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00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:05,922
♪ The Simpsons ♪
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00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:05,482
D'
3
00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:07,734
Aah!
4
00:01:33,802 --> 00:01:35,095
Hey, Lance Murdock,
5
00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:37,680
you just jumped
16 blazing school buses.
6
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,808
What are you going to do now?
7
00:01:39,891 --> 00:01:42,852
I'm going to Duff Gardens.
8
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:47,273
Duff Gardens...
Home of the whiplash.
9
00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:50,610
To be completed in 1994.
10
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And the washing machine.
11
00:02:00,870 --> 00:02:02,372
Wow!
12
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,209
See the happiest fish
in the world
13
00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:08,670
at our fabulous Beer-quarium.
14
00:02:19,889 --> 00:02:21,516
Bart, warm up the car.
15
00:02:21,599 --> 00:02:23,518
We're going to Duff Gardens.
16
00:02:23,601 --> 00:02:25,228
Yay!
17
00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:27,772
Now, what do we say
when we get to
the ticket booth?
18
00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:29,315
We're under six.
19
00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:31,776
And I'm a college student.
20
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:33,736
Kids, I have some bad news.
21
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:37,574
Your Great-Aunt Gladys has...
passed on.
22
00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:40,160
Gladys, Gladys...
23
00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:43,329
about yea high, blue hair,
big dent in her forehead?
24
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:46,249
No, honey, Gladys looked
more like your Aunt Patty.
25
00:02:48,376 --> 00:02:50,795
Yeah, there she is.
26
00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:52,714
The funeral's
in Littleneck Falls.
27
00:02:52,797 --> 00:02:55,717
Looks like we'll have to go
to Duff Gardens another time.
28
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:57,468
We understand.
29
00:02:57,552 --> 00:02:59,196
No use complaining about
something you can't change.
30
00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:02,348
But I want to go
to Duff Gardens right now!
31
00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:04,267
Homer, quit pouting.
32
00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:06,311
I'm not pouting.
33
00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:07,812
I'm mourning.
34
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:09,522
Stupid dead woman.
35
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:11,900
♪ On top of spaghetti ♪
36
00:03:11,983 --> 00:03:13,651
♪ All covered with cheese ♪
37
00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:15,945
♪ I lost my poor meatball ♪
38
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,907
If you don't mind,
we're on our way to a funeral.
39
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:21,034
♪ Ding dong,
the witch is dead ♪
40
00:03:21,117 --> 00:03:22,202
♪ Which old witch? ♪
41
00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:23,369
♪ The wicked witch ♪
42
00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:24,453
Homer!
43
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:32,420
Patty, Selma, I'm sorry.
44
00:03:32,503 --> 00:03:34,756
He's hugging us.
What do we do?
45
00:03:34,839 --> 00:03:37,592
Just close your eyes
and think of MacGyver.
46
00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:44,057
Hey, Homer, this luggage
is crushing me.
47
00:03:44,140 --> 00:03:46,601
Hey, you don't hear
Lisa complaining.
48
00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:57,195
I can't believe
Auntie Gladys is really gone.
49
00:03:57,278 --> 00:03:59,781
Her legend will live forever.
50
00:03:59,864 --> 00:04:03,117
Yeah, the legend
of the dog-faced woman.
51
00:04:04,702 --> 00:04:07,497
Legend of the dog-faced woman.
52
00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:08,873
That's good.
53
00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:10,333
Homer, that's very rude of you.
54
00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:12,168
What? D'
55
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,337
Could we please stop somewhere?
56
00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:15,420
My butt's asleep.
57
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:30,270
All right, I'm almost there.
58
00:04:35,149 --> 00:04:36,776
Another place mat, sir?
59
00:04:36,859 --> 00:04:38,069
Please.
60
00:04:38,152 --> 00:04:40,446
While we're waiting for our pie,
61
00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:43,825
let's take a minute
to remember Great-Aunt Gladys.
