops! (giggles)
132
00:04:44,037 --> 00:04:45,904
I always wanted to jump behind a bar.
133
00:04:45,938 --> 00:04:47,306
Well, get back here then.
134
00:04:47,340 --> 00:04:48,122
Yeah?
135
00:04:51,044 --> 00:04:52,077
(thud)
136
00:04:55,281 --> 00:04:57,149
Guess I swept you off your feet.
137
00:04:57,550 --> 00:04:59,863
I was gonna say I fell
pretty hard for you.
138
00:05:00,219 --> 00:05:02,721
But instead, I'm asking
myself if I have a concussion.
139
00:05:03,349 --> 00:05:04,256
Are you all right?
140
00:05:04,290 --> 00:05:05,323
Are you British?
141
00:05:05,358 --> 00:05:06,258
How'd you guess?
142
00:05:06,292 --> 00:05:07,926
My thick British accent?
143
00:05:07,961 --> 00:05:08,894
Or my wonky back tooth
144
00:05:08,928 --> 00:05:10,529
running parallel to my gums?
145
00:05:11,564 --> 00:05:12,731
I'm Prudence.
146
00:05:13,204 --> 00:05:14,299
You're pretty, Prudence.
147
00:05:14,334 --> 00:05:15,282
I'm Pruke.
148
00:05:16,135 --> 00:05:17,251
I mean Luke.
149
00:05:17,737 --> 00:05:19,338
I have a concussion!
150
00:05:20,175 --> 00:05:21,506
You're still shaking my hand, Luke.
151
00:05:21,541 --> 00:05:22,841
Uh, I'm sorry.
152
00:05:23,315 --> 00:05:24,862
I didn't say you had to let go.
153
00:05:26,512 --> 00:05:27,746
Uhh, where is Luke with my "drank"?
154
00:05:27,780 --> 00:05:28,981
- Sissy...
- Hmm?
155
00:05:29,015 --> 00:05:31,028
If it's white wine, it's not a "drank."
156
00:05:31,384 --> 00:05:34,020
There he is, with that boob-tender.
157
00:05:36,011 --> 00:05:37,222
Do you want to go out sometime?
158
00:05:38,003 --> 00:05:39,725
I'm on a plane back to England on Monday.
159
00:05:39,759 --> 00:05:41,827
I tend not to stay in
one place for too long.
160
00:05:42,426 --> 00:05:43,862
So how about right now? Let's dance.
161
00:05:43,897 --> 00:05:44,930
Oh, I don't dance.
162
00:05:44,964 --> 00:05:46,598
That's kind of my "thing."
163
00:05:47,270 --> 00:05:49,923
Your "thing" is a thing
you don't actually do?
164
00:05:50,370 --> 00:05:53,105
Well, you'd never
jumped over a bar before,
165
00:05:53,139 --> 00:05:55,158
and that worked out pretty well for you.
166
00:05:55,575 --> 00:05:58,477
167
00:06:02,382 --> 00:06:03,615
Are you dancing?
168
00:06:03,650 --> 00:06:05,617
I think so.
169
00:06:05,651 --> 00:06:07,486
I've tried to get him
to dance with me forever.
170
00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:09,221
I once took him to a
Black Eyed Peas concert,
171
00:06:09,255 --> 00:06:11,439
and he did not "get it started" in there.
172
00:06:11,891 --> 00:06:13,625
I think they look cute together.
173
00:06:13,660 --> 00:06:14,760
Maybe "Haircut" over there
174
00:06:14,794 --> 00:06:16,528
is finally ready for a girlfriend.
175
00:06:16,896 --> 00:06:18,826
Please, he'll never see her again.
176
00:06:21,034 --> 00:06:22,668
Lovely morning, isn't it?
177
00:06:24,564 --> 00:06:25,756
Would you like some tea?
178
00:06:25,782 --> 00:06:26,710
I found your saucers.
179
00:06:26,736 --> 00:06:28,564
I was just looking for some big cups.
180
00:06:29,282 --> 00:06:31,565
Oh, I think you found them.
181
00:06:36,144 --> 00:06:37,937
I'm sorry, you are...
182
00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:40,480
100% nude.
183
00:06:40,515 --> 00:06:41,848
(laughing) So naked.
184
00:06:43,718 --> 00:06:45,285
D-Does Luke know that you're still here?
185
00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:46,353
He asked me to stay!
186
00:06:46,387 --> 00:06:47,387
- No!
- Yeah!
187
00:06:47,422 --> 00:06:48,922
What?! Oh, come on.
188
00:06:48,957 --> 00:06:51,091
It's not like you've never
seen a naked woman before.
189
00:06:51,125 --> 00:06:53,060
I guess I'm just used to earning it.
