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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,900 --> 00:00:03,095 Good morning, Cicely. Chris in the Morning. 2 00:00:03,169 --> 00:00:04,602 And Bernard in the Morning... 3 00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:07,196 bringing you a double shot of Talking Tunes for a misty Monday. 4 00:00:07,273 --> 00:00:10,709 Brother Bernard's up for some R and R following another tough tax season. 5 00:00:10,777 --> 00:00:13,473 I may be looking a little frayed around the edges, a little rough... 6 00:00:13,546 --> 00:00:16,037 but it's nothing some serious trout fishing won't cure. 7 00:00:16,116 --> 00:00:18,277 Amen to that, brother. 8 00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:20,876 No way, look who's here. The Miller boys! 9 00:00:20,954 --> 00:00:22,251 Hey, they look familiar. 10 00:00:22,322 --> 00:00:26,190 Of course they do. It's Tommy and Bobby from West Virginia, man. 11 00:00:26,259 --> 00:00:27,749 You know, the guys that tried to nail me... 12 00:00:27,827 --> 00:00:29,488 with that extradition order. Huh? 13 00:00:29,562 --> 00:00:32,326 The old Miller-Stevens blood feud. Who's he? 14 00:00:32,565 --> 00:00:35,125 Oh, sorry, fellows. This is my brother, Bernard. Your brother? 15 00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:37,999 Yeah, it's a long story. What are you guys doing up here in Alaska? 16 00:00:38,071 --> 00:00:42,007 We heard how you dodged Teddy's warrant. We figured it was time to even the score. 17 00:00:42,075 --> 00:00:44,100 You guys came all the way to Alaska to fight me? 18 00:00:44,177 --> 00:00:47,544 Yep. We're figuring on kicking your ass all the way from here to Florida. 19 00:00:47,614 --> 00:00:50,014 What's it going to be? Fists, conventional weapons, what? 20 00:00:50,083 --> 00:00:53,143 No, listen, Tommy here just served out a three to five on assault... 21 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:55,488 he don't want to do no more time no more. 22 00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:57,045 All right, well, when you want to get down? 23 00:00:58,224 --> 00:00:59,691 It's been a long trip, Stevens. 24 00:00:59,759 --> 00:01:02,057 Right, right. Why don't you take some time, chill out... 25 00:01:02,128 --> 00:01:03,652 you know, take a day, take two, man. 26 00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:06,631 Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me, fellas. 27 00:01:07,634 --> 00:01:09,966 You're not serious about fighting these guys, are you? 28 00:01:10,036 --> 00:01:11,936 Oh, you... 29 00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:15,405 Guys, is it cool if my brother, Bernard, gets in on the action? 30 00:01:15,475 --> 00:01:17,670 What, me? He really kin? 31 00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:18,904 Absolutely. 32 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:22,204 Sure. Why not? 33 00:01:22,315 --> 00:01:24,044 Okay, all right. 34 00:01:27,987 --> 00:01:29,648 This great, huh? 35 00:02:47,734 --> 00:02:48,894 Next! 36 00:02:49,435 --> 00:02:50,595 Doctor. 37 00:02:50,870 --> 00:02:52,337 Boy, I don't believe this. 38 00:02:52,405 --> 00:02:54,635 I'm up till 2:00 a. m. in Yellowknife treating flu victims. 39 00:02:54,707 --> 00:02:57,107 I actually have to go back there. Now it's spread here? 40 00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:59,202 No. No? 41 00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:01,412 What do you mean? These people don't have the flu? 42 00:03:01,481 --> 00:03:02,573 No. 43 00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:05,812 What do they have? They're not patients. 44 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:09,447 What are they? Dancers. 45 00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:12,524 Dancers? I need a new partner. 46 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:17,322 What is this, one of your Indian dance contest things? 47 00:03:17,830 --> 00:03:20,298 Cajun two-step. Cajun? 48 00:03:21,734 --> 00:03:23,258 Like in bayou? 49 00:03:23,469 --> 00:03:27,633 Jambalaya, and rice and beans, and crawfish jumbo, this kind of Cajun? 50 00:03:28,074 --> 00:03:29,939 Came in second last year. 51 00:03:30,009 --> 00:03:32,375 Yeah? Well, what happened to your old partner? 52 00:03:32,445 --> 00:03:35,812 I fired him. He didn't want it enough. 53 00:03:39,285 --> 00:03:41,651 Hello. Hi, can you just hold one sec? 54 00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:44,513 I don't understand something. How come I don't see you dancing here? 55 00:03:45,291 --> 00:03:46,758 I watch them move. 56 00:03:47,694 --> 00:03:49,685 Oh, you watch them move. 57 00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:53,857 Go on. Hi, I'm sorry. This is Dr. Fleischman. 58 00:03:53,933 --> 00:03:54,991 Stop. 59 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:56,968 Aunt Helen, how are you? 60 00:03:57,770 --> 00:04:01,262 Yeah, hold on one second. I'm going to change phones. 61 00:04:01,374 --> 00:04:04,002 Just one second. Here, just hang up when I say. 62 00:04:05,211 --> 00:04:06,371 Next. 63 00:04:07,447 --> 00:04:08,846 Marilyn, you can hang up. 64 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,274 Thank you. Next. 65 00:04:13,886 --> 00:04:16,047 Thank you. Next. 66 00:04:21,694 --> 00:04:23,252 My Uncle Manny passed away. 67 00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:26,090 Oh. 68 00:04:28,134 --> 00:04:29,499 I'm sorry. 69 00:04:34,674 --> 00:04:37,700 So, Millers have been fighting Stevens since the Civil War? 70 00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:39,836 Oh, since before the Civil War, man. 71 00:04:39,912 --> 00:04:43,348 It all started when our great-granddaddy shot a Miller in the neck... 72 00:04:43,416 --> 00:04:45,543 left him with a permanent list starboard. 73 00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:47,449 Yeah, but Chris, that was a long time ago. 74 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:49,784 What happened to "Let bygones be bygones"? 75 00:04:49,856 --> 00:04:51,619 Two sirloins, bloody. 76 00:04:52,558 --> 00:04:56,324 Two large OJs and two orders of spaghetti. 77 00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:58,464 But, Shelly, we didn't order this. 78 00:04:58,531 --> 00:05:02,297 It's on the house. Holling says you boys need to bulk up for the rumble. 79 00:05:02,602 --> 00:05:04,536 Pays to have home field advantage, huh? 80 00:05:04,604 --> 00:05:07,004 Hey, thank the big H for us. Will do. 81 00:05:07,407 --> 00:05:11,036 It's been a long time, Bernard, since these knuckles have laid open a Miller. 82 00:05:11,110 --> 00:05:13,101 You get to miss it like... 83 00:05:13,179 --> 00:05:15,943 Oh, the feel, man, of splitting flesh... 84 00:05:16,015 --> 00:05:18,279 the taste of salty blood in your mouth. 85 00:05:19,018 --> 00:05:20,883 Doesn't that sound a little primitive to you? 86 00:05:21,287 --> 00:05:23,152 Oh, yeah, it's totally primitive. 87 00:05:23,222 --> 00:05:24,655 You know, that's what makes it so great. 88 00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:27,420 It's back to the caves, right brain all the way. 89 00:05:27,627 --> 00:05:30,858 Yeah, but somebody could get hurt. Badly. 90 00:05:31,030 --> 00:05:32,395 Hopefully. 