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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:00,557 Is there anything I can do for you, monsieur? 2 00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:02,956 No. No, no. 3 00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:13,630 Yes, monsieur? 4 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,393 Just looking around. 5 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:35,434 Comrades, why should we lie to each other? It's wonderful. 6 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:38,194 Let's be honest. Have we anything like it in Russia? 7 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:39,395 8 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:42,313 Can you imagine what the beds would be in a hotel like that? 9 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:44,869 They tell me when you ring once, the valet comes in. 10 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:46,838 When you ring twice, you get a waiter. 11 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,719 And do you know what happens when you ring three times? 12 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:52,838 A maid comes in. A French maid. 13 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:56,880 Comrades, if we ring nine times- Let's go in. 14 00:02:57,040 --> 00:02:58,189 Just a minute. 15 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:00,960 I have nothing against the idea, but I still say... 16 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:03,031 ...let's go back to the Hotel Terminus. 17 00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:06,710 Moscow made our reservations there. We are on an official mission... 18 00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:09,713 ...and we have no right to change the orders of our superiors. 19 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:11,518 Where is your courage, Buljanoff? 20 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:14,035 Are you the Buljanoff who fought on the barricades? 21 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:16,316 Now you are afraid to take a room with a bath? 22 00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:19,677 - I don't want to go to Siberia. - I don't want to go to Hotel Terminus. 23 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:21,234 And I don't want to... 24 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:24,438 - No, no. - Listen to me. 25 00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:27,439 Look, Buljanoff, if Lenin were alive, he would say: 26 00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:30,359 “Buljanoff, comrade, for once in your life, you're in Paris. 27 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:32,915 Don't be a fool. Go in there and ring three times." 28 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:34,115 He wouldn't say that. 29 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:37,318 What he would say is: "You can't afford to live in a cheap hotel. 30 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:40,313 Doesn't the prestige of the Bolsheviks mean anything to you? 31 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:42,039 Do you want to live in a hotel... 32 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:44,709 ...where you press for the hot water and cold comes... 33 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:47,633 ...and when you press for cold water, nothing comes at all?" 34 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:49,074 Phooey, Buljanoff. 35 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:51,959 I still say our place is with the common people. 36 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:55,192 But who am I to contradict Lenin? Let's go in. 37 00:03:58,040 --> 00:03:59,713 - Are you the manager? - Yes, monsieur. 38 00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:01,911 Pardon me for introducing Comrade Iranoff... 39 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:04,276 -...member of the Russian Board of Trade. - Monsieur. 40 00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:06,192 - This is Comrade Kopalski. - Monsieur. 41 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:08,158 - And I am Comrade Buljanoff. - Monsieur. 42 00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:10,550 May I ask you how much your rooms are? 43 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:13,234 Well, gentlemen, I'm afraid our rates are rather high. 44 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,391 Why should you be afraid? Heh. 45 00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:18,190 I might be able to accommodate you. 46 00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:19,993 - Is there some more luggage? Yes. 47 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,231 But have you a safe big enough to hold this? 48 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:25,279 I'm afraid we have no boxes of that size in the vault... 49 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:28,239 -...but there's a suite with a private safe. - That's even better. 50 00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:31,313 - But, gentlemen, I'm afraid- - He's always afraid. 51 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,676 I just wanted to explain. 52 00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:35,478 The apartment may suit your convenience... 53 00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:38,029 ...but I doubt whether it will fit your convictions. 54 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:40,032 - It's the royal suite. - The royal suite? 55 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:41,315 Just a minute. 56 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:45,553 Comrades, I warn you, if it gets out in Moscow that we stay in the royal suite... 57 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:47,114 ...we'll get into terrible trouble. 58 00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:49,669 We just tell them we had to do it on account of the safe. 59 00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:52,593 That's a perfect excuse. There was no other safe big enough. 60 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:54,797 - That's right. - That's fine. 61 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:56,917 Of course, we could take out the pieces... 62 00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:59,913 ...and distribute them in three or four boxes in the vault... 63 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:01,434 ...and take a small room. 64 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:04,672 - That's an idea, isn't it? - Yes, that's an idea. 65 00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:06,558 But who said we have to have an idea? 66 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:08,757 - That's right. Ha-ha-ha. - That's very good. 67 00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:12,113 - Give us the royal suite. - Step this way, please. 68 00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:34,035 69 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,635 Please connect me with Mercier. Yes, the jeweler. 70 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:43,799 Hell--? Hello? No, I want to speak to Monsieur Mercier personally. 71 00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:45,359 72 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:46,954 Hello, Monsieur Mercier? 73 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:49,794 This is Iranoff, member of the Russian Board of Trade. 74 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:53,794 Yes, we arrived this morning. Oh, thank you very, very much. 75 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:56,349 Yes, we have everything here. The necklace too. 76 00:05:56,520 --> 00:05:59,558 All 14 pieces at the... What? 77 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:01,752 No, Monsieur Mercier. 78 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:06,033 The court jewels of the Grand Duchess Swana consisted of 14 pieces. 79 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,077 Why don't you check on that? 80 00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:11,073 Of course, we have all the necessary credentials. 81 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:14,639 Will you take care of the royal suite? I'll be back in 10 minutes. 82 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:17,269 - All right, Rakonin. - Thank you very much. Thank you. 83 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:20,110 -8 rue de Chalon. - Yeah, monsieur. 84 00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:42,474 - Hello, Leon. - Moming, Swana. 85 00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:45,280 It's really a wretched morning. Wretched. I can't get myself right. 86 00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:47,351 I wanted to look mellow and I look brittle. 87 00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:49,989 My face doesn't compose well. It's all highlights. 88 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,913 How can I dim myself down, Leon? Suggest something. 89 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:56,869 Oh, I'm so bored with this face. I wish I had someone else's face. 90 00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:59,077 Whose face would you have if you had your choice? 91 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:01,709 Oh, well, I guess one gets the face one deserves. 92 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:03,871 There's one marvelous advantage to your conversation. 93 00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:06,793 However many questions you ask, you never expect an answer. 94 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,553 - Don't you find that restful? - Mm-hm. 95 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,109 - Good morning, darling. - Good morning. 96 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:14,551 - Why didn't you come last night? - Darling, I was looking after your interests. 97 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:15,755 Did you win? 98 00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:18,196 We can forget horse racing, roulette, everything. 99 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:22,035 Our worries are over. You remember the platinum watch with the diamond numbers? 100 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:26,433 - You'll be in a position to give it to me now. - Oh, darling, you're so good to me. 101 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:31,194 We could be rich, if you say the word. I had dinner with the Guizots last night. 102 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:33,397 - Those awful newspaper people? - You'd be surprised... 103 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:37,758 -...how many nice people dine with the Guizots. - Gruesome proof of the power of the press. 104 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:40,753 I sold Monsieur Guizot the idea of publishing your memoirs... 105 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:42,593 -...in the Gazette Parisienne. - What? 106 00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:44,876 The Life and Loves of the Grand Duchess Swans. 107 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:46,075 Oh, Leon. 108 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:49,756 We won't have to worry about our future if you're willing to raffle off your past. 109 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:50,910 110 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:52,400 Come in. 111 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:58,392 Count Rakonin asks the privilege of a few words, Your Highness. 112 00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:01,120 - Rakonin? - He's a waiter at the Clarence, poor devil. 113 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:02,475 - You know him. - Oh, yes. 114 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:04,711 I won't be able to see him for half an hour. 115 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:07,196 The count says if it could be as soon as possible. 116 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:09,590 It's luncheon time, and he's just between courses. 117 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,074 I'll see him right away. 118 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:15,393 - I can't get myself right today-- - Count Rakonin's between courses. 119 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:18,757 - My little Volga, mwah, boatman. - Mm. 120 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:23,754 - How do you do, my friend? Won't you sit? - Your Highness. 121 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,958 - Your Highness, forgive this intrusion- - Have you lost your job? 122 00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:29,316 No, madame. Something of the utmost importance. 123 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:31,517 - It concerns your jewels. - My jewels? 124 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:34,433 I remember one birthday of His Majesty, our beloved Czar... 125 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:36,477 ...I had the honor of being on guard. 126 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:41,032 I still see you bending before His Majesty. You wore your diadem and a necklace. 127 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:45,276 - Why do you bring this up now? - They are here. Your jewels, here in Paris. 128 00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:49,320 - AIexis, do you know what you're saying? - This morning, three Soviet agents arrived. 129 00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:52,393 I overheard a telephone conversation with Mercier, the jeweler. 130 00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:55,234 - They're going to sell them. - Did I hear something about jewels? 131 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:57,516 Rakonin has just given me the most amazing news. 132 00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:00,394 You know Count d'AIgout. I must call my lawyer at once. 133 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:03,991 - I'm sorry, Your Highness. I have to leave. - Thank you. I'll get in touch with you. 134 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:05,753 - Hello. Balzac, 2769. - Au revoir. 135 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:07,240 Au revoir. 136 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:09,670 This is Swana. 137 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:13,515 I want to speak to Monsieur Cornillon. It's very important. Get him right away. 138 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:18,830 Hello, Monsieur Cornillon? The most incredible thing has happened. My jewels are in Paris. 139 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:21,196 Three Bolshevik swine are trying to sell them. 140 00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:23,112 Yes. Yes. 141 00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:26,830 Now, we must act immediately. Call the police, have them arrested. 142 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:28,917 Well, then get an injunction. 143 00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:31,869 But do something, Monsieur Cornillon! 144 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:33,439 But they are my jewels. 145 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:35,352 There must be some way of getting them back. 146 00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:39,309 - What does he say? - But how can there be a question? 147 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:41,949 Are you my lawyer or theirs? 148 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:44,634 Oh. 149 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:48,873 It's all right. Yes, all right, I will call you later. 150 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:51,031 - What did he say? - They're pretty hopeless. 151 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:52,793 There may be a chance, that's all. 152 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,395 The French government has recognized Soviet Russia... 153 00:09:55,560 --> 00:09:58,120 ...and he doubts they will risk a war for my poor sake. 154 00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:01,950 He might be able to make up some kind of a case, but it would cost money. 155 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:05,198 Money, money, that's all they are interested in, those lawyers. 156 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:07,715 Darling, calm down, calm down. Why do you need a lawyer? 157 00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:10,235 Haven't you your little Volga boatman? 158 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:15,230 Very good, excellent, superb. 159 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:18,233 It'd be foolish to belittle the quality of the merchandise... 160 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:21,518 -...but your terms are impossible. - My counteroffer is the maximum. 161 00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:22,790 But Monsieur Mercier-- 162 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:25,429 Gentlemen, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. 163 00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:28,712 We are undertaking this deal only because of the prestige involved. 164 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:32,714 - And, frankly, we're expected to take a loss. - Capitalistic methods. 165 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:35,633 They accumulate millions by taking loss after loss. 166 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:41,232 This is Buljanoff, Iranoff, and Kopalski. 167 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:44,119 Who? Count d'AIgout? 168 00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:46,556 No, that must be a mistake. 169 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:48,791 No, we can't be disturbed. 170 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,674 No else one can meet the figure named by my syndicate. 171 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:54,559 - Not under the present economic conditions. - We can wait. 172 00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:57,553 Do we give the impression of people who are pressed for money? 173 00:10:57,760 --> 00:10:58,795 174 00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:00,473 Let's put our cards on the table. 