190
00:06:53,094 --> 00:06:55,195
Or YouPorning it.
191
00:06:55,230 --> 00:06:56,930
How would I do in the lesbian market?
192
00:06:56,965 --> 00:06:58,706
I don't think I've ever been appraised.
193
00:06:59,133 --> 00:07:00,133
(stammering) You'd do good...
194
00:07:00,168 --> 00:07:02,503
Y-You'd do really, really good.
195
00:07:03,605 --> 00:07:04,705
Uh, maybe don't sit!
196
00:07:04,739 --> 00:07:07,382
Whoo hoo, vagina right on the chair.
197
00:07:08,109 --> 00:07:10,177
Are you always this uptight?
198
00:07:10,211 --> 00:07:11,145
Do you know what you need?
199
00:07:11,179 --> 00:07:13,147
I know that you need a robe.
200
00:07:13,181 --> 00:07:15,810
Or maybe three
strategically-placed leaves.
201
00:07:16,284 --> 00:07:17,751
- You need a colonic.
- What?!
202
00:07:17,786 --> 00:07:18,685
- Yes!
- No!
203
00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:19,653
It will loosen you up!
204
00:07:19,687 --> 00:07:21,321
I don't need a colonic!
205
00:07:21,356 --> 00:07:23,056
I eat 30 grams of fiber a day,
206
00:07:23,091 --> 00:07:25,159
and then I knock it down to
25 on weekends and holidays.
207
00:07:25,193 --> 00:07:27,125
I am plenty loose!
208
00:07:27,662 --> 00:07:29,930
I'm sorry. I've offended you.
209
00:07:29,964 --> 00:07:31,765
- Let me give you a hug.
- No, that's okay.
210
00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:33,333
- Oh, I'm hugging you.
- No, please don't come near me.
211
00:07:33,368 --> 00:07:34,868
I don't, I re...
212
00:07:36,437 --> 00:07:40,073
Wow, vagina right on my leg.
213
00:07:40,108 --> 00:07:42,476
I'm starting to think you're
not a very good lesbian.
214
00:07:42,510 --> 00:07:46,213
215
00:07:46,247 --> 00:07:47,481
So this is The Bowl Hole.
216
00:07:47,515 --> 00:07:48,782
My grandfather built it.
217
00:07:48,817 --> 00:07:50,250
He wanted to leave it to my father,
218
00:07:50,285 --> 00:07:52,085
but my father was too
busy leaving my mother,
219
00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:54,354
so now I own the place!
220
00:07:54,389 --> 00:07:56,390
Is bowling popular in England?
221
00:07:56,424 --> 00:07:59,532
No... but getting drunk
and rolling stuff is.
222
00:08:00,361 --> 00:08:01,662
I love this place,
223
00:08:01,696 --> 00:08:04,765
but my real passion is this.
224
00:08:05,322 --> 00:08:06,366
It's my novel.
225
00:08:06,401 --> 00:08:07,935
It's about the last remaining humans
226
00:08:07,969 --> 00:08:09,803
after the android uprising.
227
00:08:09,838 --> 00:08:11,171
You're kidding!
228
00:08:11,206 --> 00:08:12,739
I love sci-fi!
229
00:08:12,774 --> 00:08:14,041
I even keep extra cash on me
230
00:08:14,075 --> 00:08:15,993
for when the machines take over.
231
00:08:16,811 --> 00:08:19,704
You are a magical creature.
232
00:08:19,981 --> 00:08:22,049
You're like a unicorn I'm
allowed to have sex with.
233
00:08:22,083 --> 00:08:24,585
(cell phone jingling)
234
00:08:25,562 --> 00:08:25,919
Hey!
235
00:08:25,954 --> 00:08:27,321
Where are you? I'm at the paint store.
236
00:08:27,355 --> 00:08:29,389
Ohh, sorry, I lost track of time.
237
00:08:29,831 --> 00:08:30,868
Actually, I didn't lose it.
238
00:08:30,894 --> 00:08:32,059
I know where I put it.
239
00:08:33,294 --> 00:08:34,495
But we had a paint date... ooh!
240
00:08:34,529 --> 00:08:36,697
And I picked out our fun accent color.
241
00:08:36,851 --> 00:08:37,913
"Distant Grey."
242
00:08:38,967 --> 00:08:41,268
Sounds fun... but I'm
hanging with Prudence,
243
00:08:41,302 --> 00:08:43,770
and kind of doing "A
Day in the Life of Luke."
244
00:08:43,805 --> 00:08:44,805
Prudence? The nudist?
245
00:08:44,839 --> 00:08:46,006
You're still with her?
246
00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:48,617
Yeah, and we had a pretty amazing day.
247
00:08:49,100 --> 00:08:51,678
We sat at that cafe on
Franklin and people-watched.