91 00:05:32,465 --> 00:05:36,265 Bernard, to inflict pain, to receive pain... 92 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:40,170 it's all part of the package, man. There's no getting away from human nature. 93 00:05:40,239 --> 00:05:43,037 'Cause you can dress it up anyway you want. Anthropologically... 94 00:05:43,109 --> 00:05:47,944 we're only a nanosecond away from spears, loincloths, and sleeping up in the trees. 95 00:05:48,581 --> 00:05:50,446 I don't write the facts, I just repeat them. 96 00:05:56,489 --> 00:05:58,286 Hey, Dr. Fleischman. How are you doing, Ed? 97 00:06:00,793 --> 00:06:02,317 Are you feeling okay? 98 00:06:02,895 --> 00:06:04,522 My Uncle Manny passed away. 99 00:06:05,765 --> 00:06:06,857 Oh. 100 00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:11,330 We used to spend Sundays together. 101 00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:14,871 He didn't have any kids, so he kind of adopted me. 102 00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:20,945 We would listen to Yankee games and we'd play gin rummy. 103 00:06:21,013 --> 00:06:22,002 It's wild, you know. 104 00:06:22,081 --> 00:06:23,776 It's like I can still picture him... 105 00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:26,182 sitting in front of his window there... 106 00:06:26,252 --> 00:06:27,947 loading his little pipe. 107 00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:31,517 He had this great Amphora Tobacco. 108 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,890 Are you gonna go to the funeral? 109 00:06:35,595 --> 00:06:37,222 No, it's in Florida. 110 00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:38,753 Oh. 111 00:06:39,832 --> 00:06:42,494 I told my Aunt Helen I'd say Kaddish. 112 00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:44,302 What's a Kaddish? 113 00:06:44,370 --> 00:06:46,770 Kaddish is a Jewish prayer for the dead. 114 00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:48,896 Oh. 115 00:06:49,609 --> 00:06:52,009 Only problem is, you need a minyan to say it. 116 00:06:53,679 --> 00:06:54,839 What's a minyan? 117 00:06:56,549 --> 00:07:00,246 It's 10 Jewish males, 13 or older... 118 00:07:00,319 --> 00:07:02,651 or actually, most places now it can be women. 119 00:07:03,489 --> 00:07:05,753 But I'm not exactly sure how Uncle Manny would feel about that. 120 00:07:05,825 --> 00:07:07,417 He was raised Orthodox. 121 00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:10,687 Why do you need a minyan? 122 00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:13,292 I don't know. 123 00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:16,096 You know, nine guys on a field to play baseball... 124 00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:18,330 and 10 Jews in a room to say Kaddish. 125 00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:22,669 I don't know where I'm going to find a minyan. 126 00:07:42,094 --> 00:07:43,652 Is something wrong, Marilyn? 127 00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:47,360 No. Keep walking. 128 00:07:48,334 --> 00:07:49,392 Go. 129 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,431 Stop. 130 00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:55,469 Turn right. 131 00:07:58,544 --> 00:07:59,670 Stop. 132 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:03,605 Marilyn, I- Pick up the pretzels. 133 00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:11,651 You'll do. 134 00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:21,361 Double liver and onions, double western omelet. 135 00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:22,958 Could we get another pitcher, please? 136 00:08:23,035 --> 00:08:26,004 You got it. Want me to clear this lasagna? I'm still working on it. 137 00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:30,008 Cool. Hey, major guns, boys. Thanks. 138 00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:32,169 Hi, Shelly. Hey, babe, where you been? 139 00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:33,906 I've got orders backing up all over. 140 00:08:33,980 --> 00:08:37,541 I've been dancing. Well, moving would be more like it. 141 00:08:37,617 --> 00:08:38,675 What? 142 00:08:38,751 --> 00:08:41,311 Marilyn says I've got natural ability. 143 00:08:41,387 --> 00:08:44,652 Ability for what? Moving. She wants me to practice. 144 00:08:44,724 --> 00:08:45,952 Practice what? 145 00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:50,826 Well, walking, bending, reaching, you know, generally moving. 146 00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:52,853 Why? 147 00:08:52,932 --> 00:08:56,129 I'm gonna be her partner in the Cajun Dancing Contest. 148 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:59,869 Marilyn picked you to be her partner? She did, indeed. 149 00:09:00,573 --> 00:09:03,906 But you don't dance, Holling. I haven't danced, Shelly. 150 00:09:03,976 --> 00:09:07,503 But Marilyn says she's got a knack for discovering hidden talent. 151 00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:11,141 She says I got a streak a mile wide. How did she put it? 152 00:09:11,751 --> 00:09:14,618 "You've got natural two-step greatness. " 153 00:09:14,787 --> 00:09:16,778 Can you imagine that? "Greatness. " 154 00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:20,084 Of course, I've got to practice like the devil... 155 00:09:20,159 --> 00:09:22,753 in order to realize my full potential, she says. 156 00:09:22,828 --> 00:09:24,693 She's got her own method and everything. 157 00:09:24,764 --> 00:09:25,788 Order up! 158 00:09:25,865 --> 00:09:27,127 Can you get that for me, Shelly? 159 00:09:27,199 --> 00:09:30,168 I've got to do some moving, you know, while it's still fresh in my mind. 160 00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,101 Yeah, sure, babe. 161 00:09:45,551 --> 00:09:46,643 Hello? 162 00:09:48,154 --> 00:09:49,917 Fleischman, you here? Yeah. 163 00:09:56,495 --> 00:09:57,894 Hey. Hey. 164 00:09:58,698 --> 00:10:00,757 Can I come in? Yeah, absolutely. 165 00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:02,727 Thanks. 166 00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:04,525 Oh... 167 00:10:04,804 --> 00:10:07,500 I was supposed to reorder your iron, wasn't I? I'm sorry. 168 00:10:07,573 --> 00:10:10,872 No, no, no, Fleischman, that's not why I came here, really. 169 00:10:12,311 --> 00:10:15,542 I heard about your uncle. I'm sorry. 170 00:10:16,148 --> 00:10:17,740 Oh, well, thanks. 171 00:10:19,051 --> 00:10:20,450 What's this? 172 00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:24,315 It's just some old family stuff that I never really unpacked. 173 00:10:25,658 --> 00:10:27,649 This your uncle? Yeah. 174 00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,560 It's me and Manny in front of Yankee Stadium. 175 00:10:32,932 --> 00:10:36,561 Look at you! Now, I didn't know you wore braces. 176 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:37,625 Yeah. 177 00:10:38,270 --> 00:10:39,362 Fifth grade. 178 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:42,029 Wow. 179 00:10:42,108 --> 00:10:43,200 It's my first Yankee game. 180 00:10:44,410 --> 00:10:47,573 Thurman Munson hit a homer off of Jim Palmer to win it in the ninth. 