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1
00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:00,557
Is there anything
I can do for you, monsieur?
2
00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:02,956
No. No, no.
3
00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:13,630
Yes, monsieur?
4
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,393
Just looking around.
5
00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:35,434
Comrades, why should we lie
to each other? It's wonderful.
6
00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:38,194
Let's be honest.
Have we anything like it in Russia?
7
00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:39,395
8
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:42,313
Can you imagine what the beds would be
in a hotel like that?
9
00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:44,869
They tell me when you ring once,
the valet comes in.
10
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:46,838
When you ring twice, you get a waiter.
11
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,719
And do you know what happens
when you ring three times?
12
00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:52,838
A maid comes in. A French maid.
13
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:56,880
Comrades, if we ring nine times-
Let's go in.
14
00:02:57,040 --> 00:02:58,189
Just a minute.
15
00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:00,960
I have nothing against the idea,
but I still say...
16
00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:03,031
...let's go back to the Hotel Terminus.
17
00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:06,710
Moscow made our reservations there.
We are on an official mission...
18
00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:09,713
...and we have no right
to change the orders of our superiors.
19
00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:11,518
Where is your courage, Buljanoff?
20
00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:14,035
Are you the Buljanoff
who fought on the barricades?
21
00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:16,316
Now you are afraid
to take a room with a bath?
22
00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:19,677
- I don't want to go to Siberia.
- I don't want to go to Hotel Terminus.
23
00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:21,234
And I don't want to...
24
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:24,438
- No, no.
- Listen to me.
25
00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:27,439
Look, Buljanoff, if Lenin were alive,
he would say:
26
00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:30,359
“Buljanoff, comrade,
for once in your life, you're in Paris.
27
00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:32,915
Don't be a fool.
Go in there and ring three times."
28
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:34,115
He wouldn't say that.
29
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:37,318
What he would say is:
"You can't afford to live in a cheap hotel.
30
00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:40,313
Doesn't the prestige of the Bolsheviks
mean anything to you?
31
00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:42,039
Do you want to live in a hotel...
32
00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:44,709
...where you press for the hot water
and cold comes...
33
00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:47,633
...and when you press for cold water,
nothing comes at all?"
34
00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:49,074
Phooey, Buljanoff.
35
00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:51,959
I still say our place
is with the common people.
36
00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:55,192
But who am I to contradict Lenin?
Let's go in.
37
00:03:58,040 --> 00:03:59,713
- Are you the manager?
- Yes, monsieur.
38
00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:01,911
Pardon me for introducing
Comrade Iranoff...
39
00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:04,276
-...member of the Russian Board of Trade.
- Monsieur.
40
00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:06,192
- This is Comrade Kopalski.
- Monsieur.
41
00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:08,158
- And I am Comrade Buljanoff.
- Monsieur.
42
00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:10,550
May I ask you how much your rooms are?
43
00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:13,234
Well, gentlemen, I'm afraid
our rates are rather high.
44
00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,391
Why should you be afraid? Heh.
45
00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:18,190
I might be able to accommodate you.
46
00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:19,993
- Is there some more luggage?
Yes.
47
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,231
But have you a safe
big enough to hold this?
48
00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:25,279
I'm afraid we have no boxes
of that size in the vault...
49
00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:28,239
-...but there's a suite with a private safe.
- That's even better.
50
00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:31,313
- But, gentlemen, I'm afraid-
- He's always afraid.
51
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,676
I just wanted to explain.
52
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:35,478
The apartment may suit
your convenience...
53
00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:38,029
...but I doubt whether
it will fit your convictions.
54
00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:40,032
- It's the royal suite.
- The royal suite?
55
00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:41,315
Just a minute.
56
00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:45,553
Comrades, I warn you, if it gets out in
Moscow that we stay in the royal suite...
57
00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:47,114
...we'll get into terrible trouble.
58
00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:49,669
We just tell them we had to do it
on account of the safe.
59
00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:52,593
That's a perfect excuse.
There was no other safe big enough.
60
00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:54,797
- That's right.
- That's fine.
61
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:56,917
Of course, we could take out the pieces...
62
00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:59,913
...and distribute them
in three or four boxes in the vault...
63
00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:01,434
...and take a small room.
64
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:04,672
- That's an idea, isn't it?
- Yes, that's an idea.
65
00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:06,558
But who said we have to have an idea?
66
00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:08,757
- That's right. Ha-ha-ha.
- That's very good.
67
00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:12,113
- Give us the royal suite.
- Step this way, please.
68
00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:34,035
69
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,635
Please connect me with Mercier.
Yes, the jeweler.
70
00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:43,799
Hell--? Hello? No, I want to speak
to Monsieur Mercier personally.
71
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:45,359
72
00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:46,954
Hello, Monsieur Mercier?
73
00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:49,794
This is Iranoff,
member of the Russian Board of Trade.
74
00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:53,794
Yes, we arrived this morning.
Oh, thank you very, very much.
75
00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:56,349
Yes, we have everything here.
The necklace too.
76
00:05:56,520 --> 00:05:59,558
All 14 pieces at the... What?
77
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:01,752
No, Monsieur Mercier.
78
00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:06,033
The court jewels of the Grand
Duchess Swana consisted of 14 pieces.
79
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,077
Why don't you check on that?
80
00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:11,073
Of course, we have
all the necessary credentials.
81
00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:14,639
Will you take care of the royal suite?
I'll be back in 10 minutes.
82
00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:17,269
- All right, Rakonin.
- Thank you very much. Thank you.
83
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:20,110
-8 rue de Chalon.
- Yeah, monsieur.
84
00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:42,474
- Hello, Leon.
- Moming, Swana.
85
00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:45,280
It's really a wretched morning.
Wretched. I can't get myself right.
86
00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:47,351
I wanted to look mellow
and I look brittle.
87
00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:49,989
My face doesn't compose well.
It's all highlights.
88
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,913
How can I dim myself down, Leon?
Suggest something.
89
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:56,869
Oh, I'm so bored with this face.
I wish I had someone else's face.
90
00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:59,077
Whose face would you have
if you had your choice?
91
00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:01,709
Oh, well, I guess one gets the face
one deserves.
92
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:03,871
There's one marvelous advantage
to your conversation.
93
00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:06,793
However many questions you ask,
you never expect an answer.
94
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,553
- Don't you find that restful?
- Mm-hm.
95
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,109
- Good morning, darling.
- Good morning.
96
00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:14,551
- Why didn't you come last night?
- Darling, I was looking after your interests.
97
00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:15,755
Did you win?
98
00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:18,196
We can forget horse racing,
roulette, everything.
99
00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:22,035
Our worries are over. You remember
the platinum watch with the diamond numbers?
100
00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:26,433
- You'll be in a position to give it to me now.
- Oh, darling, you're so good to me.
101
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:31,194
We could be rich, if you say the word.
I had dinner with the Guizots last night.
102
00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:33,397
- Those awful newspaper people?
- You'd be surprised...
103
00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:37,758
-...how many nice people dine with the Guizots.
- Gruesome proof of the power of the press.
104
00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:40,753
I sold Monsieur Guizot the idea
of publishing your memoirs...
105
00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:42,593
-...in the Gazette Parisienne.
- What?
106
00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:44,876
The Life and Loves
of the Grand Duchess Swans.
107
00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:46,075
Oh, Leon.
108
00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:49,756
We won't have to worry about our future
if you're willing to raffle off your past.
109
00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:50,910
110
00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:52,400
Come in.
111
00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:58,392
Count Rakonin asks the privilege
of a few words, Your Highness.
112
00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:01,120
- Rakonin?
- He's a waiter at the Clarence, poor devil.
113
00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:02,475
- You know him.
- Oh, yes.
114
00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:04,711
I won't be able to see him
for half an hour.
115
00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:07,196
The count says if it could be
as soon as possible.
116
00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:09,590
It's luncheon time,
and he's just between courses.
117
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,074
I'll see him right away.
118
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:15,393
- I can't get myself right today--
- Count Rakonin's between courses.
119
00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:18,757
- My little Volga, mwah, boatman.
- Mm.
120
00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:23,754
- How do you do, my friend? Won't you sit?
- Your Highness.
121
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,958
- Your Highness, forgive this intrusion-
- Have you lost your job?
122
00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:29,316
No, madame.
Something of the utmost importance.
123
00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:31,517
- It concerns your jewels.
- My jewels?
124
00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:34,433
I remember one birthday of His Majesty,
our beloved Czar...
125
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:36,477
...I had the honor of being on guard.
126
00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:41,032
I still see you bending before His Majesty.
You wore your diadem and a necklace.
127
00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:45,276
- Why do you bring this up now?
- They are here. Your jewels, here in Paris.
128
00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:49,320
- AIexis, do you know what you're saying?
- This morning, three Soviet agents arrived.
129
00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:52,393
I overheard a telephone conversation
with Mercier, the jeweler.
130
00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:55,234
- They're going to sell them.
- Did I hear something about jewels?
131
00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:57,516
Rakonin has just given me
the most amazing news.
132
00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:00,394
You know Count d'AIgout.
I must call my lawyer at once.
133
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:03,991
- I'm sorry, Your Highness. I have to leave.
- Thank you. I'll get in touch with you.
134
00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:05,753
- Hello. Balzac, 2769.
- Au revoir.
135
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:07,240
Au revoir.
136
00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:09,670
This is Swana.
137
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:13,515
I want to speak to Monsieur Cornillon.
It's very important. Get him right away.
138
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:18,830
Hello, Monsieur Cornillon? The most incredible
thing has happened. My jewels are in Paris.
139
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:21,196
Three Bolshevik swine
are trying to sell them.
140
00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:23,112
Yes. Yes.
141
00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:26,830
Now, we must act immediately.
Call the police, have them arrested.
142
00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:28,917
Well, then get an injunction.
143
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:31,869
But do something, Monsieur Cornillon!
144
00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:33,439
But they are my jewels.
145
00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:35,352
There must be some way
of getting them back.
146
00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:39,309
- What does he say?
- But how can there be a question?
147
00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:41,949
Are you my lawyer or theirs?
148
00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:44,634
Oh.
149
00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:48,873
It's all right.
Yes, all right, I will call you later.
150
00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:51,031
- What did he say?
- They're pretty hopeless.
151
00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:52,793
There may be a chance, that's all.
152
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,395
The French government has recognized
Soviet Russia...
153
00:09:55,560 --> 00:09:58,120
...and he doubts they will risk a war
for my poor sake.
154
00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:01,950
He might be able to make up some kind
of a case, but it would cost money.
155
00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:05,198
Money, money, that's all they are
interested in, those lawyers.
156
00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:07,715
Darling, calm down, calm down.
Why do you need a lawyer?
157
00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:10,235
Haven't you your little Volga boatman?
158
00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:15,230
Very good, excellent, superb.
159
00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:18,233
It'd be foolish to belittle the quality
of the merchandise...
160
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:21,518
-...but your terms are impossible.
- My counteroffer is the maximum.
161
00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:22,790
But Monsieur Mercier--
162
00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:25,429
Gentlemen, I'm going to let you in
on a little secret.
163
00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:28,712
We are undertaking this deal
only because of the prestige involved.
164
00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:32,714
- And, frankly, we're expected to take a loss.
- Capitalistic methods.
165
00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:35,633
They accumulate millions
by taking loss after loss.
166
00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:41,232
This is Buljanoff, Iranoff, and Kopalski.
167
00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:44,119
Who? Count d'AIgout?
168
00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:46,556
No, that must be a mistake.
169
00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:48,791
No, we can't be disturbed.
170
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,674
No else one can meet
the figure named by my syndicate.
171
00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:54,559
- Not under the present economic conditions.
- We can wait.
172
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:57,553
Do we give the impression of people
who are pressed for money?
173
00:10:57,760 --> 00:10:58,795
174
00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:00,473
Let's put our cards on the table.
175
00:11:00,680 --> 00:11:03,149
Right now, there's a Russian commission
in New York...
176
00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:04,833
...trying to sell 15 Rembrandts.
177
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,276
There's another mortgaging
the oil fields in Baku.
178
00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:08,589
You need money quickly.
179
00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:13,038
My offer is a very fair one, and doesn't
even take advantage of your situation.
180
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:15,077
Just a minute.
181
00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:21,550
- Now, listen--
- Just a minute.
182
00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:27,474
- The pieces are all registered.
- I know. Thank you so much. Ha-ha-ha.
183
00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:31,592
- He is cutting our throat.
- What can we do? We have to accept.
184
00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:34,229
Comrades, comrades,
don't let's give in so quickly.
185
00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:37,119
After all, we have to uphold
the prestige of Russia.
186
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:39,874
All right, let's uphold it
for another 10 minutes.
187
00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:41,474
Yeah.
188
00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:50,032
- We don't want to be disturbed.
- My name is d'AIgout. I telephoned.
189
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:51,474
You must come in later.
190
00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:53,836
- I want a word with Mercier.
- You can't come in.
191
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:56,833
Monsieur Mercier, may I introduce myself?
I'm Leon d'AIgout.
192
00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,196
I think had the pleasure
of meeting you in your shop.
193
00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:02,552
I was admiring the platinum watch
with the diamond numbers.
194
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:05,075
- Yes, of course.
- You remember, I...
195
00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:07,598
Oh. Glorious, aren't they?
196
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:10,195
- You have no right.
- I did not permit you to come in.
197
00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:12,397
I hope you haven't closed this deal.
198
00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:15,757
- It might bring you into trouble.
- Who are you and what do you want?
199
00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:19,954
Those jewels are property of the Grand
Duchess Swana and were seized illegally.
200
00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:22,839
I am acting for Her Highness.
Here is my power of attorney.
201
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,355
You know, Monsieur Mercier,
this is all nonsense.
202
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:28,114
These may have been the jewels
of the Grand Duchess Swana...
203
00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:31,113
...but like all private property,
they were confiscated by the State.
204
00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:34,159
We'll leave the problem of ownership
to the French courts.
205
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:36,834
Meanwhile, I have filed a petition
for an injunction...
206
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,833
...to prohibit you from either selling
or removing the jewels.
207
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,877
Here is a copy.
208
00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:45,510
If there is anything which isn't clear,
I shall be glad to explain it.
209
00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:51,389
Thank you. Gentlemen, this introduces
a new element into our negotiations.
210
00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:54,279
- Until this claim is settled--
- We can call our ambassador.
211
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,590
I give you my word,
they were confiscated legally.
212
00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:57,909
That's right.
213
00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:00,196
Hold on,
please try to understand my position.
214
00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:02,510
I am not withdrawing. My offer stands.
215
00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:05,433
When you can produce a clear title
approved by the courts...
216
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:08,797
...we can close the deal.
Until then, gentlemen, good day.
217
00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:11,634
I thought it my duty to warn you.
I should have hated...
218
00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:13,791
-...to see you get into trouble.
- Thank you.
219
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,474
- I hope you forgive me.
- I consider myself very lucky.
220
00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:18,392
- Good day.
- Good day, monsieur.
221
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:23,073
- You believe me, I...
- Gentlemen, how about a little lunch?
222
00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:25,078
- Will you get out of here?
- Yes, get out.
223
00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:27,669
Well, don't look so gloomy.
You may have a chance.
224
00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:29,797
- We may have a chance?
- That's ridiculous.
225
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:31,234
Yes, a very slim one.
226
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:34,119
I want to be fair.
I don't deny that you might have a case.
227
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:37,318
We haven't anything to discuss with you.
We'll talk to a lawyer.
228
00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:39,630
You talk to a lawyer and I'll talk to a judge.
229
00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:41,996
That won't help you.
You can't intimidate us.
230
00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:44,629
Soviet Russia will put
all its might behind this case.
231
00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:47,798
Yes. You think because you represent
the former Grand Duchess--
232
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:50,076
- The Grand Duchess.
- The former Grand Duchess.
233
00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:52,754
At any rate, gentlemen,
a charming, exquisite woman.
234
00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:56,550
I warn you, if this case comes to trial,
it will be before a French court.
235
00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:58,791
And when the Grand Duchess
takes the stand-
236
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:01,918
Go ahead, get her on the witness stand.
What can she say?
237
00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:03,912
But how will she look?
238
00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:06,390
The fashions this spring
are very becoming to her.
239
00:14:06,560 --> 00:14:09,791
Gentlemen, the judge will be French,
the jury will be French...
240
00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:12,156
...everybody in the courtroom
will be French.
241
00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:15,631
Have you ever seen a French court when
a beautiful woman sits on the stand...
242
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,757
...and raises her skirt a little?
243
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:21,635
You sit down and pull up your pants
and where would it get you?
244
00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:25,152
I suppose you expect us
to hand over the jewels, huh?
245
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:28,153
Oh, no, I'm not a highwayman,
just a nuisance.
246
00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:30,994
All I want to do is make things
as difficult as possible.
247
00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:35,233
Not that we are giving in one inch,
but tell us what is in your mind?
248
00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:36,435
Yeah.
249
00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:38,756
- What about my proposition?
- What proposition?
250
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:41,070
I just said, "Let's have some lunch."
251
00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:10,519
- Hey, Sasha, Sergei, Misha.
- What? What do you want?
