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1
00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:27,875
Okay, yeah, Dad, just press the circle.
Just once. Just press it--
2
00:00:27,958 --> 00:00:30,166
-[man splutters]
-Okay, wait, tell me when we're going.
3
00:00:30,250 --> 00:00:31,833
-Okay. All right.
-Okay. Ready?
4
00:00:32,333 --> 00:00:36,125
Okay. I know I have
some things to clear up, so…
5
00:00:37,625 --> 00:00:39,833
I thought this is gonna be the best way.
6
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:43,875
If you don't like what I'm saying,
don't write in the comments
7
00:00:43,958 --> 00:00:47,041
because I will not read it
and will not even care.
8
00:00:47,750 --> 00:00:49,791
[sighs] Okay, here we go.
9
00:00:49,875 --> 00:00:51,625
["The Bad Touch"
by The Bloodhound Gang plays]
10
00:00:51,708 --> 00:00:55,333
When I moved to the US,
I knew fitting in was gonna be hard.
11
00:00:56,041 --> 00:00:59,625
I just didn't know
how bloody hard it was going to be.
12
00:00:59,708 --> 00:01:02,625
And all I wanted was to get invited
to the coolest club in town,
13
00:01:03,458 --> 00:01:04,875
Rock 'N' Bowl.
14
00:01:04,958 --> 00:01:06,458
But I never was.
15
00:01:06,541 --> 00:01:10,458
Anyone who was anyone was rolling
with their homies on a Saturday night.
16
00:01:10,541 --> 00:01:14,666
It was like basically a VMAs after-party.
17
00:01:15,166 --> 00:01:19,916
So when I turned 14, uh, yeah,
that's where I had my birthday.
18
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:23,125
-Ah! It's an alien baby.
-Ew!
19
00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:27,125
That's gonna make me sick.
I think I'm gonna shit fireballs.
20
00:01:27,208 --> 00:01:30,708
[woman] Being there made me feel cool
for the first time in my life.
21
00:01:30,791 --> 00:01:31,833
Steph, you do one.
22
00:01:31,916 --> 00:01:34,083
[Steph] I felt like
the kids I wanted to be.
23
00:01:34,166 --> 00:01:38,125
You know, the ones who seem immune
to that awkward teen phase…
24
00:01:38,208 --> 00:01:40,125
["Only You (And You Alone)"
by The Platters plays]
25
00:01:40,208 --> 00:01:43,333
…the ones whose bones
have Jenga'd themselves into a hot frame.
26
00:01:43,416 --> 00:01:46,541
The only bumps on their skin are abs,
27
00:01:46,625 --> 00:01:51,791
and their natural scent is perfect,
like CK One perfect.
28
00:01:51,875 --> 00:01:53,375
-The populars.
-Been looking for you.
29
00:01:54,875 --> 00:01:57,125
'Sup, Blaine. Hey, Tiffany.
30
00:01:57,208 --> 00:01:58,375
[clears throat]
31
00:01:58,458 --> 00:02:01,208
I'm having a birthday party,
if you guys wanna join.
32
00:02:02,291 --> 00:02:03,291
[boy] Ooh, ooh.
33
00:02:03,375 --> 00:02:05,541
Cute that in Australia
you call it a party,
34
00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:09,208
'cause in America,
we call that a freak show. [chuckles]
35
00:02:09,291 --> 00:02:13,208
Well, um, it's actually not a freak show
'cause we have cake, so…
36
00:02:13,750 --> 00:02:14,750
Let's go.
37
00:02:15,625 --> 00:02:18,500
[Steph] God, I just wanted
to be like them so bad.
38
00:02:18,583 --> 00:02:21,375
If they were this amazing in high school,
39
00:02:21,458 --> 00:02:24,166
imagine how perfect
the rest of their lives would be.
40
00:02:24,250 --> 00:02:28,625
-♪ Can make the darkness bright ♪
-[chuckles]
41
00:02:28,708 --> 00:02:31,125
[girl] Come on, Steph,
I wanna take more photos.
42
00:02:31,208 --> 00:02:33,125
-Come on, Bobby! [laughs]
-[laughs]
43
00:02:33,208 --> 00:02:34,583
[girl] You are too much.
44
00:02:34,666 --> 00:02:38,791
Guys! Could we just, like, try to be cool
for once?
45
00:02:39,291 --> 00:02:41,208
[sad music plays]
46
00:02:41,291 --> 00:02:44,041
[Steph] I hated thinking
that life wasn't for me…
47
00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:48,333
that I was destined to be
48
00:02:48,416 --> 00:02:53,666
just some average, boring, invisible girl
who had no friends.
49
00:02:53,750 --> 00:02:57,000
In Australia, we call that a Nigel,
but whatever.
50
00:02:57,083 --> 00:02:58,625
You guys know what I mean.
51
00:03:00,666 --> 00:03:02,416
I wanted to be something more.
52
00:03:04,208 --> 00:03:05,875
And that's when I decided…
53
00:03:08,125 --> 00:03:10,625
[scoffs] …that's it.
I'm gonna become popular.
54
00:03:11,416 --> 00:03:13,708
I know your favorite is
"I Want It That Way,"
55
00:03:13,791 --> 00:03:15,041
but it's my favorite too.
56
00:03:15,541 --> 00:03:16,791
Oh my God!
57
00:03:16,875 --> 00:03:21,208
Okay, I Darrin Dance Groove'd my ass off
and became captain of the cheer squad.
58
00:03:21,291 --> 00:03:24,500
I got so many new friends,
I didn't even know some of their names.
59
00:03:24,583 --> 00:03:27,375
But like, of course,
I would always smile at them.
60
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:32,125
And, oh my God, before I knew it,
I had the hottest boyfriend in school.
61
00:03:32,208 --> 00:03:36,500
Like he was so, so hot.
Just like, mega hot.
62
00:03:36,583 --> 00:03:39,750
-[camera shutter clicks]
-["Sk8er Boi" by Avril Lavigne plays]
63
00:03:40,625 --> 00:03:42,333
[man] Steph! Seth is here!
64
00:03:42,416 --> 00:03:44,458
Uh, yep, yep. Coming, coming.
65
00:03:45,166 --> 00:03:50,000
♪ Singing the song we wrote
About a girl you used to know ♪
66
00:03:50,083 --> 00:03:52,416
["Sk8er Boi" by Avril Lavigne ends]
67
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:53,500
Mmm.
68
00:03:53,583 --> 00:03:56,291
Yeah, this… this
is really good, Mr. Conway.
69
00:03:56,833 --> 00:03:58,125
It's cereal, Seth.
70
00:03:58,208 --> 00:04:00,666
Stephie, let's move it!
71
00:04:00,750 --> 00:04:04,750
[inhales deeply] So, are you going to ask
my daughter to the prom or not?
72
00:04:05,625 --> 00:04:06,625
Me? [chuckles]
73
00:04:06,708 --> 00:04:09,416
What? No, I don't know
what you're talking about.
74
00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:13,208
You drive here every morning
just so Stephie can drive you to school.
75
00:04:13,291 --> 00:04:15,333
-You think I'm an idiot?
-No, sir.
76
00:04:15,833 --> 00:04:19,750
It's really hard to find the right time.
And what about Blaine?
77
00:04:19,833 --> 00:04:20,958
[Steph] Hey!
78
00:04:21,041 --> 00:04:23,708
Oh my God, Seth, did you Fatone your hair?
79
00:04:23,791 --> 00:04:25,583
It looks so good!
80
00:04:25,666 --> 00:04:27,791
Dad, you didn't have to cook breakfast.
81
00:04:27,875 --> 00:04:29,125
You're about to graduate.
82
00:04:29,208 --> 00:04:31,791
We're not gonna have too many more
of these breakfast opportunities.
83
00:04:31,875 --> 00:04:34,125
-Yeah.
-Grateful to be included, sir.
84
00:04:34,208 --> 00:04:36,291
Um, can we actually rain check?
85
00:04:36,375 --> 00:04:39,291
I'm on a diet of only bananas
and ice cubes till prom.
86
00:04:39,375 --> 00:04:41,750
Oh! Speaking of… [clears throat]
87
00:04:43,583 --> 00:04:45,958
I've been, uh, waiting to give you this.
88
00:04:50,333 --> 00:04:51,666
[dramatic music plays]
89
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:54,708
"I know you'll look beautiful in this.
Love, Mum."
90
00:04:56,958 --> 00:04:58,375
Oh my God. [chuckles]
91
00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:09,791
It's gorgeous.
92
00:05:15,458 --> 00:05:17,375
You know, Dad, um,
93
00:05:17,458 --> 00:05:20,083
I saw at the mall
in that empty store next to Wet Seal
94
00:05:20,166 --> 00:05:23,458
that they were holding, like, groups
for widows and widowers.
95
00:05:23,541 --> 00:05:24,916
Looked pretty jumping.
96
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:28,250
You're a catch, Mr. Conway.
A sad woman would totally go out with you.
97
00:05:28,875 --> 00:05:32,583
I'll tell you what, I'll ask somebody out
when you do, Seth.
98
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:33,875
[chuckles] Yeah.
99
00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:35,791
[Steph] Did you hear
Tiffany went behind my back
100
00:05:35,875 --> 00:05:37,166
and got the Activities Committee
101
00:05:37,250 --> 00:05:40,875
to make the prom king and queen song
"Wherever You Will Go" by The Calling?
102
00:05:40,958 --> 00:05:44,833
Uh, no. You know, that piece of gossip
hasn't really trickled down to me yet.
103
00:05:44,916 --> 00:05:47,666
[sighs] Well, when it gets to you,
believe it.
104
00:05:48,166 --> 00:05:49,708
[scoffs] She's doing it to mess with me.
105
00:05:49,791 --> 00:05:52,916
She knows I want a classic,
like "Power of Love."
106
00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:56,666
I'm not going to go to my prom,
get my crown, get glitter-rained on
107
00:05:56,750 --> 00:05:59,375
and then dance to
"Wherever You Will F-ing--" [gasps]
108
00:06:00,333 --> 00:06:02,083
-[tires squealing]
-Ooh! Ow!
109
00:06:03,458 --> 00:06:04,500
There she is,
110
00:06:05,375 --> 00:06:06,708
Deanna Russo,
111
00:06:06,791 --> 00:06:10,208
Harding High cheer captain
and prom queen '95.
112
00:06:10,291 --> 00:06:11,833
Bangin' bod.
113
00:06:11,916 --> 00:06:15,041
She's boy-band rich and lives
in the most beautiful house in Maryland
114
00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:17,333
with her… Three, two, one…
115
00:06:17,416 --> 00:06:19,041
[gasps]
116
00:06:19,125 --> 00:06:20,750
…perfect husband,
117
00:06:20,833 --> 00:06:24,541
Harding High quarterback
with a famously girthy dong.
118
00:06:24,625 --> 00:06:25,583
So I've heard.
119
00:06:26,875 --> 00:06:28,791
They're just like me and Blaine.
120
00:06:29,458 --> 00:06:32,708
I want it so bad
I can practically taste them frenching.
121
00:06:33,666 --> 00:06:35,000
It's my dream life.
122
00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:37,916
And it all starts with prom queen.
123
00:06:38,625 --> 00:06:41,500
[Seth] Well, I think you're better
than just another Deanna Russo.
124
00:06:42,125 --> 00:06:43,250
Oh my God, Seth…
125
00:06:43,958 --> 00:06:47,166
Oh my God. [inhales sharply]
Your forehead's bleeding.
126
00:06:48,166 --> 00:06:49,000
Oh.
127
00:06:49,083 --> 00:06:51,208
[indistinct chattering, laughing]
128
00:06:54,916 --> 00:06:55,791
Sure you're okay?
129
00:06:55,875 --> 00:06:57,000
Oh, yeah, I'm good.
130
00:06:58,416 --> 00:07:00,541
[sighs] Hey, so you know
prom is coming up,
131
00:07:00,625 --> 00:07:03,125
and I really wanted to ask you something.
132
00:07:03,208 --> 00:07:04,708
I know it's a long shot, but--
133
00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:08,083
Seth, you don't even have
to finish the question.
134
00:07:08,166 --> 00:07:11,750
-The answer's yes.
-Wait, really? What about Blaine?
135
00:07:11,833 --> 00:07:15,458
Ah, he'll understand. It wouldn't feel
right to spend prom without you.
136
00:07:16,041 --> 00:07:16,916
Seth,
137
00:07:17,791 --> 00:07:21,583
I would love for you to come
to my after-prom party.
138
00:07:22,791 --> 00:07:25,416
Oh, wow. Yeah, cool. [chuckles]
139
00:07:25,500 --> 00:07:28,250
-Thanks, Steph.
-Oh my God. Duh, no prob.
140
00:07:28,333 --> 00:07:30,333
Oh, also, there's gonna be a VIP room,
141
00:07:30,416 --> 00:07:32,916
and you're totally gonna be on the list.
I mean it.
142
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:33,833
Fun. [chuckles]
143
00:07:33,916 --> 00:07:37,625
Okay, um, I'm gonna let you out here
because I got to make my entrance.
144
00:07:37,708 --> 00:07:40,666
Oh, also, I need that sock back.
It's Blaine's.
145
00:07:41,291 --> 00:07:42,875
We use it for handies.
146
00:07:42,958 --> 00:07:44,958
["She's So High" by Tal Bachman plays]
147
00:07:47,625 --> 00:07:50,125
Oh, okay, yeah. That's… that's gross.
148
00:07:51,958 --> 00:07:53,208
[car engine starts]
149
00:07:53,291 --> 00:07:54,541
-Bye!
-Bye!
150
00:07:54,625 --> 00:07:57,416
♪ I know where I belong ♪
151
00:07:57,500 --> 00:07:59,583
♪ And nothing's gonna happen ♪
152
00:07:59,666 --> 00:08:01,416
♪ Yeah ♪
153
00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:07,125
♪ 'Cause she's so high ♪
154
00:08:07,208 --> 00:08:09,166
♪ High above me ♪
155
00:08:09,250 --> 00:08:11,416
♪ She's so lovely ♪
156
00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:14,958
♪ She's so high ♪
157
00:08:15,041 --> 00:08:17,125
♪ Like Cleopatra ♪
158
00:08:17,208 --> 00:08:20,458
♪ Joan of Arc or Aphrodi-- ♪
159
00:08:20,541 --> 00:08:22,250
-[grunts, laughs]
-[laughs] Oh my God!
160
00:08:22,333 --> 00:08:24,500
I was wondering
where the future prom queen was.
161
00:08:24,583 --> 00:08:27,125
Just thinking about my life
with the future prom king.
162
00:08:27,208 --> 00:08:28,083
[chuckles]
163
00:08:28,166 --> 00:08:30,458
I'm gonna miss you so much
these next two periods.
164
00:08:30,541 --> 00:08:31,375
Yeah?
165
00:08:31,875 --> 00:08:35,000
Let me give you a little something
to remember me by. Boop, boop!
166
00:08:35,083 --> 00:08:37,916
Oh my God, Blaine, stop.
That's so embarrassing.
167
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,666
Oh my God, he's so into me. What?
168
00:08:40,750 --> 00:08:43,666
Oh my God. Did anyone see that? Bye.
169
00:08:43,750 --> 00:08:45,666
Ew. He shouldn't do that to you.
170
00:08:45,750 --> 00:08:48,875
[scoffs] It's called love, Marth.
That's what couples do.
171
00:08:48,958 --> 00:08:51,291
When you get a boyfriend,
you'll understand.
172
00:08:51,375 --> 00:08:52,708
Yeah, I'll pass.
173
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,125
-Here.
-[gasps]
174
00:08:55,208 --> 00:08:56,750
Don't lose these. I'm serious.
175
00:08:56,833 --> 00:08:59,666
If my parents find out I gave you
the keys to our lake house for a party,
176
00:08:59,750 --> 00:09:02,375
they'll ship me off to a convent
before I even make it to Wesleyan.
177
00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:05,083
-[Steph laughs]
-My grandfather built that with his hands.
178
00:09:05,166 --> 00:09:06,000
If anything happens--
179
00:09:06,083 --> 00:09:09,458
Oh my God, I promise you have nothing
to worry about. You're the best.
180
00:09:09,541 --> 00:09:12,458
Thank you so much, Marth.
You know you're invited, right?
181
00:09:12,958 --> 00:09:15,791
Did you just invite me
to a party that's at my own house?
182
00:09:15,875 --> 00:09:18,458
Of course not.
I'm inviting you to the VIP section.
183
00:09:18,541 --> 00:09:20,916
Seth will be there too.
So you'll have someone to talk to.
184
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,500
Right. I could also talk to you.
185
00:09:24,125 --> 00:09:26,708
[hesitates] Right, yeah, duh.
186
00:09:26,791 --> 00:09:30,416
Um, except I'm probably gonna be losing
my bottom half virginity to Blaine.
187
00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:31,875
So I'll be, like, in and out.
188
00:09:32,833 --> 00:09:35,541
So will Blaine, literally.
You know what I mean?
189
00:09:35,625 --> 00:09:38,666
Also, Martha, it's pep rally day.
Why aren't you in your cheer uniform?
190
00:09:39,291 --> 00:09:40,291
[sighs]
191
00:09:40,375 --> 00:09:42,208
[gasps] Oh my God.
192
00:09:42,291 --> 00:09:44,833
You look so hot right now.
193
00:09:44,916 --> 00:09:46,958
-You look so great.
-Okay. Yeah.
194
00:09:47,041 --> 00:09:49,166
-Okay. I'll see you later. Bye!
-Bye.
195
00:09:50,625 --> 00:09:52,375
[Blaine panting]
196
00:09:53,166 --> 00:09:57,166
So, I've been telling everyone
about the VIP section at our party,
197
00:09:57,250 --> 00:09:59,291
but here's a little secret.
198
00:09:59,791 --> 00:10:04,208
There's gonna be
a VIP VIP section just for us.
199
00:10:04,291 --> 00:10:05,500
[chuckles awkwardly]
200
00:10:05,583 --> 00:10:07,125
For boning.
201
00:10:07,208 --> 00:10:08,333
[both chuckle]
202
00:10:09,250 --> 00:10:11,416
Mmm, so, uh, about that,
203
00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:15,583
um, most of the football team's already
said yes to going to a different party.
204
00:10:15,666 --> 00:10:17,791
But this one has
a heated pool and a live band.
205
00:10:17,875 --> 00:10:19,958
What? Whose party?
206
00:10:20,541 --> 00:10:22,833
Tiff's. But we could bone there,
if you want.
207
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:27,833
What the slut?
208
00:10:27,916 --> 00:10:30,000
[man] Get back to your seat, Miss Conway.
209
00:10:30,083 --> 00:10:34,583
I would like to start my class
before the next millennium hits.
210
00:10:34,666 --> 00:10:35,875
[Steph scoffs]
211
00:10:35,958 --> 00:10:38,375
-Can I go to the bathroom?
-Fine.
212
00:10:38,458 --> 00:10:39,791
Dex, wait.
213
00:10:45,333 --> 00:10:47,458
Get this to Tiffany,
214
00:10:48,708 --> 00:10:49,541
now.
215
00:10:50,666 --> 00:10:52,666
Would you turn your books to the…
216
00:10:52,750 --> 00:10:54,083
[screams]
217
00:10:55,583 --> 00:10:56,958
[sighs]
218
00:10:57,041 --> 00:10:59,041
[suspenseful music plays]
219
00:11:01,625 --> 00:11:03,083
Got your note.
220
00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:05,375
[chuckles]
221
00:11:05,458 --> 00:11:09,958
For the last time, Tiffany,
I won cheer captain fair and square,
222
00:11:10,041 --> 00:11:13,875
and you and Blaine were broken up
when we got together. I don't cheat.
223
00:11:13,958 --> 00:11:19,083
So why do you continue
to be the butt-roids on my… butt?
224
00:11:19,166 --> 00:11:21,041
I don't know what you're talking about.
225
00:11:21,125 --> 00:11:23,625
[sighs] First, you changed
the prom king and queen song.
226
00:11:23,708 --> 00:11:25,291
Now you're throwing an after-prom party
227
00:11:25,375 --> 00:11:27,666
when you know
I've been planning mine for months.
228
00:11:27,750 --> 00:11:30,166
You mean the one you have to throw
at Barfa's family lake house
229
00:11:30,250 --> 00:11:31,416
'cause you live in a shanty.
230
00:11:32,875 --> 00:11:34,083
Her name is Martha,
231
00:11:34,166 --> 00:11:37,375
and she hasn't thrown up on herself
since the eighth grade, so…
232
00:11:38,625 --> 00:11:40,291
-Cancel your party!
-[Tiffany] Sorry.
233
00:11:40,375 --> 00:11:43,000
My daddy has already paid
for the caterers.
234
00:11:43,083 --> 00:11:47,791
Open bar, Jäger,
Mike's Hard Lemonade, Smirnoff Ice.
235
00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:50,208
All the good shit.
236
00:11:50,875 --> 00:11:53,833
So, you cancel yours.
237
00:11:53,916 --> 00:11:56,541
You won't wanna throw a party
after I beat you for prom queen.
238
00:11:57,958 --> 00:11:59,916
[sighs] What makes you think
you're gonna win?
239
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,375
'Cause I'm MTV, and you're VH1.
240
00:12:02,458 --> 00:12:04,791
I'm the real deal, and you're a poser.
241
00:12:04,875 --> 00:12:08,625
You think you can shimmy your koala ass
to the top of the food chain I created
242
00:12:08,708 --> 00:12:10,500
and screw up my senior year?
243
00:12:10,583 --> 00:12:13,125
You're just a poor spaz playing dress up.
244
00:12:15,041 --> 00:12:16,750
Don't go chasing waterfalls.
245
00:12:19,500 --> 00:12:22,041
Take that back.
246
00:12:22,125 --> 00:12:24,000
[tense music plays]
247
00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:26,666
[door closes]
248
00:12:28,333 --> 00:12:31,333
-[sighs]
-[Blaine] Freshmen suck!
249
00:12:31,416 --> 00:12:33,875
-Freshmen suck!
-[crowd] Freshmen suck!
250
00:12:33,958 --> 00:12:35,666
-Freshman suck!
-Settle down.
251
00:12:36,458 --> 00:12:38,750
Blaine, settle down. Settle down.
252
00:12:39,291 --> 00:12:40,125
Listen.
253
00:12:40,666 --> 00:12:44,875
We have less than a month of school left.
Let's all just get through it.
254
00:12:45,458 --> 00:12:47,333
-Now I know you all…
-[Steph] All right, sluts.
255
00:12:47,416 --> 00:12:49,291
Everybody, listen up.
256
00:12:49,375 --> 00:12:51,166
Listen to Martha.
257
00:12:51,250 --> 00:12:53,500
Just a couple notes
before we get out there.
258
00:12:53,583 --> 00:12:54,958
We replaced the spotlight operators
259
00:12:55,041 --> 00:12:56,833
with kids tall enough
to see what's going on.
260
00:12:56,916 --> 00:12:59,791
Try not to hit the ground too hard
so our CD doesn't skip.
261
00:12:59,875 --> 00:13:00,833
"Our CD"?
262
00:13:00,916 --> 00:13:05,916
I'm sorry, since when does a clipboard
and a windbreaker make you a Bulldogette?
263
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:09,083
Since I appointed her
equipment manager, Tiffany.
264
00:13:09,166 --> 00:13:11,291
Do you have any idea
how much she does for us?
265
00:13:11,375 --> 00:13:14,000
Without her, we'd fall apart.
Whereas without you, Tiff,
266
00:13:14,083 --> 00:13:16,958
we'd, I don't know,
have less stains on our uniform
267
00:13:17,041 --> 00:13:20,041
-from catching your spray-tanned ass.
-[girls mumble]
268
00:13:20,125 --> 00:13:21,125
Continue, Marth.
269
00:13:21,208 --> 00:13:22,708
Oh, I was done.
270
00:13:23,291 --> 00:13:24,208
Oh.
271
00:13:24,291 --> 00:13:27,625
All right, biatches. When I started
choreographing this routine,
272
00:13:27,708 --> 00:13:30,875
I knew it had to be more
than just a regular cheer,
273
00:13:30,958 --> 00:13:34,458
which is why I made this,
274
00:13:34,541 --> 00:13:36,750
a step-by-step guide to our routine
275
00:13:36,833 --> 00:13:41,541
so that future squads will be able
to replicate our VMA-level performance.
276
00:13:41,625 --> 00:13:42,458
[sighs]
277
00:13:42,541 --> 00:13:46,041
Martha, please see
that this gets into the school archives
278
00:13:46,125 --> 00:13:48,083
so that our legends will live on.
279
00:13:49,083 --> 00:13:51,458
-Do we have a school archive?
-We do now.
280
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,666
All right, places, skanks!
281
00:13:55,041 --> 00:13:56,166
Twins?
282
00:13:56,958 --> 00:13:57,875
Can we talk?
283
00:13:57,958 --> 00:14:00,250
And speaking of "not school appropriate,"
284
00:14:00,333 --> 00:14:04,833
please welcome
our award-winning Harding Bulldogettes.
285
00:14:04,916 --> 00:14:07,291
[crowd cheers]
286
00:14:08,041 --> 00:14:09,000
♪ Are you ready ♪
287
00:14:09,833 --> 00:14:11,291
♪ For the Harding ♪
288
00:14:12,916 --> 00:14:15,541
-♪ Bulldogettes? ♪
-That's my girl!
289
00:14:15,625 --> 00:14:17,000
[cheers]
290
00:14:17,833 --> 00:14:19,583
♪ Good gracious, ass is bodacious ♪
291
00:14:19,666 --> 00:14:21,250
♪ Flirtatious, trying to show patience ♪
292
00:14:21,333 --> 00:14:23,125
♪ And can't nobody stop the juice ♪
293
00:14:23,208 --> 00:14:25,208
♪ So, baby, tell me what's the use
I said ♪
294
00:14:25,291 --> 00:14:27,625
-♪ It's gettin' hot in here ♪
-♪ So hot ♪
295
00:14:27,708 --> 00:14:29,333
♪ So take off all your clothes ♪
296
00:14:29,416 --> 00:14:33,250
♪ I am gettin' so hot
I wanna take my clothes off ♪
297
00:14:33,333 --> 00:14:35,291
-♪ It's gettin' hot in here ♪
-♪ So hot ♪
298
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:36,916
♪ So take off all your clothes ♪
299
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:40,541
♪ I am gettin' so hot
I wanna take my clothes off ♪
300
00:14:40,625 --> 00:14:44,166
["Hot in Herre" by Nelly slows down]
301
00:14:44,916 --> 00:14:48,125
♪ Come on over, come on over, baby ♪
302
00:14:48,208 --> 00:14:50,041
-Yeah!
