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1
00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:12,799
(playfully spooky music)
2
00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:16,959
FEMALE VOICE:
As far back as I can remember,
3
00:00:17,080 --> 00:00:19,319
my life has been steeped in death.
4
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:22,519
(Heart monitor flatlines)
5
00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:25,719
MALE DOCTOR: Time of death, 11.20.
6
00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:27,559
(instruments clanging)
7
00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:30,639
(wailing)
8
00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:37,959
V/O: Who knows if that's
a bad thing.
9
00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:41,039
But what I do know,
is that death,
10
00:00:41,160 --> 00:00:44,559
like a child's soother,
has always been there for me
11
00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:46,639
when I needed relief.
12
00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:48,839
Unfortunately for me,
13
00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:50,919
relief is in short supply.
14
00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:55,159
Remember... think of someone
who annoys you. Pull the trigger.
15
00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:57,199
(gunshot) (glass smashing)
16
00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:00,039
(gun reloading)
17
00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:04,719
(gunshot)
18
00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:09,599
Look at you,
getting good at this.
19
00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:11,639
(gun reloading)
20
00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:13,679
(gunshot)
21
00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:15,519
Duh. I missed.
22
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:19,239
I wouldn't be so sure about that.
23
00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:22,679
V/O: Take my 10th birthday.
24
00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:24,799
Stood over that dead deer,
25
00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:28,079
it was the first time my father
saw me happy.
26
00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:31,839
Like, actually... really happy.
27
00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:36,519
How I prayed it wouldn't be
the last.
28
00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:39,959
(sniffs)
29
00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:42,399
What's that for?
30
00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:49,079
(blood spilling) (flesh tearing)
31
00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:53,839
Being the kind of person I am,
32
00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:57,399
school would have been torture,
but for two key things.
33
00:01:57,520 --> 00:01:59,279
My writing...
34
00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:02,679
And my best friend, Mal.
35
00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:05,359
I'm tellin' ya.
You get up there,
36
00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:07,999
you're gonna win this contest.
37
00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:10,039
A couple of them fancy words,
38
00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:12,559
and they'll be eating out
of your hand.
39
00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:14,559
And if that doesn't work?
40
00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:16,439
Picture everyone naked.
41
00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:18,839
Now come on. Let's hear it.
42
00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:21,199
(sighs)
43
00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:27,079
'That day... while smashing
her bully's skull off the credenza,
44
00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:29,639
surprise took hold.'
45
00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:32,959
V/O: Picturing people naked
was a bust.
46
00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:36,439
But picturing them dead... bingo.
47
00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:38,839
'The sound of intracranial cracking
48
00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:41,479
as brain splattered off walls...'
That's disgusting!
49
00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:46,359
'.. was akin to a music this young
girl had never heard before.'
50
00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:48,359
V/O: Right then I realised
51
00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:50,679
that death and writing were
a powerful match.
52
00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:53,719
'That this is where happiness lies.'
53
00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:58,239
'Of course, like everything else
that gave me peace,
54
00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:00,319
it was fleeting.'
55
00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:05,039
'Yet when a doctor did finally see
me about my crushing depression,
56
00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:07,319
all we talked about were pills.'
57
00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:09,479
'Oh, so many pills.'
58
00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:14,119
'But five years ago,
I put the brakes on that.'
59
00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:17,599
'Those things made me
sleepwalk, lose time.'
60
00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:20,119
'Do batshit stuff
I barely remember.'
61
00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:25,079
'The bottom line? They made me
more dead than alive.'
62
00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:26,839
(rapping on glass)
Elvira!
63
00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:28,799
'And I want to feel alive.'
64
00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:30,719
Elvira!
(furious knocking)
65
00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:33,919
'Then... (gleeful) something
amazing happened!'
66
00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:35,879
(keyboard tapping)
67
00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:37,879
(dying gasp)
68
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,839
'You know, they say if you want
to write, you have to sit down,
69
00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:43,479
open a vein,
and bleed on the page.'
70
00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:47,359
'Talk about words to live by.'
71
00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:50,279
'So, here I am.'
72
00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:53,919
'The Kilraven Chronicle's
brand new obituarist.'
73
00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:57,559
'A job I've dreamed of.
And yet...
74
00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:01,239
.. this happiness I've yearned for
remains missing.'
75
00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:04,919
'Like a jigsaw piece lost down
the side of a couch.'
76
00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:06,999
When you're done, file it.
77
00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:10,399
And then what? Then you wait
for someone to die.
78
00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:12,439
And when might that be?
79
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,999
Clancy... never say that out loud.
80
00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:19,199
Your job is to write obituaries.
81
00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:21,199
To take that talent
you claimed you had
82
00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:24,679
to make the deceased alive,
to give voice to the voiceless.
83
00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:27,999
Not to sit there praying that
some pensioner pops his clogs.
84
00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:29,519
(ping)
85
00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:32,159
What are you looking at?
Nothing.
86
00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:34,599
Well then,
get back to work.
87
00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:36,839
It won't write itself.
88
00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:42,399
##
89
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,319
(music builds to crescendo)
90
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:04,359
ELVIRA V/O:
Population 5,000 and falling...
91
00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:09,519
'Kilraven is like a fun fair in
winter..
92
00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:13,559
'Its people convinced that,
if the sun only shone,
93
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:16,159
if that factory re- opened,
94
00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:18,319
if the foreigners left,
95
00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:20,959
their lives would be good again.'
96
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:25,199
'On the surface,
a bog-standard, backwater.'
97
00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:27,239
(gulls crying)
98
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:29,599
'But as my Dad likes to say,
99
00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:31,839
under that veneer of nothingness,
100
00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:35,079
there's a tonne of weird shit
going on.'
101
00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:37,919
(spooky music)
102
00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:42,439
'Ah, funeral homes.'
103
00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:45,279
'Heaven!'
104
00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:47,919
'And it's not just the peace and
quiet or the human remains.'