252
00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:11,715
What can we do for you?
253
00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:14,554
That telegram from Moscow,
why should you bother about it?
254
00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:17,360
- I've written it for you.
- Leon, Leonitchka.
255
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:21,229
- Why are you so good to us?
- Why are you so good to us?
256
00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:23,755
That's very nice, boys.
Now, wait a minute.
257
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:26,236
What was the name
of that Commissar on the Board of Trade?
258
00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:27,435
Razinin.
259
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:29,557
Commissar Razinin,
Board of Trade, Moscow.
260
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:32,394
- You wouldn't like Razinin.
- No, he's a bad man.
261
00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:35,279
- He sends people to Siberia.
- We don't like Razinin.
262
00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:36,919
- No.
- We don't like him.
263
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:38,878
We like Leon. Don't we like Leon?
264
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:40,553
Yes!
265
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:46,112
Wait a minute.
Now wait a minute, how's this?
266
00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:50,433
"Commissar Razinin, Board of Trade,
Moscow. Unexpected situation here.
267
00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:52,750
Grand Duchess Swana in Paris,
claims jewels...
268
00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:55,753
...and has already brought injunction
against sale or removal.
269
00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:58,116
After long and serious study...
270
00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:00,874
...we suggest, in the interest
of our beloved country...
271
00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:04,960
...a fifty-fifty settlement as best solution.
Iranoff, Buljanoff, and Kopalski."
272
00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:07,589
If we say that, Leon,
we'll be sent to Siberia.
273
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:10,513
- And if we have to go to Siberia-
- I will send you a muff.
274
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:13,957
Leon, why are you so good to us?
275
00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:18,710
Comrade waiter!
276
00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:24,317
Why are you so good to us?
277
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:27,637
Get the champagne to the other room.
278
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:29,791
That's enough. Go along.
279
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:33,396
- Take this to the telegraph office at once.
- Yes, monsieur.
280
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:52,233
Hello. Yes, Leon. What is it, Leon?
281
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:55,995
Oh, you can't hurry such things.
You must give Moscow a little time.
282
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:57,833
There's nothing we can do about it.
283
00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,354
Why don't you drop in later?
284
00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:01,079
Yes, au revoir.
285
00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:03,072
- Misha!
- What's the matter?
286
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,959
Telegram from Moscow.
It must have been here all day.
287
00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:07,838
"Halt negotiations immediately.
288
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:11,834
Envoy Extraordinary arrives Thursday
5:20 pm. with full power.
289
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:14,674
Your authority canceled herewith.
Razinin."
290
00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:16,831
- It is Thursday.
- It's 5:00 already.
291
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,310
I always said it would be Siberia.
292
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,718
Give me the desk, please.
293
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:27,349
This is the royal suite,
Iranoff speaking.
294
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:29,909
Listen, a special envoy
is coming from Moscow today.
295
00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:31,434
He'll occupy the royal suite.
296
00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:34,069
Move our things
to the smallest room you've got.
297
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:36,277
Yes. Right away, instantly.
298
00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:41,559
Pass, please.
299
00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:49,033
Now this is a fine thing.
Maybe we've missed him already.
300
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:52,636
How can we find somebody
without knowing what he looks like?
301
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:00,479
That must be the one.
302
00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:04,879
- Yes, he looks like a comrade.
- Yes.
303
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:16,280
- No, that's not him.
- Positively not.
304
00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:19,592
- What are we going to do now?
- I don't know.
305
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:25,353
We must have missed him.
306
00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:38,351
I'm looking
for Michael Simonovitch Iranoff.
307
00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:40,033
I am Michael Simonovitch Iranoff.
308
00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,595
I am Nina Ivanovna Yakushova,
Envoy Extraordinary...
309
00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:45,479
...acting under direct orders
of Comrade Commissar Razinin.
310
00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:47,199
Present me to your colleagues.
311
00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:48,680
- Comrade Buljanoff.
- Comrade.
312
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:50,638
- Comrade Kopalski.
- Comrade.
313
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:54,031
What a charming idea for Moscow
to surprise us with a lady comrade.
314
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:56,760
If we had known,
we would have greeted you with flowers.
315
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:58,951
Don't make an issue of my womanhood.
316
00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:02,795
We are here for work, all of us.
Let's not waste any time. Shall we go?
317
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:04,473
Porter, here, please.
318
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:06,515
What do you want?
319
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:08,677
- May I have your bags, madame?
- Why?
320
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,639
- He is a porter, he wants to carry them.
- Why?
321
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:15,270
- Why should you carry other people's bags?
- Well, that's my business, madame.
322
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:18,120
That's no business. That's social injustice.
323
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:19,469
That depends on the tip.
324
00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:22,678
- Allow me, comrade.
- No. No, thank you.
325
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:25,756
- Ticket, please.
- Tickets, please. Tickets.
326
00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:28,909
- How are things in Moscow?
- Very good.
327
00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:31,999
The last mass trials were a great success.
328
00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:35,710
There are going to be fewer
but better Russians.
329
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:44,355
What's that?
330
00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:46,955
It's a hat, comrade. A woman's hat.
331
00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:48,918
How can such a civilization survive...
332
00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:52,391
...which permits their women
to put things like that on their heads?
333
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:55,274
It won't be long now, comrades.
334
00:20:56,840 --> 00:21:00,754
This is the apartment we have reserved
for you, Comrade Yakushova.
335
00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:02,399
I hope you like it.
336
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:06,870
Which part of the room is mine?
337
00:21:09,120 --> 00:21:12,078
Heh. You see, comrade,
it's a little different here.
338
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:16,438
They don't rent rooms in pieces.
We had to take the whole suite.
339
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:32,635
- How much does this cost?
- Two thousand francs.
340
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:35,110
- A week?
- A day.
341
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:37,749
Do you know how much a cow costs,
Comrade Iranofl'?
342
00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:40,753
- A cow?
- Two thousand francs.
343
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:45,596
If I stay here a week,
I will cost the Russian people seven cows.
344
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:49,599
Who am I to cost the Russian people
seven cows?
345
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:51,797
We had to take it on account of the safe.
346
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:53,917
For ourselves, we are much happier now...
347
00:21:54,120 --> 00:21:57,750
...since we moved to a little room
right next to the servants' quarters.
348
00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:00,952
I'm ashamed to put a picture of Lenin
in a room like this.
349
00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:04,238
- Do you want to be alone, comrade?
- No.
350
00:22:06,360 --> 00:22:09,557
Comrades, your telegram was received
with great disfavor in Moscow.
351
00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:10,909
We did our best, comrade.
352
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:14,391
I hope so, for your sake.
Let's examine the case.
353
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,910
- What does the lawyer say?
- Which lawyer?
354
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:19,230
You didn't get legal advice?
355
00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:22,080
We dealt directly with the representative
of the Grand Duchess.
356
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:25,198
I am sure if you call him,
he will give you a very clear picture.
357
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:26,993
I will not repeat your mistake.
358
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:31,074
I will have no dealings with
the Grand Duchess nor her representative.
359
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:39,232
- Comrade Buljanoff?
- Yes, comrade?
360
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:42,119
Do you spell Buljanoff
with one or two F's?
361
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:46,194
With two F's, if you please.
362
00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:52,389
Have you some cigarettes?
363
00:22:56,680 --> 00:23:01,072
This is the royal suite.
Please send up some cigarettes. Yes.
364
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:04,350
You just telephone
and you get what you want.
365
00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:07,194
That's the capitalistic system. Ha-ha-ha.
366
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:10,233
Comrades, I am not in a position
to pass final judgment.
367
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:12,755
But at best you've been careless
in your duty to the State.
368
00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:17,039
You were entrusted with more
than a mere sale ofjewelry.
369
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:20,670
Why are we peddling our precious
possessions to the world at this time?
370
00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:24,151
Our next year's crop is in danger
and you know it.
371
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:27,358
Unless we can get foreign currency
to buy tractors...
372
00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:29,830
...there will not be enough bread
for our people.
373
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,799
- And you, comrades-
- We did it with the best intentions.
374
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:35,952
We can't feed the Russian people
on your intentions.
375
00:23:36,120 --> 00:23:39,238
Fifty percent to a so-called Grand Duchess.
376
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:41,596
Half of every loaf of bread to our enemy.
377
00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:43,753
- Comrade Kopalski.
- Yes, comrade.
378
00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:47,470
Go at once to our embassy and get me
the address of the best lawyer in Paris.
379
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:50,632
- Yes, comrade.
- You, Comrade Iranoff, go to the public library...
380
00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:53,394
...and get me the section
of the Civil Code on property.
381
00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:56,234
- Is there anything I can do, comrade?
- Yes.
382
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,869
You might get me
an accurate map of Paris.
383
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:02,038
I want to use my spare time
to inspect public utilities...
384
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:05,716
...and to make a study of all outstanding
technical achievements in the city.
385
00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:06,955
Yes, comrade.
386
00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:09,994
Come in.
387
00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:12,993
- Hello. Cigarettes?
- Hello.
388
00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:16,073
- Hello.
- Hello.
389
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:24,551
Comrades, you must
have been smoking a lot.
390
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:31,752
Desk. Yes, Monsieur Kopalski.
391
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:33,877
You are expecting Count d'AIgout? Uh-huh.
392
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:36,953
But he is not to go to the royal suite
under any circumstances.
393
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:41,040
He should go to your new room, 985.
Thank you, monsieur.
394
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:05,753
- You, please.
- Hm? Me?
395
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:07,957
Could you give me some information?
396
00:25:08,120 --> 00:25:11,909
- Gladly.
- How long must we wait here?
397
00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:15,232
Well, uh, until the policeman blows
his whistle again.
398
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:18,199
- At what intervals does he whistle?
- What?
399
00:25:18,360 --> 00:25:21,557
How many minutes between
the first and second whistle?
400
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:25,394
You know, that's very funny.
I never thought of that before.
401
00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:27,949
You've never been caught
in a similar situation?
402
00:25:28,120 --> 00:25:31,397
Yes, I have. Now that I come
to think about it, it's staggering.
403
00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:35,110
Good heavens, if I add it all up, I must
have spent years waiting for signals.
404
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:38,398
Imagine, an important part of my life
wasted between whistles.
405
00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:40,597
- In other words, you don't know?
- No.
406
00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:44,037
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
407
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:03,478
Can I be of any assistance to you?
408
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:05,711
- You might hold this for me.
- I'd love to.
409
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:07,598
Correct me if I am wrong.
410
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:11,913
- We are facing north, aren't we?
- Facing north?
411
00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:15,277
I'd hate to commit myself
without my compass.
412
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:19,399
- Pardon me, are you an explorer?
- No, I am looking for the Eiffel Tower.
413
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:21,949
Good heavens, is that thing lost again?
414
00:26:23,120 --> 00:26:24,838
Oh, are you interested in a view?
415
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,958
I'm interested in the Eiffel Tower
from a technical standpoint.
416
00:26:28,120 --> 00:26:29,235
Technical?
417
00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:32,080
No, I'm afraid I couldn't be of much help
from that angle.
418
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:35,471
A Parisian only goes to the tower
in moments of despair to jump off.
419
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:38,280
How long does it take a man to land?
420
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:43,274
Now isn't that too bad?
The last time I jumped, I forgot to time it.
421
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:46,876
Let me see now, the Eiffel Tower... Ah.
422
00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:48,673
Your finger, please.
423
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:53,710
- Why do you need my finger?
- It's bad manners to point with your own.
424
00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:56,996
There, the Eiffel Tower.
425
00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:58,309
And where are we?
426
00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:00,676
Where are we? Now, let me see.
Where are we?
427
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:02,114
Oh, here we are.
428
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:04,920
There you are and here am I.
429
00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:06,150
Feel“?
430
00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:09,915
I'm interested only in the shortest
distance between these two points.
431
00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:12,993
- Must you flirt?
- Well, I don't have to, but I find it natural.
432
00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:15,595
- Suppress it.
- I'll try.
433
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:16,989
For my own information...
434
00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:20,516
...would you call your approach toward me
typical of the local morale?
435
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:23,194
It is that approach
which has made Paris what it is.
436
00:27:23,360 --> 00:27:25,271
You're very sure of yourself, aren't you?
437
00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:28,034
Nothing's happened recently
to shake my self-confidence.
438
00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:31,352
I have heard of the arrogant male
in capitalistic society.
439
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:35,036
It is having a superior earning power
that makes you that way.
440
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:38,272
A Russian. I love Russians.
441
00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:42,877
Comrade, I've been fascinated
by your Five-Year Plan for the last 15 years.
442
00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:46,431
Your type will soon be extinct.
443
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:51,917
Taxi!
444
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:18,189
Can you tell me the exact width
of the foundation...
445
00:28:18,360 --> 00:28:22,194
-...on which these piers are resting?
- You don't have to worry. The thing is safe.
446
00:28:22,360 --> 00:28:25,239
- I am not afraid-
-"The foundation is 141 yards square."
447
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:27,869
- I hope you'll forgive me, but I thought-
- Go on.
448
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:31,351
Ahem. "Four massive pieces of masonry
are sunk to a depth of 46 feet...
449
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:34,234
...on the side of the Seine,
and 29.5 feet on the other side.
450
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:37,353
The girders of interlaced ironwork,
which stay the structure...
451
00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:39,318
...have an inclination of 54 degrees."
452
00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:41,596
- That's a strange angle.
- Yes, very strange.
453
00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:45,196
"Ascending to the first platform
is a staircase consisting of...
454
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:49,149
...829 steps.
455
00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:54,192
And an additional 254 steps
to the very top.
456
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:57,034
There's an elevator included
in the price of admission."
457
00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:00,118
It'll take you hours to walk up there.
458
00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:02,510
The elevator will get you up
in three minutes.
459
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:36,673
You gave me some very
valuable information. Thank you.
460
00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:41,870
Thank you for getting me up here.
I've never seen this before.
461
00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:44,793
- Beautiful, isn't it?
- Yes, it is.
462
00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:47,793
I'm glad I saw it before becoming extinct.
463
00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:52,033
Now don't misunderstand me.
I do not hold your frivolity against you.
464
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:54,794
As basic material, you may not be bad.
465
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:57,998
But you are the unfortunate product
of a doomed culture.
466
00:29:58,160 --> 00:29:59,878
I feel very sorry for you.
467
00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:03,396
Aw, but you must admit
that this doomed old civilization sparkles.
468
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:05,870
Look at it. It glitters.
469
00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:09,874
I do not deny its beauty,
but it's a waste of electricity.
470
00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:11,360
What a city.
471
00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:14,956
There are the grand boulevards
blasted out of the heart of the old city.
472
00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:17,800
The Arc de Triomphe,
built to greet Napoleon's army.
473
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:21,277
The Opera. Montparnasse. Montmartre.
474
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:26,752
And now, I'll show you
the greatest attraction of all.
475
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:29,309
It'll cost me a franc, but it's worth it.
476
00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:32,472
The most unique spot in all Paris.
Really, I'm not exaggerating.
477
00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:35,513
It's wonderful. It's charming. It's... Ah.
478
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:37,239
Please.
479
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:41,753
What do you see?
480
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:45,390
I see a house. Looks like any other house.
481
00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:48,359
- What's remarkable about it?
- Oh, it's not the structure.
482
00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:50,830
It's the spirit that dwells within it.
483
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:54,152
It has three rooms and a kitchenette
dedicated to hospitality.
484
00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:57,870
- So it's your house? Mm.
- Well, let's say I live in it.
485
00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:01,357
It's such a pleasant little place.
It has all the comforts.
486
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:03,955
Easy to reach,
near the subway, bus, and streetcar-
487
00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:07,511
- Does it mean you want me to go there?
- Now, please, don't misunderstand me.
488
00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:09,876
- Then you don't want me to go there?
- No, no, no.
489
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:12,509
I didn't say that either.
Nothing would please me more.
490
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:14,393
Then why don't we go?
491
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:17,956
You might be an interesting
subject of study.
492
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:20,240
PM do my best.
493
00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:29,713
- Good evening, Gaston.
- Good evening.
494
00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:32,156
- Is this what you call the "butler"?
- Yes.
495
00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:34,038
Good evening, comrade.
496
00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:37,312
This man is very old.
You shouldn't make him work.
497
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:40,711
- He takes good care of that.
- He looks sad. Do you whip him?
498
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:43,030
No, but the mere thought
makes my mouth water.
499
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:45,396
The day will come when you will be free.
500
00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:49,190
Go to bed, little father.
We want to be alone.
501
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:51,271
Please.
502
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:54,314
Count d'AIgout,
there have been several telephone calls.
503
00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:56,517
Go to bed, little father.
504
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:16,112
- Now, may I offer you a drink?
- Thank you, I'm not thirsty.
505
00:32:16,280 --> 00:32:17,429
Perhaps something to eat.
506
00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:20,114
I've had all the calories
necessary for today.
507
00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:21,554
Yes, all the calories.
508
00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:24,155
- What do we do now?
- Uh...
509
00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:27,838
- Shall we have some music?
- Is that customary?
510
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:30,196
Mm. It helps.
511
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:33,512
It has ever since King David
wooed Bathsheba with his harp.
