Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,900 --> 00:00:03,095
Good morning, Cicely.
Chris in the Morning.
2
00:00:03,169 --> 00:00:04,602
And Bernard in the Morning...
3
00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:07,196
bringing you a double shot of
Talking Tunes for a misty Monday.
4
00:00:07,273 --> 00:00:10,709
Brother Bernard's up for some R and
R following another tough tax season.
5
00:00:10,777 --> 00:00:13,473
I may be looking a little frayed
around the edges, a little rough...
6
00:00:13,546 --> 00:00:16,037
but it's nothing some serious
trout fishing won't cure.
7
00:00:16,116 --> 00:00:18,277
Amen to that, brother.
8
00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:20,876
No way, look who's here.
The Miller boys!
9
00:00:20,954 --> 00:00:22,251
Hey, they look familiar.
10
00:00:22,322 --> 00:00:26,190
Of course they do. It's Tommy
and Bobby from West Virginia, man.
11
00:00:26,259 --> 00:00:27,749
You know, the guys
that tried to nail me...
12
00:00:27,827 --> 00:00:29,488
with that extradition order.
Huh?
13
00:00:29,562 --> 00:00:32,326
The old Miller-Stevens
blood feud. Who's he?
14
00:00:32,565 --> 00:00:35,125
Oh, sorry, fellows. This is my
brother, Bernard. Your brother?
15
00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:37,999
Yeah, it's a long story. What are
you guys doing up here in Alaska?
16
00:00:38,071 --> 00:00:42,007
We heard how you dodged Teddy's warrant.
We figured it was time to even the score.
17
00:00:42,075 --> 00:00:44,100
You guys came all the way
to Alaska to fight me?
18
00:00:44,177 --> 00:00:47,544
Yep. We're figuring on kicking your
ass all the way from here to Florida.
19
00:00:47,614 --> 00:00:50,014
What's it going to be? Fists,
conventional weapons, what?
20
00:00:50,083 --> 00:00:53,143
No, listen, Tommy here just served
out a three to five on assault...
21
00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:55,488
he don't want to do
no more time no more.
22
00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:57,045
All right, well,
when you want to get down?
23
00:00:58,224 --> 00:00:59,691
It's been a long trip,
Stevens.
24
00:00:59,759 --> 00:01:02,057
Right, right. Why don't you
take some time, chill out...
25
00:01:02,128 --> 00:01:03,652
you know, take a day,
take two, man.
26
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:06,631
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Excuse me, fellas.
27
00:01:07,634 --> 00:01:09,966
You're not serious about
fighting these guys, are you?
28
00:01:10,036 --> 00:01:11,936
Oh, you...
29
00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:15,405
Guys, is it cool if my brother,
Bernard, gets in on the action?
30
00:01:15,475 --> 00:01:17,670
What, me?
He really kin?
31
00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:18,904
Absolutely.
32
00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:22,204
Sure.
Why not?
33
00:01:22,315 --> 00:01:24,044
Okay, all right.
34
00:01:27,987 --> 00:01:29,648
This great, huh?
35
00:02:47,734 --> 00:02:48,894
Next!
36
00:02:49,435 --> 00:02:50,595
Doctor.
37
00:02:50,870 --> 00:02:52,337
Boy, I don't believe this.
38
00:02:52,405 --> 00:02:54,635
I'm up till 2:00 a. m. in
Yellowknife treating flu victims.
39
00:02:54,707 --> 00:02:57,107
I actually have to go back
there. Now it's spread here?
40
00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:59,202
No.
No?
41
00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:01,412
What do you mean? These
people don't have the flu?
42
00:03:01,481 --> 00:03:02,573
No.
43
00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:05,812
What do they have?
They're not patients.
44
00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:09,447
What are they?
Dancers.
45
00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:12,524
Dancers?
I need a new partner.
46
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:17,322
What is this, one of your
Indian dance contest things?
47
00:03:17,830 --> 00:03:20,298
Cajun two-step.
Cajun?
48
00:03:21,734 --> 00:03:23,258
Like in bayou?
49
00:03:23,469 --> 00:03:27,633
Jambalaya, and rice and beans, and
crawfish jumbo, this kind of Cajun?
50
00:03:28,074 --> 00:03:29,939
Came in second last year.
51
00:03:30,009 --> 00:03:32,375
Yeah? Well, what happened
to your old partner?
52
00:03:32,445 --> 00:03:35,812
I fired him.
He didn't want it enough.
53
00:03:39,285 --> 00:03:41,651
Hello. Hi, can you
just hold one sec?
54
00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:44,513
I don't understand something. How
come I don't see you dancing here?
55
00:03:45,291 --> 00:03:46,758
I watch them move.
56
00:03:47,694 --> 00:03:49,685
Oh, you watch them move.
57
00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:53,857
Go on. Hi, I'm sorry.
This is Dr. Fleischman.
58
00:03:53,933 --> 00:03:54,991
Stop.
59
00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:56,968
Aunt Helen, how are you?
60
00:03:57,770 --> 00:04:01,262
Yeah, hold on one second.
I'm going to change phones.
61
00:04:01,374 --> 00:04:04,002
Just one second.
Here, just hang up when I say.
62
00:04:05,211 --> 00:04:06,371
Next.
63
00:04:07,447 --> 00:04:08,846
Marilyn, you can hang up.
64
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,274
Thank you. Next.
65
00:04:13,886 --> 00:04:16,047
Thank you. Next.
66
00:04:21,694 --> 00:04:23,252
My Uncle Manny passed away.
67
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:26,090
Oh.
68
00:04:28,134 --> 00:04:29,499
I'm sorry.
69
00:04:34,674 --> 00:04:37,700
So, Millers have been fighting
Stevens since the Civil War?
70
00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:39,836
Oh, since before
the Civil War, man.
71
00:04:39,912 --> 00:04:43,348
It all started when our great-granddaddy
shot a Miller in the neck...
72
00:04:43,416 --> 00:04:45,543
left him with a permanent
list starboard.
73
00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:47,449
Yeah, but Chris,
that was a long time ago.
74
00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:49,784
What happened to
"Let bygones be bygones"?
75
00:04:49,856 --> 00:04:51,619
Two sirloins, bloody.
76
00:04:52,558 --> 00:04:56,324
Two large OJs
and two orders of spaghetti.
77
00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:58,464
But, Shelly,
we didn't order this.
78
00:04:58,531 --> 00:05:02,297
It's on the house. Holling says you
boys need to bulk up for the rumble.
79
00:05:02,602 --> 00:05:04,536
Pays to have
home field advantage, huh?
80
00:05:04,604 --> 00:05:07,004
Hey, thank the big H for us.
Will do.
81
00:05:07,407 --> 00:05:11,036
It's been a long time, Bernard, since
these knuckles have laid open a Miller.
82
00:05:11,110 --> 00:05:13,101
You get to miss it like...
83
00:05:13,179 --> 00:05:15,943
Oh, the feel, man,
of splitting flesh...
84
00:05:16,015 --> 00:05:18,279
the taste of salty blood
in your mouth.
85
00:05:19,018 --> 00:05:20,883
Doesn't that sound
a little primitive to you?
86
00:05:21,287 --> 00:05:23,152
Oh, yeah,
it's totally primitive.
87
00:05:23,222 --> 00:05:24,655
You know,
that's what makes it so great.
88
00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:27,420
It's back to the caves,
right brain all the way.
89
00:05:27,627 --> 00:05:30,858
Yeah, but somebody
could get hurt. Badly.
90
00:05:31,030 --> 00:05:32,395
Hopefully.
91
00:05:32,465 --> 00:05:36,265
Bernard, to inflict pain,
to receive pain...
92
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:40,170
it's all part of the package, man.
There's no getting away from human nature.
93
00:05:40,239 --> 00:05:43,037
'Cause you can dress it up anyway
you want. Anthropologically...
94
00:05:43,109 --> 00:05:47,944
we're only a nanosecond away from spears,
loincloths, and sleeping up in the trees.
95
00:05:48,581 --> 00:05:50,446
I don't write the facts,
I just repeat them.
96
00:05:56,489 --> 00:05:58,286
Hey, Dr. Fleischman.
How are you doing, Ed?
97
00:06:00,793 --> 00:06:02,317
Are you feeling okay?
