All language subtitles for Desperate Housewives S05E14 Mama Spent Money When She Had None.DVDRip.HI.cc.en.ABC

MARY ALICE: Previously
on Desperate Housewives.

Porter Scavo,
you are under arrest.
What?

Porter had nothing
to do with that fire.

Apparently,
there's a witness
that says otherwise.

A witness?
What're they
talking about?

Porter was accused,
but not convicted.

Katherine's love affair...

I got the flowers.

Became serious.

Mommy needs to lose
a few pounds.

You want to help Mommy
be beautiful again?

No.

As did Gabby's resolve.

Here's my cookbook.

And Bree's success
came at a price.

You can be
a little tough sometimes.

It's only to be expected.

I don't think I do that.

I know you don't.

People don't talk about
money in the suburbs.

Mostly because
they don't need to.

The ones who have it
let you know with their
brand-new clothes,

their expensive appliances

and their manicured lawns.

The ones who don't have it

let you know with barbecues
that need replacing,

walls that need painting

and classic cars
that need to be sold.

Here you go, Walter.
She's all yours.

This is so awesome.

Where's Tom? I want to thank
him for making this the
greatest day of my life.

He's inside, but between sobs,
he wished you happy driving.

Where is that man going
with Tom's car?

That man is Walter Brotski,
and he just bought it.

Tom loves that car.
Why would you sell it?

Sadly, we can no
longer afford
Tom's midlife crisis.

(KATHERINE CHUCKLES)

Okay, here's the deal.
We're sort of broke.

Oh, Lynette.

Between Porter's legal fees
and that ghost town that
we call a restaurant...

I thought Scavo's
was doing well.

When times get tough,

people do without things
like pizza and sports cars.

I am so sorry.
I had no idea.

It's okay. Just keep it
under your hat.
It's a little embarrassing.

You should not be embarrassed.

This is a horrible economy.
We're all in the same boat.

(CAR HORN HONKING)

(LAUGHS)

Hello, ladies.
What do you think?

You bought a new car?

My book just made
the Times' bestseller list.

Now they're talking
three-book deal, so I
got the urge to splurge.

Oh!

And look what just blew
on my windshield
at the stop sign.

(SIGHS)

Life is good.

MARY ALICE: Yes, people
don't talk about money
in the suburbs,

because when they do,
other people get angry.

Whenever someone
on Wisteria Lane
buys a new car,

a simple ritual is performed.

So how do you like my new car?

It's gorgeous!
I am so jealous.

I wish I had one.

But on this day,

one of the owner's friends
refused to participate
in the ritual.

And even more surprisingly,

the owner of the car
in question didn't
seem to notice.

Look, there's even
a refrigerator.

The Lexus dealer said
there's just enough room

for a split of champagne
and two chilled glasses.

(ALL EXCLAIM)

And the best thing is
it's a hybrid, so you
can barely hear it.

Let me show you.

Actually, I have to go to
work. But congratulations,
Bree, it's a beauty.

Was it just me
or was that
a little abrupt?

Don't take it personally.
I think she's got other
things on her mind.

Oh, dear.
Is something wrong?

Well... Apparently,
she and Tom are having
financial problems.

They just had to sell Tom's car.

And, you know,
I saw her at the
recycling center.

She was turning her
cans in for money.

(GASPS)

Yikes. That's like a half
a step away from selling
your eggs on the Internet.

And here I am, rubbing my
fabulous new car in her face.

I feel awful.

Don't. How could
you have known?

Thank God I didn't show her
how the car parks itself.

(SIGHS)

But you're gonna show us, right?

Well, it is pretty amazing.

It's nice to see you again,
Mrs. Mayer.

Thank you for agreeing
to see us, Mr. Hobson.

Running a school like
Oakridge mustn't leave you
with much free time.

Happy to oblige.

So I heard through
the grapevine that

there might be an opening
for another student?

I assume you're referring to
the Henderson boy's expulsion?

Yeah. He bit his
teacher, huh?

They had that problem
with their older boy, Toby.

It's a family of biters.

The whole situation
was incredibly unfortunate,

but we can't tolerate
that kind of behavior.

You wouldn't have to
worry about that with MJ.

(CHUCKLES)

He's so well-behaved.

Look, I know how much you
want your son at Oakridge.

You've called us every week
for the past five months.

I've been too pushy.

Please don't take it
out on MJ. He is such
a bright kid.

Say something in Spanish.
I'm bored.

Be bored in Spanish.

