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♪ The Simpsons ♪
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D'
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Aah!
4
00:01:21,998 --> 00:01:24,084
Resident, occupant.
5
00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:26,044
Free sample of Lemon Time.
6
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Ooh, give it here.
7
00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,840
Homer,
that's dishwashing liquid.
8
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Yeah, but what are you gonna do?
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Ooh! They're having
a retirement party
10
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for someone at the plant!
11
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I wish I could retire.
12
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Boy, that would be sweet.
13
00:01:44,395 --> 00:01:46,064
Howdy do, neighbor.
14
00:01:46,147 --> 00:01:49,025
Good pipe weather.
Thought I'd fire up the briar.
15
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,109
Can't talk. Busy.
16
00:01:50,151 --> 00:01:52,237
Okley-dokley doo.
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00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:54,155
Did you notice
how slanted he looked?
18
00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:57,200
All part of God's great plan.
19
00:02:02,872 --> 00:02:05,291
I think one side of our house
is sinking.
20
00:02:11,089 --> 00:02:12,549
Ha ha!
21
00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:16,094
"The Half-assed Approach
to Foundation Repair."
22
00:02:18,596 --> 00:02:20,682
Hello, I'm Troy McClure.
23
00:02:20,765 --> 00:02:22,701
You might remember me
from such instructional videos
24
00:02:22,725 --> 00:02:24,644
as "Mothballing Your Battleship"
25
00:02:24,727 --> 00:02:27,230
and "Dig Your Own Grave
and Save."
26
00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:29,315
Now, over the next six hours,
27
00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:32,694
I'll be taking you through
the do's and do not do's
28
00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:33,862
of foundation repair.
29
00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:36,573
- Ready?
- Ready.
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00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:38,283
First, patch the cracks
in the slab
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00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:41,119
using a latex patching compound
and a patching trowel.
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00:02:41,202 --> 00:02:46,791
Hand me my patching trowel, boy.
33
00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:49,669
Now, do you have extruded
poly-vinyl foam insulation?
34
00:02:49,752 --> 00:02:51,713
- No.
- Good.
35
00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:54,340
Assemble the aluminum J-channel
using self-furring screws.
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00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:56,301
- Install.
- What do I...
37
00:02:56,384 --> 00:02:57,987
After applying brushable
coating to the panels...
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00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,512
- Wait a minute.
- You'll need some
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00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:01,514
corrosion-resistant
metal stucco lathe.
40
00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:03,016
- Wait a minute!
- If you can't find
41
00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:04,517
metal stucco lathe...
42
00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:07,103
use carbon fiber stucco lathe.
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00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:09,647
Now barge the lathe.
44
00:03:16,654 --> 00:03:18,907
Did you see the bubble?
45
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:21,284
I'm afraid the whole west side
of your house is sinking.
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I figure it's gonna cost you...
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- Ooh, 8,500.
- Forget it!
48
00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:27,498
You're not the only
foundation guy in town.
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Let's see, foundation repair.
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00:03:31,085 --> 00:03:33,129
Here we are... D'
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00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,215
leaving the vice president
in charge.
52
00:03:35,298 --> 00:03:38,426
And now, Leaning Tower of Pisa,
eat your heart out
53
00:03:38,509 --> 00:03:40,261
and move over.
54
00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:42,305
This is one story
that's not on the level.
55
00:03:45,975 --> 00:03:49,312
Behold the horrors
of the Slanty Shanty.
56
00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:51,648
See the twisted creatures
that dwell within.
57
00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:55,151
Meet Cue Ball,
the man with no hair.
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He's hideous!
59
00:04:02,450 --> 00:04:05,203
We have to do something.
60
00:04:05,286 --> 00:04:07,789
Marge, it will cost $8,500.
61
00:04:07,872 --> 00:04:11,668
We only have 500 in the
bank, and that leaves...
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00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:12,752
80 hundred we need.
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00:04:12,835 --> 00:04:13,920
I could get a job.
64
00:04:14,003 --> 00:04:15,255
Hey...
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00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:17,382
then I could follow my dream:
66
00:04:17,465 --> 00:04:20,176
living in the woods and keeping
a journal of my thoughts.
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00:04:22,136 --> 00:04:25,682
March 15...
I wish I brought a TV.