105
00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:53,839
'See, people go through life
wearing big, stupid grins.'
106
00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:56,239
'Hiding how they really feel.'
107
00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:58,639
'Here, there is no smiling.'
108
00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:02,199
'Only tears, pain and impotence.'
109
00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:04,559
'Here...
110
00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:06,679
.. you see people
as they really are.'
111
00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:10,479
'Damn!'
112
00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:13,639
'That half-blind mortician made him
more alive than my obituary did.'
113
00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:21,479
My mammy gave you a tip.
114
00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:25,359
She insisted.
Well... she wants it back.
115
00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:27,639
She said your writing was rubbish.
116
00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:29,919
I'm still finding my voice.
117
00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:33,279
She said you're at this six months.
118
00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:35,959
Now, we expected better.
119
00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:38,279
Look...
120
00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:41,119
.. Daddy was a farmer.
121
00:06:41,840 --> 00:06:43,559
And a Fenian.
122
00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:47,279
'No, Daddy was a fat fuck
that barely fit inside this box.'
123
00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:49,679
Yet, reading what you wrote,
124
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:51,679
'twas like I didn't even know
the man.
125
00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:54,999
Which, tells me, you didn't
get to know the man.
126
00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:58,479
Which, last time I checked,
127
00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:00,599
was your job.
128
00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:02,359
(toilet flushing)
129
00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:11,839
(door closing)
130
00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:13,719
(clears throat)
131
00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:16,759
Patsy... Tom.
132
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,079
(menacing music)
133
00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:25,079
I'm sorry for your loss.
134
00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:27,079
And I'm sorry for yours.
135
00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:33,519
(chatter)
136
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,119
ELVIRA V/O: Crime correspondents.
137
00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:44,519
'To some, a juicy gig.'
138
00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:47,519
'But to others, it's a slow death,
139
00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:49,999
haunted by unsolved murders.'
140
00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:51,879
Who did this to you?
141
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,759
'For Clive, indeed, for Kilraven,
142
00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:56,119
that meant Maria Riedle.'
143
00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:59,039
Clive? My office. Now.
144
00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:03,519
Ah, the Grim Reaper
145
00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:06,119
Out from behind the death desk.
146
00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:08,679
Tell me, is what this lot says true?
147
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,439
Is what true?
148
00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:13,999
Your co-workers reckon
you listen to the death notices
149
00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:16,479
as you twiddle your twaddle.
150
00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:18,399
(sniggering)
151
00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:24,959
(door closing)
152
00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:28,279
(Hughie's voice slightly muffled)
This gives me no joy, but...
153
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:30,279
I've two options.
You either go freelance,
154
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:32,439
or I let you go.
155
00:08:32,560 --> 00:08:34,359
Thirty years?! Just like that?
What am I to do, Clive?
156
00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:36,239
You know what, Burns? What?
157
00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:38,119
Eat SHIT!
158
00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:40,239
Ah, come on!
159
00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:41,959
Jesus.
160
00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:44,479
Clancy...
161
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:56,519
Clive quit. It was his choice.
162
00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:59,919
'Cos you asked him to go freelance.
Circulation is down.
163
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:03,439
I'm having to combine
Farming with Fashion.
164
00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:05,679
That will kill Kate.
165
00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:09,559
No way! That's her.
Getting the email now.
166
00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:12,719
Perhaps you could combine
birth notices with obituaries.
167
00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:14,839
Cut out the middleman.
168
00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:16,999
And perhaps your work could improve,
just a tad,
169
00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:19,159
so that the families stop bitching
at me.
170
00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:23,199
Look, you'll get 200 an obit.
171
00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:26,319
No regular salary?
We'll review it down the line.
172
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:28,039
Hughie...
173
00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:30,839
.. on average, one person dies
every ten days in this town.
174
00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:33,639
Sometimes, I've waited weeks.
Isn't that a good thing?
175
00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:35,639
Not when I'm supporting my father?
176
00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:39,359
Chin up. At least you're still
a reporter.
177
00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:41,439
You're not stuck in here like me,
178
00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:43,999
massaging ulcer-inducing
spreadsheets.
179
00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:45,719
But--
180
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:47,799
How will I live? I dunno.
181
00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:50,799
Maybe you should start killing
people.
182
00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:52,959
(INTERNAL V/O)
Maybe I can start with you.
183
00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:55,199
Maybe I can start with you.
184
00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:58,359
(awkward silence)
185
00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:01,919
(laughs)
186
00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:04,079
(nervous chuckle)
187
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:05,959
THAT's the spirit.
188
00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:08,119
Now, off you pop.
189
00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:10,319
It won't write itself.
190
00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:17,399
ELVIRA V/O: Because I had my own
stuff going on back then,
191
00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:19,759
I missed all the signs.
192
00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:23,799
'But it's like, one day,
Dad woke up and decided
193
00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:27,319
'You know,
I think I'll take to the drink.'
194
00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:30,839
You know, I read somewhere
that freelancers
195
00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:33,599
get paid by the column, or even
by the word, sometimes.
196
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:35,519
Or perhaps, never.
197
00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:40,359
How is the 'aul noggin'?
198
00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:42,839
It'd be a lot better if that was
your last of the day.
199
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:46,279
You know I'm always here
for ya if you want to talk.
200
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,319
Yeah.
201
00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:51,399
The same applies to you.
202
00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:55,519
You can always get
another job in the town.
203
00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:59,359
V/O: Notice he didn't tell me to get
another job, in another town?
204
00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:03,439
'Poor man. He can't see a future
without me.'
205
00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:05,759
I know you think you've got
no future, but...
206
00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:08,799
Writing's everything I have.
207
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:11,599
This job, Dad...
208
00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:13,519
It's like, my life.
209
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,079
And by the way,
210
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:18,439
you know if I'm broke,
you're broke too, yeah?
211
00:11:18,560 --> 00:11:20,319
Jesus!