175 00:11:00,680 --> 00:11:03,149 Right now, there's a Russian commission in New York... 176 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:04,833 ...trying to sell 15 Rembrandts. 177 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,276 There's another mortgaging the oil fields in Baku. 178 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:08,589 You need money quickly. 179 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:13,038 My offer is a very fair one, and doesn't even take advantage of your situation. 180 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:15,077 Just a minute. 181 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:21,550 - Now, listen-- - Just a minute. 182 00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:27,474 - The pieces are all registered. - I know. Thank you so much. Ha-ha-ha. 183 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:31,592 - He is cutting our throat. - What can we do? We have to accept. 184 00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:34,229 Comrades, comrades, don't let's give in so quickly. 185 00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:37,119 After all, we have to uphold the prestige of Russia. 186 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:39,874 All right, let's uphold it for another 10 minutes. 187 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:41,474 Yeah. 188 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:50,032 - We don't want to be disturbed. - My name is d'AIgout. I telephoned. 189 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:51,474 You must come in later. 190 00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:53,836 - I want a word with Mercier. - You can't come in. 191 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:56,833 Monsieur Mercier, may I introduce myself? I'm Leon d'AIgout. 192 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,196 I think had the pleasure of meeting you in your shop. 193 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:02,552 I was admiring the platinum watch with the diamond numbers. 194 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:05,075 - Yes, of course. - You remember, I... 195 00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:07,598 Oh. Glorious, aren't they? 196 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:10,195 - You have no right. - I did not permit you to come in. 197 00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:12,397 I hope you haven't closed this deal. 198 00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:15,757 - It might bring you into trouble. - Who are you and what do you want? 199 00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:19,954 Those jewels are property of the Grand Duchess Swana and were seized illegally. 200 00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:22,839 I am acting for Her Highness. Here is my power of attorney. 201 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,355 You know, Monsieur Mercier, this is all nonsense. 202 00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:28,114 These may have been the jewels of the Grand Duchess Swana... 203 00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:31,113 ...but like all private property, they were confiscated by the State. 204 00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:34,159 We'll leave the problem of ownership to the French courts. 205 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:36,834 Meanwhile, I have filed a petition for an injunction... 206 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,833 ...to prohibit you from either selling or removing the jewels. 207 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,877 Here is a copy. 208 00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:45,510 If there is anything which isn't clear, I shall be glad to explain it. 209 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:51,389 Thank you. Gentlemen, this introduces a new element into our negotiations. 210 00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:54,279 - Until this claim is settled-- - We can call our ambassador. 211 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,590 I give you my word, they were confiscated legally. 212 00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:57,909 That's right. 213 00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:00,196 Hold on, please try to understand my position. 214 00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:02,510 I am not withdrawing. My offer stands. 215 00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:05,433 When you can produce a clear title approved by the courts... 216 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:08,797 ...we can close the deal. Until then, gentlemen, good day. 217 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:11,634 I thought it my duty to warn you. I should have hated... 218 00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:13,791 -...to see you get into trouble. - Thank you. 219 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,474 - I hope you forgive me. - I consider myself very lucky. 220 00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:18,392 - Good day. - Good day, monsieur. 221 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:23,073 - You believe me, I... - Gentlemen, how about a little lunch? 222 00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:25,078 - Will you get out of here? - Yes, get out. 223 00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:27,669 Well, don't look so gloomy. You may have a chance. 224 00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:29,797 - We may have a chance? - That's ridiculous. 225 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:31,234 Yes, a very slim one. 226 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:34,119 I want to be fair. I don't deny that you might have a case. 227 00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:37,318 We haven't anything to discuss with you. We'll talk to a lawyer. 228 00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:39,630 You talk to a lawyer and I'll talk to a judge. 229 00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:41,996 That won't help you. You can't intimidate us. 230 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:44,629 Soviet Russia will put all its might behind this case. 231 00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:47,798 Yes. You think because you represent the former Grand Duchess-- 232 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:50,076 - The Grand Duchess. - The former Grand Duchess. 233 00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:52,754 At any rate, gentlemen, a charming, exquisite woman. 234 00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:56,550 I warn you, if this case comes to trial, it will be before a French court. 235 00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:58,791 And when the Grand Duchess takes the stand- 236 00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:01,918 Go ahead, get her on the witness stand. What can she say? 237 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:03,912 But how will she look? 238 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:06,390 The fashions this spring are very becoming to her. 239 00:14:06,560 --> 00:14:09,791 Gentlemen, the judge will be French, the jury will be French... 240 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:12,156 ...everybody in the courtroom will be French. 241 00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:15,631 Have you ever seen a French court when a beautiful woman sits on the stand... 242 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,757 ...and raises her skirt a little? 243 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:21,635 You sit down and pull up your pants and where would it get you? 244 00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:25,152 I suppose you expect us to hand over the jewels, huh? 245 00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:28,153 Oh, no, I'm not a highwayman, just a nuisance. 246 00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:30,994 All I want to do is make things as difficult as possible. 247 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:35,233 Not that we are giving in one inch, but tell us what is in your mind? 248 00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:36,435 Yeah. 249 00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:38,756 - What about my proposition? - What proposition? 250 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:41,070 I just said, "Let's have some lunch." 251 00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:10,519 - Hey, Sasha, Sergei, Misha. - What? What do you want? 252 00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:11,715 What can we do for you? 253 00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:14,554 That telegram from Moscow, why should you bother about it? 254 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:17,360 - I've written it for you. - Leon, Leonitchka. 255 00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:21,229 - Why are you so good to us? - Why are you so good to us? 256 00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:23,755 That's very nice, boys. Now, wait a minute. 257 00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:26,236 What was the name of that Commissar on the Board of Trade? 258 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:27,435 Razinin. 259 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:29,557 Commissar Razinin, Board of Trade, Moscow. 260 00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:32,394 - You wouldn't like Razinin. - No, he's a bad man. 261 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:35,279 - He sends people to Siberia. - We don't like Razinin. 262 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:36,919 - No. - We don't like him. 263 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:38,878 We like Leon. Don't we like Leon? 264 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:40,553 Yes! 265 00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:46,112 Wait a minute. Now wait a minute, how's this? 266 00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:50,433 "Commissar Razinin, Board of Trade, Moscow. Unexpected situation here. 267 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:52,750 Grand Duchess Swana in Paris, claims jewels... 268 00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:55,753 ...and has already brought injunction against sale or removal. 269 00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:58,116 After long and serious study... 270 00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:00,874 ...we suggest, in the interest of our beloved country... 271 00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:04,960 ...a fifty-fifty settlement as best solution. Iranoff, Buljanoff, and Kopalski." 272 00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:07,589 If we say that, Leon, we'll be sent to Siberia. 273 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:10,513 - And if we have to go to Siberia- - I will send you a muff. 274 00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:13,957 Leon, why are you so good to us? 275 00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:18,710 Comrade waiter! 276 00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:24,317 Why are you so good to us? 277 00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:27,637 Get the champagne to the other room. 278 00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:29,791 That's enough. Go along. 279 00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:33,396 - Take this to the telegraph office at once. - Yes, monsieur. 280 00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:52,233 Hello. Yes, Leon. What is it, Leon? 281 00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:55,995 Oh, you can't hurry such things. You must give Moscow a little time. 282 00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:57,833 There's nothing we can do about it. 283 00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,354 Why don't you drop in later? 284 00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:01,079 Yes, au revoir. 285 00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:03,072 - Misha! - What's the matter? 286 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,959 Telegram from Moscow. It must have been here all day. 287 00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:07,838 "Halt negotiations immediately. 288 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:11,834 Envoy Extraordinary arrives Thursday 5:20 pm. with full power. 289 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:14,674 Your authority canceled herewith. Razinin." 290 00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:16,831 - It is Thursday. - It's 5:00 already. 291 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,310 I always said it would be Siberia. 292 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,718 Give me the desk, please. 293 00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:27,349 This is the royal suite, Iranoff speaking. 294 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:29,909 Listen, a special envoy is coming from Moscow today. 295 00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:31,434 He'll occupy the royal suite. 296 00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:34,069 Move our things to the smallest room you've got. 297 00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:36,277 Yes. Right away, instantly. 298 00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:41,559 Pass, please. 299 00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:49,033 Now this is a fine thing. Maybe we've missed him already. 300 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:52,636 How can we find somebody without knowing what he looks like? 301 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:00,479 That must be the one. 302 00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:04,879 - Yes, he looks like a comrade. - Yes. 303 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:16,280 - No, that's not him. - Positively not. 304 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:19,592 - What are we going to do now? - I don't know. 305 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:25,353 We must have missed him. 306 00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:38,351 I'm looking for Michael Simonovitch Iranoff. 307 00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:40,033 I am Michael Simonovitch Iranoff. 308 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,595 I am Nina Ivanovna Yakushova, Envoy Extraordinary... 309 00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:45,479 ...acting under direct orders of Comrade Commissar Razinin. 310 00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:47,199 Present me to your colleagues. 311 00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:48,680 - Comrade Buljanoff. - Comrade. 312 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:50,638 - Comrade Kopalski. - Comrade. 313 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:54,031 What a charming idea for Moscow to surprise us with a lady comrade. 314 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:56,760 If we had known, we would have greeted you with flowers. 315 00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:58,951 Don't make an issue of my womanhood. 316 00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:02,795 We are here for work, all of us. Let's not waste any time. Shall we go? 317 00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:04,473 Porter, here, please. 318 00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:06,515 What do you want? 319 00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:08,677 - May I have your bags, madame? - Why? 320 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,639 - He is a porter, he wants to carry them. - Why? 321 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:15,270 - Why should you carry other people's bags? - Well, that's my business, madame. 322 00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:18,120 That's no business. That's social injustice. 323 00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:19,469 That depends on the tip. 324 00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:22,678 - Allow me, comrade. - No. No, thank you. 325 00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:25,756 - Ticket, please. - Tickets, please. Tickets. 326 00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:28,909 - How are things in Moscow? - Very good. 327 00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:31,999 The last mass trials were a great success. 328 00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:35,710 There are going to be fewer but better Russians. 329 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:44,355 What's that? 330 00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:46,955 It's a hat, comrade. A woman's hat. 331 00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:48,918 How can such a civilization survive... 332 00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:52,391 ...which permits their women to put things like that on their heads? 333 00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:55,274 It won't be long now, comrades. 334 00:20:56,840 --> 00:21:00,754 This is the apartment we have reserved for you, Comrade Yakushova. 335 00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:02,399 I hope you like it. 336 00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:06,870 Which part of the room is mine? 337 00:21:09,120 --> 00:21:12,078 Heh. You see, comrade, it's a little different here. 338 00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:16,438 They don't rent rooms in pieces. We had to take the whole suite. 339 00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:32,635 - How much does this cost? - Two thousand francs. 340 00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:35,110 - A week? - A day. 341 00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:37,749 Do you know how much a cow costs, Comrade Iranofl'? 342 00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:40,753 - A cow? - Two thousand francs. 343 00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:45,596 If I stay here a week, I will cost the Russian people seven cows. 344 00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:49,599 Who am I to cost the Russian people seven cows? 345 00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:51,797 We had to take it on account of the safe. 346 00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:53,917 For ourselves, we are much happier now... 347 00:21:54,120 --> 00:21:57,750 ...since we moved to a little room right next to the servants' quarters. 