62
00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:57,005
Wait a minute.
That was "Prince of Tides."
63
00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:58,381
Five...
64
00:04:58,464 --> 00:04:59,799
six...
65
00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:01,050
seven...
66
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:02,343
eight...
67
00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:03,594
What are you playing?
68
00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:05,930
- Counting game.
- That's nice.
69
00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:07,056
Nine...
70
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:09,142
ten...
71
00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:12,228
He was a good man.
72
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:13,771
He was a kind man.
73
00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:15,481
He gave to his community
74
00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:18,359
and asked little in return.
He never...
75
00:05:19,902 --> 00:05:21,446
That's a woman?
76
00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:23,323
Dear Lord!
77
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:28,328
Well... I guess most
of what I said can be salvaged.
78
00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:30,413
Take a seat, bozo.
79
00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:33,458
And that eulogy better not
show up on the bill.
80
00:05:33,541 --> 00:05:35,251
I'll keep this short.
81
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,587
Gladys lived alone, died alone.
82
00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:41,674
I guess you could say she was
a role model for Selma and me.
83
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:43,885
She wasn't a rich woman...
84
00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:48,056
but she was rich in spirit.
85
00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:49,515
Forgot my hat.
86
00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:58,941
Don't hassle the dead, boy.
87
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:01,402
They have eerie powers.
88
00:06:03,404 --> 00:06:05,948
I thought this thing
was gonna be catered.
89
00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:08,951
Boy, am I hungry.
90
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:11,954
I mean, I'm really,
really hungry.
91
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:14,415
It's just not fair, damn it!
92
00:06:21,130 --> 00:06:23,716
Good-bye, Great-Aunt Gladys.
93
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,010
I wish I'd made
more of an effort
94
00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:28,513
to get to know you
these last few years.
95
00:06:28,596 --> 00:06:31,224
Don't worry about it.
96
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:41,818
I'm Lionel Hutz, executor
of Ms. Bouvier's estate.
97
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:43,361
She left a video will,
98
00:06:43,444 --> 00:06:47,115
so I earn my fee simply by
pressing this "play" button.
99
00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:48,908
Pretty sweet?
100
00:06:48,991 --> 00:06:51,619
I would like to start
by reading a passage
101
00:06:51,702 --> 00:06:53,329
from Robert Frost.
102
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:56,624
"Two roads diverged
in a yellow wood, and..."
103
00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:00,002
Homer!
104
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:02,046
All in favor
of skipping the poem?
105
00:07:03,631 --> 00:07:05,216
Thank you.
106
00:07:05,299 --> 00:07:09,220
"and that has made
all the difference."
107
00:07:09,303 --> 00:07:12,306
Now, let's get down to business.
108
00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:14,392
To my executor, Lionel Hutz,
109
00:07:14,475 --> 00:07:16,894
I leave $50,000.
110
00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:18,604
Mr. Hutz!
111
00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:21,941
You'd be surprised how often
that works, you really would.
112
00:07:22,024 --> 00:07:24,318
To Marge, I leave
my collection of
113
00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:26,863
potato chips that
resemble celebrities.
114
00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:28,573
They're all here.
115
00:07:28,656 --> 00:07:30,741
Otto von Bismarck,
Maurice Chevalier,
116
00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:32,577
right up to Jay Leno.
117
00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:34,912
These chips were
my children, Margery.
118
00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:36,914
Take special care of them.
119
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:46,215
To my sister, Jackie,
120
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,217
I leave my pet iguana, Jubjub.
121
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,178
Why didn't she just leave me
122
00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:52,263
the bowel obstruction
that killed her?
123
00:07:52,346 --> 00:07:55,850
To my dear childless nieces,
Patty and Selma,
124
00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:59,437
I leave my grandfather clock
and these words:
125
00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:01,856
Don't die lonely like me.
126
00:08:01,939 --> 00:08:04,901
Raise a family, and do it now.