181 00:10:48,247 --> 00:10:51,045 And what about this? Where's this? 182 00:10:51,117 --> 00:10:52,641 That was my bar mitzvah. 183 00:10:52,718 --> 00:10:55,619 It was at my cousin's 'cause they had this big yard out back. 184 00:10:56,622 --> 00:10:57,782 Who's this? 185 00:10:58,391 --> 00:11:00,325 That's Manny and Helen. 186 00:11:03,029 --> 00:11:04,018 Hmm. 187 00:11:04,897 --> 00:11:06,125 What's this? 188 00:11:06,632 --> 00:11:08,793 This was the stuff I wore at my bar mitzvah. 189 00:11:08,868 --> 00:11:12,463 This is a tallith. It's a prayer shawl. It's beautiful, isn't it? 190 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:14,731 This is beautiful. 191 00:11:14,807 --> 00:11:18,038 And this is a yarmulke. This is what you wear on your head, obviously. 192 00:11:19,812 --> 00:11:20,836 Wow. 193 00:11:20,913 --> 00:11:23,404 Yeah, he brought this stuff back from Israel for me. 194 00:11:23,649 --> 00:11:25,981 He helped me memorize my Torah portion. 195 00:11:26,986 --> 00:11:30,649 So, we spent quite a few hours together. I don't remember any of it. 196 00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:36,256 Well, look, Fleischman, if you need anything, call me. 197 00:11:36,929 --> 00:11:38,954 Thanks, O'Connell. Sure. 198 00:11:40,666 --> 00:11:42,099 Good night. 199 00:12:02,588 --> 00:12:05,785 I haven't been this pumped since, I don't know, 12 years, man. 200 00:12:06,125 --> 00:12:08,616 Last time I took on Bobby Miller at the Grove Drive-in. 201 00:12:08,694 --> 00:12:09,683 We were... 202 00:12:09,762 --> 00:12:11,161 It was a draw, you know... 203 00:12:11,330 --> 00:12:14,458 I got a broken nose, I took out his front teeth with an elbow to the jaw. 204 00:12:15,634 --> 00:12:17,067 Chris, this, I... 205 00:12:18,270 --> 00:12:20,135 Get your hand back in that pickle jar. 206 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,469 Is this really necessary? 207 00:12:22,808 --> 00:12:26,608 Nothing like pickle brine to toughen up the skin, man, harden the knuckles. 208 00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:29,876 Listen, when we go in, I want to stay on the left, you know... 209 00:12:29,949 --> 00:12:32,884 because I don't want to crowd my roundhouse. You know what I mean? 210 00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:35,750 Yeah. This is all pretty new to me, so... 211 00:12:35,821 --> 00:12:38,881 What do you mean? I've never been in a fight. 212 00:12:38,958 --> 00:12:40,550 Ha-ha-ha, very funny. 213 00:12:41,060 --> 00:12:42,789 No, really, I haven't. 214 00:12:42,862 --> 00:12:45,422 Come on, man, you're a Stevens. What are you talking about? 215 00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:47,329 Yeah, well, I haven't. 216 00:12:47,466 --> 00:12:50,401 What, you never sent a guy to the hospital before? 217 00:12:50,469 --> 00:12:52,664 Got your own bridgework, all your own teeth, right? 218 00:12:53,038 --> 00:12:54,130 Right. 219 00:12:56,408 --> 00:12:59,343 I don't believe this. Well, it's true. 220 00:12:59,645 --> 00:13:02,944 I can't believe this, man. It's like, Richard Petty's kid saying: 221 00:13:03,015 --> 00:13:05,745 "I've never been behind a wheel of a bored-out Chevy before. " 222 00:13:05,851 --> 00:13:07,785 I'm just not a fighter. 223 00:13:08,053 --> 00:13:11,113 No. No, don't say that, man. 224 00:13:11,190 --> 00:13:13,920 It's probably just a gene that's gone awry, you know. 225 00:13:13,993 --> 00:13:15,654 Chris, I may put you at a disadvantage. 226 00:13:15,728 --> 00:13:17,491 Maybe we should just call this whole thing off. 227 00:13:17,563 --> 00:13:20,657 No. No, no, no, no, no. You're gonna be great, man. You're gonna be fine. 228 00:13:21,267 --> 00:13:24,293 Look, to be honest with you, Chris, those gorillas really scare me. 229 00:13:24,370 --> 00:13:26,861 It's scary the first time, you know. It's like... 230 00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:30,969 That bell rings, though, and your body, man, it just takes over, you know. 231 00:13:31,043 --> 00:13:34,206 Everything slows down like in one of those chopsocky movies, man. 232 00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,441 You see that fist coming at you. 233 00:13:36,515 --> 00:13:39,382 You can count every hair on that knuckle. 234 00:13:40,219 --> 00:13:43,746 And you don't think, your body just takes over, man. You slip a jab. 235 00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:45,953 A couple pops to the head. 236 00:13:46,025 --> 00:13:47,686 And then you finish him off, bam, man! 237 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:50,058 Knee to the groin, down he goes... 238 00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:53,428 eyes rolling back in his head like window shades. 239 00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:55,364 It's the best feeling in the world. 240 00:13:57,102 --> 00:13:58,535 Bernard... 241 00:13:58,604 --> 00:14:02,700 you're not on the horns of a moral dilemma, are you? 242 00:14:03,442 --> 00:14:06,377 No, no, no. I'm just thinking about the pain. 243 00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:08,476 Oh, yeah. 244 00:14:09,315 --> 00:14:11,715 The pain is real. Pain hurts. 245 00:14:12,384 --> 00:14:13,851 But the pain can be good. 246 00:14:14,954 --> 00:14:16,444 I don't know, Chris. 247 00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:18,752 Oh, man, we've been given a gift. 248 00:14:19,658 --> 00:14:22,286 Why do you think that the Millers showed up here when they did? 249 00:14:23,162 --> 00:14:25,653 I mean, they could have appeared at any time, but why now? 250 00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:27,658 Why? 251 00:14:27,733 --> 00:14:31,829 So that I can actually be there when my brother loses his cherry. 252 00:14:33,239 --> 00:14:35,298 As close as we are today... 253 00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:38,172 tomorrow when we come back from that battlefield... 254 00:14:38,244 --> 00:14:41,179 we will be as close as two men can possibly be. 255 00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:45,881 Sharing a bond that can only be forged in the face of imminent disfigurement. 256 00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:50,378 "We few, we happy few, we band of brothers 257 00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:53,525 "For he today that sheds his blood with me 258 00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:55,259 "Shall be my brother. " 259 00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:05,866 Hey, Bernard, Chris. 260 00:15:06,205 --> 00:15:09,003 Well, now that we're finally all here... 261 00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:10,166 Sorry. Sorry. 262 00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:12,142 ...I guess we can begin. 263 00:15:13,445 --> 00:15:18,178 As you all know, Fleischman's Uncle Morty died this week. 264 00:15:18,450 --> 00:15:20,680 Uncle Manny. I believe it was Uncle Manny. 265 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:21,879 Well, whatever. 266 00:15:21,954 --> 00:15:26,482 Anyway, Fleischman wants to say the traditional mourner's prayer... 267 00:15:26,692 --> 00:15:29,286 but he can't do it without nine more Jews. 268 00:15:29,361 --> 00:15:30,419 Why not? 269 00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:33,556 Well, how should I know, Shelly? Do I look like Tevye? 