348 00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:00,952 I'm ashamed to put a picture of Lenin in a room like this. 349 00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:04,238 - Do you want to be alone, comrade? - No. 350 00:22:06,360 --> 00:22:09,557 Comrades, your telegram was received with great disfavor in Moscow. 351 00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:10,909 We did our best, comrade. 352 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:14,391 I hope so, for your sake. Let's examine the case. 353 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,910 - What does the lawyer say? - Which lawyer? 354 00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:19,230 You didn't get legal advice? 355 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:22,080 We dealt directly with the representative of the Grand Duchess. 356 00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:25,198 I am sure if you call him, he will give you a very clear picture. 357 00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:26,993 I will not repeat your mistake. 358 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:31,074 I will have no dealings with the Grand Duchess nor her representative. 359 00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:39,232 - Comrade Buljanoff? - Yes, comrade? 360 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:42,119 Do you spell Buljanoff with one or two F's? 361 00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:46,194 With two F's, if you please. 362 00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:52,389 Have you some cigarettes? 363 00:22:56,680 --> 00:23:01,072 This is the royal suite. Please send up some cigarettes. Yes. 364 00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:04,350 You just telephone and you get what you want. 365 00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:07,194 That's the capitalistic system. Ha-ha-ha. 366 00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:10,233 Comrades, I am not in a position to pass final judgment. 367 00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:12,755 But at best you've been careless in your duty to the State. 368 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:17,039 You were entrusted with more than a mere sale ofjewelry. 369 00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:20,670 Why are we peddling our precious possessions to the world at this time? 370 00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:24,151 Our next year's crop is in danger and you know it. 371 00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:27,358 Unless we can get foreign currency to buy tractors... 372 00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:29,830 ...there will not be enough bread for our people. 373 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,799 - And you, comrades- - We did it with the best intentions. 374 00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:35,952 We can't feed the Russian people on your intentions. 375 00:23:36,120 --> 00:23:39,238 Fifty percent to a so-called Grand Duchess. 376 00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:41,596 Half of every loaf of bread to our enemy. 377 00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:43,753 - Comrade Kopalski. - Yes, comrade. 378 00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:47,470 Go at once to our embassy and get me the address of the best lawyer in Paris. 379 00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:50,632 - Yes, comrade. - You, Comrade Iranoff, go to the public library... 380 00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:53,394 ...and get me the section of the Civil Code on property. 381 00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:56,234 - Is there anything I can do, comrade? - Yes. 382 00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,869 You might get me an accurate map of Paris. 383 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:02,038 I want to use my spare time to inspect public utilities... 384 00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:05,716 ...and to make a study of all outstanding technical achievements in the city. 385 00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:06,955 Yes, comrade. 386 00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:09,994 Come in. 387 00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:12,993 - Hello. Cigarettes? - Hello. 388 00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:16,073 - Hello. - Hello. 389 00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:24,551 Comrades, you must have been smoking a lot. 390 00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:31,752 Desk. Yes, Monsieur Kopalski. 391 00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:33,877 You are expecting Count d'AIgout? Uh-huh. 392 00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:36,953 But he is not to go to the royal suite under any circumstances. 393 00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:41,040 He should go to your new room, 985. Thank you, monsieur. 394 00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:05,753 - You, please. - Hm? Me? 395 00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:07,957 Could you give me some information? 396 00:25:08,120 --> 00:25:11,909 - Gladly. - How long must we wait here? 397 00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:15,232 Well, uh, until the policeman blows his whistle again. 398 00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:18,199 - At what intervals does he whistle? - What? 399 00:25:18,360 --> 00:25:21,557 How many minutes between the first and second whistle? 400 00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:25,394 You know, that's very funny. I never thought of that before. 401 00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:27,949 You've never been caught in a similar situation? 402 00:25:28,120 --> 00:25:31,397 Yes, I have. Now that I come to think about it, it's staggering. 403 00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:35,110 Good heavens, if I add it all up, I must have spent years waiting for signals. 404 00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:38,398 Imagine, an important part of my life wasted between whistles. 405 00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:40,597 - In other words, you don't know? - No. 406 00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:44,037 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 407 00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:03,478 Can I be of any assistance to you? 408 00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:05,711 - You might hold this for me. - I'd love to. 409 00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:07,598 Correct me if I am wrong. 410 00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:11,913 - We are facing north, aren't we? - Facing north? 411 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:15,277 I'd hate to commit myself without my compass. 412 00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:19,399 - Pardon me, are you an explorer? - No, I am looking for the Eiffel Tower. 413 00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:21,949 Good heavens, is that thing lost again? 414 00:26:23,120 --> 00:26:24,838 Oh, are you interested in a view? 415 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,958 I'm interested in the Eiffel Tower from a technical standpoint. 416 00:26:28,120 --> 00:26:29,235 Technical? 417 00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:32,080 No, I'm afraid I couldn't be of much help from that angle. 418 00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:35,471 A Parisian only goes to the tower in moments of despair to jump off. 419 00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:38,280 How long does it take a man to land? 420 00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:43,274 Now isn't that too bad? The last time I jumped, I forgot to time it. 421 00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:46,876 Let me see now, the Eiffel Tower... Ah. 422 00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:48,673 Your finger, please. 423 00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:53,710 - Why do you need my finger? - It's bad manners to point with your own. 424 00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:56,996 There, the Eiffel Tower. 425 00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:58,309 And where are we? 426 00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:00,676 Where are we? Now, let me see. Where are we? 427 00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:02,114 Oh, here we are. 428 00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:04,920 There you are and here am I. 429 00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:06,150 Feel“? 430 00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:09,915 I'm interested only in the shortest distance between these two points. 431 00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:12,993 - Must you flirt? - Well, I don't have to, but I find it natural. 432 00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:15,595 - Suppress it. - I'll try. 433 00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:16,989 For my own information... 434 00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:20,516 ...would you call your approach toward me typical of the local morale? 435 00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:23,194 It is that approach which has made Paris what it is. 436 00:27:23,360 --> 00:27:25,271 You're very sure of yourself, aren't you? 437 00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:28,034 Nothing's happened recently to shake my self-confidence. 438 00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:31,352 I have heard of the arrogant male in capitalistic society. 439 00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:35,036 It is having a superior earning power that makes you that way. 440 00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:38,272 A Russian. I love Russians. 441 00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:42,877 Comrade, I've been fascinated by your Five-Year Plan for the last 15 years. 442 00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:46,431 Your type will soon be extinct. 443 00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:51,917 Taxi! 444 00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:18,189 Can you tell me the exact width of the foundation... 445 00:28:18,360 --> 00:28:22,194 -...on which these piers are resting? - You don't have to worry. The thing is safe. 446 00:28:22,360 --> 00:28:25,239 - I am not afraid- -"The foundation is 141 yards square." 447 00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:27,869 - I hope you'll forgive me, but I thought- - Go on. 448 00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:31,351 Ahem. "Four massive pieces of masonry are sunk to a depth of 46 feet... 449 00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:34,234 ...on the side of the Seine, and 29.5 feet on the other side. 450 00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:37,353 The girders of interlaced ironwork, which stay the structure... 451 00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:39,318 ...have an inclination of 54 degrees." 452 00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:41,596 - That's a strange angle. - Yes, very strange. 453 00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:45,196 "Ascending to the first platform is a staircase consisting of... 454 00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:49,149 ...829 steps. 455 00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:54,192 And an additional 254 steps to the very top. 456 00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:57,034 There's an elevator included in the price of admission." 457 00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:00,118 It'll take you hours to walk up there. 458 00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:02,510 The elevator will get you up in three minutes. 459 00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:36,673 You gave me some very valuable information. Thank you. 460 00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:41,870 Thank you for getting me up here. I've never seen this before. 461 00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:44,793 - Beautiful, isn't it? - Yes, it is. 462 00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:47,793 I'm glad I saw it before becoming extinct. 463 00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:52,033 Now don't misunderstand me. I do not hold your frivolity against you. 464 00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:54,794 As basic material, you may not be bad. 465 00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:57,998 But you are the unfortunate product of a doomed culture. 466 00:29:58,160 --> 00:29:59,878 I feel very sorry for you. 467 00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:03,396 Aw, but you must admit that this doomed old civilization sparkles. 468 00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:05,870 Look at it. It glitters. 469 00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:09,874 I do not deny its beauty, but it's a waste of electricity. 470 00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:11,360 What a city. 471 00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:14,956 There are the grand boulevards blasted out of the heart of the old city. 472 00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:17,800 The Arc de Triomphe, built to greet Napoleon's army. 473 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:21,277 The Opera. Montparnasse. Montmartre. 474 00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:26,752 And now, I'll show you the greatest attraction of all. 475 00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:29,309 It'll cost me a franc, but it's worth it. 476 00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:32,472 The most unique spot in all Paris. Really, I'm not exaggerating. 477 00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:35,513 It's wonderful. It's charming. It's... Ah. 478 00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:37,239 Please. 479 00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:41,753 What do you see? 480 00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:45,390 I see a house. Looks like any other house. 481 00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:48,359 - What's remarkable about it? - Oh, it's not the structure. 482 00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:50,830 It's the spirit that dwells within it. 483 00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:54,152 It has three rooms and a kitchenette dedicated to hospitality. 484 00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:57,870 - So it's your house? Mm. - Well, let's say I live in it. 485 00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:01,357 It's such a pleasant little place. It has all the comforts. 486 00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:03,955 Easy to reach, near the subway, bus, and streetcar- 487 00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:07,511 - Does it mean you want me to go there? - Now, please, don't misunderstand me. 488 00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:09,876 - Then you don't want me to go there? - No, no, no. 489 00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:12,509 I didn't say that either. Nothing would please me more. 490 00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:14,393 Then why don't we go? 491 00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:17,956 You might be an interesting subject of study. 492 00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:20,240 PM do my best. 493 00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:29,713 - Good evening, Gaston. - Good evening. 494 00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:32,156 - Is this what you call the "butler"? - Yes. 495 00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:34,038 Good evening, comrade. 496 00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:37,312 This man is very old. You shouldn't make him work. 497 00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:40,711 - He takes good care of that. - He looks sad. Do you whip him? 498 00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:43,030 No, but the mere thought makes my mouth water. 499 00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:45,396 The day will come when you will be free. 500 00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:49,190 Go to bed, little father. We want to be alone. 501 00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:51,271 Please. 502 00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:54,314 Count d'AIgout, there have been several telephone calls. 503 00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:56,517 Go to bed, little father. 504 00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:16,112 - Now, may I offer you a drink? - Thank you, I'm not thirsty. 505 00:32:16,280 --> 00:32:17,429 Perhaps something to eat. 506 00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:20,114 I've had all the calories necessary for today. 507 00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:21,554 Yes, all the calories. 508 00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:24,155 - What do we do now? - Uh... 509 00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:27,838 - Shall we have some music? - Is that customary? 510 00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:30,196 Mm. It helps. 511 00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:33,512 It has ever since King David wooed Bathsheba with his harp. 512 00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:37,270 Not being so fortunate as to have my harp at hand, I'll turn on the radio. 513 00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:51,749 If there's anything you'd like to study, please go ahead. I've nothing to conceal. 514 00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:55,038 This is my desk, these are my books, and here am I. 515 00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:56,310 Where shall we begin? 516 00:32:56,480 --> 00:32:58,756 - I will start with you. - Excellent. 517 00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:01,992 Now, let's see, I'm 35 years old, just over 6 feet tall... 518 00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:04,549 ...and weigh 182 pounds, stripped. 519 00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:08,270 - What is your profession? - My profession? 520 00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:11,353 Mmm. Keeping my body fit, keeping my mind alert... 521 00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:14,399 ...and keeping the landlord appeased, that's a full-time job. 522 00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:18,235 - And what do you do for mankind? - For mankind? 523 00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:22,280 Yes, uh, not so much for mankind. 