248
00:08:51,713 --> 00:08:55,355
We played "Gay or British?"
and she is really good.
249
00:08:56,527 --> 00:08:57,818
But that's our thing.
250
00:08:57,852 --> 00:08:58,952
All right, how 'bout this?
251
00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:00,454
Prudence and I will wake up,
252
00:09:00,488 --> 00:09:02,389
paint the wall before
you even get a chance
253
00:09:02,423 --> 00:09:04,836
to post your morning coffee on Instagram.
254
00:09:05,226 --> 00:09:06,894
So she's spending the night again?
255
00:09:06,928 --> 00:09:08,328
Listen, Lizzy, I'm sorry,
256
00:09:08,363 --> 00:09:09,630
I feel like I'm being rude here.
257
00:09:09,664 --> 00:09:10,831
Well, it is kind of rude.
258
00:09:10,865 --> 00:09:12,499
I mean, you stood me up and...
259
00:09:12,534 --> 00:09:14,342
No, I meant to Prudence. Bye!
260
00:09:16,491 --> 00:09:17,971
So what'll it be?
261
00:09:18,006 --> 00:09:21,141
What color says, "I'm
losing my best friend?"
262
00:09:21,176 --> 00:09:22,176
Swiss Coffee.
263
00:09:23,978 --> 00:09:25,279
- (spraying)
- Prudence...
264
00:09:25,313 --> 00:09:27,147
this is Marcus, professional bowler
265
00:09:27,182 --> 00:09:28,482
and our lane mechanic.
266
00:09:28,516 --> 00:09:30,913
I've never met a
professional athlete before.
267
00:09:30,939 --> 00:09:31,752
Are you quite famous?
268
00:09:31,778 --> 00:09:34,525
I've been called the LeBron of bowling.
269
00:09:35,590 --> 00:09:36,757
The only difference is LeBron makes
270
00:09:36,791 --> 00:09:38,192
100 mil and drives a Bugatti.
271
00:09:38,226 --> 00:09:39,359
I make 20 grand and take the bus.
272
00:09:39,394 --> 00:09:41,024
Just lifestyle choices, really.
273
00:09:41,529 --> 00:09:43,297
I haven't the faintest clue who LeBron is,
274
00:09:43,331 --> 00:09:44,965
but he sounds like a real show-off.
275
00:09:44,999 --> 00:09:46,734
He's an incredible basketball player.
276
00:09:46,768 --> 00:09:49,736
Well, to me, he is just
the Marcus of basketball.
277
00:09:49,771 --> 00:09:51,038
I love her.
278
00:09:51,687 --> 00:09:55,242
Lock it down... or somebody else will.
279
00:09:56,033 --> 00:09:56,877
Later, baby.
280
00:09:58,012 --> 00:09:59,580
Listen, Prudence...
281
00:09:59,986 --> 00:10:01,123
I don't want you to leave.
282
00:10:01,431 --> 00:10:03,083
So I have a proposal.
283
00:10:03,118 --> 00:10:04,385
You about to get down on one knee?
284
00:10:05,072 --> 00:10:06,916
Well, this is gonna seem less good now.
285
00:10:07,728 --> 00:10:09,623
I was gonna say I'll go splitsies
286
00:10:09,657 --> 00:10:11,452
on a new ticket so you can stay longer.
287
00:10:11,478 --> 00:10:13,026
I'm afraid that's not possible.
288
00:10:13,061 --> 00:10:15,599
What am I sayin'? I'll pay two-thirds.
289
00:10:17,006 --> 00:10:18,677
Luke, I need to tell you something.
290
00:10:18,779 --> 00:10:20,734
If you're gonna tell me
you were born a man...
291
00:10:23,671 --> 00:10:25,672
I am oddly okay with that.
292
00:10:26,774 --> 00:10:28,778
No... the thing is,
293
00:10:29,277 --> 00:10:30,505
I'm an alien.
294
00:10:30,745 --> 00:10:33,169
Oh, I knew you were too hot to be human.
295
00:10:33,615 --> 00:10:36,049
No, like an illegal alien.
296
00:10:36,084 --> 00:10:38,252
Though I've often wished
I was an "alien" alien,
297
00:10:38,286 --> 00:10:39,553
because who doesn't want a smaller mouth
298
00:10:39,587 --> 00:10:41,255
that comes out of their bigger mouth?
299
00:10:43,191 --> 00:10:45,926
But I'm just a girl from
dodgy Splitwick, England.
300
00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:47,931
And I have to go back for good, because...
301
00:10:48,830 --> 00:10:50,204
I'm being deported.
302
00:10:50,899 --> 00:10:52,520
Wow, deported?
303
00:10:53,468 --> 00:10:55,002
That's kind of bad-ass.