127
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:06,068
Now!
128
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:07,278
Now!
129
00:08:07,361 --> 00:08:08,738
Now!!!
130
00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:11,866
Hey, a grandfather clock.
Not bad.
131
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:26,005
Aunt Gladys was right.
132
00:08:26,088 --> 00:08:27,673
There's something missing
in our lives.
133
00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:29,258
Don't worry.
134
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,636
We'll get that barking dog
record tomorrow.
135
00:08:31,719 --> 00:08:35,515
Patty... I want a baby.
136
00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:50,947
What do I do here?
137
00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:52,949
Just tell us about yourself.
138
00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:56,827
Well... I want to have a baby
before it's too late.
139
00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:59,372
You're looking
at a free lunch, boys.
140
00:08:59,455 --> 00:09:01,374
Come and get it.
141
00:09:06,003 --> 00:09:09,924
Ach! Back to the loch
with you, Nessie.
142
00:09:10,007 --> 00:09:13,844
One drop of this love potion,
143
00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:18,516
and you will have
any man you desire.
144
00:09:18,599 --> 00:09:19,600
Really?
145
00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:21,561
What are
the magical ingredients?
146
00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:23,688
Mostly corn syrup,
a little rubbing alcohol.
147
00:09:23,771 --> 00:09:25,356
You'll be lucky if it doesn't
148
00:09:25,439 --> 00:09:26,899
make your hair fall out,
actually.
149
00:09:33,614 --> 00:09:34,991
Paper or plastic?
150
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:37,410
You decide.
151
00:09:37,493 --> 00:09:39,996
So, wearing a belt, are you?
152
00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:40,997
Yep.
153
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,665
No suspenders for you.
154
00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:44,750
I guess not.
155
00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:46,711
Orange is really your color.
156
00:09:46,794 --> 00:09:48,296
They make us wear this.
157
00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:51,632
Shall we continue
this conversation over dinner?
158
00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:53,884
I'm not allowed
to date customers.
159
00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:55,303
It's store policy.
160
00:09:55,386 --> 00:09:56,470
No, it isn't.
161
00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:58,639
Shut up, Arnold.
162
00:09:58,723 --> 00:09:59,849
No, go for it, man.
163
00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:01,809
"R,"
164
00:10:01,892 --> 00:10:03,561
"Q,"
165
00:10:03,644 --> 00:10:04,729
"J,"
166
00:10:04,812 --> 00:10:07,857
question mark.
167
00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:09,108
Smiley face.
168
00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:12,153
Next!
169
00:10:12,236 --> 00:10:13,487
Wait a minute.
170
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:15,865
It says here you're single.
171
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:17,908
Did I do wrong?
172
00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:23,831
Combed, biscuits, chicken,
173
00:10:23,914 --> 00:10:26,959
yellow, mailman...
174
00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:29,128
You're reading
the wine list, sir.
175
00:10:29,211 --> 00:10:30,211
Very good.
176
00:10:32,506 --> 00:10:35,843
I don't know how to
thank you for dinner.
177
00:10:35,926 --> 00:10:38,387
Use your imagination.
178
00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:56,447
Get out of my car.
179
00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:01,327
This isn't my house.
180
00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:03,537
Come to Duff Gardens
181
00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:06,540
where roaming gangs aren't
a big problem anymore.
182
00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:09,210
Now featuring
the clean-shaven sounds
183
00:11:09,293 --> 00:11:11,504
of Hooray for Everything.
184
00:11:11,587 --> 00:11:12,672
Hey, kids,
185
00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:14,465
take a walk on the wild side.
186
00:11:14,548 --> 00:11:16,133
And all the races sing:
187
00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:18,511
♪ Doo, doo, doo,
shoo-bee doobee doo ♪
188
00:11:18,594 --> 00:11:19,845
♪ Doo, doo, doo ♪
189
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:21,972
♪ Shoo-bee doobee doo, yeah! ♪
190
00:11:22,056 --> 00:11:23,974
Can we go to Duff Gardens
this weekend?