-♪ Come on over ♪
303
00:14:50,125 --> 00:14:51,750
♪ Come on over, over, over ♪
304
00:14:51,833 --> 00:14:54,041
♪ Baby, baby, baby ♪
305
00:14:54,125 --> 00:14:55,625
[drum music plays]
306
00:14:55,708 --> 00:14:57,041
-Ready?
-[cheerleaders] Okay!
307
00:14:57,125 --> 00:15:00,750
♪ We are the Bulldogs
We like it rough, rough, rough ♪
308
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:03,916
♪ No one can beat us
No, we're too tough ♪
309
00:15:04,583 --> 00:15:09,291
♪ Yeah, yeah, we fight to the finish
We're in it to win it ♪
310
00:15:09,375 --> 00:15:12,375
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
311
00:15:12,958 --> 00:15:14,458
♪ Like this ♪
312
00:15:14,541 --> 00:15:18,166
♪ Some people search forever ♪
313
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:21,375
♪ For that one special kiss ♪
314
00:15:21,458 --> 00:15:27,375
♪ Oh, I can't believe
It's happening to me ♪
315
00:15:27,458 --> 00:15:31,291
♪ Some people wait a lifetime ♪
316
00:15:31,375 --> 00:15:33,083
♪ For a moment ♪
317
00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:36,291
♪ Moment, moment, moment ♪
318
00:15:36,375 --> 00:15:39,791
-♪ Moment, moment, moment… ♪
-[crowd gasps]
319
00:15:49,958 --> 00:15:51,791
[man] Who wants to forget
the good old days?
320
00:15:51,875 --> 00:15:53,166
No one.
321
00:15:53,250 --> 00:15:54,583
That's why, at Balbo Hummers,
322
00:15:54,666 --> 00:15:57,666
we've got the sweetest rides
for the sweetest prices.
323
00:15:57,750 --> 00:16:00,458
Oh! And hey,
all you high school seniors out there,
324
00:16:00,541 --> 00:16:03,125
who doesn't want a Hummer
on their big night. Am I right?
325
00:16:03,208 --> 00:16:08,291
That's right. Balbo Hummers is renting out
stretch limos for all of your prom needs.
326
00:16:08,375 --> 00:16:10,458
[women] ♪ Come get a Hummer from Balbo ♪
327
00:16:10,541 --> 00:16:14,333
Balbo Hummers.
We're ready for prom. Are you?
328
00:16:15,875 --> 00:16:17,250
I'm ready for prom.
329
00:16:17,875 --> 00:16:19,666
[heart monitor beeping]
330
00:16:29,375 --> 00:16:30,458
What the slut?
331
00:16:36,416 --> 00:16:37,333
[loud thump]
332
00:16:38,208 --> 00:16:39,958
Oh, hi.
333
00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:42,375
Hi. Hello. Hi.
334
00:16:42,458 --> 00:16:44,666
Excuse me. Um, I'm not sure what happened,
335
00:16:44,750 --> 00:16:48,166
but I think there's been a mistake,
and I've been put in the wrong room
336
00:16:48,250 --> 00:16:52,166
'cause there's a bunch of birthday cards
for, like, a really old person.
337
00:16:52,250 --> 00:16:54,708
And the TV's flat,
like the back of it is missing,
338
00:16:54,791 --> 00:16:57,166
and I really need to see
who's number one on TRL.
339
00:16:57,250 --> 00:17:00,250
Dr. Johnson to the third floor.
The cheerleader just woke up.
340
00:17:00,333 --> 00:17:03,583
Oh, I don't mean to be a bitch,
but "cheer captain."
341
00:17:04,083 --> 00:17:05,166
Cheer captain.
342
00:17:05,250 --> 00:17:09,333
And do you have any Von Dutch jeans?
'Cause this is, like, really unflattering.
343
00:17:09,416 --> 00:17:10,416
Oh crap.
344
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,125
What are you staring at?
345
00:17:13,791 --> 00:17:16,958
Hello? It's very rude to be a stare bear.
346
00:17:17,041 --> 00:17:18,208
[tense music plays]
347
00:17:18,291 --> 00:17:21,333
Hello? Are you-- Stop… stop doing that!
348
00:17:21,416 --> 00:17:23,250
Why are you doing that, you freaky old--
349
00:17:23,333 --> 00:17:24,375
[tense music plays]
350
00:17:31,875 --> 00:17:33,291
-[loud thump]
-[gasps]
351
00:17:33,791 --> 00:17:35,416
And the cheerleader's back down.
352
00:17:35,916 --> 00:17:38,125
Oh, cheer captain. Are you okay?
353
00:17:38,208 --> 00:17:39,583
[finger taps]
354
00:17:39,666 --> 00:17:41,750
This defies scientific explanation.
355
00:17:41,833 --> 00:17:42,916
Being this hot?
356
00:17:43,833 --> 00:17:44,666
No.
357
00:17:44,750 --> 00:17:46,916
[sighs] Stephanie, it's 2022.
358
00:17:49,250 --> 00:17:50,375
No way. [laughs]
359
00:17:50,458 --> 00:17:51,500
Mm-hmm.
360
00:17:51,583 --> 00:17:54,750
Are you sure I haven't been
Freaky Friday'd into some old lady's body?
361
00:17:54,833 --> 00:17:57,541
You've been in a coma
for almost two decades.
362
00:17:58,916 --> 00:18:00,583
That doesn't sound right.
363
00:18:00,666 --> 00:18:03,916
I know this is a lot to process,
but we'll just take this nice and slow.
364
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,125
-[dad] Stephie?
-[woman] Stephanie!
365
00:18:05,208 --> 00:18:06,291
-Oh my God.
-[woman] Stephanie!
366
00:18:06,375 --> 00:18:09,875
Stephie, I can't believe this!
It's me. It's Dad!
367
00:18:09,958 --> 00:18:10,833
[dad and woman laugh]
368
00:18:10,916 --> 00:18:14,208
[woman squeals] Oh my God!
369
00:18:14,291 --> 00:18:15,666
-Dad?
-Yeah!
370
00:18:15,750 --> 00:18:19,333
How about me? Do you remember?
It's Martha, Martha Riser. [chuckles]
371
00:18:19,416 --> 00:18:21,166
[dad] I never thought
I'd have this moment again.
372
00:18:21,250 --> 00:18:23,250
I was this close to freezing you.
373
00:18:23,333 --> 00:18:24,208
What do you mean, Dad?
374
00:18:24,291 --> 00:18:27,333
Don't worry. I couldn't afford it.
I was only gonna freeze your head.
375
00:18:27,416 --> 00:18:29,541
-[Martha] No!
-[doctor] We'll have to be gentle.
376
00:18:29,625 --> 00:18:32,000
Physically she's aged,
but mentally she's still 17.
377
00:18:32,083 --> 00:18:34,625
Of course. Yes, I see
how we came in a little hot.
378
00:18:34,708 --> 00:18:35,541
[dad] Yeah.
379
00:18:35,625 --> 00:18:38,500
Martha, you look like
an Ally McBeal character.
380
00:18:38,583 --> 00:18:40,250
Oh my God. Thank you.
381
00:18:40,750 --> 00:18:44,000
Well, the good news is
nothing abnormal came up in her tests.
382
00:18:44,083 --> 00:18:47,708
Stephanie, your physical
and mental resilience are remarkable.
383
00:18:47,791 --> 00:18:48,958
Uh, let… let's go home.
384
00:18:49,041 --> 00:18:50,125
[Martha laughs]
385
00:18:50,208 --> 00:18:51,875
[upbeat music plays]
386
00:18:56,166 --> 00:18:59,166
Marth, oh my God, what is that, a tiny TV?
387
00:18:59,250 --> 00:19:02,250
[laughs] No. No, Steph,
this is my cell phone.
388
00:19:02,333 --> 00:19:04,875
Oh my God. Whoa! Really?
389
00:19:04,958 --> 00:19:07,125
-That is very cool.
-[laughs]
390
00:19:07,208 --> 00:19:10,625
I always knew you'd be some high-powered,
Sex and the City businesswoman.
391
00:19:10,708 --> 00:19:12,625
-Total Miranda, right, Dad?
-Oh…
392
00:19:12,708 --> 00:19:13,541
[dad chuckles]
393
00:19:13,625 --> 00:19:17,250
I'm actually
a high school principal at Harding.
394
00:19:17,333 --> 00:19:21,416
[laughs] Oh my God, you still got
a good sense of humor.
395
00:19:22,041 --> 00:19:23,750
[laughs]
396
00:19:26,458 --> 00:19:32,291
That's… I mean, that's actually
a very cool and important job.
397
00:19:32,375 --> 00:19:35,000
-So, whoo!
-[Martha] Mm-hmm. [chuckles]
398
00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:38,041
Um, and they give you
a fancy cell phone for that?
399
00:19:38,125 --> 00:19:40,000
Oh, they're common now. Even I have one.
400
00:19:40,083 --> 00:19:40,916
Oh. Okay. [chuckles]
401
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:44,208
They do much more than just call people.
You could also watch the news.
402
00:19:44,291 --> 00:19:46,875
Look, here's a news story
about you right now.
403
00:19:46,958 --> 00:19:50,791
-What? No. Oh, about me? No, oh my God.
-Yeah, it's you!
404
00:19:50,875 --> 00:19:52,000
Okay, wait, show me.
405
00:19:52,083 --> 00:19:56,416
[man] Video edits of her infamous accident
went immediately viral on Instagram…
406
00:19:56,500 --> 00:20:00,041
Oh my God.
I went down like a bag of dicks.
407
00:20:00,791 --> 00:20:01,875
Oh.
408
00:20:01,958 --> 00:20:03,458
-Stephie!
-Wait. What does "viral" mean?
409
00:20:03,541 --> 00:20:06,875
Well, "viral" just means everybody saw it.
410
00:20:06,958 --> 00:20:09,583
Everybody's seen that?
I look retarded in those videos.
411
00:20:09,666 --> 00:20:12,666
Now, Steph,
you… you cannot say the R-word anymore.
412
00:20:12,750 --> 00:20:14,375
-What? Really? Why?
-[Martha] Mm-mm.
413
00:20:14,458 --> 00:20:17,291
Because it's offensive
to people with intellectual disabilities.
414
00:20:17,375 --> 00:20:20,958
But what if something
really is, like, "R-word,"
415
00:20:21,750 --> 00:20:24,666
um, what do you call it?
Like, "super gay"?
416
00:20:24,750 --> 00:20:28,458
No, no. You can't call things "gay"
anymore, either,
417
00:20:28,541 --> 00:20:31,958
unless you use it
as a neutral-positive term
418
00:20:32,041 --> 00:20:34,625
to refer to somebody
who identifies as homosexual.
419
00:20:34,708 --> 00:20:37,500
-So you cannot say the "R-word."
-[Martha] Right.
420
00:20:37,583 --> 00:20:38,541
And, um…
421
00:20:38,625 --> 00:20:39,958
[moans] Sorry. Coma brain.
422
00:20:40,041 --> 00:20:42,083
-What was the other word you can't say?
-"Gay."
423
00:20:42,166 --> 00:20:43,291
Ha! Made you say it.
424
00:20:43,375 --> 00:20:45,541
-[laughing]
-[sighs exasperatedly]
425
00:20:45,625 --> 00:20:47,041
-Stephie.
-I-- That's…
426
00:20:47,125 --> 00:20:48,791
-Still got it, Dad.
-You do.
427
00:20:48,875 --> 00:20:51,416
Dad, um, can you take a left up here?
428
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:52,625
-Oh.
-To see--
429
00:20:52,708 --> 00:20:56,291
No, no, no. No, um,
actually, you should get home and rest.
430
00:20:56,375 --> 00:20:58,833
Rest? I've been asleep for 20 years.
431
00:20:58,916 --> 00:21:01,458
-Dad, just take this left here.
-Jim, don't take the left.
432
00:21:01,541 --> 00:21:03,083
Is there-- I don't understand…
433
00:21:03,166 --> 00:21:05,291
-Indicator. Indicate left.
-Do not. Do not.
434
00:21:06,291 --> 00:21:09,750
-[Steph] Thank God, it's still the same.
-Yep. There it is. Let's keep going.
435
00:21:10,291 --> 00:21:11,916
[Steph] That's not Deanna Russo's husband.
436
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,375
-Who is that?
-[Martha] Um…
437
00:21:13,458 --> 00:21:16,541
Oh my God.
I know that ass anywhere. That's Blaine.
438
00:21:16,625 --> 00:21:20,916
Wait. Did he get me my dream house?
Stop the car! Why didn't you say anything?
439
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,916
-Don't stop the car.
-What are you talking about? Stop the car!
440
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:25,916
Don't stop the car.
No. He's probably sleeping.
441
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,125
-He walked into the house.
-You don't wanna wake him.
442
00:21:28,208 --> 00:21:29,291
He looked tired!
443
00:21:29,375 --> 00:21:32,041
-I don't know what to do. Ah!
-Just stop the car!
444
00:21:32,125 --> 00:21:33,333
-[screams]
-[Martha] No!
445
00:21:33,416 --> 00:21:34,625
[Steph grunts]
446
00:21:35,416 --> 00:21:37,416
[panting]
447
00:21:51,750 --> 00:21:53,083
Oh. You know what?
448
00:21:53,166 --> 00:21:55,666
Someone from the shelter
already came by yesterday
449
00:21:55,750 --> 00:21:59,208
to pick up our donations, so…
Thank you though.
450
00:21:59,291 --> 00:22:00,291
Tiffany?
451
00:22:01,458 --> 00:22:04,041
Shut up!
452
00:22:04,708 --> 00:22:06,083
Stephanie?
453
00:22:06,166 --> 00:22:09,916
-Oh my God, look at you!
-[groans]
454
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,666
-I can't believe this.
-What is happening?
455
00:22:12,750 --> 00:22:15,208
I have so many things I… I want to say.
456
00:22:15,291 --> 00:22:17,916
I've always felt terrible
about what happened.
457
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,500
I can't believe
you didn't land that stunt.
458
00:22:20,583 --> 00:22:24,333
Wait, why are you living here with Blaine?
I don't get it. [chuckles]
459
00:22:24,416 --> 00:22:26,375
This is mine and Blaine's dream house, so…
460
00:22:26,458 --> 00:22:29,041
-Well, actually--
-Why are you here?
461
00:22:29,125 --> 00:22:30,625
It's a long story.
462
00:22:30,708 --> 00:22:33,625
Our parents got it for us
as a wedding gift and…
463
00:22:33,708 --> 00:22:36,250
Well, that's it. The end. [chuckles]
464
00:22:36,333 --> 00:22:37,791
No, you shut your face.
465
00:22:37,875 --> 00:22:41,000
Um, where's Blaine? [chuckles]
Just get me Blaine, and, um--
466
00:22:41,083 --> 00:22:44,041
I'm so sorry.
He is just so swamped right now with work.
467
00:22:44,125 --> 00:22:45,000
Oh.
468
00:22:45,500 --> 00:22:46,916
I see what you did here.
469
00:22:47,625 --> 00:22:50,041
Get rid of me
so you can steal my dream life.
470
00:22:50,125 --> 00:22:52,000
Oh… [chuckles]
471
00:22:52,708 --> 00:22:53,791
Steph.
472
00:22:53,875 --> 00:22:55,333
-No, no.
-[grumbles]
473
00:22:55,416 --> 00:22:58,041
Look, I know
we never saw eye-to-eye back then,
474
00:22:58,125 --> 00:23:01,083
but you know, the beautiful thing
about time is you move on.
475
00:23:01,166 --> 00:23:02,083
[groans]
476
00:23:02,166 --> 00:23:07,291
Okay, you know what? I need to go
because I am brining zucchini ribbons,
477
00:23:07,375 --> 00:23:10,041
but I never let a guest leave
without a gift.
478
00:23:10,125 --> 00:23:13,041
Um, so I'm just gonna give you…
479
00:23:13,125 --> 00:23:14,250
-[Steph] What?
-Here.
480
00:23:14,333 --> 00:23:17,208
Homemade from my own starter.
A peace offering.
481
00:23:17,291 --> 00:23:21,166
I really look forward
to putting the past behind us.
482
00:23:21,750 --> 00:23:25,208
You know, move past the past.
483
00:23:26,041 --> 00:23:29,625
So, maybe when you're feeling better
and a little bit more stable,
484
00:23:29,708 --> 00:23:31,125
we could do brunch sometime.
485
00:23:31,208 --> 00:23:33,041
-Blaine!
-It's great to see you!
486
00:23:33,125 --> 00:23:34,125
[Steph] Blaine!
487
00:23:36,208 --> 00:23:39,375
-[video game sound effects play]
-Come on, come on, come on, come on.
488
00:23:41,458 --> 00:23:42,833
Who's that at the door?
489
00:23:42,916 --> 00:23:46,333
It was… Stephanie Conway.
490
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:51,041
She's awake?
491
00:23:57,083 --> 00:23:58,125
Ah, yes.
492
00:24:00,833 --> 00:24:02,541
Perfectly preserved.
493
00:24:04,458 --> 00:24:06,916
-[scooter honks]
-[Jim] And here we are.
494
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:09,458
[Martha] Oh!
Did she not wear her seat belt?
495
00:24:09,541 --> 00:24:10,791
[Jim] I don't think she did.
496
00:24:10,875 --> 00:24:12,375
-[Martha] Oh God.
-[Jim grunts]
497
00:24:12,458 --> 00:24:14,791
-It's locked, hon.
-Dad!
498
00:24:14,875 --> 00:24:16,541
[Jim] Here we are. Yeah.
499
00:24:16,625 --> 00:24:17,458
Hey, S…
500
00:24:17,541 --> 00:24:18,708
[Jim chuckles]
501
00:24:19,791 --> 00:24:20,625
[Jim] She's…
502
00:24:20,708 --> 00:24:22,500
[pants]
503
00:24:24,208 --> 00:24:26,208
[emotional music plays]
504
00:24:28,458 --> 00:24:30,166
Oh my God.
505
00:24:31,041 --> 00:24:33,000
Didn't have the heart to change it.
506
00:24:33,083 --> 00:24:37,458
Kept your Cabriolet too. You know me,
never very good at letting things go.
507
00:24:38,041 --> 00:24:39,041
[kisses]
508
00:24:39,125 --> 00:24:40,166
[both chuckle]
509
00:24:45,458 --> 00:24:48,958
I… I also never, uh, canceled
any of your magazine subscriptions.
510
00:24:49,041 --> 00:24:52,083
Wait, Madonna's now called Lady Gaga?
511
00:24:52,166 --> 00:24:53,375
[chuckles]
512
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:54,833
-No.
-No.
513
00:24:54,916 --> 00:24:58,208
-But she looks exactly like Madonna.
-You've had a lot to digest today.
514
00:24:58,291 --> 00:24:59,833
We'll get you caught up this weekend.
515
00:25:01,750 --> 00:25:02,833
[Steph] Dad!
516
00:25:06,458 --> 00:25:08,875
Dad. What the F?
517
00:25:09,458 --> 00:25:12,708
Who was in charge of my feeding tube?
My boobs are huge.
518
00:25:13,541 --> 00:25:16,000
Well, you… you're just getting older.
519
00:25:16,083 --> 00:25:17,916
You know, bodies change,
520
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:21,166
and pretty soon,
you'll go through menopause.
521
00:25:21,250 --> 00:25:22,875
Oh my God. Don't.
522
00:25:22,958 --> 00:25:24,291
[Jim sighs]
523
00:25:24,375 --> 00:25:25,750
I can't do this.
524
00:25:26,250 --> 00:25:27,666
[breaths heavily]
525
00:25:27,750 --> 00:25:30,250
I was so close to having my dream life.
526
00:25:30,333 --> 00:25:32,125
You still can, sweetie.
527
00:25:32,208 --> 00:25:34,291
I can't. Look at this.
528
00:25:34,375 --> 00:25:36,166
-Well--
-[mumbles]
529
00:25:36,250 --> 00:25:39,083
-If anyone can do it, it's you.
-[doorbell rings]
530
00:25:39,166 --> 00:25:41,791
Oh, Dad, shut up. I'll get it.
531
00:25:41,875 --> 00:25:42,958
Dad…
532
00:25:43,041 --> 00:25:44,875
[sighs] Oh God. Okay.
533
00:25:53,458 --> 00:25:56,333
["Falling" by Joshua Radin plays]
534
00:26:05,583 --> 00:26:08,666
♪ I built a place for you to land ♪
535
00:26:10,458 --> 00:26:12,125
♪ Can you see it now ♪
536
00:26:14,208 --> 00:26:16,208
♪ From where you stand? ♪
537
00:26:16,916 --> 00:26:20,958
♪ You may think the fall is just too far ♪
538
00:26:22,041 --> 00:26:23,625
♪ When you leap ♪
539
00:26:24,458 --> 00:26:27,625
♪ You see who you really are ♪
540
00:26:29,416 --> 00:26:33,333
♪ And if you jump now
I know you'll survive ♪
541
00:26:34,750 --> 00:26:38,250
♪ You see it's a beautiful ride ♪
542
00:26:39,416 --> 00:26:44,083
♪ When you're high ♪
543
00:26:44,166 --> 00:26:47,291
♪ Flying through the sky ♪
544
00:26:50,500 --> 00:26:52,500
♪ And on your way down ♪
545
00:26:52,583 --> 00:26:55,833
♪ The sound of a new day ♪
546
00:26:56,416 --> 00:26:58,208
♪ Calls you from the ground ♪
547
00:26:58,291 --> 00:27:00,416
[woman] Steph, babe, what are you doing?
548
00:27:00,500 --> 00:27:02,916
I'm trying to not be ugly.
549
00:27:04,666 --> 00:27:06,958
I'm just tired of being made fun of.
550
00:27:09,166 --> 00:27:11,083
[woman breathes deeply]
551
00:27:11,166 --> 00:27:13,375
You are not ugly.
552
00:27:14,791 --> 00:27:16,166
Yes, I am.
553
00:27:17,208 --> 00:27:19,708
I just want to be like the populars.
554
00:27:19,791 --> 00:27:22,625
Oh. What do they have that you don't?
555
00:27:22,708 --> 00:27:26,083
Cool hair. Hot clothes.
Even hotter boyfriends.
556
00:27:26,166 --> 00:27:27,000
[chuckles]
557
00:27:28,708 --> 00:27:30,541
They pronounce
their… [in American accent] …R's.
558
00:27:30,625 --> 00:27:32,125
Mmm. [chuckles]
559
00:27:32,208 --> 00:27:33,333
Well…
560
00:27:34,291 --> 00:27:40,750
I think that you are beautiful
and smart and funny…
561
00:27:40,833 --> 00:27:42,541
[chuckles]
562
00:27:42,625 --> 00:27:44,791
…and I think the accent makes you unique.
563
00:27:45,875 --> 00:27:46,875
[chuckles]
564
00:27:46,958 --> 00:27:49,416
Well, it doesn't really count
if you say it, Mum.
565
00:27:49,500 --> 00:27:51,541
Oh. It doesn't, does it?
566
00:27:51,625 --> 00:27:54,916
Well, uh, too bad 'cause it's a fact.
567
00:27:56,208 --> 00:27:58,625
Mums have senses about things like this.
568
00:27:59,875 --> 00:28:02,625
-And I know that you…
-Uh, Mum.
569
00:28:02,708 --> 00:28:06,416
[laughs] …are gonna graduate and grow up
570
00:28:07,375 --> 00:28:09,375
and have the most perfect life.
571
00:28:10,250 --> 00:28:11,291
I just know it.
572
00:28:13,333 --> 00:28:14,291
You mean it?
573
00:28:16,375 --> 00:28:18,708
Do you think I could even be prom queen?
574
00:28:20,125 --> 00:28:22,500
-You sure that's what you want?
-Duh.
575
00:28:22,583 --> 00:28:23,958
[chuckles and sighs]
576
00:28:24,750 --> 00:28:28,791
Well, if anyone can make it happen,
it's you.
577
00:28:32,291 --> 00:28:34,291
[dramatic music plays]
578
00:28:36,958 --> 00:28:38,166
[sighs]
579
00:28:53,708 --> 00:28:56,416
["Remember the Name" (Featuring
Styles of Beyond) by Fort Minor plays]
580
00:28:56,500 --> 00:28:57,333
♪ Let's go ♪
581
00:28:57,416 --> 00:28:59,666
♪ Ten percent luck
Twenty percent skill ♪
582
00:28:59,750 --> 00:29:02,875
♪ Fifteen percent concentrated
Power of will ♪
583
00:29:02,958 --> 00:29:05,583
♪ Five percent pleasure
Fifty percent pain ♪
584
00:29:05,666 --> 00:29:07,958
♪ And a hundred percent reason
To remember the name ♪
585
00:29:08,041 --> 00:29:10,833
♪ This is ten percent luck
Twenty percent skill ♪
586
00:29:10,916 --> 00:29:13,750
♪ Fifteen percent concentrated
Power of will ♪
587
00:29:13,833 --> 00:29:16,583
♪ Five percent pleasure
Fifty percent pain ♪
588
00:29:16,666 --> 00:29:19,291
♪ And a hundred percent reason
To remember the name ♪
589
00:29:19,375 --> 00:29:20,541
♪ Yeah ♪
590
00:29:21,125 --> 00:29:23,208
♪ Fort Minor, M-Shinoda ♪
591
00:29:23,291 --> 00:29:25,041
♪ Styles of Beyond ♪
592
00:29:29,625 --> 00:29:31,000
["Remember the Name" ends]
593
00:29:37,041 --> 00:29:37,875
[exhales]
594
00:29:43,916 --> 00:29:45,500
-Martha! [moans]
-Oh my God.
595
00:29:45,583 --> 00:29:47,541
-There you are!