304
00:10:56,699 --> 00:10:57,913
Also breaks my heart.
305
00:10:57,939 --> 00:10:59,072
I'm sorry.
306
00:10:59,107 --> 00:11:00,874
I wish I'd met you months ago.
307
00:11:01,229 --> 00:11:02,476
Well, not too many months ago,
308
00:11:02,737 --> 00:11:04,144
because I was working on
the beach in the Bahamas,
309
00:11:04,179 --> 00:11:06,479
giving white people black people braids.
310
00:11:07,816 --> 00:11:11,218
What do you think about
spending every moment with me
311
00:11:11,252 --> 00:11:13,232
before you're taken away in handcuffs?
312
00:11:14,380 --> 00:11:16,256
Think it sounds a bit codependent.
313
00:11:16,291 --> 00:11:17,724
Let's do it!
314
00:11:20,374 --> 00:11:21,895
I think I love you.
315
00:11:22,964 --> 00:11:25,032
I might love you, too.
316
00:11:27,950 --> 00:11:29,236
What the hell color is this?
317
00:11:31,239 --> 00:11:32,406
Isn't it perfect?
318
00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:35,876
It's bold, it's warm, it's sexy...
319
00:11:35,910 --> 00:11:37,010
It's too loud.
320
00:11:37,045 --> 00:11:37,978
(whispering) Oh...
321
00:11:38,012 --> 00:11:39,345
Well, isn't it perfect?
322
00:11:39,848 --> 00:11:42,759
It's bold, it's warm, it's sexy...
323
00:11:43,947 --> 00:11:46,086
I'm talking about the paint, Prudence.
324
00:11:46,121 --> 00:11:47,421
Oh, well, I just thought
325
00:11:47,455 --> 00:11:49,022
the color you wanted...
326
00:11:49,057 --> 00:11:50,453
how do I put this...
327
00:11:51,071 --> 00:11:52,259
made me feel lonely.
328
00:11:52,293 --> 00:11:54,528
Like I wanted to hang myself with a belt.
329
00:11:54,562 --> 00:11:57,030
Whereas this adds a much-needed pop!
330
00:11:57,450 --> 00:11:59,900
Distant Grey has a lot of pop.
331
00:11:59,934 --> 00:12:01,068
I agree with her.
332
00:12:01,102 --> 00:12:02,369
(both) Thank you.
333
00:12:02,403 --> 00:12:04,304
Excuse me? I mean, I think he meant...
334
00:12:04,339 --> 00:12:06,173
- I meant Prudence.
- Excuse me?
335
00:12:07,242 --> 00:12:08,494
I get it, Lizzy.
336
00:12:09,144 --> 00:12:11,145
It's not the color you thought you wanted.
337
00:12:11,179 --> 00:12:12,846
I felt that way when my mum
338
00:12:12,881 --> 00:12:14,681
had my fifth and sixth sister.
339
00:12:14,911 --> 00:12:16,116
I wanted a brother.
340
00:12:16,151 --> 00:12:17,384
But eventually, I stopped
341
00:12:17,419 --> 00:12:19,019
pushing my sisters down the stairs,
342
00:12:19,054 --> 00:12:22,156
and now I love one of them so much.
343
00:12:24,659 --> 00:12:26,460
Just leave it up for a week.
344
00:12:26,494 --> 00:12:27,795
And if you don't hang yourself,
345
00:12:27,829 --> 00:12:29,182
there's your color!
346
00:12:30,732 --> 00:12:32,166
This is my accent wall,
347
00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:33,167
and you don't get to paint it
348
00:12:33,201 --> 00:12:34,601
just 'cause you have an accent.
349
00:12:34,636 --> 00:12:36,603
This is my house!
350
00:12:36,638 --> 00:12:39,308
It's our house, and I like it.
351
00:12:39,870 --> 00:12:41,475
Right, I'm gonna let you two have a spat.
352
00:12:41,509 --> 00:12:43,677
This is not a spat, we don't have spats.
353
00:12:43,712 --> 00:12:45,646
Right then, I'll just go get cleaned up.
354
00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:48,148
Don't get too clean. I
like you a little dirty.
355
00:12:49,117 --> 00:12:50,584
Gross.
356
00:12:51,586 --> 00:12:52,753
Dude, what's your problem?
357
00:12:52,787 --> 00:12:54,188
All of a sudden, I have a new roommate
358
00:12:54,222 --> 00:12:56,030
with no taste taking over the place,
359
00:12:56,056 --> 00:12:57,491
and I had to buy vagina coasters
360
00:12:57,525 --> 00:13:00,060
for all the furniture.
361
00:13:00,095 --> 00:13:02,596
Calm down, she goes back
to England on Monday.
362
00:13:02,630 --> 00:13:03,697
Thank God!