524 00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:25,751 But for womankind, my record isn't quite so bleak. 525 00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:28,389 You are something we do not have in Russia. 526 00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:30,392 Thank you. Glad you told me. 527 00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:33,359 That's why I believe in the future of my country. 528 00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:41,749 I'm beginning to believe in it myself since I've met you. 529 00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:48,269 I still don't quite know what it's all about. It confuses me, frightens me. 530 00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:51,470 But it fascinates me. 531 00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:54,038 Ninotchka... 532 00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:56,796 ...do you like me just a little bit? 533 00:33:56,960 --> 00:34:00,794 Your general appearance is not distasteful. 534 00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:02,633 Thank you. 535 00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:05,394 The whites of your eyes are clear. 536 00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:07,796 Your cornea is excellent. 537 00:34:10,720 --> 00:34:13,360 Your cornea is terrific. 538 00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:17,635 Ninotchka, tell me. You're so expert on things. 539 00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:22,431 - Can it be that I'm falling in love with you? - Why must you bring in wrong values? 540 00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:26,434 Love is a romantic designation for a most ordinary biological... 541 00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:28,432 ...or, shall we say, chemical process. 542 00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:31,114 A lot of nonsense is talked and written about it. 543 00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:32,839 Oh, I see. 544 00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:34,354 What do you use instead? 545 00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:39,720 I acknowledge the existence of a natural impulse common to all. 546 00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:42,838 What can I possibly do to encourage such an impulse in you? 547 00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:45,071 You don't have to do a thing. 548 00:34:45,240 --> 00:34:48,790 Chemically, we are already quite sympathetic. 549 00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:51,874 You are the most incredible creature I've ever met. 550 00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:53,838 Ninotchka- Ninotchka- 551 00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:55,638 You repeat yourself. 552 00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:58,314 Yes, I'd like to say it a thousand times. 553 00:34:58,720 --> 00:35:01,155 You must forgive me if I seem a little old-fashioned. 554 00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:04,915 - After all, I'm just a poor bourgeois. - It's never too late to change. 555 00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:07,430 I used to belong to the petite bourgeoisie myself. 556 00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:08,635 557 00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:11,553 My father and mother wanted me to stay and work on the farm. 558 00:35:11,720 --> 00:35:14,951 - But I preferred the bayonet. - The bayonet? Did you really? 559 00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:18,158 - I was wounded before Warsaw. - Wounded, how? 560 00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:21,153 I was a sergeant in the Third Cavalry Brigade. 561 00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:22,958 Would you like to see my wound? 562 00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:26,912 I'd love to. 563 00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:36,959 - A Polish lancer. I was 16. - Poor Ninotchka. Poor, poor Ninotchka. 564 00:35:37,120 --> 00:35:42,513 Don't pity me. Pity the Polish lancer. After all, I'm still alive. 565 00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:46,754 - What kind of a girl are you, anyway? - Just what you see. 566 00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:49,992 A tiny cog in the great wheel of evolution. 567 00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,834 You're the most adorable cog I've ever seen. 568 00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:55,270 Ninotchka, let me confess something. 569 00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:58,990 Never did I dream I could feel like this toward a sergeant. 570 00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:04,156 Did you hear that? 571 00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:08,833 - It's 12:00. - It's midnight. 572 00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:12,356 Look at the clock. One hand has met the other hand. They kiss. 573 00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:13,755 Isn't that wonderful? 574 00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:16,673 That's the way a clock works. What's wonderful about it? 575 00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:18,194 Ninotchka, it's midnight. 576 00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:21,074 One half of Paris is making love to the other half. 577 00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:23,954 You merely feel you must put yourself in a romantic mood... 578 00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:27,551 -...to add to your exhilaration. - I can't possibly think of any better reason. 579 00:36:27,720 --> 00:36:31,076 - That's false sentimentality. - Oh, you analyze everything out of existence. 580 00:36:31,240 --> 00:36:33,800 You'd analyze me out of existence, but I won't let you. 581 00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:38,836 Love isn't so simple, Ninotchka. Ninotchka, why do doves bill and coo? 582 00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:41,799 Why do snails, the coldest of all creatures... 583 00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:44,474 ...circle interminably around each other? 584 00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:47,240 Why do moths fly hundreds of miles to find their mates? 585 00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:50,233 Why do flowers slowly open their petals? 586 00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:55,679 Oh, Ninotchka, surely you feel some slight symptom of the divine passion? 587 00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:59,196 A general warmth in the palms of your hands. 588 00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:02,233 A strange heaviness in your limbs. 589 00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:04,391 A burning of the lips that isn't thirst... 590 00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:08,599 ...but something a thousand times more tantalizing, more exalting than thirst. 591 00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:12,111 You are very talkative. 592 00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:23,119 Was that talkative? 593 00:37:23,280 --> 00:37:25,510 No. That was restful. 594 00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:27,635 Again. 595 00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:38,753 Thank you. 596 00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:41,673 Oh, my barbaric Ninotchka... 597 00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:45,117 ...my impossible, unromantic, statistical-- 598 00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:54,910 Again. 599 00:37:57,240 --> 00:37:59,436 - The telephone is ringing. - Let it ring. 600 00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:02,240 One of your friends may be in need of you. You must answer. 601 00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:11,914 602 00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:14,549 Yes. What? 603 00:38:14,720 --> 00:38:20,318 Oh, yes. Well, I'm sorry. I couldn't make it. No, I ran into an old friend from the Army. 604 00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:23,638 What? The whole deal is off? Are you crazy, Buljanoff? 605 00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:26,829 Oh, oh. A special envoy arrived. 606 00:38:27,240 --> 00:38:30,551 Hm? I'll be glad to see her whenever she wants to. 607 00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:33,510 She doesn't want to see me? 608 00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:35,830 What do you know about that? Why? 609 00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:37,954 Uh-huh. 610 00:38:38,280 --> 00:38:41,272 Well, I'll get in touch with her myself. What's her name? 611 00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:43,273 Huh? "Ya-ku--"? 612 00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:46,592 Good heavens, these Russian names. How do you spell it? 613 00:38:47,360 --> 00:38:50,398 Oh, "Y." 614 00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:53,916 Y-A... 615 00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:56,754 "Yakushova." 616 00:38:56,920 --> 00:38:58,797 Thanks. 617 00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:08,074 Yakushova Ninotchka. 618 00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:09,793 Yes, all right, thank you. 619 00:39:20,120 --> 00:39:22,430 - Ninotchka. - I must go. 620 00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:25,433 Or should I say "Special Envoy Yakushova"? 621 00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:28,991 - Let's forget we ever met. - No, no, no. I have a much better suggestion. 622 00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:32,790 Let's forget the telephone ever rang. I never heard that you are Yakushova. 623 00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:36,112 You are Ninotchka, my Ninotchka. 624 00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:38,351 I was sent here by my country to fight you. 625 00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:41,951 All right, fight me as much as you want. Only fight me tomorrow morning. 626 00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:44,953 There's nothing sweeter than sharing a secret with an enemy. 627 00:39:45,120 --> 00:39:47,680 You represent White Russia and I represent Red Russia. 628 00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:50,116 Tonight let's not represent anybody but ourselves. 629 00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:51,515 It is out of the question. 630 00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:53,830 - If you wish to approach me- - You know I want to. 631 00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:55,513 Then do it through my lawyer. 632 00:39:55,680 --> 00:39:57,717 But, Ninotchka, you can't walk out like this. 633 00:39:57,880 --> 00:39:59,075 I am crazy about you. 634 00:39:59,240 --> 00:40:02,676 I thought I'd made an impression on you. You liked the white of my eye. 635 00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:05,639 - I must go. - Ninotchka. 636 00:40:05,840 --> 00:40:07,638 I held you in my arms. 637 00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:10,391 You kissed me. 638 00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:14,555 I kissed a Polish lancer too... 639 00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:17,149 ...before he died. 640 00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:27,999 Yes, Marianne darling. 641 00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:30,754 No, you didn't waken me. I'm not only up, I'm on my way out. 642 00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:33,196 Yes, I want to catch Leon before he rushes out... 643 00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:35,431 ...and loses himself in my business affairs. 644 00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:38,194 Oh, everything was going perfectly until three days ago... 645 00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:40,749 ...when some horrid female envoy arrived from Moscow. 646 00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:42,274 We don't know where we are. 647 00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:45,398 I'll telephone you tonight, darling. Goodbye, dear. 648 00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:48,759 I seem to remember some additional injunctive provision... 649 00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:51,793 ...dealing with the property of foreigners residing in France. 650 00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:55,999 You are referring to Paragraph 598, Section 25F of the Civil Code. 651 00:40:57,160 --> 00:41:00,152 Page 824. 652 00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:05,952 And do not fail to read the three footnotes. While you are studying it, I will eat. 653 00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:23,710 - Where to, madame? - Can you recommend a restaurant? 654 00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:25,791 There's Grenier if you care for seafood. 655 00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:27,593 - Where do you eat? - At Pére Mathieu. 656 00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:29,956 - Where is that? - It's just a place for workmen. 657 00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:32,430 - Where is it? - Down eight blocks, rue de Provelles. 658 00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:33,954 Thank you. 659 00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:51,953 Are you alone, madame? A nice little corner table? 660 00:41:52,120 --> 00:41:54,111 Or perhaps by the window would be better? 661 00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:55,719 This way, madame. 662 00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:04,556 I think this is the first time you've been in my place. 663 00:42:04,720 --> 00:42:06,950 Your face is new to me. 664 00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:11,359 - Now what shall it be? - Raw beets and carrots. 665 00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:13,670 Madame, this is a restaurant, not a meadow. 666 00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:16,793 Here's what we are offering today. Please make your choice. 667 00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:20,919 I'm sure you will find something to tempt your appetite. 668 00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:34,956 Well, for goodness sake, hello. 669 00:42:35,120 --> 00:42:37,634 It certainly is a small world, isn't it? 670 00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:43,158 Well, madame, shall we start with soup? Fish soup today. 671 00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:45,391 I got up at 5 to fish them from the Seine. 672 00:42:45,560 --> 00:42:47,995 - Ah, crawfish soup for me. - Very well, monsieur. 673 00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:50,197 Then may I suggest an omelet with mushrooms? 674 00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:52,715 Bring me something simple. I never think about food. 675 00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:55,833 Madame, if you don't think about food, what do you think about? 676 00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:59,880 - The future of the common people. - That's also a question of food. 677 00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:04,113 I will bring you a nice little lunch, a la Pére Mathieu. 678 00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:14,313 May I say something? 679 00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:16,869 You insulted him, do you know that? You hurt his feelings. 680 00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:19,873 It's just like telling a musician that you don't like music. 681 00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:23,749 Why, that good old man believes in food just as you believe in Karl Marx. 682 00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:27,515 You can't go around hurting people like that, Comrade Yakushova. 683 00:43:28,760 --> 00:43:30,751 But you can make it up to him. Do you know how? 684 00:43:30,960 --> 00:43:33,873 By eating everything that he brings you with relish... 685 00:43:34,040 --> 00:43:35,758 ...drinking everything with gusto... 686 00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:38,554 ...by having a good time for the first time in your life. 687 00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:41,149 - I don't like you following me. - I didn't follow you. 688 00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:43,277 - How did you get here? - I always eat here. 689 00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:44,999 This is a place for working men. 690 00:43:45,160 --> 00:43:48,596 But my dear child, I am most at home among working men. 691 00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:51,912 I hate those places where you circulate, the Clarence Hotel and those places. 692 00:43:52,080 --> 00:43:53,718 This is my natural element. 693 00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:56,110 After all, what are any of us? Working men. 694 00:43:56,320 --> 00:43:58,550 At least, those of us who are worth our salt. 695 00:43:58,720 --> 00:44:00,358 - Hiya! 696 00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:02,599 - Hiya! 697 00:44:02,760 --> 00:44:05,593 - Hiya. - Hiya, boys. How's everything today? 698 00:44:05,760 --> 00:44:08,070 - Is the lunch all right? - Fine. 699 00:44:08,240 --> 00:44:09,674 - Bring up a chair. - I will. 700 00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:13,037 Great bunch of fellows. Aw, my friend, I am happy to see you again. 701 00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:15,396 - I'm always glad to meet a new customer. - Mm-hm. 702 00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:18,951 And I hope this first visit will not be your last one. 703 00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:21,711 He's just an old man. His memory is weak. 704 00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:23,518 What are you after? 705 00:44:23,720 --> 00:44:25,950 Must one always be after something? 706 00:44:26,120 --> 00:44:29,750 Your tactics are useless. I'm not Buljanoff, Iranoff, or Kopalski. 707 00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:31,991 Ninotchka, why must we talk business? 708 00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:34,879 If you win the suit, fine. If we win the suit, better. 709 00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:36,792 You do me an injustice. 710 00:44:37,240 --> 00:44:39,959 Ninotchka, when we first went to my apartment... 