-Steph! Wha…
596
00:29:48,125 --> 00:29:49,875
-[Steph] Yeah.
-What are you doing here?
597
00:29:49,958 --> 00:29:53,083
This is exactly the type of car
a principal would drive.
598
00:29:53,166 --> 00:29:55,541
It's like… like you nailed it.
599
00:29:55,625 --> 00:29:58,625
-Um, I just need your help with something.
-[Martha] Uh…
600
00:29:59,625 --> 00:30:00,916
I want to go back to school.
601
00:30:01,708 --> 00:30:02,916
Oh, Steph.
602
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,416
That's wonderful. Yes, of course.
603
00:30:05,500 --> 00:30:08,416
I can get you some info on those programs.
There's a lot of great ones.
604
00:30:08,500 --> 00:30:13,041
Uh, no, Marth, I meant, like,
me come back to school, to Harding High,
605
00:30:13,125 --> 00:30:14,500
and finish my senior year.
606
00:30:15,958 --> 00:30:16,875
What?
607
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:18,875
God.
608
00:30:19,541 --> 00:30:20,458
No…
609
00:30:21,083 --> 00:30:21,916
No?
610
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,375
Or not no, but maybe not?
611
00:30:24,458 --> 00:30:26,000
Steph, hey, you know what?
612
00:30:26,583 --> 00:30:27,875
Instead…
613
00:30:27,958 --> 00:30:30,291
Wow. There's online classes.
614
00:30:30,375 --> 00:30:32,083
[gasps] Or… or… or… or…
615
00:30:32,166 --> 00:30:35,583
Um… Oh, GED courses
at the community college.
616
00:30:35,666 --> 00:30:38,333
I cannot move on
to the next chapter of my life
617
00:30:38,416 --> 00:30:41,375
if I'm still stuck in the old one
for 20 years.
618
00:30:41,958 --> 00:30:44,208
[huffs] And I understand that, but…
619
00:30:44,833 --> 00:30:47,916
Steph… [chuckles] …I can't let
an almost 40-year-old woman
620
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:49,166
into high school.
621
00:30:49,250 --> 00:30:54,458
Yeah, but you heard the doctor.
I'm still 17 mentally.
622
00:30:54,541 --> 00:30:55,708
-And look…
-That's--
623
00:30:55,791 --> 00:30:59,625
…that is medical.
And you cannot argue with science.
624
00:30:59,708 --> 00:31:02,375
-Are you sure you're ready to go back?
-Yes!
625
00:31:02,458 --> 00:31:05,958
High school was like yesterday for me.
It will not be weird at all.
626
00:31:06,833 --> 00:31:08,375
What else am I supposed to do?
627
00:31:08,458 --> 00:31:11,916
Start an OnlyFans account?
Queef for 20 dollars?
628
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:13,291
-[Martha] What?
-That's…
629
00:31:13,375 --> 00:31:15,083
I think that's what happens there.
630
00:31:15,166 --> 00:31:18,250
Those aren't your only two options.
You have lots of options.
631
00:31:18,833 --> 00:31:22,541
Look… [splutters] …high school,
it's an intense but delicate ecosystem.
632
00:31:22,625 --> 00:31:24,583
Yeah, which I can handle.
633
00:31:25,166 --> 00:31:27,833
But you know what? There's only a month
of the school year left--
634
00:31:27,916 --> 00:31:30,541
Oh, that's perfect!
That's basically the time that I missed!
635
00:31:31,291 --> 00:31:34,291
-Oh, yeah.
-Oh, that is, like, fate.
636
00:31:34,375 --> 00:31:36,541
Like, Destiny's Child.
637
00:31:37,083 --> 00:31:38,208
[sighs]
638
00:31:38,291 --> 00:31:41,958
Well, you might be
the first person in history
639
00:31:42,041 --> 00:31:44,208
to use a doctor's note to get into school.
640
00:31:44,291 --> 00:31:46,708
-My God! Yes!
-[Martha laughs]
641
00:31:47,291 --> 00:31:50,291
Martha! Oh my God.
You're the best. You're the best.
642
00:31:50,375 --> 00:31:52,083
I'm so worried.
643
00:31:52,666 --> 00:31:57,291
♪ This time I'm gonna be
Everything I want me to be ♪
644
00:31:57,375 --> 00:31:59,500
♪ So fresh, yeah, so free ♪
645
00:31:59,583 --> 00:32:01,625
♪ I'mma get what's coming to me ♪
646
00:32:01,708 --> 00:32:03,875
♪ No diamonds, no rubies ♪
647
00:32:03,958 --> 00:32:06,541
♪ Gonna keep me down
No, I gotta be ♪
648
00:32:06,625 --> 00:32:09,083
♪ So damn high
Yeah, you'll see ♪
649
00:32:09,166 --> 00:32:10,958
♪ I'mma be where I wanna be ♪
650
00:32:11,041 --> 00:32:14,791
♪ Hold on tight if you want to ride ♪
651
00:32:14,875 --> 00:32:20,250
♪ I'mma reach new heights
Yeah, let's paint the sky ♪
652
00:32:20,333 --> 00:32:22,916
-♪ I'm gonna be your ♪
-♪ Aeroplane ♪
653
00:32:24,166 --> 00:32:25,041
[exhales]
654
00:32:25,708 --> 00:32:26,750
Sorry, babe.
655
00:32:27,333 --> 00:32:28,458
I was in a coma.
656
00:32:28,541 --> 00:32:32,833
-["Candy" by Mandy Moore plays]
-♪ Ooh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
657
00:32:33,333 --> 00:32:35,000
♪ Ooh, oh ♪
658
00:32:35,583 --> 00:32:37,875
-♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
-♪ Give it to me ♪
659
00:32:37,958 --> 00:32:43,375
♪ I'm so addicted to the loving
That you're feeding to me ♪
660
00:32:44,458 --> 00:32:46,458
-["Candy" stops]
-[indistinct chattering]
661
00:32:47,500 --> 00:32:51,125
-["Candy" continues]
-♪ Oh, baby, baby ♪
662
00:32:51,208 --> 00:32:55,750
♪ Body's in withdrawal
Every time you take it away… ♪
663
00:32:55,833 --> 00:32:58,250
Miss Conway! Miss Conway! Miss Conway!
664
00:32:58,333 --> 00:33:01,166
[laughs] Hi!
[in Australian accent] G'day, mate!
665
00:33:01,250 --> 00:33:04,583
I wanted to say hi in your native tongue.
'Cause you're Australian, right?
666
00:33:04,666 --> 00:33:06,416
-Yes. Yeah.
-Oh, good, good, good!
667
00:33:06,500 --> 00:33:09,625
Your friend, my boss, Principal Riser,
asked me to show you around
668
00:33:09,708 --> 00:33:12,041
and give you a little orientation
here at Harding.
669
00:33:12,125 --> 00:33:14,958
Oh, okay. I don't really need to.
I know my way around.
670
00:33:15,041 --> 00:33:18,500
Oh, come on, it's fun.
I have nothing else to do.
671
00:33:18,583 --> 00:33:22,291
I'm Mr. Tapper, the guidance counselor,
but you can call me Mr. T.
672
00:33:22,375 --> 00:33:26,250
Is that because you… [mimics Mr. T]
…"pity the fool" who has a bad first day?
673
00:33:26,333 --> 00:33:27,666
Oh. [chuckles]
674
00:33:27,750 --> 00:33:31,250
Well, yeah. Yeah, I would feel…
I would feel terrible.
675
00:33:31,333 --> 00:33:34,208
No. I meant, like,
you know, Mr. T. [chuckles]
676
00:33:34,291 --> 00:33:37,208
[mimics Mr. T]
"I pity the fool. I pity the fool."
677
00:33:37,291 --> 00:33:41,500
I've never said that before, but I guess
I could start if you wanted me to.
678
00:33:41,583 --> 00:33:42,875
I pity the fool!
679
00:33:43,666 --> 00:33:45,958
Mr. T is pitying fools over here.
680
00:33:46,041 --> 00:33:50,000
[laughs] All right, let's, um…
let's… let's go on a little tour here.
681
00:33:50,083 --> 00:33:53,291
I have your records here from 2002.
You were a cheerleader.
682
00:33:53,375 --> 00:33:55,625
-Cheer captain.
-Ooh, cheer captain.
683
00:33:55,708 --> 00:34:00,125
Uh, president of the Fashion Club.
Whoa! Your grades were pretty good.
684
00:34:00,208 --> 00:34:03,916
My God, shut up. Don't. I don't want
anybody here to think I'm a dork.
685
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:05,791
I'm saying
graduating shouldn't be a problem.
686
00:34:05,875 --> 00:34:06,958
Wait. What happened?
687
00:34:07,625 --> 00:34:09,875
Where are
all the prom king and queen winners?
688
00:34:09,958 --> 00:34:13,875
Oh, um, Principal Riser felt
that it sent a bad message,
689
00:34:13,958 --> 00:34:16,333
so she replaced it
with something more positive.
690
00:34:17,125 --> 00:34:19,583
-That looks like a bunch of tampons.
-Yeah, it is.
691
00:34:19,666 --> 00:34:21,375
But it's also found art.
692
00:34:21,875 --> 00:34:24,250
So you're saying they're found tampons.
693
00:34:25,125 --> 00:34:27,625
Oh, yes, I am.
694
00:34:29,166 --> 00:34:30,125
[cell phone chimes]
695
00:34:35,333 --> 00:34:37,333
[cell phones chiming]
696
00:34:40,541 --> 00:34:44,083
If not, just pretend
it's fake history. [laughs]
697
00:34:44,166 --> 00:34:45,333
Oh! I am so sorry.
698
00:34:46,750 --> 00:34:47,583
Stephanie?
699
00:34:48,250 --> 00:34:49,875
-Oh my God!
-It… it's… it's Seth!
700
00:34:49,958 --> 00:34:51,291
-Seth?
-Yeah!
701
00:34:51,375 --> 00:34:53,041
-Oh, Seth!
-Oh my goodness!
702
00:34:53,125 --> 00:34:54,875
-[Steph] Oh!
-Wow!
703
00:34:54,958 --> 00:34:56,666
Martha said that you were back,
704
00:34:56,750 --> 00:34:59,500
and I guess, in my head,
I just couldn't make it real,
705
00:34:59,583 --> 00:35:01,250
but look at you. You look great!
706
00:35:01,333 --> 00:35:04,250
It's me! Like, look,
I'm walking and talking.
707
00:35:04,333 --> 00:35:06,166
-Yeah. Doing all those things.
-Everything.
708
00:35:06,250 --> 00:35:07,958
Just like you used to, walk and talk.
709
00:35:08,041 --> 00:35:10,625
Well, look at you! Oh my God!
710
00:35:10,708 --> 00:35:14,583
-You look so cool and suave and adult.
-Yeah. [chuckles]
711
00:35:14,666 --> 00:35:17,708
Wow! What happened to that nerd
that used to just hang out in the library?
712
00:35:17,791 --> 00:35:20,000
He became the school librarian.
713
00:35:20,791 --> 00:35:21,916
Seriously?
714
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:23,083
-[Seth] Mm-hmm.
-Ah…
715
00:35:23,166 --> 00:35:25,333
Seth, thank you so much for the yearbook.
716
00:35:25,416 --> 00:35:27,458
Why didn't you just come in and say hi?
717
00:35:27,541 --> 00:35:31,458
[splutters] You know,
I didn't wanna overwhelm you, you know.
718
00:35:31,541 --> 00:35:33,958
Plus, I can't stay out so late
on a school night. [chuckles]
719
00:35:34,041 --> 00:35:36,666
-[school bell rings]
-Ah, shit. Shoot. [splutters]
720
00:35:36,750 --> 00:35:37,583
Dang!
721
00:35:38,083 --> 00:35:42,083
I wish I could hang out and talk more,
but I gotta get back to work.
722
00:35:42,166 --> 00:35:44,791
-Oh, yeah, I got to get back to class.
-[laughs] Yeah.
723
00:35:44,875 --> 00:35:46,916
I don't wanna be
20 years and ten minutes late.
724
00:35:47,583 --> 00:35:50,916
So, I will see you around.
You know where to find me.
725
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:54,416
Yeah, same.
You know where to find me, in the library.
726
00:35:54,500 --> 00:35:57,666
-Some things never change, right?
-Bye, Seth. I'll call you.
727
00:35:58,500 --> 00:36:00,833
Or you can do some long division, I guess.
728
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:05,958
Steph, how's your first day?
729
00:36:06,041 --> 00:36:09,208
Oh my God,
it's just been, like, so amazing.
730
00:36:09,291 --> 00:36:12,666
Like, just making new friends.
Everyone's already obsessed with me.
731
00:36:12,750 --> 00:36:16,000
That's so great. We strive
for a welcoming environment here.
732
00:36:16,083 --> 00:36:19,708
Um, listen, I need to talk to you
about rejoining the Bulldogettes.
733
00:36:19,791 --> 00:36:23,000
Um, instead of cheer, I think
you should be focusing on your schoolwork.
734
00:36:23,083 --> 00:36:25,125
Yeah. Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure!
735
00:36:25,208 --> 00:36:28,541
Um, but who do I talk to about rejoining?
736
00:36:29,875 --> 00:36:32,750
Well, you would talk to me.
I'm the cheer coach now.
737
00:36:32,833 --> 00:36:35,000
Okay. Wait, I see your game.
738
00:36:35,083 --> 00:36:36,375
You become principal
739
00:36:36,458 --> 00:36:39,958
so then you can get real power
by running the cheer squad.
740
00:36:40,041 --> 00:36:41,750
[exhales] That's smart. I respect that.
741
00:36:41,833 --> 00:36:45,166
Yeah, that… that's not why
I got my master's in education.
742
00:36:45,250 --> 00:36:47,666
Um, look, I don't think the cheer squad
743
00:36:47,750 --> 00:36:49,208
needs a new member right now.
744
00:36:49,791 --> 00:36:52,333
Well, that's wrong
'cause every cheer squad in the country
745
00:36:52,416 --> 00:36:53,666
would love to have me.
746
00:36:53,750 --> 00:36:57,583
There's only two performances left,
so I don't think it's worth it.
747
00:36:57,666 --> 00:37:00,500
Marth, I only need
one performance to make a splash
748
00:37:00,583 --> 00:37:02,541
if I have any chance
of becoming prom queen.
749
00:37:03,875 --> 00:37:06,125
-Steph…
-This head still needs a crown.
750
00:37:06,208 --> 00:37:09,916
[Martha chuckles] I'm so sorry.
It's not gonna get it.
751
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:10,875
Steph,
752
00:37:11,791 --> 00:37:14,416
we do not have
prom queen at this school anymore.
753
00:37:19,708 --> 00:37:21,833
Oh my God, are you having a mini stroke?
754
00:37:26,291 --> 00:37:27,166
What?
755
00:37:27,250 --> 00:37:29,666
Competitions like that, they're dangerous.
756
00:37:29,750 --> 00:37:33,250
Winning things, it just…
it doesn't reflect our school values.
757
00:37:33,333 --> 00:37:36,625
With no winners, there aren't any losers.
758
00:37:36,708 --> 00:37:39,500
I've made a school with no losers.
759
00:37:39,583 --> 00:37:43,208
But everybody was just talking to me
about how much they want prom queen.
760
00:37:43,291 --> 00:37:47,291
Steph, if all the students want it back,
they know they can petition for it.
761
00:37:47,375 --> 00:37:49,041
But so far no one has.
762
00:37:49,125 --> 00:37:51,375
[boy] Oh, that was so close.
You were so close.
763
00:37:51,458 --> 00:37:54,291
-[girl] Let me put it my mouth.
-One more. Ready and one…
764
00:37:54,916 --> 00:37:56,500
[laughs] Yay!
765
00:37:56,583 --> 00:37:59,333
Oh, hey, is this where the ho-bags sit?
766
00:38:00,041 --> 00:38:02,375
♪ Ho-ing down with the ho-bags, yeah ♪
767
00:38:02,958 --> 00:38:05,375
♪ Ho… ♪
That's a fun way of saying "what's up?"
768
00:38:05,458 --> 00:38:07,833
-I'm Janet.
-And I'm Yaz, and that's Neil.
769
00:38:07,916 --> 00:38:10,208
I just have to say I'm living
for this little vintage fit.
770
00:38:10,291 --> 00:38:12,458
-And I'm not even JK-ing. Okay?
-[chuckles]
771
00:38:12,541 --> 00:38:16,250
Okay, what is with
this enormous lunch table?
772
00:38:16,333 --> 00:38:18,541
How are we supposed to know
where the popular kids sit?
773
00:38:18,625 --> 00:38:22,458
Well, when there's just one table,
we're all popular kids.
774
00:38:22,541 --> 00:38:24,708
-Everybody.
-Oh no, no, no. That's not how life works.
775
00:38:24,791 --> 00:38:26,791
There's only, like, three ways
to become popular,
776
00:38:26,875 --> 00:38:29,458
to be a cheerleader,
to work at Abercrombie,
777
00:38:29,541 --> 00:38:31,208
or to let guys go in the back door.
778
00:38:31,291 --> 00:38:33,166
-What?
-Oh my God, I must be really popular then.
779
00:38:33,250 --> 00:38:35,416
-[chuckles]
-What?
780
00:38:36,416 --> 00:38:38,750
-Nothing.
-Anyways, um, Janet…
781
00:38:38,833 --> 00:38:40,166
[Janet] Mm-hmm.
782
00:38:40,250 --> 00:38:43,750
…I was wondering
if you would like to sign my petition.
783
00:38:43,833 --> 00:38:46,041
It's to bring back
prom queen to Harding High.
784
00:38:46,125 --> 00:38:48,541
-Oh my gosh!
-[gasps] No way!
785
00:38:48,625 --> 00:38:50,583
Do I respect IRL grassroot efforts
786
00:38:50,666 --> 00:38:53,083
to effect change
into societal systems? Yes.
787
00:38:53,166 --> 00:38:56,750
It's also very refreshing
to see non-digital campaign strategy.
788
00:38:56,833 --> 00:38:58,333
-It is.
-So I'll sign it.
789
00:38:58,416 --> 00:39:01,791
I'll sign it too, but don't be surprised
if we're the only ones.
790
00:39:02,375 --> 00:39:03,541
Why's that?
791
00:39:03,625 --> 00:39:06,208
Because nobody's gonna sign this
unless Bri Luvs signs it.
792
00:39:06,291 --> 00:39:08,125
-Who?
-Her.
793
00:39:08,750 --> 00:39:11,458
Bri Luvs.
That's just her name on social media.
794
00:39:11,541 --> 00:39:14,291
She's got, like,
three million Instagram followers.
795
00:39:14,375 --> 00:39:18,791
And that 98 pounds of sexy is Lance,
her fine-ass boyfriend.
796
00:39:18,875 --> 00:39:21,791
[Janet] Last year, Vice did a whole vlog
about their open relaish
797
00:39:21,875 --> 00:39:24,666
and called it
the gold standard of the future.
798
00:39:24,750 --> 00:39:27,166
Cool, cool, cool.
So, um, how do I get her to sign it?
799
00:39:27,250 --> 00:39:30,208
Oh, you won't. She's untouchable.
800
00:39:30,291 --> 00:39:33,250
Okay, everyone's friends with her,
but she's friends with no one.
801
00:39:33,333 --> 00:39:34,166
Yeah.
802
00:39:34,250 --> 00:39:36,125
-She's coming over here.
-No, she's not.
803
00:39:36,208 --> 00:39:38,375
-Just act normal. Avoid eye contact and--
-Okay.
804
00:39:38,458 --> 00:39:42,083
-[gasps] Yaz! Been a minute, huh?
-It has been so long.
805
00:39:42,166 --> 00:39:46,500
So long! And Janet, loved your post about
alternative body positivity the other day.
806
00:39:46,583 --> 00:39:48,375
You are so inspiring.
807
00:39:48,458 --> 00:39:50,791
I was just showing off
my new bathing suit.
808
00:39:50,875 --> 00:39:53,875
Hi, I'm Bri, and you must be Stephanie.
809
00:39:53,958 --> 00:39:55,041
I heard about you.
810
00:39:55,125 --> 00:39:56,750
Really? [chuckles]
811
00:39:56,833 --> 00:39:57,791
I mean, um…
812
00:39:58,833 --> 00:40:01,666
Yeah, obviously,
because I'm, like, the total shiznit,
813
00:40:01,750 --> 00:40:04,541
and I basically used to be you
when I went here.
814
00:40:04,625 --> 00:40:07,541
You know, the most popular girl in school
'cause we're the same.
815
00:40:07,625 --> 00:40:09,875
I don't really think about popularity.
816
00:40:09,958 --> 00:40:12,666
I'm just trying to build
my most authentic, socially conscious,
817
00:40:12,750 --> 00:40:16,125
body-positive, environmentally aware,
and economically compassionate brand
818
00:40:16,208 --> 00:40:18,500
that's a home for inclusion,
focused fashion, food,
819
00:40:18,583 --> 00:40:19,958
and fun-filled lifestyles.
820
00:40:20,041 --> 00:40:22,916
And if tons of people respond to that,
then, great.
821
00:40:23,500 --> 00:40:25,750
Totally. [hesitates] Yes.
822
00:40:25,833 --> 00:40:28,291
I mean, obviously.
823
00:40:28,375 --> 00:40:31,333
Um, while I've got you here,
would you mind signing this?
824
00:40:31,416 --> 00:40:33,541
I'm gonna stop you right there.
[sucks teeth]
825
00:40:33,625 --> 00:40:37,250
I made a paper-free pledge this year,
so I only deal with forms digitally.
826
00:40:37,333 --> 00:40:40,291
I'm sure you understand.
But can we take an ussie?
827
00:40:40,875 --> 00:40:42,791
Yes. Absolutely. [chuckles]
828
00:40:42,875 --> 00:40:45,416
-Where to?
-[Janet laughs] Um… [clears throat]
829
00:40:45,500 --> 00:40:48,000
Where are we going? We're going--
Ooh. What? Sorry.
830
00:40:48,083 --> 00:40:49,833
-[camera shutter clicks]
-[Bri laughs]
831
00:40:49,916 --> 00:40:51,625
-What was that?
-[Bri] Oh, before I forget.
832
00:40:51,708 --> 00:40:54,375
My mom, Tiffany,
told me to tell you she says hi.
833
00:40:54,458 --> 00:40:56,416
She said to remind you
she's married to Blaine
834
00:40:56,500 --> 00:40:58,666
and lives in your dream house,
in case you couldn't place her.
835
00:40:58,750 --> 00:41:00,666
[hesitates] Your mom, Tiffany.
836
00:41:00,750 --> 00:41:02,833
Nice meeting you, Stephanie. Bye.
837
00:41:03,541 --> 00:41:05,250
-Bye.
-Bye.
838
00:41:06,125 --> 00:41:08,416
Baby, you're manspreading again.
839
00:41:08,500 --> 00:41:09,375
Oh. [chuckles]
840
00:41:09,458 --> 00:41:10,750
-Whoops.
-[Bri laughs]
841
00:41:12,291 --> 00:41:14,833
Oh my God. He knows you exist.
842
00:41:14,916 --> 00:41:18,333
Yeah, 'cause probably
he's, like, already obsessed with me.
843
00:41:18,416 --> 00:41:21,625
-[cell phones chime]
-Oh my God. What is that? A fire drill?
844
00:41:21,708 --> 00:41:23,250
-[Janet] Uh…
-What, robot invasion?
845
00:41:23,333 --> 00:41:24,333
[Janet] Bri is going live.
846
00:41:24,958 --> 00:41:28,750
Hey, guys, we have a new student
at Harding High, and she's older than us.
847
00:41:28,833 --> 00:41:31,500
And I want to remind
everyone around the world
848
00:41:31,583 --> 00:41:35,000
that treating someone different
'cause they're elderly is called ageism,
849
00:41:35,083 --> 00:41:38,375
no matter how weird or foreign
or out of touch they may seem,
850
00:41:38,958 --> 00:41:40,166
and that's not cool.
851
00:41:40,750 --> 00:41:42,708
Also, stay tuned. I have amazing news
852
00:41:42,791 --> 00:41:45,666
about my upcoming summer
screen-detox vacay in Nepal.
853
00:41:45,750 --> 00:41:49,500
Remember, Bri loves you. [kisses]
854
00:41:50,583 --> 00:41:51,541
That was hot.
855
00:41:52,125 --> 00:41:53,125
You're hot.
856
00:41:54,958 --> 00:41:57,791
-I'll sign your petition.
-Oh my God! Yay! Three people!
857
00:41:57,875 --> 00:41:59,083
-Whoo!
-Oh my God, no.
858
00:41:59,166 --> 00:42:01,500
Guys, I need
the cheerleaders to sign this.
859
00:42:01,583 --> 00:42:03,708
Because then everyone will.
Cheer pressure.
860
00:42:03,791 --> 00:42:07,041
Well, they'll sign it
'cause we already did.
861
00:42:07,875 --> 00:42:08,708
Ha!
862
00:42:08,791 --> 00:42:11,416
-You guys are the cheerleaders?
-Absolutely.
863
00:42:13,083 --> 00:42:15,333
-[Yaz] Ready?
-[cheerleaders] Okay!
864
00:42:15,416 --> 00:42:17,708
♪ The Earth is smoking ♪
865
00:42:17,791 --> 00:42:19,750
♪ We need new laws ♪
866
00:42:20,583 --> 00:42:25,541
♪ Turtles are choking on plastic straws ♪
867
00:42:27,083 --> 00:42:29,833
Oh. [chuckles]
Good job, good job. What'd you think?
868
00:42:31,083 --> 00:42:32,291
What was that?
869
00:42:32,833 --> 00:42:35,166
-Well, that's--
-What was that?
870
00:42:36,166 --> 00:42:38,833
-It's our most popular routine. [chuckles]
-Yeah.
871
00:42:39,791 --> 00:42:42,625
-Well, who were you guys cheering for?
-For everyone.
872
00:42:42,708 --> 00:42:45,625
You know, to do the right thing, right?
Team Humanity!
873
00:42:45,708 --> 00:42:47,041
[cheerleaders] Team Humanity!
874
00:42:47,125 --> 00:42:48,750
Uh… [chuckles]
875
00:42:48,833 --> 00:42:51,791
But what about, like, the music
and the dancing and the flipping?