212
00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:24,879
Tadaa!
213
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,399
I tell you something...
214
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,399
.. nobody hurts my wee girl.
(liquid flowing)
215
00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:32,679
Especially not that ballbag,
Hughie. Shut the door!
216
00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:35,199
It breaks my heart to
see you like this.
217
00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:38,639
Hey...
218
00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:41,719
I could dust off my CV.
219
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:47,159
Are you gonna tell me to go back
and wash my hands? No...
220
00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:49,959
CVs, Dad.
That's what I just said.
221
00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:53,159
That's what I've been writing.
222
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,159
But people's lives aren't CVs.
223
00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:58,919
They're much, much more.
But I like your writing.
224
00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:00,679
Yeah... (sighs)
225
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:03,039
It can be better. How?
226
00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:05,439
'Not always, but sometimes,
227
00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:07,639
Dad inspires me.'
228
00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:11,119
I'm going to write advances.
229
00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:14,559
Obituaries for the pre-dead.
230
00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:16,879
Like zombies?
Like Michael Jackson.
231
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,439
Who did a mean zombie.
And who, the minute he did die,
232
00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:22,279
the big papers had his obit
up on their websites.
233
00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:25,519
Years in the making,
researched, refined.
234
00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:27,639
Ready in a heartbeat to go to print.
235
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:29,239
(thud)
236
00:12:30,560 --> 00:12:33,439
So you'll, what... pick old people?
Sick people.
237
00:12:33,560 --> 00:12:35,559
People whose lives dice with death.
238
00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:37,719
And write them up before
they do die.
239
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,399
'These advances,
with thought and time,
240
00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:44,639
will be heartfelt and moving.'
241
00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:49,439
'Not crap jotted down as the coffin
slides into the ground.'
242
00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,559
'Something the families adore.'
243
00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:53,519
(keyboard tapping)
244
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:56,839
'That gives Hughie no choice
but to put me back on full pay.'
245
00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:01,359
##
246
00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:10,799
How does it feel, Alice?
247
00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:16,159
To die? To know you're dying.
248
00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:22,159
It's Rose I worry about.
Your daughter?
249
00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:26,519
A big lug of a thing. Tomboy.
250
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:30,479
I don't think she'll cope.
She'll have to grieve.
251
00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:32,839
They say there are stages.
252
00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:36,919
Denial, anger bargaining,
depression, and...
253
00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:39,719
Suicide?
Eh...no.
254
00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:41,639
Acceptance.
255
00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:45,759
Here, who are you?
256
00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:49,119
I know, I shouldn't. But...
257
00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:51,159
Your daughter.
258
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:53,599
Rose.
259
00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:55,759
Remember?
260
00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:58,119
Thank God!
261
00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:00,679
I'm here, Mam.
262
00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:03,919
Finally, you lost some weight.
263
00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:08,279
But would it kill you to wear
a little bit of rouge, huh?
264
00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:14,039
Where were we?
265
00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:17,759
You were advising me
on how to accept your death.
266
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:20,679
Who says I'm dying?
267
00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:22,759
No one listens to me.
268
00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:25,159
The story of my life.
269
00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:29,199
Why do people say that,
the story of my life?
270
00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:31,399
Because everyone's got one.
271
00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:34,959
And I'd kill to hear yours.
272
00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:40,239
'For Alice, the voyage of discovery
is not in seeking new lands,
273
00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:43,999
but seeing old lands with new eyes.'
274
00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:47,239
Dump that last line.
275
00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:49,159
You're not bloody 'Prowst.'
276
00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:51,079
Proust.
277
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:55,239
You don't like it? Kudos for the
turnover time. She's barely cold.
278
00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:59,079
But, Clancy, your words screech
when they should sing.
279
00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:01,279
Do better. Or don't do it.
280
00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:10,839
Do better? Fine.
281
00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:12,639
How about a dead man walking.
282
00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:15,199
Or well... climbing.
283
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:17,479
It's a really dangerous job, right?
Says who?
284
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:19,919
The National Statistics Office.
285
00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:22,919
They claim that fatality rates
for roofers are...
286
00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:25,759
.. through the roof.
287
00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:29,559
Nothing can kill me.
Not no roof nor no... statistics!
288
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:33,039
Sorry, Bob. But the stats
beg to differ.
289
00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:35,519
'Always reaching for the heights,
290
00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:39,359
as Bob mounts his ladder,
one last time.
291
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:42,799
Think of him as gone,
yet not defeated.'
292
00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:46,799
Lose that last line.
You're not bloody Hemingway.
293
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:50,519
Look, there is some improvement.
294
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,359
I only spotted two typos.
295
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:00,599
V/O: The people of this town think
my next advance
296
00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:02,959
is Kilraven's nicest man.
297
00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:05,839
'Dad STRONGLY disagrees.'
298
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:08,839
'Still, the guy is riddled with
cancer. Stage Four.'
299
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:11,039
'And because there's no Stage Five,
300
00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:13,199
it's just a matter of waiting.'
301
00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:17,879
'And waiting...
302
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,719
.. and waiting!'
303
00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:22,439
'And waiting.'
304
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:24,999
'And waiting!'
305
00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:28,399
'And waiting, and...'
306
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:34,919
Beautiful day, isn't it?
307
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:41,799
'It's the weirdest thing.
This dying man is refusing to die.'
308
00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:44,319
Beautiful day, isn't it?
309
00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:49,799
'His body screams cancer.'
310
00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:52,799
Beautiful day, isn't it?
311
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:57,279
'Yet four weeks since my last obit,
312
00:16:57,400 --> 00:16:59,919
Sandy walks this earth.'
313
00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:02,719
It's a beautiful day, isn't it?
314
00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:06,519
'My bank balance is a bust,
and my work remains unread.'
315
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:09,519
(tapping)
316
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:12,959
Beautiful day, isn't it?
317
00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:16,759
'My words, trapped on my
hard drive.'