Mrs. Mayer, you can relax.
We would love to have
MJ join us here.

Seriously?
Yes.

As a matter of fact,
his name was first
on our waiting list.

Fantastic!

(SUSAN EXCLAIMS)

Here's a schedule for you.

Here are some insurance
forms you need to fill out.

And here's the tuition.
As you can see,
it's gone up a tad.

Yeah. That's quite a tad.

But we're starting in the
middle of the year,
so we'd only pay half, right?

Yes. We've already
prorated it.
That is half.

Fantastic.

Hey, I just thought of a way
for us to celebrate our
anniversary next week.

What do you think about
dinner at The Palm?

The Palm?

As in, "They don't even
show the prices on
the menu" The Palm?

(LAUGHS)

Honey, we're still paying
off credit card debt.

Not anymore.
The deal closed.
I got the bonus.

(GASPS)

Oh, my God!
That's great!

Why didn't you tell me this
when you were begging
for sex this morning?

You would've closed
that deal, too.

(CHUCKLES)

We're rich again!
Hallelujah!

We're not "lighting cigars
with five dollar bills" rich,

but we are headed
in the right direction.

Oh, honey, we're going to
be us again, the
old Carlos and Gabby.

You know what? I'm gonna
wear my dress from
the night you proposed.

(SNICKERS)

You still fit in that?

We're rich again! Hallelujah!

Have you not noticed me
working my butt off?

I'm almost back to the weight
I was when we got married.

All I meant was
you don't have to wear
an old dress.

I will buy you a new one.

No, no. This'll be way
more romantic.

(CHUCKLES)

I'm one good colonic away
from being the old me.

I'll call the restaurant.
They can write that
on the cake.

Sorry. I know how much
you loved that car.

This is all I have to
remember her by.

I called her Foxy.
You want to know why?

No.

DAVE: Tom.

I just heard.
You sold the car?

Yeah. Well, we needed
the money.
The restaurant is dying.

Apparently, people don't
want to buy their pizza

from parents of an
alleged arsonist.

Yeah, but Porter didn't do it.

Maybe people still think
that he's guilty or maybe
it's the economy.

Or maybe it's both.
I don't know.

All I know is, I am
driving a "dad car,"

while some other guy
is out rolling with Foxy.

Oh, buddy. I'm so sorry.

I wish there was
something I could do.

We should get going.

But if we can help in any way,
let us know, okay?

Thanks.

Okay, what just happened
back there?
Nothing.

Yeah, like that's going to work.

Why can't you ever remember
who you're dealing with?

Bob? Bob? Bob? Bob,
I can keep this up
all day. Bob?

Fine.

The day the case against
Porter was dismissed,

I was going over the discovery
materials that the DA sent me.

Okay? So?

The witness who put Porter
in the storage room
at the club,

the only one linking him
directly to the arson,

Tom's helpful buddy there,
Dave Williams.

What?
Yeah.

Porter wasn't even in
the building. What the
hell is Dave doing?

I don't know, but we have
to tell Tom and Lynette.

No, that'll just get ugly.
I'm okay with that.

Lee, the charges have
been dropped. It's no
longer our business.

Besides, there's something
about that Dave guy
that scares me.

(GRUNTING)

I don't get it.

I'm only a few pounds away
from my runway weight.

You want me to let it out?

That would be cheating.
I'm going to try to
go pee again.

It's okay. You've had
two children.
The weight redistributes.

Give in to it. I did.

Jean, you didn't just
give in to it. You slapped
a piece of cheese on it.

Yeah, I said it.
Now just fix the hem.

And this time, try not to
leave the edges frayed.

(SIGHS)

(EXCLAIMS)

Hey, Edie! Wait up!

Now don't forget,
the clasp is broken.

I'll replace it.

It may not match exactly,
but your hair will cover it.

Jean, Carlos is taking me
to The Palm,
not out for hoagies.

Make it perfect.

I see Jean is back.
Yeah. Times are good.

Not for her.

Hey, Ms. McCluskey
said something about

you losing five pounds
in one day.
How'd you do that?

I got drunk on
bourbon and threw up
all over her lawn.

No, not that story.
Something about
a boot camp.

Oh, yeah. Just started.
Very military, very intense.

That's perfect. I'm trying
to fit into an old dress.
I need intense.

Forget it. You can't get in
without a recommendation,

and I'm not
recommending you.
Why not?

Because you'd embarrass me.
This is real exercise.

It's not the lotus position
followed by a mocha latte.