876
00:42:51,875 --> 00:42:55,000
Oh. Oh no. No.
We do not do stunts anymore.
877
00:42:55,083 --> 00:42:57,791
-Oh.
-And also we don't do any sexy dancing.
878
00:42:57,875 --> 00:43:00,833
We'd rather have people listen
to our words than just our bodies.
879
00:43:00,916 --> 00:43:03,500
Okay, yeah, but this cheer
would be so much better
880
00:43:03,583 --> 00:43:07,083
if you guys made me believe you were
seconds away from showing your tits.
881
00:43:07,166 --> 00:43:09,000
-[Martha] No, Steph…
-[Steph] Yes, Martha.
882
00:43:09,083 --> 00:43:11,750
-[Martha] Okay.
-Yes. I had this one signature move.
883
00:43:11,833 --> 00:43:15,375
You'll love it. It's called lips to lips.
Everybody, do it with me.
884
00:43:15,458 --> 00:43:17,041
-Don't.
-You start on the face.
885
00:43:17,125 --> 00:43:18,666
-Fingers go down the body.
-[Martha] No.
886
00:43:18,750 --> 00:43:20,208
Down the body and up.
887
00:43:20,291 --> 00:43:22,708
No! Why is everyone doing it?
I'm saying don't do it.
888
00:43:22,791 --> 00:43:24,291
-[Yaz] Okay, look.
-[Janet] Okay.
889
00:43:24,375 --> 00:43:27,541
We would do that, but our freshman year,
Bri Luvs made an Instagram post
890
00:43:27,625 --> 00:43:29,791
saying that cheerleaders
were anti-feminist.
891
00:43:29,875 --> 00:43:32,291
The whole school turned against us,
and we had to recalibrate.
892
00:43:32,375 --> 00:43:34,791
Her post got, like, seven million likes.
893
00:43:34,875 --> 00:43:36,375
-Eight million.
-It was for the best.
894
00:43:36,458 --> 00:43:39,166
Anyways, let's show her
our gun control routine.
895
00:43:39,250 --> 00:43:40,833
-It's one of our best.
-[Steph] No, wait!
896
00:43:40,916 --> 00:43:43,458
What even is this squad? Like…
897
00:43:45,291 --> 00:43:46,791
Is there even a cheer captain?
898
00:43:46,875 --> 00:43:49,041
-Yeah.
-Yeah, Stephanie, I am the cheer captain.
899
00:43:49,125 --> 00:43:51,375
-I am the cheer captain.
-I am the cheer captain.
900
00:43:51,458 --> 00:43:53,250
I'm a cheer captain. [chuckles]
901
00:43:53,333 --> 00:43:54,500
-And also the coach.
-You?
902
00:43:55,625 --> 00:43:58,541
Martha, that's the most fucked up thing
I've ever heard.
903
00:43:58,625 --> 00:44:02,291
Steph, we are all cheer captains here
to promote… Say it with me.
904
00:44:02,375 --> 00:44:05,041
[cheerleaders] Equality!
905
00:44:05,125 --> 00:44:08,250
-Including you, Steph.
-[boy] Welcome.
906
00:44:08,333 --> 00:44:10,916
-[pants]
-Do you love it? Are you okay?
907
00:44:11,708 --> 00:44:13,000
Oh my God.
908
00:44:13,083 --> 00:44:15,333
-[Steph] Oh my God.
-She loves it, you guys. You nailed it!
909
00:44:15,416 --> 00:44:17,916
-[cheerleaders cheer]
-[laughs]
910
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:19,958
-[Yaz] Oh my God!
-Aw!
911
00:44:20,041 --> 00:44:23,583
[upbeat music plays and ends]
912
00:44:23,666 --> 00:44:25,125
Excuse me, Mr. Bud.
913
00:44:25,208 --> 00:44:26,500
Hey, what's up?
914
00:44:26,583 --> 00:44:28,500
Um, seeing as you're my librarian now,
915
00:44:28,583 --> 00:44:31,625
you're legally obligated
to help me research something, yeah?
916
00:44:31,708 --> 00:44:32,541
Yeah, by law.
917
00:44:32,625 --> 00:44:36,291
Yeah, I think the teachers union's
a real stickler about that sort of thing.
918
00:44:36,375 --> 00:44:39,208
I'm just kidding.
I'm not in the union. What's up?
919
00:44:39,291 --> 00:44:41,833
-[Steph] Oh, this is addictive.
-[Seth] Yeah.
920
00:44:41,916 --> 00:44:45,083
Social platforms have become
a vital tool for communication.
921
00:44:45,166 --> 00:44:48,250
Look, it's a turtle humping a rock!
922
00:44:48,333 --> 00:44:49,666
-Yeah.
-Oh, get it. Get it.
923
00:44:49,750 --> 00:44:51,416
Yeah, oh, that gets a heart.
924
00:44:51,500 --> 00:44:52,916
-[phone chimes]
-And it's also that.
925
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:55,791
Okay. All right.
I think I've worked this thing out.
926
00:44:55,875 --> 00:44:56,708
Okay.
927
00:44:56,791 --> 00:44:59,458
So, basically you get followers
by being somebody everybody likes.
928
00:44:59,541 --> 00:45:00,375
Mm-hmm.
929
00:45:00,458 --> 00:45:03,666
So it's a popularity contest,
but instead of just high school,
930
00:45:03,750 --> 00:45:06,750
it's now the whole world,
and the whole world is your phone.
931
00:45:06,833 --> 00:45:08,708
Yeah. I mean, that's exactly it.
932
00:45:08,791 --> 00:45:10,541
-That's it.
-Yeah, it's pretty sad.
933
00:45:10,625 --> 00:45:14,250
No! This is, like, amazing.
This is like a shortcut.
934
00:45:14,333 --> 00:45:17,500
Wow, I immediately regret
showing you this.
935
00:45:17,583 --> 00:45:19,750
Just to be clear,
this is a way for people to pretend
936
00:45:19,833 --> 00:45:22,000
their life and skin texture
is better than it is.
937
00:45:22,083 --> 00:45:25,708
Is that why you've posted this picture
of you with this random hot chick?
938
00:45:25,791 --> 00:45:28,625
No, that's my ex-fiancée Diana.
939
00:45:28,708 --> 00:45:30,458
-You were engaged?
-I was.
940
00:45:30,541 --> 00:45:33,125
-Shut up! Seth.
- [chuckles] Uh-huh.
941
00:45:33,208 --> 00:45:35,041
That's actually how I ended up here.
942
00:45:35,125 --> 00:45:37,916
We both were working
at the National Archives in DC,
943
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:40,333
and when we split up, I needed a change.
944
00:45:40,416 --> 00:45:42,958
So Martha got me a job at Harding,
and here I am.
945
00:45:43,041 --> 00:45:45,583
Trust me, being close to 40
and back at my high school
946
00:45:45,666 --> 00:45:47,208
isn't exactly where I wanted to be, but…
947
00:45:47,291 --> 00:45:50,083
-Oh. [laughs] Tell me about it!
-[laughs] Yeah, right!
948
00:45:50,166 --> 00:45:53,458
Uh, well, I should get back
to enriching young minds.
949
00:45:53,541 --> 00:45:55,291
Just kidding. I'm covering a drama class.
950
00:45:55,375 --> 00:45:56,625
-I'll see you later.
-Okay.
951
00:45:56,708 --> 00:45:58,708
-[Seth] All right. Oh!
-Bye!
952
00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:04,166
Need that back. Yeah, thanks, Steph.
953
00:46:04,250 --> 00:46:05,250
[Steph hums]
954
00:46:05,333 --> 00:46:06,500
Please, Dad!
955
00:46:07,041 --> 00:46:09,333
Phones are like the new Tamagotchis.
956
00:46:09,416 --> 00:46:13,875
Okay? I need one, and I promise you,
I will not go over the minutes.
957
00:46:13,958 --> 00:46:17,791
Really, it's for my own personal safety,
'cause what happens if I get kidnapped?
958
00:46:17,875 --> 00:46:21,250
I think if you get kidnapped, Stephanie,
they'll probably take your phone.
959
00:46:21,333 --> 00:46:23,916
Not if I'd hidden it up my…
[clicks tongue]
960
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:27,416
Well, just to be safe,
it's probably a good thing.
961
00:46:28,041 --> 00:46:29,166
I got you this.
962
00:46:30,833 --> 00:46:32,916
[gasps] Oh my God.
963
00:46:34,708 --> 00:46:36,750
[angelic music plays]
964
00:46:37,333 --> 00:46:38,250
Dad…
965
00:46:39,708 --> 00:46:41,375
-Thank you!
-You're welcome.
966
00:46:41,458 --> 00:46:43,375
Oh, you're the best dad!
967
00:46:43,458 --> 00:46:45,458
-[Jim chuckles]
-[Steph groans]
968
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:48,500
Dad, I can't believe this!
969
00:46:49,333 --> 00:46:51,833
Hey, guys, uh, it's just me, Stephanie.
970
00:46:51,916 --> 00:46:54,333
-I'm just chilling at my crib.
-[chimes]
971
00:46:54,416 --> 00:46:56,083
I don't even know how to do this.
972
00:46:56,166 --> 00:47:00,875
I was just thinking that we should bring
prom queen back to Harding High.
973
00:47:00,958 --> 00:47:02,375
-#AwesomeIdea.
-[chimes]
974
00:47:02,458 --> 00:47:04,208
-#Yes.
-[chimes]
975
00:47:04,291 --> 00:47:07,208
-Spread it around. Let's make it a virus.
-[chiming]
976
00:47:07,291 --> 00:47:08,541
That's… that's cute.
977
00:47:08,625 --> 00:47:10,791
[Martha over PA] Remember to vote
for this year's prom theme.
978
00:47:10,875 --> 00:47:13,291
The choices are A, Bridgerton,
979
00:47:13,375 --> 00:47:14,875
B, pride,
980
00:47:14,958 --> 00:47:18,750
and a last-minute write-in submission
by Stephanie Conway, C,
981
00:47:18,833 --> 00:47:20,750
The Real World: New Orleans.
982
00:47:21,333 --> 00:47:23,625
-Democracy works only if you vote!
-What?
983
00:47:23,708 --> 00:47:26,416
-[gasps] Stop, stop, stop.
-[Martha] Love you all!
984
00:47:26,500 --> 00:47:28,166
-[Bri] Oh my God.
-Are you going over there?
985
00:47:28,250 --> 00:47:29,291
-Okay.
-[Lance] So fire.
986
00:47:29,375 --> 00:47:31,625
[Bri] Let's wait
until the party to tell everyone.
987
00:47:31,708 --> 00:47:34,541
Oh my God,
is there a party happening? Whoo!
988
00:47:34,625 --> 00:47:37,625
Oh. Hi, Stephanie. What's up?
989
00:47:37,708 --> 00:47:40,958
I just came to say we're, like, cool.
990
00:47:41,041 --> 00:47:43,791
Okay? Even after the other day
when you, like, said I was old and shit.
991
00:47:43,875 --> 00:47:46,083
Oh, did you think that was mean?
992
00:47:46,166 --> 00:47:47,458
I am so sorry.
993
00:47:47,541 --> 00:47:48,791
I was just shedding light
994
00:47:48,875 --> 00:47:50,833
on an often overlooked
discrimination issue.
995
00:47:50,916 --> 00:47:52,208
[Steph] Look, okay, I get.
996
00:47:52,291 --> 00:47:55,541
Queen bee feels very threatened
by the hot new girl
997
00:47:55,625 --> 00:47:57,458
and decides to go on the offensive.
998
00:47:57,541 --> 00:48:00,375
Classic Sandy/Rizzo.
It was the same way with your mum.
999
00:48:00,458 --> 00:48:03,250
I am not my mom. I'm nothing like her.
1000
00:48:03,333 --> 00:48:06,750
So whatever went on between you two
has nothing to do with me.
1001
00:48:06,833 --> 00:48:11,041
Awesome. Okay, so now that we're friends,
can you follow me on Insta?
1002
00:48:11,125 --> 00:48:16,666
I'm "A" with this little circle around it
hot coma girl 113.
1003
00:48:16,750 --> 00:48:19,583
Who knew?
There's 112 other hot coma girls.
1004
00:48:19,666 --> 00:48:23,125
Mm-hmm. Okay, so I get this request a lot.
1005
00:48:23,208 --> 00:48:25,416
Um, I limit my follows,
1006
00:48:25,500 --> 00:48:28,083
'cause if I follow one person,
another might get mad,
1007
00:48:28,166 --> 00:48:31,166
so it's a sacrifice I make
for everyone's mental health.
1008
00:48:31,250 --> 00:48:33,291
Um, but good luck getting followers.
1009
00:48:33,375 --> 00:48:36,041
Okay. [splutters]
Well, wait, can you follow me?
1010
00:48:36,750 --> 00:48:38,666
Can I follow her on Instagram?
1011
00:48:38,750 --> 00:48:39,583
No.
1012
00:48:40,083 --> 00:48:40,958
I can't.
1013
00:48:41,041 --> 00:48:42,583
Sorry. [chuckles]
1014
00:48:45,250 --> 00:48:47,250
[sultry music plays]
1015
00:48:53,291 --> 00:48:54,666
Hey, Steph.
1016
00:48:54,750 --> 00:48:57,416
-Holy shit. Mmm.
-Um, I'm doing a makeup tutorial.
1017
00:48:57,500 --> 00:48:59,500
For who? Batman villains?
1018
00:48:59,583 --> 00:49:01,708
I'm just really needing
some new followers.
1019
00:49:01,791 --> 00:49:04,458
You don't realize
how many people don't care about you
1020
00:49:04,541 --> 00:49:06,416
until you see it
as a number on your phone.
1021
00:49:06,500 --> 00:49:10,166
Okay. Well, if you get tired
of being an influencer,
1022
00:49:10,250 --> 00:49:13,708
the Natural History Museum is showing
Deep Impact on their IMAX all week.
1023
00:49:13,791 --> 00:49:15,500
So, maybe we could go this weekend?
1024
00:49:15,583 --> 00:49:17,625
Deep Impact again?
1025
00:49:17,708 --> 00:49:21,541
Oh my God. You, me, and Martha
just watched that a couple weekends ago.
1026
00:49:22,875 --> 00:49:26,250
Oh no, actually, I think you're thinking
of 1,000 weekends ago.
1027
00:49:27,458 --> 00:49:29,416
Oh. Right.
1028
00:49:29,500 --> 00:49:33,291
Mm. Okay, I would go,
but I've got a party this weekend.
1029
00:49:33,375 --> 00:49:36,875
Oh, cool. Uh, you know, what night?
I'm completely free.
1030
00:49:36,958 --> 00:49:40,500
I don't actually know yet,
so I'm just keeping my schedule open.
1031
00:49:40,583 --> 00:49:42,666
[inhales] Right.
1032
00:49:43,208 --> 00:49:44,250
Just to be clear,
1033
00:49:44,333 --> 00:49:46,708
you're saying no to attend
a party you haven't been invited to
1034
00:49:46,791 --> 00:49:48,458
and don't know
when or where it's happening?
1035
00:49:48,541 --> 00:49:51,291
Yeah. Okay, I gotta get back
to my contouring.
1036
00:49:52,458 --> 00:49:53,916
[chuckles]
1037
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:54,875
All right.
1038
00:49:58,291 --> 00:49:59,708
So hot.
1039
00:49:59,791 --> 00:50:02,416
I mean, even just an hour a night,
that would be amazing.
1040
00:50:02,500 --> 00:50:04,000
-I can make that happen.
-Yeah.
1041
00:50:04,083 --> 00:50:04,916
Okay.
1042
00:50:06,875 --> 00:50:07,833
What's going on?
1043
00:50:07,916 --> 00:50:08,833
[sighs]
1044
00:50:08,916 --> 00:50:12,541
Why are you guys acting sus?
What? Don't say…
1045
00:50:13,291 --> 00:50:16,916
Are you two together? Oh my God.
I'm not calling you Mum!
1046
00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:20,291
Martha tells me you're already
falling behind in your classes.
1047
00:50:20,375 --> 00:50:22,833
Are you doing crack cocaine?
1048
00:50:22,916 --> 00:50:24,166
No.
1049
00:50:24,250 --> 00:50:27,208
Dad, I'm just still adjusting.
1050
00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:30,833
I just found out there were
eight more Fast and Furious movies.
1051
00:50:30,916 --> 00:50:34,375
I just wanna make sure that you're giving
your schoolwork the attention it deserves.
1052
00:50:34,458 --> 00:50:36,625
Well, I've just been really busy
1053
00:50:36,708 --> 00:50:38,875
with super important stuff,
like making friends.
1054
00:50:38,958 --> 00:50:41,500
-Well, good. I'm… That's great.
-[Jim] Mm-hmm.
1055
00:50:41,583 --> 00:50:43,583
-But you can still do your homework.
-Yep!
1056
00:50:43,666 --> 00:50:46,041
[Martha] You're smart, Steph,
always have been.
1057
00:50:46,125 --> 00:50:48,625
I don't wanna see you
use this second chance incorrectly.
1058
00:50:48,708 --> 00:50:51,458
Okay. Well, I've got
the solution for this.
1059
00:50:51,541 --> 00:50:52,916
No phone for the weekend.
1060
00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:54,500
-What?
-[Jim] Mm-hmm.
1061
00:50:55,541 --> 00:50:57,375
Dad, no. How else will I live?
1062
00:50:57,458 --> 00:51:00,000
You survived 20 years without solid food.
1063
00:51:00,083 --> 00:51:02,208
You can go for a weekend
without your iPhone, hon.
1064
00:51:02,291 --> 00:51:03,708
-No!
-[Jim] Hand it over.
1065
00:51:03,791 --> 00:51:06,083
-Are you being serious?
-[Jim] Yes. I am being very--
1066
00:51:06,166 --> 00:51:08,041
Are you being full serious right now?
1067
00:51:08,125 --> 00:51:10,000
-[Jim] Full serious.
-Are you from Syria?
1068
00:51:10,083 --> 00:51:11,125
I'm very serious.
1069
00:51:11,208 --> 00:51:12,458
[screams] No!
1070
00:51:13,875 --> 00:51:14,875
No!
1071
00:51:14,958 --> 00:51:17,500
-Hand me the phone.
-Here, have it, then. Have it.
1072
00:51:18,375 --> 00:51:19,208
It's a remote.
1073
00:51:19,291 --> 00:51:21,958
-[groans loudly] No!
-Uh…
1074
00:51:22,041 --> 00:51:25,291
-Get off the door frame, honey.
-No! It's my phone!
1075
00:51:25,375 --> 00:51:26,541
Give him the phone.
1076
00:51:26,625 --> 00:51:27,708
No…
1077
00:51:30,125 --> 00:51:32,666
[Martha moans and sighs]
1078
00:51:32,750 --> 00:51:34,708
Thanks a lot, Principal Martha.
1079
00:51:35,208 --> 00:51:37,791
Oh my God, Lance and Bri look so hot.
1080
00:51:37,875 --> 00:51:40,458
What the slut? They're all there.
1081
00:51:40,541 --> 00:51:42,416
Can I… can I have my phone back now?
1082
00:51:42,500 --> 00:51:44,208
Oh my God.
1083
00:51:44,291 --> 00:51:46,625
Guys, what kind of psycho world is this
1084
00:51:46,708 --> 00:51:49,708
where the cheerleaders
don't get invited to a party? Hello!
1085
00:51:49,791 --> 00:51:51,833
Are they stupid? We are the party!
1086
00:51:51,916 --> 00:51:53,666
Babe, of course we weren't invited.
1087
00:51:53,750 --> 00:51:55,416
-It's DM VIP.
-Yeah.
1088
00:51:55,500 --> 00:51:57,583
You only get to go to them
if they follow you.
1089
00:51:57,666 --> 00:51:58,916
Only the hot, cool people.
1090
00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:01,500
-Yeah.
-Well, yeah, but we are hot and cool.
1091
00:52:01,583 --> 00:52:02,916
-Thank you.
-[Janet] Um,
1092
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:05,458
four years of not getting invited
to those parties,
1093
00:52:05,541 --> 00:52:08,416
the message gets, like, very clear.
[chuckles] We're not.
1094
00:52:09,125 --> 00:52:12,791
This is kind of like a party.
I can have my dad pop in a Di.
1095
00:52:14,916 --> 00:52:16,041
It means "DiGiorno."
1096
00:52:16,125 --> 00:52:18,833
-Oh, oh, oh.
-No, I'm talking about a "party" party.
1097
00:52:18,916 --> 00:52:22,541
I can't have video record of me partying.
The media's gonna use it to try
1098
00:52:22,625 --> 00:52:25,833
and discredit me when I run for office,
like they did with AOC.
1099
00:52:25,916 --> 00:52:26,750
No.
1100
00:52:27,541 --> 00:52:31,625
Okay, guys, you need to listen up,
all right? This is now serious.
1101
00:52:31,708 --> 00:52:33,583
[inhales and exhales]
1102
00:52:33,666 --> 00:52:37,250
We need to dance
because we need to show everybody
1103
00:52:37,333 --> 00:52:38,666
that we are the cool ones.
1104
00:52:38,750 --> 00:52:42,708
Guys, when I was in high school,
all the popular kids treated me like shit
1105
00:52:42,791 --> 00:52:44,583
until I showed them how cool I was,
1106
00:52:44,666 --> 00:52:48,708
which is so cool that
the most popular girl in high school,
1107
00:52:48,791 --> 00:52:51,458
her boyfriend dumped her for me.
1108
00:52:52,291 --> 00:52:54,416
-And you know who that was?
-Who?
1109
00:52:55,333 --> 00:52:57,041
-Bri's mom.
-[both] Tiffany?
1110
00:52:58,083 --> 00:52:59,083
And that guy,
1111
00:53:00,458 --> 00:53:01,291
Bri's dad.
1112
00:53:01,375 --> 00:53:03,291
♪ Oh my God ♪
1113
00:53:03,375 --> 00:53:04,791
[gasps] What?
1114
00:53:04,875 --> 00:53:10,000
And once you've blown someone's dad,
you realize they're not that scary.
1115
00:53:10,083 --> 00:53:11,208
-Hmm.
-Good to know.
1116
00:53:11,291 --> 00:53:12,416
Yeah, I mean…
1117
00:53:12,500 --> 00:53:16,875
So, everybody, watch and learn.
1118
00:53:16,958 --> 00:53:17,916
-Let's dance.
-Okay.
1119
00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:20,541
Okay, can you hit play?
Yeah, nice fingering.
1120
00:53:20,625 --> 00:53:23,000
["U Drive Me Crazy" (The Stop Remix!)
by Britney Spears plays]
1121
00:53:23,083 --> 00:53:24,625
♪ Crazy ♪
1122
00:53:25,166 --> 00:53:29,500
♪ Baby, I'm so into you ♪
1123
00:53:30,166 --> 00:53:34,250
♪ You got that something
What can I do? ♪
1124
00:53:34,833 --> 00:53:39,041
♪ Baby, you spin me around ♪
1125
00:53:39,125 --> 00:53:41,500
-Yeah. Okay, get into it, guys.
-♪ The earth is moving ♪
1126
00:53:41,583 --> 00:53:43,791
-♪ But I can't feel the ground ♪
-Like, hips, shoulders.
1127
00:53:44,416 --> 00:53:48,666
♪ Every time you look at me ♪
1128
00:53:49,250 --> 00:53:51,041
♪ My heart is jumping ♪
1129
00:53:51,125 --> 00:53:52,875
♪ It's easy to see ♪
1130
00:53:52,958 --> 00:53:55,625
♪ You drive me crazy ♪
1131
00:53:55,708 --> 00:53:57,666
♪ I just can't sleep ♪
1132
00:53:58,458 --> 00:54:00,375
♪ I'm so excited ♪
1133
00:54:00,458 --> 00:54:02,166
♪ I'm in too deep ♪
1134
00:54:02,250 --> 00:54:05,000
♪ Whoa, oh, oh, crazy ♪
1135
00:54:05,083 --> 00:54:07,500
♪ But it feels all right ♪
1136
00:54:08,208 --> 00:54:11,958
♪ Baby, thinking of you
Keeps me up all night ♪
1137
00:54:14,416 --> 00:54:15,250
♪ Oh ♪
1138
00:54:16,541 --> 00:54:18,458
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
1139
00:54:19,500 --> 00:54:21,750
♪ You drive me crazy ♪
1140
00:54:21,833 --> 00:54:24,208
-♪ Oh ♪
-Sing it!
1141
00:54:24,291 --> 00:54:27,125
-♪ Oh, crazy ♪
-Yeah!
1142
00:54:27,708 --> 00:54:29,166
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
1143
00:54:29,666 --> 00:54:33,333
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
1144
00:54:33,416 --> 00:54:36,625
-Stop!
-[music stops]
1145
00:54:39,083 --> 00:54:43,625
-[music starts]
-♪ Ooh, oh, yeah ♪
1146
00:54:44,208 --> 00:54:48,500
♪ You drive me crazy, baby ♪
1147
00:54:48,583 --> 00:54:52,208
♪ Get excited, I'm in too deep ♪
1148
00:54:52,291 --> 00:54:53,750
♪ Oh ♪
1149
00:54:53,833 --> 00:54:58,125
♪ Oh my, it feels all right ♪
1150
00:54:58,208 --> 00:55:02,166
♪ Baby, thinking of you
Keeps me up all night ♪
1151
00:55:03,250 --> 00:55:05,958
All right, guys, we have a show to put on.
1152
00:55:06,041 --> 00:55:07,708
[chuckles and pants]
1153
00:55:07,791 --> 00:55:09,291
Please don't blow my dad.
1154
00:55:12,375 --> 00:55:15,416
Now, don't worry.
I've spoken with the school nurse,
1155
00:55:15,500 --> 00:55:17,833
and with less than three weeks
until graduation,
1156
00:55:17,916 --> 00:55:22,000
we are prepared
for an epidemic of senioritis.
1157
00:55:22,083 --> 00:55:24,666
-[crowd laughs sarcastically]
-[Blaine clears throat]
1158
00:55:24,750 --> 00:55:26,333
[speaks through cough] Freshmen suck.