318
00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:18,919
'Sandy's tumours, fighting for
their lives.'
319
00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:22,799
'A kango hammer,
chipping away at my brain.'
320
00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:24,799
'What the hell do I do?'
321
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:33,879
What the hell are you doing?!
Beautiful day, isn't it?
322
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:35,759
Are you serious?
323
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,759
No one in their right mind could
think today is a beautiful day.
324
00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:41,679
Are you saying there's something
wrong with my mind? Finally.
325
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:43,919
Something out of your mouth
that makes sense.
326
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:47,359
You can't talk to me like that.
I'm sick.
327
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:49,639
Oh, join the fucking club.
328
00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:55,759
Go get them. Make me.
329
00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:57,799
Fine.
(he struggles)
330
00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:01,599
Aghhh.... ah!
331
00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:05,039
(effort grunts)
332
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:08,999
We're going to the Guards.
Why? I... I saved you.
333
00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:11,799
Jesus. Saved me!
334
00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:14,159
You're more stupid than I thought!
335
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:17,519
You didn't know. Know what?
336
00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:21,639
The town laughs at ye.
The sewer rat unfit to be a father.
337
00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:24,559
The freak waiting for people to die.
338
00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:26,999
Now your mother? Mmm...
339
00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:28,919
A tasty bit a pipe.
340
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:31,199
Pity she died and you didn't.
341
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:35,639
You were right. So you admit it?
342
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:38,479
You did push me. No.
343
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,239
It is a beautiful day.
344
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:45,159
(effort grunt)
345
00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:47,039
(scream)
346
00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:52,239
##
347
00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:08,119
V/O: I'd be lying if I said
348
00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:10,639
I didn't fantasize about
doing this someday.'
349
00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:13,159
'I just never knew how I'd feel.'
350
00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:15,559
Mrs Benson, thanks for seeing me.
351
00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:17,999
I know this is weird,
352
00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:21,799
with me being the one
who saw your husband... slip.
353
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:24,759
But.. look, I won't take up
much of your time.
354
00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:27,559
The thing is... Yeah.
355
00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:30,959
Your words are how Sandy
will be remembered.
356
00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:33,799
The more you know...
The more I can,
357
00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:36,999
pardon the pun, bring him to life.
358
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:40,279
Okay.
359
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:42,639
But we're getting drunk.
360
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:52,199
So... (chuckles)
I'm under this big sycamore.
361
00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:54,039
First time making love.
362
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:57,959
But there's this farmer,
sneaking a sly look at us,
363
00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:00,159
his Friesians behind him.
364
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:04,039
I slip my bits back in...
Which are still fabulous!
365
00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:06,479
But my husband,
still at half-mast,
366
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:09,039
offers to put on
a second showing.
367
00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:11,079
(awkward laugh)
368
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:14,679
Sandy could be crude that way.
369
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:16,799
I'll see if I can get that in.
370
00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:20,479
(sighs deeply)
371
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:22,919
Then... that's that.
372
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:26,799
Really?
373
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:29,799
'Cos I feel like
we're still missing something.
374
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:34,719
Look, let's go off record.
375
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:36,879
Eh?
376
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:39,839
Okay.
377
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:44,119
Sandy was...
378
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:48,279
.. in remission!
379
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:50,079
(laughing)
380
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:53,439
The last five years!
Sandy wasn't sick.
381
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:55,879
He just loved the attention!
382
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,119
But he had a blog.
383
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:01,239
About his ups and downs -
the town read it.
384
00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:02,799
Lies.
385
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:06,799
Sandy could have lived
30 more years but for that fall.
386
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:09,719
(laughs, and coughs)
387
00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:13,599
Oh pet, you're crying.
Sorry.
388
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:16,359
It's a shock.
389
00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:21,999
I thought Sandy had months left,
not years.
390
00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:24,599
V/O: Years I took from him.
391
00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:26,839
I thought I'd killed a dying man,
392
00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:30,119
when really, I'd killed a man
who deserved to die.
393
00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:33,479
That's okay, love.
'I've never felt such happiness.'
394
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:37,439
'And everyone wants to be happy.'
395
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:39,719
'Right?'
396
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:44,759
'Sadly, we can do nothing for Sandy,
but cherish his memory.
397
00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:47,039
As surely his wife, Margo will,
398
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:51,759
who one day hopes to meet him
under that sycamore in the sky,
399
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:56,439
where they will frolic like teens
while the Friesians watch.'
400
00:21:57,640 --> 00:21:59,759
No, no, no, this is good.
I know it is!
401
00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:03,399
I can't publish it. You can your
typos can go fuck-- Margo!
402
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:06,479
Sandy's wife doesn't want him
declared dead.
403
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:09,439
But... he is dead.
404
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:12,439
His body was never recovered.
She's going to wait out the 7 years.
405
00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:14,559
So no one reads my work?
406
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:16,559
And no pay?
407
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:19,679
(deep sigh)
I'm sorry, Clancy.
408
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:21,799
It kills me as much as it
does you.
409
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:27,119
V/O: No matter.
410
00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:29,239
'I like what I wrote.'
411
00:22:29,360 --> 00:22:31,599
'I've found my voice now.'
412
00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:34,439
'A voice with murder as a muse.'
413
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:38,879
'Of course, I should stop.'
414
00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:41,919
'But now is not
a good time for me.'
415
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:45,679
I'll see you later?
416
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:50,599
'Your first kill is like
your first orgasm.'
417
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:52,399
'You feel guilty.'
418
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:54,519
Is Patsy's chest still at him?
419
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:56,639
'You're not sure how it happened.'
420
00:22:57,400 --> 00:22:58,839
Belt.
421
00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:00,599
'But you're damn sure you want
another.'
422
00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:02,599
'At least, that's what Mal says.'
423
00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:05,759
(horn beeps)
424
00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:08,439
Hey, where d'ya get your licence?
A fuckin' raffle?