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00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:28,518
God, how I miss TV.
69
00:04:31,145 --> 00:04:33,022
I think you have
to keep your job, too.
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00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,107
Aw!
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00:04:37,860 --> 00:04:39,988
It was the most beautiful,
72
00:04:40,071 --> 00:04:42,240
most expensive train ever built.
73
00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:43,992
The Spruce Caboose.
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00:04:44,075 --> 00:04:47,412
Some people said it was too
big to stay on the tracks.
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00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:48,997
Heh heh, they were right.
76
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:51,457
We're here
for the retirement party.
77
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:52,917
Follow the headless brakeman.
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00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:54,877
Power plant retirement party.
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00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,088
Right this way.
80
00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:04,012
Tonight, we've all come to honor
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00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:06,264
a close friend of ours.
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Boring.
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00:05:08,182 --> 00:05:10,393
A man who provided
the Burns Corporation
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00:05:10,476 --> 00:05:12,478
with 45 years
of faithful service...
85
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,105
Mr. Jack Marley.
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00:05:14,188 --> 00:05:15,188
Boring.
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00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,276
Mr. Burns,
if you don't mind,
88
00:05:18,359 --> 00:05:19,795
I've prepared
a little musical number
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00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:22,280
for Jack's special night.
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00:05:22,363 --> 00:05:24,949
♪♪
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00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:26,951
♪ There is a man ♪
♪ There is a man ♪
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00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:28,619
- ♪ A certain man ♪
- ♪ A certain man ♪
93
00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:30,288
♪ A man whose grace
and handsome face ♪
94
00:05:30,371 --> 00:05:32,206
♪ Are known across the land ♪
95
00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:34,208
- ♪ You know his name ♪
- ♪ You know his name ♪
96
00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:35,686
- ♪ It's Mr. Burns ♪
- ♪ It's Mr. Burns ♪
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00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:36,878
♪ He loves a smoke ♪
98
00:05:36,961 --> 00:05:38,963
♪ Enjoys a joke ♪
99
00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:42,050
♪ Why, he's worth ten times
what he earns ♪
100
00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:43,926
- ♪ He's Mr. Burns ♪
- I'm Mr. Burns.
101
00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:45,887
- He's Monty Burns.
- I'm Mr. Burns.
102
00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:47,680
♪ To friends,
he's known as Monty ♪
103
00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:51,434
♪ But to you,
it's Mr. Burns ♪
104
00:05:51,517 --> 00:05:52,935
♪ Bur-bur-bur-bur-burns ♪
105
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,312
Burns!
106
00:05:54,395 --> 00:05:56,189
You mind if I say a few words?
107
00:05:56,272 --> 00:05:57,899
Me, me, me.
108
00:05:57,982 --> 00:05:59,317
I need all the attention
109
00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,277
just because it's my party?
110
00:06:02,820 --> 00:06:04,489
Please don't make me retire.
111
00:06:04,572 --> 00:06:06,741
My job is the only thing
that keeps me alive.
112
00:06:06,824 --> 00:06:09,285
I never married,
and my dog is dead.
113
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,287
♪♪
114
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,372
I'm not finished!
115
00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:13,455
Yes, you are.
116
00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:22,965
With the departure
of Mr. Marley,
117
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:24,759
there will now be
an entry-level position
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00:06:24,842 --> 00:06:26,469
open in sector 7-G.
119
00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:28,137
Now get out.
The bar is closed.
120
00:06:29,972 --> 00:06:32,725
Maybe I should
apply for that job.
121
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:33,935
Forget it, Marge.
122
00:06:34,018 --> 00:06:35,561
We already live together.
123
00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:36,562
We shouldn't work together.
124
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:38,356
As the bible says,
125
00:06:38,439 --> 00:06:41,359
"Thou shalt not horn in
on thy husband's racket."
126
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Where does the bible say racket?
127
00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:45,780
It's in there.
128
00:06:45,863 --> 00:06:48,116
Look, Marge we just don't
need the money that bad.
129
00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:54,872
Wahh!
130
00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:06,676
Well, Lisa,
I finished my resumé.
131
00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:12,348
I think it needs
a little padding.
132
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,145
What are you putting in there?
133
00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:18,146
Bup, bup, bup.
134
00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:20,606
When I'm done.