1159
00:55:27,125 --> 00:55:31,000
Um, okay. So without further ado,
please join me in welcoming
1160
00:55:31,083 --> 00:55:34,666
the president of the Harding High PTA,
Tiffany Balbo.
1161
00:55:36,125 --> 00:55:38,125
-[upbeat music plays]
-[crowd applauds]
1162
00:55:42,333 --> 00:55:43,500
Hi!
1163
00:55:44,083 --> 00:55:45,125
[Tiffany] Thank you.
1164
00:55:45,208 --> 00:55:47,958
And I know she's the principal, boo.
1165
00:55:48,041 --> 00:55:49,000
[laughs] Boo.
1166
00:55:49,083 --> 00:55:52,875
-But give it up for Miss Riser, everyone.
-[crowd boos]
1167
00:55:52,958 --> 00:55:55,000
-Stop it.
-[laughs] Sorry. Sorry.
1168
00:55:55,083 --> 00:55:59,375
Okay. What a special evening
we get to share with our kids
1169
00:55:59,458 --> 00:56:01,916
before they go off to adulthood.
1170
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:04,875
Okay, guys,
the energy in this place is sucking wiens.
1171
00:56:04,958 --> 00:56:06,833
We need to get out there
and rock their worlds.
1172
00:56:06,916 --> 00:56:07,958
Oh, and here's this.
1173
00:56:08,041 --> 00:56:09,291
Huh?
1174
00:56:09,375 --> 00:56:11,083
-It's the music for the routine.
-Oh, yes.
1175
00:56:11,166 --> 00:56:14,208
Thank you for the computer tampon.
Shove that where that goes.
1176
00:56:14,291 --> 00:56:16,000
Really, guys, you're the bomb diggity.
1177
00:56:16,083 --> 00:56:17,291
-All of you.
-[all] Aw!
1178
00:56:17,375 --> 00:56:20,166
I love you,
and we're gonna crush the sluts and--
1179
00:56:20,250 --> 00:56:24,083
Oh, it's the big finale, you guys.
It's the big finale!
1180
00:56:24,166 --> 00:56:25,625
I'm so proud of you.
1181
00:56:25,708 --> 00:56:28,000
You pumped to go out there
and change some minds?
1182
00:56:28,083 --> 00:56:28,958
[all agreeing]
1183
00:56:29,041 --> 00:56:31,916
And just remember, this is all I have.
1184
00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:33,958
[Tiffany speaks indistinctly]
1185
00:56:34,791 --> 00:56:35,791
[Martha sighs]
1186
00:56:36,833 --> 00:56:39,833
And real quick,
due to the custom table-scapes,
1187
00:56:39,916 --> 00:56:43,791
the prom ticket prices have gone
from $48 to $93.
1188
00:56:43,875 --> 00:56:46,333
-We take Venmo and PayPal and Zelle.
-[crowd grumbles]
1189
00:56:46,416 --> 00:56:47,666
Thank you so much!
1190
00:56:47,750 --> 00:56:48,666
[crowd applauds]
1191
00:56:48,750 --> 00:56:49,750
[whistles]
1192
00:56:50,958 --> 00:56:52,333
Yeah!
1193
00:56:52,416 --> 00:56:54,291
Okay. Thank you, parents.
1194
00:56:54,375 --> 00:56:55,916
Speaking of prom,
1195
00:56:56,000 --> 00:56:59,666
making good choices is at the forefront
of every school function,
1196
00:56:59,750 --> 00:57:03,583
so to help us illustrate that,
please welcome our radical Bulldogettes.
1197
00:57:03,666 --> 00:57:05,666
[crowd cheers]
1198
00:57:12,041 --> 00:57:13,708
-Ready?
-[cheerleaders] Consent!
1199
00:57:13,791 --> 00:57:17,708
♪ C, O, N, S, E, N, T ♪
1200
00:57:17,791 --> 00:57:21,458
♪ I don't touch you
And you don't touch me ♪
1201
00:57:21,541 --> 00:57:23,708
♪ Unless we both fully agree ♪
1202
00:57:23,791 --> 00:57:24,625
♪ Consent ♪
1203
00:57:24,708 --> 00:57:26,500
Yeah!
1204
00:57:27,041 --> 00:57:30,458
[girl] Let's go!
Let's hear it for consent!
1205
00:57:30,541 --> 00:57:32,125
["Strike It Up" by Black Box plays]
1206
00:57:32,208 --> 00:57:33,500
♪ Yeah ♪
1207
00:57:33,583 --> 00:57:34,666
♪ Strike it up ♪
1208
00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:37,083
♪ Yeah ♪
1209
00:57:38,250 --> 00:57:40,916
-♪ No, no, no, no ♪
-♪ Yeah ♪
1210
00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:42,166
♪ Strike it up ♪
1211
00:57:42,250 --> 00:57:43,750
♪ No ♪
1212
00:57:44,291 --> 00:57:45,791
♪ No means no ♪
1213
00:57:48,916 --> 00:57:50,708
Are you ready for the remix?
1214
00:57:51,291 --> 00:57:52,333
♪ One ♪
1215
00:57:52,416 --> 00:57:54,541
♪ I can't help I was born like this ♪
1216
00:57:54,625 --> 00:57:56,291
♪ Ain't my fault that you want my drip ♪
1217
00:57:56,375 --> 00:57:58,375
♪ Little bitter bitch
Could have been my friend ♪
1218
00:57:58,458 --> 00:58:00,583
♪ Now you gotta listen
While I pop my shit ♪
1219
00:58:00,666 --> 00:58:02,750
♪ Fast, I'm coming in fast ♪
1220
00:58:02,833 --> 00:58:04,458
♪ First place, you coming in last ♪
1221
00:58:04,541 --> 00:58:06,875
♪ I'm hitting that, hitting that gas ♪
1222
00:58:06,958 --> 00:58:08,791
♪ I'm hitting that, hitting that ♪
1223
00:58:08,875 --> 00:58:10,583
♪ Locomotion ♪
1224
00:58:10,666 --> 00:58:12,750
♪ We causing a commotion ♪
1225
00:58:12,833 --> 00:58:16,875
♪ I put it in, I put it in
I put it in motion ♪
1226
00:58:16,958 --> 00:58:19,375
♪ I put it in, I put it in ♪
1227
00:58:19,458 --> 00:58:21,125
-♪ I put it in motion ♪
-Oh my God.
1228
00:58:21,208 --> 00:58:22,833
♪ My back is aching, my bra too tight ♪
1229
00:58:22,916 --> 00:58:25,250
♪ You mad as hell that I shine so bright ♪
1230
00:58:25,333 --> 00:58:27,166
♪ My back is aching, my bra too tight ♪
1231
00:58:27,250 --> 00:58:29,375
♪ Ass jiggling, I know that's right ♪
1232
00:58:29,458 --> 00:58:33,416
♪ Cah, ah, ah, ah, ah, consent ♪
1233
00:58:35,000 --> 00:58:38,583
-Did they just touch their--
-Just shut up. Shut up.
1234
00:58:38,666 --> 00:58:39,833
Yeah!
1235
00:58:39,916 --> 00:58:40,875
[crowd applauds]
1236
00:58:40,958 --> 00:58:44,041
Bulldogs, fuck yeah! Yeah! Whoo!
1237
00:58:44,125 --> 00:58:47,666
-You are a father.
-They brought it back. I am a father.
1238
00:58:48,458 --> 00:58:49,291
Ooh.
1239
00:58:51,333 --> 00:58:52,416
[moans]
1240
00:58:55,166 --> 00:58:57,500
-Damn, Conway!
-Oh!
1241
00:58:58,083 --> 00:59:00,500
-Blaine! Oh my God! Oh my God.
-Whoo!
1242
00:59:00,583 --> 00:59:01,958
Watching you up there.
1243
00:59:02,041 --> 00:59:03,791
-Shut up.
-No, it's true!
1244
00:59:03,875 --> 00:59:05,750
-Shut up! Look at you!
-Yeah?
1245
00:59:05,833 --> 00:59:07,125
Look at you now. You're such a--
1246
00:59:07,208 --> 00:59:09,625
I'm a DILF. I know. Who would've thought?
1247
00:59:09,708 --> 00:59:10,916
-[Steph] Hmm.
-Hmm.
1248
00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:13,625
Oh, and I wanted to say
I thought it was so cool
1249
00:59:13,708 --> 00:59:16,416
that I was one of the first places
you stopped when you woke up.
1250
00:59:16,500 --> 00:59:19,708
I can't tell you how many times
I've thought of you over the past years.
1251
00:59:19,791 --> 00:59:20,833
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
1252
00:59:22,125 --> 00:59:23,916
Well, even though
I was pretty much brain-dead,
1253
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:25,875
you were the one
that kept my heart beating.
1254
00:59:25,958 --> 00:59:29,333
Well, listen, I'll just say,
you let me know
1255
00:59:29,416 --> 00:59:32,500
if you ever want to take
another trip down memory Blaine.
1256
00:59:32,583 --> 00:59:34,916
-Yeah, but, Blaine, what about Tiff?
-Eh.
1257
00:59:35,500 --> 00:59:37,166
Didn't stop us the first time. [chuckles]
1258
00:59:38,083 --> 00:59:40,125
What? You said you two were broken up.
1259
00:59:40,208 --> 00:59:42,375
It's, uh… You know, I don't…
1260
00:59:43,625 --> 00:59:45,000
[mumbles]
1261
00:59:45,083 --> 00:59:46,208
-[Steph] What?
-I was joking.
1262
00:59:46,291 --> 00:59:49,208
I haven't forgotten
about your whole "no cheating" rule.
1263
00:59:49,291 --> 00:59:52,041
Yeah, which is why we can't be together.
1264
00:59:53,333 --> 00:59:54,166
Yet.
1265
00:59:55,416 --> 00:59:57,291
But if you're the man
that I think you are…
1266
00:59:59,583 --> 01:00:01,458
I'm sure you'll make the right choice.
1267
01:00:01,541 --> 01:00:02,958
Yeah. No, I…
1268
01:00:04,041 --> 01:00:04,958
[Steph] Oh, sh…
1269
01:00:06,375 --> 01:00:07,333
[Blaine] Hmm.
1270
01:00:14,416 --> 01:00:15,250
Conway.
1271
01:00:15,333 --> 01:00:17,625
["Man! I Feel Like a Woman"
by Shania Twain plays]
1272
01:00:17,708 --> 01:00:18,583
♪ Let's go, girls ♪
1273
01:00:22,041 --> 01:00:22,875
♪ Come on ♪
1274
01:00:23,500 --> 01:00:24,458
[cell phone chimes]
1275
01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:27,833
♪ I'm going out tonight ♪
1276
01:00:27,916 --> 01:00:30,000
♪ I'm feelin' all right ♪
1277
01:00:30,083 --> 01:00:34,000
-[chiming]
-♪ Gonna let it all hang out ♪
1278
01:00:34,083 --> 01:00:37,875
♪ Wanna make some noise
Really raise my voice ♪
1279
01:00:37,958 --> 01:00:41,791
♪ Yeah, I wanna scream and shout ♪
1280
01:00:41,875 --> 01:00:44,500
[Jim] Stephanie,
can you come down here, please?
1281
01:00:44,583 --> 01:00:45,541
[groans]
1282
01:00:45,625 --> 01:00:47,125
♪ No inhibitions ♪
1283
01:00:47,208 --> 01:00:49,500
♪ Make no conditions… ♪
1284
01:00:50,083 --> 01:00:53,500
"Stephanie, we support
Instagram stars like you
1285
01:00:53,583 --> 01:00:56,166
who share Hostess' commitment
to never growing old."
1286
01:00:56,250 --> 01:00:58,041
♪ I only wanna have… ♪
1287
01:00:58,125 --> 01:01:01,500
"Warmest wishes from your friends
at Canada Goose." That is sick!
1288
01:01:02,333 --> 01:01:03,375
"Let's be buds."
1289
01:01:04,083 --> 01:01:06,083
Holy shit.
1290
01:01:06,166 --> 01:01:08,666
♪ Is the prerogative
To have a little fun and ♪
1291
01:01:09,250 --> 01:01:12,375
♪ Oh-oh-oh, go totally crazy ♪
1292
01:01:12,458 --> 01:01:14,875
♪ Forget I'm a lady ♪
1293
01:01:14,958 --> 01:01:17,125
♪ Men's shirts, short skirts ♪
1294
01:01:17,208 --> 01:01:19,333
♪ Oh-oh-oh, really go wild ♪
1295
01:01:19,416 --> 01:01:22,791
♪ Yeah, doin' it in style ♪
1296
01:01:22,875 --> 01:01:25,416
♪ Oh-oh-oh, I wanna be free ♪
1297
01:01:25,500 --> 01:01:29,333
♪ Yeah, to feel the way I feel ♪
1298
01:01:29,833 --> 01:01:32,500
♪ Man, I feel like a woman ♪
1299
01:01:32,583 --> 01:01:35,541
I don't get what the big deal was.
We were just dancing!
1300
01:01:35,625 --> 01:01:39,791
Steph, the big deal is that I told you
that we don't do that anymore,
1301
01:01:39,875 --> 01:01:42,250
and you went
and did it anyway behind my back.
1302
01:01:42,333 --> 01:01:45,000
Are you really mad?
Or is this because Tiff yelled at you?
1303
01:01:45,083 --> 01:01:45,958
Oh, Steph!
1304
01:01:46,041 --> 01:01:48,625
You can't let her bully you,
I've always said that.
1305
01:01:48,708 --> 01:01:50,250
It's not about Tiffany.
1306
01:01:50,333 --> 01:01:51,375
I care about this
1307
01:01:51,458 --> 01:01:54,833
because what you did up there,
it wasn't school-appropriate.
1308
01:01:54,916 --> 01:01:56,000
You fondled yourself
1309
01:01:56,083 --> 01:01:59,166
for an unsuspecting audience
in a routine about consent.
1310
01:01:59,250 --> 01:02:01,416
But I gave myself consent
1311
01:02:02,000 --> 01:02:03,583
to do that to myself.
1312
01:02:03,666 --> 01:02:05,458
Stop stroking your nipples.
1313
01:02:05,541 --> 01:02:07,291
Marth, what is going on here?
1314
01:02:07,375 --> 01:02:09,250
The cheerleaders aren't allowed to dance.
1315
01:02:09,333 --> 01:02:10,833
You took away prom queen.
1316
01:02:10,916 --> 01:02:13,833
You turned the cafeteria
into a Hogwarts without the magic.
1317
01:02:13,916 --> 01:02:15,750
Are you trying
to make this place suck wiens?
1318
01:02:15,833 --> 01:02:19,958
Number one, how dare you?
It is like Hogwarts with the magic.
1319
01:02:20,541 --> 01:02:24,750
And number two,
it doesn't suck wiens. It's nice.
1320
01:02:24,833 --> 01:02:26,791
It's… it's nice here.
1321
01:02:26,875 --> 01:02:29,833
-I had more fun in a coma.
-You did not have more fun in the coma.
1322
01:02:29,916 --> 01:02:32,250
I had more fun going like this.
1323
01:02:32,333 --> 01:02:34,625
[snores]
1324
01:02:34,708 --> 01:02:35,666
[Martha] Stephanie.
1325
01:02:35,750 --> 01:02:38,333
That was way more fun
than this high school.
1326
01:02:38,416 --> 01:02:43,166
Steph, this may come as a shock to you,
but for most kids, high school sucks.
1327
01:02:43,250 --> 01:02:46,916
I don't know why you're acting
like we didn't have the same experience.
1328
01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:48,583
High school was awesome!
1329
01:02:48,666 --> 01:02:53,125
Freshman year, you bailed on Seth and I
to go be some popular girl.
1330
01:02:53,208 --> 01:02:56,666
No, I didn't bail. I just got more friends
1331
01:02:56,750 --> 01:02:58,916
and a really hot boyfriend.
1332
01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:01,541
Seriously, if you'd had a boyfriend,
you would have understood.
1333
01:03:01,625 --> 01:03:04,875
Stephanie, I wouldn't understand
because I'm gay.
1334
01:03:04,958 --> 01:03:07,291
[gasps] Ooh, you can't say that word,
unless you're saying it
1335
01:03:07,375 --> 01:03:10,708
in a neutral-positive way
to refer to someone that is…
1336
01:03:13,250 --> 01:03:14,375
Mm-hmm.
1337
01:03:15,708 --> 01:03:16,583
Oh.
1338
01:03:17,666 --> 01:03:18,500
[Martha] Yeah.
1339
01:03:18,583 --> 01:03:23,208
And it… it made high school
a living hell for me.
1340
01:03:25,000 --> 01:03:26,708
Back then, I felt very alone
1341
01:03:27,708 --> 01:03:32,375
and angry and so threatened
1342
01:03:32,458 --> 01:03:38,083
that if I showed one iota of my real self,
then I would be ripped to shreds
1343
01:03:39,375 --> 01:03:43,041
by Tiffany or Blaine or you.
1344
01:03:43,625 --> 01:03:44,500
Me?
1345
01:03:45,750 --> 01:03:47,875
No way. Why would you even say that?
1346
01:03:47,958 --> 01:03:51,541
Because, Steph,
sometimes I didn't know who you were.
1347
01:03:53,208 --> 01:03:54,833
Or… are.
1348
01:03:56,166 --> 01:03:57,291
Look, let's…
1349
01:03:57,375 --> 01:03:59,583
There's three weeks left
of the school year.
1350
01:03:59,666 --> 01:04:03,000
So let's just get through those
as peacefully as possible,
1351
01:04:03,083 --> 01:04:06,500
and then I can go
to my family's lake house for the summer.
1352
01:04:08,958 --> 01:04:12,916
[teacher] The periodic table
is made up of 119 elements.
1353
01:04:13,000 --> 01:04:16,666
Oh, hey, space nerds. JK, JK.
1354
01:04:16,750 --> 01:04:20,000
Any of you want to come see Deep Impact
with me and Blaine this weekend?
1355
01:04:20,583 --> 01:04:23,291
As part of my collab
with the Natural History Museum,
1356
01:04:23,375 --> 01:04:28,166
you will get 20% off ticket prices
and complimentary space ice cream.
1357
01:04:28,250 --> 01:04:30,833
So come watch
the end of the world with us.
1358
01:04:30,916 --> 01:04:33,666
[teacher] Remember it just for me. Please.
1359
01:04:33,750 --> 01:04:36,250
-[scanner beeps]
-No one's gonna read you.
1360
01:04:38,250 --> 01:04:40,416
[chuckles] Oh boy,
no one's gonna read you.
1361
01:04:41,166 --> 01:04:42,708
Are you talking to the books?
1362
01:04:43,208 --> 01:04:46,416
-Oh, yeah, I find it helps them grow.
-Still a dork.
1363
01:04:46,500 --> 01:04:48,375
-Huh.
-[Steph] So…
1364
01:04:48,458 --> 01:04:49,333
Uh,
1365
01:04:50,000 --> 01:04:53,041
do you, like, still wanna see Deep Impact?
1366
01:04:53,125 --> 01:04:54,208
[scanner beeps]
1367
01:04:54,791 --> 01:04:56,166
[Seth] I'm gonna get some popcorn.
1368
01:04:56,250 --> 01:05:00,875
Maybe some freeze-dried space ice cream.
Maybe some Milk Duds, some Whoppers,
1369
01:05:00,958 --> 01:05:04,083
some Juicy Fruit.
I gotta keep this girlish figure.
1370
01:05:04,166 --> 01:05:05,708
You want anything, or…
1371
01:05:05,791 --> 01:05:09,333
Um, oh, no, no, no, don't go just yet.
Just hang here for one second.
1372
01:05:09,416 --> 01:05:10,375
Yeah, sure.
1373
01:05:10,458 --> 01:05:14,791
Oh my God, Seth, you're such a gentleman
going to get the snacks.
1374
01:05:14,875 --> 01:05:17,708
Oh my God, I swear,
you have such a massive dick.
1375
01:05:17,791 --> 01:05:20,833
-What did you say?
-What? Oh, Blaine, Tiffany.
1376
01:05:20,916 --> 01:05:22,958
-Hi!
-Hi! What are you doing here?
1377
01:05:23,041 --> 01:05:24,458
What a coincidence.
1378
01:05:24,541 --> 01:05:27,125
I'm, um, here on a date with Seth.
1379
01:05:27,208 --> 01:05:29,416
He asked me out, and I said,
1380
01:05:29,500 --> 01:05:32,958
"You know what? I am single
and so horny, so yes."
1381
01:05:33,041 --> 01:05:34,875
-Isn't that right?
-Yep.
1382
01:05:34,958 --> 01:05:35,833
Really?
1383
01:05:35,916 --> 01:05:38,208
Wait, I'm sorry.
You are on a date with Sethany?
1384
01:05:38,291 --> 01:05:40,916
-Well, it's just Seth.
-[Tiffany chuckles]
1385
01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:44,041
Relax. I'm just joking. [chuckles]
1386
01:05:44,125 --> 01:05:46,666
Well, yeah,
we're just here to see a movie.
1387
01:05:46,750 --> 01:05:49,291
It's not like
we're gonna have hot, consensual sex
1388
01:05:49,375 --> 01:05:50,583
when the lights go down.
1389
01:05:50,666 --> 01:05:53,333
[coughs] Mm-hmm. Hmm. Hmm?
1390
01:05:53,416 --> 01:05:55,041
Wow! Uh…
1391
01:05:55,125 --> 01:05:58,541
Wow, Seth, it only took 20 years
and some brain damage,
1392
01:05:58,625 --> 01:06:01,375
but she finally agreed
to go out with you. Way to go!
1393
01:06:02,083 --> 01:06:04,250
Again, just joking. [laughs]
1394
01:06:04,333 --> 01:06:06,333
[laughs sarcastically]
1395
01:06:06,416 --> 01:06:08,166
-[Steph] Hilarious.
-Let's go find our seats.
1396
01:06:08,250 --> 01:06:10,333
-Huh?
-Let's go find our seats.
1397
01:06:11,541 --> 01:06:14,458
-We gotta go find our seats.
-Down in front, yep.
1398
01:06:14,541 --> 01:06:15,416
Yeah.
1399
01:06:16,125 --> 01:06:18,041
-Oh, yeah. [sucks teeth]
-"Sethany."
1400
01:06:18,833 --> 01:06:20,958
[dramatic music plays]
1401
01:06:27,583 --> 01:06:29,208
[whispers] Feed me some popcorn.
1402
01:06:30,375 --> 01:06:31,750
Are you serious about that?
1403
01:06:32,541 --> 01:06:36,666
Yeah, just be awesome.
Just… just toss some into my mouth.
1404
01:06:36,750 --> 01:06:37,625
All right.
1405
01:06:40,833 --> 01:06:42,708
[laughs]
1406
01:06:42,791 --> 01:06:43,791
[Steph] Seth!
1407
01:06:44,750 --> 01:06:47,833
Oh my God. It's stuck in my throat.
Oh, I'm choking.
1408
01:06:47,916 --> 01:06:50,666
-No, I really… I just got a Milk Dud.
-Did you actually choke on that?
1409
01:06:50,750 --> 01:06:52,958
Yeah, it's stuck right there,
but it's all right.
1410
01:06:53,041 --> 01:06:54,875
I thought that was
a euphemism kind of thing.
1411
01:06:54,958 --> 01:06:56,833
-Fire tether pitons.
-Pitons fired.
1412
01:06:57,375 --> 01:06:59,125
[spaceship whooshes]
1413
01:06:59,208 --> 01:07:00,833
[straw creaks]
1414
01:07:02,708 --> 01:07:05,125
[moans]
1415
01:07:06,083 --> 01:07:09,875
[continues moaning]
1416
01:07:10,666 --> 01:07:12,541
-[whispers] Stop it.
-[whispers] What?
1417
01:07:12,625 --> 01:07:15,833
You're eye-fucking Stephanie so hard,
she'll need the morning-after pill.
1418
01:07:15,916 --> 01:07:18,000
[Blaine] I am not eye-fucking anybody.
1419
01:07:18,083 --> 01:07:21,916
It is embarrassing. Do you want me
to call Dr. Wilbin for more therapy?
1420
01:07:22,000 --> 01:07:24,625
-Don't threaten me with a good time.
-Shut up!
1421
01:07:24,708 --> 01:07:27,833
Bitch, turn your ugly face around
and watch the movie.
1422
01:07:27,916 --> 01:07:29,833
[Blaine] Careful how you talk
to senior citizens.
1423
01:07:29,916 --> 01:07:30,916
Shut up, Blaine.
1424
01:07:31,000 --> 01:07:33,625
Ma'am, I'm gonna have
to ask you to be quiet.
1425
01:07:33,708 --> 01:07:34,916
I am not the problem.
1426
01:07:35,000 --> 01:07:37,416
There is a freaking porno
happening over there!
1427
01:07:38,000 --> 01:07:40,041
-What?
-[Tiffany] Don't put that on my face.
1428
01:07:40,125 --> 01:07:42,291
It is not my fault.
I am not doing anything.
1429
01:07:42,375 --> 01:07:45,541
Be quiet. I'm trying to watch the movie.
1430
01:07:45,625 --> 01:07:47,500
You're afraid you'll miss something?
1431
01:07:47,583 --> 01:07:48,958
The asteroid hits,
1432
01:07:49,041 --> 01:07:53,125
and Téa Leoni and her Austrian dad
get hit by a ginormous wave.
1433
01:07:53,208 --> 01:07:54,416
-[crowd] Aw.
-What?
1434
01:07:54,500 --> 01:07:57,375
Oh, come on! We all knew that!
1435
01:07:57,458 --> 01:07:59,083
Can you… [hisses]
1436
01:07:59,833 --> 01:08:00,833
-Sorry.
-Ma'am?
1437
01:08:00,916 --> 01:08:02,041
I…
1438
01:08:02,125 --> 01:08:04,708
-Ma'am, come with me.
-Okay, fine. Blaine?
1439
01:08:04,791 --> 01:08:06,708
What is the name of your manager?
1440
01:08:07,208 --> 01:08:10,416
Sir? I am going to have
to email your manager.
1441
01:08:10,500 --> 01:08:13,541
[crowd applauding, cheers]
1442
01:08:15,958 --> 01:08:17,416
-[Seth laughs]
-[Steph] Ah!