191
00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:27,103
Sure...
unless another aunt dies.
192
00:11:28,562 --> 00:11:30,356
Selma, your date's over already?
193
00:11:30,439 --> 00:11:33,109
Yeah.
I was so depressed,
194
00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:36,070
I ate a jar of expired olives.
195
00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:39,281
I guess I'll never have a baby.
196
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:41,409
Aunt Selma,
this may be presumptuous,
197
00:11:41,492 --> 00:11:43,911
but have you ever considered
artificial insemination?
198
00:11:43,994 --> 00:11:46,747
Boy, I don't know.
199
00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:48,499
You've got to be
pretty desperate
200
00:11:48,582 --> 00:11:50,167
to make it with a robot.
201
00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:55,464
I knew that.
202
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:56,924
How do I know
I'm getting quality?
203
00:11:57,007 --> 00:11:58,634
Don't worry.
204
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:01,345
Our donors have to pass
a rigorous screening process.
205
00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:03,097
All done.
206
00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:04,807
Thank you.
207
00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:06,308
Always a pleasure.
208
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,102
What a beautiful little girl.
209
00:12:14,608 --> 00:12:17,361
"101 Frozen Pops."
210
00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:19,822
A Nobel Prize winner.
211
00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:22,366
An NBA all-star.
212
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:26,203
Ooh, one of the Sweathogs.
213
00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:27,955
I checked.
It's not Horshack.
214
00:12:29,915 --> 00:12:32,960
Are you sure you want
to have a baby this way?
215
00:12:33,043 --> 00:12:35,588
Yeah, you've had some
pretty bad experiences
216
00:12:35,671 --> 00:12:37,173
ordering out of catalogs.
217
00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:39,133
Remember that
mail-order husband?
218
00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:46,682
Ooh, you look just like
your picture.
219
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,392
Sorry, my mind's made up.
220
00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:50,436
I want to have a kid,
221
00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:52,271
and this is the only way
I can do it.
222
00:12:52,354 --> 00:12:54,440
Why do you want
to have a baby so bad?
223
00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:56,984
I got a lot of love to give,
224
00:12:57,067 --> 00:12:59,445
and right now my only outlet
225
00:12:59,528 --> 00:13:01,238
is my ham radio.
226
00:13:03,991 --> 00:13:05,868
Are you sure you've
thought this through?
227
00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:07,953
A child can really
change your life.
228
00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:09,663
You'll have to give up smoking.
229
00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:11,957
- I'll chew.
- No man will want you.
230
00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:15,252
All I got now is sperm in a cup.
231
00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:20,883
Get up! Get up!
232
00:13:20,966 --> 00:13:22,676
Time to go to Duff Gardens.
233
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:23,886
Mom! Mom!
234
00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:25,763
We want to go to Duff Gardens!
235
00:13:27,348 --> 00:13:29,725
Great.
Dad's dead.
236
00:13:32,978 --> 00:13:36,732
Have you been eating
that sandwich again?
237
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,943
Sand... wich.
238
00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:43,781
Geez, we hardly made a dent
in that ten-foot hoagie.
239
00:13:43,864 --> 00:13:45,658
I'll give it a good home.
240
00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:49,870
You've been eating that thing
for a week.
241
00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:52,122
I think the mayonnaise
is starting to turn.
242
00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:54,792
Two more feet,
and I can fit it in the fridge.
243
00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:57,503
Homer, I found this
behind the radiator.
244
00:13:57,586 --> 00:13:59,463
I really think
you should throw it away.
245
00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:01,382
Suggestion noted.
246
00:14:03,884 --> 00:14:07,763
Marge, I'd like to be alone
with the sandwich for a moment.
247
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:10,474
Are you going to eat it?
248
00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:11,600
Yes.
249
00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:14,311
Aww!
250
00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:16,647
You look terrible.