98
00:06:02,895 --> 00:06:04,522
My Uncle Manny passed away.
99
00:06:05,765 --> 00:06:06,857
Oh.
100
00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:11,330
We used to spend
Sundays together.
101
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:14,871
He didn't have any kids,
so he kind of adopted me.
102
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:20,945
We would listen to Yankee
games and we'd play gin rummy.
103
00:06:21,013 --> 00:06:22,002
It's wild, you know.
104
00:06:22,081 --> 00:06:23,776
It's like I can
still picture him...
105
00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:26,182
sitting in front
of his window there...
106
00:06:26,252 --> 00:06:27,947
loading his little pipe.
107
00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:31,517
He had this great
Amphora Tobacco.
108
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,890
Are you gonna
go to the funeral?
109
00:06:35,595 --> 00:06:37,222
No, it's in Florida.
110
00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:38,753
Oh.
111
00:06:39,832 --> 00:06:42,494
I told my Aunt Helen
I'd say Kaddish.
112
00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:44,302
What's a Kaddish?
113
00:06:44,370 --> 00:06:46,770
Kaddish is a Jewish prayer
for the dead.
114
00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:48,896
Oh.
115
00:06:49,609 --> 00:06:52,009
Only problem is,
you need a minyan to say it.
116
00:06:53,679 --> 00:06:54,839
What's a minyan?
117
00:06:56,549 --> 00:07:00,246
It's 10 Jewish males,
13 or older...
118
00:07:00,319 --> 00:07:02,651
or actually, most places now
it can be women.
119
00:07:03,489 --> 00:07:05,753
But I'm not exactly sure how
Uncle Manny would feel about that.
120
00:07:05,825 --> 00:07:07,417
He was raised Orthodox.
121
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:10,687
Why do you need a minyan?
122
00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:13,292
I don't know.
123
00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:16,096
You know, nine guys on a
field to play baseball...
124
00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:18,330
and 10 Jews in a room
to say Kaddish.
125
00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:22,669
I don't know where
I'm going to find a minyan.
126
00:07:42,094 --> 00:07:43,652
Is something wrong, Marilyn?
127
00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:47,360
No. Keep walking.
128
00:07:48,334 --> 00:07:49,392
Go.
129
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,431
Stop.
130
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:55,469
Turn right.
131
00:07:58,544 --> 00:07:59,670
Stop.
132
00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:03,605
Marilyn, I-
Pick up the pretzels.
133
00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:11,651
You'll do.
134
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:21,361
Double liver and onions,
double western omelet.
135
00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:22,958
Could we get another pitcher,
please?
136
00:08:23,035 --> 00:08:26,004
You got it. Want me to clear this
lasagna? I'm still working on it.
137
00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:30,008
Cool. Hey, major guns, boys.
Thanks.
138
00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:32,169
Hi, Shelly.
Hey, babe, where you been?
139
00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:33,906
I've got orders
backing up all over.
140
00:08:33,980 --> 00:08:37,541
I've been dancing. Well,
moving would be more like it.
141
00:08:37,617 --> 00:08:38,675
What?
142
00:08:38,751 --> 00:08:41,311
Marilyn says
I've got natural ability.
143
00:08:41,387 --> 00:08:44,652
Ability for what? Moving.
She wants me to practice.
144
00:08:44,724 --> 00:08:45,952
Practice what?
145
00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:50,826
Well, walking, bending, reaching,
you know, generally moving.
146
00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:52,853
Why?
147
00:08:52,932 --> 00:08:56,129
I'm gonna be her partner
in the Cajun Dancing Contest.
148
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:59,869
Marilyn picked you to be
her partner? She did, indeed.
149
00:09:00,573 --> 00:09:03,906
But you don't dance, Holling.
I haven't danced, Shelly.
150
00:09:03,976 --> 00:09:07,503
But Marilyn says she's got a knack
for discovering hidden talent.
151
00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:11,141
She says I got a streak a
mile wide. How did she put it?
152
00:09:11,751 --> 00:09:14,618
"You've got natural
two-step greatness. "
153
00:09:14,787 --> 00:09:16,778
Can you imagine that?
"Greatness. "
154
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:20,084
Of course, I've got
to practice like the devil...
155
00:09:20,159 --> 00:09:22,753
in order to realize
my full potential, she says.
156
00:09:22,828 --> 00:09:24,693
She's got her own method
and everything.
157
00:09:24,764 --> 00:09:25,788
Order up!
158
00:09:25,865 --> 00:09:27,127
Can you get that for me,
Shelly?
159
00:09:27,199 --> 00:09:30,168
I've got to do some moving, you know,
while it's still fresh in my mind.
160
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,101
Yeah, sure, babe.
161
00:09:45,551 --> 00:09:46,643
Hello?
162
00:09:48,154 --> 00:09:49,917
Fleischman, you here?
Yeah.
163
00:09:56,495 --> 00:09:57,894
Hey.
Hey.
164
00:09:58,698 --> 00:10:00,757
Can I come in?
Yeah, absolutely.
165
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:02,727
Thanks.
166
00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:04,525
Oh...
167
00:10:04,804 --> 00:10:07,500
I was supposed to reorder
your iron, wasn't I? I'm sorry.
168
00:10:07,573 --> 00:10:10,872
No, no, no, Fleischman, that's
not why I came here, really.
169
00:10:12,311 --> 00:10:15,542
I heard about your uncle.
I'm sorry.
170
00:10:16,148 --> 00:10:17,740
Oh, well, thanks.
171
00:10:19,051 --> 00:10:20,450
What's this?
172
00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:24,315
It's just some old family stuff
that I never really unpacked.
173
00:10:25,658 --> 00:10:27,649
This your uncle?
Yeah.
174
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,560
It's me and Manny
in front of Yankee Stadium.
175
00:10:32,932 --> 00:10:36,561
Look at you! Now, I didn't
know you wore braces.
176
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:37,625
Yeah.
177
00:10:38,270 --> 00:10:39,362
Fifth grade.
178
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:42,029
Wow.
179
00:10:42,108 --> 00:10:43,200
It's my first Yankee game.
180
00:10:44,410 --> 00:10:47,573
Thurman Munson hit a homer off of
Jim Palmer to win it in the ninth.
181
00:10:48,247 --> 00:10:51,045
And what about this?
Where's this?
182
00:10:51,117 --> 00:10:52,641
That was my bar mitzvah.
183
00:10:52,718 --> 00:10:55,619
It was at my cousin's 'cause
they had this big yard out back.
184
00:10:56,622 --> 00:10:57,782
Who's this?
185
00:10:58,391 --> 00:11:00,325
That's Manny and Helen.
186
00:11:03,029 --> 00:11:04,018
Hmm.
187
00:11:04,897 --> 00:11:06,125
What's this?
188
00:11:06,632 --> 00:11:08,793
This was the stuff
I wore at my bar mitzvah.
189
00:11:08,868 --> 00:11:12,463
This is a tallith. It's a prayer
shawl. It's beautiful, isn't it?
190
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:14,731
This is beautiful.
191
00:11:14,807 --> 00:11:18,038
And this is a yarmulke. This is what
you wear on your head, obviously.
192
00:11:19,812 --> 00:11:20,836
Wow.
193
00:11:20,913 --> 00:11:23,404
Yeah, he brought this stuff
back from Israel for me.
194
00:11:23,649 --> 00:11:25,981
He helped me memorize
my Torah portion.
195
00:11:26,986 --> 00:11:30,649
So, we spent quite a few hours
together. I don't remember any of it.
196
00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:36,256
Well, look, Fleischman, if
you need anything, call me.
197
00:11:36,929 --> 00:11:38,954
Thanks, O'Connell.
Sure.
198
00:11:40,666 --> 00:11:42,099
Good night.
199
00:12:02,588 --> 00:12:05,785
I haven't been this pumped since,
I don't know, 12 years, man.
200
00:12:06,125 --> 00:12:08,616
Last time I took on Bobby
Miller at the Grove Drive-in.
201
00:12:08,694 --> 00:12:09,683
We were...
202
00:12:09,762 --> 00:12:11,161
It was a draw,
you know...
203
00:12:11,330 --> 00:12:14,458
I got a broken nose, I took out his
front teeth with an elbow to the jaw.