711 00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:43,476 ...did I have the slightest idea that you were connected with this deal? 712 00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:44,675 You know now. 713 00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:47,593 I know now that you're a man who employs business methods... 714 00:44:47,760 --> 00:44:50,229 ...which in Russia would be punished by death. 715 00:44:50,720 --> 00:44:53,314 Death. Death, always so glum. 716 00:44:54,720 --> 00:44:58,190 What about life, Ninotchka? Do Russians never think about life? 717 00:44:58,360 --> 00:45:02,593 Of the moment in which we are living? The only moment we ever really have. 718 00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:06,714 Oh, Ninotchka. Don't take things so seriously. Nothing's worth it, really. 719 00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:09,349 Please, relax. 720 00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:11,198 I beg you, sergeant. 721 00:45:11,360 --> 00:45:13,795 - Smile. - What? 722 00:45:13,960 --> 00:45:16,873 - Will you smile? - Why? 723 00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:19,350 - Well, just smile. - At what? 724 00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:20,840 At anything. 725 00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:25,631 At the whole ridiculous spectacle of life, at people being so serious... 726 00:45:25,800 --> 00:45:29,430 ...taking themselves pompously, exaggerating their own importance. 727 00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:32,558 If you can't think of anything else to laugh at, laugh at you and me. 728 00:45:32,720 --> 00:45:34,711 - Why? - Because we're an odd couple. 729 00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:37,030 Then you should go back to your table. 730 00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:39,714 No. No, I can't leave you. I won't, not yet. 731 00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:41,957 Not until I've made you laugh at least once. 732 00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:45,238 - Ha-ha. Now go back to your table. - Oh. 733 00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:47,038 That's not a laugh. 734 00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:49,396 I mean a laugh from the heart. 735 00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:52,353 I know. I'm gonna tell you a funny story. 736 00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:54,392 Now, wait a minute, let me think of one. 737 00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:56,273 Uh, I've got it. 738 00:45:56,840 --> 00:45:59,753 It seems that there were two Frenchmen who went to America- 739 00:45:59,920 --> 00:46:01,911 On which boat? 740 00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:05,440 Let's drop it. 741 00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:08,160 I don't think you'd care very much for that one anyway. 742 00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:10,038 Probably not. 743 00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:12,634 Here's a great one. 744 00:46:18,600 --> 00:46:21,114 Maybe it's not so good. Let's forget it. 745 00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:24,836 - Do you like Scotch stories? - Never heard one. 746 00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:26,320 Well, here. Ahem. 747 00:46:26,480 --> 00:46:28,676 Two Scotchmen met on the street. 748 00:46:28,840 --> 00:46:30,956 And I don't know the name of the street. 749 00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:32,679 It doesn't matter anyway. 750 00:46:32,840 --> 00:46:35,958 One's name was McGillicuddy and the other one's name was McIntosh. 751 00:46:36,120 --> 00:46:38,794 McGillicuddy said to McIntosh, "Hello, Mr. McGillicuddy." 752 00:46:38,960 --> 00:46:41,270 And McGillicuddy- McIntosh said to McGillicuddy: 753 00:46:41,480 --> 00:46:42,675 "Hello, Mr. McGillicuddy." 754 00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:45,559 Then McGillicuddy said to McIntosh, "How is Mrs. McIntosh?" 755 00:46:45,720 --> 00:46:48,599 And McIntosh said to McGillicuddy, "How is Mrs. McGillicuddy?" 756 00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:50,433 I wish they'd never met. 757 00:46:51,800 --> 00:46:53,473 So do I. 758 00:46:54,920 --> 00:46:56,513 How is this one? 759 00:46:57,040 --> 00:47:00,351 Two men are looking at the moon. One of them says to the other: 760 00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:02,989 “Is it true that a lot of people live on the moon?“ 761 00:47:03,160 --> 00:47:05,720 The other one says, “Sure it's true, about 500 million." 762 00:47:05,920 --> 00:47:07,831 Then the first one says: 763 00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:11,834 "Whew. They must be pretty crowded when it's half-moon." 764 00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:16,554 Heh. 765 00:47:18,520 --> 00:47:21,512 - So you don't think that's funny? - No. 766 00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:24,513 It seemed funny to me when I first heard it. 767 00:47:24,680 --> 00:47:27,559 Maybe the trouble isn't with the joke. Maybe it's with you. 768 00:47:27,720 --> 00:47:29,393 I don't think so. 769 00:47:29,960 --> 00:47:31,951 I'll give you one more chance. 770 00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:33,750 Here goes. 771 00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:36,389 When I first heard this joke, I laughed myself sick. 772 00:47:38,880 --> 00:47:39,995 Here goes. 773 00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:42,117 A man comes into a restaurant. 774 00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:44,510 He sits down at the table and he says, "Waiter... 775 00:47:44,680 --> 00:47:46,637 ...bring me a cup of coffee without cream." 776 00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:49,070 Five minutes later, the waiter comes and says: 777 00:47:49,240 --> 00:47:51,675 “I'm sorry, sir. We have no cream. Can it be without milk?" 778 00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:57,593 It's good, isn't it? 779 00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:03,432 - Not funny, huh? - No. 780 00:48:03,600 --> 00:48:07,036 Well, it is funny. Everybody else thought it was funny. 781 00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:09,316 Maybe you didn't get the point. 782 00:48:09,640 --> 00:48:11,074 I'll tell it to you again. 783 00:48:11,280 --> 00:48:13,430 A man comes into a restaurant. 784 00:48:13,600 --> 00:48:14,749 - Did you get that? - Yes. 785 00:48:14,920 --> 00:48:15,990 All right. 786 00:48:16,200 --> 00:48:19,431 He sits down at the table and he says to the waiter-- Did you get that? 787 00:48:19,600 --> 00:48:21,750 - Yes. - It isn't funny so far, but wait a minute. 788 00:48:21,960 --> 00:48:24,634 He says to the waiter, "Waiter, bring me a cup of coffee.“ 789 00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:26,996 Five minutes later, the waiter comes and says: 790 00:48:27,160 --> 00:48:30,471 "I'm sorry, sir, we're all out of coffee." Oh, no, you've got me all mixed up. 791 00:48:30,640 --> 00:48:33,917 Sits down at the table, says, “Bring me a cup of coffee." That's it. 792 00:48:34,080 --> 00:48:36,356 He says, “Bring me a cup of coffee without cream." 793 00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:38,875 Five minutes later, the waiter comes back and says: 794 00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:42,237 “I'm sorry, sir. We have no cream. Can it be a glass of milk?“ 795 00:48:42,400 --> 00:48:44,118 Oh, you have no sense of humor! 796 00:48:45,440 --> 00:48:46,794 None whatsoever. 797 00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:49,600 Not a grain of humor in you. There's not a laugh in you. 798 00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:52,957 Everybody else laughs at it, but not you. 799 00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:04,794 What's so funny about this? 800 00:49:41,560 --> 00:49:45,076 In addition to the arguments above enumerated for lifting this injunction... 801 00:49:45,240 --> 00:49:48,596 ...we wish to cite the decision of the High Court of Paris in the case... 802 00:49:48,760 --> 00:49:53,630 ...of Princess Marishka against Montenegro on the fifth day of August, 1897. 803 00:49:53,840 --> 00:49:56,832 Comparing the facts in that case with our present set of facts... 804 00:49:57,000 --> 00:50:00,675 ...we feel that the treaty between the Republic of France and the USSR-- 805 00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:09,193 I'm sorry, gentlemen. 806 00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:13,678 The other day I heard such a funny story, heh-heh, it still makes me laugh. 807 00:50:13,840 --> 00:50:15,478 It's very funny. 808 00:50:16,400 --> 00:50:19,074 Yes, about this injunction. 809 00:50:19,280 --> 00:50:21,669 The hearing is set for the 20th of this month. 810 00:50:21,840 --> 00:50:23,797 That's two weeks from Thursday. 811 00:50:23,960 --> 00:50:27,430 - We did our utmost to have it set ahead. - I know, gentlemen. 812 00:50:27,600 --> 00:50:30,638 It's in the hands of the court. We're helpless, aren't we? 813 00:50:30,800 --> 00:50:33,076 Yes, it is unfortunate. 814 00:50:33,240 --> 00:50:36,517 There's nothing we can do. Why get excited? 815 00:50:36,720 --> 00:50:39,838 We'll leave these papers with you for your further consideration. 816 00:50:43,840 --> 00:50:46,309 Well, that means another two weeks in Paris. 817 00:50:46,520 --> 00:50:48,670 Too bad we have to waste all that time. 818 00:50:48,840 --> 00:50:52,720 I acted on your suggestion and got in touch with the power and light authorities. 819 00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:55,759 Whenever you want to visit their plants, they are open to you. 820 00:50:55,920 --> 00:50:58,560 Oh, yes, power and light. Thank you. 821 00:50:58,720 --> 00:51:01,314 There is something else which I know will appeal to you. 822 00:51:01,480 --> 00:51:03,357 A visit to the Paris sewers. 823 00:51:03,520 --> 00:51:06,638 - They tell me it's extremely instructive. - Oh? 824 00:51:06,800 --> 00:51:09,030 Why don't you get a haircut, Buljanoff? 825 00:51:09,200 --> 00:51:11,350 You all look so wintry, comrades. 826 00:51:11,520 --> 00:51:14,114 And why do we always keep the windows closed? 827 00:51:19,600 --> 00:51:21,352 Isn't that amazing? 828 00:51:21,520 --> 00:51:25,912 At home, there is still snow and ice, and here, look at the birds. 829 00:51:27,560 --> 00:51:30,359 I always felt a little hurt when our swallows deserted us... 830 00:51:30,560 --> 00:51:33,029 ...in the winter for capitalistic countries. 831 00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:38,078 Now I know why. We have the high ideal... 832 00:51:38,280 --> 00:51:40,874 ...but they have the climate. 833 00:51:41,800 --> 00:51:43,552 Comrades, I don't think I need you anymore. 834 00:51:43,720 --> 00:51:46,075 - Is there anything we can do for you? - No, not a thing. 835 00:51:46,240 --> 00:51:47,913 Would you like to go out? 836 00:51:48,120 --> 00:51:50,634 - Yes, sure. - Have you any money? 837 00:51:56,640 --> 00:51:59,234 - Here are 50 francs. - Thank you. 838 00:51:59,400 --> 00:52:01,994 Bring me back 45. 839 00:52:03,160 --> 00:52:05,037 Yes, of course. 840 00:52:05,200 --> 00:52:07,919 - Yes, that's fine. - Goodbye, comrade. 841 00:53:14,440 --> 00:53:17,796 - Have you the time, Gaston? - It's 8:42, sir. 842 00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:19,752 I guess it must be 8:42. 843 00:53:19,960 --> 00:53:22,634 - You seem to be a bit nervous, sir. - I am, Gaston. 844 00:53:22,840 --> 00:53:26,356 If you'll forgive me, sir, ever since you met that Bolshevik lady... 845 00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:28,875 ...I've noticed a distinct change in you, sir. 846 00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:31,031 - Have you, Gaston? - Decidedly. 847 00:53:32,520 --> 00:53:34,989 Yesterday I was greatly amazed when I came from the market... 848 00:53:35,160 --> 00:53:37,197 ...and found you had made your bed, sir. 849 00:53:37,400 --> 00:53:41,314 Yes, I felt better for it all day long. I felt as if I'd contributed something. 850 00:53:41,800 --> 00:53:43,916 May I add, sir, it was with great amazement... 851 00:53:44,080 --> 00:53:47,835 ...that I found a copy of Karl Marx's Capital on your night table, sir. 852 00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:52,233 That is a socialistic volume, which I refuse to so much as dust, sir. 853 00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:55,518 I view with alarm the influence over you of this Bolshevik lady. 854 00:53:55,680 --> 00:53:57,717 But I don't follow you, Gaston. 855 00:53:57,920 --> 00:54:01,356 Isn't it about time that you realized the unfairness of your position? 856 00:54:01,520 --> 00:54:02,919 Your being my servant. 857 00:54:03,080 --> 00:54:05,310 Wouldn't you like to stand on an equal footing with me? 858 00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:06,515 No, sir. 859 00:54:06,720 --> 00:54:08,472 Good heavens, isn't there any revolt in you? 860 00:54:08,680 --> 00:54:11,911 When I order you around, don't you feel like kicking me in the pants? 861 00:54:12,080 --> 00:54:14,913 - No, sir. - Ah, you're a reactionary. 862 00:54:15,080 --> 00:54:17,833 You can't tell me that you don't look forward to the day... 863 00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:20,355 ...when you can come in here, stand on your two feet... 864 00:54:20,520 --> 00:54:22,989 ...and say, "From now on, it's share and share alike." 865 00:54:23,160 --> 00:54:26,232 Emphatically not, sir. The prospect terrifies me. 866 00:54:26,400 --> 00:54:28,118 Now, don't misunderstand me, sir. 867 00:54:28,320 --> 00:54:31,039 I don't resent your not paying me for the past two months... 868 00:54:31,240 --> 00:54:34,278 ...but the thought that I should split my bank account with you... 869 00:54:34,440 --> 00:54:36,829 ...that you should take half of my life's savings... 870 00:54:37,040 --> 00:54:38,678 ...that is really too much for me, sir. 871 00:54:40,800 --> 00:54:43,679 Go to bed, little father, go to bed. 872 00:55:03,160 --> 00:55:07,711 - I don't look too foolish? - Foolish? 873 00:55:08,400 --> 00:55:11,916 If this dress were walking down the boulevard all by itself... 874 00:55:12,120 --> 00:55:14,794 ...I'd follow it from one end of Paris to the other. 875 00:55:14,960 --> 00:55:17,076 And when I caught up with it, I'd say: 876 00:55:17,240 --> 00:55:19,993 "Wait a moment, you charming little dress. 877 00:55:20,160 --> 00:55:24,154 I want you to meet Ninotchka. You two were meant for each other." 878 00:55:43,840 --> 00:55:44,875 Remember this room? 879 00:55:46,800 --> 00:55:49,030 I've never been here before. 880 00:55:49,240 --> 00:55:51,675 I wonder whom you're thinking of? 881 00:55:52,240 --> 00:55:55,153 Oh, I know. The girl with the map... 882 00:55:55,320 --> 00:55:59,917 ...always figuring out each step and worrying about north and south. Heh. 883 00:56:00,520 --> 00:56:01,715 Today_" 884 00:56:01,920 --> 00:56:03,354 Now, this might shock you. 885 00:56:03,520 --> 00:56:07,036 I walked up to a taxi, I said, "88 rue du Bois"... 886 00:56:07,200 --> 00:56:08,474 ...and here I am. 887 00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:10,995 You see? Life can be so simple. 888 00:56:11,160 --> 00:56:14,755 - For 12 francs 75. - Twelve seventy-five? From the Clarence? 889 00:56:14,920 --> 00:56:17,434 The son of a gun made a detour. 890 00:56:18,880 --> 00:56:20,837 But he got you here. 891 00:56:27,120 --> 00:56:29,157 It's 9:00. 892 00:56:29,360 --> 00:56:30,589 893 00:56:30,760 --> 00:56:33,479 That's when one half of Paris says to the other half: 894 00:56:33,640 --> 00:56:36,314 "What are you plans for this evening, madame?“ 895 00:56:36,480 --> 00:56:39,393 First, I would like to take off my hat. 896 00:56:39,560 --> 00:56:44,430 - Then, could we have some music? - A wonderful idea. 897 00:56:45,520 --> 00:56:47,670 - Radio or records? - Not radio. 898 00:56:47,880 --> 00:56:49,871 Let's have music that's just for ourselves. 899 00:56:53,720 --> 00:56:55,438 I'll play it very softly... 900 00:56:55,640 --> 00:56:58,234 ...because I have things to tell you which I can't shout. 901 00:57:06,480 --> 00:57:08,551 Darling, I... Oh. 902 00:57:14,280 --> 00:57:16,556 You see, I couldn't shout that. 903 00:57:17,600 --> 00:57:18,874 Oh, Leon. 904 00:57:20,160 --> 00:57:24,438 Leon, you know the jokes you told me a few days ago? 905 00:57:24,600 --> 00:57:28,150 I wake up in the middle of the night and laugh at them. 906 00:57:28,320 --> 00:57:30,391 You know, that's wrong. 907 00:57:30,560 --> 00:57:35,236 They aren't funny. They're silly, they're stupid. 908 00:57:35,400 --> 00:57:37,550 And still I laugh at them. 909 00:57:37,760 --> 00:57:41,435 And when I look at Buljanoff and Iranoff and Kopalski... 910 00:57:41,640 --> 00:57:44,712 ...I know they're scoundrels and I should hate them. 911 00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:48,913 Then I realize who made them like that. 912 00:57:49,080 --> 00:57:51,959 And instead of sending my report to Moscow... 913 00:57:52,120 --> 00:57:54,555 ...I go down and buy a ridiculous hat. 914 00:57:55,520 --> 00:57:57,272 And if this keeps on... 915 00:57:58,200 --> 00:58:00,271 - Am I too talkative? - No, no, go on. 916 00:58:01,320 --> 00:58:06,269 And, Leon, I want to tell you something which I thought I would never say... 917 00:58:07,320 --> 00:58:12,235 ...which I thought nobody ever should say, because I didn't think it exists. 918 00:58:16,040 --> 00:58:20,398 And, Leon, I can't say it. 919 00:58:56,080 --> 00:58:59,038 What a gesture for a sergeant. 920 00:59:00,480 --> 00:59:03,279 - Leon, may I ask you something? - Anything. 921 00:59:03,440 --> 00:59:05,556 If you don't want to answer, you needn't. 922 00:59:05,720 --> 00:59:09,554 - But if you do, you must tell the truth. - I promise. 923 00:59:09,720 --> 00:59:12,394 Did you make any change in this room? 924 00:59:13,560 --> 00:59:15,153 I don't think so. 925 00:59:15,760 --> 00:59:19,674 When I was here before, I noticed a photograph of a woman... 926 00:59:19,840 --> 00:59:22,719 ...on the desk in a wide silver frame. 927 00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:27,829 I thought, what a waste of silver. That's all I was interested in then. 928 00:59:28,040 --> 00:59:32,716 Now, I would like to know. What happened to the woman? 929 00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:56,473 The Grand Duchess? 930 00:59:58,120 --> 01:00:00,509 She's very attractive. 931 01:00:00,680 --> 01:00:03,274 She has great elegance. 932 01:00:04,160 --> 01:00:07,039 She's what you call a woman of the world, isn't she? 933 01:00:07,200 --> 01:00:08,599 Ninotchka. 934 01:00:09,360 --> 01:00:10,759 I love you. 935 01:00:11,400 --> 01:00:13,994 I suppose she's very entertaining. 936 01:00:14,480 --> 01:00:17,836 It must be lots of fun to be with a woman like that, so witty and- 937 01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:19,274 Ninotchka. 