425
00:23:10,120 --> 00:23:12,319
Who was that?
Sylvester McHugh.
426
00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:15,799
Big builder back in London.
Contracted all his work out.
427
00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:19,639
Cut so many corners that three
boys died on the job.
428
00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:23,279
And Kilraven welcomed
that asshole back with open arms.
429
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:27,119
'As I said,
sometimes my Dad inspires me.'
430
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:29,079
I tell you something,
431
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:32,759
someone should clip his wings,
before anybody else gets hurt.
432
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:36,879
'Still, it's all well and good,
but I've got to be smart.'
433
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,079
'That means never getting
caught.'
434
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:41,319
'Which means picking the right one,
which means...
435
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:43,679
.. picking someone who deserves it.'
436
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:48,959
'So, does Sylvester deserve it?'
437
00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:56,679
Oh, Mal.
438
00:23:57,400 --> 00:24:01,039
You're my best friend,
but you've lousy taste in men.
439
00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:04,279
(engine revving)
440
00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:10,879
You know, we're in the same boat.
441
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:12,919
We both don't want some rando
442
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:15,039
who's spent his whole life in
Kilraven, but...
443
00:24:16,360 --> 00:24:19,359
.. trust me, Mal, someone--
Better will come along?
444
00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:22,479
Elvira! Christ, you've been
spouting that same shite
445
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:24,719
for the last five years.
446
00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:30,599
Look-- (she sighs)
What?
447
00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:33,479
Last Christmas, I overheard
the Scriney sisters.
448
00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:36,479
Those piss-bags said that
girls like us,
449
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:39,119
who never left Kilraven were
different from girls
450
00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:41,159
who went to college.
I went to college.
451
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:46,439
Okay, online. But so did you.
452
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:49,879
Ah, look - a month blowing
my grant on MDMA is not college.
453
00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:55,079
Anyways, they said
we were robbed of our dreams.
454
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:57,239
That our small-minded brains
never grew
455
00:24:57,360 --> 00:24:59,799
because we never went anywhere.
456
00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:03,479
Then I meet Sylvester.
And he's seen the world.
457
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:07,279
Well, London. So I says,
I'll have that for a bit.
458
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:10,639
And why not, like?
The man's a...
459
00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:12,519
.. go-getter.
460
00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:14,479
V/O: You may think we have
nothing in common.
461
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:16,559
'This crazy mess and me.'
462
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:19,839
'But you could not be more wrong.'
463
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:24,719
'Both mothers dead.'
'Mine in a pool of her own blood,
464
00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:27,919
hers on a hen party in Liverpool.'
465
00:25:29,360 --> 00:25:31,399
Deadly place, isn't it?
466
00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:36,559
What's the sex like?
(Mal chortles)
467
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:38,519
You never ask me about
my sex life.
468
00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:40,559
Well, you never ask me
about mine.
469
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:47,879
He says I blow the wife
out of the water. (she laughs)
470
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:50,399
Oh, get this. The last night
he was on top of me,
471
00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:52,959
he starts twitching
like crazy.
472
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:55,519
Isn't that a good thing?
473
00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:57,479
He was having an epileptic fit.
474
00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:00,519
Forgot to take his pills.
475
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:03,639
Who says I can't make men drool,
eh?
476
00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:06,879
You know, Mal. Guys like him...
477
00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:10,439
Push them and they're dangerous.
So he's got a temper!
478
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:13,079
He's up the walls with work,
but I can handle mys--
479
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:16,719
Fuck it!
480
00:26:17,360 --> 00:26:19,119
Here, have mine.
481
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:27,119
It's just a 99, Mal.
Nothing's ever just a 99, Elvira.
482
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:32,439
You know, sometimes,
I just feel like...
483
00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:34,519
A laughing stock?
484
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:37,599
Lost.
485
00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:42,199
People tell me to skip town.
I say, why?
486
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:44,879
I'm from here.
487
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:47,279
What I want is something
to happen here! Like what?
488
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:49,159
I dunno.
489
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:52,279
I just want it to happen.
490
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:55,279
I'll wait for it if I have to.
491
00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:57,639
V/O: I'm done waiting.
Sylvester's purpose in life
492
00:26:57,760 --> 00:26:59,999
seems to be to hurt
everyone around him.
493
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:03,439
'Therefore, if my purpose
in life is to kill,
494
00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:05,839
I think I'll make some rules.'
495
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:10,199
'And one must be,
no one I love ever gets hurt.'
496
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:13,879
(pulsating music)
497
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:17,919
(muffled chatter)
498
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:24,439
'This is a small town.'
499
00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:27,199
'That means there can never be
a whiff of murder.'
500
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:29,879
'Everything must be a mishap
or a suicide.'
501
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:34,159
'An act of God,
or a sex act gone wrong.'
502
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:35,879
(clanging)
503
00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:39,439
(rustling)
504
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:00,119
#
505
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:09,159
'A while back, a journalist opened
an image sent to him on Twitter.'
506
00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:11,279
'It was strobe lighting.'
507
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:13,839
'The guy, a known epileptic,
508
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:17,079
came within seconds of dying,
when he suffered a seizure.'
509
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:20,839
'Still, it could have been worse.'
510
00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:23,319
'He could have been trapped
in the boot of a car.'
511
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:25,319
(flicking)
512
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:32,759
(loud clanging)
513
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:37,399
(car engine humming)
514
00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:41,439
#
515
00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:47,399
(music builds)
516
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:57,239
'Crucial to this whole thing,
is research.'
517
00:28:57,360 --> 00:28:59,319
(barking)
518
00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:02,359
'In this case, the dark web
and a can of Ketamine.'
519
00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:05,399
'Several good blasts,
they're toast.'
520
00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:07,959
'But a couple of spritzes...
521
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:10,399
..it's sleepy time.'