270 00:15:33,899 --> 00:15:34,888 Who? 271 00:15:35,634 --> 00:15:37,192 Fiddler on the Roof. 272 00:15:37,903 --> 00:15:38,927 Oh. 273 00:15:39,004 --> 00:15:40,767 Well, you see, Shelly... 274 00:15:40,839 --> 00:15:44,741 the minyan thing is so that the mourner doesn't go it alone, you know... 275 00:15:44,810 --> 00:15:46,243 in the time of grief. 276 00:15:46,312 --> 00:15:49,110 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, the bottom line is... 277 00:15:49,181 --> 00:15:52,207 Fleischman needs nine more Hebrews on his team. 278 00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:56,516 So I've decided that I will pay $100 plus expenses... 279 00:15:56,588 --> 00:15:58,613 for any bona fide member of the Jewish faith... 280 00:15:58,691 --> 00:16:00,625 who will come here and pray with Fleischman. 281 00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:03,059 That's mighty generous of you, Maurice. 282 00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:07,326 But I doubt you could find 10 Jewish people within 2,000 miles of Cicely. 283 00:16:07,399 --> 00:16:09,890 I guess that's where we come in. That's precisely it. 284 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:12,233 Now open your packets and look in there. 285 00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:15,705 You'll see that I have assigned each of you... 286 00:16:15,774 --> 00:16:18,072 a sector of the map. 287 00:16:18,510 --> 00:16:22,469 If we find only 0.67 worshippers... 288 00:16:22,548 --> 00:16:23,981 within each sector... 289 00:16:24,183 --> 00:16:26,378 we'll come in one over the limit. 290 00:16:26,452 --> 00:16:29,683 I think that's a statistically feasible target, don't you? 291 00:16:29,755 --> 00:16:31,848 How do we know if someone's Jewish? 292 00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:34,154 Now that is a very good question, Shelly. 293 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,289 Anybody got an answer to that? 294 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,861 No? Well... 295 00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:43,927 the tip of the penis used to be a pretty accurate yardstick... 296 00:16:44,036 --> 00:16:48,302 but with the proliferation of circumcision... 297 00:16:48,374 --> 00:16:50,842 it's no longer a valid form of ID. 298 00:16:50,909 --> 00:16:53,969 Now, right here is a picture... 299 00:16:54,046 --> 00:16:57,482 of what used to be considered your typical Jewish person. 300 00:16:57,950 --> 00:17:02,284 But if that stereotype was ever valid, you can see, it no longer is. 301 00:17:02,488 --> 00:17:04,683 Say hi to Issur Danielovitch. 302 00:17:05,457 --> 00:17:08,517 Wow, Hercules was Jewish. 303 00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:13,021 Oh, that's Spartacus, Shelly. Well, actually, Kirk Douglas. 304 00:17:13,432 --> 00:17:14,456 Oh. 305 00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:17,195 Maurice, what about last names, you know? 306 00:17:17,302 --> 00:17:20,362 Schwartz, Cohen, Levine. Seinfeld. 307 00:17:20,806 --> 00:17:23,707 Well, last names would be... 308 00:17:23,842 --> 00:17:27,437 your primary clue. 309 00:17:27,513 --> 00:17:29,708 And I've compiled a list of them right here. 310 00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:33,274 Of course, it's not comprehensive, by any means. 311 00:17:33,519 --> 00:17:35,487 Where are we gonna find these names, Maurice? 312 00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:37,112 I mean, outside the telephone book? 313 00:17:37,189 --> 00:17:40,750 Well, Holling, your Jewish people are a lot like your Chinese people... 314 00:17:40,826 --> 00:17:42,225 only with a sense of humor. 315 00:17:42,294 --> 00:17:46,492 They value family, tradition, education. 316 00:17:46,598 --> 00:17:49,032 They tend to go toward the professions. 317 00:17:49,101 --> 00:17:51,035 When I blasted off into space... 318 00:17:51,103 --> 00:17:55,403 I was very happy to have a lot of Goldfarbs and Finkelsteins at the button. 319 00:17:55,874 --> 00:17:59,776 Although, none of them got into a Mercury capsule. 320 00:18:02,114 --> 00:18:04,378 Now, nobody said this is gonna be easy, people. 321 00:18:04,450 --> 00:18:06,213 You got to get out there and beat the bushes. 322 00:18:06,685 --> 00:18:09,483 But we've got until 1800 hours on Friday. 323 00:18:09,988 --> 00:18:12,548 So let's move. Dismissed. 324 00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:18,761 Can we keep these pens? Certainly, yeah. 325 00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:22,426 Hey, Cicely, KBHR is looking for a few good Jews. 326 00:18:22,501 --> 00:18:25,163 That's right. This is Chris in the Morning with an APB... 327 00:18:25,237 --> 00:18:26,864 for any and all children of Abraham... 328 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:30,966 who can sit shiva with our own Dr. Joel Fleischman, in honor of his Uncle Manny. 329 00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:33,011 If you're Jewish within the sound of my voice... 330 00:18:33,078 --> 00:18:35,638 why don't you give a holler to the KBHR hotline? 331 00:18:35,714 --> 00:18:40,276 Qualified participants will receive a travel allowance, honorary stipend... 332 00:18:40,352 --> 00:18:42,616 plus room and board at The Sourdough Inn... 333 00:18:42,688 --> 00:18:46,590 Cicely's four-star bed and breakfast operated by your hosts, Ron and Erick. 334 00:18:46,658 --> 00:18:50,287 Why don't you drop on by, say Kaddish, and have the Cicely experience? 335 00:18:50,362 --> 00:18:51,590 Hey, Joel! 336 00:18:52,164 --> 00:18:54,029 Hey, Maurice, you got a minute? 337 00:18:54,666 --> 00:18:59,433 Make it quick, Fleischman. I'm right up into my ass in logistics here. 338 00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:01,132 Okay. 339 00:19:02,341 --> 00:19:07,278 I guess you and I have had our differences in the past... 340 00:19:07,546 --> 00:19:09,036 and, I mean, to tell you the truth... 341 00:19:09,114 --> 00:19:13,414 I've always thought of you as some loud-mouthed, unprincipled bigot. 342 00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:16,682 I mean, you've threatened me physically on numerous occasions. 343 00:19:16,755 --> 00:19:19,383 You're making me serve another year of bondage here... 344 00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:21,323 through highly unethical means, I might add. 345 00:19:21,393 --> 00:19:23,520 All right, what the hell is your point, Fleischman? 346 00:19:24,062 --> 00:19:26,326 I guess what I'm trying to say is that... 347 00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:30,358 nothing in our prior relationship... 348 00:19:30,536 --> 00:19:34,302 has prepared me for this gesture. 349 00:19:34,606 --> 00:19:37,473 And I just would like you to know that... 350 00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:39,969 my uncle was... 351 00:19:40,045 --> 00:19:42,070 He was a really important figure in my life... 352 00:19:42,147 --> 00:19:45,878 and this would have meant a lot to him and it means a lot to me. 353 00:19:46,218 --> 00:19:49,813 Fleischman, I'm responsible for bringing you here... 354 00:19:49,888 --> 00:19:53,881 and the way I see it, as long as you keep us reasonably well... 355 00:19:53,959 --> 00:19:57,827 I have a reciprocal obligation to keep you mentally stable. 