204
00:12:15,634 --> 00:12:17,067
Chris, this, I...
205
00:12:18,270 --> 00:12:20,135
Get your hand back
in that pickle jar.
206
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,469
Is this really necessary?
207
00:12:22,808 --> 00:12:26,608
Nothing like pickle brine to toughen
up the skin, man, harden the knuckles.
208
00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:29,876
Listen, when we go in, I want
to stay on the left, you know...
209
00:12:29,949 --> 00:12:32,884
because I don't want to crowd my
roundhouse. You know what I mean?
210
00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:35,750
Yeah. This is all
pretty new to me, so...
211
00:12:35,821 --> 00:12:38,881
What do you mean?
I've never been in a fight.
212
00:12:38,958 --> 00:12:40,550
Ha-ha-ha, very funny.
213
00:12:41,060 --> 00:12:42,789
No, really, I haven't.
214
00:12:42,862 --> 00:12:45,422
Come on, man, you're a Stevens.
What are you talking about?
215
00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:47,329
Yeah, well, I haven't.
216
00:12:47,466 --> 00:12:50,401
What, you never sent a guy
to the hospital before?
217
00:12:50,469 --> 00:12:52,664
Got your own bridgework,
all your own teeth, right?
218
00:12:53,038 --> 00:12:54,130
Right.
219
00:12:56,408 --> 00:12:59,343
I don't believe this.
Well, it's true.
220
00:12:59,645 --> 00:13:02,944
I can't believe this, man. It's
like, Richard Petty's kid saying:
221
00:13:03,015 --> 00:13:05,745
"I've never been behind a wheel
of a bored-out Chevy before. "
222
00:13:05,851 --> 00:13:07,785
I'm just not a fighter.
223
00:13:08,053 --> 00:13:11,113
No. No, don't say that, man.
224
00:13:11,190 --> 00:13:13,920
It's probably just a gene
that's gone awry, you know.
225
00:13:13,993 --> 00:13:15,654
Chris, I may put you
at a disadvantage.
226
00:13:15,728 --> 00:13:17,491
Maybe we should just
call this whole thing off.
227
00:13:17,563 --> 00:13:20,657
No. No, no, no, no, no. You're gonna
be great, man. You're gonna be fine.
228
00:13:21,267 --> 00:13:24,293
Look, to be honest with you, Chris,
those gorillas really scare me.
229
00:13:24,370 --> 00:13:26,861
It's scary the first time,
you know. It's like...
230
00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:30,969
That bell rings, though, and your
body, man, it just takes over, you know.
231
00:13:31,043 --> 00:13:34,206
Everything slows down like in one
of those chopsocky movies, man.
232
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,441
You see that fist
coming at you.
233
00:13:36,515 --> 00:13:39,382
You can count every hair
on that knuckle.
234
00:13:40,219 --> 00:13:43,746
And you don't think, your body just
takes over, man. You slip a jab.
235
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:45,953
A couple pops
to the head.
236
00:13:46,025 --> 00:13:47,686
And then you finish him off,
bam, man!
237
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:50,058
Knee to the groin,
down he goes...
238
00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:53,428
eyes rolling back in his head
like window shades.
239
00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:55,364
It's the best feeling
in the world.
240
00:13:57,102 --> 00:13:58,535
Bernard...
241
00:13:58,604 --> 00:14:02,700
you're not on the horns
of a moral dilemma, are you?
242
00:14:03,442 --> 00:14:06,377
No, no, no. I'm just
thinking about the pain.
243
00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:08,476
Oh, yeah.
244
00:14:09,315 --> 00:14:11,715
The pain is real.
Pain hurts.
245
00:14:12,384 --> 00:14:13,851
But the pain can be good.
246
00:14:14,954 --> 00:14:16,444
I don't know, Chris.
247
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:18,752
Oh, man,
we've been given a gift.
248
00:14:19,658 --> 00:14:22,286
Why do you think that the Millers
showed up here when they did?
249
00:14:23,162 --> 00:14:25,653
I mean, they could have appeared
at any time, but why now?
250
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:27,658
Why?
251
00:14:27,733 --> 00:14:31,829
So that I can actually be there
when my brother loses his cherry.
252
00:14:33,239 --> 00:14:35,298
As close as we are today...
253
00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:38,172
tomorrow when we come back
from that battlefield...
254
00:14:38,244 --> 00:14:41,179
we will be as close as
two men can possibly be.
255
00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:45,881
Sharing a bond that can only be forged
in the face of imminent disfigurement.
256
00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:50,378
"We few, we happy few,
we band of brothers
257
00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:53,525
"For he today
that sheds his blood with me
258
00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:55,259
"Shall be my brother. "
259
00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:05,866
Hey, Bernard, Chris.
260
00:15:06,205 --> 00:15:09,003
Well, now that
we're finally all here...
261
00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:10,166
Sorry.
Sorry.
262
00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:12,142
...I guess we can begin.
263
00:15:13,445 --> 00:15:18,178
As you all know, Fleischman's
Uncle Morty died this week.
264
00:15:18,450 --> 00:15:20,680
Uncle Manny.
I believe it was Uncle Manny.
265
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:21,879
Well, whatever.
266
00:15:21,954 --> 00:15:26,482
Anyway, Fleischman wants to say
the traditional mourner's prayer...
267
00:15:26,692 --> 00:15:29,286
but he can't do it
without nine more Jews.
268
00:15:29,361 --> 00:15:30,419
Why not?
269
00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:33,556
Well, how should I know,
Shelly? Do I look like Tevye?
270
00:15:33,899 --> 00:15:34,888
Who?
271
00:15:35,634 --> 00:15:37,192
Fiddler on the Roof.
272
00:15:37,903 --> 00:15:38,927
Oh.
273
00:15:39,004 --> 00:15:40,767
Well, you see, Shelly...
274
00:15:40,839 --> 00:15:44,741
the minyan thing is so that the
mourner doesn't go it alone, you know...
275
00:15:44,810 --> 00:15:46,243
in the time of grief.
276
00:15:46,312 --> 00:15:49,110
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well,
the bottom line is...
277
00:15:49,181 --> 00:15:52,207
Fleischman needs nine more
Hebrews on his team.
278
00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:56,516
So I've decided that I will
pay $100 plus expenses...
279
00:15:56,588 --> 00:15:58,613
for any bona fide member
of the Jewish faith...
280
00:15:58,691 --> 00:16:00,625
who will come here
and pray with Fleischman.
281
00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:03,059
That's mighty generous
of you, Maurice.
282
00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:07,326
But I doubt you could find 10 Jewish
people within 2,000 miles of Cicely.
283
00:16:07,399 --> 00:16:09,890
I guess that's where we
come in. That's precisely it.
284
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:12,233
Now open your packets
and look in there.
285
00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:15,705
You'll see that I have
assigned each of you...
286
00:16:15,774 --> 00:16:18,072
a sector of the map.
287
00:16:18,510 --> 00:16:22,469
If we find
only 0.67 worshippers...
288
00:16:22,548 --> 00:16:23,981
within each sector...
289
00:16:24,183 --> 00:16:26,378
we'll come in
one over the limit.
290
00:16:26,452 --> 00:16:29,683
I think that's a statistically
feasible target, don't you?
291
00:16:29,755 --> 00:16:31,848
How do we know
if someone's Jewish?
292
00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:34,154
Now that is a very good
question, Shelly.
293
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,289
Anybody got
an answer to that?
294
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,861
No? Well...
295
00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:43,927
the tip of the penis used to be
a pretty accurate yardstick...
296
00:16:44,036 --> 00:16:48,302
but with the proliferation
of circumcision...
297
00:16:48,374 --> 00:16:50,842
it's no longer
a valid form of ID.
298
00:16:50,909 --> 00:16:53,969
Now, right here
is a picture...
299
00:16:54,046 --> 00:16:57,482
of what used to be considered
your typical Jewish person.
300
00:16:57,950 --> 00:17:02,284
But if that stereotype was ever
valid, you can see, it no longer is.
301
00:17:02,488 --> 00:17:04,683
Say hi to Issur Danielovitch.
302
00:17:05,457 --> 00:17:08,517
Wow, Hercules was Jewish.
303
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:13,021
Oh, that's Spartacus, Shelly.