512
00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:37,270
Not being so fortunate as to have
my harp at hand, I'll turn on the radio.
513
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:51,749
If there's anything you'd like to study,
please go ahead. I've nothing to conceal.
514
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:55,038
This is my desk, these are my books,
and here am I.
515
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:56,310
Where shall we begin?
516
00:32:56,480 --> 00:32:58,756
- I will start with you.
- Excellent.
517
00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:01,992
Now, let's see, I'm 35 years old,
just over 6 feet tall...
518
00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:04,549
...and weigh 182 pounds, stripped.
519
00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:08,270
- What is your profession?
- My profession?
520
00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:11,353
Mmm. Keeping my body fit,
keeping my mind alert...
521
00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:14,399
...and keeping the landlord appeased,
that's a full-time job.
522
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:18,235
- And what do you do for mankind?
- For mankind?
523
00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:22,280
Yes, uh, not so much for mankind.
524
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:25,751
But for womankind,
my record isn't quite so bleak.
525
00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:28,389
You are something
we do not have in Russia.
526
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:30,392
Thank you. Glad you told me.
527
00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:33,359
That's why I believe
in the future of my country.
528
00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:41,749
I'm beginning to believe in it myself
since I've met you.
529
00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:48,269
I still don't quite know what it's all about.
It confuses me, frightens me.
530
00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:51,470
But it fascinates me.
531
00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:54,038
Ninotchka...
532
00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:56,796
...do you like me just a little bit?
533
00:33:56,960 --> 00:34:00,794
Your general appearance is not distasteful.
534
00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:02,633
Thank you.
535
00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:05,394
The whites of your eyes are clear.
536
00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:07,796
Your cornea is excellent.
537
00:34:10,720 --> 00:34:13,360
Your cornea is terrific.
538
00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:17,635
Ninotchka, tell me.
You're so expert on things.
539
00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:22,431
- Can it be that I'm falling in love with you?
- Why must you bring in wrong values?
540
00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:26,434
Love is a romantic designation
for a most ordinary biological...
541
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:28,432
...or, shall we say, chemical process.
542
00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:31,114
A lot of nonsense is talked
and written about it.
543
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:32,839
Oh, I see.
544
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:34,354
What do you use instead?
545
00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:39,720
I acknowledge the existence
of a natural impulse common to all.
546
00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:42,838
What can I possibly do
to encourage such an impulse in you?
547
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:45,071
You don't have to do a thing.
548
00:34:45,240 --> 00:34:48,790
Chemically, we are already
quite sympathetic.
549
00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:51,874
You are the most incredible creature
I've ever met.
550
00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:53,838
Ninotchka- Ninotchka-
551
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:55,638
You repeat yourself.
552
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:58,314
Yes, I'd like to say it a thousand times.
553
00:34:58,720 --> 00:35:01,155
You must forgive me
if I seem a little old-fashioned.
554
00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:04,915
- After all, I'm just a poor bourgeois.
- It's never too late to change.
555
00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:07,430
I used to belong
to the petite bourgeoisie myself.
556
00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:08,635
557
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:11,553
My father and mother wanted me
to stay and work on the farm.
558
00:35:11,720 --> 00:35:14,951
- But I preferred the bayonet.
- The bayonet? Did you really?
559
00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:18,158
- I was wounded before Warsaw.
- Wounded, how?
560
00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:21,153
I was a sergeant
in the Third Cavalry Brigade.
561
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:22,958
Would you like to see my wound?
562
00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:26,912
I'd love to.
563
00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:36,959
- A Polish lancer. I was 16.
- Poor Ninotchka. Poor, poor Ninotchka.
564
00:35:37,120 --> 00:35:42,513
Don't pity me. Pity the Polish lancer.
After all, I'm still alive.
565
00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:46,754
- What kind of a girl are you, anyway?
- Just what you see.
566
00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:49,992
A tiny cog in the great wheel of evolution.
567
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,834
You're the most adorable cog
I've ever seen.
568
00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:55,270
Ninotchka, let me confess something.
569
00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:58,990
Never did I dream I could feel like this
toward a sergeant.
570
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:04,156
Did you hear that?
571
00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:08,833
- It's 12:00.
- It's midnight.
572
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:12,356
Look at the clock. One hand has met
the other hand. They kiss.
573
00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:13,755
Isn't that wonderful?
574
00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:16,673
That's the way a clock works.
What's wonderful about it?
575
00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:18,194
Ninotchka, it's midnight.
576
00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:21,074
One half of Paris
is making love to the other half.
577
00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:23,954
You merely feel you must put yourself
in a romantic mood...
578
00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:27,551
-...to add to your exhilaration.
- I can't possibly think of any better reason.
579
00:36:27,720 --> 00:36:31,076
- That's false sentimentality.
- Oh, you analyze everything out of existence.
580
00:36:31,240 --> 00:36:33,800
You'd analyze me out of existence,
but I won't let you.
581
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:38,836
Love isn't so simple, Ninotchka.
Ninotchka, why do doves bill and coo?
582
00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:41,799
Why do snails,
the coldest of all creatures...
583
00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:44,474
...circle interminably around each other?
584
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:47,240
Why do moths fly hundreds of miles
to find their mates?
585
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:50,233
Why do flowers slowly open their petals?
586
00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:55,679
Oh, Ninotchka, surely you feel some
slight symptom of the divine passion?
587
00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:59,196
A general warmth
in the palms of your hands.
588
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:02,233
A strange heaviness in your limbs.
589
00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:04,391
A burning of the lips that isn't thirst...
590
00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:08,599
...but something a thousand times
more tantalizing, more exalting than thirst.
591
00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:12,111
You are very talkative.
592
00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:23,119
Was that talkative?
593
00:37:23,280 --> 00:37:25,510
No. That was restful.
594
00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:27,635
Again.
595
00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:38,753
Thank you.
596
00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:41,673
Oh, my barbaric Ninotchka...
597
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:45,117
...my impossible, unromantic, statistical--
598
00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:54,910
Again.
599
00:37:57,240 --> 00:37:59,436
- The telephone is ringing.
- Let it ring.
600
00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:02,240
One of your friends may be in need of you.
You must answer.
601
00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:11,914
602
00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:14,549
Yes. What?
603
00:38:14,720 --> 00:38:20,318
Oh, yes. Well, I'm sorry. I couldn't make it.
No, I ran into an old friend from the Army.
604
00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:23,638
What? The whole deal is off?
Are you crazy, Buljanoff?
605
00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:26,829
Oh, oh. A special envoy arrived.
606
00:38:27,240 --> 00:38:30,551
Hm? I'll be glad to see her
whenever she wants to.
607
00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:33,510
She doesn't want to see me?
608
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:35,830
What do you know about that? Why?
609
00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:37,954
Uh-huh.
610
00:38:38,280 --> 00:38:41,272
Well, I'll get in touch with her myself.
What's her name?
611
00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:43,273
Huh? "Ya-ku--"?
612
00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:46,592
Good heavens, these Russian names.
How do you spell it?
613
00:38:47,360 --> 00:38:50,398
Oh, "Y."
614
00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:53,916
Y-A...
615
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:56,754
"Yakushova."
616
00:38:56,920 --> 00:38:58,797
Thanks.
617
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:08,074
Yakushova Ninotchka.
618
00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:09,793
Yes, all right, thank you.
619
00:39:20,120 --> 00:39:22,430
- Ninotchka.
- I must go.
620
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:25,433
Or should I say "Special Envoy Yakushova"?
621
00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:28,991
- Let's forget we ever met.
- No, no, no. I have a much better suggestion.
622
00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:32,790
Let's forget the telephone ever rang.
I never heard that you are Yakushova.
623
00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:36,112
You are Ninotchka, my Ninotchka.
624
00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:38,351
I was sent here by my country
to fight you.
625
00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:41,951
All right, fight me as much as you want.
Only fight me tomorrow morning.
626
00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:44,953
There's nothing sweeter
than sharing a secret with an enemy.
627
00:39:45,120 --> 00:39:47,680
You represent White Russia
and I represent Red Russia.
628
00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:50,116
Tonight let's not represent anybody
but ourselves.
629
00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:51,515
It is out of the question.
630
00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:53,830
- If you wish to approach me-
- You know I want to.
631
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:55,513
Then do it through my lawyer.
632
00:39:55,680 --> 00:39:57,717
But, Ninotchka,
you can't walk out like this.
633
00:39:57,880 --> 00:39:59,075
I am crazy about you.
634
00:39:59,240 --> 00:40:02,676
I thought I'd made an impression on you.
You liked the white of my eye.
635
00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:05,639
- I must go.
- Ninotchka.
636
00:40:05,840 --> 00:40:07,638
I held you in my arms.
637
00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:10,391
You kissed me.
638
00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:14,555
I kissed a Polish lancer too...
639
00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:17,149
...before he died.
640
00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:27,999
Yes, Marianne darling.
641
00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:30,754
No, you didn't waken me.
I'm not only up, I'm on my way out.
642
00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:33,196
Yes, I want to catch Leon
before he rushes out...
643
00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:35,431
...and loses himself in my business affairs.
644
00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:38,194
Oh, everything was going perfectly
until three days ago...
645
00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:40,749
...when some horrid female envoy
arrived from Moscow.
646
00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:42,274
We don't know where we are.
647
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:45,398
I'll telephone you tonight, darling.
Goodbye, dear.
648
00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:48,759
I seem to remember
some additional injunctive provision...
649
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:51,793
...dealing with the property of foreigners
residing in France.
650
00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:55,999
You are referring to Paragraph 598,
Section 25F of the Civil Code.
651
00:40:57,160 --> 00:41:00,152
Page 824.
652
00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:05,952
And do not fail to read the three footnotes.
While you are studying it, I will eat.
653
00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:23,710
- Where to, madame?
- Can you recommend a restaurant?
654
00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:25,791
There's Grenier if you care for seafood.
655
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:27,593
- Where do you eat?
- At Pére Mathieu.
656
00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:29,956
- Where is that?
- It's just a place for workmen.
657
00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:32,430
- Where is it?
- Down eight blocks, rue de Provelles.
658
00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:33,954
Thank you.
659
00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:51,953
Are you alone, madame?
A nice little corner table?
660
00:41:52,120 --> 00:41:54,111
Or perhaps by the window
would be better?
661
00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:55,719
This way, madame.
662
00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:04,556
I think this is the first time
you've been in my place.
663
00:42:04,720 --> 00:42:06,950
Your face is new to me.
664
00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:11,359
- Now what shall it be?
- Raw beets and carrots.
665
00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:13,670
Madame, this is a restaurant,
not a meadow.
666
00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:16,793
Here's what we are offering today.
Please make your choice.
667
00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:20,919
I'm sure you will find something
to tempt your appetite.
668
00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:34,956
Well, for goodness sake, hello.
669
00:42:35,120 --> 00:42:37,634
It certainly is a small world, isn't it?
670
00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:43,158
Well, madame, shall we start with soup?
Fish soup today.
671
00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:45,391
I got up at 5
to fish them from the Seine.
672
00:42:45,560 --> 00:42:47,995
- Ah, crawfish soup for me.
- Very well, monsieur.
673
00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:50,197
Then may I suggest
an omelet with mushrooms?
674
00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:52,715
Bring me something simple.
I never think about food.
675
00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:55,833
Madame, if you don't think about food,
what do you think about?
676
00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:59,880
- The future of the common people.
- That's also a question of food.
677
00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:04,113
I will bring you a nice little lunch,
a la Pére Mathieu.
678
00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:14,313
May I say something?
679
00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:16,869
You insulted him, do you know that?
You hurt his feelings.
680
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:19,873
It's just like telling a musician
that you don't like music.
681
00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:23,749
Why, that good old man believes in food
just as you believe in Karl Marx.
682
00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:27,515
You can't go around hurting people
like that, Comrade Yakushova.
683
00:43:28,760 --> 00:43:30,751
But you can make it up to him.
Do you know how?
684
00:43:30,960 --> 00:43:33,873
By eating everything
that he brings you with relish...
685
00:43:34,040 --> 00:43:35,758
...drinking everything with gusto...
686
00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:38,554
...by having a good time
for the first time in your life.
687
00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:41,149
- I don't like you following me.
- I didn't follow you.
688
00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:43,277
- How did you get here?
- I always eat here.
689
00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:44,999
This is a place for working men.
690
00:43:45,160 --> 00:43:48,596
But my dear child,
I am most at home among working men.
691
00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:51,912
I hate those places where you circulate,
the Clarence Hotel and those places.
692
00:43:52,080 --> 00:43:53,718
This is my natural element.
693
00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:56,110
After all, what are any of us?
Working men.
694
00:43:56,320 --> 00:43:58,550
At least, those of us
who are worth our salt.
695
00:43:58,720 --> 00:44:00,358
- Hiya!
696
00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:02,599
- Hiya!
697
00:44:02,760 --> 00:44:05,593
- Hiya.
- Hiya, boys. How's everything today?
698
00:44:05,760 --> 00:44:08,070
- Is the lunch all right?
- Fine.
699
00:44:08,240 --> 00:44:09,674
- Bring up a chair.
- I will.
700
00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:13,037
Great bunch of fellows. Aw, my friend,
I am happy to see you again.
701
00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:15,396
- I'm always glad to meet a new customer.
- Mm-hm.
702
00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:18,951
And I hope this first visit
will not be your last one.
703
00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:21,711
He's just an old man. His memory is weak.
704
00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:23,518
What are you after?
705
00:44:23,720 --> 00:44:25,950
Must one always be after something?
706
00:44:26,120 --> 00:44:29,750
Your tactics are useless.
I'm not Buljanoff, Iranoff, or Kopalski.
707
00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:31,991
Ninotchka, why must we talk business?
708
00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:34,879
If you win the suit, fine.
If we win the suit, better.
709
00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:36,792
You do me an injustice.
710
00:44:37,240 --> 00:44:39,959
Ninotchka, when we first went
to my apartment...
711
00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:43,476
...did I have the slightest idea
that you were connected with this deal?
712
00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:44,675
You know now.
713
00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:47,593
I know now that you're a man
who employs business methods...
714
00:44:47,760 --> 00:44:50,229
...which in Russia
would be punished by death.
715
00:44:50,720 --> 00:44:53,314
Death. Death, always so glum.
716
00:44:54,720 --> 00:44:58,190
What about life, Ninotchka?
Do Russians never think about life?
717
00:44:58,360 --> 00:45:02,593
Of the moment in which we are living?
The only moment we ever really have.
718
00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:06,714
Oh, Ninotchka. Don't take things so seriously.
Nothing's worth it, really.
719
00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:09,349
Please, relax.
720
00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:11,198
I beg you, sergeant.
721
00:45:11,360 --> 00:45:13,795
- Smile.
- What?
722
00:45:13,960 --> 00:45:16,873
- Will you smile?
- Why?
723
00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:19,350
- Well, just smile.
- At what?
724
00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:20,840
At anything.
725
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:25,631
At the whole ridiculous spectacle of life,
at people being so serious...
726
00:45:25,800 --> 00:45:29,430
...taking themselves pompously,
exaggerating their own importance.
727
00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:32,558
If you can't think of anything else
to laugh at, laugh at you and me.
728
00:45:32,720 --> 00:45:34,711
- Why?
- Because we're an odd couple.
729
00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:37,030
Then you should go back to your table.
730
00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:39,714
No. No, I can't leave you. I won't, not yet.
731
00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:41,957
Not until I've made you laugh
at least once.
732
00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:45,238
- Ha-ha. Now go back to your table.
- Oh.
733
00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:47,038
That's not a laugh.
734
00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:49,396
I mean a laugh from the heart.
735
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:52,353
I know.
I'm gonna tell you a funny story.
736
00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:54,392
Now, wait a minute, let me think of one.
737
00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:56,273
Uh, I've got it.
738
00:45:56,840 --> 00:45:59,753
It seems that there were two Frenchmen
who went to America-
739
00:45:59,920 --> 00:46:01,911
On which boat?
740
00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:05,440
Let's drop it.
741
00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:08,160
I don't think you'd care very much
for that one anyway.
742
00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:10,038
Probably not.
743
00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:12,634
Here's a great one.
744
00:46:18,600 --> 00:46:21,114
Maybe it's not so good. Let's forget it.
745
00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:24,836
- Do you like Scotch stories?
- Never heard one.
746
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:26,320
Well, here. Ahem.
747
00:46:26,480 --> 00:46:28,676
Two Scotchmen met on the street.
748
00:46:28,840 --> 00:46:30,956
And I don't know the name of the street.
749
00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:32,679
It doesn't matter anyway.
750
00:46:32,840 --> 00:46:35,958
One's name was McGillicuddy
and the other one's name was McIntosh.
751
00:46:36,120 --> 00:46:38,794
McGillicuddy said to McIntosh,
"Hello, Mr. McGillicuddy."
752
00:46:38,960 --> 00:46:41,270
And McGillicuddy-
McIntosh said to McGillicuddy:
753
00:46:41,480 --> 00:46:42,675
"Hello, Mr. McGillicuddy."
754
00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:45,559
Then McGillicuddy said to McIntosh,
"How is Mrs. McIntosh?"