522
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:17,039
#
523
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:23,919
(music pings)
524
00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:26,879
(pills rattling)
525
00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:30,119
'Sylvester's going to spend
the next few days
526
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:34,159
swallowing a little something
from my own medicine cabinet.'
527
00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:36,919
#
528
00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:46,479
'Also essential is intel.'
529
00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:48,599
'And because she tells me
everything,
530
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:52,879
I always know when and where
Sylvester and Mallory will meet.'
531
00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:58,799
I told you he'd remember!
532
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:00,839
Aren't they gorgeous?
533
00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:06,399
(tapping)
534
00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:17,319
How do you do that?
535
00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:21,399
Eh... do what?
Well, hello!
536
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:24,879
Get people to open up to you like
that. When they're at their lowest.
537
00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:28,999
The people I deal with
are consumed with death.
538
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:31,759
Add sedatives and stodgy funeral
food, they soon realise
539
00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:34,559
their deep dark secrets aren't
worth taking to the grave.
540
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:37,799
Emerson Stafford.
Elvira-- Clancy.
541
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:41,319
I know. Tell me, what are
you working on now?
542
00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:43,639
It's a... surprise.
543
00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:47,399
Oh... does it not get depressing?
544
00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:48,959
Obituaries?
545
00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:52,639
I spend two lines out of a hundred
on how someone died.
546
00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:55,319
The rest is a celebration
of their life.
547
00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:58,159
Yeah, but you make your living
from death.
548
00:30:58,280 --> 00:31:01,199
As do cigarette companies--
And crime correspondents.
549
00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:03,279
I'm taking over from Clive, so...
550
00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:04,919
looks like we're working together.
551
00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:07,279
Now I know, staff will bitch
about the new hire.
552
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:09,519
But don't worry.
But I'm paid per piece.
553
00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:11,799
Still, they'll get mighty snotty
when they see
554
00:31:11,920 --> 00:31:14,239
every second article is mine, right?
555
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:16,799
Hey, uh... you up to anything later?
556
00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:21,039
Only I thought I'd grab a drink
at the Mariner.
557
00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:26,919
How's nine sound?
It sounds a lot better than 'no'.
558
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:30,239
I'll see you later.
559
00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:33,639
V/O: Tonight was to be Sylvester's
last night on earth.
560
00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:35,599
'Looks like we both got lucky.'
561
00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:39,799
(chatter)
562
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:47,039
Sorry I'm late.
Don't worry about it.
563
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:49,959
What are you doing here?
564
00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:52,519
Well 'hello' to you too.
What are you having, Elvira?
565
00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:55,399
Whatever Mallory's having.
566
00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:57,519
'Since she's having
what I'm having.'
567
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:00,039
What can I get you?
Whiskey and ice...
568
00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:05,879
(excited squeal)
569
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:09,039
What's that for? You said someone
better would come along,
570
00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:11,759
and bam! I bump into him.
571
00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:14,399
What? He could be married.
572
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:16,679
Or gay?
573
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:18,959
You don't like him, do you?
574
00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:21,959
Good.
575
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:24,679
Eh, hey Emerson.
576
00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:28,159
Elvira reckons you're gay-- which...
I'm down with.
577
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:31,039
No, I don't. I'm sorry
to disappoint you. (Mal sighs)
578
00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:33,479
Well, with that put to bed, tell us.
579
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:36,839
How do you end up working
at our little rag,
580
00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:39,879
for that wanker, Hughie?
I like Hughie.
581
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:42,319
At least you know
where you stand with him.
582
00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:44,319
You like Hughie because
he lets you away with murder.
583
00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:47,399
Oh, does he?
Let you away with murder?
584
00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:50,759
So Emerson, why journalism?
585
00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:52,719
(bored sigh) And why here?
586
00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:55,879
Ahh, you guys will laugh at me.
No, we won't.
587
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:58,759
It was my cousin's funeral. I was 9.
588
00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:01,799
He was 6, poor kid drowned.
Pool, river or sea?
589
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:04,039
Sea.
590
00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:06,919
But he had this twin.
Now on the day of the funeral,
591
00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:09,559
his parents for some reason -
do not ask me why -
592
00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:11,999
but they decided to dress them both
in matching outfits.
593
00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:14,639
So you can imagine, I'm standing
there, I'm 9 years old.
594
00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:17,959
I'm looking into this coffin with
this kid lying there, my cousin.
595
00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:20,279
And then they close the lid,
and stick the lad in the ground.
596
00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:22,639
'There are sixteen words
for 'love' in Latin,
597
00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:25,439
yet none to describe
how turned on I am.'
598
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:27,759
But there's this other lad,
standing right there.
599
00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:30,399
Identical to the one just buried.
600
00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:33,079
I thought I was looking at a ghost.
It changes you.
601
00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:37,359
And I went home and told my friends
what had happened.
602
00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:40,679
And they had the worst nightmares,
they'd ever had in their lives.
603
00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:42,599
That's when I knew,
604
00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:45,599
my job is to bring the world's
weirdest stories to the people.
605
00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:49,159
And what better place than Kilraven.
606
00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:51,639
We don't even have
a Penneys.
607
00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:54,639
But we have people like Mal,
who has committed armed robbery.
608
00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:57,519
'Armed' is a stretch.
You had a golf club.
609
00:33:57,640 --> 00:33:59,799
A putter. Still took two grand
out of that shop.
610
00:33:59,920 --> 00:34:02,279
Well, it would have been a grand
more if it were a Penneys.
611
00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:04,199
Did you get time? Suspended.
612
00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:07,239
Eighteen months if I darken
the door of a court again.
613
00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:09,959
Well, I should write a story about
you.
614
00:34:10,080 --> 00:34:12,039
(Mal giggles)
615
00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:14,079
'Reformed con makes good'.
616
00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:17,679
Maybe I should write a story on
you. 'Reformed con dies'.
617
00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:20,879
Eh...
618
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:24,119
My phone is broken, can I--
Yeah, yeah. Use mine.