356 00:19:58,330 --> 00:20:02,562 Yeah, well, I don't think reciprocity has anything to do with it. 357 00:20:02,634 --> 00:20:03,965 I think it's... 358 00:20:05,737 --> 00:20:09,901 I don't know. But it's great and I just want you to know I appreciate it. 359 00:20:11,310 --> 00:20:12,641 You're welcome. 360 00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:24,180 Quick, slow, slow, quick, quick. 361 00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:30,490 Not so heavy. Heavy? What do you mean? 362 00:20:30,696 --> 00:20:33,426 Make the floor your friend. Use it. 363 00:20:33,765 --> 00:20:34,891 Use it? 364 00:20:39,371 --> 00:20:40,565 Right! 365 00:20:48,547 --> 00:20:49,775 Good. 366 00:20:52,351 --> 00:20:55,252 My bladder is about to back up on me. Could I have a minute? 367 00:20:55,821 --> 00:20:57,186 Take five. 368 00:20:59,124 --> 00:21:01,456 Hey, Shelly, this is really fun. 369 00:21:01,893 --> 00:21:04,726 Great, babe. He moves like an elk. 370 00:21:05,330 --> 00:21:07,195 Holling? Uh-huh. 371 00:21:08,333 --> 00:21:10,426 Is that good? Very good. 372 00:21:11,203 --> 00:21:13,398 I always thought H had two left feet. 373 00:21:13,805 --> 00:21:15,830 He's still thinking too much. 374 00:21:16,074 --> 00:21:18,634 He needs to release the dancer inside. 375 00:21:19,811 --> 00:21:21,210 Inside where? 376 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:22,838 Inside himself. 377 00:21:23,682 --> 00:21:24,671 Oh. 378 00:21:24,983 --> 00:21:27,850 Okay, Marilyn, let's do some two-steppin'. Watch this, hon. 379 00:21:30,022 --> 00:21:32,388 Quick, quick. Slow, slow. 380 00:21:32,457 --> 00:21:41,364 Quick, quick. Slow, slow. 381 00:21:41,433 --> 00:21:42,923 That's it. 382 00:21:47,906 --> 00:21:49,396 Yeah, it's open. 383 00:21:51,276 --> 00:21:53,107 Ed, you actually knocked. 384 00:21:53,612 --> 00:21:56,740 Yeah, guess I did. Sorry. 385 00:21:56,815 --> 00:22:00,216 It's all right. Want some dinner? I got SpaghettiO's and Sliced Franks. 386 00:22:00,285 --> 00:22:02,583 No, thank you. Yeah? It's not bad, actually. 387 00:22:02,654 --> 00:22:05,248 I found one. One what? 388 00:22:05,457 --> 00:22:08,187 A Jewish person. You did? Where? 389 00:22:08,260 --> 00:22:10,490 Well, I was driving back from Douglas Junction... 390 00:22:10,562 --> 00:22:12,393 and there he was hitching by the road. 391 00:22:12,464 --> 00:22:14,432 What, his car broke down or something? 392 00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:16,267 No. He was just hitching. 393 00:22:16,468 --> 00:22:18,060 You found a Jew hitching? 394 00:22:18,136 --> 00:22:19,228 Uh-huh. 395 00:22:19,304 --> 00:22:21,101 It's impossible. Jews don't hitch. 396 00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:22,868 Well, he's right outside. Do you want to meet him? 397 00:22:22,941 --> 00:22:23,999 For real? Yeah. 398 00:22:24,076 --> 00:22:26,601 Well, yeah, by all means. Don't make him stand out in the cold. 399 00:22:26,678 --> 00:22:28,908 Come on in, Buck. Buck? 400 00:22:28,980 --> 00:22:30,572 That's his name. 401 00:22:32,217 --> 00:22:35,209 Buck Schoen, I'd like you to meet Dr. Joel Fleischman. 402 00:22:35,287 --> 00:22:36,686 Hey. Shane? 403 00:22:36,988 --> 00:22:38,216 That's right. 404 00:22:38,890 --> 00:22:41,358 That's kind of unusual, isn't it? 405 00:22:41,426 --> 00:22:44,259 It's German. S-c-h-o-e-n. 406 00:22:44,396 --> 00:22:45,488 Oh. 407 00:22:46,398 --> 00:22:48,229 Buck's a lumberjack when he's working. 408 00:22:50,469 --> 00:22:52,528 Would you excuse us just one second? 409 00:22:52,771 --> 00:22:54,534 You can just hang out. You don't have to go outside. 410 00:22:58,510 --> 00:23:02,810 Ed, I hate to look a gift horse in the mouth, but someone's pulling your leg. 411 00:23:03,782 --> 00:23:05,409 What do you mean, Dr. Fleischman? 412 00:23:05,484 --> 00:23:08,112 What I mean is, that man is definitely not a Jew. 413 00:23:08,653 --> 00:23:10,848 He's not? No. Look at him. 414 00:23:10,922 --> 00:23:12,446 Jews don't wear red suspenders. 415 00:23:12,524 --> 00:23:14,992 They don't slobber tobacco in their beard, they don't hitch... 416 00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:16,789 and they definitely don't have names like Buck. 417 00:23:17,429 --> 00:23:19,294 Oh. Well, his real name's Leon. 418 00:23:19,998 --> 00:23:21,056 Yeah? Uh-huh. 419 00:23:22,467 --> 00:23:24,094 Well, we'll see about that. 420 00:23:25,937 --> 00:23:27,063 Buck. 421 00:23:27,339 --> 00:23:31,207 Look, I don't have any doubts or anything and, you know, don't take this in any way... 422 00:23:31,276 --> 00:23:33,710 but I kind of made a promise to my rabbi. 423 00:23:34,413 --> 00:23:37,712 So I was wondering, would you mind reciting the Sh'ma? 424 00:23:42,888 --> 00:23:43,877 Huh. 425 00:23:44,756 --> 00:23:46,246 Where'd you grow up? 426 00:23:46,324 --> 00:23:49,316 Cleveland. Well, Shaker, actually. 427 00:23:49,394 --> 00:23:50,418 Oh, Shaker Heights? 428 00:23:50,495 --> 00:23:53,726 Yeah, I had a lab partner who grew up in Shaker Heights as well. 429 00:23:53,799 --> 00:23:56,290 He said it was like a Midwest version of Scarsdale. 430 00:23:56,701 --> 00:23:58,259 Not my bag. 431 00:23:58,336 --> 00:24:00,236 You said meals come with the package, right? 432 00:24:00,305 --> 00:24:01,602 Oh, yes. Per diem also. 433 00:24:01,673 --> 00:24:02,901 Cash on the barrelhead? 434 00:24:02,974 --> 00:24:06,239 Oh, yeah. We'll stop by Maurice's office right on the way out of town. 435 00:24:07,145 --> 00:24:08,806 Oh, see you later, Dr. Fleischman. 436 00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:09,904 Yeah. 437 00:24:10,916 --> 00:24:12,349 Two down, eight to go. 438 00:24:12,851 --> 00:24:14,751 All right, thanks, Ed. See you later. 439 00:24:15,420 --> 00:24:16,887 See you, Buck. Yeah. 440 00:24:16,955 --> 00:24:21,415 And, hey, Buck. Tonight's the spaghetti feed at The Brick. All you can eat, $2.50. 441 00:24:34,206 --> 00:24:37,903 I love roadwork, man. Rhythmic pounding in the joints. Feels good, huh? 442 00:24:37,976 --> 00:24:40,035 Oh, God. I think I've got blisters. 443 00:24:40,278 --> 00:24:42,838 Hey, how you guys doing? Find everything all right? 444 00:24:42,914 --> 00:24:44,211 Yeah. Yeah. 445 00:24:44,282 --> 00:24:47,683 Good. Beer with breakfast, man, reminds me of home. 446 00:24:49,321 --> 00:24:52,882 There's something about you guys. You look familiar. 447 00:24:53,425 --> 00:24:54,949 Have we met before? 448 00:24:55,460 --> 00:24:58,623 You ever done time at Marion? Nope. 449 00:24:58,697 --> 00:25:01,564 You ever run cigarettes along I-95? 450 00:25:01,733 --> 00:25:02,859 Uh-uh. 451 00:25:05,470 --> 00:25:06,903 I've got it. 452 00:25:06,972 --> 00:25:08,633 I had this reoccurring nightmare... 453 00:25:08,707 --> 00:25:10,971 that I'm being chased by rednecks with sheets. 454 00:25:11,042 --> 00:25:14,739 But I keep running and running and they stay on my tail like MIGs. 455 00:25:14,813 --> 00:25:18,044 You are the guys. You're the two that try to lynch me. 456 00:25:18,950 --> 00:25:22,317 Yeah, all along I thought it was this racial anxiety nightmare... 