363
00:13:03,732 --> 00:13:04,998
"Thank God"? It's been the best
364
00:13:05,033 --> 00:13:06,066
few days of my life.
365
00:13:06,100 --> 00:13:07,101
What is this love affair
366
00:13:07,135 --> 00:13:08,369
you're having with this girl?
367
00:13:08,403 --> 00:13:10,671
Um, a love affair?
368
00:13:10,705 --> 00:13:12,239
Oh, please, you just met her.
369
00:13:12,273 --> 00:13:13,507
You don't love her.
370
00:13:13,541 --> 00:13:15,876
Oh, I'm sorry, are you an expert on love?
371
00:13:15,910 --> 00:13:18,512
Is your very-serious girlfriend
in your bedroom right now?
372
00:13:18,546 --> 00:13:20,180
Okay, you don't have to be bitchy.
373
00:13:20,215 --> 00:13:23,612
Well, that's the bitch
calling the bitch a bitch.
374
00:13:24,018 --> 00:13:25,452
So is that what I am now?
375
00:13:25,487 --> 00:13:27,221
'Cause I thought I was your best friend.
376
00:13:27,255 --> 00:13:28,222
Maybe if you weren't so rigid,
377
00:13:28,256 --> 00:13:29,720
you'd meet somebody, too.
378
00:13:29,746 --> 00:13:31,392
But you don't give people a chance.
379
00:13:31,426 --> 00:13:33,494
There's more to Prudence
than what you've seen.
380
00:13:37,441 --> 00:13:38,766
Where's she hiding it?
381
00:13:47,411 --> 00:13:49,080
Here you go. Enjoy.
382
00:13:49,106 --> 00:13:50,313
Try not to get couscous on the floor,
383
00:13:50,347 --> 00:13:51,714
'cause I have to pick up
every kernel individually,
384
00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:53,729
which I don't mind,
but it's time-consuming.
385
00:13:54,995 --> 00:13:57,729
Lizzy, you look like you
could use a glass of wine.
386
00:13:58,354 --> 00:13:59,948
Oh, my God, I sound like a white woman.
387
00:14:01,024 --> 00:14:02,892
I don't need wine... I'm
fine, never been better.
388
00:14:02,926 --> 00:14:04,193
Sorry for the hideous wall color.
389
00:14:04,228 --> 00:14:05,595
- I think it pops.
- Shut up.
390
00:14:07,898 --> 00:14:10,766
Where's Luke? Not that
you're not super-fun tonight.
391
00:14:10,801 --> 00:14:12,868
I don't know, but I need to talk to him,
392
00:14:12,903 --> 00:14:14,770
and he's not answering any of my calls.
393
00:14:15,117 --> 00:14:16,873
Thank God Prudence is going
back to England tomorrow
394
00:14:16,907 --> 00:14:18,307
with her little sex doll body
395
00:14:18,342 --> 00:14:20,047
and her effortless whimsy,
396
00:14:20,811 --> 00:14:22,778
and I'll finally get Luke back.
397
00:14:22,813 --> 00:14:25,281
Sissy, you sound like a jealous ex-wife.
398
00:14:25,315 --> 00:14:27,183
What? No, I don't, I'm not jealous...
399
00:14:27,217 --> 00:14:29,385
Wait, why did you say ex-wife?
400
00:14:29,658 --> 00:14:31,053
Hey, sorry we're late,
401
00:14:31,088 --> 00:14:32,855
Lizzy, I know I've
been M.I.A., smells like
402
00:14:32,890 --> 00:14:34,457
your couscous came out
great, but we need to talk,
403
00:14:34,491 --> 00:14:36,125
'cause Prudence and I
had a legendary night.
404
00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:37,760
We do need to talk, and
it needs to be in private.
405
00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:39,978
Prudence, is that a ring on your finger?
406
00:14:40,283 --> 00:14:41,797
You did not get engaged.
407
00:14:41,994 --> 00:14:43,399
We did not get engaged.
408
00:14:43,634 --> 00:14:45,034
- We got married!
- You got married?!
409
00:14:45,068 --> 00:14:47,503
- We got married!
- In Vegas!
410
00:14:49,273 --> 00:14:51,874
Great things can happen
when you get out of the car.
411
00:14:51,909 --> 00:14:53,665
Congrats, man, let's have a toast.
412
00:14:53,691 --> 00:14:54,525
Lizzy, you need wine.
413
00:14:54,551 --> 00:14:55,941
No, I don't.
414
00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:57,713
Luke, are you insane?
415
00:14:57,748 --> 00:14:59,148
Seriously, have you lost your mind?
416
00:14:59,183 --> 00:15:00,716
You don't know the first thing about her.
417
00:15:00,751 --> 00:15:02,084
She's definitely a liar.