251
00:14:16,730 --> 00:14:17,731
I don't care.
252
00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:19,900
I'm going to Duff Gardens.
253
00:14:25,614 --> 00:14:27,741
S-s-so cold.
254
00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:29,743
Your lips are turning blue.
255
00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:31,954
I think you better stay home.
256
00:14:32,037 --> 00:14:33,581
No!
257
00:14:33,664 --> 00:14:36,625
Duff Gardens! Hurrah!
258
00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:40,796
We really appreciate
you taking the children
259
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,590
on such short notice.
260
00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:44,508
We'll have fun, won't we, kids?
261
00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:47,469
To get to Duff Gardens,
I'd ride with Satan himself.
262
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:48,721
That's the spirit.
263
00:14:48,804 --> 00:14:50,014
See you tonight.
264
00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:51,640
Good-bye, Dad.
265
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:52,725
Don't eat any solids.
266
00:14:52,808 --> 00:14:54,518
But I love solids.
267
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:56,937
It won't be any fun
without you, Dad.
268
00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:59,356
Yayyy!
269
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:02,610
This is all your fault!
270
00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:06,780
I... How can I stay mad at you?
271
00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:09,283
Ooh...
272
00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:16,373
There it is!
273
00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:18,500
The Duff beeramid.
274
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:22,880
"The beeramid contains
so much aluminum
275
00:15:22,963 --> 00:15:25,341
"it would take five men
to lift it.
276
00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:28,886
22 immigrant laborers died
during its construction."
277
00:15:28,969 --> 00:15:31,138
Plenty more where that
came from.
278
00:15:31,221 --> 00:15:34,642
♪♪
279
00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:36,644
Look! It's
the seven Duffs!
280
00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:37,978
There's Tipsy.
281
00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:39,355
And there's Queasy.
282
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:40,438
There's Surly.
283
00:15:40,481 --> 00:15:41,481
And Remorseful.
284
00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:42,858
Hey.
285
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:45,152
Take a picture...
It'll last longer.
286
00:15:45,235 --> 00:15:46,362
Get out of here.
287
00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:52,618
Four score and seven years ago,
288
00:15:52,701 --> 00:15:54,370
we took the finest hops
and barley
289
00:15:54,453 --> 00:15:57,289
to brew a refreshing,
full-bodied lager.
290
00:16:02,711 --> 00:16:04,588
Well...
291
00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:06,840
♪ I'm rappin' A.B.,
and I'm here to say ♪
292
00:16:06,924 --> 00:16:09,051
♪ If you want to drink beer,
Duff's the only way ♪
293
00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:10,803
♪ I said, the only way ♪
294
00:16:10,886 --> 00:16:13,889
♪ Break down ♪
295
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,933
This is a disgrace.
296
00:16:16,016 --> 00:16:18,060
Settle down.
297
00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:19,812
Anything this bad
has to be educational.
298
00:16:19,895 --> 00:16:21,355
Bart!
299
00:16:21,438 --> 00:16:23,649
Let's see if they wore
underwear back then.
300
00:16:23,732 --> 00:16:26,318
Yeah!
301
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:28,153
Do you feel any better?
302
00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:30,072
No.
303
00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:31,883
What are the odds
of getting sick on a Saturday?
304
00:16:31,907 --> 00:16:33,367
A thousand to one.
305
00:16:33,450 --> 00:16:36,036
To cheer you up, I rented
a couple of videos.
306
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,706
"Boxing's Greatest Weigh-Ins"
and "Yentl."
307
00:16:38,789 --> 00:16:40,708
"Yentl"? What's that?
308
00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:42,477
It deals with a bookish
young woman's efforts
309
00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:44,211
to enter rabbinical school.
310
00:16:44,294 --> 00:16:45,671
Sounds great!
311
00:16:45,754 --> 00:16:48,674
My God, you're delirious.
312
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,185
Wow!
313
00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:02,646
You're charming the pants
off of me.