457 00:25:22,387 --> 00:25:25,720 but it turns out to be a family thing. How about that? 458 00:25:26,491 --> 00:25:27,480 Wow. 459 00:25:29,728 --> 00:25:32,561 Hey, Holling! Another round for my landsmen here, huh? 460 00:25:32,631 --> 00:25:34,360 Coming right up. 461 00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:38,068 Boy, somebody's stoked this morning. 462 00:25:38,136 --> 00:25:39,933 I had a breakthrough last night, Shelly. 463 00:25:40,005 --> 00:25:43,133 I was having trouble with this reverse twirl. 464 00:25:43,208 --> 00:25:45,267 So, Marilyn stops the music... 465 00:25:45,343 --> 00:25:48,710 and she gives me what she calls her "silver dollar move"... 466 00:25:48,780 --> 00:25:50,509 that she'd been saving just in case. 467 00:25:50,916 --> 00:25:53,510 I tell you. One minute with that move... 468 00:25:53,585 --> 00:25:57,214 we are twirling around that room like nobody's business. 469 00:25:57,289 --> 00:25:59,587 Is that a fact? Yes, ma'am. 470 00:25:59,691 --> 00:26:03,718 You know, Shel, when I dance with Marilyn I feel lighter than air. 471 00:26:16,007 --> 00:26:17,975 Hey, Dave? Yes, Shelly. 472 00:26:18,443 --> 00:26:20,673 Can I ask you a question? Sure. 473 00:26:23,048 --> 00:26:25,278 What do you think about the way Holling moves? 474 00:26:25,817 --> 00:26:26,977 The way he moves? 475 00:26:27,085 --> 00:26:28,109 Uh-huh. 476 00:26:28,186 --> 00:26:30,746 Well, I think he moves pretty good. 477 00:26:31,222 --> 00:26:32,849 Really? Yeah. 478 00:26:33,792 --> 00:26:36,317 Do you think he's sexy? Sexy? 479 00:26:37,128 --> 00:26:38,288 Sure. 480 00:26:39,931 --> 00:26:40,920 Hmm. 481 00:26:42,934 --> 00:26:44,333 Say, "Ah. " Ah. 482 00:26:44,402 --> 00:26:46,029 Ah. Ah. 483 00:26:46,538 --> 00:26:47,766 Yeah, well... 484 00:26:48,006 --> 00:26:50,236 Fred, of course, you can't swallow. 485 00:26:50,308 --> 00:26:52,776 Your glands are the size of golf balls. 486 00:26:53,244 --> 00:26:54,575 Are you busy, Joel? 487 00:26:56,147 --> 00:26:59,446 Well, yeah, actually. I have someone here I want you to meet. 488 00:26:59,551 --> 00:27:02,543 This is Nigel Axelrod. He's one of your people. 489 00:27:02,721 --> 00:27:03,710 Hi. 490 00:27:04,089 --> 00:27:05,852 Delighted to meet you, Dr. Fleischman. 491 00:27:05,924 --> 00:27:09,826 Though I regret it has to be under such unfortunate circumstances. 492 00:27:09,894 --> 00:27:13,421 Nigel works for British Petroleum up in Prudhoe. 493 00:27:13,498 --> 00:27:16,467 Chemical engineer. I've worked all over the globe. 494 00:27:16,534 --> 00:27:19,469 Egypt, Venezuela, North Sea. 495 00:27:19,971 --> 00:27:22,371 He calls himself The Wandering Jew. 496 00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:23,964 My little joke. 497 00:27:24,042 --> 00:27:26,772 I found him through a friend in the Audubon Society. 498 00:27:26,845 --> 00:27:29,040 Oh, are you a bird person, doctor? 499 00:27:29,247 --> 00:27:31,613 Oh, no, I'm afraid not. Pity. 500 00:27:31,683 --> 00:27:34,743 And he also has someone else who can pray with you. 501 00:27:35,153 --> 00:27:38,520 Hal Greenbaum, geologist in our Anchorage office. 502 00:27:38,590 --> 00:27:41,058 He's hoping to hitch a ride over in the company chopper. 503 00:27:41,126 --> 00:27:42,218 Really? 504 00:27:42,293 --> 00:27:45,820 Reminds me of when I was in North Yemen a few years back. 505 00:27:45,964 --> 00:27:47,659 My sister-in-law died. 506 00:27:47,732 --> 00:27:49,962 You can imagine my distress. 507 00:27:50,769 --> 00:27:53,704 Yemen is not exactly Tel Aviv. 508 00:27:53,772 --> 00:27:56,605 But I ran into a tribe of nomads... 509 00:27:56,875 --> 00:27:59,105 well, I took the chaps for Bedouins initially. 510 00:27:59,711 --> 00:28:02,509 Turns out they're as kosher as you or I. 511 00:28:02,747 --> 00:28:05,113 It worked out quite well in the end, really. 512 00:28:05,183 --> 00:28:06,810 Well, come on, Nigel, let's go. 513 00:28:06,885 --> 00:28:10,218 I want to show him our Siberian Tits before we lose the light. 514 00:28:10,288 --> 00:28:14,281 Oh, splendid. Well, looking forward to sitting shiva with you, Dr. Fleischman. 515 00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:15,348 Yeah, me, too. 516 00:28:15,427 --> 00:28:18,760 And terribly sorry about your grandfather. Uncle. 517 00:28:19,130 --> 00:28:20,324 Right. 518 00:28:23,101 --> 00:28:25,160 Hey, Bernard. Hey, Maggie. 519 00:28:25,236 --> 00:28:27,227 What do you charge for a trip to Juneau? 520 00:28:27,305 --> 00:28:28,772 Roundtrip? One-way. 521 00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:31,206 One-way. $240. When do you want to go? 522 00:28:31,276 --> 00:28:32,436 Now, actually. 523 00:28:32,510 --> 00:28:34,307 Oh, man, I've got a charter to Skagway. 524 00:28:34,379 --> 00:28:36,609 Skagway's all right. Plane's full. 525 00:28:36,881 --> 00:28:40,214 Look, I'll make it worth your while. Say, $500. 526 00:28:41,286 --> 00:28:43,811 Does this have anything to do with the fight? Uh-huh. 527 00:28:43,955 --> 00:28:47,118 Got a good look at those Miller boys, huh? It's not that. 528 00:28:47,192 --> 00:28:50,355 Although, the prospect of being demolished by those woolly mammoths... 529 00:28:50,428 --> 00:28:52,293 does fill me with dread, paralytic terror, actually. 530 00:28:52,363 --> 00:28:55,560 But the fact is, Maggie, I want to fight them. You do? 531 00:28:55,633 --> 00:28:59,228 I want to disembowel them. I want to see their entrails hanging from the nearest tree. 532 00:28:59,304 --> 00:29:01,169 That's not like you, Bernard. I know. 533 00:29:01,239 --> 00:29:02,672 It all turned around this morning. 534 00:29:02,741 --> 00:29:05,175 Chris and I were working out with some tire irons... 535 00:29:05,243 --> 00:29:08,371 and I let one fly against this oil drum and something clicked. 536 00:29:08,446 --> 00:29:10,437 Suddenly, I wanted to do damage. 537 00:29:10,515 --> 00:29:14,281 I wanted to put these Miller boys in a big open pit and cover them with lime. 538 00:29:14,352 --> 00:29:15,910 Really? 539 00:29:15,987 --> 00:29:18,785 Yeah, you know, I've always deplored sectarian violence... 540 00:29:18,857 --> 00:29:20,916 but it always comes down to the same thing. 541 00:29:20,992 --> 00:29:23,552 My side is better than your side and I hate that. 542 00:29:23,628 --> 00:29:26,290 Yet here I am, a certified public accountant... 543 00:29:26,364 --> 00:29:30,664 ready to sacrifice years of dental work for an ancestral vendetta... 544 00:29:30,735 --> 00:29:33,169 which I knew absolutely nothing about until yesterday. 545 00:29:33,238 --> 00:29:36,503 So you want to get out of town before you violate your principles. Is that it? 546 00:29:36,574 --> 00:29:37,939 Absolutely. 547 00:29:38,109 --> 00:29:41,567 That, and it's fairly obvious the Miller boys will mop the streets with us. 548 00:29:41,646 --> 00:29:44,672 Interesting. Yeah, I'll say. Thanks. 549 00:29:44,749 --> 00:29:45,807 Mmm-hmm. 550 00:29:48,219 --> 00:29:50,119 I found another Jew for you. 551 00:29:51,289 --> 00:29:52,278 Who? 552 00:29:52,357 --> 00:29:54,018 A distant cousin. 553 00:29:54,793 --> 00:29:56,260 He converted. 554 00:29:56,761 --> 00:29:58,023 You're kidding. 555 00:29:58,363 --> 00:30:01,958 He's coming by kayak. Seven down, three to go. 556 00:30:03,601 --> 00:30:04,898 Unbelievable. 557 00:30:05,503 --> 00:30:09,769 Boy, I may actually get to say a Kaddish for Uncle Manny with a minyan. That's... 558 00:30:11,376 --> 00:30:13,173 That's something, you know... 559 00:30:16,648 --> 00:30:18,115 You know what, I don't... 560 00:30:18,183 --> 00:30:19,741 What I mean is... 561 00:30:20,451 --> 00:30:21,475 What? 562 00:30:21,553 --> 00:30:24,113 Why am I praying with these guys? 563 00:30:25,423 --> 00:30:27,084 Because you're Jewish. 