135
00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:25,486
Chauffeur, seamstress.
136
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:27,405
Curator of large mammals?
137
00:07:27,488 --> 00:07:30,575
Marge, have you seen
my lunch box?
138
00:07:30,658 --> 00:07:32,994
I see.
139
00:07:33,077 --> 00:07:35,663
Mom, they expect you
to lie a little.
140
00:07:35,746 --> 00:07:37,957
Worked for
the Carter Administration?
141
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:40,001
Well, you voted for him twice.
142
00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:42,128
Lisa, shh. Someone might be
listening.
143
00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:46,966
I thought Muddy Waters
wrote that song.
144
00:07:47,049 --> 00:07:50,761
This resume is very impressive.
145
00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:53,181
Let me be the first to say
kabebu kazini.
146
00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:56,476
- What?
- Welcome aboard.
147
00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:58,239
I guess my Swahili
is not as good as yours.
148
00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:00,897
Yeah.
149
00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:02,523
Sorry.
150
00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:03,774
The position has been filled.
151
00:08:05,401 --> 00:08:06,861
Dear.
152
00:08:06,944 --> 00:08:09,489
Marge, you're making
a big mistake.
153
00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:12,283
I'm gonna see you all day
at work and all night at home...
154
00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:14,785
And that's good.
155
00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:16,829
But here's the bad part:
156
00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:21,292
Ooh, look at that headline.
157
00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:23,002
"Canada to hold referendum."
158
00:08:23,085 --> 00:08:24,104
Sorry, Marge, can't talk now.
159
00:08:24,128 --> 00:08:25,505
We need the money.
160
00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:27,298
And my life is pretty boring.
161
00:08:27,381 --> 00:08:30,301
Last week, some Jehovah's
Witnesses came to the door,
162
00:08:30,384 --> 00:08:31,969
and I wouldn't let them leave.
163
00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:33,614
They snuck away when
I went in the kitchen
164
00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:35,014
to get more lemonade.
165
00:08:35,097 --> 00:08:36,724
Yeah, lemonade is good.
166
00:08:36,807 --> 00:08:38,267
I think it's wonderful.
167
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:41,604
Mom and Dad, side-by-side
at the power plant.
168
00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:43,689
You'll be just like
Marie and Pierre Curie.
169
00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:46,526
- What did they do?
- They discovered radium.
170
00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:49,237
Then they both died
of radiation poisoning.
171
00:08:57,787 --> 00:08:59,997
It's the Curies.
We must flee.
172
00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:09,048
Cool!
173
00:09:09,131 --> 00:09:10,591
Now, Marge, just remember.
174
00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:12,510
If something goes wrong
at the plant,
175
00:09:12,593 --> 00:09:14,845
blame the guy who
can't speak English.
176
00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:19,308
Tibor, how many times
have you saved my butt?
177
00:09:21,477 --> 00:09:23,646
Maggie, your baby-sitter's here.
178
00:09:25,147 --> 00:09:26,357
What's that mean?
179
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:27,650
Whoa!
180
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:30,152
You must be sick.
Let's see.
181
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,154
What's old Doc Washburn
prescribe?
182
00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:33,739
Do you have dropsy?
183
00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:35,575
The grippe? Scopula?
184
00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:36,993
The vapors? Jungle rot?
185
00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:39,495
Shanty fever?
Poor man's gout?
186
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:43,499
Housemaid's knee?
Climactic bouba?
187
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,626
The staggers?
Dum-dum fever?
188
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:48,588
And this is your office.
189
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:50,965
That idiot Tibor lost the key,
190
00:09:51,048 --> 00:09:53,759
but you can jimmy it
open with a credit card.
191
00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:56,596
Well, have fun.
192
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:58,431
What do I do?
193
00:09:58,514 --> 00:10:01,350
Marge, please,
according to your resumé
194
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:03,561
you invented this machine.
195
00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:14,739
Put away your books, children.
196
00:10:14,822 --> 00:10:16,490
It's time for your English test.
197
00:10:19,827 --> 00:10:22,204
Sick on test day.
198
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:24,540
Why? Why?
199
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:27,168
Bart have you read
The Boy Who Cried Wolf?
200
00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:28,794
I'm halfway through it.
201
00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:31,964
I swear.
202
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:38,638
Marge, what are you doing?