755
00:46:45,720 --> 00:46:48,599
And McIntosh said to McGillicuddy,
"How is Mrs. McGillicuddy?"
756
00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:50,433
I wish they'd never met.
757
00:46:51,800 --> 00:46:53,473
So do I.
758
00:46:54,920 --> 00:46:56,513
How is this one?
759
00:46:57,040 --> 00:47:00,351
Two men are looking at the moon.
One of them says to the other:
760
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:02,989
“Is it true that a lot of people
live on the moon?“
761
00:47:03,160 --> 00:47:05,720
The other one says,
“Sure it's true, about 500 million."
762
00:47:05,920 --> 00:47:07,831
Then the first one says:
763
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:11,834
"Whew. They must be pretty crowded
when it's half-moon."
764
00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:16,554
Heh.
765
00:47:18,520 --> 00:47:21,512
- So you don't think that's funny?
- No.
766
00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:24,513
It seemed funny to me
when I first heard it.
767
00:47:24,680 --> 00:47:27,559
Maybe the trouble isn't with the joke.
Maybe it's with you.
768
00:47:27,720 --> 00:47:29,393
I don't think so.
769
00:47:29,960 --> 00:47:31,951
I'll give you one more chance.
770
00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:33,750
Here goes.
771
00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:36,389
When I first heard this joke,
I laughed myself sick.
772
00:47:38,880 --> 00:47:39,995
Here goes.
773
00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:42,117
A man comes into a restaurant.
774
00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:44,510
He sits down at the table
and he says, "Waiter...
775
00:47:44,680 --> 00:47:46,637
...bring me a cup of coffee
without cream."
776
00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:49,070
Five minutes later,
the waiter comes and says:
777
00:47:49,240 --> 00:47:51,675
“I'm sorry, sir. We have no cream.
Can it be without milk?"
778
00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:57,593
It's good, isn't it?
779
00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:03,432
- Not funny, huh?
- No.
780
00:48:03,600 --> 00:48:07,036
Well, it is funny.
Everybody else thought it was funny.
781
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:09,316
Maybe you didn't get the point.
782
00:48:09,640 --> 00:48:11,074
I'll tell it to you again.
783
00:48:11,280 --> 00:48:13,430
A man comes into a restaurant.
784
00:48:13,600 --> 00:48:14,749
- Did you get that?
- Yes.
785
00:48:14,920 --> 00:48:15,990
All right.
786
00:48:16,200 --> 00:48:19,431
He sits down at the table and he says
to the waiter-- Did you get that?
787
00:48:19,600 --> 00:48:21,750
- Yes.
- It isn't funny so far, but wait a minute.
788
00:48:21,960 --> 00:48:24,634
He says to the waiter,
"Waiter, bring me a cup of coffee.“
789
00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:26,996
Five minutes later,
the waiter comes and says:
790
00:48:27,160 --> 00:48:30,471
"I'm sorry, sir, we're all out of coffee."
Oh, no, you've got me all mixed up.
791
00:48:30,640 --> 00:48:33,917
Sits down at the table, says,
“Bring me a cup of coffee." That's it.
792
00:48:34,080 --> 00:48:36,356
He says,
“Bring me a cup of coffee without cream."
793
00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:38,875
Five minutes later,
the waiter comes back and says:
794
00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:42,237
“I'm sorry, sir. We have no cream.
Can it be a glass of milk?“
795
00:48:42,400 --> 00:48:44,118
Oh, you have no sense of humor!
796
00:48:45,440 --> 00:48:46,794
None whatsoever.
797
00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:49,600
Not a grain of humor in you.
There's not a laugh in you.
798
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:52,957
Everybody else laughs at it, but not you.
799
00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:04,794
What's so funny about this?
800
00:49:41,560 --> 00:49:45,076
In addition to the arguments above
enumerated for lifting this injunction...
801
00:49:45,240 --> 00:49:48,596
...we wish to cite the decision
of the High Court of Paris in the case...
802
00:49:48,760 --> 00:49:53,630
...of Princess Marishka against Montenegro
on the fifth day of August, 1897.
803
00:49:53,840 --> 00:49:56,832
Comparing the facts in that case
with our present set of facts...
804
00:49:57,000 --> 00:50:00,675
...we feel that the treaty between
the Republic of France and the USSR--
805
00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:09,193
I'm sorry, gentlemen.
806
00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:13,678
The other day I heard such a funny story,
heh-heh, it still makes me laugh.
807
00:50:13,840 --> 00:50:15,478
It's very funny.
808
00:50:16,400 --> 00:50:19,074
Yes, about this injunction.
809
00:50:19,280 --> 00:50:21,669
The hearing is set
for the 20th of this month.
810
00:50:21,840 --> 00:50:23,797
That's two weeks from Thursday.
811
00:50:23,960 --> 00:50:27,430
- We did our utmost to have it set ahead.
- I know, gentlemen.
812
00:50:27,600 --> 00:50:30,638
It's in the hands of the court.
We're helpless, aren't we?
813
00:50:30,800 --> 00:50:33,076
Yes, it is unfortunate.
814
00:50:33,240 --> 00:50:36,517
There's nothing we can do.
Why get excited?
815
00:50:36,720 --> 00:50:39,838
We'll leave these papers with you
for your further consideration.
816
00:50:43,840 --> 00:50:46,309
Well, that means
another two weeks in Paris.
817
00:50:46,520 --> 00:50:48,670
Too bad we have to waste all that time.
818
00:50:48,840 --> 00:50:52,720
I acted on your suggestion and got in touch
with the power and light authorities.
819
00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:55,759
Whenever you want to visit their plants,
they are open to you.
820
00:50:55,920 --> 00:50:58,560
Oh, yes, power and light. Thank you.
821
00:50:58,720 --> 00:51:01,314
There is something else
which I know will appeal to you.
822
00:51:01,480 --> 00:51:03,357
A visit to the Paris sewers.
823
00:51:03,520 --> 00:51:06,638
- They tell me it's extremely instructive.
- Oh?
824
00:51:06,800 --> 00:51:09,030
Why don't you get a haircut, Buljanoff?
825
00:51:09,200 --> 00:51:11,350
You all look so wintry, comrades.
826
00:51:11,520 --> 00:51:14,114
And why do we always keep
the windows closed?
827
00:51:19,600 --> 00:51:21,352
Isn't that amazing?
828
00:51:21,520 --> 00:51:25,912
At home, there is still snow and ice,
and here, look at the birds.
829
00:51:27,560 --> 00:51:30,359
I always felt a little hurt
when our swallows deserted us...
830
00:51:30,560 --> 00:51:33,029
...in the winter for capitalistic countries.
831
00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:38,078
Now I know why. We have the high ideal...
832
00:51:38,280 --> 00:51:40,874
...but they have the climate.
833
00:51:41,800 --> 00:51:43,552
Comrades, I don't think
I need you anymore.
834
00:51:43,720 --> 00:51:46,075
- Is there anything we can do for you?
- No, not a thing.
835
00:51:46,240 --> 00:51:47,913
Would you like to go out?
836
00:51:48,120 --> 00:51:50,634
- Yes, sure.
- Have you any money?
837
00:51:56,640 --> 00:51:59,234
- Here are 50 francs.
- Thank you.
838
00:51:59,400 --> 00:52:01,994
Bring me back 45.
839
00:52:03,160 --> 00:52:05,037
Yes, of course.
840
00:52:05,200 --> 00:52:07,919
- Yes, that's fine.
- Goodbye, comrade.
841
00:53:14,440 --> 00:53:17,796
- Have you the time, Gaston?
- It's 8:42, sir.
842
00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:19,752
I guess it must be 8:42.
843
00:53:19,960 --> 00:53:22,634
- You seem to be a bit nervous, sir.
- I am, Gaston.
844
00:53:22,840 --> 00:53:26,356
If you'll forgive me, sir,
ever since you met that Bolshevik lady...
845
00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:28,875
...I've noticed a distinct change in you, sir.
846
00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:31,031
- Have you, Gaston?
- Decidedly.
847
00:53:32,520 --> 00:53:34,989
Yesterday I was greatly amazed
when I came from the market...
848
00:53:35,160 --> 00:53:37,197
...and found you had made your bed, sir.
849
00:53:37,400 --> 00:53:41,314
Yes, I felt better for it all day long.
I felt as if I'd contributed something.
850
00:53:41,800 --> 00:53:43,916
May I add, sir,
it was with great amazement...
851
00:53:44,080 --> 00:53:47,835
...that I found a copy of Karl Marx's
Capital on your night table, sir.
852
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:52,233
That is a socialistic volume,
which I refuse to so much as dust, sir.
853
00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:55,518
I view with alarm the influence over you
of this Bolshevik lady.
854
00:53:55,680 --> 00:53:57,717
But I don't follow you, Gaston.
855
00:53:57,920 --> 00:54:01,356
Isn't it about time that you realized
the unfairness of your position?
856
00:54:01,520 --> 00:54:02,919
Your being my servant.
857
00:54:03,080 --> 00:54:05,310
Wouldn't you like to stand
on an equal footing with me?
858
00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:06,515
No, sir.
859
00:54:06,720 --> 00:54:08,472
Good heavens,
isn't there any revolt in you?
860
00:54:08,680 --> 00:54:11,911
When I order you around,
don't you feel like kicking me in the pants?
861
00:54:12,080 --> 00:54:14,913
- No, sir.
- Ah, you're a reactionary.
862
00:54:15,080 --> 00:54:17,833
You can't tell me
that you don't look forward to the day...
863
00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:20,355
...when you can come in here,
stand on your two feet...
864
00:54:20,520 --> 00:54:22,989
...and say, "From now on,
it's share and share alike."
865
00:54:23,160 --> 00:54:26,232
Emphatically not, sir.
The prospect terrifies me.
866
00:54:26,400 --> 00:54:28,118
Now, don't misunderstand me, sir.
867
00:54:28,320 --> 00:54:31,039
I don't resent your not paying me
for the past two months...
868
00:54:31,240 --> 00:54:34,278
...but the thought that I should split
my bank account with you...
869
00:54:34,440 --> 00:54:36,829
...that you should take
half of my life's savings...
870
00:54:37,040 --> 00:54:38,678
...that is really too much for me, sir.
871
00:54:40,800 --> 00:54:43,679
Go to bed, little father, go to bed.
872
00:55:03,160 --> 00:55:07,711
- I don't look too foolish?
- Foolish?
873
00:55:08,400 --> 00:55:11,916
If this dress were walking down
the boulevard all by itself...
874
00:55:12,120 --> 00:55:14,794
...I'd follow it from one end of Paris
to the other.
875
00:55:14,960 --> 00:55:17,076
And when I caught up with it, I'd say:
876
00:55:17,240 --> 00:55:19,993
"Wait a moment,
you charming little dress.
877
00:55:20,160 --> 00:55:24,154
I want you to meet Ninotchka.
You two were meant for each other."
878
00:55:43,840 --> 00:55:44,875
Remember this room?
879
00:55:46,800 --> 00:55:49,030
I've never been here before.
880
00:55:49,240 --> 00:55:51,675
I wonder whom you're thinking of?
881
00:55:52,240 --> 00:55:55,153
Oh, I know. The girl with the map...
882
00:55:55,320 --> 00:55:59,917
...always figuring out each step
and worrying about north and south. Heh.
883
00:56:00,520 --> 00:56:01,715
Today_"
884
00:56:01,920 --> 00:56:03,354
Now, this might shock you.
885
00:56:03,520 --> 00:56:07,036
I walked up to a taxi,
I said, "88 rue du Bois"...
886
00:56:07,200 --> 00:56:08,474
...and here I am.
887
00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:10,995
You see? Life can be so simple.
888
00:56:11,160 --> 00:56:14,755
- For 12 francs 75.
- Twelve seventy-five? From the Clarence?
889
00:56:14,920 --> 00:56:17,434
The son of a gun made a detour.
890
00:56:18,880 --> 00:56:20,837
But he got you here.
891
00:56:27,120 --> 00:56:29,157
It's 9:00.
892
00:56:29,360 --> 00:56:30,589
893
00:56:30,760 --> 00:56:33,479
That's when one half of Paris
says to the other half:
894
00:56:33,640 --> 00:56:36,314
"What are you plans
for this evening, madame?“
895
00:56:36,480 --> 00:56:39,393
First, I would like to take off my hat.
896
00:56:39,560 --> 00:56:44,430
- Then, could we have some music?
- A wonderful idea.
897
00:56:45,520 --> 00:56:47,670
- Radio or records?
- Not radio.
898
00:56:47,880 --> 00:56:49,871
Let's have music that's just for ourselves.
899
00:56:53,720 --> 00:56:55,438
I'll play it very softly...
900
00:56:55,640 --> 00:56:58,234
...because I have things to tell you
which I can't shout.
901
00:57:06,480 --> 00:57:08,551
Darling, I... Oh.
902
00:57:14,280 --> 00:57:16,556
You see, I couldn't shout that.
903
00:57:17,600 --> 00:57:18,874
Oh, Leon.
904
00:57:20,160 --> 00:57:24,438
Leon, you know the jokes
you told me a few days ago?
905
00:57:24,600 --> 00:57:28,150
I wake up in the middle of the night
and laugh at them.
906
00:57:28,320 --> 00:57:30,391
You know, that's wrong.
907
00:57:30,560 --> 00:57:35,236
They aren't funny.
They're silly, they're stupid.
908
00:57:35,400 --> 00:57:37,550
And still I laugh at them.
909
00:57:37,760 --> 00:57:41,435
And when I look at Buljanoff
and Iranoff and Kopalski...
910
00:57:41,640 --> 00:57:44,712
...I know they're scoundrels
and I should hate them.
911
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:48,913
Then I realize who made them like that.
912
00:57:49,080 --> 00:57:51,959
And instead of sending my report
to Moscow...
913
00:57:52,120 --> 00:57:54,555
...I go down and buy a ridiculous hat.
914
00:57:55,520 --> 00:57:57,272
And if this keeps on...
915
00:57:58,200 --> 00:58:00,271
- Am I too talkative?
- No, no, go on.
916
00:58:01,320 --> 00:58:06,269
And, Leon, I want to tell you something
which I thought I would never say...
917
00:58:07,320 --> 00:58:12,235
...which I thought nobody ever should say,
because I didn't think it exists.
918
00:58:16,040 --> 00:58:20,398
And, Leon, I can't say it.
919
00:58:56,080 --> 00:58:59,038
What a gesture for a sergeant.
920
00:59:00,480 --> 00:59:03,279
- Leon, may I ask you something?
- Anything.
921
00:59:03,440 --> 00:59:05,556
If you don't want to answer, you needn't.
922
00:59:05,720 --> 00:59:09,554
- But if you do, you must tell the truth.
- I promise.
923
00:59:09,720 --> 00:59:12,394
Did you make any change in this room?
924
00:59:13,560 --> 00:59:15,153
I don't think so.
925
00:59:15,760 --> 00:59:19,674
When I was here before,
I noticed a photograph of a woman...
926
00:59:19,840 --> 00:59:22,719
...on the desk in a wide silver frame.
927
00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:27,829
I thought, what a waste of silver.
That's all I was interested in then.
928
00:59:28,040 --> 00:59:32,716
Now, I would like to know.
What happened to the woman?
929
00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:56,473
The Grand Duchess?
930
00:59:58,120 --> 01:00:00,509
She's very attractive.
931
01:00:00,680 --> 01:00:03,274
She has great elegance.
932
01:00:04,160 --> 01:00:07,039
She's what you call a woman of the world,
isn't she?
933
01:00:07,200 --> 01:00:08,599
Ninotchka.
934
01:00:09,360 --> 01:00:10,759
I love you.
935
01:00:11,400 --> 01:00:13,994
I suppose she's very entertaining.
936
01:00:14,480 --> 01:00:17,836
It must be lots of fun to be
with a woman like that, so witty and-
937
01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:19,274
Ninotchka.
938
01:00:20,120 --> 01:00:22,396
You're jealous.
939
01:00:23,360 --> 01:00:24,998
Mm-hm.
940
01:00:25,640 --> 01:00:29,873
Leon, don't ever ask me
for a picture of myself.
941
01:00:30,040 --> 01:00:32,793
I couldn't bear the thought
of being shut up in a drawer.
942
01:00:32,960 --> 01:00:37,193
- I couldn't breathe. I couldn't stand it.
- Oh, my darling.
943
01:00:51,880 --> 01:00:53,598
Café de Lutéce.
944
01:00:53,760 --> 01:00:56,991
A table for tonight?
Certainly, Count d'AIgout.
945
01:00:57,160 --> 01:01:01,233
What time, may I ask?
After the opera, thank you very much.
946
01:01:05,200 --> 01:01:06,520
Good evening, Your Highness.
947
01:01:06,720 --> 01:01:08,711
Good evening.
You seem to be very crowded.
948
01:01:08,880 --> 01:01:12,032
- Can you manage a table near the floor?
- Certainly, this way, please.
949
01:01:12,200 --> 01:01:14,919
- Count d'AIgout made the reservation.
- Count d'AIgout?
950
01:01:15,080 --> 01:01:18,232
Yes. It is only a small table,
but we will put in some extra chairs.