1443
01:08:17,500 --> 01:08:20,625
Two decades later, and I still love
watching Tiff lose her mind.
1444
01:08:20,708 --> 01:08:24,416
-I mean, that was incredibly satisfying.
-Mm-hmm.
1445
01:08:24,500 --> 01:08:25,625
Okay, now I understand
1446
01:08:25,708 --> 01:08:28,458
why you devoted so much of your time
on it in high school. [laughs]
1447
01:08:28,541 --> 01:08:30,833
-Well, not the whole time.
-Oh?
1448
01:08:30,916 --> 01:08:34,166
Just all of my junior,
sophomore, and most of my senior year.
1449
01:08:34,250 --> 01:08:35,125
Mm. Mm-hmm.
1450
01:08:35,708 --> 01:08:38,416
Anyways, Marth told me
something about you in high school.
1451
01:08:38,500 --> 01:08:40,583
Oh God. What?
1452
01:08:41,333 --> 01:08:44,166
She said that you had
a crush on me. [chuckles]
1453
01:08:45,041 --> 01:08:45,875
Yes.
1454
01:08:46,500 --> 01:08:50,208
When we were in high school,
I was very much in love with you.
1455
01:08:50,291 --> 01:08:51,500
Seth!
1456
01:08:51,583 --> 01:08:53,333
-Eh.
-You were? Really?
1457
01:08:53,416 --> 01:08:55,916
-Eh.
-Why didn't you ever say anything?
1458
01:08:56,000 --> 01:08:58,666
[hesitates] 'Cause, you know,
we were friends.
1459
01:08:58,750 --> 01:09:00,375
-Yeah.
-And you were with Blaine.
1460
01:09:00,458 --> 01:09:03,375
And, you know, we both know
what your answer would've been.
1461
01:09:03,458 --> 01:09:07,208
Maybe, maybe not.
We're hanging out right now, aren't we?
1462
01:09:07,291 --> 01:09:10,916
Yeah, but that's only because you thought
you could use me to make Blaine jealous.
1463
01:09:11,875 --> 01:09:14,958
Steph, come on. I'm a full-blown adult.
1464
01:09:15,041 --> 01:09:17,875
I think I can recognize
a teenage trick when I see one.
1465
01:09:17,958 --> 01:09:20,791
That's not what's going on.
1466
01:09:20,875 --> 01:09:24,500
Oh, come on, you used to pull this with me
and Marth all the time in high school.
1467
01:09:24,583 --> 01:09:27,625
You'd use our attention
to make the popular kids crave yours.
1468
01:09:27,708 --> 01:09:29,416
Um, did I?
1469
01:09:29,916 --> 01:09:30,750
Yes.
1470
01:09:30,833 --> 01:09:34,208
We always wondered
if those kids ever got to really meet you.
1471
01:09:34,875 --> 01:09:35,833
Like, the real you.
1472
01:09:38,250 --> 01:09:40,875
Well, I did have
a really fun time tonight.
1473
01:09:40,958 --> 01:09:41,791
[Seth chuckles]
1474
01:09:41,875 --> 01:09:43,208
I'm… I'm sorry.
1475
01:09:43,291 --> 01:09:44,291
No, forget it.
1476
01:09:44,875 --> 01:09:46,291
So should I take you home?
1477
01:09:47,041 --> 01:09:51,041
Or we could continue to hang out.
I have an idea of where we could go.
1478
01:09:51,125 --> 01:09:53,041
[man coughs]
1479
01:09:54,000 --> 01:09:57,333
Whoa, okay. This place has changed.
1480
01:09:57,916 --> 01:09:59,791
Yeah, I think the lights are just on.
1481
01:10:00,791 --> 01:10:02,000
-[Steph] Come on.
-[Seth] Okay.
1482
01:10:04,375 --> 01:10:06,041
Bri, baby, I need favor.
1483
01:10:09,291 --> 01:10:12,416
I want you
to get prom king and queen reinstated.
1484
01:10:13,833 --> 01:10:14,708
What?
1485
01:10:15,750 --> 01:10:16,583
Mom.
1486
01:10:17,125 --> 01:10:18,791
No. No one cares about that.
1487
01:10:18,875 --> 01:10:19,833
I do.
1488
01:10:20,416 --> 01:10:23,750
I want you to beat Steph for prom queen.
1489
01:10:23,833 --> 01:10:26,750
You said it rewards archaic gender roles.
1490
01:10:26,833 --> 01:10:32,750
Well, exactly, which is why
you need to be the woke prom queen.
1491
01:10:33,916 --> 01:10:36,041
I've already got interest
from some brands,
1492
01:10:36,125 --> 01:10:37,708
and they are supes into it.
1493
01:10:37,791 --> 01:10:39,791
Mom. I'm not doing this.
1494
01:10:39,875 --> 01:10:43,166
And don't say "woke" or "supes."
1495
01:10:43,250 --> 01:10:44,916
[tense music plays]
1496
01:10:45,000 --> 01:10:46,541
Just beat Steph for mommy.
1497
01:10:47,291 --> 01:10:48,458
You owe me.
1498
01:10:48,541 --> 01:10:49,750
For what?
1499
01:10:51,458 --> 01:10:52,500
For being alive.
1500
01:10:52,583 --> 01:10:56,541
And if you wanna go on your trip to Nepal,
you will do this for me.
1501
01:10:59,833 --> 01:11:01,458
[tense music ends]
1502
01:11:01,541 --> 01:11:03,375
-Can I ask you something?
-Hmm?
1503
01:11:03,458 --> 01:11:06,166
Does it get exhausting trying to make
everybody like you all the time?
1504
01:11:07,000 --> 01:11:07,875
Well,
1505
01:11:09,208 --> 01:11:11,333
it will be worth it when I win prom queen.
1506
01:11:11,416 --> 01:11:16,416
Well, what I remember about prom
is that it was overhyped,
1507
01:11:17,166 --> 01:11:19,750
you weren't there, and it sucked.
1508
01:11:19,833 --> 01:11:23,041
-That's your memories of prom. That's it?
-Yeah, pretty much.
1509
01:11:23,125 --> 01:11:25,333
Seth! Dude, come on.
1510
01:11:26,208 --> 01:11:29,291
Did you even try to have fun? Did you
even try to tear it up on the dance floor?
1511
01:11:29,375 --> 01:11:32,083
-Just, like, give it the old groove? No!
-Yeah!
1512
01:11:32,166 --> 01:11:35,416
It wouldn't have mattered,
because prom doesn't matter,
1513
01:11:35,500 --> 01:11:37,458
especially not prom queen.
1514
01:11:38,000 --> 01:11:39,083
You maniac.
1515
01:11:39,166 --> 01:11:40,416
Come on, Steph.
1516
01:11:40,500 --> 01:11:44,083
You will yourself out of a coma,
and that's what you care about?
1517
01:11:44,166 --> 01:11:46,666
-It's more than just a crown to me.
-Hmm.
1518
01:11:47,625 --> 01:11:49,625
When I moved here to America,
1519
01:11:50,916 --> 01:11:51,958
it was so hard.
1520
01:11:52,041 --> 01:11:55,458
-Everyone made fun of me, as you remember.
-Yeah.
1521
01:11:55,541 --> 01:11:57,083
And then Mum got sick.
1522
01:11:59,125 --> 01:12:02,375
And I was miserable. I was so miserable.
1523
01:12:02,458 --> 01:12:04,833
[sad music plays]
1524
01:12:04,916 --> 01:12:07,625
And you know what she used to say
to help cheer me up?
1525
01:12:08,458 --> 01:12:13,916
She'd, like, say, "Steph, close your eyes
and imagine your perfect life."
1526
01:12:14,833 --> 01:12:17,458
"And if you can imagine it,
you can have it."
1527
01:12:18,000 --> 01:12:19,875
I was like… [scoffs] …"Shut up, Mom."
1528
01:12:21,166 --> 01:12:22,458
I didn't believe her.
1529
01:12:23,958 --> 01:12:25,125
Then she died.
1530
01:12:28,791 --> 01:12:30,875
[sobs] Then I was…
1531
01:12:31,375 --> 01:12:34,833
I didn't tell anyone, but I was…
I was more miserable than ever.
1532
01:12:35,416 --> 01:12:36,291
[sniffles]
1533
01:12:37,750 --> 01:12:41,291
And then one day when we were driving
and I saw Deanna Russo,
1534
01:12:41,375 --> 01:12:45,208
and I was like, "Whoa, she's happy."
1535
01:12:45,833 --> 01:12:47,250
And she was prom queen,
1536
01:12:48,000 --> 01:12:51,458
and I… I need to be her. Okay?
1537
01:12:52,250 --> 01:12:54,333
I wanted to be her so badly.
1538
01:12:55,541 --> 01:12:58,916
And I was getting there,
and then all of a sudden, boom. [scoffs]
1539
01:12:59,916 --> 01:13:02,416
Coma. Lights out.
1540
01:13:03,958 --> 01:13:06,458
And I was bloody miserable again.
1541
01:13:08,083 --> 01:13:09,583
Then I thought, "Well…
1542
01:13:13,291 --> 01:13:16,625
I should see if I can prove my mum right."
1543
01:13:19,708 --> 01:13:20,791
[chuckles]
1544
01:13:20,875 --> 01:13:26,375
"I should… I should really try
and get that perfect life," you know?
1545
01:13:26,916 --> 01:13:29,166
[emotional music plays]
1546
01:13:29,250 --> 01:13:32,291
Okay, definitely not just a crown.
Sorry about that. I'm an asshole.
1547
01:13:32,875 --> 01:13:34,208
No, you're… [laughs]
1548
01:13:34,291 --> 01:13:36,583
-No, you're not.
-[chuckles] All right.
1549
01:13:36,666 --> 01:13:40,333
-[Seth] Oh!
-Oh! You did it. You got it!
1550
01:13:40,416 --> 01:13:41,750
Oh my God, okay.
1551
01:13:43,166 --> 01:13:45,708
-[cheering]
-Yeah!
1552
01:13:45,791 --> 01:13:46,666
Woot, woot.
1553
01:13:47,250 --> 01:13:49,541
-Oh my God!
-That's all yours. You can have that.
1554
01:13:49,625 --> 01:13:51,208
-[chuckles]
-[toy squeaks]
1555
01:13:51,291 --> 01:13:54,583
♪ Now it's time to take my place… ♪
1556
01:13:54,666 --> 01:13:56,125
Do you wanna go to prom with me?
1557
01:13:57,000 --> 01:13:58,333
[chuckles]
1558
01:13:59,750 --> 01:14:01,583
I promise you, you'll have a good time.
1559
01:14:02,083 --> 01:14:06,791
Well, I already signed up
to be a chaperone, so, yeah, I'll go.
1560
01:14:06,875 --> 01:14:07,708
-Yeah?
-Uh-huh.
1561
01:14:08,291 --> 01:14:09,791
-Awesome!
-[laughs]
1562
01:14:10,375 --> 01:14:11,875
-Great.
-[laughs] Yeah.
1563
01:14:11,958 --> 01:14:13,083
Okay. All right. Wait.
1564
01:14:13,166 --> 01:14:15,125
-Let me try to win you something now.
-Okay. Yeah.
1565
01:14:15,208 --> 01:14:17,333
Attention Harding High seniors,
1566
01:14:17,416 --> 01:14:20,875
a petition
was just delivered to me by Bri Balbo,
1567
01:14:21,541 --> 01:14:22,416
I mean, Luvs,
1568
01:14:22,500 --> 01:14:26,166
um, officially reinstating
a king and queen election
1569
01:14:26,250 --> 01:14:27,458
at this year's prom.
1570
01:14:27,541 --> 01:14:29,500
-[gasps] What? It's back!
-[gasps] Prom?
1571
01:14:29,583 --> 01:14:31,000
Oh my God!
1572
01:14:31,083 --> 01:14:31,916
Oh my God!
1573
01:14:32,000 --> 01:14:34,833
-[shushing] Shut up!
-[both] Oh my God!
1574
01:14:34,916 --> 01:14:37,708
Obviously, I respect
the sacred privacy of student elections.
1575
01:14:37,791 --> 01:14:41,166
-But I'm totally voting for you.
-Absolutely! Later, prom queen!
1576
01:14:41,250 --> 01:14:42,916
-[Janet] Love you!
-[Yaz laughs]
1577
01:14:44,208 --> 01:14:46,291
[suspenseful music plays]
1578
01:14:56,375 --> 01:14:57,625
Can you believe it?
1579
01:14:58,625 --> 01:15:00,375
You might make history after all.
1580
01:15:00,958 --> 01:15:05,291
The first person
to ever lose prom queen twice.
1581
01:15:06,791 --> 01:15:09,208
Don't go chasing waterfalls, Steph.
1582
01:15:09,708 --> 01:15:11,333
-Skank face.
-What was that?
1583
01:15:12,708 --> 01:15:13,833
Oh, nothing.
1584
01:15:15,041 --> 01:15:16,208
Slut bag.
1585
01:15:16,708 --> 01:15:18,166
What did you just call me?
1586
01:15:18,708 --> 01:15:20,291
-Nothing.
-Possum pussy.
1587
01:15:20,375 --> 01:15:22,041
-Rumpel-slut-skin.
-Jizz collector.
1588
01:15:22,125 --> 01:15:23,291
You're a sad wife.
1589
01:15:23,375 --> 01:15:24,541
What did you say?
1590
01:15:26,125 --> 01:15:28,250
I didn't say shit, but you heard me.
1591
01:15:31,625 --> 01:15:33,500
[tense music plays]
1592
01:15:33,583 --> 01:15:36,958
[cell phones chiming]
1593
01:15:40,416 --> 01:15:41,916
[gasps] Oh my God.
1594
01:15:42,458 --> 01:15:44,666
It's an invite to a prom party at Bri's.
1595
01:15:44,750 --> 01:15:46,541
-An invite?
-Check your phone!
1596
01:15:47,541 --> 01:15:49,750
Oh my God! I got invited!
1597
01:15:49,833 --> 01:15:51,625
-Can you believe that?
-We got invited!
1598
01:15:51,708 --> 01:15:53,416
-Steve Aoki is DJing.
-Right?
1599
01:15:53,500 --> 01:15:55,250
Steve Aoki? I love it!
1600
01:15:55,333 --> 01:15:56,666
[laughs] Oh my God!
1601
01:15:56,750 --> 01:15:57,958
[chuckles]
1602
01:16:00,125 --> 01:16:04,250
Steph. Steph, we're not gonna go probably
'cause, I mean, it's a $50 cover.
1603
01:16:04,333 --> 01:16:06,250
-Oh, yeah.
-[Neil] That's so expensive.
1604
01:16:06,333 --> 01:16:07,333
I can't afford that.
1605
01:16:07,416 --> 01:16:10,666
Why didn't you tell me we were hosting it?
I'd have got that aphrodisiac wine.
1606
01:16:10,750 --> 01:16:12,166
I didn't know.
1607
01:16:13,000 --> 01:16:15,416
[tense music continues]
1608
01:16:26,166 --> 01:16:28,166
[tense music intensifies]
1609
01:16:39,208 --> 01:16:41,041
[tense music ends]
1610
01:16:41,125 --> 01:16:41,958
Hi, guys.
1611
01:16:42,041 --> 01:16:43,583
I am so pumped to announce
1612
01:16:43,666 --> 01:16:46,833
that I will be hosting the biggest
and the best prom after-party
1613
01:16:46,916 --> 01:16:48,541
at a supersecret locaish.
1614
01:16:49,041 --> 01:16:51,250
It's free to get in, unlike Bri's.
1615
01:16:52,166 --> 01:16:54,000
It's gonna be awesome.
1616
01:16:54,083 --> 01:16:57,666
So, DM me a picture of your ballot
voting me as prom queen,
1617
01:16:57,750 --> 01:16:59,708
and you'll get all the deets night of.
1618
01:17:03,333 --> 01:17:04,583
[Jim sighs]
1619
01:17:04,666 --> 01:17:06,250
This is weird for me too, sir.
1620
01:17:12,458 --> 01:17:13,666
[exhales]
1621
01:17:17,875 --> 01:17:18,875
Stephie!
1622
01:17:19,375 --> 01:17:21,208
Wanna hurry it up? [sighs]
1623
01:17:25,833 --> 01:17:26,875
You want a beer?
1624
01:17:28,083 --> 01:17:30,583
Oh, uh, sure.
1625
01:17:30,666 --> 01:17:33,125
[mimics buzzer] Wrong answer, hot rod.
1626
01:17:33,208 --> 01:17:35,500
You think I'll let you drink
and drive with my daughter?
1627
01:17:36,250 --> 01:17:38,708
Oh, well, I'm actually not driving.
We're taking a Lyft.
1628
01:17:38,791 --> 01:17:40,375
Oh, cool.
1629
01:17:41,416 --> 01:17:44,916
Though I suspect Stephanie would prefer
not to spend her prom evening
1630
01:17:45,000 --> 01:17:46,250
with a drunken fool.
1631
01:17:46,333 --> 01:17:47,666
It would just be the o--
1632
01:17:47,750 --> 01:17:50,750
No, I think I'm okay, actually.
I'll maybe have a water, if anything.
1633
01:17:50,833 --> 01:17:52,750
-Did you bring some condoms?
-[murmurs]
1634
01:17:54,375 --> 01:17:56,083
Um, no.
1635
01:17:56,166 --> 01:18:00,083
Hm. Didn't think we needed
to have this talk, but, uh, Seth,
1636
01:18:00,166 --> 01:18:04,208
you are aware that unprotected sex
can lead to geriatric pregnancies?
1637
01:18:04,291 --> 01:18:06,291
-Stephie!
-You ready to be an old dad?
1638
01:18:06,375 --> 01:18:08,750
I'm sorry, do you want me
to sleep with your daughter?
1639
01:18:08,833 --> 01:18:10,333
-Or--
-What did you just ask me?
1640
01:18:10,416 --> 01:18:12,333
-It's--
-[Steph] Okay, I'm ready!
1641
01:18:15,000 --> 01:18:17,208
[emotional music plays]
1642
01:18:19,958 --> 01:18:21,166
[sighs]
1643
01:18:24,333 --> 01:18:26,291
Mom chose great. [chuckles]
1644
01:18:26,875 --> 01:18:28,083
Yeah.
1645
01:18:28,625 --> 01:18:29,458
[chuckles]
1646
01:18:29,541 --> 01:18:31,875
-Going to prom.
-[camera shutter clicks]
1647
01:18:31,958 --> 01:18:34,375
-Oh my God. Dad, stop it.
-Don't.
1648
01:18:34,458 --> 01:18:38,083
Dad, stop it. You're embarrassing me.
1649
01:18:38,166 --> 01:18:39,708
A bit higher on the angle.
1650
01:18:39,791 --> 01:18:42,375
Dad, you're taking so many,
but take more, take more.
1651
01:18:43,041 --> 01:18:44,416
-Boy band.
-♪ Cover girl ♪
1652
01:18:44,500 --> 01:18:45,750
Okay, Dad, that's enough.
1653
01:18:45,833 --> 01:18:46,916
-Maybe just some of me?
-Oh.
1654
01:18:47,000 --> 01:18:48,041
[camera shutter clicks]
1655
01:18:48,125 --> 01:18:49,958
♪ On the runway ♪
1656
01:18:50,041 --> 01:18:51,333
-♪ Work ♪
-♪ Supermodel ♪
1657
01:18:51,416 --> 01:18:53,958
-♪ You better work it, girl ♪
-♪ Of the world ♪
1658
01:18:54,041 --> 01:18:57,416
♪ Wet your lips
And make love to the camera ♪
1659
01:18:57,500 --> 01:18:59,291
-♪ Work ♪
-♪ Turn to the left ♪
1660
01:18:59,375 --> 01:19:01,583
-♪ Work ♪
-♪ Now turn to the right ♪
1661
01:19:01,666 --> 01:19:02,833
♪ Work ♪
1662
01:19:02,916 --> 01:19:03,833
♪ Sashay ♪
1663
01:19:03,916 --> 01:19:06,291
This is such a perfect night.
1664
01:19:06,375 --> 01:19:07,875
-Yeah.
-That filthy ho.
1665
01:19:07,958 --> 01:19:11,625
-She's rigging the election.
-She's an adult. She won't stoop that low.
1666
01:19:13,333 --> 01:19:14,166
Wait.
1667
01:19:16,041 --> 01:19:17,791
Hey, Tiffany.
1668
01:19:17,875 --> 01:19:19,708
-Oh my gosh.
-Hey, Steph!
1669
01:19:19,791 --> 01:19:21,000
I'm surprised you're here.
1670
01:19:21,083 --> 01:19:24,875
Aren't you normally on a Saturday night
just home sharpening your teeth?
1671
01:19:25,750 --> 01:19:27,583
You know, I just want to say
1672
01:19:27,666 --> 01:19:31,583
the noble thing would be to do
what the rest of these students are doing
1673
01:19:31,666 --> 01:19:33,708
and vote for Bri.
1674
01:19:33,791 --> 01:19:35,083
Oh. [laughs]
1675
01:19:35,166 --> 01:19:36,625
-Is that right?
-Mm-hmm.
1676
01:19:36,708 --> 01:19:40,208
Well, I always do the noble thing.
1677
01:19:40,916 --> 01:19:43,916
Vote for Bri.
Is it spelled like the cheese?
1678
01:19:45,000 --> 01:19:46,250
B, R, I.
1679
01:19:46,333 --> 01:19:47,166
Hmm.
1680
01:19:48,250 --> 01:19:49,208
Interesting.
1681
01:19:50,708 --> 01:19:51,541
Ooh.
1682
01:19:51,625 --> 01:19:52,875
Yep. Right in there.
1683
01:19:52,958 --> 01:19:53,958
There.
1684
01:19:56,166 --> 01:19:57,875
I'm just so confident.
1685
01:19:59,000 --> 01:19:59,875
[Steph grunts]
1686
01:20:01,333 --> 01:20:03,833
-Just vote for me.
-Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
1687
01:20:03,916 --> 01:20:05,458
Sethany.
1688
01:20:05,541 --> 01:20:06,708
[Seth and Tiffany laugh]
1689
01:20:06,791 --> 01:20:09,208
You know you're not eligible
for prom queen, right?
1690
01:20:09,291 --> 01:20:12,500
That's right, I'm not.
I'm not eligible for prom queen.
1691
01:20:12,583 --> 01:20:15,291
And it's probably killing you
that you aren't either.
1692
01:20:16,416 --> 01:20:17,625
Relax, Tiff.
1693
01:20:18,125 --> 01:20:19,375
I'm just joking.
1694
01:20:19,458 --> 01:20:20,916
[both chuckle]
1695
01:20:21,000 --> 01:20:23,791
-That's funny.
-It's funny. It was a joke. Yeah.
1696
01:20:23,875 --> 01:20:25,750
-It was a joke.
-[laughs]
1697
01:20:26,375 --> 01:20:27,625
She's going down.
1698
01:20:29,041 --> 01:20:30,791
Bye. [clears throat]
1699
01:20:30,875 --> 01:20:33,416
-["Body Rock" by Regulus Red plays]
-♪ Make your body rock ♪
1700
01:20:33,500 --> 01:20:34,625
♪ Don't you make it stop ♪
1701
01:20:35,208 --> 01:20:38,333
♪ Baby, dance your dance around me ♪
1702
01:20:38,416 --> 01:20:40,041
♪ I want you all for me… ♪
1703
01:20:40,125 --> 01:20:43,291
-Oh my God, it's beautiful.
-[Seth] Mm-hmm.
1704
01:20:43,375 --> 01:20:45,166
Oh my God, Steph! There you are!
1705
01:20:45,250 --> 01:20:49,833
-Oh, you guys look incredible. Amazing!
-Thanks. Wanna go crush the photo booth?
1706
01:20:49,916 --> 01:20:52,166
Oh my God, stop.
You're causing climate change.
1707
01:20:52,250 --> 01:20:55,958
Um, I've got to go and get some votes.
I don't know whether you guys saw,
1708
01:20:56,041 --> 01:20:59,125
but Bri's mom is, like, totally trying
to rig the election.
1709
01:20:59,208 --> 01:21:01,166
Oh! Oh, hell, no!
1710
01:21:01,250 --> 01:21:03,333
I will not stand for voter suppression.
1711
01:21:03,416 --> 01:21:06,291
-We're gonna go help spread the word.
-Storm the cafeteria.
1712
01:21:06,375 --> 01:21:07,375
-[Yaz] Bye.
-See you later?
1713
01:21:07,458 --> 01:21:09,291
Everyone feeling included? Okay.
1714
01:21:09,375 --> 01:21:11,833
There's enough room
on the dance floor for everybody,
1715
01:21:11,916 --> 01:21:16,000
and you don't need a partner to dance.
I usually dance by myself. It's fun.
1716
01:21:16,083 --> 01:21:17,791
[camera shutters clicking]
1717
01:21:17,875 --> 01:21:19,375
[upbeat music plays]
1718
01:21:22,041 --> 01:21:26,750
Baby, look at me. You know, this is
the dress I won prom queen in. Still fits.
1719
01:21:26,833 --> 01:21:28,875
I almost wore that exact same dress,
1720
01:21:28,958 --> 01:21:30,958
but I'm glad I didn't
because you look phenomenal.
1721
01:21:31,041 --> 01:21:32,666
-Aw.
-What are you doing?
1722
01:21:32,750 --> 01:21:36,791
I am fulfilling my duties
as the president of the PTA,
1723
01:21:36,875 --> 01:21:39,041
overlooking the ballot boxes,
1724
01:21:39,125 --> 01:21:43,708
and something tells me
that you got this in the bag.
1725
01:21:43,791 --> 01:21:44,750
Wink.
1726
01:21:45,541 --> 01:21:49,000
I mean, you can't be
a woke prom queen if you lose. [chuckles]
1727
01:21:49,083 --> 01:21:51,541
Which reminds me, here is a list of brands
1728
01:21:51,625 --> 01:21:54,708
I'd love for you to casually drop
during your acceptance speech.
1729
01:21:54,791 --> 01:21:57,416
Each one could be an additional 10K.
1730
01:21:57,500 --> 01:22:01,041
Don't worry if you can't work in Pep Boys.
It's not really our thing.
1731
01:22:01,125 --> 01:22:05,333
[inhales] Please just try and remember
this is my prom, not yours.