203
00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:39,930
It's lunch time.
204
00:10:40,014 --> 00:10:41,599
I'll just be a minute.
205
00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:43,434
I have to finish this paperwork.
206
00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:45,227
Marge, Marge, Marge.
207
00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:47,980
Let's file this under
"R" for arrivederci.
208
00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:52,401
But where does it go?
209
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,695
Don't worry, baby.
The tube will know what to do.
210
00:11:15,257 --> 00:11:16,801
Good news, boy.
211
00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:18,844
I found a pharmacy
that carries leeches.
212
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:20,721
Well, it wasn't exactly
a pharmacy.
213
00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,223
More of a bait shop.
214
00:11:22,306 --> 00:11:24,058
Look, Grampa, I'm fine.
215
00:11:24,141 --> 00:11:25,452
I really don't need
any more home remedies.
216
00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:27,853
Oral thermometer, my eye!
217
00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:32,233
Think warm thoughts, boy,
'cause this is mighty cold.
218
00:11:34,443 --> 00:11:38,280
♪♪
219
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:39,699
Jackanapes.
220
00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:41,784
Lollygaggers.
221
00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:44,453
Noodle heads.
222
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:47,123
Enchantress.
223
00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:49,458
That woman,
she's so captivating.
224
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:52,002
Smithers, my heart's pounding
like a jackhammer.
225
00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:57,633
I must have her.
226
00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:58,801
Smithers, zoom in.
227
00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:00,594
Closer, closer.
228
00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:02,388
Closer, damn it!
229
00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:04,890
Too close.
230
00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:10,855
♪♪
231
00:12:10,938 --> 00:12:12,398
- Hello.
- Mr. Burns!
232
00:12:12,481 --> 00:12:14,316
No need for alarm.
233
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,110
I just came to give
you the orchids
234
00:12:16,193 --> 00:12:17,528
and fragrant bath oils
235
00:12:17,611 --> 00:12:18,863
I lavish upon all my employees.
236
00:12:18,946 --> 00:12:22,241
Aren't you nice.
237
00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:25,703
This makes me wonder
why morale here is so low.
238
00:12:32,209 --> 00:12:33,711
I am the angel of death.
239
00:12:33,794 --> 00:12:35,588
The time of purification
is at hand.
240
00:12:35,671 --> 00:12:37,131
Who cares?
241
00:12:37,214 --> 00:12:38,758
Marge, what can we do?
242
00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:41,343
Well, you could give them
healthier snacks.
243
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:42,928
Theme days.
244
00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:45,306
You mean like Child Labor Day?
245
00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:48,350
Actually I was thinking
of Funny Hat Day.
246
00:12:49,351 --> 00:12:51,729
Ooh, and how about piping in
some Tom Jones music?
247
00:12:51,812 --> 00:12:53,689
That always cheers me up.
248
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:56,275
♪ What's new, pussy cat? ♪
249
00:12:56,358 --> 00:12:58,319
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
250
00:12:58,402 --> 00:12:59,862
♪ What's new, pussy cat? ♪
251
00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:03,908
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa ♪
252
00:13:03,991 --> 00:13:05,576
It's working.
253
00:13:05,659 --> 00:13:06,994
It's working!
254
00:13:07,077 --> 00:13:08,996
And the healthy snacks
are on their way.
255
00:13:09,079 --> 00:13:10,831
You can't take our doughnuts!
256
00:13:12,666 --> 00:13:15,002
Yah!
257
00:13:15,085 --> 00:13:17,713
All right, anyone else
want to be a hero?
258
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,715
Ooh.
259
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,635
Marge, I'm giving you a raise
and a new office
260
00:13:22,718 --> 00:13:25,054
right next to mine.
261
00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:27,515
But, sir, that's my office.
262
00:13:27,598 --> 00:13:29,016
Don't worry, Smithers.
263
00:13:29,099 --> 00:13:30,935
I'm putting you
where the action is.
264
00:13:33,437 --> 00:13:34,939
Springtime fresh.
265
00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:36,232
Winter white.
266
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:37,858
What could be better?
267
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:39,318
Man, I really gotta...
268
00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:42,446
No!
269
00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:44,573
So, Bart, how are you feeling?
270
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,158
Can't complain.