951
01:01:18,440 --> 01:01:19,589
No, that's another party.
952
01:01:19,760 --> 01:01:21,910
Why don't we go to some other place?
It's so crowded.
953
01:01:22,080 --> 01:01:25,710
No. This is glory. At last I'm going
to have a look at that female Bolshevik.
954
01:01:25,880 --> 01:01:27,314
Can you manage another table?
955
01:01:27,480 --> 01:01:29,471
- Only one in the rear, I'm afraid.
- Perfect.
956
01:01:29,640 --> 01:01:31,790
Leon's bringing
the Bolshevik you told us about?
957
01:01:31,960 --> 01:01:34,679
- Isn't it divine?
- I wouldn't have missed this.
958
01:01:34,840 --> 01:01:36,956
We must be discreet.
If she sucks her soup...
959
01:01:37,120 --> 01:01:39,396
...or drinks out of her finger bowl,
don't laugh.
960
01:01:39,560 --> 01:01:41,358
We mustn't embarrass poor little Leon.
961
01:01:41,520 --> 01:01:44,273
He's gone through enough.
We mustn't add insult to injury.
962
01:01:44,440 --> 01:01:47,114
Is this satisfactory, Your Highness?
963
01:01:47,280 --> 01:01:49,590
- Is it to be dinner, Your Excellency?
- Later perhaps.
964
01:01:49,760 --> 01:01:52,195
- We'll just start with champagne.
- Deux champagne.
965
01:01:52,360 --> 01:01:56,831
I'm only afraid the doorman may spoil
all our fun. If only he lets her in.
966
01:01:57,000 --> 01:01:59,469
- Look, there's Leon.
- Where?
967
01:02:13,040 --> 01:02:15,554
- Good evening, Count d'AIgout. If you please.
- Good evening.
968
01:02:18,400 --> 01:02:20,391
General, shall we dance?
969
01:02:23,840 --> 01:02:25,194
- Is it dry?
- Yes, monsieur.
970
01:02:25,360 --> 01:02:29,149
- Is that right, or do you prefer it sweet?
- Oh, I wouldn't know.
971
01:02:29,320 --> 01:02:32,312
The closest I ever came to champagne
was in a newsreel.
972
01:02:32,480 --> 01:02:35,199
The wife of some president
was throwing it at a battleship.
973
01:02:35,360 --> 01:02:37,795
It's always good luck
to launch something with champagne.
974
01:02:37,960 --> 01:02:40,156
A battleship or an evening.
975
01:02:41,760 --> 01:02:45,355
It's funny to look back.
I was brought up on goat's milk.
976
01:02:45,520 --> 01:02:50,230
I had a ration of vodka in the army,
and now champagne.
977
01:02:50,400 --> 01:02:53,950
From goats to grapes.
That's drinking in the right direction.
978
01:03:13,040 --> 01:03:15,270
- It's good.
- Mm-hm.
979
01:03:25,600 --> 01:03:28,479
From what I've read,
I thought champagne was a strong drink.
980
01:03:28,640 --> 01:03:30,074
It's delicate.
981
01:03:30,440 --> 01:03:32,829
Does anyone ever get drunk on this?
982
01:03:33,000 --> 01:03:36,231
Mmm, well, there have been cases.
But the headache...
983
01:03:36,400 --> 01:03:40,030
...the next morning is worthwhile
if you drink it with the right toast.
984
01:03:41,720 --> 01:03:44,030
To us, Ninotchka.
985
01:03:50,760 --> 01:03:52,433
Thank you, general.
986
01:03:55,480 --> 01:03:58,393
Hello, Leon! How are you, my dear?
987
01:03:58,600 --> 01:04:00,716
- Hello, Swana. Good evening, general.
- How do you do?
988
01:04:00,880 --> 01:04:03,440
Why, you're looking magnificent tonight.
Isn't he, general?
989
01:04:03,600 --> 01:04:05,477
- Thank you. Yes.
- Is this your new dress suit?
990
01:04:05,640 --> 01:04:08,154
Didn't I tell you Benson and Benson
were the tailors for you?
991
01:04:08,360 --> 01:04:09,919
- Yes, you did.
- It's a dream of beauty.
992
01:04:10,080 --> 01:04:11,434
He never takes my word.
993
01:04:11,600 --> 01:04:13,193
- But I was right, wasn't I?
- Yes.
994
01:04:13,360 --> 01:04:15,636
- Am I interrupting?
- No, no, not at all.
995
01:04:15,800 --> 01:04:18,030
Your Highness,
may I present Comrade Yakushova?
996
01:04:18,200 --> 01:04:19,315
How do you do?
997
01:04:19,480 --> 01:04:21,153
- General Saviizky.
- How do you do?
998
01:04:21,320 --> 01:04:22,754
Oh, I've some wonderful news.
999
01:04:22,960 --> 01:04:25,839
- It's about Punchy. Mind if I sit down?
- No, please.
1000
01:04:26,000 --> 01:04:28,116
Would you mind making my excuses
at our table?
1001
01:04:28,280 --> 01:04:30,999
- Certainly.
- Will you say I'll be back soon?
1002
01:04:31,840 --> 01:04:35,151
We can be proud of our Punchy.
He had a triumph at the dog show.
1003
01:04:35,320 --> 01:04:38,199
He won another blue ribbon
and bit the judge. Ha-ha-ha.
1004
01:04:38,360 --> 01:04:40,670
I bought him the loveliest little sweater
as a reward.
1005
01:04:40,840 --> 01:04:44,276
You should see him strutting in it.
He looks like a little boulevardier.
1006
01:04:44,480 --> 01:04:46,756
You see, Count d'AIgout gave me
Punchy for my birthday.
1007
01:04:46,920 --> 01:04:50,276
You must've searched for weeks
before you found Punchy...
1008
01:04:50,440 --> 01:04:52,351
-...didn't you, Leon?
- Months, Swana.
1009
01:04:52,520 --> 01:04:55,160
Poor Madame Yakushova.
Here we are talking in mysteries.
1010
01:04:55,320 --> 01:04:56,993
I'm sure you wonder what it's about.
1011
01:04:57,200 --> 01:05:01,353
Not at all. I understand perfectly.
Count d'Algout gave you a dog.
1012
01:05:01,520 --> 01:05:06,993
- You made it very clear, madame.
- Oh, dear me. I must be losing my finesse.
1013
01:05:07,160 --> 01:05:10,118
If I'm not careful,
I'll be understood by everybody.
1014
01:05:10,280 --> 01:05:13,079
- Charming crowd here tonight, isn't it?
- I'm going, Leon.
1015
01:05:13,240 --> 01:05:17,029
But before I go, I must compliment you
on your gown, Madame Yakushova.
1016
01:05:17,200 --> 01:05:19,430
Is that what they're wearing
in Moscow this year?
1017
01:05:19,640 --> 01:05:21,438
No, last year, madame.
1018
01:05:21,640 --> 01:05:25,190
Isn't it amazing? One gets
the wrong impression of the new Russia.
1019
01:05:25,360 --> 01:05:29,149
It must be charming. I'm delighted
conditions have improved so.
1020
01:05:29,360 --> 01:05:32,318
I assume this is what the factory workers
wear at their dances?
1021
01:05:32,480 --> 01:05:36,269
Exactly. You see, it would have been
very embarrassing for people of my sort...
1022
01:05:36,440 --> 01:05:39,159
...to wear low-cut gowns in the old Russia.
1023
01:05:39,320 --> 01:05:42,756
The lashes of the Cossacks
across our backs were not very becoming.
1024
01:05:42,920 --> 01:05:47,039
- And you know how vain women are.
- Yes, you're quite right about the Cossacks.
1025
01:05:47,200 --> 01:05:49,840
We made a great mistake
when we let them use their whips.
1026
01:05:50,000 --> 01:05:51,320
They had such reliable guns.
1027
01:05:51,480 --> 01:05:54,393
Will you do me a favor?
Let's not talk about the good old days.
1028
01:05:54,560 --> 01:05:57,916
It's a very wise suggestion, Leon.
I'm afraid madame and I will never agree.
1029
01:05:58,080 --> 01:06:00,390
The only thing we have
in common is our lawsuit...
1030
01:06:00,600 --> 01:06:02,591
...and that will be settled next week.
1031
01:06:02,760 --> 01:06:06,594
I understand everything
will be over by Thursday.
1032
01:06:06,760 --> 01:06:10,469
- Am I right?
- Yes. You're right, madame.
1033
01:06:11,120 --> 01:06:13,919
It'll all be over by Thursday.
1034
01:06:14,080 --> 01:06:16,515
It's too bad you have
so few more days here in Paris.
1035
01:06:16,680 --> 01:06:18,353
Be sure and redouble your efforts...
1036
01:06:18,520 --> 01:06:21,399
...so madame can take some pleasant
memories when she returns to Moscow.
1037
01:06:21,560 --> 01:06:23,119
Good night.
1038
01:06:23,280 --> 01:06:25,271
- Good night, Leon.
- Good night, Swana.
1039
01:06:29,080 --> 01:06:31,833
Now I think I need a glass of champagne.
1040
01:06:52,000 --> 01:06:54,469
Quickly, please tell me
one of your funny stories.
1041
01:06:54,640 --> 01:06:55,960
- A funny story?
- Mm-hm.
1042
01:06:56,120 --> 01:07:00,079
You never finished the one about the, uh,
two Scotchmen with the names.
1043
01:07:01,120 --> 01:07:02,440
Oh.
1044
01:07:02,600 --> 01:07:03,954
Please.
1045
01:07:06,000 --> 01:07:09,038
- Well, there were two Scotchmen.
- Mm-hm.
1046
01:07:09,200 --> 01:07:11,999
One's name was McIntosh
and the other one was McGillicuddy.
1047
01:07:12,160 --> 01:07:14,720
- Mm-hm.
- They met on the street.
1048
01:07:14,920 --> 01:07:16,319
Mm-hm?
1049
01:07:16,480 --> 01:07:20,758
No, I'll tell you another story.
A much better one.
1050
01:07:21,760 --> 01:07:24,559
The only thing over on Thursday
will be the lawsuit.
1051
01:07:26,720 --> 01:07:30,350
There will be no Thursday for us.
Next week or any other week.
1052
01:07:30,560 --> 01:07:34,030
I won't let it happen.
I'll tear it out of the calendar.
1053
01:07:35,680 --> 01:07:37,637
Isn't that a good story?
1054
01:07:38,880 --> 01:07:42,032
Wonderful, if one could believe it.
1055
01:07:43,400 --> 01:07:45,073
You must, darling.
1056
01:07:50,080 --> 01:07:53,994
To the loveliest story I ever heard.
1057
01:08:05,600 --> 01:08:07,238
Let's dance.
1058
01:08:20,680 --> 01:08:23,354
Leon, something is the matter.
1059
01:08:23,520 --> 01:08:27,195
You just made that trip
from goats to grapes a little too quickly.
1060
01:08:27,360 --> 01:08:31,638
Everything is so wonderful.
It's getting farther and farther away.
1061
01:08:31,800 --> 01:08:33,598
- What, darling?
- Thursday.
1062
01:08:33,760 --> 01:08:37,116
Yes, don't worry,
everything's going to be all right.
1063
01:08:40,280 --> 01:08:42,237
Comrades! Comrades!
1064
01:08:42,400 --> 01:08:44,073
Darling, darling, please.
1065
01:08:44,240 --> 01:08:46,311
- I wanna talk to my brothers.
- Shh. Shh.
1066
01:08:46,480 --> 01:08:50,235
Don't shush me, please. I am the people.
I want to hold a speech.
1067
01:08:50,400 --> 01:08:53,358
- I want to overthrow the Grand Duchess.
- You can't do that.
1068
01:08:53,560 --> 01:08:56,678
Oh, comrades. The good people of France.
1069
01:08:56,840 --> 01:09:00,470
- Now, now, Ninotchka.
- But they're all grand duchesses here.
1070
01:09:00,640 --> 01:09:03,951
I ordered out thousands of
grand duchesses and I want to tell them.
1071
01:09:04,160 --> 01:09:07,710
Yes, dear, you're quite right.
But first, you're going through that door.
1072
01:09:07,880 --> 01:09:10,599
You're going to lie down
and take some spirits of ammonia.
1073
01:09:10,760 --> 01:09:13,229
- Oh, no speech? Oh.
- No speech.
1074
01:09:13,400 --> 01:09:15,232
I love you, my little Leonitchka.
1075
01:09:15,400 --> 01:09:18,153
And I adore you, Ninotchka.
Go ahead, now.
1076
01:09:21,400 --> 01:09:25,189
- No speech?
- No. For heaven's sake, no speech.
1077
01:09:30,840 --> 01:09:33,150
- Give me a double brandy.
- Yes, sir.
1078
01:09:52,040 --> 01:09:55,715
I'm sorry, count, it is most embarrassing,
but the lady you brought with you...
1079
01:09:55,920 --> 01:09:58,958
...is spreading communistic propaganda
in the powder room.
1080
01:09:59,120 --> 01:10:00,758
What? Give me another double brandy.
1081
01:10:00,960 --> 01:10:04,237
That kind of propaganda is bad anywhere,
but inciting the attendants...
1082
01:10:04,400 --> 01:10:06,198
...of the powder room to go on strike?
1083
01:10:06,360 --> 01:10:08,795
Well, if she succeeds,
the consequences will be disastrous.
1084
01:10:08,960 --> 01:10:10,109
What can I do about it?
1085
01:10:10,280 --> 01:10:13,272
She has been asked to leave
the powder room, but without success.
1086
01:10:13,440 --> 01:10:17,115
We would appreciate it very much
if you would see to it yourself.
1087
01:10:17,280 --> 01:10:21,239
- You want me to go in there?
- I'm sorry, sir, but I must insist.
1088
01:10:49,960 --> 01:10:52,429
- Make it a triple brandy.
- Yes, sir.
1089
01:10:58,280 --> 01:11:01,750
All right,
tell the Grand Duchess. Tell everybody.
1090
01:11:01,920 --> 01:11:05,515
They know it anyway. It doesn't make
any difference. Go on, get out, get out.
1091
01:11:05,880 --> 01:11:10,078
- Don't tell them where we're going.
- No, darling, nobody will find us.
1092
01:11:10,280 --> 01:11:13,875
- Are we going to build our little house?
- Yes, a little white house.
1093
01:11:14,080 --> 01:11:17,471
- No, not white.
- All right, we'll make it red.
1094
01:11:17,640 --> 01:11:22,476
No, let's not have any color.
No color. Just a "house" house. Heh.
1095
01:11:22,640 --> 01:11:25,393
- Let's form our own party.
- Right.
1096
01:11:25,560 --> 01:11:27,471
Lovers of the world, unite.
1097
01:11:27,640 --> 01:11:30,678
- And we won't stretch up our arms.
- No, no, no.
1098
01:11:30,840 --> 01:11:32,956
- And we won't clench our fists.
- No.
1099
01:11:33,120 --> 01:11:36,272
- Our salute will be a kiss.
- Yes.
1100
01:11:36,920 --> 01:11:39,150
A kiss. Salute.
1101
01:11:43,360 --> 01:11:47,319
I am so happy. Oh, I am so happy.
1102
01:11:48,120 --> 01:11:51,238
No one can be so happy
without being punished.
1103
01:11:51,400 --> 01:11:54,438
I will be punished,
and I should be punished.
1104
01:11:55,360 --> 01:11:59,149
- Leon, I want to confess.
- I know. It's the Russian soul.
1105
01:11:59,320 --> 01:12:01,231
Well, everyone wants to confess.
1106
01:12:01,400 --> 01:12:04,677
And if they don't confess,
they make them confess.
1107
01:12:05,240 --> 01:12:06,913
I am a traitor.
1108
01:12:07,360 --> 01:12:10,432
When I kissed you,
I betrayed a Russian ideal.
1109
01:12:11,360 --> 01:12:13,795
I should be stood up against the wall.
1110
01:12:13,960 --> 01:12:17,078
- Would that make you any happier?
- Much happier.
1111
01:12:18,400 --> 01:12:19,629
All right.
1112
01:12:57,040 --> 01:13:01,034
I've paid the penalty.
Now, let's have some music.
1113
01:13:01,200 --> 01:13:04,909
- Yes, let's turn on the radio.
- Radio? What's radio?
1114
01:13:05,080 --> 01:13:07,959
Radio's a little box that you buy
on the installment plan...
1115
01:13:08,120 --> 01:13:11,158
...and before you tune it in,
they tell you there's a new model out.
1116
01:13:11,360 --> 01:13:16,992
Oh, yes, I know where that is.
There's one around here somewhere.
1117
01:13:17,200 --> 01:13:20,238
It has a little knob that you turn.
1118
01:13:20,400 --> 01:13:23,597
- A little knob, that's right.
- Yeah. Maybe it's in here.
1119
01:13:23,760 --> 01:13:26,513
- Just a little knob.
- It's a radio and has a knob.
1120
01:13:26,680 --> 01:13:30,833
Now, maybe it's in here.
Let's see. There it is.
1121
01:13:31,160 --> 01:13:33,879
- There's the knob.
- There's the knob.