418
00:15:02,119 --> 00:15:03,802
Hot chicks don't like sci-fi.
419
00:15:04,732 --> 00:15:06,155
Look, I know it's kind of sudden,
420
00:15:06,189 --> 00:15:07,757
but I love Prudence, and when she told me
421
00:15:07,791 --> 00:15:09,892
she was being deported, I
knew I had to lock it down.
422
00:15:09,927 --> 00:15:10,860
Lizzy, have some wine.
423
00:15:10,894 --> 00:15:12,028
I'm not having wine.
424
00:15:12,062 --> 00:15:14,063
See, there's that uptight thing again.
425
00:15:14,097 --> 00:15:16,399
- I'm not uptight.
- (all disagreeing)
426
00:15:16,433 --> 00:15:18,000
I'm pregnant!
427
00:15:20,533 --> 00:15:21,771
Then I'm having her wine.
428
00:15:23,807 --> 00:15:24,774
You're pregnant?
429
00:15:24,808 --> 00:15:25,942
I'm pregnant.
430
00:15:25,976 --> 00:15:27,310
(gasps)
431
00:15:27,344 --> 00:15:29,412
Congrats, Lizzy!
432
00:15:29,446 --> 00:15:31,280
I so admire women who can't find partners
433
00:15:31,315 --> 00:15:33,316
having babies all on their own!
434
00:15:34,418 --> 00:15:36,085
It's not immaculate conception.
435
00:15:36,431 --> 00:15:38,287
She's not having the next Jesus.
436
00:15:39,456 --> 00:15:40,957
How cool would that be, though?
437
00:15:40,991 --> 00:15:42,879
I mean, Jesus? Now that's a nephew.
438
00:15:44,238 --> 00:15:46,596
Prudence, Luke is the father.
439
00:15:46,630 --> 00:15:48,231
No, Lizzy.
440
00:15:48,265 --> 00:15:50,233
Darth Vader's the father.
441
00:15:52,035 --> 00:15:53,202
She's talking about me,
442
00:15:53,237 --> 00:15:54,573
but I love that you know that.
443
00:15:56,106 --> 00:15:57,340
It's your baby?
444
00:15:57,737 --> 00:15:59,617
Yeah, we... we had a plan.
445
00:15:59,643 --> 00:16:01,271
If we didn't have kids by 30,
446
00:16:01,297 --> 00:16:02,875
we were gonna have 'em together.
447
00:16:04,552 --> 00:16:05,470
Oh, my God.
448
00:16:06,617 --> 00:16:08,918
I'm gonna be a dad.
449
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:10,433
Aah!
450
00:16:11,889 --> 00:16:13,156
And I'm a husband.
451
00:16:13,519 --> 00:16:15,191
Aah!
452
00:16:16,593 --> 00:16:18,528
Look at me making my life complete.
453
00:16:18,562 --> 00:16:19,862
Mazel tov, man.
454
00:16:19,897 --> 00:16:21,330
Honey.
455
00:16:21,365 --> 00:16:22,899
You didn't maybe wanna mention
456
00:16:22,933 --> 00:16:25,434
this baby plan to me
before right this minute?
457
00:16:25,791 --> 00:16:26,802
I'm your wife.
458
00:16:26,837 --> 00:16:28,170
I was gonna tell you, but the subject
459
00:16:28,205 --> 00:16:29,372
hadn't come up yet.
460
00:16:29,666 --> 00:16:30,506
Hey, you've know her less than a week.
461
00:16:30,541 --> 00:16:33,176
A Tuesday hasn't even come up yet.
462
00:16:33,210 --> 00:16:34,443
She wants a green card, Luke.
463
00:16:34,478 --> 00:16:36,225
Have you seen any movie ever?
464
00:16:36,647 --> 00:16:39,549
You think I'm G?rard Depardieu-ing him?
465
00:16:40,076 --> 00:16:41,350
I think you already did.
466
00:16:41,644 --> 00:16:43,719
Luke, we're having a baby.
467
00:16:44,097 --> 00:16:44,921
You made a commitment.
468
00:16:44,955 --> 00:16:45,888
I didn't know you were pregnant
469
00:16:45,923 --> 00:16:47,156
until two seconds ago.
470
00:16:47,191 --> 00:16:49,115
And if you'd known she was pregnant?
471
00:16:49,141 --> 00:16:50,159
What then?
472
00:16:50,451 --> 00:16:51,336
I...
473
00:16:53,344 --> 00:16:54,330
I don't know.
474
00:16:56,846 --> 00:16:57,994
That's not great.
475
00:16:59,069 --> 00:17:01,213
Yeah, you make something up, at least.
476
00:17:02,172 --> 00:17:03,806
We'll figure it out.
We'll be one big happy.