271
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:48,369
Well, then you're ready
for your make-up test.
272
00:13:48,452 --> 00:13:51,205
My ovaries.
273
00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:56,836
Ha ha ha, suckers.
274
00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:59,338
Have you ever read
The Boy Who Cried Wolf?
275
00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:00,798
I glanced at it.
276
00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:02,967
Boy cries wolf,
has a few laughs.
277
00:14:03,050 --> 00:14:04,051
I forget how it ends.
278
00:14:05,302 --> 00:14:07,471
Bart, is that light green?
279
00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:09,974
- Yeah.
- It better be.
280
00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:12,226
Hey!
281
00:14:12,309 --> 00:14:14,061
Homie, what's wrong?
282
00:14:14,144 --> 00:14:16,814
I'm used to seeing people
promoted ahead of me...
283
00:14:16,897 --> 00:14:20,150
Friends, co-workers, Tibor.
284
00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:22,486
I never thought
it would be my own wife.
285
00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:25,155
Well, maybe you'd get promoted
if you worked a little harder.
286
00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:27,908
Are you kidding?
I work like a Japanese beaver.
287
00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:30,494
Really? I came to see you
three times today.
288
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:32,663
Twice, you were sleeping,
and once,
289
00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:34,826
you were kicking that ball
of electrical tape around.
290
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:37,251
Well, I won't sleep
in the same bed
291
00:14:37,334 --> 00:14:39,169
with a woman
who thinks I'm lazy.
292
00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:42,256
I'm gonna go right downstairs,
unfold the couch,
293
00:14:42,339 --> 00:14:44,258
unroll the sleeping ba...
294
00:14:44,341 --> 00:14:46,176
Good night.
295
00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:56,395
I dreamed about her again
last night, Smithers.
296
00:14:56,478 --> 00:14:57,789
You know that dream
where you're in bed
297
00:14:57,813 --> 00:15:00,107
and they fly in
through the window?
298
00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:11,660
You've been reading
my wish book, sir.
299
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,454
Yes, well, Smithers,
300
00:15:13,537 --> 00:15:15,956
I want you to arrange
a party for two at my estate.
301
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,417
Marge, me, and do you think
302
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:19,919
you could you dig up Al Jolson?
303
00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:22,963
Do you remember
we did that once before?
304
00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:24,548
That's right, he's dead...
305
00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:26,342
and rather pungent.
306
00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:28,528
The rest of that night
is something I'd like to forget.
307
00:15:28,552 --> 00:15:31,805
All right then, bring me
that crooner she likes so much...
308
00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:33,140
Tom Jones.
309
00:15:33,223 --> 00:15:36,060
♪♪
310
00:15:36,143 --> 00:15:39,229
These spurs are killing me.
311
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:41,065
Hey, sit on it.
312
00:15:41,148 --> 00:15:43,859
Buddy, '50s Day
is next Wednesday.
313
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:46,278
I got to go home and change.
314
00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:53,410
Here's your money.
315
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:55,496
Well, you know, the problem
here was water leakage.
316
00:15:55,579 --> 00:15:57,331
If you just buy
a 50-cent washer...
317
00:15:57,414 --> 00:15:59,291
I've got a better idea.
318
00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:01,001
Get the hell out!
319
00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:02,711
Look, I got some washers
in my truck.
320
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:05,589
- I'll give you one.
- Marge, get my gun.
321
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,051
♪♪
322
00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:14,974
- Tom Jones?
- Yes?
323
00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:16,493
I was wondering
if you'd be interested
324
00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:18,185
in performing
at a private party?
325
00:16:18,268 --> 00:16:20,396
Sorry, mate,
I don't do private parties.
326
00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:23,482
Well, then, perhaps you should
look in this suitcase.
327
00:16:23,565 --> 00:16:25,275
All right, but I don't see...
328
00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:30,990
Pleasant dreams, Mr. Jones.
329
00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:34,576
Bart, to avoid this test,
you've had smallpox, the bends,
330
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:37,329
and that unfortunate
bout of rabies.
331
00:16:37,413 --> 00:16:38,580
I'm not sure I'm over it.
332
00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:41,000
Shove it, witch.
333
00:16:43,127 --> 00:16:44,586
No more excuses.
334
00:16:49,925 --> 00:16:53,470
Her claws are really digging
into my skull.