Well, actually, Kirk Douglas.
304
00:17:13,432 --> 00:17:14,456
Oh.
305
00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:17,195
Maurice, what about
last names, you know?
306
00:17:17,302 --> 00:17:20,362
Schwartz, Cohen, Levine.
Seinfeld.
307
00:17:20,806 --> 00:17:23,707
Well, last names would be...
308
00:17:23,842 --> 00:17:27,437
your primary clue.
309
00:17:27,513 --> 00:17:29,708
And I've compiled
a list of them right here.
310
00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:33,274
Of course, it's not
comprehensive, by any means.
311
00:17:33,519 --> 00:17:35,487
Where are we gonna find
these names, Maurice?
312
00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:37,112
I mean, outside
the telephone book?
313
00:17:37,189 --> 00:17:40,750
Well, Holling, your Jewish people
are a lot like your Chinese people...
314
00:17:40,826 --> 00:17:42,225
only with a sense of humor.
315
00:17:42,294 --> 00:17:46,492
They value family,
tradition, education.
316
00:17:46,598 --> 00:17:49,032
They tend to go
toward the professions.
317
00:17:49,101 --> 00:17:51,035
When I blasted off
into space...
318
00:17:51,103 --> 00:17:55,403
I was very happy to have a lot of
Goldfarbs and Finkelsteins at the button.
319
00:17:55,874 --> 00:17:59,776
Although, none of them
got into a Mercury capsule.
320
00:18:02,114 --> 00:18:04,378
Now, nobody said this
is gonna be easy, people.
321
00:18:04,450 --> 00:18:06,213
You got to get out there
and beat the bushes.
322
00:18:06,685 --> 00:18:09,483
But we've got until
1800 hours on Friday.
323
00:18:09,988 --> 00:18:12,548
So let's move. Dismissed.
324
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:18,761
Can we keep these pens?
Certainly, yeah.
325
00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:22,426
Hey, Cicely, KBHR is looking
for a few good Jews.
326
00:18:22,501 --> 00:18:25,163
That's right. This is Chris
in the Morning with an APB...
327
00:18:25,237 --> 00:18:26,864
for any and all children
of Abraham...
328
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:30,966
who can sit shiva with our own Dr. Joel
Fleischman, in honor of his Uncle Manny.
329
00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:33,011
If you're Jewish within
the sound of my voice...
330
00:18:33,078 --> 00:18:35,638
why don't you give a holler
to the KBHR hotline?
331
00:18:35,714 --> 00:18:40,276
Qualified participants will receive
a travel allowance, honorary stipend...
332
00:18:40,352 --> 00:18:42,616
plus room and board
at The Sourdough Inn...
333
00:18:42,688 --> 00:18:46,590
Cicely's four-star bed and breakfast
operated by your hosts, Ron and Erick.
334
00:18:46,658 --> 00:18:50,287
Why don't you drop on by, say Kaddish,
and have the Cicely experience?
335
00:18:50,362 --> 00:18:51,590
Hey, Joel!
336
00:18:52,164 --> 00:18:54,029
Hey, Maurice,
you got a minute?
337
00:18:54,666 --> 00:18:59,433
Make it quick, Fleischman. I'm right
up into my ass in logistics here.
338
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:01,132
Okay.
339
00:19:02,341 --> 00:19:07,278
I guess you and I have had
our differences in the past...
340
00:19:07,546 --> 00:19:09,036
and, I mean,
to tell you the truth...
341
00:19:09,114 --> 00:19:13,414
I've always thought of you as some
loud-mouthed, unprincipled bigot.
342
00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:16,682
I mean, you've threatened me
physically on numerous occasions.
343
00:19:16,755 --> 00:19:19,383
You're making me serve
another year of bondage here...
344
00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:21,323
through highly
unethical means, I might add.
345
00:19:21,393 --> 00:19:23,520
All right, what the hell
is your point, Fleischman?
346
00:19:24,062 --> 00:19:26,326
I guess what I'm trying
to say is that...
347
00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:30,358
nothing in
our prior relationship...
348
00:19:30,536 --> 00:19:34,302
has prepared me
for this gesture.
349
00:19:34,606 --> 00:19:37,473
And I just would
like you to know that...
350
00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:39,969
my uncle was...
351
00:19:40,045 --> 00:19:42,070
He was a really
important figure in my life...
352
00:19:42,147 --> 00:19:45,878
and this would have meant a lot
to him and it means a lot to me.
353
00:19:46,218 --> 00:19:49,813
Fleischman, I'm responsible
for bringing you here...
354
00:19:49,888 --> 00:19:53,881
and the way I see it, as long
as you keep us reasonably well...
355
00:19:53,959 --> 00:19:57,827
I have a reciprocal obligation
to keep you mentally stable.
356
00:19:58,330 --> 00:20:02,562
Yeah, well, I don't think reciprocity
has anything to do with it.
357
00:20:02,634 --> 00:20:03,965
I think it's...
358
00:20:05,737 --> 00:20:09,901
I don't know. But it's great and I
just want you to know I appreciate it.
359
00:20:11,310 --> 00:20:12,641
You're welcome.
360
00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:24,180
Quick, slow,
slow, quick, quick.
361
00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:30,490
Not so heavy. Heavy? What do you mean?
362
00:20:30,696 --> 00:20:33,426
Make the floor your friend.
Use it.
363
00:20:33,765 --> 00:20:34,891
Use it?
364
00:20:39,371 --> 00:20:40,565
Right!
365
00:20:48,547 --> 00:20:49,775
Good.
366
00:20:52,351 --> 00:20:55,252
My bladder is about to back up
on me. Could I have a minute?
367
00:20:55,821 --> 00:20:57,186
Take five.
368
00:20:59,124 --> 00:21:01,456
Hey, Shelly,
this is really fun.
369
00:21:01,893 --> 00:21:04,726
Great, babe.
He moves like an elk.
370
00:21:05,330 --> 00:21:07,195
Holling?
Uh-huh.
371
00:21:08,333 --> 00:21:10,426
Is that good?
Very good.
372
00:21:11,203 --> 00:21:13,398
I always thought
H had two left feet.
373
00:21:13,805 --> 00:21:15,830
He's still thinking
too much.
374
00:21:16,074 --> 00:21:18,634
He needs to release
the dancer inside.
375
00:21:19,811 --> 00:21:21,210
Inside where?
376
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:22,838
Inside himself.
377
00:21:23,682 --> 00:21:24,671
Oh.
378
00:21:24,983 --> 00:21:27,850
Okay, Marilyn, let's do some
two-steppin'. Watch this, hon.
379
00:21:30,022 --> 00:21:32,388
Quick, quick.
Slow, slow.
380
00:21:32,457 --> 00:21:41,364
Quick, quick.
Slow, slow.
381
00:21:41,433 --> 00:21:42,923
That's it.
382
00:21:47,906 --> 00:21:49,396
Yeah, it's open.
383
00:21:51,276 --> 00:21:53,107
Ed, you actually knocked.
384
00:21:53,612 --> 00:21:56,740
Yeah, guess I did.
Sorry.
385
00:21:56,815 --> 00:22:00,216
It's all right. Want some dinner? I
got SpaghettiO's and Sliced Franks.
386
00:22:00,285 --> 00:22:02,583
No, thank you. Yeah?
It's not bad, actually.
387
00:22:02,654 --> 00:22:05,248
I found one.
One what?
388
00:22:05,457 --> 00:22:08,187
A Jewish person.
You did? Where?
389
00:22:08,260 --> 00:22:10,490
Well, I was driving back
from Douglas Junction...
390
00:22:10,562 --> 00:22:12,393
and there he was
hitching by the road.
391
00:22:12,464 --> 00:22:14,432
What, his car broke down
or something?
392
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:16,267
No. He was just hitching.
393
00:22:16,468 --> 00:22:18,060
You found a Jew hitching?
394
00:22:18,136 --> 00:22:19,228
Uh-huh.
395
00:22:19,304 --> 00:22:21,101
It's impossible.
Jews don't hitch.
396
00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:22,868
Well, he's right outside.
Do you want to meet him?
397
00:22:22,941 --> 00:22:23,999
For real?
Yeah.
398
00:22:24,076 --> 00:22:26,601
Well, yeah, by all means. Don't
make him stand out in the cold.