314
00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:04,773
What did you say, Aunt Selma?
315
00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,608
I said take off
those damn glasses!
316
00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:09,445
Ooh, this looks like fun.
317
00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:11,030
A bench.
318
00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:13,574
Kids, what do you say
you go get your Aunt Selma
319
00:17:13,657 --> 00:17:15,075
a beer smoothie?
320
00:17:15,159 --> 00:17:18,078
No, come on, Aunt Selma,
we got to go.
321
00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:20,748
Come on, let's have fun!
322
00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:28,839
Hey, man, if the line's
this long, it's got to be good.
323
00:17:31,425 --> 00:17:33,177
Get bent.
324
00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,387
What's going on here?
325
00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:38,140
Yentl.
I might have known.
326
00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:41,226
That Yentl puts the "she"
in yeshiva.
327
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:43,687
Well, you've cooled down.
328
00:17:43,771 --> 00:17:45,272
That's what you think.
329
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:50,444
You know, I rented another tape
330
00:17:50,527 --> 00:17:52,404
in case you felt better.
331
00:17:52,488 --> 00:17:55,949
"The Erotic Adventures
of Hercules."
332
00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:57,951
With Norman Fell as Zeus.
333
00:17:58,035 --> 00:17:59,328
Whoo-hoo!
334
00:17:59,411 --> 00:18:01,121
♪ Duff beer for me ♪
335
00:18:01,205 --> 00:18:03,123
♪ Duff beer for you ♪
336
00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:05,125
♪ I'll have a Duff ♪
337
00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:07,127
♪ You have one, too ♪
338
00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:08,921
♪ Duff beer for me ♪
339
00:18:09,004 --> 00:18:10,923
♪ Duff beer for you ♪
340
00:18:11,006 --> 00:18:12,633
♪ I'll have a Duff ♪
341
00:18:12,716 --> 00:18:14,510
♪ You have one, too ♪
342
00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:16,637
♪ Duff beer for me ♪
343
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:17,721
♪ Duff beer for you... ♪
344
00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:19,723
I want to get off.
345
00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:21,100
You can't get off.
346
00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:22,810
We have five more continents
to visit.
347
00:18:22,893 --> 00:18:25,479
Hey, Lis, I dare you
to drink the water.
348
00:18:25,562 --> 00:18:27,898
I'm not sure that is water.
349
00:18:27,981 --> 00:18:29,066
Chicken.
350
00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:31,944
Quit it, Bart.
351
00:18:32,027 --> 00:18:33,070
Quit it!
352
00:18:33,153 --> 00:18:34,571
Quit it! Quit it!
353
00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:35,655
Bart, be quiet.
354
00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:37,116
Lisa, drink the water.
355
00:18:43,038 --> 00:18:44,957
♪ Duff beer for me ♪
356
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:46,959
♪ Duff beer for you ♪
357
00:18:47,042 --> 00:18:50,254
♪ I'll have a Duff,
Duff, Duff, Duff... ♪
358
00:18:50,337 --> 00:18:52,131
They're all around me.
359
00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:53,841
No way out!
360
00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:57,761
No way out, I tell you!
361
00:18:57,845 --> 00:18:59,555
What's wrong?
362
00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:01,932
Well, you just put your head
right here.
363
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:13,610
Hercules, the Cyclops
tore off my clothes.
364
00:19:21,034 --> 00:19:23,036
♪ I'll have a Duff ♪
365
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:25,330
♪ You have one, too... ♪
366
00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:27,708
Bart! Lisa!
367
00:19:27,791 --> 00:19:30,252
♪♪
368
00:19:40,387 --> 00:19:44,641
I can see the music.
369
00:19:47,311 --> 00:19:49,897
Mitch, you're doing
a bang-up job.
370
00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:51,273
Thank you, sir.
371
00:19:57,362 --> 00:19:59,281
Whoa, that isn't good.