335
00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:55,556
She can crush clams with them.
336
00:16:55,639 --> 00:16:57,599
Get it off, get it off,
get it off!
337
00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,977
Here we have
an Alaskan timber wolf.
338
00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:01,645
He weighs 240 pounds,
339
00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:03,529
and his jaws can bite
through a parking meter.
340
00:17:03,605 --> 00:17:05,524
He does get spooked
by loud noises.
341
00:17:05,607 --> 00:17:09,278
Loud? That's our secret word
for the day!
342
00:17:21,790 --> 00:17:23,751
- My God!
- Baaah!
343
00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:25,669
She must think you're
after her eggs!
344
00:17:25,753 --> 00:17:26,962
I only ate one.
345
00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:32,760
Nice doggie.
346
00:17:39,683 --> 00:17:41,852
Ivanhoe is the story
of a Russian farmer
347
00:17:41,935 --> 00:17:43,020
and his tool.
348
00:17:46,106 --> 00:17:48,192
Wolf! Wolf! Wolf!
349
00:17:48,275 --> 00:17:50,903
I'm afraid you'll have to do
better than that.
350
00:17:53,113 --> 00:17:55,574
Sorry, no sale.
351
00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:58,577
You're wasting
valuable test time.
352
00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:04,333
Mr. Burns, you wanted to see me?
353
00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:08,504
Actually, I was wondering
if you were free
354
00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:10,464
for a little
get-together tonight.
355
00:18:10,547 --> 00:18:13,092
Dinner, dancing, and...
356
00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:15,469
Mr. Tom Jones.
357
00:18:15,552 --> 00:18:21,016
- Hello, Marge.
- That's it, big smile, everybody's happy.
358
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,519
My goodness!
359
00:18:24,978 --> 00:18:27,397
My husband will be so excited.
360
00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:29,650
You have a husband?
361
00:18:29,733 --> 00:18:32,611
Yes, I can picture him now.
362
00:18:32,694 --> 00:18:34,113
Rugged good looks.
363
00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:36,240
Sweater knotted
about his shoulders.
364
00:18:36,323 --> 00:18:39,993
Curly locks shining in the sun
like spun gold.
365
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:45,707
Homer, Mr. Burns gave me
another raise today.
366
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:48,085
The senile old fool.
367
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:51,922
You're fired!
368
00:18:52,005 --> 00:18:54,716
You can't fire me
just because I'm married.
369
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,718
I'm going to sue
the pants off you.
370
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:58,929
You don't have to sue me
to get my pants off.
371
00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:06,311
Wah!
372
00:19:08,021 --> 00:19:09,857
Hey, wolfie.
373
00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:11,483
Put down that hors d'oeuvre.
374
00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:14,528
It's time for the main course.
375
00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:19,116
Aaah!
376
00:19:19,199 --> 00:19:21,326
Get up!
377
00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:22,703
Back to class, lad.
378
00:19:22,786 --> 00:19:24,204
Nothing to see here.
379
00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:34,089
Here's my test.
380
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,008
Bart, I'm not even
going to grade this
381
00:19:36,091 --> 00:19:37,777
until you tell me the truth
about what happened out there.
382
00:19:37,801 --> 00:19:40,345
The truth is...
383
00:19:44,766 --> 00:19:46,185
There was no wolf.
384
00:19:46,268 --> 00:19:47,936
I faked the whole thing.
385
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,813
I'm just gonna lie
on the floor now.
386
00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:51,377
Please don't let me
swallow my tongue.
387
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:56,737
There, doesn't it feel better
to tell the truth?
388
00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:00,490
Dear.
389
00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:03,118
All right now, boy.
390
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,870
We've got to rub
some garlic on you
391
00:20:04,953 --> 00:20:06,163
before the next full moon.
392
00:20:07,664 --> 00:20:09,708
Don't feel bad for losing.
393
00:20:09,791 --> 00:20:11,585
I was wrestling wolves
394
00:20:11,668 --> 00:20:14,463
back when you were
at your mother's teat.
395
00:20:17,424 --> 00:20:20,010
Why, Marge, look at
all those flies
396
00:20:20,093 --> 00:20:21,345
buzzing around your head.
397
00:20:21,428 --> 00:20:23,430
You're a mess, woman.