938 01:00:20,120 --> 01:00:22,396 You're jealous. 939 01:00:23,360 --> 01:00:24,998 Mm-hm. 940 01:00:25,640 --> 01:00:29,873 Leon, don't ever ask me for a picture of myself. 941 01:00:30,040 --> 01:00:32,793 I couldn't bear the thought of being shut up in a drawer. 942 01:00:32,960 --> 01:00:37,193 - I couldn't breathe. I couldn't stand it. - Oh, my darling. 943 01:00:51,880 --> 01:00:53,598 Café de Lutéce. 944 01:00:53,760 --> 01:00:56,991 A table for tonight? Certainly, Count d'AIgout. 945 01:00:57,160 --> 01:01:01,233 What time, may I ask? After the opera, thank you very much. 946 01:01:05,200 --> 01:01:06,520 Good evening, Your Highness. 947 01:01:06,720 --> 01:01:08,711 Good evening. You seem to be very crowded. 948 01:01:08,880 --> 01:01:12,032 - Can you manage a table near the floor? - Certainly, this way, please. 949 01:01:12,200 --> 01:01:14,919 - Count d'AIgout made the reservation. - Count d'AIgout? 950 01:01:15,080 --> 01:01:18,232 Yes. It is only a small table, but we will put in some extra chairs. 951 01:01:18,440 --> 01:01:19,589 No, that's another party. 952 01:01:19,760 --> 01:01:21,910 Why don't we go to some other place? It's so crowded. 953 01:01:22,080 --> 01:01:25,710 No. This is glory. At last I'm going to have a look at that female Bolshevik. 954 01:01:25,880 --> 01:01:27,314 Can you manage another table? 955 01:01:27,480 --> 01:01:29,471 - Only one in the rear, I'm afraid. - Perfect. 956 01:01:29,640 --> 01:01:31,790 Leon's bringing the Bolshevik you told us about? 957 01:01:31,960 --> 01:01:34,679 - Isn't it divine? - I wouldn't have missed this. 958 01:01:34,840 --> 01:01:36,956 We must be discreet. If she sucks her soup... 959 01:01:37,120 --> 01:01:39,396 ...or drinks out of her finger bowl, don't laugh. 960 01:01:39,560 --> 01:01:41,358 We mustn't embarrass poor little Leon. 961 01:01:41,520 --> 01:01:44,273 He's gone through enough. We mustn't add insult to injury. 962 01:01:44,440 --> 01:01:47,114 Is this satisfactory, Your Highness? 963 01:01:47,280 --> 01:01:49,590 - Is it to be dinner, Your Excellency? - Later perhaps. 964 01:01:49,760 --> 01:01:52,195 - We'll just start with champagne. - Deux champagne. 965 01:01:52,360 --> 01:01:56,831 I'm only afraid the doorman may spoil all our fun. If only he lets her in. 966 01:01:57,000 --> 01:01:59,469 - Look, there's Leon. - Where? 967 01:02:13,040 --> 01:02:15,554 - Good evening, Count d'AIgout. If you please. - Good evening. 968 01:02:18,400 --> 01:02:20,391 General, shall we dance? 969 01:02:23,840 --> 01:02:25,194 - Is it dry? - Yes, monsieur. 970 01:02:25,360 --> 01:02:29,149 - Is that right, or do you prefer it sweet? - Oh, I wouldn't know. 971 01:02:29,320 --> 01:02:32,312 The closest I ever came to champagne was in a newsreel. 972 01:02:32,480 --> 01:02:35,199 The wife of some president was throwing it at a battleship. 973 01:02:35,360 --> 01:02:37,795 It's always good luck to launch something with champagne. 974 01:02:37,960 --> 01:02:40,156 A battleship or an evening. 975 01:02:41,760 --> 01:02:45,355 It's funny to look back. I was brought up on goat's milk. 976 01:02:45,520 --> 01:02:50,230 I had a ration of vodka in the army, and now champagne. 977 01:02:50,400 --> 01:02:53,950 From goats to grapes. That's drinking in the right direction. 978 01:03:13,040 --> 01:03:15,270 - It's good. - Mm-hm. 979 01:03:25,600 --> 01:03:28,479 From what I've read, I thought champagne was a strong drink. 980 01:03:28,640 --> 01:03:30,074 It's delicate. 981 01:03:30,440 --> 01:03:32,829 Does anyone ever get drunk on this? 982 01:03:33,000 --> 01:03:36,231 Mmm, well, there have been cases. But the headache... 983 01:03:36,400 --> 01:03:40,030 ...the next morning is worthwhile if you drink it with the right toast. 984 01:03:41,720 --> 01:03:44,030 To us, Ninotchka. 985 01:03:50,760 --> 01:03:52,433 Thank you, general. 986 01:03:55,480 --> 01:03:58,393 Hello, Leon! How are you, my dear? 987 01:03:58,600 --> 01:04:00,716 - Hello, Swana. Good evening, general. - How do you do? 988 01:04:00,880 --> 01:04:03,440 Why, you're looking magnificent tonight. Isn't he, general? 989 01:04:03,600 --> 01:04:05,477 - Thank you. Yes. - Is this your new dress suit? 990 01:04:05,640 --> 01:04:08,154 Didn't I tell you Benson and Benson were the tailors for you? 991 01:04:08,360 --> 01:04:09,919 - Yes, you did. - It's a dream of beauty. 992 01:04:10,080 --> 01:04:11,434 He never takes my word. 993 01:04:11,600 --> 01:04:13,193 - But I was right, wasn't I? - Yes. 994 01:04:13,360 --> 01:04:15,636 - Am I interrupting? - No, no, not at all. 995 01:04:15,800 --> 01:04:18,030 Your Highness, may I present Comrade Yakushova? 996 01:04:18,200 --> 01:04:19,315 How do you do? 997 01:04:19,480 --> 01:04:21,153 - General Saviizky. - How do you do? 998 01:04:21,320 --> 01:04:22,754 Oh, I've some wonderful news. 999 01:04:22,960 --> 01:04:25,839 - It's about Punchy. Mind if I sit down? - No, please. 1000 01:04:26,000 --> 01:04:28,116 Would you mind making my excuses at our table? 1001 01:04:28,280 --> 01:04:30,999 - Certainly. - Will you say I'll be back soon? 1002 01:04:31,840 --> 01:04:35,151 We can be proud of our Punchy. He had a triumph at the dog show. 1003 01:04:35,320 --> 01:04:38,199 He won another blue ribbon and bit the judge. Ha-ha-ha. 1004 01:04:38,360 --> 01:04:40,670 I bought him the loveliest little sweater as a reward. 1005 01:04:40,840 --> 01:04:44,276 You should see him strutting in it. He looks like a little boulevardier. 1006 01:04:44,480 --> 01:04:46,756 You see, Count d'AIgout gave me Punchy for my birthday. 1007 01:04:46,920 --> 01:04:50,276 You must've searched for weeks before you found Punchy... 1008 01:04:50,440 --> 01:04:52,351 -...didn't you, Leon? - Months, Swana. 1009 01:04:52,520 --> 01:04:55,160 Poor Madame Yakushova. Here we are talking in mysteries. 1010 01:04:55,320 --> 01:04:56,993 I'm sure you wonder what it's about. 1011 01:04:57,200 --> 01:05:01,353 Not at all. I understand perfectly. Count d'Algout gave you a dog. 1012 01:05:01,520 --> 01:05:06,993 - You made it very clear, madame. - Oh, dear me. I must be losing my finesse. 1013 01:05:07,160 --> 01:05:10,118 If I'm not careful, I'll be understood by everybody. 1014 01:05:10,280 --> 01:05:13,079 - Charming crowd here tonight, isn't it? - I'm going, Leon. 1015 01:05:13,240 --> 01:05:17,029 But before I go, I must compliment you on your gown, Madame Yakushova. 1016 01:05:17,200 --> 01:05:19,430 Is that what they're wearing in Moscow this year? 1017 01:05:19,640 --> 01:05:21,438 No, last year, madame. 1018 01:05:21,640 --> 01:05:25,190 Isn't it amazing? One gets the wrong impression of the new Russia. 1019 01:05:25,360 --> 01:05:29,149 It must be charming. I'm delighted conditions have improved so. 1020 01:05:29,360 --> 01:05:32,318 I assume this is what the factory workers wear at their dances? 1021 01:05:32,480 --> 01:05:36,269 Exactly. You see, it would have been very embarrassing for people of my sort... 1022 01:05:36,440 --> 01:05:39,159 ...to wear low-cut gowns in the old Russia. 1023 01:05:39,320 --> 01:05:42,756 The lashes of the Cossacks across our backs were not very becoming. 1024 01:05:42,920 --> 01:05:47,039 - And you know how vain women are. - Yes, you're quite right about the Cossacks. 1025 01:05:47,200 --> 01:05:49,840 We made a great mistake when we let them use their whips. 1026 01:05:50,000 --> 01:05:51,320 They had such reliable guns. 1027 01:05:51,480 --> 01:05:54,393 Will you do me a favor? Let's not talk about the good old days. 1028 01:05:54,560 --> 01:05:57,916 It's a very wise suggestion, Leon. I'm afraid madame and I will never agree. 1029 01:05:58,080 --> 01:06:00,390 The only thing we have in common is our lawsuit... 1030 01:06:00,600 --> 01:06:02,591 ...and that will be settled next week. 1031 01:06:02,760 --> 01:06:06,594 I understand everything will be over by Thursday. 1032 01:06:06,760 --> 01:06:10,469 - Am I right? - Yes. You're right, madame. 1033 01:06:11,120 --> 01:06:13,919 It'll all be over by Thursday. 1034 01:06:14,080 --> 01:06:16,515 It's too bad you have so few more days here in Paris. 1035 01:06:16,680 --> 01:06:18,353 Be sure and redouble your efforts... 1036 01:06:18,520 --> 01:06:21,399 ...so madame can take some pleasant memories when she returns to Moscow. 1037 01:06:21,560 --> 01:06:23,119 Good night. 1038 01:06:23,280 --> 01:06:25,271 - Good night, Leon. - Good night, Swana. 1039 01:06:29,080 --> 01:06:31,833 Now I think I need a glass of champagne. 1040 01:06:52,000 --> 01:06:54,469 Quickly, please tell me one of your funny stories. 1041 01:06:54,640 --> 01:06:55,960 - A funny story? - Mm-hm. 1042 01:06:56,120 --> 01:07:00,079 You never finished the one about the, uh, two Scotchmen with the names. 1043 01:07:01,120 --> 01:07:02,440 Oh. 1044 01:07:02,600 --> 01:07:03,954 Please. 1045 01:07:06,000 --> 01:07:09,038 - Well, there were two Scotchmen. - Mm-hm. 1046 01:07:09,200 --> 01:07:11,999 One's name was McIntosh and the other one was McGillicuddy. 1047 01:07:12,160 --> 01:07:14,720 - Mm-hm. - They met on the street. 1048 01:07:14,920 --> 01:07:16,319 Mm-hm? 1049 01:07:16,480 --> 01:07:20,758 No, I'll tell you another story. A much better one. 1050 01:07:21,760 --> 01:07:24,559 The only thing over on Thursday will be the lawsuit. 1051 01:07:26,720 --> 01:07:30,350 There will be no Thursday for us. Next week or any other week. 1052 01:07:30,560 --> 01:07:34,030 I won't let it happen. I'll tear it out of the calendar. 1053 01:07:35,680 --> 01:07:37,637 Isn't that a good story? 1054 01:07:38,880 --> 01:07:42,032 Wonderful, if one could believe it. 1055 01:07:43,400 --> 01:07:45,073 You must, darling. 1056 01:07:50,080 --> 01:07:53,994 To the loveliest story I ever heard. 1057 01:08:05,600 --> 01:08:07,238 Let's dance. 1058 01:08:20,680 --> 01:08:23,354 Leon, something is the matter. 1059 01:08:23,520 --> 01:08:27,195 You just made that trip from goats to grapes a little too quickly. 1060 01:08:27,360 --> 01:08:31,638 Everything is so wonderful. It's getting farther and farther away. 1061 01:08:31,800 --> 01:08:33,598 - What, darling? - Thursday. 1062 01:08:33,760 --> 01:08:37,116 Yes, don't worry, everything's going to be all right. 1063 01:08:40,280 --> 01:08:42,237 Comrades! Comrades! 1064 01:08:42,400 --> 01:08:44,073 Darling, darling, please. 1065 01:08:44,240 --> 01:08:46,311 - I wanna talk to my brothers. - Shh. Shh. 1066 01:08:46,480 --> 01:08:50,235 Don't shush me, please. I am the people. I want to hold a speech. 1067 01:08:50,400 --> 01:08:53,358 - I want to overthrow the Grand Duchess. - You can't do that. 1068 01:08:53,560 --> 01:08:56,678 Oh, comrades. The good people of France. 1069 01:08:56,840 --> 01:09:00,470 - Now, now, Ninotchka. - But they're all grand duchesses here. 1070 01:09:00,640 --> 01:09:03,951 I ordered out thousands of grand duchesses and I want to tell them. 1071 01:09:04,160 --> 01:09:07,710 Yes, dear, you're quite right. But first, you're going through that door. 1072 01:09:07,880 --> 01:09:10,599 You're going to lie down and take some spirits of ammonia. 1073 01:09:10,760 --> 01:09:13,229 - Oh, no speech? Oh. - No speech. 1074 01:09:13,400 --> 01:09:15,232 I love you, my little Leonitchka. 1075 01:09:15,400 --> 01:09:18,153 And I adore you, Ninotchka. Go ahead, now. 1076 01:09:21,400 --> 01:09:25,189 - No speech? - No. For heaven's sake, no speech. 1077 01:09:30,840 --> 01:09:33,150 - Give me a double brandy. - Yes, sir. 1078 01:09:52,040 --> 01:09:55,715 I'm sorry, count, it is most embarrassing, but the lady you brought with you... 1079 01:09:55,920 --> 01:09:58,958 ...is spreading communistic propaganda in the powder room. 1080 01:09:59,120 --> 01:10:00,758 What? Give me another double brandy. 1081 01:10:00,960 --> 01:10:04,237 That kind of propaganda is bad anywhere, but inciting the attendants... 1082 01:10:04,400 --> 01:10:06,198 ...of the powder room to go on strike? 1083 01:10:06,360 --> 01:10:08,795 Well, if she succeeds, the consequences will be disastrous. 1084 01:10:08,960 --> 01:10:10,109 What can I do about it? 1085 01:10:10,280 --> 01:10:13,272 She has been asked to leave the powder room, but without success. 1086 01:10:13,440 --> 01:10:17,115 We would appreciate it very much if you would see to it yourself. 1087 01:10:17,280 --> 01:10:21,239 - You want me to go in there? - I'm sorry, sir, but I must insist. 1088 01:10:49,960 --> 01:10:52,429 - Make it a triple brandy. - Yes, sir. 1089 01:10:58,280 --> 01:11:01,750 All right, tell the Grand Duchess. Tell everybody. 1090 01:11:01,920 --> 01:11:05,515 They know it anyway. It doesn't make any difference. Go on, get out, get out. 1091 01:11:05,880 --> 01:11:10,078 - Don't tell them where we're going. - No, darling, nobody will find us. 1092 01:11:10,280 --> 01:11:13,875 - Are we going to build our little house? - Yes, a little white house. 1093 01:11:14,080 --> 01:11:17,471 - No, not white. - All right, we'll make it red. 1094 01:11:17,640 --> 01:11:22,476 No, let's not have any color. No color. Just a "house" house. Heh. 1095 01:11:22,640 --> 01:11:25,393 - Let's form our own party. - Right. 1096 01:11:25,560 --> 01:11:27,471 Lovers of the world, unite. 1097 01:11:27,640 --> 01:11:30,678 - And we won't stretch up our arms. - No, no, no. 1098 01:11:30,840 --> 01:11:32,956 - And we won't clench our fists. - No. 1099 01:11:33,120 --> 01:11:36,272 - Our salute will be a kiss. - Yes. 1100 01:11:36,920 --> 01:11:39,150 A kiss. Salute. 1101 01:11:43,360 --> 01:11:47,319 I am so happy. Oh, I am so happy. 1102 01:11:48,120 --> 01:11:51,238 No one can be so happy without being punished. 1103 01:11:51,400 --> 01:11:54,438 I will be punished, and I should be punished. 1104 01:11:55,360 --> 01:11:59,149 - Leon, I want to confess. - I know. It's the Russian soul. 1105 01:11:59,320 --> 01:12:01,231 Well, everyone wants to confess. 1106 01:12:01,400 --> 01:12:04,677 And if they don't confess, they make them confess. 1107 01:12:05,240 --> 01:12:06,913 I am a traitor. 1108 01:12:07,360 --> 01:12:10,432 When I kissed you, I betrayed a Russian ideal. 1109 01:12:11,360 --> 01:12:13,795 I should be stood up against the wall. 1110 01:12:13,960 --> 01:12:17,078 - Would that make you any happier? - Much happier. 1111 01:12:18,400 --> 01:12:19,629 All right. 1112 01:12:57,040 --> 01:13:01,034 I've paid the penalty. Now, let's have some music. 1113 01:13:01,200 --> 01:13:04,909 - Yes, let's turn on the radio. - Radio? What's radio? 1114 01:13:05,080 --> 01:13:07,959 Radio's a little box that you buy on the installment plan... 1115 01:13:08,120 --> 01:13:11,158 ...and before you tune it in, they tell you there's a new model out. 1116 01:13:11,360 --> 01:13:16,992 Oh, yes, I know where that is. There's one around here somewhere. 1117 01:13:17,200 --> 01:13:20,238 It has a little knob that you turn. 1118 01:13:20,400 --> 01:13:23,597 - A little knob, that's right. - Yeah. Maybe it's in here. 1119 01:13:23,760 --> 01:13:26,513 - Just a little knob. - It's a radio and has a knob. 1120 01:13:26,680 --> 01:13:30,833 Now, maybe it's in here. Let's see. There it is. 1121 01:13:31,160 --> 01:13:33,879 - There's the knob. - There's the knob. 1122 01:13:34,040 --> 01:13:36,077 Now, what shall we get, the news? 1123 01:13:36,240 --> 01:13:39,949 No news. We don't want to know what's happening in the world. 1124 01:13:40,120 --> 01:13:42,316 We want to be left alone, don't we? 1125 01:13:42,520 --> 01:13:45,034 Yes, darling, all by ourselves. 1126 01:13:45,200 --> 01:13:50,673 Then turn to the left and stop at seven. 1127 01:13:50,840 --> 01:13:54,435 Turn to the left and stop at seven. 1128 01:13:58,880 --> 01:14:01,952 - No music. - No. No music. 1129 01:14:03,080 --> 01:14:05,833 There it is, Thursday. 1130 01:14:06,040 --> 01:14:07,792 You can't rip it out of the week. 1131 01:14:11,800 --> 01:14:13,473 There they are. 1132 01:14:13,640 --> 01:14:18,350 - They're terrible things, those jewels. - Ooh. But big. 1133 01:14:18,520 --> 01:14:21,751 They are the tears of Old Russia. 1134 01:14:21,920 --> 01:14:25,151 - See that stone? - Who cried that one? 1135 01:14:25,320 --> 01:14:28,950 Czar Peter gave it to his wife, Catherine the Great. 1136 01:14:29,120 --> 01:14:32,238 For it, he sold 10,000 serfs in the market. 1137 01:14:32,440 --> 01:14:36,354 Oh, but, darling, don't get impatient. Wait till we're married. 1138 01:14:36,520 --> 01:14:40,559 You know that worthless butler of mine, that reactionary? 1139 01:14:40,720 --> 01:14:42,916 Someday I'll come home to you and I'll say: 1140 01:14:43,120 --> 01:14:46,750 "Darling, I drove Gaston to the market this morning... 1141 01:14:46,960 --> 01:14:50,794 ...and, ooh, look what I got for him." 1142 01:14:51,000 --> 01:14:53,276 Darling, come here. Let me put this on you. 1143 01:14:53,440 --> 01:14:57,115 - No, no, no. - Yes, you will teach these jewels. 1144 01:14:57,280 --> 01:15:00,636 For the first time, they will learn how they can really look. 1145 01:15:00,800 --> 01:15:05,112 - They belong to the people. - And I give them back to the people. 1146 01:15:05,760 --> 01:15:08,718 I make you Ninotchka the Great... 1147 01:15:09,480 --> 01:15:11,437 ...Duchess of the People... 1148 01:15:12,600 --> 01:15:14,796 ...Grand Duchess of the People. 1149 01:15:14,960 --> 01:15:19,352 - Is this the wish of the masses? - It is their wish. 1150 01:15:19,520 --> 01:15:23,195 Thank you, Leon. Thank you, masses. 1151 01:15:24,200 --> 01:15:27,636 - Can I make a speech now? - Please. 1152 01:15:27,800 --> 01:15:31,350 Comrades, people of the world. 1153 01:15:31,520 --> 01:15:35,479 The revolution is on the march. I know. 1154 01:15:35,640 --> 01:15:39,270 Bombs will fall, civilization will crumble... 1155 01:15:39,840 --> 01:15:42,673 ...but not yet, please. 1156 01:15:42,840 --> 01:15:45,354 Wait. What's the hurry? 1157 01:15:45,560 --> 01:15:49,155 Give us our moment. Let's be happy. 1158 01:15:50,600 --> 01:15:53,592 - We're happy, aren't we, Leon? - Yes, darling. 1159 01:15:54,520 --> 01:15:59,071 So happy and so tired. 1160 01:15:59,280 --> 01:16:00,793 Oh... 1161 01:17:00,600 --> 01:17:04,389 Smile, little father. Smile. 1162 01:17:26,920 --> 01:17:28,319 Come in. 1163 01:17:41,320 --> 01:17:44,517 - Good morning. - What? 1164 01:17:44,720 --> 01:17:49,271 It's tomorrow morning. Tomorrow noon, to be exact. I hope you'll forgive me. 1165 01:17:49,440 --> 01:17:53,195 I know it's extremely cruel to awaken anyone at such an hour. 1166 01:17:54,280 --> 01:17:58,069 Don't you recognize me? I'm the Grand Duchess Swana. 1167 01:17:59,840 --> 01:18:03,720 I know exactly how you feel, my dear. The morning after always does look grim... 1168 01:18:03,880 --> 01:18:06,235 ...if you happen to be wearing last night's dress. 1169 01:18:06,400 --> 01:18:08,232 Don't be embarrassed by my presence. 1170 01:18:08,400 --> 01:18:10,994 You couldn't have found anyone more sympathetic. 1171 01:18:11,200 --> 01:18:13,555 I think we can cut your visit short. 1172 01:18:13,720 --> 01:18:16,997 - Leon is not here. - Of course not, my dear. 1173 01:18:17,160 --> 01:18:19,879 I didn't come here with any such suspicion. How ridiculous. 