619
00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:36,039
(ping)
620
00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:38,199
(message tinkle)
621
00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:40,959
(door creaking)
622
00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:45,959
You followed me in here?
This is the mens.
623
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:48,519
Oh... yeah.
624
00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:50,439
I wondered what that smell was.
625
00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:53,199
'Whatever he does, he's giving
me that feeling again.'
626
00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:54,839
(message tinkles)
627
00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:57,959
'And then there's that
other feeling.'
628
00:34:59,240 --> 00:35:03,079
I've to go. Ah, stay.
Mallory and I would love it.
629
00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:05,679
'Two shandies and they're
'Mallory and I' already?'
630
00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:08,119
Dad's ill.
631
00:35:08,240 --> 00:35:10,079
Give Mal her phone.
632
00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:15,959
(flickering)
633
00:35:19,240 --> 00:35:20,839
#
634
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:26,159
(slamming)
635
00:35:36,720 --> 00:35:38,639
(engine humming)
636
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:41,719
(foreboding music)
637
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:46,039
(faint sound of Garda radio)
638
00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:49,239
(gravel crunching)
639
00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:56,119
(rapping)
640
00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:00,119
Ehm...
641
00:36:00,240 --> 00:36:01,919
(window opening)
642
00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:06,679
Everything alright?
643
00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:09,359
Good. Now...
644
00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:11,839
Why are you parked here?
645
00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:15,799
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
646
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:18,399
Just getting my driver's license.
647
00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:26,999
I-I come here sometimes to...
648
00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:28,919
.. clear my head.
649
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:31,679
Funny that. Because usually
when people come here,
650
00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:34,399
they come here to do drugs.
Do you do drugs?
651
00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:38,879
Have you been drinking?
Just the one, Guard. Really?
652
00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:41,399
Because you seem
very nervous.
653
00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:44,639
Are you nervous?
654
00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:47,639
Then you won't mind me checking
your vehicle. Yeah?
655
00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:49,519
Be my guest.
656
00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:54,199
Anything in your boot?
657
00:36:54,320 --> 00:36:56,319
V/O: Just an eight-inch hunting
knife and enough strobe lighting
658
00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:58,399
to kill a man.'
659
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:01,159
Still...
660
00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:03,319
.. you better pop it for me.
661
00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:06,959
The thing's broken.
662
00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:08,519
(keys jangling)
663
00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:10,559
You'll have to do it yourself.
664
00:37:16,720 --> 00:37:18,479
(foreboding music)
665
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:25,919
Hey--
(Garda radio sounds)
666
00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:28,479
What's with the can?
667
00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:32,119
The thing is always acting up.
It's just...
668
00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:35,199
Rose...
669
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:37,039
A call came in. A domestic.
670
00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:40,119
Gimme a second.
671
00:37:40,240 --> 00:37:43,199
Alice worked nights at
Fruit of the Loom.
672
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:46,399
Having spent a whole day
weaving baskets,
673
00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:50,879
she'd still be home in time to make
her daughter's breakfast.
674
00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:55,759
A glamorous woman,
her speciality was...
675
00:37:56,920 --> 00:37:59,159
Fancy baskets.
676
00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:02,199
Made from ash strips
woven in patterns.
677
00:38:02,320 --> 00:38:05,879
Topped with carved flowers as--
Her mother's had been.
678
00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:10,959
And as she hoped her daughter,
Rose's would someday be too.
679
00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:14,519
You wrote that? My mam's obituary?
680
00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:20,079
We spoke before she passed.
681
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:22,639
She said you meant the world to her.
682
00:38:24,240 --> 00:38:26,519
She had a weird way
of showing it.
683
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:29,439
Left an awful lot unsaid.
684
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:33,239
Must have made
accepting her death difficult.
685
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:34,559
Ah...
686
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:38,079
She was always telling you
to lose weight, find a man.
687
00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:40,319
Wear make-up, join a gym.
688
00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:43,279
You've made your point!
My point is...
689
00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:46,959
She thought you were beautiful.
690
00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:49,399
She wished she'd said it more.
691
00:38:50,320 --> 00:38:52,239
She said that?
692
00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:55,439
Those very words?
693
00:38:57,680 --> 00:38:59,919
I never met my Mam.
694
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:02,879
I'd die happy hearing
what she thought of me.
695
00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:09,479
(siren wailing)
696
00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:14,119
(keys jangling)
697
00:39:16,240 --> 00:39:18,039
Safe home.
698
00:39:22,240 --> 00:39:24,079
Oh, and Miss Clancy...
699
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:27,159
When my time comes,
700
00:39:27,960 --> 00:39:30,359
I'd like you to write my obituary.
701
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:33,199
Done.
702
00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:35,079
V/O: 'As am I.'
703
00:39:36,720 --> 00:39:38,759
'I'm not cut out for this.'
704
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:41,599
'That close to getting caught.'
705
00:39:41,720 --> 00:39:44,239
'No way. No!'
706
00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:46,679
'It ends now.'
707
00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:48,879
##
708
00:40:00,240 --> 00:40:01,559
(locks clicking)
709
00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:07,119
So this is where they found
Maria Riedle's body?
710
00:40:07,240 --> 00:40:08,879
(deep inhale)
711
00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:12,279
(coughing)
712
00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:15,399
You okay?
713
00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:17,639
Heard it's in both lungs now.
714
00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:19,959
The rest of my files this week.
715
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:23,879
(gulping)
716
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:25,679
First Guard on the scene?
717
00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:29,919
If you want to get the DPP file
off her, you'll need leverage.
718
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:34,199
The 'Mallory' I mentioned.
719
00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:36,559
Last person to see Maria alive.
720
00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:39,399
Five years have passed.
721
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:42,279
But I bet she still remembers
every tiny detail.
722
00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:44,359
Oh, I'm way ahead of ya there.
723
00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:46,839
I didn't drag you to this town
to get your hole. No.