You're just afraid
I'm going to look
better than you.

6:00 a.m. The park.
Prepare to die.

Jeez. This is the tuition?

We're going to blow
his college fund
on first grade.

I know, I know.
We may have to give up
a few luxuries.

Yeah, like food and heat.

Okay, you know the problems
they're having at his school.

And now with all the budget
cutbacks... I mean,
this place is fabulous.

I'm not saying it's not.
I'd kill to send him there.

I just can't swing it.

We've got to do something.

My editor just quit, and my
books are not exactly flying
off the shelves.

Could you pick up
some extra shifts?

Oh, yeah, I will.
As soon as they create
a 30-hour day.

I'm working around the clock.

What about that big job
you just did for the
last three months?

What did you do with that money?

Susan, we're not
married anymore.

What I do with my money,
none of your business.

Yeah, well,
if we were still
married, you...

(DOOR CLOSING)

Probably would've waited
until I finished my sentence.

What's this?
A check.

I understand you and Tom
are going through
some rough times.

No.

(SIGHS)

Thank you,
but I can't accept this.

However, I would like to know
how much I'm not accepting.

$20,000?

How many cookbooks
are you selling, woman?

We just went to
a second printing,

and now they're talking
a three-book deal.

So seriously,
I'm not gonna miss
that money.

Wow, that must be nice.
But I can't accept it.

Why not? What's the
point of success

if you can't share it
with the people you love?

Because the people that
you love may not be
able to pay you back,

and then you stop loving them.

Then it's not a loan,
it's a gift.

Don't you have
a birthday coming up?
And so do you.

And I'm going to feel real
crappy when you unwrap
your lavender bath beads.

Come on, Lynette. You can't
tell me this money won't
take the pressure off.

It would. But I can't.

I wouldn't want it to
affect our friendship.

(SCOFFS)

Okay.

Although, how would you
like to own a piece of
an Italian restaurant?

What?
It wouldn't be
a loan or a gift.

It would be an investment
that would buy you, say,
15% of Scavo's.

That's an intriguing offer.

If we do well,
you get a cut of the profits.

If we go belly-up,
we liquidate, and you
get the first $20,000.

And then, of course,
my family moves in with you.

So, do we have a deal?

We most certainly do, partner.

Some people think it's
strange I have a contract
on my exercise class.

But I want people to
understand the commitment
I expect from them.

I found in the past...
Here you go. All signed.

You didn't even read it.
No need. I'm up for anything.

Although I did just get
a manicure, so nothing
that might chip a nail.

Mrs. Solis, let me tell
you what I learned
in the Israeli army.

A group without commitment
is a group that will fail.

The women in my morning
class are committed.

I am starting to think
that you are not
tough enough.

Not tough enough?

(CHUCKLES)

Let me tell you something,
Mr. Iraqi army guy.

Israeli.
Whatever.

I used to be a model
and you don't know
what war is

until you've been in a
dressing room with
a bunch of size zeroes

reaching for the last rice cake.

I am plenty tough.
I'm not so sure.

Hey, I know some
of those women in
your exercise class.

The most exercise they
ever get is cutting
a piece of cake.

That's a lap!

Excuse me?
In the contract.

There are certain words
I do not tolerate.

"Cake. Tired.
Can't. Donut."

If I hear them,
you owe me a lap.

(SCOFFS)

It's an exercise class.
Why would anyone say "donut"?

That's another lap!

You know, maybe I should
give this a little gander.

(WOMEN PANTING)

YANIV: Come on, ladies!
When I was in the
special forces,

we would do sit-ups
in 115-degree weather.

I still have sand in my ass.

You people are weak!
Let's go! Let's go!

(GAGGING)

Gabby, knock it off.
You're gonna get us
all in trouble.

It's hard.

Of course it is.
That's why it's called
boot camp.

Just hang in there, Gabby.
We all went through it.

Shut up, Mona.
I'm puking air.

He's coming. Get crunching.

Hey, did I hear talking?

Sorry, sir!
She got a little nauseous.

(PANTING)

I don't give a rat's ass
what your problem is.
You retch on your own time.

Okay. We need to talk.
Gabby, no.

What the hell are you doing?
Get your butt back down!

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Time-out.
Time-out?

Look, I appreciate this
whole military commando act.

But I'm new at this,
and frankly,
this is a bit much.

A bit much?
Yeah.

Are we going to
get a break soon?

(YANIV EXCLAIMS MOCKINGLY)

We want a break.
Like maybe some coffee,
some pastry?