1174 01:18:20,040 --> 01:18:21,633 Nor did I come to pick up his hat. 1175 01:18:23,200 --> 01:18:25,635 What is it you people always say, regardless of what you mean? 1176 01:18:25,840 --> 01:18:27,433 "I'm delighted to have you here." 1177 01:18:27,600 --> 01:18:31,480 I haven't reached that state of civilization, therefore I must ask you to leave. 1178 01:18:31,680 --> 01:18:35,594 Leave? That's exactly what I came here to ask you to do. Leave. 1179 01:18:35,760 --> 01:18:39,390 I don't mean this hotel, and I don't mean Paris. I mean France. 1180 01:18:39,560 --> 01:18:41,995 There's a plane for Moscow at 5:40. 1181 01:18:42,160 --> 01:18:44,674 Do you still think you're issuing orders from your palace? 1182 01:18:44,840 --> 01:18:46,990 My palace in Petrograd. 1183 01:18:47,600 --> 01:18:49,989 Yes, you took that away from me. 1184 01:18:50,200 --> 01:18:53,875 You took away my czar, my country, my people. 1185 01:18:54,080 --> 01:18:57,789 Everything I had. But nothing more. 1186 01:18:58,000 --> 01:19:00,355 People cannot be taken away, madame... 1187 01:19:00,520 --> 01:19:07,039 ...neither 160 million, nor one. Not if you have their love. You hadn't. 1188 01:19:07,200 --> 01:19:09,510 That's why you're not in Russia any longer... 1189 01:19:09,720 --> 01:19:12,234 ...and that's why you came here this morning. 1190 01:19:12,400 --> 01:19:14,994 Problems were never solved by bowing from a balcony. 1191 01:19:15,160 --> 01:19:17,879 Oh, my dear, you don't know how impressive I could be. 1192 01:19:18,040 --> 01:19:23,479 Did you ever see me in my regalia with my diadem and all my jewels? 1193 01:19:39,400 --> 01:19:41,391 Elysée 2763. 1194 01:19:42,920 --> 01:19:44,558 Believe me, Leon can't help you. 1195 01:19:44,720 --> 01:19:46,870 He doesn't know anything about the jewels. 1196 01:19:47,040 --> 01:19:49,270 I give you my word. I swear it. 1197 01:19:50,280 --> 01:19:51,395 Where are they? 1198 01:19:51,560 --> 01:19:54,234 You were very careless with our precious jewels, my dear. 1199 01:19:54,400 --> 01:19:57,074 They're too expensive a toy for two children to play with. 1200 01:19:57,240 --> 01:19:58,310 Where are they? 1201 01:19:58,520 --> 01:20:01,512 Last night a very trustworthy friend kept his eyes open. 1202 01:20:01,680 --> 01:20:04,035 He may have overstepped his function as a waiter... 1203 01:20:04,200 --> 01:20:06,669 ...but he fulfilled his duty as a Russian. 1204 01:20:07,160 --> 01:20:11,597 I just put this on for sentiment. The rest are absolutely safe, I assure you. 1205 01:20:11,760 --> 01:20:15,071 - But if you feel like notifying the police- - You leave me no choice. 1206 01:20:15,240 --> 01:20:17,629 Won't it be rather embarrassing for a Soviet envoy... 1207 01:20:17,800 --> 01:20:20,155 ...to disclose the circumstances under which she lost them? 1208 01:20:20,320 --> 01:20:22,755 I'll have to face the consequences, but so will you. 1209 01:20:22,960 --> 01:20:24,837 They'll ask you how you got them. 1210 01:20:25,000 --> 01:20:28,595 That's very simple to answer. They were given to me by my mother. 1211 01:20:28,800 --> 01:20:30,552 They were given to her by her mother. 1212 01:20:30,760 --> 01:20:33,559 In fact, they're mine. You can't steal what belongs to you. 1213 01:20:33,760 --> 01:20:35,717 They always belonged to the Russian people. 1214 01:20:35,880 --> 01:20:38,952 They paid for them with their blood, their lives, and you'll give them back. 1215 01:20:39,120 --> 01:20:42,636 I told you we had plenty to talk about. Shall we sit down? 1216 01:20:42,800 --> 01:20:45,030 Let's free ourselves from emotionalism... 1217 01:20:45,200 --> 01:20:47,589 ...and try to solve the problem in a practical way. 1218 01:20:47,760 --> 01:20:50,070 Our situation has considerably changed. 1219 01:20:50,280 --> 01:20:53,671 Before I had only a claim to the jewels. Now I have the jewels. 1220 01:20:53,840 --> 01:20:56,832 In other words, moral ideas have no weight with you. 1221 01:20:57,000 --> 01:20:59,594 All right, let's deal with legal facts. You know that... 1222 01:20:59,760 --> 01:21:02,195 -...France has recognized the Soviet. - Unfortunately. 1223 01:21:02,360 --> 01:21:04,749 Under the Soviet law, the jewels belong to the State. 1224 01:21:04,960 --> 01:21:08,430 - France is going to uphold that ownership. - Yes, my lawyer agrees with you. 1225 01:21:08,600 --> 01:21:11,114 He says that France will uphold it in every court... 1226 01:21:11,280 --> 01:21:14,875 ...but I will drag you through every court, don't forget that. 1227 01:21:15,040 --> 01:21:17,316 And when I say it will take two years... 1228 01:21:17,480 --> 01:21:20,313 ...I am, as always, conservative. 1229 01:21:20,520 --> 01:21:22,636 Won't those two years in court be expensive? 1230 01:21:22,800 --> 01:21:24,120 I know money was no object... 1231 01:21:24,280 --> 01:21:27,671 ...as long as you could squeeze it out of the pockets of the people. But now? 1232 01:21:27,840 --> 01:21:30,354 I may run out of money, but you have run out of bread. 1233 01:21:30,520 --> 01:21:33,399 Two years is a long time for your comrades to wait. 1234 01:21:34,560 --> 01:21:38,235 I see. You've calculated it in terms of hunger. 1235 01:21:38,400 --> 01:21:42,030 No, I just wanted to be absolutely impartial. 1236 01:21:42,200 --> 01:21:45,238 Both of us are faced with two rather uncomfortable years. 1237 01:21:45,400 --> 01:21:48,199 We can condense those two years to two minutes... 1238 01:21:48,360 --> 01:21:51,273 -...if you want to accept my proposition. - Go on. 1239 01:21:52,520 --> 01:21:56,991 I am willing to hand over the jewels and sign any necessary papers... 1240 01:21:57,160 --> 01:22:00,118 ...if you will take that 5:40 plane to Moscow. 1241 01:22:01,920 --> 01:22:06,710 That's not the way to win him back. Not Leon. 1242 01:22:07,400 --> 01:22:11,314 I think I know Leon quite as well as you. Perhaps a little better. 1243 01:22:11,480 --> 01:22:12,914 Leave that worry to me. 1244 01:22:13,080 --> 01:22:17,790 Now, 5:40 leaves you time enough to close the deal with Monsieur Mercier... 1245 01:22:17,960 --> 01:22:23,399 ...but, uh, naturally, you'll be too busy for any farewells. 1246 01:22:23,560 --> 01:22:27,474 I will see to it that everything is done in the most expeditious manner. 1247 01:22:27,640 --> 01:22:30,280 And I will also see you to the airport. 1248 01:22:31,240 --> 01:22:33,959 That's my proposition, Comrade Yakushova. 1249 01:22:52,960 --> 01:22:56,032 Yes? Oh, hello. 1250 01:23:05,640 --> 01:23:07,677 Yes, Leon. 1251 01:23:08,360 --> 01:23:10,749 No, you didn't waken me. 1252 01:23:10,960 --> 01:23:13,429 I'm fine, thank you. 1253 01:23:15,120 --> 01:23:18,078 Yes. Oh, yes, it was wonderful. 1254 01:23:19,480 --> 01:23:20,515 For luncheon? 1255 01:23:23,040 --> 01:23:26,396 I'm afraid I can't. I have lots of things to attend to today, Leon. 1256 01:23:26,600 --> 01:23:28,671 I'm going to be very busy. 1257 01:23:30,240 --> 01:23:34,393 To tell you the truth, I'm a little tired and I would like to rest. 1258 01:23:35,200 --> 01:23:36,952 Maybe you're right. 1259 01:23:37,320 --> 01:23:39,436 Perhaps it is the champagne. 1260 01:23:40,720 --> 01:23:42,154 For dinner? 1261 01:23:42,760 --> 01:23:47,152 Of course. Seven o'clock here? 1262 01:23:48,120 --> 01:23:50,316 Seven o'clock will be all right. 1263 01:23:52,000 --> 01:23:55,197 Come in. Yes. 1264 01:23:56,240 --> 01:23:57,799 Just a moment. 1265 01:23:59,600 --> 01:24:02,319 - You can leave it here. - Yes, madame. 1266 01:24:16,760 --> 01:24:18,319 Oh. 1267 01:24:52,880 --> 01:24:55,998 Operator, will you switch the call, please? 1268 01:24:56,160 --> 01:25:00,040 Darling, your present just arrived. 1269 01:25:00,240 --> 01:25:04,279 It's very silly and very wonderful. 1270 01:25:06,480 --> 01:25:07,709 What? 1271 01:25:08,720 --> 01:25:12,475 I won't forget. Seven o'clock. 1272 01:25:14,120 --> 01:25:16,350 Goodbye, darling. 1273 01:25:16,680 --> 01:25:18,478 What? 1274 01:25:19,520 --> 01:25:20,840 Oh. 1275 01:25:21,600 --> 01:25:23,034 Salute. 1276 01:25:32,400 --> 01:25:35,472 - Good afternoon, Jacqueline. - Good afternoon, Your Highness. 1277 01:25:35,640 --> 01:25:36,675 - Madame-- - Yes, I know. 1278 01:25:36,840 --> 01:25:39,434 You didn't find my other glove. It's all right. You're forgiven. 1279 01:25:39,600 --> 01:25:41,477 Thank you, Your Highness. 1280 01:25:41,640 --> 01:25:44,280 Count d'AIgout is waiting. He's been here for some time. 1281 01:25:44,440 --> 01:25:46,909 Oh, Count d'AIgout? Yes. 1282 01:25:51,520 --> 01:25:53,431 Oh, Leon, darling. How nice. 1283 01:25:53,600 --> 01:25:56,558 - Have you ordered tea or a cocktail? - No, thanks, Swana. 1284 01:25:56,720 --> 01:25:59,473 Did I act stupidly last night? Should I apologize? 1285 01:25:59,640 --> 01:26:03,395 No. I'm the one who should apologize. I should have talked to you before. 1286 01:26:03,560 --> 01:26:05,995 Is this, by any chance, going to be a confession? 1287 01:26:06,160 --> 01:26:08,310 - Yes. - Aw, no, no, no, my little Volga boatman. 1288 01:26:08,480 --> 01:26:10,357 Have you forgotten our first commandment? 1289 01:26:10,560 --> 01:26:12,358 Never complain, never explain. 1290 01:26:12,560 --> 01:26:16,076 It's worked so often and so perfectly in the past, let's not break the rule. 1291 01:26:16,240 --> 01:26:18,311 Please don't look so guilty. Otherwise, I-- 1292 01:26:18,520 --> 01:26:21,876 Swana, just this once, I must ask you to listen to me. 1293 01:26:23,000 --> 01:26:24,399 All right. 1294 01:26:27,000 --> 01:26:30,630 - I'm listening. - I know you hate the obvious. 1295 01:26:31,160 --> 01:26:34,073 But do you mind if, for the moment, I'm not the least subtle? 1296 01:26:34,240 --> 01:26:35,719 Brutal frankness, if you insist. 1297 01:26:37,120 --> 01:26:39,953 There are 100 ways of approaching it... 1298 01:26:40,120 --> 01:26:43,033 ...but I feel it can best be said in one simple phrase. 1299 01:26:43,200 --> 01:26:44,429 I'm in love, Swana. 1300 01:26:45,160 --> 01:26:49,358 Oh! And I thought it was something serious. Oh, how could you frighten me so? 1301 01:26:49,520 --> 01:26:50,794 It must be serious. 1302 01:26:50,960 --> 01:26:54,430 Not so long ago I'd have considered such a statement juvenile... 1303 01:26:54,640 --> 01:26:56,517 ...and rather middle-class. 1304 01:26:56,680 --> 01:27:00,799 Now I can say it without a stammer, without a blush. 1305 01:27:01,120 --> 01:27:02,394 I'm in love, Swana. 1306 01:27:02,560 --> 01:27:05,712 But, Leon, this has the ugly sound of regeneration. 1307 01:27:05,880 --> 01:27:09,157 - I'm afraid that's what it is, Swana. - Heh. Always late. 1308 01:27:09,320 --> 01:27:11,675 Same old trouble. Whether you're taking me to the opera... 1309 01:27:11,840 --> 01:27:14,195 ...or calling for me at a beauty shop, you're never on time. 1310 01:27:14,360 --> 01:27:20,470 Now, when it's a question of your reform, late again by about five minutes. 1311 01:27:21,560 --> 01:27:23,870 - What is this, Swana? - Knowing the efficiency... 1312 01:27:24,040 --> 01:27:26,953 ...of the French air service, I think I can safely guarantee... 1313 01:27:27,120 --> 01:27:28,952 ...Yakushova has taken off for Moscow. 1314 01:27:29,120 --> 01:27:32,715 - Has done what? - She's gone, Leon. 1315 01:27:32,880 --> 01:27:36,760 - You don't expect me to believe that? - There's the telephone. 1316 01:27:37,240 --> 01:27:41,029 If you call the hotel, you'll find you have no 7:00 appointment. 1317 01:27:50,000 --> 01:27:54,153 Imagine. For once in our lives we were in Paris... 1318 01:27:54,320 --> 01:27:58,109 -...and we never went to the Eiffel Tower. - That's right. 1319 01:27:58,280 --> 01:28:01,671 They tell me it has a wonderful restaurant on the second floor. 1320 01:28:01,840 --> 01:28:04,719 Yes, it is an amazing piece of engineering... 1321 01:28:04,920 --> 01:28:08,390 ...still the most remarkable iron structure in the world. 1322 01:28:09,760 --> 01:28:10,989 1323 01:28:11,160 --> 01:28:13,037 Leading to the top... 1324 01:28:13,200 --> 01:28:18,195 ...there is a staircase of over 1000 steps... 1325 01:28:18,360 --> 01:28:23,514 ...but there is an elevator included in the price of admission. 1326 01:28:36,800 --> 01:28:40,031 Well, everything's in order, I hope you will enjoy your trip to Russia. 1327 01:28:40,200 --> 01:28:42,919 Thank you. Oh, by the way, I've heard so many rumors... 1328 01:28:43,080 --> 01:28:46,960 ...about laundry conditions in Russia. Is it advisable to take one's own towels? 1329 01:28:47,120 --> 01:28:49,589 Certainly not, madame. That is only capitalistic propaganda. 1330 01:28:49,800 --> 01:28:52,076 - We change the towel every week. - Oh, thank you. 1331 01:28:54,320 --> 01:28:56,516 Hello. Comrade Cazabine? 1332 01:28:56,720 --> 01:28:59,838 No, I am sorry. He hasn't been with us for six months. 1333 01:29:00,000 --> 01:29:02,276 He was called back to Russia and was investigated. 1334 01:29:02,480 --> 01:29:06,599 You can get further details from his widow. You're very welcome. 1335 01:29:06,760 --> 01:29:09,036 Pardon me, I was interested in what you were just saying. 1336 01:29:09,200 --> 01:29:12,511 When an envoy goes back to Russia and they don't like what he's done... 1337 01:29:12,680 --> 01:29:14,751 -...they put him out of the way? - Not always. 1338 01:29:14,920 --> 01:29:17,434 Look at me. I've been back twice. 1339 01:29:17,600 --> 01:29:19,591 Here's my passport. Please give me a visa. 1340 01:29:19,760 --> 01:29:24,072 - I must leave for Russia immediately. - Count Leon d'AIgout. A count. 1341 01:29:24,240 --> 01:29:26,197 - A nobleman. - Don't hold that against me, please. 1342 01:29:26,360 --> 01:29:28,271 Why should an aristocrat go to Russia? 1343 01:29:28,440 --> 01:29:29,999 - Business. - What business? 1344 01:29:30,160 --> 01:29:32,993 - Private. - There is no private business in Russia. 1345 01:29:33,160 --> 01:29:37,154 This whole thing seems very suspicious. What is the real reason? 1346 01:29:37,320 --> 01:29:40,312 If you ever want to get into Russia, take my advice. Confess. 1347 01:29:40,520 --> 01:29:43,080 Listen. I'll be absolutely frank with you. 1348 01:29:43,240 --> 01:29:45,959 - I have no business in Moscow. - I think so too. 1349 01:29:46,120 --> 01:29:48,475 I want to see a friend of mine, a very dear friend. 1350 01:29:48,640 --> 01:29:52,349 It's a personal matter that has no relation to social philosophies or politics. 1351 01:29:52,520 --> 01:29:55,672 - It's a girl. - It is love which drags you to Moscow. 1352 01:29:55,840 --> 01:29:57,478 - Yes. - No visa. 1353 01:29:57,640 --> 01:30:00,519 - But I must get into that country of yours. - Oh, no. No visa. 1354 01:30:00,680 --> 01:30:03,832 But that's impossible. You can't do it! You haven't the right to- 1355 01:30:04,040 --> 01:30:07,590 - Listen. If you don't give me that visa- - You're going to force us, huh? 1356 01:30:07,760 --> 01:30:10,593 You advertise all over the world for people to go into your country. 1357 01:30:10,800 --> 01:30:12,632 When somebody tries, you won't let them! 1358 01:30:12,840 --> 01:30:14,513 - Why should I take a chance? - On what? 1359 01:30:14,720 --> 01:30:17,030 How do I know you don't want to blow up a factory? 1360 01:30:17,200 --> 01:30:19,032 - What for? Why? - Or a tunnel or bridge? 1361 01:30:19,200 --> 01:30:21,635 Nothing but suspicions. That's the trouble with you. 1362 01:30:21,800 --> 01:30:25,475 Listen, if you don't let me in, I'll stand in front of this office of yours... 1363 01:30:25,640 --> 01:30:27,472 ...and warn people to keep away. 1364 01:30:27,640 --> 01:30:31,793 I'll picket your whole country. I'll boycott you, that's what I'll do. 1365 01:30:31,960 --> 01:30:36,431 No more vodka, no more caviar, no more Tchaikovsky, no more borscht! 1366 01:30:36,600 --> 01:30:39,592 - Wait a minute. I've got a better idea. - What? 1367 01:30:40,680 --> 01:30:43,274 And you can tell the Kremlin that's just the beginning. 1368 01:30:43,440 --> 01:30:44,794 No visa. 1369 01:30:46,200 --> 01:30:48,919 March! March! March! 1370 01:30:49,080 --> 01:30:50,514 Comrades of the world... 1371 01:30:50,680 --> 01:30:53,638 ...never has there been such a May Day parade as this. 1372 01:31:38,600 --> 01:31:40,830 - Good afternoon, Anna. - Good afternoon, Ninotchka. 1373 01:31:41,000 --> 01:31:42,149 Aren't you late? 1374 01:31:42,320 --> 01:31:45,597 No. The opera starts an hour later tonight on account of the parade. 1375 01:31:45,760 --> 01:31:49,435 - Didn't you march today? - They didn't let me. I'm in disgrace. 1376 01:31:49,600 --> 01:31:52,752 Last week, at the performance of Cannen, I played a sour note. 1377 01:31:52,920 --> 01:31:54,911 The conductor got so excited, he yelled: 1378 01:31:55,080 --> 01:31:57,833 "There is sabotage in the string section!" 1379 01:31:59,240 --> 01:32:01,914 Too bad, Anna. You missed an inspiring day. 1380 01:32:02,080 --> 01:32:05,277 Yes, I know. Are you expecting someone? 1381 01:32:05,440 --> 01:32:09,195 - A few friends. Just a small dinner party. - And what are you serving? 1382 01:32:09,360 --> 01:32:12,000 - An omelet. - An omelet? 1383 01:32:12,160 --> 01:32:14,436 Aren't you living a little above your ration? 1384 01:32:14,600 --> 01:32:15,920 I saved two eggs... 1385 01:32:16,080 --> 01:32:18,879 ...and each of my friends is bringing his own. We'll manage. 1386 01:32:19,040 --> 01:32:21,270 Just goes to prove the theory of our State. 1387 01:32:21,440 --> 01:32:23,750 If you stand alone, it means a boiled egg... 1388 01:32:23,920 --> 01:32:27,834 ...but if you're true to the collective spirit and stick together, you've got an omelet. 1389 01:32:28,000 --> 01:32:32,119 Heh. That reminds me. Have you heard the latest they're telling about the Kremlin? 1390 01:32:32,280 --> 01:32:35,511 Well, one man... I'll tell you later. 1391 01:32:47,120 --> 01:32:48,349 Ah, that Gurganov. 1392 01:32:48,520 --> 01:32:51,956 You never know whether he's on his way to the washroom, or the Secret Police. 1393 01:32:52,120 --> 01:32:54,634 - You should be more careful, Anna. - And you too, Ninotchka. 1394 01:32:54,800 --> 01:32:57,997 - About what? - Ever since you've been back from Paris- 1395 01:32:58,160 --> 01:33:01,278 I haven't talked to anyone about Paris. I haven't said a word. 1396 01:33:01,440 --> 01:33:04,000 That's just it. It makes people feel queer. 1397 01:33:04,160 --> 01:33:06,151 And I don't want you to get in any trouble. 1398 01:33:06,320 --> 01:33:09,551 - I have nothing to hide. - You should. I'll show you. 1399 01:33:10,840 --> 01:33:13,070 When I passed through the laundry yard today... 1400 01:33:13,240 --> 01:33:17,120 ...I saw all the women huddled around this, so I brought it up here. 1401 01:33:17,320 --> 01:33:21,154 Things like this create a bad feeling. First they didn't know whose it was... 1402 01:33:21,360 --> 01:33:24,432 ...and then they saw the Paris label and did it start a commotion. 1403 01:33:24,600 --> 01:33:26,876 Some said it's what we all ought to wear. 1404 01:33:27,040 --> 01:33:30,032 Others said it's like hanging foreign ideas on our clothesline. 1405 01:33:30,200 --> 01:33:33,079 - It undermines our whole cause. - I see. 1406 01:33:33,240 --> 01:33:35,709 You know how it is today. All you have to do is wear... 1407 01:33:35,920 --> 01:33:39,231 ...a pair of silk stockings, and they suspect you of counter-revolution. 1408 01:33:39,400 --> 01:33:42,313 Thank you, Anna. I'll dry it up here when I wash it next. 1409 01:33:42,480 --> 01:33:46,269 I should hate to see our country endangered by my underwear. 