1122
01:13:34,040 --> 01:13:36,077
Now, what shall we get, the news?
1123
01:13:36,240 --> 01:13:39,949
No news. We don't want to know
what's happening in the world.
1124
01:13:40,120 --> 01:13:42,316
We want to be left alone, don't we?
1125
01:13:42,520 --> 01:13:45,034
Yes, darling, all by ourselves.
1126
01:13:45,200 --> 01:13:50,673
Then turn to the left and stop at seven.
1127
01:13:50,840 --> 01:13:54,435
Turn to the left and stop at seven.
1128
01:13:58,880 --> 01:14:01,952
- No music.
- No. No music.
1129
01:14:03,080 --> 01:14:05,833
There it is, Thursday.
1130
01:14:06,040 --> 01:14:07,792
You can't rip it out of the week.
1131
01:14:11,800 --> 01:14:13,473
There they are.
1132
01:14:13,640 --> 01:14:18,350
- They're terrible things, those jewels.
- Ooh. But big.
1133
01:14:18,520 --> 01:14:21,751
They are the tears of Old Russia.
1134
01:14:21,920 --> 01:14:25,151
- See that stone?
- Who cried that one?
1135
01:14:25,320 --> 01:14:28,950
Czar Peter gave it to his wife,
Catherine the Great.
1136
01:14:29,120 --> 01:14:32,238
For it, he sold 10,000 serfs in the market.
1137
01:14:32,440 --> 01:14:36,354
Oh, but, darling, don't get impatient.
Wait till we're married.
1138
01:14:36,520 --> 01:14:40,559
You know that worthless butler of mine,
that reactionary?
1139
01:14:40,720 --> 01:14:42,916
Someday I'll come home to you and I'll say:
1140
01:14:43,120 --> 01:14:46,750
"Darling, I drove Gaston
to the market this morning...
1141
01:14:46,960 --> 01:14:50,794
...and, ooh, look what I got for him."
1142
01:14:51,000 --> 01:14:53,276
Darling, come here. Let me put this on you.
1143
01:14:53,440 --> 01:14:57,115
- No, no, no.
- Yes, you will teach these jewels.
1144
01:14:57,280 --> 01:15:00,636
For the first time,
they will learn how they can really look.
1145
01:15:00,800 --> 01:15:05,112
- They belong to the people.
- And I give them back to the people.
1146
01:15:05,760 --> 01:15:08,718
I make you Ninotchka the Great...
1147
01:15:09,480 --> 01:15:11,437
...Duchess of the People...
1148
01:15:12,600 --> 01:15:14,796
...Grand Duchess of the People.
1149
01:15:14,960 --> 01:15:19,352
- Is this the wish of the masses?
- It is their wish.
1150
01:15:19,520 --> 01:15:23,195
Thank you, Leon. Thank you, masses.
1151
01:15:24,200 --> 01:15:27,636
- Can I make a speech now?
- Please.
1152
01:15:27,800 --> 01:15:31,350
Comrades, people of the world.
1153
01:15:31,520 --> 01:15:35,479
The revolution is on the march. I know.
1154
01:15:35,640 --> 01:15:39,270
Bombs will fall, civilization will crumble...
1155
01:15:39,840 --> 01:15:42,673
...but not yet, please.
1156
01:15:42,840 --> 01:15:45,354
Wait. What's the hurry?
1157
01:15:45,560 --> 01:15:49,155
Give us our moment. Let's be happy.
1158
01:15:50,600 --> 01:15:53,592
- We're happy, aren't we, Leon?
- Yes, darling.
1159
01:15:54,520 --> 01:15:59,071
So happy and so tired.
1160
01:15:59,280 --> 01:16:00,793
Oh...
1161
01:17:00,600 --> 01:17:04,389
Smile, little father. Smile.
1162
01:17:26,920 --> 01:17:28,319
Come in.
1163
01:17:41,320 --> 01:17:44,517
- Good morning.
- What?
1164
01:17:44,720 --> 01:17:49,271
It's tomorrow morning. Tomorrow noon,
to be exact. I hope you'll forgive me.
1165
01:17:49,440 --> 01:17:53,195
I know it's extremely cruel
to awaken anyone at such an hour.
1166
01:17:54,280 --> 01:17:58,069
Don't you recognize me?
I'm the Grand Duchess Swana.
1167
01:17:59,840 --> 01:18:03,720
I know exactly how you feel, my dear.
The morning after always does look grim...
1168
01:18:03,880 --> 01:18:06,235
...if you happen to be wearing
last night's dress.
1169
01:18:06,400 --> 01:18:08,232
Don't be embarrassed by my presence.
1170
01:18:08,400 --> 01:18:10,994
You couldn't have found anyone
more sympathetic.
1171
01:18:11,200 --> 01:18:13,555
I think we can cut your visit short.
1172
01:18:13,720 --> 01:18:16,997
- Leon is not here.
- Of course not, my dear.
1173
01:18:17,160 --> 01:18:19,879
I didn't come here
with any such suspicion. How ridiculous.
1174
01:18:20,040 --> 01:18:21,633
Nor did I come to pick up his hat.
1175
01:18:23,200 --> 01:18:25,635
What is it you people always say,
regardless of what you mean?
1176
01:18:25,840 --> 01:18:27,433
"I'm delighted to have you here."
1177
01:18:27,600 --> 01:18:31,480
I haven't reached that state of civilization,
therefore I must ask you to leave.
1178
01:18:31,680 --> 01:18:35,594
Leave? That's exactly what I came here
to ask you to do. Leave.
1179
01:18:35,760 --> 01:18:39,390
I don't mean this hotel,
and I don't mean Paris. I mean France.
1180
01:18:39,560 --> 01:18:41,995
There's a plane for Moscow at 5:40.
1181
01:18:42,160 --> 01:18:44,674
Do you still think you're issuing orders
from your palace?
1182
01:18:44,840 --> 01:18:46,990
My palace in Petrograd.
1183
01:18:47,600 --> 01:18:49,989
Yes, you took that away from me.
1184
01:18:50,200 --> 01:18:53,875
You took away my czar,
my country, my people.
1185
01:18:54,080 --> 01:18:57,789
Everything I had. But nothing more.
1186
01:18:58,000 --> 01:19:00,355
People cannot be taken away, madame...
1187
01:19:00,520 --> 01:19:07,039
...neither 160 million, nor one.
Not if you have their love. You hadn't.
1188
01:19:07,200 --> 01:19:09,510
That's why you're not in Russia
any longer...
1189
01:19:09,720 --> 01:19:12,234
...and that's why you came here
this morning.
1190
01:19:12,400 --> 01:19:14,994
Problems were never solved
by bowing from a balcony.
1191
01:19:15,160 --> 01:19:17,879
Oh, my dear, you don't know
how impressive I could be.
1192
01:19:18,040 --> 01:19:23,479
Did you ever see me in my regalia
with my diadem and all my jewels?
1193
01:19:39,400 --> 01:19:41,391
Elysée 2763.
1194
01:19:42,920 --> 01:19:44,558
Believe me, Leon can't help you.
1195
01:19:44,720 --> 01:19:46,870
He doesn't know anything
about the jewels.
1196
01:19:47,040 --> 01:19:49,270
I give you my word. I swear it.
1197
01:19:50,280 --> 01:19:51,395
Where are they?
1198
01:19:51,560 --> 01:19:54,234
You were very careless
with our precious jewels, my dear.
1199
01:19:54,400 --> 01:19:57,074
They're too expensive a toy
for two children to play with.
1200
01:19:57,240 --> 01:19:58,310
Where are they?
1201
01:19:58,520 --> 01:20:01,512
Last night a very trustworthy friend
kept his eyes open.
1202
01:20:01,680 --> 01:20:04,035
He may have overstepped
his function as a waiter...
1203
01:20:04,200 --> 01:20:06,669
...but he fulfilled his duty as a Russian.
1204
01:20:07,160 --> 01:20:11,597
I just put this on for sentiment.
The rest are absolutely safe, I assure you.
1205
01:20:11,760 --> 01:20:15,071
- But if you feel like notifying the police-
- You leave me no choice.
1206
01:20:15,240 --> 01:20:17,629
Won't it be rather embarrassing
for a Soviet envoy...
1207
01:20:17,800 --> 01:20:20,155
...to disclose the circumstances
under which she lost them?
1208
01:20:20,320 --> 01:20:22,755
I'll have to face the consequences,
but so will you.
1209
01:20:22,960 --> 01:20:24,837
They'll ask you how you got them.
1210
01:20:25,000 --> 01:20:28,595
That's very simple to answer.
They were given to me by my mother.
1211
01:20:28,800 --> 01:20:30,552
They were given to her by her mother.
1212
01:20:30,760 --> 01:20:33,559
In fact, they're mine.
You can't steal what belongs to you.
1213
01:20:33,760 --> 01:20:35,717
They always belonged
to the Russian people.
1214
01:20:35,880 --> 01:20:38,952
They paid for them with their blood, their lives,
and you'll give them back.
1215
01:20:39,120 --> 01:20:42,636
I told you we had plenty to talk about.
Shall we sit down?
1216
01:20:42,800 --> 01:20:45,030
Let's free ourselves from emotionalism...
1217
01:20:45,200 --> 01:20:47,589
...and try to solve the problem
in a practical way.
1218
01:20:47,760 --> 01:20:50,070
Our situation has considerably changed.
1219
01:20:50,280 --> 01:20:53,671
Before I had only a claim to the jewels.
Now I have the jewels.
1220
01:20:53,840 --> 01:20:56,832
In other words,
moral ideas have no weight with you.
1221
01:20:57,000 --> 01:20:59,594
All right, let's deal with legal facts.
You know that...
1222
01:20:59,760 --> 01:21:02,195
-...France has recognized the Soviet.
- Unfortunately.
1223
01:21:02,360 --> 01:21:04,749
Under the Soviet law,
the jewels belong to the State.
1224
01:21:04,960 --> 01:21:08,430
- France is going to uphold that ownership.
- Yes, my lawyer agrees with you.
1225
01:21:08,600 --> 01:21:11,114
He says that France will uphold it
in every court...
1226
01:21:11,280 --> 01:21:14,875
...but I will drag you through every court,
don't forget that.
1227
01:21:15,040 --> 01:21:17,316
And when I say it will take two years...
1228
01:21:17,480 --> 01:21:20,313
...I am, as always, conservative.
1229
01:21:20,520 --> 01:21:22,636
Won't those two years in court
be expensive?
1230
01:21:22,800 --> 01:21:24,120
I know money was no object...
1231
01:21:24,280 --> 01:21:27,671
...as long as you could squeeze it out
of the pockets of the people. But now?
1232
01:21:27,840 --> 01:21:30,354
I may run out of money,
but you have run out of bread.
1233
01:21:30,520 --> 01:21:33,399
Two years is a long time
for your comrades to wait.
1234
01:21:34,560 --> 01:21:38,235
I see. You've calculated it
in terms of hunger.
1235
01:21:38,400 --> 01:21:42,030
No, I just wanted to be absolutely impartial.
1236
01:21:42,200 --> 01:21:45,238
Both of us are faced
with two rather uncomfortable years.
1237
01:21:45,400 --> 01:21:48,199
We can condense those two years
to two minutes...
1238
01:21:48,360 --> 01:21:51,273
-...if you want to accept my proposition.
- Go on.
1239
01:21:52,520 --> 01:21:56,991
I am willing to hand over the jewels
and sign any necessary papers...
1240
01:21:57,160 --> 01:22:00,118
...if you will take that 5:40 plane to Moscow.
1241
01:22:01,920 --> 01:22:06,710
That's not the way to win him back.
Not Leon.
1242
01:22:07,400 --> 01:22:11,314
I think I know Leon quite as well as you.
Perhaps a little better.
1243
01:22:11,480 --> 01:22:12,914
Leave that worry to me.
1244
01:22:13,080 --> 01:22:17,790
Now, 5:40 leaves you time enough
to close the deal with Monsieur Mercier...
1245
01:22:17,960 --> 01:22:23,399
...but, uh, naturally,
you'll be too busy for any farewells.
1246
01:22:23,560 --> 01:22:27,474
I will see to it that everything is done
in the most expeditious manner.
1247
01:22:27,640 --> 01:22:30,280
And I will also see you to the airport.
1248
01:22:31,240 --> 01:22:33,959
That's my proposition,
Comrade Yakushova.
1249
01:22:52,960 --> 01:22:56,032
Yes? Oh, hello.
1250
01:23:05,640 --> 01:23:07,677
Yes, Leon.
1251
01:23:08,360 --> 01:23:10,749
No, you didn't waken me.
1252
01:23:10,960 --> 01:23:13,429
I'm fine, thank you.
1253
01:23:15,120 --> 01:23:18,078
Yes. Oh, yes, it was wonderful.
1254
01:23:19,480 --> 01:23:20,515
For luncheon?
1255
01:23:23,040 --> 01:23:26,396
I'm afraid I can't. I have lots of things
to attend to today, Leon.
1256
01:23:26,600 --> 01:23:28,671
I'm going to be very busy.
1257
01:23:30,240 --> 01:23:34,393
To tell you the truth,
I'm a little tired and I would like to rest.
1258
01:23:35,200 --> 01:23:36,952
Maybe you're right.
1259
01:23:37,320 --> 01:23:39,436
Perhaps it is the champagne.
1260
01:23:40,720 --> 01:23:42,154
For dinner?
1261
01:23:42,760 --> 01:23:47,152
Of course. Seven o'clock here?
1262
01:23:48,120 --> 01:23:50,316
Seven o'clock will be all right.
1263
01:23:52,000 --> 01:23:55,197
Come in. Yes.
1264
01:23:56,240 --> 01:23:57,799
Just a moment.
1265
01:23:59,600 --> 01:24:02,319
- You can leave it here.
- Yes, madame.
1266
01:24:16,760 --> 01:24:18,319
Oh.
1267
01:24:52,880 --> 01:24:55,998
Operator, will you switch the call, please?
1268
01:24:56,160 --> 01:25:00,040
Darling, your present just arrived.
1269
01:25:00,240 --> 01:25:04,279
It's very silly and very wonderful.
1270
01:25:06,480 --> 01:25:07,709
What?
1271
01:25:08,720 --> 01:25:12,475
I won't forget. Seven o'clock.
1272
01:25:14,120 --> 01:25:16,350
Goodbye, darling.
1273
01:25:16,680 --> 01:25:18,478
What?
1274
01:25:19,520 --> 01:25:20,840
Oh.
1275
01:25:21,600 --> 01:25:23,034
Salute.
1276
01:25:32,400 --> 01:25:35,472
- Good afternoon, Jacqueline.
- Good afternoon, Your Highness.
1277
01:25:35,640 --> 01:25:36,675
- Madame--
- Yes, I know.
1278
01:25:36,840 --> 01:25:39,434
You didn't find my other glove.
It's all right. You're forgiven.
1279
01:25:39,600 --> 01:25:41,477
Thank you, Your Highness.
1280
01:25:41,640 --> 01:25:44,280
Count d'AIgout is waiting.
He's been here for some time.
1281
01:25:44,440 --> 01:25:46,909
Oh, Count d'AIgout? Yes.
1282
01:25:51,520 --> 01:25:53,431
Oh, Leon, darling. How nice.
1283
01:25:53,600 --> 01:25:56,558
- Have you ordered tea or a cocktail?
- No, thanks, Swana.
1284
01:25:56,720 --> 01:25:59,473
Did I act stupidly last night?
Should I apologize?
1285
01:25:59,640 --> 01:26:03,395
No. I'm the one who should apologize.
I should have talked to you before.
1286
01:26:03,560 --> 01:26:05,995
Is this, by any chance,
going to be a confession?
1287
01:26:06,160 --> 01:26:08,310
- Yes.
- Aw, no, no, no, my little Volga boatman.
1288
01:26:08,480 --> 01:26:10,357
Have you forgotten
our first commandment?
1289
01:26:10,560 --> 01:26:12,358
Never complain, never explain.
1290
01:26:12,560 --> 01:26:16,076
It's worked so often and so perfectly
in the past, let's not break the rule.
1291
01:26:16,240 --> 01:26:18,311
Please don't look so guilty. Otherwise, I--
1292
01:26:18,520 --> 01:26:21,876
Swana, just this once,
I must ask you to listen to me.
1293
01:26:23,000 --> 01:26:24,399
All right.
1294
01:26:27,000 --> 01:26:30,630
- I'm listening.
- I know you hate the obvious.
1295
01:26:31,160 --> 01:26:34,073
But do you mind if, for the moment,
I'm not the least subtle?
1296
01:26:34,240 --> 01:26:35,719
Brutal frankness, if you insist.
1297
01:26:37,120 --> 01:26:39,953
There are 100 ways of approaching it...
1298
01:26:40,120 --> 01:26:43,033
...but I feel it can best be said
in one simple phrase.
1299
01:26:43,200 --> 01:26:44,429
I'm in love, Swana.
1300
01:26:45,160 --> 01:26:49,358
Oh! And I thought it was something serious.
Oh, how could you frighten me so?
1301
01:26:49,520 --> 01:26:50,794
It must be serious.