1732
01:22:08,458 --> 01:22:10,458
[dance music plays]
1733
01:22:12,875 --> 01:22:14,500
-[phone beeps]
-[Steph] Hey, fam.
1734
01:22:14,583 --> 01:22:18,958
Um, guys, just letting you know
that prom queen voting is still open,
1735
01:22:19,041 --> 01:22:20,458
and I think that something--
1736
01:22:20,541 --> 01:22:21,875
Damn, Conway, you look…
1737
01:22:21,958 --> 01:22:24,416
-[phone beeps]
-[whistles] …banging.
1738
01:22:25,375 --> 01:22:27,625
Oh my God, you're here. I mean, um…
1739
01:22:29,375 --> 01:22:30,208
You came. [chuckles]
1740
01:22:30,291 --> 01:22:34,666
Of course, I came. I've been waiting
20 years to see you in this dress.
1741
01:22:35,541 --> 01:22:36,458
[Steph chuckles]
1742
01:22:36,541 --> 01:22:38,166
My God, you look beautiful.
1743
01:22:39,000 --> 01:22:41,708
What is this? You mind if I slip this off?
1744
01:22:41,791 --> 01:22:43,583
-Um--
-You really don't need it.
1745
01:22:44,333 --> 01:22:46,625
I still have a naughty thing
for prom queens, right?
1746
01:22:46,708 --> 01:22:50,416
Well, If I don't get enough votes,
you might be fucking your daughter.
1747
01:22:50,500 --> 01:22:51,583
Huh?
1748
01:22:51,666 --> 01:22:55,375
-No, I wouldn't do that, but…
-No. Obviously. [chuckles] Sorry. Yeah.
1749
01:22:55,458 --> 01:22:56,666
Look at us. We are…
1750
01:22:57,875 --> 01:23:00,666
We're meant to be together.
We're perfect together. Admit it.
1751
01:23:01,375 --> 01:23:02,833
We're made for one another.
1752
01:23:03,375 --> 01:23:04,291
-Blaine?
-Yeah.
1753
01:23:04,375 --> 01:23:06,291
I don't think this is right.
This is a mistake.
1754
01:23:06,375 --> 01:23:08,750
No, no. The mistake was me
asking Tiff to prom. Trust me.
1755
01:23:08,833 --> 01:23:10,666
Wait. No, Blaine. Seriously.
1756
01:23:12,208 --> 01:23:14,208
[tense music plays]
1757
01:23:15,583 --> 01:23:16,583
Seth.
1758
01:23:16,666 --> 01:23:17,541
Seth?
1759
01:23:18,416 --> 01:23:19,416
[dance music plays]
1760
01:23:19,500 --> 01:23:22,416
Hey, Seth. Seth, hey!
I know what that looked like,
1761
01:23:22,500 --> 01:23:24,500
but I promise you,
it's not what you think.
1762
01:23:26,791 --> 01:23:28,541
You teenage-tricked me, Steph.
1763
01:23:29,291 --> 01:23:33,166
And you know what?
It's my fault for believing you changed.
1764
01:23:35,375 --> 01:23:39,875
[Mr. Tapper] Okay, class of 2022,
it's the big moment!
1765
01:23:39,958 --> 01:23:44,166
Okay, so the reason that we're all here
and the only reason we all came tonight…
1766
01:23:44,250 --> 01:23:46,166
-[Martha] No.
-…is because-- No, it is.
1767
01:23:46,250 --> 01:23:51,708
…is because I have the results
of our prom elections.
1768
01:23:51,791 --> 01:23:53,458
[crowd cheers and applauds]
1769
01:23:55,125 --> 01:23:59,250
By a unanimous vote, our 2022 prom king is
1770
01:24:00,166 --> 01:24:01,583
Lance Harrison.
1771
01:24:02,125 --> 01:24:04,916
-[crowd cheers]
-[upbeat music plays]
1772
01:24:08,625 --> 01:24:09,916
[Yaz] Yes! [laughs]
1773
01:24:11,291 --> 01:24:13,250
Oh my God! [laughs]
1774
01:24:13,916 --> 01:24:18,083
And the winner of prom queen
received over 1,000 votes
1775
01:24:18,166 --> 01:24:21,583
despite there only being 327 of you.
1776
01:24:21,666 --> 01:24:23,708
However, she has just informed us
1777
01:24:23,791 --> 01:24:26,541
that she has withdrawn
from the competition.
1778
01:24:26,625 --> 01:24:27,625
[Mr. Tapper] What?
1779
01:24:29,000 --> 01:24:31,541
-[Martha clears throat] Okay, so…
-Bri.
1780
01:24:31,625 --> 01:24:34,500
[Martha] …the 2022 prom queen will go to…
1781
01:24:37,458 --> 01:24:38,916
Stephanie Conway.
1782
01:24:39,000 --> 01:24:41,000
-[crowd cheers]
-[emotional music plays]
1783
01:24:42,666 --> 01:24:44,583
[inaudible]
1784
01:24:46,125 --> 01:24:48,375
[cheers]
1785
01:24:48,458 --> 01:24:50,375
There's been a mistake. No, no, no.
1786
01:24:52,083 --> 01:24:54,541
-Go, Steph! I can't believe it!
-[laughs]
1787
01:24:55,625 --> 01:24:56,458
God!
1788
01:24:56,541 --> 01:25:01,541
[crowd chants] Stephanie!
Stephanie! Stephanie! Stephanie!
1789
01:25:01,625 --> 01:25:03,041
Stephanie!
1790
01:25:03,125 --> 01:25:04,416
Stephanie!
1791
01:25:04,500 --> 01:25:05,500
No! No!
1792
01:25:05,583 --> 01:25:08,791
[crowd continues] Stephanie!
Stephanie! Stephanie! Stephanie!
1793
01:25:08,875 --> 01:25:11,208
[emotional music intensifies]
1794
01:25:21,416 --> 01:25:25,833
Now it is time for our king and queen
to take their dance.
1795
01:25:25,916 --> 01:25:27,750
[crowd cheers]
1796
01:25:31,333 --> 01:25:32,375
[cheers]
1797
01:25:32,458 --> 01:25:35,750
-Oh my God!
-♪ The whispers in the morning ♪
1798
01:25:39,333 --> 01:25:43,041
♪ Of lovers sleeping tight ♪
1799
01:25:46,125 --> 01:25:51,291
♪ Are rolling by like thunder now ♪
1800
01:25:53,208 --> 01:25:57,416
♪ As I look in your eyes ♪
1801
01:26:00,375 --> 01:26:04,416
♪ I hold on to your body ♪
1802
01:26:07,458 --> 01:26:11,791
♪ And feel each move you make ♪
1803
01:26:14,000 --> 01:26:17,791
♪ Your voice is warm and tender ♪
1804
01:26:18,500 --> 01:26:21,416
♪ A love that I could ♪
1805
01:26:22,333 --> 01:26:27,208
♪ Not forsake ♪
1806
01:26:27,875 --> 01:26:32,541
-♪ 'Cause I am your lady ♪
-[crowd cheers]
1807
01:26:32,625 --> 01:26:34,583
-Oh my God!
-What?
1808
01:26:34,666 --> 01:26:35,625
[Janet laughs]
1809
01:26:35,708 --> 01:26:39,125
♪ And you are my man ♪
1810
01:26:40,166 --> 01:26:41,250
Stop.
1811
01:26:41,958 --> 01:26:46,916
♪ Whenever you reach for me ♪
1812
01:26:49,083 --> 01:26:54,666
♪ I'll do all that I can ♪
1813
01:26:56,208 --> 01:27:00,541
♪ Even though there may be times ♪
1814
01:27:03,416 --> 01:27:07,541
♪ It seems I'm far away ♪
1815
01:27:10,208 --> 01:27:13,708
♪ But never wonder where I am ♪
1816
01:27:14,791 --> 01:27:19,875
♪ 'Cause I am always by your… ♪
1817
01:27:19,958 --> 01:27:23,583
After-party at Bri's house
with live music.
1818
01:27:23,666 --> 01:27:28,125
And spoiler alert, party favors
are Beats by Dre headphones!
1819
01:27:28,916 --> 01:27:30,833
Bri, will you tell them? [exhales]
1820
01:27:30,916 --> 01:27:34,750
Hey, everyone, after-party
is at Steph's place. See you there.
1821
01:27:34,833 --> 01:27:37,791
Wait, what are you doing?
The house is ready for the party.
1822
01:27:37,875 --> 01:27:41,500
I mean, Steve Aoki is in our living room.
What am I going to tell him?
1823
01:27:41,583 --> 01:27:44,250
I don't know.
Tell him you lost prom queen.
1824
01:27:44,333 --> 01:27:47,250
[rap music plays]
1825
01:27:47,333 --> 01:27:48,708
Shit. Shit.
1826
01:27:58,208 --> 01:28:01,250
[crowd chants] Drink! Drink!
Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!
1827
01:28:01,333 --> 01:28:02,541
[boy] No!
1828
01:28:02,625 --> 01:28:06,250
[rap music continues]
1829
01:28:06,833 --> 01:28:10,625
Yes, hi. I'd like to report
a rowdy high school party
1830
01:28:10,708 --> 01:28:13,000
with tons of underage drinking.
1831
01:28:13,583 --> 01:28:15,000
And-- Oh my God!
1832
01:28:15,750 --> 01:28:18,333
I think an adult is hosting it.
1833
01:28:19,083 --> 01:28:22,541
-["Bossed Up" by KC Carter plays]
-[crowd chants indistinctly]
1834
01:28:24,583 --> 01:28:25,541
[crowd cheers]
1835
01:28:27,291 --> 01:28:28,125
Yeah!
1836
01:28:28,625 --> 01:28:29,791
Hey!
1837
01:28:29,875 --> 01:28:30,750
Hey, Janet!
1838
01:28:31,333 --> 01:28:32,208
Come on!
1839
01:28:32,291 --> 01:28:34,125
-No, don't film me!
-Why?
1840
01:28:34,208 --> 01:28:36,500
The media will use it
to try and discredit me.
1841
01:28:39,833 --> 01:28:40,666
Wait, no.
1842
01:28:40,750 --> 01:28:43,291
-Fuck it! Fuck it! Film me! Film me!
-Okay. Okay.
1843
01:28:43,375 --> 01:28:47,208
Yeah, come on, yeah.
That's right. It's the president, bitch!
1844
01:28:47,291 --> 01:28:49,208
-Yeah!
-Suck my vulva!
1845
01:28:49,291 --> 01:28:50,625
[both scream]
1846
01:28:50,708 --> 01:28:53,166
["Bossed Up" continues playing]
1847
01:28:56,000 --> 01:28:58,166
Oh my God, whose tooth is this?
1848
01:28:58,250 --> 01:28:59,541
-[siren wails]
-Oh shit.
1849
01:28:59,625 --> 01:29:01,125
Cops!
1850
01:29:02,750 --> 01:29:05,625
-Where? Wait. Okay, wait--
-[boy] Bye, Stephanie.
1851
01:29:05,708 --> 01:29:07,291
No. Oh my God.
1852
01:29:12,625 --> 01:29:14,625
[tense music plays]
1853
01:29:23,875 --> 01:29:27,041
Oh my God, Martha,
I was just about to call you.
1854
01:29:27,125 --> 01:29:31,166
Steph, what in ever living fuck
were you thinking?
1855
01:29:32,291 --> 01:29:36,083
-You said I could use the house.
-Are you kidding? Twenty years ago.
1856
01:29:36,166 --> 01:29:39,166
And even then,
I didn't want you to use it.
1857
01:29:39,250 --> 01:29:42,041
-Did you even think about me?
-[indistinct chatter over police radio]
1858
01:29:42,125 --> 01:29:44,666
This is all kinds of illegal.
1859
01:29:44,750 --> 01:29:47,333
Oh my God, they're gonna make
a Netflix documentary about me.
1860
01:29:47,416 --> 01:29:50,791
Well, wait. Okay, think about that.
That could be really cool.
1861
01:29:50,875 --> 01:29:52,791
That… that could be epic.
1862
01:29:52,875 --> 01:29:54,916
Look how well it turned out
for Tiger King.
1863
01:29:55,000 --> 01:29:56,041
No.
1864
01:29:56,125 --> 01:30:00,166
No, it's not epic or cool.
1865
01:30:00,250 --> 01:30:02,416
God, you're the same as in high school.
1866
01:30:03,000 --> 01:30:05,708
-So you don't want a drink?
-No, I don't want a drink!
1867
01:30:06,625 --> 01:30:08,333
You need to grow up!
1868
01:30:08,916 --> 01:30:10,250
You're not a teenager!
1869
01:30:10,333 --> 01:30:13,833
I know I'm not. I'm an adult.
Is that what you want to hear?
1870
01:30:14,333 --> 01:30:18,000
Yes, I am a 37-year-old 12th grader.
1871
01:30:21,000 --> 01:30:25,541
You don't think I know how crazy it is
going back to high school in this body?
1872
01:30:26,291 --> 01:30:29,083
What else was I supposed to do? [chuckles]
1873
01:30:29,166 --> 01:30:32,375
-What else did I have?
-You had me, and you had Seth.
1874
01:30:32,958 --> 01:30:35,708
Everybody else just got to go on
and live their lives.
1875
01:30:35,791 --> 01:30:37,583
I'm supposed to just jump forward?
1876
01:30:37,666 --> 01:30:40,750
I'm just not allowed
to ever make mistakes?
1877
01:30:40,833 --> 01:30:43,166
Making mistakes is different
1878
01:30:43,250 --> 01:30:46,125
than willfully screwing over
the people who care about you.
1879
01:30:47,208 --> 01:30:48,708
You pushed us away.
1880
01:30:49,625 --> 01:30:52,708
They were not your friends.
We were your friends.
1881
01:30:53,333 --> 01:30:55,250
We were the ones who cared about you.
1882
01:30:55,333 --> 01:30:57,458
We were the ones
who showed up at the hospital.
1883
01:30:57,541 --> 01:30:59,375
They never came to the hospital.
None of them.
1884
01:30:59,458 --> 01:31:01,541
I can't believe you would say that.
1885
01:31:02,333 --> 01:31:04,291
I got tons of birthday cards.
1886
01:31:04,375 --> 01:31:06,291
Did you even look
to see who they were from?
1887
01:31:06,375 --> 01:31:07,375
[stomach growls]
1888
01:31:07,458 --> 01:31:09,750
[groans and vomits]
1889
01:31:10,375 --> 01:31:11,500
[Martha coughs]
1890
01:31:11,583 --> 01:31:13,750
[spits] Help. Oh God.
1891
01:31:14,375 --> 01:31:15,458
Was that curry?
1892
01:31:15,541 --> 01:31:17,708
I'm done. You can find your own way home.
1893
01:31:20,708 --> 01:31:21,708
[sighs]
1894
01:31:22,958 --> 01:31:24,166
Hey, Seth. [chuckles]
1895
01:31:28,416 --> 01:31:30,916
[indistinct chatter over police radio]
1896
01:31:32,416 --> 01:31:33,583
Finally.
1897
01:31:33,666 --> 01:31:35,666
I saw you followed Stephanie on Insta.
1898
01:31:35,750 --> 01:31:39,166
Don't you wanna know if I got arrested
at that party you called the cops on?
1899
01:31:39,250 --> 01:31:40,166
I know it was you.
1900
01:31:40,250 --> 01:31:44,000
Do you think I do this stuff for fun?
I'm looking out for you.
1901
01:31:44,083 --> 01:31:46,125
We could have made
a hundred grand tonight.
1902
01:31:46,208 --> 01:31:49,208
We could've used that money
as a donation to get you into college.
1903
01:31:49,291 --> 01:31:51,708
So you could blog
about being an Ivy League mom?
1904
01:31:51,791 --> 01:31:54,083
Oh well, I guess
I'll have to get in myself.
1905
01:31:54,166 --> 01:31:57,500
I want you to have the perfect life,
1906
01:31:58,083 --> 01:31:58,916
like me.
1907
01:31:59,500 --> 01:32:02,708
The perfect life online means nothing
when you're miserable in real life.
1908
01:32:02,791 --> 01:32:05,166
We are not miserable.
1909
01:32:05,250 --> 01:32:06,125
Yeah, we are.
1910
01:32:07,250 --> 01:32:09,583
[Bri] And you're right, Mom.
1911
01:32:09,666 --> 01:32:12,416
No elite person
follows more than 100 people.
1912
01:32:13,041 --> 01:32:14,666
So you gotta go.
1913
01:32:14,750 --> 01:32:17,333
-[gasps]
-You are toast.
1914
01:32:17,416 --> 01:32:18,875
Hey, your family's fucked up.
1915
01:32:18,958 --> 01:32:21,333
Are we doing this?
I got another gig in an hour.
1916
01:32:21,416 --> 01:32:23,791
You know what? Fuck you, Steve Aoki.
1917
01:32:23,875 --> 01:32:26,875
-["Drive" by Leslie Hayes McCann plays]
-♪ Life is a second ♪
1918
01:32:26,958 --> 01:32:29,625
♪ Gone in an instant ♪
1919
01:32:29,708 --> 01:32:32,416
♪ Defined by a moment… ♪
1920
01:32:32,500 --> 01:32:34,875
No offense,
but you look like a prom queen.
1921
01:32:38,208 --> 01:32:40,791
Holy shit, Deanna Russo?
1922
01:32:41,833 --> 01:32:44,041
Yeah. Do we know each other?
1923
01:32:44,541 --> 01:32:47,708
Oh my God. No. I… I mean…
Well, I know who you are.
1924
01:32:47,791 --> 01:32:49,541
You're a legend at Harding High.
1925
01:32:49,625 --> 01:32:51,750
You won prom queen and had a perfect life.
1926
01:32:51,833 --> 01:32:53,500
[laughs] Perfect life?
1927
01:32:54,250 --> 01:32:57,208
Yeah. Uh, let's see, um…
1928
01:32:57,291 --> 01:33:01,500
I was divorced before I was 30
when my husband left me
1929
01:33:01,583 --> 01:33:05,666
for a 21-year-old barista
with two more abs than I had.
1930
01:33:05,750 --> 01:33:10,541
And I was left with no credit
and no job prospects.
1931
01:33:11,416 --> 01:33:14,500
My advice, throw that crown away now.
1932
01:33:15,083 --> 01:33:16,666
You know what prom queen got me?
1933
01:33:16,750 --> 01:33:18,416
An even spray tan
1934
01:33:18,500 --> 01:33:22,375
and the ability to dodge bleach poisoning
every time I get my hair done.
1935
01:33:22,458 --> 01:33:24,250
Well, I mean, that is a skill.
1936
01:33:25,541 --> 01:33:26,416
[chuckles] Yeah.
1937
01:33:27,083 --> 01:33:33,666
But, uh, imagine all the other skills
I would have had if I'd gone to college.
1938
01:33:33,750 --> 01:33:35,500
I don't know where I would be,
1939
01:33:36,041 --> 01:33:39,208
but I do know it wouldn't be
taking courses at the community college
1940
01:33:39,291 --> 01:33:42,375
while hustling
to make rent between two jobs.
1941
01:33:42,458 --> 01:33:46,458
The only thing I look forward to
is taking my pants off at night.
1942
01:33:46,541 --> 01:33:48,250
Oh my God. I do that too now.
1943
01:33:48,333 --> 01:33:50,708
-It's so good, right?
-Yeah. Just like…
1944
01:33:50,791 --> 01:33:53,375
-[mimics snapping off buttons]
-[Deanna sighs] Yeah.
1945
01:33:53,458 --> 01:33:57,583
But it's all worth it
'cause I am going to get a degree,
1946
01:33:57,666 --> 01:34:02,166
and I am going to have a career,
and that is everything.
1947
01:34:02,750 --> 01:34:06,708
And for the first time in my life,
I'm excited about the future
1948
01:34:07,291 --> 01:34:09,416
instead of holding on to the past.
1949
01:34:09,500 --> 01:34:11,375
["Winter" by Joshua Radin plays]
1950
01:34:14,083 --> 01:34:18,791
♪ I should know who I am by now ♪
1951
01:34:19,833 --> 01:34:22,125
♪ I walk ♪
1952
01:34:22,208 --> 01:34:25,250
♪ The record stands somehow ♪
1953
01:34:25,333 --> 01:34:27,416
♪ Thinking of winter ♪
1954
01:34:30,666 --> 01:34:34,250
♪ Your name is the splinter inside me ♪
1955
01:34:35,125 --> 01:34:38,666
♪ While I wait… ♪
1956
01:34:38,750 --> 01:34:42,666
[man] Please welcome
our award-winning Harding Bulldogettes!
1957
01:34:42,750 --> 01:34:47,708
-[crowd cheers]
-♪ And I remember the sound ♪
1958
01:34:48,458 --> 01:34:51,208
♪ Of your November downtown ♪
1959
01:34:53,666 --> 01:34:57,500
♪ And I remember the truth ♪
1960
01:34:59,416 --> 01:35:01,875
♪ A warm December with you ♪
1961
01:35:03,250 --> 01:35:07,708
♪ But I don't have to make this mistake ♪
1962
01:35:09,125 --> 01:35:13,541
♪ And I don't have to stay this way ♪
1963
01:35:14,416 --> 01:35:16,916
♪ If only I would wake ♪
1964
01:35:22,750 --> 01:35:24,500
Oh. There you are.
1965
01:35:25,750 --> 01:35:27,000
Is everything okay?
1966
01:35:28,250 --> 01:35:29,208
Want something to eat?
1967
01:35:30,291 --> 01:35:31,291
I'm not hungry.
1968
01:35:31,375 --> 01:35:34,125
Oh, come on. Sit down with me.
Have breakfast with your old dad.
1969
01:35:35,208 --> 01:35:37,041
[inhales and exhales]
1970
01:35:39,708 --> 01:35:42,625
[sighs] Do you know
where you're sitting at graduation yet?
1971
01:35:43,833 --> 01:35:44,708
On my butt?
1972
01:35:44,791 --> 01:35:45,625
[laughs]
1973
01:35:47,416 --> 01:35:49,458
I just wanna get a good seat
so I can see you.
1974
01:35:50,166 --> 01:35:51,125
[sighs]
1975
01:35:51,875 --> 01:35:53,708
I'm not gonna go to graduation, Dad.
1976
01:35:53,791 --> 01:35:55,458
Seth and Martha won't talk to me,
1977
01:35:55,541 --> 01:35:57,791
and I don't think
anybody else wants me there.
1978
01:35:57,875 --> 01:35:59,208
Well, I want you there.
1979
01:35:59,791 --> 01:36:00,833
That doesn't count.
1980
01:36:01,416 --> 01:36:02,333
Yes, it does.
1981
01:36:03,958 --> 01:36:05,083
I count.
1982
01:36:06,041 --> 01:36:10,083
I know you used to roll your eyes
whenever Mom would compliment you,
1983
01:36:11,000 --> 01:36:14,041
tell you how amazing,
beautiful, wonderful you were,
1984
01:36:14,625 --> 01:36:16,750
like she had to say it 'cause she was Mom,
1985
01:36:18,291 --> 01:36:19,750
but she wanted to
1986
01:36:20,416 --> 01:36:22,666
because she believed it, deeply.
1987
01:36:25,083 --> 01:36:28,041
One of the last things
she said to me was to make sure
1988
01:36:28,833 --> 01:36:31,291
that you knew how to receive love.
1989
01:36:32,083 --> 01:36:35,916
And I spent every day of your coma
wondering if I messed up,
1990
01:36:36,000 --> 01:36:39,250
so… let me be clear.
1991
01:36:41,208 --> 01:36:45,166
Don't waste your time
telling the people who love you the most
1992
01:36:45,250 --> 01:36:46,666
that they don't count.
1993
01:36:47,625 --> 01:36:50,125
They are the only ones that count.
1994
01:36:51,458 --> 01:36:53,125
[sniffles]
1995
01:36:53,208 --> 01:36:54,250
Thanks, Dad.
1996
01:36:55,583 --> 01:36:56,458
Yeah.
1997
01:36:58,083 --> 01:36:59,916
["Grow as We Go" by Ben Platt plays]
1998
01:37:00,875 --> 01:37:01,750
[phone beeps]
1999
01:37:01,833 --> 01:37:05,250
Okay, I know I have
some things to clear up, so…
2000
01:37:07,041 --> 01:37:09,125
I thought this is gonna be the best way.
2001
01:37:09,208 --> 01:37:12,958
Guys, I fucked up.
And I really need to apologize.
2002
01:37:13,041 --> 01:37:15,916
First of all, I've been
a really dodgy friend
2003
01:37:16,000 --> 01:37:18,583
to the two people
who care about me the most,
2004
01:37:18,666 --> 01:37:23,291
the people who supported me when I was
just that dorky kid fresh from Australia,
2005
01:37:24,041 --> 01:37:28,500
the ones who stayed by my side,
even when I majorly neglected them,
2006
01:37:29,416 --> 01:37:32,666
the ones who,
for some reason, never gave up on me.
2007
01:37:32,750 --> 01:37:36,500
It doesn't matter who has
the most friends or likes or followers.
2008
01:37:36,583 --> 01:37:38,958
If you just have one or two great friends
2009
01:37:39,041 --> 01:37:41,875
who will support you
even when you're being a butt slut,
2010
01:37:41,958 --> 01:37:43,375
then you've got it all.
2011
01:37:44,166 --> 01:37:46,333
And that is something worth fighting for,
2012
01:37:46,416 --> 01:37:48,416
so fuck what other people think.
2013
01:37:48,500 --> 01:37:51,958
Yeah, like, fuck being popular.
Fuck being cool.
2014
01:37:52,041 --> 01:37:53,625
Fuck it in the ass.
2015
01:37:53,708 --> 01:37:55,333
[whispers] Stephie, language.
2016
01:37:55,958 --> 01:37:59,708
[Steph] I never planned on taking
two decades to graduate, obvi,
2017
01:37:59,791 --> 01:38:02,666
but the class of 2022
showed me something that
2018
01:38:02,750 --> 01:38:05,333
I could never have learned
when I was in high school the first time.
2019
01:38:05,416 --> 01:38:06,833
[Martha] We have a school archive!
2020
01:38:07,500 --> 01:38:12,666
[Steph] And that is every single one of us
is so unique, and that's awesome.