477
00:17:03,841 --> 00:17:04,874
No, we won't.
478
00:17:04,908 --> 00:17:06,209
We're having a family, Luke.
479
00:17:06,243 --> 00:17:07,677
And we have to protect
it, we can't just let
480
00:17:07,711 --> 00:17:08,978
any stranger in the door,
481
00:17:09,012 --> 00:17:11,869
even a sexy stranger
who let you in her door.
482
00:17:12,478 --> 00:17:14,984
Look, Lizzy, you don't really know me.
483
00:17:15,181 --> 00:17:16,882
And I am many things.
484
00:17:17,131 --> 00:17:18,621
An open water swimmer,
485
00:17:18,943 --> 00:17:20,156
decent surgeon,
486
00:17:20,529 --> 00:17:22,296
and a part-time techno DJ.
487
00:17:22,860 --> 00:17:25,895
I am no liar, and I am no green card slut.
488
00:17:26,483 --> 00:17:27,196
But you're right,
489
00:17:27,231 --> 00:17:29,232
a baby does trump everything.
490
00:17:29,527 --> 00:17:30,566
Including me, so I'm just
491
00:17:30,601 --> 00:17:31,801
gonna give you both some time
492
00:17:31,835 --> 00:17:33,236
to sort things out.
493
00:17:33,503 --> 00:17:35,332
Prudence, no, just wait...
494
00:17:36,136 --> 00:17:37,840
Nice, Lizzy! Very nice.
495
00:17:41,103 --> 00:17:42,798
Can you believe him?
496
00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:45,081
Let's be honest.
497
00:17:45,115 --> 00:17:47,216
Your baby plan had some holes in it
498
00:17:47,251 --> 00:17:48,492
from the beginning.
499
00:17:49,414 --> 00:17:50,853
She's been waiting to say that.
500
00:17:52,523 --> 00:17:54,157
Said it twice on the car ride over.
501
00:18:01,569 --> 00:18:03,269
Hey, are you okay?
502
00:18:03,271 --> 00:18:04,603
Where were you? Where's Prudence?
503
00:18:04,855 --> 00:18:06,261
(slurring) What do you care?
504
00:18:06,707 --> 00:18:08,121
Are you drunk?
505
00:18:08,699 --> 00:18:09,378
Yeah.
506
00:18:11,910 --> 00:18:12,980
We broke up.
507
00:18:13,447 --> 00:18:15,105
We're never gonna see a Tuesday.
508
00:18:16,817 --> 00:18:18,589
She's on the way to the airport.
509
00:18:19,292 --> 00:18:20,581
You broke up?
510
00:18:21,370 --> 00:18:22,362
But you're married.
511
00:18:22,388 --> 00:18:25,592
Only legally and because
I think she's awesome.
512
00:18:26,677 --> 00:18:27,978
But you're pregnant,
513
00:18:28,004 --> 00:18:29,870
and I made a commitment to you first.
514
00:18:30,231 --> 00:18:31,371
You did, but...
515
00:18:32,233 --> 00:18:34,105
I have to learn to share you.
516
00:18:34,869 --> 00:18:36,738
Okay, and it's hard for me.
517
00:18:36,971 --> 00:18:39,423
'Cause it's just been
the two of us for so long.
518
00:18:40,208 --> 00:18:42,782
(mumbling) And I guess
I got a little jealous.
519
00:18:43,478 --> 00:18:44,517
- What?
- Huh?
520
00:18:47,331 --> 00:18:49,432
Look, I can't expect you
to stay single forever.
521
00:18:49,458 --> 00:18:51,537
I hope I don't stay single forever.
522
00:18:52,011 --> 00:18:53,639
You deserve to be happy.
523
00:18:54,088 --> 00:18:55,621
Even if the person that makes you happy
524
00:18:55,623 --> 00:18:56,803
makes me crazy.
525
00:18:57,792 --> 00:18:59,490
I told her I felt really bad.
526
00:18:59,694 --> 00:19:00,600
You know what she said?
527
00:19:00,626 --> 00:19:01,826
That you need a colonic?
528
00:19:03,253 --> 00:19:05,678
No. She said she thought
529
00:19:05,704 --> 00:19:07,192
what we're doing is amazing.
530
00:19:07,453 --> 00:19:08,473
Oh, really?
531
00:19:08,929 --> 00:19:11,196
I mean, I don't know if
I'd call it amazing, but...
532
00:19:11,339 --> 00:19:12,943
And she said she respected you
533
00:19:12,969 --> 00:19:14,255
because you protect your family
534
00:19:14,281 --> 00:19:15,560
against things you see as a threat.
535
00:19:15,719 --> 00:19:16,669
Even if it's her.
536
00:19:17,277 --> 00:19:18,271
Or androids.