724
00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:49,279
You dragged me here so
I could finish what you couldn't.
725
00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:53,079
Emerson, this is my life's work.
726
00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:55,279
Mmm. Jesus!
727
00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:58,039
You still don't get it.
She's German!
728
00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:00,279
The story's international.
729
00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:03,639
If your work leads to the arrest
of Maria Riedle's killer,
730
00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:05,919
we're talking books, films.
731
00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:08,599
In German?
In every language!
732
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:11,639
Netflix?
733
00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:15,279
I was thinking more Sky,
but we'll ask them too.
734
00:41:16,280 --> 00:41:18,519
That grabbed your attention.
735
00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:20,839
Now... our deal.
736
00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:23,839
A change of plan.
737
00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:28,199
Upon the arrest of the killer,
738
00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:31,079
you don't get half of my life
savings. You get the lot.
739
00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:32,839
(curious)
Yeah.
740
00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:34,879
What's the catch?
Not a penny
741
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:37,199
if you don't finish up before I die.
742
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:40,199
And when do you think
that might that be?
743
00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:42,159
(cackling and coughing)
744
00:41:44,560 --> 00:41:46,799
I'm working on it.
745
00:41:47,680 --> 00:41:50,399
And you're sure this scumbag--
and I'm not saying it's him.
746
00:41:50,520 --> 00:41:53,839
Are you sure her husband did it?
No doubt.
747
00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:55,919
Now go and prove it.
748
00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:00,039
Cheers. Go on!
749
00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:06,559
(chilling music)
750
00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:10,719
(banging)
Elvira!
751
00:42:11,760 --> 00:42:13,439
(banging)
752
00:42:13,560 --> 00:42:15,319
Uhhh!
753
00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:17,719
(he sighs)
Are the rats at ya?
754
00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:21,359
I didn't always drink, you know?
Oh yeah?
755
00:42:21,480 --> 00:42:23,959
Just these last few years.
Yeah, well...
756
00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:26,039
Maybe one day
I'll tell you why.
757
00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:28,359
But for the moment,
I enjoy it. Alright?
758
00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:32,399
And I could stop any time I want.
But truthfully,
759
00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:35,079
I don't like me without it, anyway.
Yeah, well..
760
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:37,639
People change, Dad.
Yeah pigs might fly--
761
00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:39,599
(tyres screeching)
Jesus Christ!
762
00:42:40,720 --> 00:42:44,439
Go on, jog on redneck!
Ya prize bollocks!
763
00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:46,759
Do you know he's suing his own
brother over his father's will?
764
00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:48,919
And the poor fella's not
the full shilling.
765
00:42:49,040 --> 00:42:51,239
And then he steps out
in front of ya?
766
00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:53,359
He's an accident waiting
to happen, that one.
767
00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:55,799
V/O: No. When I say, I'm done.
I'm done.
768
00:42:58,280 --> 00:43:01,159
Hughie, you promised to review
my salary. Now is the time.
769
00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:07,039
You read The Lancet, Clancy?
770
00:43:07,160 --> 00:43:09,719
They claim that
flu season is late this year,
771
00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:12,199
but it's going to hit big.
772
00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:14,839
Soon. That's a boon for your beat.
773
00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:16,879
So no review.
774
00:43:20,440 --> 00:43:22,679
I'm paying you for Sandy Benson.
775
00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:26,679
I can't publish it, but quality work
deserves recognition.
776
00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:28,879
There's enough here for two obits.
777
00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:32,119
You ever heard of Sylvester McHugh?
778
00:43:34,240 --> 00:43:36,359
'Fraid not.
779
00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:38,439
A controversial figure.
780
00:43:38,560 --> 00:43:40,959
They found him slumped over
the wheel of his car this morning.
781
00:43:41,080 --> 00:43:42,759
V/O: His meds.
782
00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:45,399
His wife says he suffered
from epilepsy.
783
00:43:45,520 --> 00:43:49,319
That's the official line.
'I forgot to change them back.'
784
00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:52,119
Look, with Sandy's obit...
785
00:43:52,240 --> 00:43:54,639
'I did that. That was me.'
786
00:43:54,760 --> 00:43:58,559
It finally felt like you got
the person you were writing about.
787
00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:01,319
(gleeful)
Too right, I did!
788
00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:04,279
And also, it inspired me.
789
00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:08,359
To see you not have it,
search for it, and find it,
790
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:11,319
it made me want to get back
into 'real' journalism again.
791
00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:13,079
Big and small.
792
00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:15,799
This town is full of stories.
793
00:44:16,560 --> 00:44:18,599
I'm going to find them.
794
00:44:18,720 --> 00:44:21,879
So I stay on 200 an obit?
Desperation drives you.
795
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:23,959
Let's see where it takes us.
796
00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:26,279
Do you know what you're doing?
797
00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:28,839
I'm making a good journalist.
798
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:31,639
V/O: No, you're taking a
flamethrower to this town.
799
00:44:31,760 --> 00:44:33,839
You just keep doing exactly as
you've been doing
800
00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:35,719
these last few weeks.
801
00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:38,839
And if work turns slow again?
802
00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:42,039
You'll think of something.
803
00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:46,839
#
804
00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:53,719
Hey babe! Hiya. Will we bounce?
Wow.
805
00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:55,799
(kissing)
806
00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:04,559
Hey! Watch it.
I'm sorry.
807
00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:07,319
V/O: They say if you want to write,
808
00:45:07,440 --> 00:45:11,519
you have to sit down, open a vein,
and bleed on the page.'
809
00:45:11,640 --> 00:45:15,039
'Thing is, whose vein
are they talking about?'
810
00:45:16,840 --> 00:45:19,439
'And whose blood do they mean?'
811
00:45:21,520 --> 00:45:24,039
'No matter. Hughie's right.'
812
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:27,239
'These things won't write
themselves.'
813
00:45:29,080 --> 00:45:30,759
#
58266
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