1302
01:26:50,960 --> 01:26:54,430
Not so long ago I'd have considered
such a statement juvenile...
1303
01:26:54,640 --> 01:26:56,517
...and rather middle-class.
1304
01:26:56,680 --> 01:27:00,799
Now I can say it without a stammer,
without a blush.
1305
01:27:01,120 --> 01:27:02,394
I'm in love, Swana.
1306
01:27:02,560 --> 01:27:05,712
But, Leon, this has the ugly sound
of regeneration.
1307
01:27:05,880 --> 01:27:09,157
- I'm afraid that's what it is, Swana.
- Heh. Always late.
1308
01:27:09,320 --> 01:27:11,675
Same old trouble.
Whether you're taking me to the opera...
1309
01:27:11,840 --> 01:27:14,195
...or calling for me at a beauty shop,
you're never on time.
1310
01:27:14,360 --> 01:27:20,470
Now, when it's a question of your reform,
late again by about five minutes.
1311
01:27:21,560 --> 01:27:23,870
- What is this, Swana?
- Knowing the efficiency...
1312
01:27:24,040 --> 01:27:26,953
...of the French air service,
I think I can safely guarantee...
1313
01:27:27,120 --> 01:27:28,952
...Yakushova has taken off for Moscow.
1314
01:27:29,120 --> 01:27:32,715
- Has done what?
- She's gone, Leon.
1315
01:27:32,880 --> 01:27:36,760
- You don't expect me to believe that?
- There's the telephone.
1316
01:27:37,240 --> 01:27:41,029
If you call the hotel,
you'll find you have no 7:00 appointment.
1317
01:27:50,000 --> 01:27:54,153
Imagine. For once in our lives
we were in Paris...
1318
01:27:54,320 --> 01:27:58,109
-...and we never went to the Eiffel Tower.
- That's right.
1319
01:27:58,280 --> 01:28:01,671
They tell me it has a wonderful restaurant
on the second floor.
1320
01:28:01,840 --> 01:28:04,719
Yes, it is an amazing piece
of engineering...
1321
01:28:04,920 --> 01:28:08,390
...still the most remarkable
iron structure in the world.
1322
01:28:09,760 --> 01:28:10,989
1323
01:28:11,160 --> 01:28:13,037
Leading to the top...
1324
01:28:13,200 --> 01:28:18,195
...there is a staircase of over 1000 steps...
1325
01:28:18,360 --> 01:28:23,514
...but there is an elevator included
in the price of admission.
1326
01:28:36,800 --> 01:28:40,031
Well, everything's in order,
I hope you will enjoy your trip to Russia.
1327
01:28:40,200 --> 01:28:42,919
Thank you. Oh, by the way,
I've heard so many rumors...
1328
01:28:43,080 --> 01:28:46,960
...about laundry conditions in Russia.
Is it advisable to take one's own towels?
1329
01:28:47,120 --> 01:28:49,589
Certainly not, madame.
That is only capitalistic propaganda.
1330
01:28:49,800 --> 01:28:52,076
- We change the towel every week.
- Oh, thank you.
1331
01:28:54,320 --> 01:28:56,516
Hello. Comrade Cazabine?
1332
01:28:56,720 --> 01:28:59,838
No, I am sorry.
He hasn't been with us for six months.
1333
01:29:00,000 --> 01:29:02,276
He was called back to Russia
and was investigated.
1334
01:29:02,480 --> 01:29:06,599
You can get further details from his widow.
You're very welcome.
1335
01:29:06,760 --> 01:29:09,036
Pardon me, I was interested
in what you were just saying.
1336
01:29:09,200 --> 01:29:12,511
When an envoy goes back to Russia
and they don't like what he's done...
1337
01:29:12,680 --> 01:29:14,751
-...they put him out of the way?
- Not always.
1338
01:29:14,920 --> 01:29:17,434
Look at me. I've been back twice.
1339
01:29:17,600 --> 01:29:19,591
Here's my passport. Please give me a visa.
1340
01:29:19,760 --> 01:29:24,072
- I must leave for Russia immediately.
- Count Leon d'AIgout. A count.
1341
01:29:24,240 --> 01:29:26,197
- A nobleman.
- Don't hold that against me, please.
1342
01:29:26,360 --> 01:29:28,271
Why should an aristocrat go to Russia?
1343
01:29:28,440 --> 01:29:29,999
- Business.
- What business?
1344
01:29:30,160 --> 01:29:32,993
- Private.
- There is no private business in Russia.
1345
01:29:33,160 --> 01:29:37,154
This whole thing seems very suspicious.
What is the real reason?
1346
01:29:37,320 --> 01:29:40,312
If you ever want to get into Russia,
take my advice. Confess.
1347
01:29:40,520 --> 01:29:43,080
Listen. I'll be absolutely frank with you.
1348
01:29:43,240 --> 01:29:45,959
- I have no business in Moscow.
- I think so too.
1349
01:29:46,120 --> 01:29:48,475
I want to see a friend of mine,
a very dear friend.
1350
01:29:48,640 --> 01:29:52,349
It's a personal matter that has no relation
to social philosophies or politics.
1351
01:29:52,520 --> 01:29:55,672
- It's a girl.
- It is love which drags you to Moscow.
1352
01:29:55,840 --> 01:29:57,478
- Yes.
- No visa.
1353
01:29:57,640 --> 01:30:00,519
- But I must get into that country of yours.
- Oh, no. No visa.
1354
01:30:00,680 --> 01:30:03,832
But that's impossible. You can't do it!
You haven't the right to-
1355
01:30:04,040 --> 01:30:07,590
- Listen. If you don't give me that visa-
- You're going to force us, huh?
1356
01:30:07,760 --> 01:30:10,593
You advertise all over the world
for people to go into your country.
1357
01:30:10,800 --> 01:30:12,632
When somebody tries,
you won't let them!
1358
01:30:12,840 --> 01:30:14,513
- Why should I take a chance?
- On what?
1359
01:30:14,720 --> 01:30:17,030
How do I know you don't want
to blow up a factory?
1360
01:30:17,200 --> 01:30:19,032
- What for? Why?
- Or a tunnel or bridge?
1361
01:30:19,200 --> 01:30:21,635
Nothing but suspicions.
That's the trouble with you.
1362
01:30:21,800 --> 01:30:25,475
Listen, if you don't let me in,
I'll stand in front of this office of yours...
1363
01:30:25,640 --> 01:30:27,472
...and warn people to keep away.
1364
01:30:27,640 --> 01:30:31,793
I'll picket your whole country.
I'll boycott you, that's what I'll do.
1365
01:30:31,960 --> 01:30:36,431
No more vodka, no more caviar,
no more Tchaikovsky, no more borscht!
1366
01:30:36,600 --> 01:30:39,592
- Wait a minute. I've got a better idea.
- What?
1367
01:30:40,680 --> 01:30:43,274
And you can tell the Kremlin
that's just the beginning.
1368
01:30:43,440 --> 01:30:44,794
No visa.
1369
01:30:46,200 --> 01:30:48,919
March! March! March!
1370
01:30:49,080 --> 01:30:50,514
Comrades of the world...
1371
01:30:50,680 --> 01:30:53,638
...never has there been
such a May Day parade as this.
1372
01:31:38,600 --> 01:31:40,830
- Good afternoon, Anna.
- Good afternoon, Ninotchka.
1373
01:31:41,000 --> 01:31:42,149
Aren't you late?
1374
01:31:42,320 --> 01:31:45,597
No. The opera starts an hour later tonight
on account of the parade.
1375
01:31:45,760 --> 01:31:49,435
- Didn't you march today?
- They didn't let me. I'm in disgrace.
1376
01:31:49,600 --> 01:31:52,752
Last week, at the performance of Cannen,
I played a sour note.
1377
01:31:52,920 --> 01:31:54,911
The conductor got so excited, he yelled:
1378
01:31:55,080 --> 01:31:57,833
"There is sabotage in the string section!"
1379
01:31:59,240 --> 01:32:01,914
Too bad, Anna.
You missed an inspiring day.
1380
01:32:02,080 --> 01:32:05,277
Yes, I know. Are you expecting someone?
1381
01:32:05,440 --> 01:32:09,195
- A few friends. Just a small dinner party.
- And what are you serving?
1382
01:32:09,360 --> 01:32:12,000
- An omelet.
- An omelet?
1383
01:32:12,160 --> 01:32:14,436
Aren't you living a little above your ration?
1384
01:32:14,600 --> 01:32:15,920
I saved two eggs...
1385
01:32:16,080 --> 01:32:18,879
...and each of my friends is bringing his own.
We'll manage.
1386
01:32:19,040 --> 01:32:21,270
Just goes to prove the theory of our State.
1387
01:32:21,440 --> 01:32:23,750
If you stand alone, it means a boiled egg...
1388
01:32:23,920 --> 01:32:27,834
...but if you're true to the collective spirit
and stick together, you've got an omelet.
1389
01:32:28,000 --> 01:32:32,119
Heh. That reminds me. Have you heard
the latest they're telling about the Kremlin?
1390
01:32:32,280 --> 01:32:35,511
Well, one man... I'll tell you later.
1391
01:32:47,120 --> 01:32:48,349
Ah, that Gurganov.
1392
01:32:48,520 --> 01:32:51,956
You never know whether he's on his way
to the washroom, or the Secret Police.
1393
01:32:52,120 --> 01:32:54,634
- You should be more careful, Anna.
- And you too, Ninotchka.
1394
01:32:54,800 --> 01:32:57,997
- About what?
- Ever since you've been back from Paris-
1395
01:32:58,160 --> 01:33:01,278
I haven't talked to anyone about Paris.
I haven't said a word.
1396
01:33:01,440 --> 01:33:04,000
That's just it. It makes people feel queer.
1397
01:33:04,160 --> 01:33:06,151
And I don't want you to get in any trouble.
1398
01:33:06,320 --> 01:33:09,551
- I have nothing to hide.
- You should. I'll show you.
1399
01:33:10,840 --> 01:33:13,070
When I passed through
the laundry yard today...
1400
01:33:13,240 --> 01:33:17,120
...I saw all the women huddled around this,
so I brought it up here.
1401
01:33:17,320 --> 01:33:21,154
Things like this create a bad feeling.
First they didn't know whose it was...
1402
01:33:21,360 --> 01:33:24,432
...and then they saw the Paris label
and did it start a commotion.
1403
01:33:24,600 --> 01:33:26,876
Some said it's what we all ought to wear.
1404
01:33:27,040 --> 01:33:30,032
Others said it's like hanging foreign ideas
on our clothesline.
1405
01:33:30,200 --> 01:33:33,079
- It undermines our whole cause.
- I see.
1406
01:33:33,240 --> 01:33:35,709
You know how it is today.
All you have to do is wear...
1407
01:33:35,920 --> 01:33:39,231
...a pair of silk stockings,
and they suspect you of counter-revolution.
1408
01:33:39,400 --> 01:33:42,313
Thank you, Anna.
I'll dry it up here when I wash it next.
1409
01:33:42,480 --> 01:33:46,269
I should hate to see our country
endangered by my underwear.
1410
01:33:46,440 --> 01:33:50,354
Ninotchka, I'm your friend.
You can trust me.
1411
01:33:50,560 --> 01:33:53,120
- Did you bring back anything else?
- No.
1412
01:33:53,280 --> 01:33:57,114
I left everything in Paris.
I just happened to be wearing this.
1413
01:33:57,280 --> 01:34:00,079
Tell me, what else did you have?
1414
01:34:00,240 --> 01:34:03,039
Well, a hat.
1415
01:34:03,240 --> 01:34:04,878
What was it like?
1416
01:34:05,040 --> 01:34:08,954
Oh, it was very silly.
I'd be ashamed to wear it here.
1417
01:34:09,160 --> 01:34:11,674
As beautiful as that.
1418
01:34:11,840 --> 01:34:13,911
What else? Come, tell me.
1419
01:34:15,280 --> 01:34:18,910
- An evening gown.
- An evening gown?
1420
01:34:19,080 --> 01:34:21,230
Yes, it's a dress you wear in the evening.
1421
01:34:21,400 --> 01:34:23,198
What do you wear in the morning?
1422
01:34:23,360 --> 01:34:28,036
When you get up you wear a negligee,
then you change into a morning frock.
1423
01:34:28,200 --> 01:34:32,239
You mean to tell me you wear a different dress
for different times of the day?
1424
01:34:32,400 --> 01:34:35,756
- Yes.
- Now, Ninotchka, you are exaggerating.
1425
01:34:35,920 --> 01:34:40,391
No, it's true.
That's how they live in the other world.
1426
01:34:40,560 --> 01:34:43,552
Here we dress to cover up our bodies.
To keep warm.
1427
01:34:43,720 --> 01:34:45,438
And there?
1428
01:34:45,600 --> 01:34:50,356
Sometimes they're not completely covered,
but, uh, they don't freeze.
1429
01:34:51,280 --> 01:34:55,353
Oh, they must have wonderful materials
to make a thing like this.
1430
01:34:55,520 --> 01:34:57,113
So soft.
1431
01:34:57,280 --> 01:35:00,272
- Something you don't even see.
- You feel it, though.
1432
01:35:01,320 --> 01:35:05,712
Ninotchka, I wouldn't bring this up
if we weren't such good friends.
1433
01:35:05,880 --> 01:35:07,200
What is it, Anna?
1434
01:35:07,360 --> 01:35:11,115
You know I told you that Pavlov and I
are going to get married...
1435
01:35:11,280 --> 01:35:13,590
-...when he comes back from the maneuvers.
- Mm.
1436
01:35:13,760 --> 01:35:15,512
Would it be asking too much if...?
1437
01:35:15,680 --> 01:35:17,956
- You want this?
- Just for the honeymoon.
1438
01:35:18,120 --> 01:35:20,919
- It's yours for good.
- Ninotchka.
1439
01:35:21,080 --> 01:35:22,434
Ninotchka!
1440
01:35:23,360 --> 01:35:25,636
Thank you. Thank you very much.
1441
01:35:25,800 --> 01:35:28,872
I'll never, never forget what you've done.
1442
01:35:29,040 --> 01:35:31,714
Am I going to play that cadenza tonight!
1443
01:35:45,400 --> 01:35:49,155
Individuals, yes.
As atoms in the cosmos of Soviet Russia.
1444
01:35:49,320 --> 01:35:53,917
And 30 million peasants,
85 percent of the population...
1445
01:35:54,080 --> 01:35:56,993
Into an automobile
and the muzhik into a tractor...
1446
01:35:57,160 --> 01:35:59,549
...and then let the capitalists try to keep--
1447
01:36:04,560 --> 01:36:05,880
No music.
1448
01:36:11,320 --> 01:36:12,913
Ninotchka!
1449
01:36:13,560 --> 01:36:18,031
Aw, Buljanoff, Iranoff, and Kopalski!
How are you, you three scoundrels?
1450
01:36:18,200 --> 01:36:19,952
Well, we are back home.
1451
01:36:20,120 --> 01:36:22,430
You know what they say,
there is nothing like home.
1452
01:36:22,600 --> 01:36:24,079
And we might as well face it.
1453
01:36:24,240 --> 01:36:27,039
Now, you mustn't talk that way,
you must adjust yourselves.
1454
01:36:27,200 --> 01:36:29,919
- Let's be brave.
- Brave, that's right.
1455
01:36:30,080 --> 01:36:32,754
- Come and sit down.
- Let's be happy that we are all alive.
1456
01:36:32,920 --> 01:36:34,069
That we owe to Ninotchka.
1457
01:36:34,240 --> 01:36:37,631
If you hadn't given Commissar Razinin
such a wonderful report about us...
1458
01:36:37,800 --> 01:36:40,269
-...who knows what would've happened?
- I can tell you exactly.
1459
01:36:40,480 --> 01:36:42,790
Let's forget everything,
except we're together.
1460
01:36:42,960 --> 01:36:46,032
- Yes, let's do that.
- It's a real Paris reunion.
1461
01:36:46,200 --> 01:36:49,909
If you close your eyes and listen to our voices,
we might be in Paris.
1462
01:36:50,080 --> 01:36:53,630
Let's not close our eyes.
There are many good things to see here too.
1463
01:36:53,800 --> 01:36:56,155
Look how nicely
she has arranged the table.
1464
01:36:56,320 --> 01:37:00,791
Yes, how lovely. And what a wonderful room
you have here.
1465
01:37:01,000 --> 01:37:04,959
- How many families live here with you?
- Only myself and two other girls.
1466
01:37:05,120 --> 01:37:08,192
One is a cello player,
and the other's a streetcar conductor.
1467
01:37:08,360 --> 01:37:13,560
- Just three people in a room this size? Ooh.
- Buljanoff, look here.
1468
01:37:13,760 --> 01:37:15,398
- Isn't that wonderful?
- Look at this.
1469
01:37:15,560 --> 01:37:18,632
- What good material.
- Naturally, it's not the royal suite.
1470
01:37:18,800 --> 01:37:21,679
Comrades, once and for all,
we are in Moscow.
1471
01:37:21,840 --> 01:37:25,310
Yes, there's no doubt of that.
Just look out of the window and there it is.