2021
01:38:12,750 --> 01:38:15,041
Why fit in when you can stand out?
2022
01:38:15,916 --> 01:38:19,416
And so, okay, now I'm gonna do something
2023
01:38:19,500 --> 01:38:22,458
that I wish I had
the confidence to do 20 years ago,
2024
01:38:23,083 --> 01:38:25,083
and that is being my real self.
2025
01:38:25,750 --> 01:38:28,958
And yeah, I'm still afraid that
if I show everyone my real self,
2026
01:38:29,041 --> 01:38:30,916
the wrong people will make fun of me.
2027
01:38:31,416 --> 01:38:34,041
But it's the only way
for the right people to see me.
2028
01:38:36,000 --> 01:38:38,125
And they're the ones
I care about the most.
2029
01:38:40,875 --> 01:38:44,458
They're the ones I want,
more than anything, to forgive me.
2030
01:38:46,458 --> 01:38:48,291
["Grow as We Go" ends]
2031
01:38:56,833 --> 01:38:59,541
[whispers] Dad, stop. Stop it.
2032
01:38:59,625 --> 01:39:00,916
That's it.
2033
01:39:01,833 --> 01:39:03,416
Dad, just stop it! Press stop.
2034
01:39:03,500 --> 01:39:05,250
-[Jim] Sorry.
-[phone beeps]
2035
01:39:05,333 --> 01:39:06,875
That was beautiful.
2036
01:39:09,625 --> 01:39:10,458
Tiff.
2037
01:39:10,541 --> 01:39:15,500
[hesitates] My daughter
won't, um, unblock me unless…
2038
01:39:16,958 --> 01:39:18,250
I came to apologize to you.
2039
01:39:19,333 --> 01:39:21,041
-Seriously?
-So…
2040
01:39:21,125 --> 01:39:22,000
Um…
2041
01:39:23,083 --> 01:39:26,208
I am sorry for everything I've done
2042
01:39:27,083 --> 01:39:31,208
and for treating you
like human garbage all these years.
2043
01:39:31,291 --> 01:39:34,166
Tiff, I'm not the one you should be trying
to make things right with.
2044
01:39:34,875 --> 01:39:37,125
You and Blaine have an awesome daughter
2045
01:39:37,208 --> 01:39:41,458
who's so smart and way cooler
than what you and I ever were.
2046
01:39:43,291 --> 01:39:44,958
Stop competing with her.
2047
01:39:45,541 --> 01:39:47,458
There's enough room for both of you.
2048
01:39:48,083 --> 01:39:50,000
There's enough room for all of us.
2049
01:39:50,500 --> 01:39:52,458
We don't need to fight with each other.
2050
01:39:53,791 --> 01:39:54,625
You're right.
2051
01:39:55,458 --> 01:39:59,000
I am really sorry, Stephanie,
2052
01:39:59,750 --> 01:40:00,708
for…
2053
01:40:02,708 --> 01:40:03,541
everything.
2054
01:40:06,416 --> 01:40:07,291
Yeah.
2055
01:40:09,000 --> 01:40:10,541
Apology accepted.
2056
01:40:13,500 --> 01:40:14,958
-Okay.
-Tiff, wait, um…
2057
01:40:15,750 --> 01:40:18,375
[scoffs] I never let a guest leave
without a gift.
2058
01:40:19,750 --> 01:40:21,166
-Hang on.
-That is…
2059
01:40:21,250 --> 01:40:24,083
-Just wait… wait one second.
-[Tiffany] …so cute.
2060
01:40:27,458 --> 01:40:28,500
That's for you.
2061
01:40:32,375 --> 01:40:34,791
-Thank you so much. Thank you.
-[Steph] Thanks for coming over.
2062
01:40:34,875 --> 01:40:36,416
Lance Harrison.
2063
01:40:36,500 --> 01:40:39,166
[crowd cheers and applauds]
2064
01:40:39,250 --> 01:40:40,916
Oh my God.
2065
01:40:46,583 --> 01:40:49,791
-I just wanna say thanks to my grandma--
-No, no, no, no.
2066
01:40:49,875 --> 01:40:52,833
Just so everybody knows,
nobody else do that. Okay.
2067
01:40:53,333 --> 01:40:55,500
Britney Jean Balbo.
2068
01:40:55,583 --> 01:40:57,083
[crowd cheers and applauds]
2069
01:40:57,166 --> 01:40:58,583
[cheers]
2070
01:40:59,375 --> 01:41:01,208
-Yes, Bri!
-[Tiffany] Go, baby!
2071
01:41:01,291 --> 01:41:02,333
Go, Bri!
2072
01:41:04,916 --> 01:41:06,166
[crowd cheers]
2073
01:41:09,166 --> 01:41:11,500
Stephanie Marie Conway.
2074
01:41:11,583 --> 01:41:13,333
[crowd cheers and applauds]
2075
01:41:13,416 --> 01:41:15,583
[cheers] That's my daughter!
2076
01:41:15,666 --> 01:41:17,208
[triumphant music plays]
2077
01:41:23,625 --> 01:41:24,875
Um, oh…
2078
01:41:25,666 --> 01:41:28,666
Here. To pay
for all the damage at the lake house.
2079
01:41:28,750 --> 01:41:30,125
Where did you get this from?
2080
01:41:30,208 --> 01:41:32,625
I sold the Cabriolet.
[chuckles] Time to grow up.
2081
01:41:33,208 --> 01:41:35,458
[crowd] Aw.
2082
01:41:35,541 --> 01:41:36,958
I am so proud of you.
2083
01:41:37,041 --> 01:41:38,166
Aw, thanks, Marth.
2084
01:41:39,000 --> 01:41:40,541
I'm so lucky to have you as a friend.
2085
01:41:41,416 --> 01:41:44,041
[crowd cheers and applauds]
2086
01:41:48,375 --> 01:41:49,333
Congrats, Steph.
2087
01:41:50,000 --> 01:41:50,833
Thanks.
2088
01:41:50,916 --> 01:41:53,333
[Martha] Now, to end our ceremony,
I'd like to invite
2089
01:41:53,416 --> 01:41:57,666
our 2022 class valedictorian, Janet Singh.
2090
01:41:57,750 --> 01:42:00,083
-[laughs]
-[crowd cheers and applauds]
2091
01:42:00,166 --> 01:42:01,833
-After you.
-Thank you!
2092
01:42:01,916 --> 01:42:02,750
[cheers]
2093
01:42:05,083 --> 01:42:06,250
Go, Janet!
2094
01:42:08,583 --> 01:42:10,208
Okay, listen up.
2095
01:42:10,291 --> 01:42:14,375
It is hot as hell,
and this ceremony is way too long.
2096
01:42:14,458 --> 01:42:16,666
So I'm just gonna say one thing.
2097
01:42:16,750 --> 01:42:19,791
Who you are in high school
doesn't define you.
2098
01:42:20,666 --> 01:42:23,166
And I would also like
to officially announce
2099
01:42:23,250 --> 01:42:25,583
my campaign for US president.
2100
01:42:25,666 --> 01:42:27,583
Vote for me in 2040.
2101
01:42:28,125 --> 01:42:29,125
Yay!
2102
01:42:29,208 --> 01:42:30,833
[crowd cheers and applauds]
2103
01:42:30,916 --> 01:42:32,083
[cheers]
2104
01:42:32,166 --> 01:42:35,916
And lastly,
I have one question for all of you.
2105
01:42:37,000 --> 01:42:38,958
-Are you ready…
-♪ Are you ready ♪
2106
01:42:39,041 --> 01:42:40,791
-♪ For the Harding ♪
-…for the Harding…
2107
01:42:41,916 --> 01:42:44,000
-♪ Bulldogettes ♪
-…Bulldogettes?
2108
01:42:44,083 --> 01:42:46,541
["Hot in Herre" by Nelly plays]
2109
01:42:46,625 --> 01:42:50,791
♪ Oh, good gracious ass is bodacious
Flirtatious, trying to show patience ♪
2110
01:42:50,875 --> 01:42:53,833
-♪ And can't nobody stop the juice… ♪
-No way. Stephanie's Dance Grooves?
2111
01:42:53,916 --> 01:42:56,375
-♪ I said, it's gettin' hot in here ♪
-♪ So hot ♪
2112
01:42:56,458 --> 01:42:58,000
♪ So take off all your clothes ♪
2113
01:42:58,083 --> 01:43:01,791
♪ I am gettin' so hot
I wanna take my clothes off ♪
2114
01:43:01,875 --> 01:43:04,000
-♪ It's gettin' hot in here ♪
-♪ So hot ♪
2115
01:43:04,083 --> 01:43:05,750
♪ So take off all your clothes ♪
2116
01:43:05,833 --> 01:43:09,250
♪ I am gettin' so hot
I wanna take my clothes off ♪
2117
01:43:09,333 --> 01:43:11,541
["Hot in Herre" by Nelly slows down]
2118
01:43:13,791 --> 01:43:16,791
-♪ Come on over, come on over, baby ♪
-[crowd cheers]
2119
01:43:17,750 --> 01:43:20,833
♪ Come on over, come on, come on ♪
2120
01:43:20,916 --> 01:43:22,458
♪ Baby, baby, baby ♪
2121
01:43:22,541 --> 01:43:24,583
[drum music plays]
2122
01:43:24,666 --> 01:43:25,958
-Ready?
-[cheerleaders] Okay!
2123
01:43:26,041 --> 01:43:29,750
♪ We are the Bulldogs
We like it rough, rough, rough ♪
2124
01:43:29,833 --> 01:43:33,041
♪ No one can beat us
No, we're too tough ♪
2125
01:43:33,125 --> 01:43:34,291
-Strong arms!
-♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
2126
01:43:34,375 --> 01:43:38,083
♪ We fight to the finish
We're in it to win it ♪
2127
01:43:38,166 --> 01:43:41,583
-♪ Ah, yeah ♪
-♪ Moment, moment, moment ♪
2128
01:43:41,666 --> 01:43:43,458
["A Moment Like This"
by Kelly Clarkson plays]
2129
01:43:43,541 --> 01:43:46,083
-♪ Some people wait a lifetime ♪
-Okay, I have to go.
2130
01:43:46,958 --> 01:43:50,583
-Kelly Clarkson! [screams]
-♪ For a moment like this ♪
2131
01:43:50,666 --> 01:43:54,833
♪ Some people search forever ♪
2132
01:43:54,916 --> 01:43:57,958
♪ For that one special kiss ♪
2133
01:43:58,041 --> 01:44:04,333
♪ Oh, I can't believe
It's happening to me ♪
2134
01:44:04,416 --> 01:44:08,125
♪ Some people wait a lifetime ♪
2135
01:44:08,208 --> 01:44:12,500
♪ For a moment, moment, moment ♪
2136
01:44:12,583 --> 01:44:14,875
["A Moment Like This" slows to a stop]
2137
01:44:21,916 --> 01:44:24,333
-[crowd cheers]
-["A Moment Like This" resumes]
2138
01:44:25,208 --> 01:44:28,958
♪ We are the Bulldogs
We like it rough, rough, rough ♪
2139
01:44:29,041 --> 01:44:31,708
♪ No one can beat us
No, we're too tough ♪
2140
01:44:32,833 --> 01:44:35,750
♪ We are the Bulldogs
We are hot stuff ♪
2141
01:44:36,500 --> 01:44:39,541
♪ No one can beat us
'Cause we're enough ♪
2142
01:44:40,416 --> 01:44:42,625
♪ Yeah, yeah, we fight to the finish ♪
2143
01:44:42,708 --> 01:44:44,416
♪ We're in it to win it ♪
2144
01:44:44,916 --> 01:44:48,583
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
2145
01:44:48,666 --> 01:44:52,208
♪ Some people wait a lifetime ♪
2146
01:44:52,291 --> 01:44:56,375
-♪ For a moment, moment, moment ♪
-♪ Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go ♪
2147
01:44:56,458 --> 01:44:59,166
-♪ Like this ♪
-[crowd cheers and applauds]
2148
01:45:01,750 --> 01:45:04,583
Oh my God! [screams] Oh my God!
2149
01:45:04,666 --> 01:45:05,666
[all laughing]
2150
01:45:05,750 --> 01:45:06,958
[Seth laughs]
2151
01:45:08,125 --> 01:45:11,250
[sighs] Well, then, we should go out?
2152
01:45:12,000 --> 01:45:14,041
-No duh.
-[both chuckle]
2153
01:45:14,750 --> 01:45:18,208
[crowd cheers]
2154
01:45:23,041 --> 01:45:25,875
["C'est La Vie" by B*Witched plays]
2155
01:45:25,958 --> 01:45:28,041
♪ Some people say I look like me dad ♪
2156
01:45:29,250 --> 01:45:30,916
♪ Oh-oh ♪
2157
01:45:32,125 --> 01:45:33,708
♪ Hey, hey ♪
2158
01:45:33,791 --> 01:45:35,125
♪ Oh-oh ♪
2159
01:45:38,083 --> 01:45:39,541
♪ Oh-oh ♪
2160
01:45:42,125 --> 01:45:45,000
♪ I said, hey, boy
Sittin' in your tree" ♪
2161
01:45:45,083 --> 01:45:47,250
♪ Mummy always wants you to come for tea ♪
2162
01:45:47,333 --> 01:45:49,416
♪ Don't be shy, straighten up your tie ♪
2163
01:45:49,500 --> 01:45:51,958
♪ Get down from your tree house
Sittin' in the sky ♪
2164
01:45:52,041 --> 01:45:53,833
♪ I wanna know just what to do ♪
2165
01:45:53,916 --> 01:45:56,250
♪ Is it very big?
Is there room for two? ♪
2166
01:45:56,333 --> 01:45:58,208
♪ I got a house with windows and doors ♪
2167
01:45:58,291 --> 01:46:01,166
♪ I'll show you mine
If you show me yours ♪
2168
01:46:01,250 --> 01:46:03,291
♪ Gotta let me in ♪
2169
01:46:03,375 --> 01:46:05,041
♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪
2170
01:46:05,125 --> 01:46:07,875
♪ Let the fun begin ♪
2171
01:46:08,458 --> 01:46:10,000
♪ Hey ♪
2172
01:46:10,083 --> 01:46:11,916
♪ I'm the wolf today ♪
2173
01:46:12,000 --> 01:46:13,583
♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪
2174
01:46:13,666 --> 01:46:18,083
♪ I'll huff, I'll puff
I'll huff, I'll puff, I'll blow you away ♪
2175
01:46:18,166 --> 01:46:19,750
♪ Say you will, say you won't ♪
2176
01:46:19,833 --> 01:46:21,625
♪ Say you'll do what I don't ♪
2177
01:46:21,708 --> 01:46:23,833
♪ Say you're true, say to me ♪
2178
01:46:24,958 --> 01:46:26,416
♪ C'est la vie ♪
2179
01:46:26,500 --> 01:46:28,208
♪ Say you will, say you won't ♪
2180
01:46:28,291 --> 01:46:30,416
♪ Say you'll do what I don't ♪
2181
01:46:30,500 --> 01:46:33,708
-♪ Say you're true, say to me ♪
-♪ Get a life… ♪
2182
01:46:33,791 --> 01:46:36,000
[Blaine] Who doesn't want a Hummer
on their big night?
2183
01:46:36,083 --> 01:46:37,541
Not me. [chuckles]
2184
01:46:37,625 --> 01:46:40,083
♪ Do you ever get lonely
Playing with your toys? ♪
2185
01:46:40,166 --> 01:46:41,875
-♪ We can talk, we can sing ♪
-[screams]
2186
01:46:41,958 --> 01:46:44,875
-♪ I'll be the queen… ♪
-[Lance] I love belly button play.
2187
01:46:44,958 --> 01:46:47,875
I really wanna get spit-roasted
by two leather daddies.
2188
01:46:47,958 --> 01:46:50,875
Never before. I'm sex… sex nothing.
2189
01:46:50,958 --> 01:46:53,875
-[laughs] Stop.
-Okay, all righty.
2190
01:46:53,958 --> 01:46:55,791
-[laughs]
-♪ Gotta let me in ♪
2191
01:46:55,875 --> 01:46:57,958
♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪
2192
01:46:58,041 --> 01:47:00,458
-[laughs]
-♪ Let the fun begin ♪
2193
01:47:00,541 --> 01:47:01,750
-A-mark.
-♪ Hey ♪
2194
01:47:01,833 --> 01:47:02,791
B-mark.
2195
01:47:02,875 --> 01:47:04,541
♪ I'm the wolf today ♪
2196
01:47:04,625 --> 01:47:06,416
♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪
2197
01:47:06,500 --> 01:47:07,916
♪ I'll huff, I'll puff… ♪
2198
01:47:08,000 --> 01:47:09,875
I'm making a love heart sign.
2199
01:47:09,958 --> 01:47:11,375
♪ I'll blow you away… ♪
2200
01:47:11,458 --> 01:47:13,750
What am I doing?
I'm just making a love heart.
2201
01:47:13,833 --> 01:47:15,625
Welcome to Book Corner
with Sam Richardson.
2202
01:47:15,708 --> 01:47:16,958
♪ Say to me ♪
2203
01:47:17,041 --> 01:47:18,291
-♪ Yeah… ♪
-Oh.
2204
01:47:18,375 --> 01:47:19,666
Oppa Gangnam Style.
2205
01:47:19,750 --> 01:47:21,500
-Oppa. Oppa.
-Oppa Gangnam Style.
2206
01:47:22,375 --> 01:47:23,333
Yeah, very fast.
2207
01:47:23,416 --> 01:47:26,166
-♪ Say you're true, say to me ♪
-♪ What do you know? ♪
2208
01:47:26,750 --> 01:47:28,791
♪ C'est la vie ♪
2209
01:47:37,958 --> 01:47:38,833
♪ Hey, hey ♪
2210
01:47:38,916 --> 01:47:40,375
♪ Na-na-na-eh ♪
2211
01:47:41,208 --> 01:47:42,583
♪ Na-na-na-oh ♪
2212
01:47:43,250 --> 01:47:44,750
♪ Na-na-na-eh ♪
2213
01:47:45,333 --> 01:47:47,708
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
2214
01:47:47,791 --> 01:47:49,708
♪ Say you will, say you won't ♪
2215
01:47:49,791 --> 01:47:51,916
♪ Say you'll do what I don't ♪
2216
01:47:52,000 --> 01:47:54,083
♪ Say you're true, say to me ♪
2217
01:47:54,166 --> 01:47:56,500
♪ Wanna say c'est la vie ♪
2218
01:47:56,583 --> 01:47:58,416
♪ Say you will, say you won't ♪
2219
01:47:58,500 --> 01:48:00,708
♪ Say you'll do what I don't ♪
2220
01:48:00,791 --> 01:48:02,666
♪ Say you're true, say to me ♪
2221
01:48:02,750 --> 01:48:04,125
♪ Fight like me dad as well ♪
2222
01:48:04,208 --> 01:48:06,125
♪ C'est la vie ♪
2223
01:48:07,583 --> 01:48:10,000
-♪ Na-na-na-oh ♪
-♪ C'est la vie ♪
2224
01:48:10,083 --> 01:48:11,416
♪ Na-na-na-eh ♪
2225
01:48:11,916 --> 01:48:14,166
-♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪
-♪ C'est la vie ♪
2226
01:48:14,250 --> 01:48:16,708
["C'est La Vie" by B*Witched ends]
2227
01:48:16,791 --> 01:48:21,208
I really do want to go to college.
So what do I need to do?
2228
01:48:21,291 --> 01:48:24,708
I… [laughs] I would do anything.
I mean, not…
2229
01:48:24,791 --> 01:48:25,708
Oh.
2230
01:48:25,791 --> 01:48:29,708
Sorry, I just… Yeah, I… I meant… anything.
2231
01:48:31,125 --> 01:48:33,541
No, I didn't… Sorry.
I didn't mean that. I meant…
2232
01:48:33,625 --> 01:48:36,666
Oh my God. I meant I will do anything…
2233
01:48:38,500 --> 01:48:40,291
-Oh my God.
-…non-sexually.
2234
01:48:40,375 --> 01:48:44,875
Oh, good, good. Don't ever resort to that
unless you have to.
2235
01:48:44,958 --> 01:48:47,666
And if that's what you wanna do
with your life, then do it,
2236
01:48:47,750 --> 01:48:50,625
but don't do it with me.
I'm terrible in bed.
2237
01:48:51,125 --> 01:48:52,250
[inhales]
2238
01:48:53,041 --> 01:48:55,208
[both laughing]
2239
01:48:55,291 --> 01:48:57,000
["So Strong" by Olivier Bibeau plays]
2240
01:48:57,083 --> 01:49:00,958
♪ If this is all I need
And all I believe in ♪
2241
01:49:01,041 --> 01:49:04,875
♪ Will you keep singing
Keep on moving forever? ♪
2242
01:49:04,958 --> 01:49:08,791
♪ I've got this feeling
And I'm better than free ♪
2243
01:49:08,875 --> 01:49:11,375
♪ I'll keep on singing, keep on moving ♪
2244
01:49:11,458 --> 01:49:12,708
♪ Remember ♪
2245
01:49:12,791 --> 01:49:14,666
♪ Yeah, I'm waking up and go-go ♪
2246
01:49:14,750 --> 01:49:16,500
♪ Yeah, got me going loco ♪
2247
01:49:16,583 --> 01:49:18,083
♪ This is all I want ♪
2248
01:49:18,166 --> 01:49:20,083
♪ The beat is so strong ♪
2249
01:49:20,166 --> 01:49:22,541
♪ Yeah, I'm waking up and go-go ♪
2250
01:49:22,625 --> 01:49:24,541
♪ Yeah, got me going loco ♪
2251
01:49:24,625 --> 01:49:26,000
♪ This is all I want ♪
2252
01:49:26,083 --> 01:49:28,333
♪ The beat is so strong ♪
2253
01:49:29,458 --> 01:49:31,208
♪ Uh, ah-ah ♪
2254
01:49:31,291 --> 01:49:33,125
♪ Uh, ah-ah ♪
2255
01:49:33,208 --> 01:49:35,083
♪ Uh, ah-ah ♪
2256
01:49:35,166 --> 01:49:37,666
♪ Got me dancing all night long ♪
2257
01:49:37,750 --> 01:49:41,250
♪ I'm waking up and go
No, never taking it slow ♪
2258
01:49:41,333 --> 01:49:45,166
♪ Will you keep talking
Keep on grooving forever? ♪
2259
01:49:45,250 --> 01:49:49,083
♪ I've got this feeling
And I'm higher than free ♪
2260
01:49:49,166 --> 01:49:51,375
♪ I'll keep on living
Keep on moving ♪
2261
01:49:51,458 --> 01:49:52,958
♪ Remember ♪
2262
01:49:53,041 --> 01:49:55,041
♪ Yeah, I'm waking up and go-go ♪
2263
01:49:55,125 --> 01:49:57,041
♪ Yeah, got me going loco ♪
2264
01:49:57,125 --> 01:49:58,375
♪ This is all I want ♪
2265
01:49:58,458 --> 01:50:00,250
♪ The beat is so strong ♪
2266
01:50:01,000 --> 01:50:02,708
♪ Uh, ah-ah ♪
2267
01:50:02,791 --> 01:50:04,458
♪ Uh, ah-ah ♪
2268
01:50:04,541 --> 01:50:06,583
♪ Uh, ah-ah ♪
2269
01:50:06,666 --> 01:50:08,833
♪ Got me dancing all night long ♪
2270
01:50:08,916 --> 01:50:10,083
♪ This is all I want ♪
2271
01:50:10,166 --> 01:50:12,208
♪ The beat is so strong ♪
2272
01:50:12,291 --> 01:50:13,958
♪ The beat is so strong ♪
2273
01:50:14,041 --> 01:50:17,000
♪ Got me dancing all night long ♪
2274
01:50:17,625 --> 01:50:19,041
["Outta Patience" plays]
2275
01:50:19,125 --> 01:50:20,250
♪ Let me talk it out ♪
2276
01:50:21,625 --> 01:50:22,500
♪ Yeah ♪
2277
01:50:23,291 --> 01:50:24,625
♪ Listen up right here ♪
2278
01:50:26,208 --> 01:50:30,166
♪ Lately, I've been picking
Picking up on you ♪
2279
01:50:30,250 --> 01:50:34,458
♪ Oh, every time you come around
There's something new ♪
2280
01:50:34,541 --> 01:50:38,666
♪ So let me in your mind
Yeah, let me read the room ♪
2281
01:50:38,750 --> 01:50:43,291
♪ Yeah, we can work it out
If we just let it loose ♪
2282
01:50:44,708 --> 01:50:45,541
♪ You know ♪
2283
01:50:46,625 --> 01:50:48,125
♪ All I've got to say is ♪
2284
01:50:50,208 --> 01:50:51,958
♪ I'm running outta patience ♪
2285
01:50:52,041 --> 01:50:53,208
♪ He-hey ♪
2286
01:50:54,583 --> 01:50:56,250
♪ No more playing ♪
2287
01:50:56,750 --> 01:50:58,375
♪ You hear what I'm saying? ♪
2288
01:50:58,458 --> 01:51:00,541
♪ I'm running outta
I'm running outta ♪
2289
01:51:00,625 --> 01:51:02,041
♪ Oh-oh ♪
2290
01:51:02,708 --> 01:51:04,791
♪ No misbehaving ♪
2291
01:51:04,875 --> 01:51:06,958
♪ 'Cause I'm running outta patience ♪
2292
01:51:07,041 --> 01:51:09,583
♪ I'm running outta
I'm running outta ♪
2293
01:51:15,541 --> 01:51:18,000
♪ I'm running outta
I'm running outta ♪
2294
01:51:19,000 --> 01:51:19,875
♪ You know ♪
2295
01:51:20,875 --> 01:51:22,500
♪ All I've got to say is ♪
2296
01:51:24,500 --> 01:51:26,208
♪ I'm running outta patience ♪
2297
01:51:28,416 --> 01:51:30,750
♪ I'm running outta
I'm running outta ♪
2298
01:51:37,166 --> 01:51:39,333
♪ I'm running outta
I'm running outta ♪
2299
01:51:39,416 --> 01:51:40,666
["Outta Patience" ends]
168938
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