537
00:19:19,580 --> 00:19:20,746
She liked my book.
538
00:19:22,123 --> 00:19:23,986
And she said you're gonna be a great mom.
539
00:19:25,346 --> 00:19:26,885
And then we did shots.
540
00:19:32,068 --> 00:19:34,269
I mean, sure, she's not
the woman of my dreams
541
00:19:34,295 --> 00:19:35,936
for your dreams, but...
542
00:19:37,656 --> 00:19:39,490
I'm not an expert on love.
543
00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:42,988
And maybe you shouldn't
let her get on that plane.
544
00:19:43,014 --> 00:19:44,951
What... what are you talking about?
545
00:19:44,977 --> 00:19:47,130
Oh, my God, have you seen any movie ever?
546
00:19:50,444 --> 00:19:53,179
(snoring)
547
00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:56,947
Excuse me, excuse me, I'm pregnant.
548
00:19:56,973 --> 00:19:58,840
I'm allowed to go where I need to go.
549
00:19:59,220 --> 00:20:00,501
Prudence!
550
00:20:00,527 --> 00:20:02,579
Lizzy! What're you doing here?
551
00:20:02,605 --> 00:20:04,471
I'm locking it down, I'm getting you back.
552
00:20:04,497 --> 00:20:06,399
Why? You don't even like me.
553
00:20:06,590 --> 00:20:07,485
I know.
554
00:20:08,739 --> 00:20:10,372
But Luke loves you.
555
00:20:10,593 --> 00:20:12,092
And I love him.
556
00:20:14,281 --> 00:20:16,615
When I came out, he was the only person
557
00:20:16,641 --> 00:20:18,031
that accepted me for who I was.
558
00:20:18,057 --> 00:20:19,123
I love that about him.
559
00:20:19,292 --> 00:20:20,702
I loved it first, but...
560
00:20:22,210 --> 00:20:23,835
it's my turn to do the accepting.
561
00:20:24,189 --> 00:20:25,898
But you two are having a baby.
562
00:20:25,981 --> 00:20:27,147
And you made it pretty clear
563
00:20:27,173 --> 00:20:28,288
there's no room for me in your house.
564
00:20:28,314 --> 00:20:29,580
I will make room, okay?
565
00:20:29,606 --> 00:20:31,807
A family tree has a lot of branches.
566
00:20:32,081 --> 00:20:33,218
I don't know.
567
00:20:33,283 --> 00:20:34,218
Prudence...
568
00:20:37,117 --> 00:20:38,312
Prudence?
569
00:20:40,778 --> 00:20:42,069
Come be a branch
570
00:20:42,561 --> 00:20:45,421
and make the father of my unborn branch
571
00:20:46,366 --> 00:20:48,843
the happiest branch alive.
572
00:20:52,581 --> 00:20:53,715
Are you sure?
573
00:20:54,607 --> 00:20:55,796
Not really.
574
00:20:58,382 --> 00:21:00,256
Hey, look, I got you something.
575
00:21:01,624 --> 00:21:02,850
Hello, hubby.
576
00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:07,593
Oh, I did the thing that every
guy for every movie ever does.
577
00:21:07,619 --> 00:21:09,619
I went to the airport, I got the girl.
578
00:21:09,644 --> 00:21:11,929
I mean, I got her for
you, but still I felt good.
579
00:21:13,343 --> 00:21:15,748
Everyone clapped, and I
hope it's not weird, but...
580
00:21:15,773 --> 00:21:17,935
I kissed her, cause it's
what the crowd wanted.
581
00:21:19,850 --> 00:21:21,545
How good of a kisser is she?
582
00:21:22,039 --> 00:21:24,656
(mumbling) Pretty good.
It was really, really good.
583
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:26,656
Thank you.
584
00:21:29,079 --> 00:21:31,079
So, how's all this gonna work?
585
00:21:31,104 --> 00:21:32,023
I have no idea.
586
00:21:32,618 --> 00:21:34,203
I've got lots of ideas.
587
00:21:34,228 --> 00:21:35,449
I could be your midwife.
588
00:21:35,474 --> 00:21:36,457
And your nanny.
589
00:21:36,630 --> 00:21:38,473
And with the right
tools, your pediatrician.
590
00:21:38,499 --> 00:21:39,973
That is never gonna...
591
00:21:40,809 --> 00:21:41,998
We'll talk about it.
592
00:21:43,780 --> 00:21:44,898
I love you.
593
00:21:44,924 --> 00:21:46,257
(Both) I love you too.
594
00:21:46,383 --> 00:21:47,234
Excuse me?
595
00:21:49,546 --> 00:21:51,546
Synced and corrected by Chitorafa
www.addic7ed.com
596
00:21:51,596 --> 00:21:56,146
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