399
00:22:26,678 --> 00:22:28,908
Come on in, Buck.
Buck?
400
00:22:28,980 --> 00:22:30,572
That's his name.
401
00:22:32,217 --> 00:22:35,209
Buck Schoen, I'd like you
to meet Dr. Joel Fleischman.
402
00:22:35,287 --> 00:22:36,686
Hey.
Shane?
403
00:22:36,988 --> 00:22:38,216
That's right.
404
00:22:38,890 --> 00:22:41,358
That's kind of unusual,
isn't it?
405
00:22:41,426 --> 00:22:44,259
It's German. S-c-h-o-e-n.
406
00:22:44,396 --> 00:22:45,488
Oh.
407
00:22:46,398 --> 00:22:48,229
Buck's a lumberjack
when he's working.
408
00:22:50,469 --> 00:22:52,528
Would you excuse us
just one second?
409
00:22:52,771 --> 00:22:54,534
You can just hang out.
You don't have to go outside.
410
00:22:58,510 --> 00:23:02,810
Ed, I hate to look a gift horse in the
mouth, but someone's pulling your leg.
411
00:23:03,782 --> 00:23:05,409
What do you mean,
Dr. Fleischman?
412
00:23:05,484 --> 00:23:08,112
What I mean is, that man
is definitely not a Jew.
413
00:23:08,653 --> 00:23:10,848
He's not?
No. Look at him.
414
00:23:10,922 --> 00:23:12,446
Jews don't wear
red suspenders.
415
00:23:12,524 --> 00:23:14,992
They don't slobber tobacco in
their beard, they don't hitch...
416
00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:16,789
and they definitely
don't have names like Buck.
417
00:23:17,429 --> 00:23:19,294
Oh. Well, his
real name's Leon.
418
00:23:19,998 --> 00:23:21,056
Yeah?
Uh-huh.
419
00:23:22,467 --> 00:23:24,094
Well, we'll see about that.
420
00:23:25,937 --> 00:23:27,063
Buck.
421
00:23:27,339 --> 00:23:31,207
Look, I don't have any doubts or anything
and, you know, don't take this in any way...
422
00:23:31,276 --> 00:23:33,710
but I kind of made
a promise to my rabbi.
423
00:23:34,413 --> 00:23:37,712
So I was wondering, would
you mind reciting the Sh'ma?
424
00:23:42,888 --> 00:23:43,877
Huh.
425
00:23:44,756 --> 00:23:46,246
Where'd you grow up?
426
00:23:46,324 --> 00:23:49,316
Cleveland.
Well, Shaker, actually.
427
00:23:49,394 --> 00:23:50,418
Oh, Shaker Heights?
428
00:23:50,495 --> 00:23:53,726
Yeah, I had a lab partner who
grew up in Shaker Heights as well.
429
00:23:53,799 --> 00:23:56,290
He said it was like a Midwest
version of Scarsdale.
430
00:23:56,701 --> 00:23:58,259
Not my bag.
431
00:23:58,336 --> 00:24:00,236
You said meals come
with the package, right?
432
00:24:00,305 --> 00:24:01,602
Oh, yes. Per diem also.
433
00:24:01,673 --> 00:24:02,901
Cash on the barrelhead?
434
00:24:02,974 --> 00:24:06,239
Oh, yeah. We'll stop by Maurice's
office right on the way out of town.
435
00:24:07,145 --> 00:24:08,806
Oh, see you later,
Dr. Fleischman.
436
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:09,904
Yeah.
437
00:24:10,916 --> 00:24:12,349
Two down, eight to go.
438
00:24:12,851 --> 00:24:14,751
All right, thanks, Ed.
See you later.
439
00:24:15,420 --> 00:24:16,887
See you, Buck.
Yeah.
440
00:24:16,955 --> 00:24:21,415
And, hey, Buck. Tonight's the spaghetti
feed at The Brick. All you can eat, $2.50.
441
00:24:34,206 --> 00:24:37,903
I love roadwork, man. Rhythmic
pounding in the joints. Feels good, huh?
442
00:24:37,976 --> 00:24:40,035
Oh, God.
I think I've got blisters.
443
00:24:40,278 --> 00:24:42,838
Hey, how you guys doing?
Find everything all right?
444
00:24:42,914 --> 00:24:44,211
Yeah.
Yeah.
445
00:24:44,282 --> 00:24:47,683
Good. Beer with breakfast,
man, reminds me of home.
446
00:24:49,321 --> 00:24:52,882
There's something about
you guys. You look familiar.
447
00:24:53,425 --> 00:24:54,949
Have we met before?
448
00:24:55,460 --> 00:24:58,623
You ever done time at Marion?
Nope.
449
00:24:58,697 --> 00:25:01,564
You ever run cigarettes
along I-95?
450
00:25:01,733 --> 00:25:02,859
Uh-uh.
451
00:25:05,470 --> 00:25:06,903
I've got it.
452
00:25:06,972 --> 00:25:08,633
I had this
reoccurring nightmare...
453
00:25:08,707 --> 00:25:10,971
that I'm being chased
by rednecks with sheets.
454
00:25:11,042 --> 00:25:14,739
But I keep running and running
and they stay on my tail like MIGs.
455
00:25:14,813 --> 00:25:18,044
You are the guys. You're
the two that try to lynch me.
456
00:25:18,950 --> 00:25:22,317
Yeah, all along I thought it was
this racial anxiety nightmare...
457
00:25:22,387 --> 00:25:25,720
but it turns out to be a
family thing. How about that?
458
00:25:26,491 --> 00:25:27,480
Wow.
459
00:25:29,728 --> 00:25:32,561
Hey, Holling! Another round
for my landsmen here, huh?
460
00:25:32,631 --> 00:25:34,360
Coming right up.
461
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:38,068
Boy, somebody's stoked
this morning.
462
00:25:38,136 --> 00:25:39,933
I had a breakthrough
last night, Shelly.
463
00:25:40,005 --> 00:25:43,133
I was having trouble
with this reverse twirl.
464
00:25:43,208 --> 00:25:45,267
So, Marilyn stops the music...
465
00:25:45,343 --> 00:25:48,710
and she gives me what she calls
her "silver dollar move"...
466
00:25:48,780 --> 00:25:50,509
that she'd been saving
just in case.
467
00:25:50,916 --> 00:25:53,510
I tell you.
One minute with that move...
468
00:25:53,585 --> 00:25:57,214
we are twirling around that
room like nobody's business.
469
00:25:57,289 --> 00:25:59,587
Is that a fact?
Yes, ma'am.
470
00:25:59,691 --> 00:26:03,718
You know, Shel, when I dance with
Marilyn I feel lighter than air.
471
00:26:16,007 --> 00:26:17,975
Hey, Dave?
Yes, Shelly.
472
00:26:18,443 --> 00:26:20,673
Can I ask you a question?
Sure.
473
00:26:23,048 --> 00:26:25,278
What do you think
about the way Holling moves?
474
00:26:25,817 --> 00:26:26,977
The way he moves?
475
00:26:27,085 --> 00:26:28,109
Uh-huh.
476
00:26:28,186 --> 00:26:30,746
Well, I think he moves
pretty good.
477
00:26:31,222 --> 00:26:32,849
Really?
Yeah.
478
00:26:33,792 --> 00:26:36,317
Do you think he's sexy?
Sexy?
479
00:26:37,128 --> 00:26:38,288
Sure.
480
00:26:39,931 --> 00:26:40,920
Hmm.
481
00:26:42,934 --> 00:26:44,333
Say, "Ah. "
Ah.
482
00:26:44,402 --> 00:26:46,029
Ah.
Ah.
483
00:26:46,538 --> 00:26:47,766
Yeah, well...
484
00:26:48,006 --> 00:26:50,236
Fred, of course,
you can't swallow.
485
00:26:50,308 --> 00:26:52,776
Your glands are the size
of golf balls.
486
00:26:53,244 --> 00:26:54,575
Are you busy, Joel?
487
00:26:56,147 --> 00:26:59,446
Well, yeah, actually. I have
someone here I want you to meet.
488
00:26:59,551 --> 00:27:02,543
This is Nigel Axelrod.
He's one of your people.
489
00:27:02,721 --> 00:27:03,710
Hi.