1472
01:37:25,520 --> 01:37:26,794
And it's great.
1473
01:37:26,960 --> 01:37:29,998
Think what it was a few years ago
and what it is now.
1474
01:37:30,160 --> 01:37:32,071
It's a tremendous achievement.
1475
01:37:32,280 --> 01:37:34,715
- You must be reasonable, comrades.
- She is right.
1476
01:37:34,880 --> 01:37:36,632
Anyhow, let's talk ourselves into it.
1477
01:37:36,800 --> 01:37:40,589
All right. It's great.
It's marvelous. It's wonderful.
1478
01:37:40,760 --> 01:37:42,797
Just see how happy the people look
from here.
1479
01:37:43,000 --> 01:37:45,560
Can you blame them?
At least the May Day parade is over.
1480
01:37:45,720 --> 01:37:47,518
That's another thing. It's spring.
1481
01:37:47,680 --> 01:37:50,399
The same spring we had in Paris.
Just as good.
1482
01:37:50,560 --> 01:37:52,631
- Even the swallows are back.
- Really?
1483
01:37:52,840 --> 01:37:57,232
Yes, that's right. Maybe it's
the same swallow we saw in Paris.
1484
01:37:57,400 --> 01:38:00,074
Yes, it is, Ninotchka. It is.
1485
01:38:00,240 --> 01:38:03,278
He must have been in Paris.
You can see it in his whole attitude.
1486
01:38:03,480 --> 01:38:07,030
He picked up a crumb of our black bread,
shook his head and dropped it.
1487
01:38:07,200 --> 01:38:10,636
We must be patient.
Finally we got the spring, didn't we?
1488
01:38:10,800 --> 01:38:13,360
Oh, let's forget the future.
Let's stop being sentimental.
1489
01:38:13,520 --> 01:38:15,875
- Let's start that omelet.
- That's right.
1490
01:38:16,040 --> 01:38:18,793
- Here is my egg.
- And here is mine.
1491
01:38:18,960 --> 01:38:20,598
And here are mine.
1492
01:38:20,760 --> 01:38:23,832
I don't know, where's my egg?
I had an egg too.
1493
01:38:25,800 --> 01:38:28,030
Comrades, I am out of the omelet.
1494
01:38:28,200 --> 01:38:30,237
- Don't worry, there'll be enough.
- Of course.
1495
01:38:30,400 --> 01:38:32,596
- Thank you.
- Now come over here.
1496
01:38:33,880 --> 01:38:36,872
Come, Ninotchka,
let's make it in real Parisian style.
1497
01:38:37,040 --> 01:38:39,919
- Yeah.
- Let's fill it with comfiture des prunes.
1498
01:38:52,880 --> 01:38:54,632
A man like that...
1499
01:38:54,800 --> 01:38:58,156
...all he has to do is walk through a room
and the omelet drops.
1500
01:38:58,320 --> 01:38:59,515
1501
01:39:01,080 --> 01:39:02,832
Paris
1502
01:39:03,040 --> 01:39:05,793
I still adore you
1503
01:39:06,000 --> 01:39:07,593
Adore you, ha-ha-ha
1504
01:39:07,760 --> 01:39:10,400
Paris
1505
01:39:10,560 --> 01:39:12,710
I'm longing for you
1506
01:39:12,920 --> 01:39:15,116
For you, for you, Pan's
1507
01:39:15,280 --> 01:39:17,510
For you
1508
01:39:17,720 --> 01:39:20,917
I left my heart my with you
1509
01:39:22,240 --> 01:39:25,039
- For you
NINOTCHKA: Shh.
1510
01:39:47,160 --> 01:39:50,152
Comrade Yakushova, here,
the postman left this letter for you.
1511
01:39:50,320 --> 01:39:52,596
Thank you, Vladimir. Thank you.
1512
01:39:59,360 --> 01:40:02,159
- What is it, Ninotchka?
- Ninotchka, what is it?
1513
01:40:02,320 --> 01:40:03,913
- It's from Paris.
- From Paris?
1514
01:40:04,080 --> 01:40:05,753
- A bill?
- From Leon.
1515
01:40:05,920 --> 01:40:07,797
- From Leon?
- How is he, tell us?
1516
01:40:07,960 --> 01:40:09,997
Shh!
1517
01:40:45,720 --> 01:40:46,949
Bad news?
1518
01:41:12,920 --> 01:41:15,719
- Well, I think it's getting late.
- Hmm.
1519
01:41:17,520 --> 01:41:19,397
Good night, Ninotchka.
1520
01:41:20,200 --> 01:41:22,316
Thanks for a wonderful dinner.
1521
01:41:25,360 --> 01:41:27,636
- Good night, Ninotchka.
- Good night.
1522
01:41:28,400 --> 01:41:29,754
Good night.
1523
01:41:33,240 --> 01:41:36,949
They can't censor our memories, can they?
1524
01:41:37,120 --> 01:41:38,394
1525
01:42:13,840 --> 01:42:14,875
Come in.
1526
01:42:22,920 --> 01:42:25,912
- Good morning, comrade.
- Good morning, Comrade Commissar.
1527
01:42:26,080 --> 01:42:29,675
Here's my report on materials available
for trading in the next four months.
1528
01:42:29,840 --> 01:42:32,195
Does it include the products
of the far eastern provinces?
1529
01:42:32,360 --> 01:42:35,478
- Yes, it does. Yes.
- You've finished the whole investigation?
1530
01:42:35,640 --> 01:42:38,075
That's marvelous.
You must have worked day and night.
1531
01:42:38,240 --> 01:42:40,914
- Don't you ever sleep?
- I need very little sleep.
1532
01:42:41,080 --> 01:42:44,118
We must be extremely careful
what goods we take in exchange.
1533
01:42:44,280 --> 01:42:47,033
I have already started a survey
on our most urgent needs.
1534
01:42:47,200 --> 01:42:51,273
Comrade, I am afraid you will have
to turn over that work to someone else.
1535
01:42:51,440 --> 01:42:53,192
May I ask why?
1536
01:42:53,360 --> 01:42:55,874
- Please sit down.
- Thank you.
1537
01:42:56,040 --> 01:42:58,031
Now, comrade, have you heard
from your friends...
1538
01:42:58,200 --> 01:42:59,952
...Kopalski, Buljanoff, and Iranoff?
1539
01:43:00,120 --> 01:43:01,474
- No.
- I haven't either...
1540
01:43:01,640 --> 01:43:03,950
...but I have heard about them.
You must realize...
1541
01:43:04,120 --> 01:43:08,034
...it was on the strength of your Paris report
that I sent them to Constantinople.
1542
01:43:08,240 --> 01:43:10,390
Without that,
I never would have trusted them...
1543
01:43:10,560 --> 01:43:14,155
-...on a mission as important as a fur deal.
- May I ask what has happened?
1544
01:43:14,320 --> 01:43:17,631
If I told you what's going on
in Constantinople right now...
1545
01:43:17,800 --> 01:43:19,279
...you wouldn't believe it.
1546
01:43:19,440 --> 01:43:21,875
They are sitting there, those three,
for six weeks...
1547
01:43:22,040 --> 01:43:26,318
...and haven't sold a piece of fur.
This anonymous report was sent to me.
1548
01:43:26,480 --> 01:43:30,474
They are dragging the good name of our
country through every cafe and nightclub.
1549
01:43:30,680 --> 01:43:34,992
Here. "How can the Bolshevik cause
gain respect among the Moslems...
1550
01:43:35,160 --> 01:43:39,677
...if your three representatives, Buljanoff,
Iranoff, and Kopalski, get so drunk...
1551
01:43:39,840 --> 01:43:42,480
...that they throw a carpet
out of their hotel window...
1552
01:43:42,640 --> 01:43:45,109
...and complain to the management
that it didn't fly.“
1553
01:43:45,320 --> 01:43:47,277
Unbelievable! It's an outrage.
1554
01:43:47,840 --> 01:43:51,799
They shouldn't do such things.
Are you sure this report's correct?
1555
01:43:51,960 --> 01:43:55,510
Naturally, I want to verify it,
and that's why I need you.
1556
01:43:56,240 --> 01:43:59,835
- You want me to go to Constantinople?
- Yes, leaving immediately.
1557
01:44:00,040 --> 01:44:02,350
I appreciate your confidence in me...
1558
01:44:02,520 --> 01:44:05,478
...but I must ask you
to entrust someone else with this mission.
1559
01:44:05,640 --> 01:44:07,870
I should hate to interrupt
my present work.
1560
01:44:08,040 --> 01:44:10,190
I am positive my survey
is more important...
1561
01:44:10,360 --> 01:44:13,193
...than finding out whether
three of our comrades have been...
1562
01:44:13,360 --> 01:44:15,351
...drinking some extra glasses
of champagne.
1563
01:44:15,560 --> 01:44:17,551
That is for me to decide,
Comrade Yakushova.
1564
01:44:17,720 --> 01:44:21,873
I am sorry.
I don't want to overstep my position...
1565
01:44:22,040 --> 01:44:25,556
...but please don't send me.
Please, comrade, let me stay here.
1566
01:44:25,720 --> 01:44:28,314
Let me finish my work.
I'm in the rhythm of it now.
1567
01:44:28,480 --> 01:44:29,800
I don't want to go away.
1568
01:44:29,960 --> 01:44:32,679
I don't wanna be sent
into that foreign atmosphere again.
1569
01:44:32,840 --> 01:44:34,114
It throws you out of gear.
1570
01:44:34,280 --> 01:44:37,875
Let me finish my work.
I have concentrated everything in it.
1571
01:44:38,080 --> 01:44:40,151
Please don't make me go.
1572
01:44:40,320 --> 01:44:45,349
Don't waste my time, comrade.
Do your duty. Goodbye.
1573
01:44:45,520 --> 01:44:47,318
I shall do my best.
1574
01:45:29,360 --> 01:45:32,193
How do you like it, Ninotchka?
Isn't it wonderful?
1575
01:45:32,360 --> 01:45:35,352
- Tell us, Ninotchka.
- Buljanoff, Iranoff, Kopalski-
1576
01:45:35,520 --> 01:45:37,909
Now, please don't start
figuring it out in cows.
1577
01:45:38,080 --> 01:45:41,869
You've done it again, and I'm responsible.
How can you forget yourselves this way?
1578
01:45:42,040 --> 01:45:44,270
You were sent here to make money,
not to spend it.
1579
01:45:44,480 --> 01:45:46,994
Buljanoff, she still has
those old-fashioned ideas.
1580
01:45:47,160 --> 01:45:49,720
- It is high time she got out of Russia.
- Comrades.
1581
01:45:49,880 --> 01:45:52,554
- I must be stem with you.
- That's our old Ninotchka.
1582
01:45:52,720 --> 01:45:57,157
Don't forget the day will come
when you will have to face Razinin.
1583
01:45:57,320 --> 01:45:59,789
Ninotchka! Razinin?
1584
01:45:59,960 --> 01:46:03,999
Good old Razinin. Is he still alive?
How does he manage?
1585
01:46:04,160 --> 01:46:07,198
- Comrades-
- Friends, Ninotchka, we are friends.
1586
01:46:07,360 --> 01:46:09,556
Imagine, we don't have
to whisper anymore.
1587
01:46:09,720 --> 01:46:11,358
No. We can say whatever we want.
1588
01:46:11,520 --> 01:46:14,797
We can shout, we can complain. Look.
1589
01:46:17,560 --> 01:46:20,200
The service in this hotel is terrible!
1590
01:46:21,840 --> 01:46:25,674
See? Nobody comes,
nobody pays any attention.
1591
01:46:25,840 --> 01:46:28,434
- That's freedom.
- That's bad management.
1592
01:46:28,600 --> 01:46:31,319
Is it possible to bring you back to reality
for one moment?
1593
01:46:31,480 --> 01:46:34,074
I must have a complete report
of your negotiations...
1594
01:46:34,280 --> 01:46:37,432
-...and a detailed expense account.
- No, no, Ninotchka, don't ask for it.
1595
01:46:37,600 --> 01:46:39,432
There is a Turkish proverb which says:
1596
01:46:39,600 --> 01:46:41,910
"If something smells bad,
why put your nose in it?"
1597
01:46:42,120 --> 01:46:43,554
There is an old Russian saying:
1598
01:46:43,720 --> 01:46:46,917
“The cat who has cream on his whiskers
had better find good excuses."
1599
01:46:47,080 --> 01:46:48,718
With our cream situation as it is...
1600
01:46:48,920 --> 01:46:51,196
...it's Russia that should apologize
to the cats.
1601
01:46:51,360 --> 01:46:54,239
I don't know how I can
get you out of it this time.
1602
01:46:54,400 --> 01:46:55,629
How will it end?
1603
01:46:55,840 --> 01:46:57,399
- Shall we tell her?
- Yes.
1604
01:46:58,640 --> 01:47:01,792
- Ninotchka, I hope you'll be our guest.
- Guest?
1605
01:47:01,960 --> 01:47:05,590
- Yes, we have opened a restaurant.
- A restaurant?
1606
01:47:05,760 --> 01:47:08,115
We have a wonderful electric sign:
1607
01:47:08,280 --> 01:47:10,590
“Dine with Buljanoff, Iranoff,
and Kopalski."
1608
01:47:10,760 --> 01:47:12,831
You mean you're deserting Russia?
1609
01:47:13,000 --> 01:47:17,631
Ninotchka, don't call it desertion.
Our little restaurant, that is our Russia.
1610
01:47:17,800 --> 01:47:20,997
The Russia of borscht,
the Russia of beef Stroganoff.
1611
01:47:21,200 --> 01:47:24,477
- Of blinis and sour cream.
- The Russia of pirozhki.
1612
01:47:24,640 --> 01:47:28,076
- People will eat and love it.
- We are not only serving good food...
1613
01:47:28,240 --> 01:47:31,119
...we are serving our country.
We are making friends.
1614
01:47:31,280 --> 01:47:34,716
Who gave you this idea?
What's responsible for all this?
1615
01:47:34,920 --> 01:47:38,595
There is something in Constantinople,
something irresistible.
1616
01:47:38,800 --> 01:47:41,030
It's in the air.
It may come around the corner...
1617
01:47:41,200 --> 01:47:44,158
-...when you walk down the street.
- It may step out of a bazaar.
1618
01:47:44,320 --> 01:47:48,029
It may be waiting for you in a corridor.
It may hide in the shadow of a minaret.
1619
01:47:48,200 --> 01:47:50,271
And right now it's on the balcony.
1620
01:47:55,600 --> 01:47:57,830
They wouldn't let me in,
so I had to get you out.
1621
01:48:02,320 --> 01:48:03,958
Leon.
1622
01:48:04,480 --> 01:48:06,073
Ninotchka.
1623
01:48:06,240 --> 01:48:11,030
So you're behind all this.
I should have known.
1624
01:48:28,840 --> 01:48:31,195
Trying to keep me away from you.
1625
01:48:31,600 --> 01:48:33,796
As though that were possible.
1626
01:48:34,400 --> 01:48:38,553
Naturally, I couldn't go on forever
punching passport officials in the nose...
1627
01:48:38,720 --> 01:48:40,472
...but I found a way, didn't I?
1628
01:48:40,640 --> 01:48:43,200
Oh, darling, I had to see you.
I wrote and wrote.
1629
01:48:43,360 --> 01:48:44,794
All my letters came back to me.
1630
01:48:44,960 --> 01:48:47,634
And the one I got,
they wouldn't let me read.
1631
01:48:47,800 --> 01:48:50,679
It began, "Ninotchka, my darling"...
1632
01:48:50,840 --> 01:48:53,400
...and it ended "Yours, Leon."
1633
01:48:54,520 --> 01:48:57,034
I won't tell you what came between.
1634
01:48:57,200 --> 01:48:59,350
I'll show you, I'll prove it.
1635
01:49:00,640 --> 01:49:03,029
But it'll take a long time, Ninotchka.
1636
01:49:03,920 --> 01:49:05,149
At least a lifetime.
1637
01:49:07,000 --> 01:49:10,709
Oh, but, Leon, I'm only here for a few days.
1638
01:49:10,880 --> 01:49:15,238
All right, if you don't stay with me,
then I'll have to continue my fight.
1639
01:49:15,440 --> 01:49:17,750
I'll travel wherever
there are Russian commissions.
1640
01:49:17,920 --> 01:49:20,673
I'll turn them all into Iranoffs,
Buljanoffs, and Kopalskis.
1641
01:49:20,840 --> 01:49:22,831
The world will be crowded
with Russian restaurants.
1642
01:49:23,000 --> 01:49:24,718
I'll depopulate Russia.
1643
01:49:25,400 --> 01:49:30,429
Comrade, once you saved
your country by going back.
1644
01:49:30,600 --> 01:49:32,830
This time you can only save it
by staying here.
1645
01:49:35,280 --> 01:49:38,477
Well, if it is a choice
between my personal interest...
1646
01:49:38,640 --> 01:49:42,520
...and the good of my country,
how can I waver?
1647
01:49:42,720 --> 01:49:46,839
No one shall say Ninotchka
was a bad Russian.
1648
01:49:47,000 --> 01:49:48,434
Darling.
141177
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