1410 01:33:46,440 --> 01:33:50,354 Ninotchka, I'm your friend. You can trust me. 1411 01:33:50,560 --> 01:33:53,120 - Did you bring back anything else? - No. 1412 01:33:53,280 --> 01:33:57,114 I left everything in Paris. I just happened to be wearing this. 1413 01:33:57,280 --> 01:34:00,079 Tell me, what else did you have? 1414 01:34:00,240 --> 01:34:03,039 Well, a hat. 1415 01:34:03,240 --> 01:34:04,878 What was it like? 1416 01:34:05,040 --> 01:34:08,954 Oh, it was very silly. I'd be ashamed to wear it here. 1417 01:34:09,160 --> 01:34:11,674 As beautiful as that. 1418 01:34:11,840 --> 01:34:13,911 What else? Come, tell me. 1419 01:34:15,280 --> 01:34:18,910 - An evening gown. - An evening gown? 1420 01:34:19,080 --> 01:34:21,230 Yes, it's a dress you wear in the evening. 1421 01:34:21,400 --> 01:34:23,198 What do you wear in the morning? 1422 01:34:23,360 --> 01:34:28,036 When you get up you wear a negligee, then you change into a morning frock. 1423 01:34:28,200 --> 01:34:32,239 You mean to tell me you wear a different dress for different times of the day? 1424 01:34:32,400 --> 01:34:35,756 - Yes. - Now, Ninotchka, you are exaggerating. 1425 01:34:35,920 --> 01:34:40,391 No, it's true. That's how they live in the other world. 1426 01:34:40,560 --> 01:34:43,552 Here we dress to cover up our bodies. To keep warm. 1427 01:34:43,720 --> 01:34:45,438 And there? 1428 01:34:45,600 --> 01:34:50,356 Sometimes they're not completely covered, but, uh, they don't freeze. 1429 01:34:51,280 --> 01:34:55,353 Oh, they must have wonderful materials to make a thing like this. 1430 01:34:55,520 --> 01:34:57,113 So soft. 1431 01:34:57,280 --> 01:35:00,272 - Something you don't even see. - You feel it, though. 1432 01:35:01,320 --> 01:35:05,712 Ninotchka, I wouldn't bring this up if we weren't such good friends. 1433 01:35:05,880 --> 01:35:07,200 What is it, Anna? 1434 01:35:07,360 --> 01:35:11,115 You know I told you that Pavlov and I are going to get married... 1435 01:35:11,280 --> 01:35:13,590 -...when he comes back from the maneuvers. - Mm. 1436 01:35:13,760 --> 01:35:15,512 Would it be asking too much if...? 1437 01:35:15,680 --> 01:35:17,956 - You want this? - Just for the honeymoon. 1438 01:35:18,120 --> 01:35:20,919 - It's yours for good. - Ninotchka. 1439 01:35:21,080 --> 01:35:22,434 Ninotchka! 1440 01:35:23,360 --> 01:35:25,636 Thank you. Thank you very much. 1441 01:35:25,800 --> 01:35:28,872 I'll never, never forget what you've done. 1442 01:35:29,040 --> 01:35:31,714 Am I going to play that cadenza tonight! 1443 01:35:45,400 --> 01:35:49,155 Individuals, yes. As atoms in the cosmos of Soviet Russia. 1444 01:35:49,320 --> 01:35:53,917 And 30 million peasants, 85 percent of the population... 1445 01:35:54,080 --> 01:35:56,993 Into an automobile and the muzhik into a tractor... 1446 01:35:57,160 --> 01:35:59,549 ...and then let the capitalists try to keep-- 1447 01:36:04,560 --> 01:36:05,880 No music. 1448 01:36:11,320 --> 01:36:12,913 Ninotchka! 1449 01:36:13,560 --> 01:36:18,031 Aw, Buljanoff, Iranoff, and Kopalski! How are you, you three scoundrels? 1450 01:36:18,200 --> 01:36:19,952 Well, we are back home. 1451 01:36:20,120 --> 01:36:22,430 You know what they say, there is nothing like home. 1452 01:36:22,600 --> 01:36:24,079 And we might as well face it. 1453 01:36:24,240 --> 01:36:27,039 Now, you mustn't talk that way, you must adjust yourselves. 1454 01:36:27,200 --> 01:36:29,919 - Let's be brave. - Brave, that's right. 1455 01:36:30,080 --> 01:36:32,754 - Come and sit down. - Let's be happy that we are all alive. 1456 01:36:32,920 --> 01:36:34,069 That we owe to Ninotchka. 1457 01:36:34,240 --> 01:36:37,631 If you hadn't given Commissar Razinin such a wonderful report about us... 1458 01:36:37,800 --> 01:36:40,269 -...who knows what would've happened? - I can tell you exactly. 1459 01:36:40,480 --> 01:36:42,790 Let's forget everything, except we're together. 1460 01:36:42,960 --> 01:36:46,032 - Yes, let's do that. - It's a real Paris reunion. 1461 01:36:46,200 --> 01:36:49,909 If you close your eyes and listen to our voices, we might be in Paris. 1462 01:36:50,080 --> 01:36:53,630 Let's not close our eyes. There are many good things to see here too. 1463 01:36:53,800 --> 01:36:56,155 Look how nicely she has arranged the table. 1464 01:36:56,320 --> 01:37:00,791 Yes, how lovely. And what a wonderful room you have here. 1465 01:37:01,000 --> 01:37:04,959 - How many families live here with you? - Only myself and two other girls. 1466 01:37:05,120 --> 01:37:08,192 One is a cello player, and the other's a streetcar conductor. 1467 01:37:08,360 --> 01:37:13,560 - Just three people in a room this size? Ooh. - Buljanoff, look here. 1468 01:37:13,760 --> 01:37:15,398 - Isn't that wonderful? - Look at this. 1469 01:37:15,560 --> 01:37:18,632 - What good material. - Naturally, it's not the royal suite. 1470 01:37:18,800 --> 01:37:21,679 Comrades, once and for all, we are in Moscow. 1471 01:37:21,840 --> 01:37:25,310 Yes, there's no doubt of that. Just look out of the window and there it is. 1472 01:37:25,520 --> 01:37:26,794 And it's great. 1473 01:37:26,960 --> 01:37:29,998 Think what it was a few years ago and what it is now. 1474 01:37:30,160 --> 01:37:32,071 It's a tremendous achievement. 1475 01:37:32,280 --> 01:37:34,715 - You must be reasonable, comrades. - She is right. 1476 01:37:34,880 --> 01:37:36,632 Anyhow, let's talk ourselves into it. 1477 01:37:36,800 --> 01:37:40,589 All right. It's great. It's marvelous. It's wonderful. 1478 01:37:40,760 --> 01:37:42,797 Just see how happy the people look from here. 1479 01:37:43,000 --> 01:37:45,560 Can you blame them? At least the May Day parade is over. 1480 01:37:45,720 --> 01:37:47,518 That's another thing. It's spring. 1481 01:37:47,680 --> 01:37:50,399 The same spring we had in Paris. Just as good. 1482 01:37:50,560 --> 01:37:52,631 - Even the swallows are back. - Really? 1483 01:37:52,840 --> 01:37:57,232 Yes, that's right. Maybe it's the same swallow we saw in Paris. 1484 01:37:57,400 --> 01:38:00,074 Yes, it is, Ninotchka. It is. 1485 01:38:00,240 --> 01:38:03,278 He must have been in Paris. You can see it in his whole attitude. 1486 01:38:03,480 --> 01:38:07,030 He picked up a crumb of our black bread, shook his head and dropped it. 1487 01:38:07,200 --> 01:38:10,636 We must be patient. Finally we got the spring, didn't we? 1488 01:38:10,800 --> 01:38:13,360 Oh, let's forget the future. Let's stop being sentimental. 1489 01:38:13,520 --> 01:38:15,875 - Let's start that omelet. - That's right. 1490 01:38:16,040 --> 01:38:18,793 - Here is my egg. - And here is mine. 1491 01:38:18,960 --> 01:38:20,598 And here are mine. 1492 01:38:20,760 --> 01:38:23,832 I don't know, where's my egg? I had an egg too. 1493 01:38:25,800 --> 01:38:28,030 Comrades, I am out of the omelet. 1494 01:38:28,200 --> 01:38:30,237 - Don't worry, there'll be enough. - Of course. 1495 01:38:30,400 --> 01:38:32,596 - Thank you. - Now come over here. 1496 01:38:33,880 --> 01:38:36,872 Come, Ninotchka, let's make it in real Parisian style. 1497 01:38:37,040 --> 01:38:39,919 - Yeah. - Let's fill it with comfiture des prunes. 1498 01:38:52,880 --> 01:38:54,632 A man like that... 1499 01:38:54,800 --> 01:38:58,156 ...all he has to do is walk through a room and the omelet drops. 1500 01:38:58,320 --> 01:38:59,515 1501 01:39:01,080 --> 01:39:02,832 Paris 1502 01:39:03,040 --> 01:39:05,793 I still adore you 1503 01:39:06,000 --> 01:39:07,593 Adore you, ha-ha-ha 1504 01:39:07,760 --> 01:39:10,400 Paris 1505 01:39:10,560 --> 01:39:12,710 I'm longing for you 1506 01:39:12,920 --> 01:39:15,116 For you, for you, Pan's 1507 01:39:15,280 --> 01:39:17,510 For you 1508 01:39:17,720 --> 01:39:20,917 I left my heart my with you 1509 01:39:22,240 --> 01:39:25,039 - For you NINOTCHKA: Shh. 1510 01:39:47,160 --> 01:39:50,152 Comrade Yakushova, here, the postman left this letter for you. 1511 01:39:50,320 --> 01:39:52,596 Thank you, Vladimir. Thank you. 1512 01:39:59,360 --> 01:40:02,159 - What is it, Ninotchka? - Ninotchka, what is it? 1513 01:40:02,320 --> 01:40:03,913 - It's from Paris. - From Paris? 1514 01:40:04,080 --> 01:40:05,753 - A bill? - From Leon. 1515 01:40:05,920 --> 01:40:07,797 - From Leon? - How is he, tell us? 1516 01:40:07,960 --> 01:40:09,997 Shh! 1517 01:40:45,720 --> 01:40:46,949 Bad news? 1518 01:41:12,920 --> 01:41:15,719 - Well, I think it's getting late. - Hmm. 1519 01:41:17,520 --> 01:41:19,397 Good night, Ninotchka. 1520 01:41:20,200 --> 01:41:22,316 Thanks for a wonderful dinner. 1521 01:41:25,360 --> 01:41:27,636 - Good night, Ninotchka. - Good night. 1522 01:41:28,400 --> 01:41:29,754 Good night. 1523 01:41:33,240 --> 01:41:36,949 They can't censor our memories, can they? 1524 01:41:37,120 --> 01:41:38,394 1525 01:42:13,840 --> 01:42:14,875 Come in. 1526 01:42:22,920 --> 01:42:25,912 - Good morning, comrade. - Good morning, Comrade Commissar. 1527 01:42:26,080 --> 01:42:29,675 Here's my report on materials available for trading in the next four months. 1528 01:42:29,840 --> 01:42:32,195 Does it include the products of the far eastern provinces? 1529 01:42:32,360 --> 01:42:35,478 - Yes, it does. Yes. - You've finished the whole investigation? 1530 01:42:35,640 --> 01:42:38,075 That's marvelous. You must have worked day and night. 1531 01:42:38,240 --> 01:42:40,914 - Don't you ever sleep? - I need very little sleep. 1532 01:42:41,080 --> 01:42:44,118 We must be extremely careful what goods we take in exchange. 1533 01:42:44,280 --> 01:42:47,033 I have already started a survey on our most urgent needs. 1534 01:42:47,200 --> 01:42:51,273 Comrade, I am afraid you will have to turn over that work to someone else. 1535 01:42:51,440 --> 01:42:53,192 May I ask why? 1536 01:42:53,360 --> 01:42:55,874 - Please sit down. - Thank you. 1537 01:42:56,040 --> 01:42:58,031 Now, comrade, have you heard from your friends... 1538 01:42:58,200 --> 01:42:59,952 ...Kopalski, Buljanoff, and Iranoff? 1539 01:43:00,120 --> 01:43:01,474 - No. - I haven't either... 1540 01:43:01,640 --> 01:43:03,950 ...but I have heard about them. You must realize... 1541 01:43:04,120 --> 01:43:08,034 ...it was on the strength of your Paris report that I sent them to Constantinople. 1542 01:43:08,240 --> 01:43:10,390 Without that, I never would have trusted them... 1543 01:43:10,560 --> 01:43:14,155 -...on a mission as important as a fur deal. - May I ask what has happened? 1544 01:43:14,320 --> 01:43:17,631 If I told you what's going on in Constantinople right now... 1545 01:43:17,800 --> 01:43:19,279 ...you wouldn't believe it. 1546 01:43:19,440 --> 01:43:21,875 They are sitting there, those three, for six weeks... 1547 01:43:22,040 --> 01:43:26,318 ...and haven't sold a piece of fur. This anonymous report was sent to me. 1548 01:43:26,480 --> 01:43:30,474 They are dragging the good name of our country through every cafe and nightclub. 1549 01:43:30,680 --> 01:43:34,992 Here. "How can the Bolshevik cause gain respect among the Moslems... 1550 01:43:35,160 --> 01:43:39,677 ...if your three representatives, Buljanoff, Iranoff, and Kopalski, get so drunk... 1551 01:43:39,840 --> 01:43:42,480 ...that they throw a carpet out of their hotel window... 1552 01:43:42,640 --> 01:43:45,109 ...and complain to the management that it didn't fly.“ 1553 01:43:45,320 --> 01:43:47,277 Unbelievable! It's an outrage. 1554 01:43:47,840 --> 01:43:51,799 They shouldn't do such things. Are you sure this report's correct? 1555 01:43:51,960 --> 01:43:55,510 Naturally, I want to verify it, and that's why I need you. 1556 01:43:56,240 --> 01:43:59,835 - You want me to go to Constantinople? - Yes, leaving immediately. 1557 01:44:00,040 --> 01:44:02,350 I appreciate your confidence in me... 1558 01:44:02,520 --> 01:44:05,478 ...but I must ask you to entrust someone else with this mission. 1559 01:44:05,640 --> 01:44:07,870 I should hate to interrupt my present work. 1560 01:44:08,040 --> 01:44:10,190 I am positive my survey is more important... 1561 01:44:10,360 --> 01:44:13,193 ...than finding out whether three of our comrades have been... 1562 01:44:13,360 --> 01:44:15,351 ...drinking some extra glasses of champagne. 1563 01:44:15,560 --> 01:44:17,551 That is for me to decide, Comrade Yakushova. 1564 01:44:17,720 --> 01:44:21,873 I am sorry. I don't want to overstep my position... 1565 01:44:22,040 --> 01:44:25,556 ...but please don't send me. Please, comrade, let me stay here. 1566 01:44:25,720 --> 01:44:28,314 Let me finish my work. I'm in the rhythm of it now. 1567 01:44:28,480 --> 01:44:29,800 I don't want to go away. 1568 01:44:29,960 --> 01:44:32,679 I don't wanna be sent into that foreign atmosphere again. 1569 01:44:32,840 --> 01:44:34,114 It throws you out of gear. 1570 01:44:34,280 --> 01:44:37,875 Let me finish my work. I have concentrated everything in it. 1571 01:44:38,080 --> 01:44:40,151 Please don't make me go. 1572 01:44:40,320 --> 01:44:45,349 Don't waste my time, comrade. Do your duty. Goodbye. 1573 01:44:45,520 --> 01:44:47,318 I shall do my best. 1574 01:45:29,360 --> 01:45:32,193 How do you like it, Ninotchka? Isn't it wonderful? 1575 01:45:32,360 --> 01:45:35,352 - Tell us, Ninotchka. - Buljanoff, Iranoff, Kopalski- 1576 01:45:35,520 --> 01:45:37,909 Now, please don't start figuring it out in cows. 1577 01:45:38,080 --> 01:45:41,869 You've done it again, and I'm responsible. How can you forget yourselves this way? 1578 01:45:42,040 --> 01:45:44,270 You were sent here to make money, not to spend it. 1579 01:45:44,480 --> 01:45:46,994 Buljanoff, she still has those old-fashioned ideas. 1580 01:45:47,160 --> 01:45:49,720 - It is high time she got out of Russia. - Comrades. 1581 01:45:49,880 --> 01:45:52,554 - I must be stem with you. - That's our old Ninotchka. 1582 01:45:52,720 --> 01:45:57,157 Don't forget the day will come when you will have to face Razinin. 1583 01:45:57,320 --> 01:45:59,789 Ninotchka! Razinin? 1584 01:45:59,960 --> 01:46:03,999 Good old Razinin. Is he still alive? How does he manage? 1585 01:46:04,160 --> 01:46:07,198 - Comrades- - Friends, Ninotchka, we are friends. 1586 01:46:07,360 --> 01:46:09,556 Imagine, we don't have to whisper anymore. 1587 01:46:09,720 --> 01:46:11,358 No. We can say whatever we want. 1588 01:46:11,520 --> 01:46:14,797 We can shout, we can complain. Look. 1589 01:46:17,560 --> 01:46:20,200 The service in this hotel is terrible! 1590 01:46:21,840 --> 01:46:25,674 See? Nobody comes, nobody pays any attention. 1591 01:46:25,840 --> 01:46:28,434 - That's freedom. - That's bad management. 1592 01:46:28,600 --> 01:46:31,319 Is it possible to bring you back to reality for one moment? 1593 01:46:31,480 --> 01:46:34,074 I must have a complete report of your negotiations... 1594 01:46:34,280 --> 01:46:37,432 -...and a detailed expense account. - No, no, Ninotchka, don't ask for it. 1595 01:46:37,600 --> 01:46:39,432 There is a Turkish proverb which says: 1596 01:46:39,600 --> 01:46:41,910 "If something smells bad, why put your nose in it?" 1597 01:46:42,120 --> 01:46:43,554 There is an old Russian saying: 1598 01:46:43,720 --> 01:46:46,917 “The cat who has cream on his whiskers had better find good excuses." 1599 01:46:47,080 --> 01:46:48,718 With our cream situation as it is... 1600 01:46:48,920 --> 01:46:51,196 ...it's Russia that should apologize to the cats. 1601 01:46:51,360 --> 01:46:54,239 I don't know how I can get you out of it this time. 1602 01:46:54,400 --> 01:46:55,629 How will it end? 1603 01:46:55,840 --> 01:46:57,399 - Shall we tell her? - Yes. 1604 01:46:58,640 --> 01:47:01,792 - Ninotchka, I hope you'll be our guest. - Guest? 1605 01:47:01,960 --> 01:47:05,590 - Yes, we have opened a restaurant. - A restaurant? 1606 01:47:05,760 --> 01:47:08,115 We have a wonderful electric sign: 1607 01:47:08,280 --> 01:47:10,590 “Dine with Buljanoff, Iranoff, and Kopalski." 1608 01:47:10,760 --> 01:47:12,831 You mean you're deserting Russia? 1609 01:47:13,000 --> 01:47:17,631 Ninotchka, don't call it desertion. Our little restaurant, that is our Russia. 1610 01:47:17,800 --> 01:47:20,997 The Russia of borscht, the Russia of beef Stroganoff. 1611 01:47:21,200 --> 01:47:24,477 - Of blinis and sour cream. - The Russia of pirozhki. 1612 01:47:24,640 --> 01:47:28,076 - People will eat and love it. - We are not only serving good food... 1613 01:47:28,240 --> 01:47:31,119 ...we are serving our country. We are making friends. 1614 01:47:31,280 --> 01:47:34,716 Who gave you this idea? What's responsible for all this? 1615 01:47:34,920 --> 01:47:38,595 There is something in Constantinople, something irresistible. 1616 01:47:38,800 --> 01:47:41,030 It's in the air. It may come around the corner... 1617 01:47:41,200 --> 01:47:44,158 -...when you walk down the street. - It may step out of a bazaar. 1618 01:47:44,320 --> 01:47:48,029 It may be waiting for you in a corridor. It may hide in the shadow of a minaret. 1619 01:47:48,200 --> 01:47:50,271 And right now it's on the balcony. 1620 01:47:55,600 --> 01:47:57,830 They wouldn't let me in, so I had to get you out. 1621 01:48:02,320 --> 01:48:03,958 Leon. 1622 01:48:04,480 --> 01:48:06,073 Ninotchka. 1623 01:48:06,240 --> 01:48:11,030 So you're behind all this. I should have known. 1624 01:48:28,840 --> 01:48:31,195 Trying to keep me away from you. 1625 01:48:31,600 --> 01:48:33,796 As though that were possible. 1626 01:48:34,400 --> 01:48:38,553 Naturally, I couldn't go on forever punching passport officials in the nose... 1627 01:48:38,720 --> 01:48:40,472 ...but I found a way, didn't I? 1628 01:48:40,640 --> 01:48:43,200 Oh, darling, I had to see you. I wrote and wrote. 1629 01:48:43,360 --> 01:48:44,794 All my letters came back to me. 1630 01:48:44,960 --> 01:48:47,634 And the one I got, they wouldn't let me read. 1631 01:48:47,800 --> 01:48:50,679 It began, "Ninotchka, my darling"... 1632 01:48:50,840 --> 01:48:53,400 ...and it ended "Yours, Leon." 1633 01:48:54,520 --> 01:48:57,034 I won't tell you what came between. 1634 01:48:57,200 --> 01:48:59,350 I'll show you, I'll prove it. 1635 01:49:00,640 --> 01:49:03,029 But it'll take a long time, Ninotchka. 1636 01:49:03,920 --> 01:49:05,149 At least a lifetime. 1637 01:49:07,000 --> 01:49:10,709 Oh, but, Leon, I'm only here for a few days. 1638 01:49:10,880 --> 01:49:15,238 All right, if you don't stay with me, then I'll have to continue my fight. 1639 01:49:15,440 --> 01:49:17,750 I'll travel wherever there are Russian commissions. 1640 01:49:17,920 --> 01:49:20,673 I'll turn them all into Iranoffs, Buljanoffs, and Kopalskis. 1641 01:49:20,840 --> 01:49:22,831 The world will be crowded with Russian restaurants. 1642 01:49:23,000 --> 01:49:24,718 I'll depopulate Russia. 1643 01:49:25,400 --> 01:49:30,429 Comrade, once you saved your country by going back. 1644 01:49:30,600 --> 01:49:32,830 This time you can only save it by staying here. 1645 01:49:35,280 --> 01:49:38,477 Well, if it is a choice between my personal interest... 1646 01:49:38,640 --> 01:49:42,520 ...and the good of my country, how can I waver? 1647 01:49:42,720 --> 01:49:46,839 No one shall say Ninotchka was a bad Russian. 1648 01:49:47,000 --> 01:49:48,434 Darling. 141177

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