398
00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:29,770
So, do you think I have a case?
399
00:20:29,853 --> 00:20:31,647
Mrs. Simpson, you're in luck.
400
00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:34,942
Your sexual harassment suit
is just the thing I need
401
00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:36,860
to rebuild
my shattered practice.
402
00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:38,946
Care to join me
in a belt of scotch?
403
00:20:39,029 --> 00:20:41,323
It's 9:30 in the morning.
404
00:20:41,406 --> 00:20:43,158
Yeah, but I haven't slept
in days.
405
00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:46,703
Last chance.
406
00:20:48,163 --> 00:20:51,124
Yeah.
407
00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:53,460
Mr. Burns, we've got
witnesses, precedent,
408
00:20:53,543 --> 00:20:55,254
and a paper trail a mile long.
409
00:20:55,337 --> 00:20:58,423
Yes, well, I have
ten high-priced lawyers.
410
00:21:04,179 --> 00:21:06,306
He left his briefcase.
411
00:21:06,390 --> 00:21:08,934
Hey, it's full
of shredded newspapers.
412
00:21:09,017 --> 00:21:11,395
Well, I guess that's it.
413
00:21:11,478 --> 00:21:13,772
People like us
can't afford justice.
414
00:21:13,855 --> 00:21:15,274
Come on, Homie.
415
00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:17,317
Let's go before
he fires you, too.
416
00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:19,152
No! Mr. Burns,
417
00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:21,405
I'm not leaving
until you say you're sorry
418
00:21:21,488 --> 00:21:22,781
for what you did to my wife.
419
00:21:22,864 --> 00:21:25,284
You love her, too?
420
00:21:25,367 --> 00:21:26,702
Damn right.
421
00:21:26,785 --> 00:21:28,578
Homer, I want you
to show this woman
422
00:21:28,662 --> 00:21:31,790
- the time of her life.
- Gotcha. Marge,
423
00:21:31,873 --> 00:21:34,060
we're getting some drive-thru,
then we're doing it twice.
424
00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:35,794
No, no, no.
425
00:21:35,877 --> 00:21:38,588
I've got something
even more special in mind.
426
00:21:38,672 --> 00:21:40,507
♪ It's not unusual ♪
427
00:21:40,590 --> 00:21:42,259
♪ To be loved by anyone ♪
428
00:21:43,552 --> 00:21:45,304
♪ It's not unusual ♪
429
00:21:45,387 --> 00:21:47,306
♪ To have fun with anyone ♪
430
00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:48,849
Ooh!
431
00:21:48,932 --> 00:21:50,934
Get help, love.
432
00:21:51,018 --> 00:21:52,352
Call Interpol.
433
00:21:52,436 --> 00:21:53,729
Get me a hacksaw, anything.
434
00:21:53,812 --> 00:21:55,605
♪ It's not unusual ♪
435
00:21:55,689 --> 00:21:57,649
♪ It happens every day ♪
436
00:21:57,733 --> 00:22:00,694
♪ No matter what you say ♪
437
00:22:00,777 --> 00:22:05,282
♪ You'll find it happens
all the time ♪
438
00:22:05,365 --> 00:22:07,701
♪ And love will never do ♪
439
00:22:07,784 --> 00:22:10,871
♪ What you want it to ♪
440
00:22:10,954 --> 00:22:17,836
♪ Why can't this crazy love
be mine? ♪
441
00:22:28,430 --> 00:22:30,098
♪ It's not unusual ♪
442
00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:33,560
♪ To be mad with anyone ♪
443
00:22:33,643 --> 00:22:35,145
♪ It's not unusual ♪
444
00:22:35,228 --> 00:22:38,774
♪ To be sad with anyone ♪
445
00:22:38,857 --> 00:22:40,484
♪ But if I ever find that ♪
446
00:22:40,567 --> 00:22:43,695
♪ You've changed at any time ♪
447
00:22:43,779 --> 00:22:45,697
♪ It's not unusual to find ♪
448
00:22:45,781 --> 00:22:48,116
♪ That I'm in love with you ♪
449
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:52,871
♪ Whoa-whoa,
whoa-whoa-whoa, whoa- ♪
450
00:22:52,954 --> 00:22:54,456
Shh!
451
00:22:57,709 --> 00:23:00,962
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