372
00:20:03,076 --> 00:20:04,536
Stop the ride!!
373
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:07,789
I'll have to ask my supervisor.
374
00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:09,791
Better stop it.
375
00:20:13,253 --> 00:20:14,755
Can't you do something?
376
00:20:14,838 --> 00:20:17,799
Hey. Surly only looks out
for one guy... Surly.
377
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:20,135
- Sorry, Surly.
- Shut up.
378
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,387
Don't blame these kids.
379
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:24,973
It's not their fault.
380
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:27,726
I think their father
is missing a chromosome.
381
00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:30,687
Miss Bouvier,
while we were rescuing this boy,
382
00:20:30,771 --> 00:20:33,482
hoodlums made off
with three bumper cars!
383
00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:42,866
And I don't think
George Washington
384
00:20:42,950 --> 00:20:44,076
will ever be the same.
385
00:20:44,159 --> 00:20:46,078
Ai yi, yi, yi, yi...
386
00:20:46,161 --> 00:20:50,207
We found this one swimming
naked in the fermentarium.
387
00:20:50,290 --> 00:20:53,293
I am the lizard queen!
388
00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:55,963
Give her this, and this,
389
00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:58,757
and then these.
390
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,175
Thank you, doctor.
391
00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:01,677
I'm not a doctor.
392
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:05,097
Come to Homercles.
393
00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:08,809
I can't.
The beans will burn.
394
00:21:08,892 --> 00:21:11,812
Homercles cares not for beans.
395
00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:16,608
Hi, kids.
How was Duff Gardens?
396
00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:19,611
Can't talk. Coming down.
397
00:21:21,697 --> 00:21:23,824
How do you do it, Homer?
398
00:21:23,907 --> 00:21:26,535
You take an ordinary bed sheet,
fold it around like this...
399
00:21:26,618 --> 00:21:30,289
No, I mean raising kids.
400
00:21:30,372 --> 00:21:33,166
I just couldn't cut it today.
401
00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:35,919
All I wanted was
a little version of me
402
00:21:36,003 --> 00:21:37,921
that I could hold in my arms.
403
00:21:38,005 --> 00:21:39,881
Jubjub.
404
00:21:43,093 --> 00:21:44,511
When I went to pick him up,
405
00:21:44,594 --> 00:21:47,264
Mom was trying to stab him
with a hat pin.
406
00:21:47,347 --> 00:21:49,391
Shh.
407
00:21:49,474 --> 00:21:53,979
♪ You make me feel ♪
408
00:21:54,062 --> 00:21:56,398
♪ You make me feel ♪
409
00:21:56,481 --> 00:22:01,695
♪ Like a natural woman ♪
410
00:22:05,699 --> 00:22:09,411
♪ Baby,
what you've done to me ♪
411
00:22:09,494 --> 00:22:13,623
♪ What you've done to me ♪
412
00:22:13,707 --> 00:22:18,879
♪ You make me feel
so good inside ♪
413
00:22:18,962 --> 00:22:22,632
♪ Good inside ♪
414
00:22:22,716 --> 00:22:26,887
♪ And I just want to be ♪
415
00:22:26,970 --> 00:22:29,389
♪ Want to be ♪
416
00:22:29,473 --> 00:22:30,891
♪ Close to you ♪
417
00:22:30,974 --> 00:22:35,062
♪ You make me feel
so alive ♪
418
00:22:35,145 --> 00:22:39,399
♪ 'Cause you make me feel ♪
419
00:22:39,483 --> 00:22:43,403
♪ You make me feel ♪
420
00:22:43,487 --> 00:22:46,406
♪ You make me feel ♪
421
00:22:46,490 --> 00:22:52,204
♪ Like a natural woman ♪
422
00:22:52,287 --> 00:22:53,622
Yeah.
423
00:22:55,374 --> 00:22:56,374
Shh!
424
00:22:59,336 --> 00:23:02,214
CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY
ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.
28112
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