490
00:27:04,089 --> 00:27:05,852
Delighted to meet you,
Dr. Fleischman.
491
00:27:05,924 --> 00:27:09,826
Though I regret it has to be under
such unfortunate circumstances.
492
00:27:09,894 --> 00:27:13,421
Nigel works for British
Petroleum up in Prudhoe.
493
00:27:13,498 --> 00:27:16,467
Chemical engineer. I've
worked all over the globe.
494
00:27:16,534 --> 00:27:19,469
Egypt, Venezuela,
North Sea.
495
00:27:19,971 --> 00:27:22,371
He calls himself
The Wandering Jew.
496
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:23,964
My little joke.
497
00:27:24,042 --> 00:27:26,772
I found him through a friend
in the Audubon Society.
498
00:27:26,845 --> 00:27:29,040
Oh, are you a bird person,
doctor?
499
00:27:29,247 --> 00:27:31,613
Oh, no, I'm afraid not.
Pity.
500
00:27:31,683 --> 00:27:34,743
And he also has someone else
who can pray with you.
501
00:27:35,153 --> 00:27:38,520
Hal Greenbaum, geologist
in our Anchorage office.
502
00:27:38,590 --> 00:27:41,058
He's hoping to hitch a ride
over in the company chopper.
503
00:27:41,126 --> 00:27:42,218
Really?
504
00:27:42,293 --> 00:27:45,820
Reminds me of when I was in
North Yemen a few years back.
505
00:27:45,964 --> 00:27:47,659
My sister-in-law died.
506
00:27:47,732 --> 00:27:49,962
You can imagine
my distress.
507
00:27:50,769 --> 00:27:53,704
Yemen is not
exactly Tel Aviv.
508
00:27:53,772 --> 00:27:56,605
But I ran into
a tribe of nomads...
509
00:27:56,875 --> 00:27:59,105
well, I took the chaps
for Bedouins initially.
510
00:27:59,711 --> 00:28:02,509
Turns out they're
as kosher as you or I.
511
00:28:02,747 --> 00:28:05,113
It worked out
quite well in the end, really.
512
00:28:05,183 --> 00:28:06,810
Well, come on,
Nigel, let's go.
513
00:28:06,885 --> 00:28:10,218
I want to show him our Siberian
Tits before we lose the light.
514
00:28:10,288 --> 00:28:14,281
Oh, splendid. Well, looking forward to
sitting shiva with you, Dr. Fleischman.
515
00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:15,348
Yeah, me, too.
516
00:28:15,427 --> 00:28:18,760
And terribly sorry about
your grandfather. Uncle.
517
00:28:19,130 --> 00:28:20,324
Right.
518
00:28:23,101 --> 00:28:25,160
Hey, Bernard.
Hey, Maggie.
519
00:28:25,236 --> 00:28:27,227
What do you charge
for a trip to Juneau?
520
00:28:27,305 --> 00:28:28,772
Roundtrip?
One-way.
521
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:31,206
One-way. $240.
When do you want to go?
522
00:28:31,276 --> 00:28:32,436
Now, actually.
523
00:28:32,510 --> 00:28:34,307
Oh, man, I've got
a charter to Skagway.
524
00:28:34,379 --> 00:28:36,609
Skagway's all right.
Plane's full.
525
00:28:36,881 --> 00:28:40,214
Look, I'll make it worth
your while. Say, $500.
526
00:28:41,286 --> 00:28:43,811
Does this have anything to
do with the fight? Uh-huh.
527
00:28:43,955 --> 00:28:47,118
Got a good look at those
Miller boys, huh? It's not that.
528
00:28:47,192 --> 00:28:50,355
Although, the prospect of being
demolished by those woolly mammoths...
529
00:28:50,428 --> 00:28:52,293
does fill me with dread,
paralytic terror, actually.
530
00:28:52,363 --> 00:28:55,560
But the fact is, Maggie, I
want to fight them. You do?
531
00:28:55,633 --> 00:28:59,228
I want to disembowel them. I want to see
their entrails hanging from the nearest tree.
532
00:28:59,304 --> 00:29:01,169
That's not like you, Bernard.
I know.
533
00:29:01,239 --> 00:29:02,672
It all turned around
this morning.
534
00:29:02,741 --> 00:29:05,175
Chris and I were working out
with some tire irons...
535
00:29:05,243 --> 00:29:08,371
and I let one fly against this
oil drum and something clicked.
536
00:29:08,446 --> 00:29:10,437
Suddenly,
I wanted to do damage.
537
00:29:10,515 --> 00:29:14,281
I wanted to put these Miller boys in a
big open pit and cover them with lime.
538
00:29:14,352 --> 00:29:15,910
Really?
539
00:29:15,987 --> 00:29:18,785
Yeah, you know, I've always
deplored sectarian violence...
540
00:29:18,857 --> 00:29:20,916
but it always comes down
to the same thing.
541
00:29:20,992 --> 00:29:23,552
My side is better than
your side and I hate that.
542
00:29:23,628 --> 00:29:26,290
Yet here I am, a certified
public accountant...
543
00:29:26,364 --> 00:29:30,664
ready to sacrifice years of dental
work for an ancestral vendetta...
544
00:29:30,735 --> 00:29:33,169
which I knew absolutely
nothing about until yesterday.
545
00:29:33,238 --> 00:29:36,503
So you want to get out of town before
you violate your principles. Is that it?
546
00:29:36,574 --> 00:29:37,939
Absolutely.
547
00:29:38,109 --> 00:29:41,567
That, and it's fairly obvious the
Miller boys will mop the streets with us.
548
00:29:41,646 --> 00:29:44,672
Interesting.
Yeah, I'll say. Thanks.
549
00:29:44,749 --> 00:29:45,807
Mmm-hmm.
550
00:29:48,219 --> 00:29:50,119
I found another Jew for you.
551
00:29:51,289 --> 00:29:52,278
Who?
552
00:29:52,357 --> 00:29:54,018
A distant cousin.
553
00:29:54,793 --> 00:29:56,260
He converted.
554
00:29:56,761 --> 00:29:58,023
You're kidding.
555
00:29:58,363 --> 00:30:01,958
He's coming by kayak.
Seven down, three to go.
556
00:30:03,601 --> 00:30:04,898
Unbelievable.
557
00:30:05,503 --> 00:30:09,769
Boy, I may actually get to say a Kaddish
for Uncle Manny with a minyan. That's...
558
00:30:11,376 --> 00:30:13,173
That's something,
you know...
559
00:30:16,648 --> 00:30:18,115
You know what, I don't...
560
00:30:18,183 --> 00:30:19,741
What I mean is...
561
00:30:20,451 --> 00:30:21,475
What?
562
00:30:21,553 --> 00:30:24,113
Why am I praying
with these guys?
563
00:30:25,423 --> 00:30:27,084
Because you're Jewish.
564
00:30:27,492 --> 00:30:30,359
Yeah, but, you know,
what does that mean?
565
00:30:32,597 --> 00:30:36,761
We hold certain theological-ethical
precepts in common?
566
00:30:37,468 --> 00:30:39,561
You know, we know
a smattering of Hebrew?
567
00:30:39,938 --> 00:30:42,907
Years ago, our ancestors
schlepped around the Negev, but...
568
00:30:44,976 --> 00:30:47,467
I mean, intellectually,
I appreciate it.
569
00:30:48,746 --> 00:30:50,213
Emotionally...
570
00:30:52,584 --> 00:30:54,950
I don't know.
I just don't know.
571
00:30:59,224 --> 00:31:01,886
Hey, Dave, what time is it?
2:30.
572
00:31:02,227 --> 00:31:04,957
I guess dance practice
ran a little over. Yeah.
573
00:31:05,029 --> 00:31:06,621
You go on.
I'll lock up.
574
00:31:06,698 --> 00:31:09,292
Okay, good night.
Good night.
575
00:31:10,768 --> 00:31:13,396
Hey, Dave.
Hey, Holling, night.
576
00:31:14,172 --> 00:31:16,970
Hey, Shelly.
A little late, aren't you?
577
00:31:17,041 --> 00:31:18,941
Well, time just flew by.
578
00:31:19,010 --> 00:31:22,275
You know, I never realized how
much dancing is like hunting...