564 00:30:27,492 --> 00:30:30,359 Yeah, but, you know, what does that mean? 565 00:30:32,597 --> 00:30:36,761 We hold certain theological-ethical precepts in common? 566 00:30:37,468 --> 00:30:39,561 You know, we know a smattering of Hebrew? 567 00:30:39,938 --> 00:30:42,907 Years ago, our ancestors schlepped around the Negev, but... 568 00:30:44,976 --> 00:30:47,467 I mean, intellectually, I appreciate it. 569 00:30:48,746 --> 00:30:50,213 Emotionally... 570 00:30:52,584 --> 00:30:54,950 I don't know. I just don't know. 571 00:30:59,224 --> 00:31:01,886 Hey, Dave, what time is it? 2:30. 572 00:31:02,227 --> 00:31:04,957 I guess dance practice ran a little over. Yeah. 573 00:31:05,029 --> 00:31:06,621 You go on. I'll lock up. 574 00:31:06,698 --> 00:31:09,292 Okay, good night. Good night. 575 00:31:10,768 --> 00:31:13,396 Hey, Dave. Hey, Holling, night. 576 00:31:14,172 --> 00:31:16,970 Hey, Shelly. A little late, aren't you? 577 00:31:17,041 --> 00:31:18,941 Well, time just flew by. 578 00:31:19,010 --> 00:31:22,275 You know, I never realized how much dancing is like hunting... 579 00:31:22,347 --> 00:31:24,247 until Marilyn pointed it out to me. 580 00:31:24,315 --> 00:31:25,805 She said that when I hunted... 581 00:31:25,884 --> 00:31:30,218 my mind and my body fused and I became the animal I was pursuing. 582 00:31:30,321 --> 00:31:33,222 Well, it's the same thing in dance, as Marilyn says... 583 00:31:33,291 --> 00:31:36,488 except that the object is to become the dance. 584 00:31:36,561 --> 00:31:39,428 Do we still have that full-length mirror in the stockroom? 585 00:31:39,497 --> 00:31:41,658 Why don't you just ask Marilyn? 586 00:31:42,734 --> 00:31:43,894 I beg your pardon? 587 00:31:43,968 --> 00:31:47,062 Marilyn says this, Marilyn says that. 588 00:31:47,138 --> 00:31:49,663 Well, let me tell you something, Holling Vincoeur. 589 00:31:49,741 --> 00:31:52,733 You are not the only person with an animal inside him. 590 00:31:52,810 --> 00:31:53,834 What? 591 00:31:53,912 --> 00:31:55,937 Wayne said I move like a cat. 592 00:31:56,014 --> 00:31:58,539 A big, hungry jungle cat. 593 00:31:58,716 --> 00:32:02,015 But you wouldn't know about that, would you? No! 594 00:32:02,253 --> 00:32:03,982 You're too busy being an elk. 595 00:32:04,055 --> 00:32:06,489 Well, go ahead, Holling. Be an elk. 596 00:32:06,557 --> 00:32:09,185 Be a whole flock of elk for all I care! 597 00:32:51,970 --> 00:32:53,995 You Fleischman? Yeah. 598 00:32:54,739 --> 00:32:56,331 We're your Jews. 599 00:32:56,607 --> 00:32:59,440 You're my what? Minyan rangers. 600 00:32:59,544 --> 00:33:02,741 Have Torah, will travel. What? 601 00:33:02,947 --> 00:33:05,609 You had a death in your family, didn't you, Fleischman? 602 00:33:06,484 --> 00:33:08,384 Well, actually, yeah. 603 00:33:08,453 --> 00:33:11,786 Well, we're here to help you set things straight. I'm Greenbaum. 604 00:33:12,590 --> 00:33:17,186 That's Schoen, Axelrod, Levi... 605 00:33:19,197 --> 00:33:21,461 Strauss, Little Big Macher. 606 00:33:21,566 --> 00:33:22,692 Shalom. 607 00:33:23,167 --> 00:33:24,156 Hi. 608 00:33:24,769 --> 00:33:27,761 Cohen brothers, Ethan, Joel... 609 00:33:28,373 --> 00:33:30,967 and that there is Ah Hautia. 610 00:33:33,511 --> 00:33:34,808 Ethiopian. 611 00:33:36,481 --> 00:33:38,472 Well, you ready to ride? 612 00:33:38,549 --> 00:33:39,914 No. 613 00:33:40,985 --> 00:33:43,112 What I mean is, I can't ride. 614 00:33:43,187 --> 00:33:45,314 New Yorker. Figures. 615 00:33:47,225 --> 00:33:48,783 You don't understand what I... 616 00:33:48,860 --> 00:33:53,160 See, I've never ridden a horse. I'm not even quite sure how to get on. 617 00:33:53,264 --> 00:33:55,960 Come on, now. We're packing strudel, son. 618 00:33:56,034 --> 00:33:58,525 But it won't keep. Let's go. 619 00:33:58,669 --> 00:34:00,398 Like this? All right. Climb on. 620 00:34:00,471 --> 00:34:02,268 Come on. There you go. 621 00:34:02,340 --> 00:34:03,807 Okay, hold on. Yeah. 622 00:34:35,373 --> 00:34:38,774 It's fight day, sports fans. A crisp 45 degrees out. 623 00:34:38,843 --> 00:34:40,868 A glorious morning to kick some butt. 624 00:34:40,945 --> 00:34:44,210 Word of thanks to all you loyal KBHR listeners for your support. 625 00:34:44,282 --> 00:34:46,546 You never know what's going to happen out there... 626 00:34:46,617 --> 00:34:49,677 but that's the beauty of the sport. Thank you, Bernard. 627 00:34:49,754 --> 00:34:53,417 Bone-crusher Bernard and I are hoping to bring back some ears for our walls. 628 00:34:53,491 --> 00:34:54,480 Can I get a witness? 629 00:34:55,660 --> 00:34:59,061 So, before I risk losing my voice to serious injury... 630 00:34:59,130 --> 00:35:01,826 the final KBHR Kaddish countdown on this Erev Shabbat... 631 00:35:01,899 --> 00:35:03,890 t- minus two worshippers and counting. 632 00:35:03,968 --> 00:35:07,995 Edna Hancock found a professor of Counterculture at Nipnuck Junior College. 633 00:35:08,072 --> 00:35:10,597 So we only need two more qualified participants... 634 00:35:10,675 --> 00:35:13,337 and Dr. Joel will have his Kaddish dream come true. 635 00:35:13,411 --> 00:35:15,777 Cicely, come on, let's pull out all the stops. 636 00:35:23,221 --> 00:35:24,483 Marilyn. 637 00:35:25,756 --> 00:35:28,122 We have to talk. Okay. 638 00:35:29,427 --> 00:35:30,689 Well... 639 00:35:33,898 --> 00:35:37,026 I know how much this dance contest means to you... 640 00:35:37,835 --> 00:35:40,861 and what an awesome partner Holling is and all... 641 00:35:41,472 --> 00:35:42,461 and... 642 00:35:45,409 --> 00:35:48,674 what I'm about to say is totally uncool. 643 00:35:49,947 --> 00:35:52,415 But you can't dance with Holling tonight. 644 00:35:54,585 --> 00:35:58,646 If I let Holling out there on that dance floor without me... 645 00:35:59,490 --> 00:36:01,549 it's going to be open season. 646 00:36:01,659 --> 00:36:03,957 I might as well paint a bull's eye on his undies. 647 00:36:04,562 --> 00:36:05,722 Marilyn! 648 00:36:06,497 --> 00:36:08,897 Look, I don't want to get into one of those girl things... 649 00:36:08,966 --> 00:36:11,764 where we end up pulling each other's hair and rolling around on the floor... 650 00:36:11,836 --> 00:36:13,326 but I will if I have to. 651 00:36:15,873 --> 00:36:17,773 Okay. Okay. 652 00:36:20,745 --> 00:36:23,236 Really? I fired him. 653 00:36:23,748 --> 00:36:25,978 You fired Holling? Uh-huh. 654 00:36:26,817 --> 00:36:27,875 Why? 655 00:36:28,286 --> 00:36:30,481 I'm going back to my old partner. 656 00:36:30,988 --> 00:36:33,149 But I thought you said Holling moved like an elk. 657 00:36:33,691 --> 00:36:35,215 He moves nice. 658 00:36:36,427 --> 00:36:38,827 It's his stillness that's not good. 659 00:36:39,764 --> 00:36:40,753 Huh. 660 00:36:43,634 --> 00:36:44,623 Hmm. 661 00:36:47,338 --> 00:36:48,327 Hmm. 662 00:36:53,244 --> 00:36:54,768 Hey, Maurice, can I talk to you? 663 00:36:54,845 --> 00:36:58,542 Now, just hold your cookies, Fleischman. We'll get your two extra Jews... 664 00:36:58,616 --> 00:37:01,744 if I have to call a couple of high-priced lawyers I know in Anchorage... 665 00:37:01,819 --> 00:37:04,982 and get them to fly up here and work on my will or something. 