579
00:31:22,347 --> 00:31:24,247
until Marilyn
pointed it out to me.
580
00:31:24,315 --> 00:31:25,805
She said that
when I hunted...
581
00:31:25,884 --> 00:31:30,218
my mind and my body fused and I
became the animal I was pursuing.
582
00:31:30,321 --> 00:31:33,222
Well, it's the same thing
in dance, as Marilyn says...
583
00:31:33,291 --> 00:31:36,488
except that the object
is to become the dance.
584
00:31:36,561 --> 00:31:39,428
Do we still have that full-length
mirror in the stockroom?
585
00:31:39,497 --> 00:31:41,658
Why don't you
just ask Marilyn?
586
00:31:42,734 --> 00:31:43,894
I beg your pardon?
587
00:31:43,968 --> 00:31:47,062
Marilyn says this,
Marilyn says that.
588
00:31:47,138 --> 00:31:49,663
Well, let me tell you
something, Holling Vincoeur.
589
00:31:49,741 --> 00:31:52,733
You are not the only person
with an animal inside him.
590
00:31:52,810 --> 00:31:53,834
What?
591
00:31:53,912 --> 00:31:55,937
Wayne said
I move like a cat.
592
00:31:56,014 --> 00:31:58,539
A big, hungry jungle cat.
593
00:31:58,716 --> 00:32:02,015
But you wouldn't know
about that, would you? No!
594
00:32:02,253 --> 00:32:03,982
You're too busy
being an elk.
595
00:32:04,055 --> 00:32:06,489
Well, go ahead, Holling.
Be an elk.
596
00:32:06,557 --> 00:32:09,185
Be a whole flock of elk
for all I care!
597
00:32:51,970 --> 00:32:53,995
You Fleischman?
Yeah.
598
00:32:54,739 --> 00:32:56,331
We're your Jews.
599
00:32:56,607 --> 00:32:59,440
You're my what?
Minyan rangers.
600
00:32:59,544 --> 00:33:02,741
Have Torah, will travel.
What?
601
00:33:02,947 --> 00:33:05,609
You had a death in your
family, didn't you, Fleischman?
602
00:33:06,484 --> 00:33:08,384
Well, actually, yeah.
603
00:33:08,453 --> 00:33:11,786
Well, we're here to help you set
things straight. I'm Greenbaum.
604
00:33:12,590 --> 00:33:17,186
That's Schoen,
Axelrod, Levi...
605
00:33:19,197 --> 00:33:21,461
Strauss, Little Big Macher.
606
00:33:21,566 --> 00:33:22,692
Shalom.
607
00:33:23,167 --> 00:33:24,156
Hi.
608
00:33:24,769 --> 00:33:27,761
Cohen brothers,
Ethan, Joel...
609
00:33:28,373 --> 00:33:30,967
and that there is Ah Hautia.
610
00:33:33,511 --> 00:33:34,808
Ethiopian.
611
00:33:36,481 --> 00:33:38,472
Well, you ready to ride?
612
00:33:38,549 --> 00:33:39,914
No.
613
00:33:40,985 --> 00:33:43,112
What I mean is, I can't ride.
614
00:33:43,187 --> 00:33:45,314
New Yorker. Figures.
615
00:33:47,225 --> 00:33:48,783
You don't understand
what I...
616
00:33:48,860 --> 00:33:53,160
See, I've never ridden a horse. I'm
not even quite sure how to get on.
617
00:33:53,264 --> 00:33:55,960
Come on, now.
We're packing strudel, son.
618
00:33:56,034 --> 00:33:58,525
But it won't keep.
Let's go.
619
00:33:58,669 --> 00:34:00,398
Like this? All right.
Climb on.
620
00:34:00,471 --> 00:34:02,268
Come on.
There you go.
621
00:34:02,340 --> 00:34:03,807
Okay, hold on.
Yeah.
622
00:34:35,373 --> 00:34:38,774
It's fight day, sports fans.
A crisp 45 degrees out.
623
00:34:38,843 --> 00:34:40,868
A glorious morning
to kick some butt.
624
00:34:40,945 --> 00:34:44,210
Word of thanks to all you loyal
KBHR listeners for your support.
625
00:34:44,282 --> 00:34:46,546
You never know what's going
to happen out there...
626
00:34:46,617 --> 00:34:49,677
but that's the beauty of the
sport. Thank you, Bernard.
627
00:34:49,754 --> 00:34:53,417
Bone-crusher Bernard and I are hoping
to bring back some ears for our walls.
628
00:34:53,491 --> 00:34:54,480
Can I get a witness?
629
00:34:55,660 --> 00:34:59,061
So, before I risk losing
my voice to serious injury...
630
00:34:59,130 --> 00:35:01,826
the final KBHR Kaddish
countdown on this Erev Shabbat...
631
00:35:01,899 --> 00:35:03,890
t- minus two worshippers
and counting.
632
00:35:03,968 --> 00:35:07,995
Edna Hancock found a professor of
Counterculture at Nipnuck Junior College.
633
00:35:08,072 --> 00:35:10,597
So we only need two more
qualified participants...
634
00:35:10,675 --> 00:35:13,337
and Dr. Joel will have
his Kaddish dream come true.
635
00:35:13,411 --> 00:35:15,777
Cicely, come on,
let's pull out all the stops.
636
00:35:23,221 --> 00:35:24,483
Marilyn.
637
00:35:25,756 --> 00:35:28,122
We have to talk.
Okay.
638
00:35:29,427 --> 00:35:30,689
Well...
639
00:35:33,898 --> 00:35:37,026
I know how much this
dance contest means to you...
640
00:35:37,835 --> 00:35:40,861
and what an awesome partner
Holling is and all...
641
00:35:41,472 --> 00:35:42,461
and...
642
00:35:45,409 --> 00:35:48,674
what I'm about to say
is totally uncool.
643
00:35:49,947 --> 00:35:52,415
But you can't dance
with Holling tonight.
644
00:35:54,585 --> 00:35:58,646
If I let Holling out there on
that dance floor without me...
645
00:35:59,490 --> 00:36:01,549
it's going to be open season.
646
00:36:01,659 --> 00:36:03,957
I might as well paint a
bull's eye on his undies.
647
00:36:04,562 --> 00:36:05,722
Marilyn!
648
00:36:06,497 --> 00:36:08,897
Look, I don't want to get into
one of those girl things...
649
00:36:08,966 --> 00:36:11,764
where we end up pulling each other's
hair and rolling around on the floor...
650
00:36:11,836 --> 00:36:13,326
but I will if I have to.
651
00:36:15,873 --> 00:36:17,773
Okay.
Okay.
652
00:36:20,745 --> 00:36:23,236
Really?
I fired him.
653
00:36:23,748 --> 00:36:25,978
You fired Holling?
Uh-huh.
654
00:36:26,817 --> 00:36:27,875
Why?
655
00:36:28,286 --> 00:36:30,481
I'm going back
to my old partner.
656
00:36:30,988 --> 00:36:33,149
But I thought you said
Holling moved like an elk.
657
00:36:33,691 --> 00:36:35,215
He moves nice.
658
00:36:36,427 --> 00:36:38,827
It's his stillness
that's not good.
659
00:36:39,764 --> 00:36:40,753
Huh.
660
00:36:43,634 --> 00:36:44,623
Hmm.
661
00:36:47,338 --> 00:36:48,327
Hmm.
662
00:36:53,244 --> 00:36:54,768
Hey, Maurice,
can I talk to you?
663
00:36:54,845 --> 00:36:58,542
Now, just hold your cookies, Fleischman.
We'll get your two extra Jews...
664
00:36:58,616 --> 00:37:01,744
if I have to call a couple of
high-priced lawyers I know in Anchorage...
665
00:37:01,819 --> 00:37:04,982
and get them to fly up here and
work on my will or something.
666
00:37:05,056 --> 00:37:08,048
Yeah, that's the thing. I
need you to call off the hunt.
667
00:37:08,125 --> 00:37:09,149
What?
668
00:37:09,227 --> 00:37:13,493
I know everyone's gone to all this trouble
and I really appreciate it. I just...
669
00:37:13,564 --> 00:37:15,532
It's not happening for me.
670
00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:17,932
Just what the hell
is that supposed to mean?
671
00:37:18,002 --> 00:37:22,132
Well, I don't feel like I can say
Kaddish with a bunch of hired guns.
672
00:37:22,240 --> 00:37:24,640
Hired guns? These are
your people, Fleischman.
673
00:37:24,709 --> 00:37:26,108
I know, Maurice,
they're Jews.
674
00:37:26,177 --> 00:37:28,907
But, I don't know them, you know,
and they don't know me. It's-
675
00:37:28,980 --> 00:37:32,438
What, you don't like the Jews I got you?
What do you need, New Yorkers or what?
676
00:37:32,516 --> 00:37:34,507
No. Look...
677
00:37:35,853 --> 00:37:38,617
The way I feel about my uncle
is a very private thing, okay?
678
00:37:38,689 --> 00:37:41,988
So I don't feel like I can open up
to a bunch of people I don't know...
679
00:37:42,059 --> 00:37:44,721
no matter who they are. Especially
if you're paying them to be here.
680
00:37:45,162 --> 00:37:49,963
Fleischman, you've done some half-assed
and stupid things since you've been here...
681
00:37:50,034 --> 00:37:53,299
but I've understood them,
well, somewhat anyway.
682
00:37:53,704 --> 00:37:56,571
But this? Boy,
you've stumped the band now.
683
00:37:56,641 --> 00:38:00,577
You're in a league of your
own, son. This takes the cake.
684
00:38:01,312 --> 00:38:03,075
These Miller boys, they cut
easy, when we get inside...
685
00:38:03,147 --> 00:38:04,478
what are you gonna do?
Go upstairs.
686
00:38:04,548 --> 00:38:05,640
What are you gonna do?
Go upstairs.
687
00:38:05,716 --> 00:38:07,240
All right, I want you to cut
him here, slash him here...
688
00:38:07,318 --> 00:38:09,013
blind him with his own blood,
then what?
689
00:38:09,086 --> 00:38:10,519
Get behind him,
grab him by the plums...
690
00:38:10,588 --> 00:38:11,782
and pull them down
as hard as I can.
691
00:38:11,856 --> 00:38:13,448
All right, all right,
all right, take these off.
692
00:38:13,924 --> 00:38:15,255
Come on,
stay frosty, man.
693
00:38:15,660 --> 00:38:17,628
You ready, Stevens?
Yeah, let's go.
694
00:38:17,695 --> 00:38:20,095
All right, Bernard, take jarhead
here. Watch out now, he kicks.
695
00:38:20,164 --> 00:38:22,997
Yeah, I have one question
before we start here.
696
00:38:23,067 --> 00:38:24,261
Yeah, what's that?
697
00:38:24,335 --> 00:38:26,667
I realize I'm kind
of new at this...
698
00:38:26,737 --> 00:38:28,500
but what do we do
afterwards?
699
00:38:28,572 --> 00:38:31,803
After? After what?
After the fight.
700
00:38:32,009 --> 00:38:34,443
I mean, from what
I've been able to observe...
701
00:38:34,512 --> 00:38:37,743
this fight has been a major
catalyst to our existence...
702
00:38:37,815 --> 00:38:41,114
and perhaps the thing that's
gotten you through the darker days.
703
00:38:41,852 --> 00:38:42,944
Right.
Right.
704
00:38:43,020 --> 00:38:46,387
Look, I'm just along for
the ride. Totally expendable.
705
00:38:46,857 --> 00:38:50,156
But it seems to me you guys
really need each other.
706
00:38:50,494 --> 00:38:52,394
Wait, wait a second,
what you're saying is...
707
00:38:52,496 --> 00:38:54,862
our mutual enmity
is what defines us?
708
00:38:54,932 --> 00:38:59,164
Exactly. Take it away and what
do you have to get up to...
709
00:38:59,603 --> 00:39:00,695
in the morning?
710
00:39:04,241 --> 00:39:07,301
Be like taking away a wall we've
been leaning against our whole lives.
711
00:39:08,646 --> 00:39:10,307
Yeah, we'd just fall over.
712
00:39:15,786 --> 00:39:16,775
Huh.
713
00:39:16,954 --> 00:39:18,012
Yeah.
714
00:39:18,089 --> 00:39:20,580
What? We're not fighting?
715
00:39:20,758 --> 00:39:21,986
Get in the car, Tommy.
716
00:39:22,059 --> 00:39:24,857
Look, I can't believe this!
Get in the car, Tommy!
717
00:39:27,365 --> 00:39:28,593
Damn it all!
718
00:39:28,666 --> 00:39:31,965
Still hate your guts,
Stevens. Same here, baby.
719
00:39:50,755 --> 00:39:52,052
You okay?
720
00:39:52,623 --> 00:39:54,352
Can't help wondering
what might have been.
721
00:39:56,260 --> 00:39:59,195
What? You mean the old fist
to the face or vice versa?
722
00:39:59,764 --> 00:40:03,564
Yeah. My big chance to feel
pain and inflict bodily injury...
723
00:40:03,901 --> 00:40:05,198
and I send them packing.
724
00:40:06,337 --> 00:40:08,328
All right, I'll tell you
what I want you to do.
725
00:40:08,406 --> 00:40:11,273
I want you to take one crack,
right here, best you got.
726
00:40:14,612 --> 00:40:16,045
Nah, let's go eat.
727
00:40:16,981 --> 00:40:18,175
All right.
728
00:40:42,006 --> 00:40:43,803
Excellent gumbo, Ed.
729
00:40:43,874 --> 00:40:45,774
It's an old Tlingit recipe.
730
00:40:46,010 --> 00:40:49,207
I've got to have some more
of that blackened coho.
731
00:40:51,482 --> 00:40:54,883
Let's hear it for Couple 11,
Tom and Mary Barker. Barker.
732
00:40:58,055 --> 00:41:00,250
Our next finalists, Couple 24,
733
00:41:00,324 --> 00:41:03,350
Marilyn Whirlwind
and Robert Livingston.
734
00:42:06,724 --> 00:42:08,191
He's pretty short.
735
00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:11,152
Good stillness, though.
736
00:42:40,291 --> 00:42:43,454
First thing I would like to say is, I
just would like to thank all of you...
737
00:42:43,527 --> 00:42:45,859
for trying to get me
a minyan this week...
738
00:42:47,431 --> 00:42:49,296
and even though
I pulled the plug...
739
00:42:49,433 --> 00:42:53,870
I just would really like you to
know that I am incredibly grateful.
740
00:42:54,238 --> 00:42:57,036
Which brings me to the second thing
I would like to say, which is...
741
00:42:57,107 --> 00:42:59,974
I'm no rabbi,
but it seems to me...
742
00:43:00,044 --> 00:43:02,774
that the purpose
of saying a Kaddish is...
743
00:43:03,814 --> 00:43:06,078
to be with your community.
744
00:43:06,216 --> 00:43:10,516
And what I realized
this week is that...
745
00:43:14,725 --> 00:43:16,283
well, you're my community.
746
00:43:19,229 --> 00:43:21,220
So if you'll just
bear with me.
747
00:43:34,144 --> 00:43:35,202
Ed?
748
00:43:35,279 --> 00:43:37,747
You want we should all wear
beanies, Dr. Fleischman?
749
00:43:38,082 --> 00:43:40,209
No, that's not necessary.
750
00:43:41,719 --> 00:43:44,688
I'll just say the prayer and then
we can all head over to The Brick.
751
00:43:44,755 --> 00:43:48,589
Holling has graciously arranged
to have a cold cut buffet and...
752
00:43:50,194 --> 00:43:51,491
we can all have a little nosh.
753
00:43:53,330 --> 00:43:55,389
None of you knew
my Uncle Manny.
754
00:43:57,368 --> 00:44:00,929
I think the only thing that's
important to say is that...
755
00:44:02,906 --> 00:44:04,601
he was a good man.
756
00:44:05,309 --> 00:44:06,867
I loved him very much.
757
00:44:10,247 --> 00:44:12,841
Maybe when I say the Kaddish,
you can think about someone...
758
00:44:12,916 --> 00:44:14,816
in your own life
who you loved...
759
00:44:14,885 --> 00:44:18,946
and, you know, feel free to say a
prayer in your own way if you'd like.
760
00:44:18,996 --> 00:44:23,546
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
59437
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.