666 00:37:05,056 --> 00:37:08,048 Yeah, that's the thing. I need you to call off the hunt. 667 00:37:08,125 --> 00:37:09,149 What? 668 00:37:09,227 --> 00:37:13,493 I know everyone's gone to all this trouble and I really appreciate it. I just... 669 00:37:13,564 --> 00:37:15,532 It's not happening for me. 670 00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:17,932 Just what the hell is that supposed to mean? 671 00:37:18,002 --> 00:37:22,132 Well, I don't feel like I can say Kaddish with a bunch of hired guns. 672 00:37:22,240 --> 00:37:24,640 Hired guns? These are your people, Fleischman. 673 00:37:24,709 --> 00:37:26,108 I know, Maurice, they're Jews. 674 00:37:26,177 --> 00:37:28,907 But, I don't know them, you know, and they don't know me. It's- 675 00:37:28,980 --> 00:37:32,438 What, you don't like the Jews I got you? What do you need, New Yorkers or what? 676 00:37:32,516 --> 00:37:34,507 No. Look... 677 00:37:35,853 --> 00:37:38,617 The way I feel about my uncle is a very private thing, okay? 678 00:37:38,689 --> 00:37:41,988 So I don't feel like I can open up to a bunch of people I don't know... 679 00:37:42,059 --> 00:37:44,721 no matter who they are. Especially if you're paying them to be here. 680 00:37:45,162 --> 00:37:49,963 Fleischman, you've done some half-assed and stupid things since you've been here... 681 00:37:50,034 --> 00:37:53,299 but I've understood them, well, somewhat anyway. 682 00:37:53,704 --> 00:37:56,571 But this? Boy, you've stumped the band now. 683 00:37:56,641 --> 00:38:00,577 You're in a league of your own, son. This takes the cake. 684 00:38:01,312 --> 00:38:03,075 These Miller boys, they cut easy, when we get inside... 685 00:38:03,147 --> 00:38:04,478 what are you gonna do? Go upstairs. 686 00:38:04,548 --> 00:38:05,640 What are you gonna do? Go upstairs. 687 00:38:05,716 --> 00:38:07,240 All right, I want you to cut him here, slash him here... 688 00:38:07,318 --> 00:38:09,013 blind him with his own blood, then what? 689 00:38:09,086 --> 00:38:10,519 Get behind him, grab him by the plums... 690 00:38:10,588 --> 00:38:11,782 and pull them down as hard as I can. 691 00:38:11,856 --> 00:38:13,448 All right, all right, all right, take these off. 692 00:38:13,924 --> 00:38:15,255 Come on, stay frosty, man. 693 00:38:15,660 --> 00:38:17,628 You ready, Stevens? Yeah, let's go. 694 00:38:17,695 --> 00:38:20,095 All right, Bernard, take jarhead here. Watch out now, he kicks. 695 00:38:20,164 --> 00:38:22,997 Yeah, I have one question before we start here. 696 00:38:23,067 --> 00:38:24,261 Yeah, what's that? 697 00:38:24,335 --> 00:38:26,667 I realize I'm kind of new at this... 698 00:38:26,737 --> 00:38:28,500 but what do we do afterwards? 699 00:38:28,572 --> 00:38:31,803 After? After what? After the fight. 700 00:38:32,009 --> 00:38:34,443 I mean, from what I've been able to observe... 701 00:38:34,512 --> 00:38:37,743 this fight has been a major catalyst to our existence... 702 00:38:37,815 --> 00:38:41,114 and perhaps the thing that's gotten you through the darker days. 703 00:38:41,852 --> 00:38:42,944 Right. Right. 704 00:38:43,020 --> 00:38:46,387 Look, I'm just along for the ride. Totally expendable. 705 00:38:46,857 --> 00:38:50,156 But it seems to me you guys really need each other. 706 00:38:50,494 --> 00:38:52,394 Wait, wait a second, what you're saying is... 707 00:38:52,496 --> 00:38:54,862 our mutual enmity is what defines us? 708 00:38:54,932 --> 00:38:59,164 Exactly. Take it away and what do you have to get up to... 709 00:38:59,603 --> 00:39:00,695 in the morning? 710 00:39:04,241 --> 00:39:07,301 Be like taking away a wall we've been leaning against our whole lives. 711 00:39:08,646 --> 00:39:10,307 Yeah, we'd just fall over. 712 00:39:15,786 --> 00:39:16,775 Huh. 713 00:39:16,954 --> 00:39:18,012 Yeah. 714 00:39:18,089 --> 00:39:20,580 What? We're not fighting? 715 00:39:20,758 --> 00:39:21,986 Get in the car, Tommy. 716 00:39:22,059 --> 00:39:24,857 Look, I can't believe this! Get in the car, Tommy! 717 00:39:27,365 --> 00:39:28,593 Damn it all! 718 00:39:28,666 --> 00:39:31,965 Still hate your guts, Stevens. Same here, baby. 719 00:39:50,755 --> 00:39:52,052 You okay? 720 00:39:52,623 --> 00:39:54,352 Can't help wondering what might have been. 721 00:39:56,260 --> 00:39:59,195 What? You mean the old fist to the face or vice versa? 722 00:39:59,764 --> 00:40:03,564 Yeah. My big chance to feel pain and inflict bodily injury... 723 00:40:03,901 --> 00:40:05,198 and I send them packing. 724 00:40:06,337 --> 00:40:08,328 All right, I'll tell you what I want you to do. 725 00:40:08,406 --> 00:40:11,273 I want you to take one crack, right here, best you got. 726 00:40:14,612 --> 00:40:16,045 Nah, let's go eat. 727 00:40:16,981 --> 00:40:18,175 All right. 728 00:40:42,006 --> 00:40:43,803 Excellent gumbo, Ed. 729 00:40:43,874 --> 00:40:45,774 It's an old Tlingit recipe. 730 00:40:46,010 --> 00:40:49,207 I've got to have some more of that blackened coho. 731 00:40:51,482 --> 00:40:54,883 Let's hear it for Couple 11, Tom and Mary Barker. Barker. 732 00:40:58,055 --> 00:41:00,250 Our next finalists, Couple 24, 733 00:41:00,324 --> 00:41:03,350 Marilyn Whirlwind and Robert Livingston. 734 00:42:06,724 --> 00:42:08,191 He's pretty short. 735 00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:11,152 Good stillness, though. 736 00:42:40,291 --> 00:42:43,454 First thing I would like to say is, I just would like to thank all of you... 737 00:42:43,527 --> 00:42:45,859 for trying to get me a minyan this week... 738 00:42:47,431 --> 00:42:49,296 and even though I pulled the plug... 739 00:42:49,433 --> 00:42:53,870 I just would really like you to know that I am incredibly grateful. 740 00:42:54,238 --> 00:42:57,036 Which brings me to the second thing I would like to say, which is... 741 00:42:57,107 --> 00:42:59,974 I'm no rabbi, but it seems to me... 742 00:43:00,044 --> 00:43:02,774 that the purpose of saying a Kaddish is... 743 00:43:03,814 --> 00:43:06,078 to be with your community. 744 00:43:06,216 --> 00:43:10,516 And what I realized this week is that... 745 00:43:14,725 --> 00:43:16,283 well, you're my community. 746 00:43:19,229 --> 00:43:21,220 So if you'll just bear with me. 747 00:43:34,144 --> 00:43:35,202 Ed? 748 00:43:35,279 --> 00:43:37,747 You want we should all wear beanies, Dr. Fleischman? 749 00:43:38,082 --> 00:43:40,209 No, that's not necessary. 750 00:43:41,719 --> 00:43:44,688 I'll just say the prayer and then we can all head over to The Brick. 751 00:43:44,755 --> 00:43:48,589 Holling has graciously arranged to have a cold cut buffet and... 752 00:43:50,194 --> 00:43:51,491 we can all have a little nosh. 753 00:43:53,330 --> 00:43:55,389 None of you knew my Uncle Manny. 754 00:43:57,368 --> 00:44:00,929 I think the only thing that's important to say is that... 755 00:44:02,906 --> 00:44:04,601 he was a good man. 756 00:44:05,309 --> 00:44:06,867 I loved him very much. 757 00:44:10,247 --> 00:44:12,841 Maybe when I say the Kaddish, you can think about someone... 758 00:44:12,916 --> 00:44:14,816 in your own life who you loved... 759 00:44:14,885 --> 00:44:18,946 and, you know, feel free to say a prayer in your own way if you'd like. 760 00:44:18,996 --> 00:44:23,546 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 59437

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