That sounds so yummy.
You got any?

No, I don't got any!
Now, get down or I'm
going to put you down!

I said time-out!

There is no time-out!
You signed a contract!
Now get down!

Don't take that tone
with me. I am paying.

Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
Do it! Do it! Do it!

Who brought her here?

That would be me! Sorry, sir!

Because of Edie,
our two-mile run is
now four miles!

(ALL GROAN)

(KATHERINE LAUGHS)

Oh, my God.
Look at those! Wow!
Hey, what's going on?

Susan, you got to
check these out.

Please don't make a fuss.

They're magnificent!
Susan, look at them.

What am I looking
at exactly?
The pearls.

Oh, those. They're stunning.
Thank you.

I have a big bar mitzvah
to prep. See you.

She's so lucky.
Mike is such a great guy.

What? Mike bought those?
He bought her pearls?

He's a keeper.

That's right.
You didn't keep him,
did you?

(DOOR OPENING)

Hi.
BREE: Lynette, hi.

I wish I had time for a chat,
but I'm on my way
to a meeting.

I might design my
own line of bakeware.
Can you imagine?

This will just take a sec.
Okay.

Tom and I are so grateful
for your investment

that we want to do
something special for you.

That sounds lovely.

We'd like to shut Scavo's down
for the night and throw
a party in your honor.

Just family and friends.

We'd toast your success
and have a night of fun,
just like old times.

What do you say?
That sounds nice.

Can we walk and talk?
Yeah, yeah.

You know what might
be even better?

My publisher has been
begging me to do a local
launch for my book.

I could do a signing
at your restaurant
and finally fill the place.

Would you hold that
for a moment?

We've filled the place
many times, but it's your
party. Whatever you want.

You can just put that
on a hanger in the back.

What I want is to make this
an opportunity for you.

We could turn one
of your dismal Thursday
night seatings

into a real event.

(SIGHS)

I don't know what to say.
Don't thank me.
It was your idea.

Right.

Glad I thought of it.

MARY ALICE: Susan Mayer
knew she couldn't
always give her son

everything she would've liked.

But when she saw her child's
tuition around
Katherine Mayfair's neck,

she felt something had
been stolen from him.

And it didn't take her long
to decide how she was
going to get it back.

(PHONE RINGING)

Susan, hi.
SUSAN: Hi. You at home?

Yeah. I'm just about to
jump in the shower.
What's up?

I'm going crazy, 'cause
I think I left my
front door unlocked.

Could you run and check?
I'll stay on the line.

No, no. I totally
understand.

The one day I don't lock up,

I always think that's the day
somebody's going to break in.

Exactly.

And so even though I was
already halfway
to the airport,

I turned around
and I came home, and, yep,

I had left the
garbage disposal on.

So ever since then,
I always check.

I'm the same way.
Anyway, you can relax.

The front door's all locked up.

You know what? I'm actually
still worried about
the side door.

Do you think you
could check that, too?

Already did. You're good.

(DOOR CLOSES)

I'm going to take
that shower now.
See you later, hon.

(SIGHS)

(WATER RUNNING)

(SUSAN GRUNTS)

(CREAKING)

KATHERINE: Mike, is that you?

(EXCLAIMS)

You're just in time.

(GASPS)

Susan?
Hi.

Hey!

Susan Mayer!

For God's sake,
give me back my pearls!

Pearls or towel, you decide.
You wouldn't dare.

I have been naked
on this street.

It would be nice to take
the heat off that story.

Have you lost your mind?

Mike said he can't
afford to pay for MJ's
private school.

Now I know why.

He wants to see his
girlfriend wearing pearls
when she flashes him.

What? He wouldn't
pay for MJ's school?

No. So I was going to
take these and sell them
to try to pay for it,

and, yes, now that I'm
saying it out loud, I hear
how stupid that sounds.

I can't believe Mike
would do that.
Well, he did.

(PARKER EXCLAIMS)

Hey, Mrs. Mayfair.
It's nice to see you.

Perhaps we should
discuss this later.

This can't be good.

So is this a "Welcome home,
we missed you"
kind of thing or...

Oh.

Damn right, "Oh."

What happened to "I'm broke,
and can't afford to send MJ
to private school?"

Don't get me wrong, Mike,
it was a wonderfully
generous present.

But you can't go around
blowing your kid's money

on jewelry for your girlfriend.

What did these cost you?
$4,000, $5,000?

$129.

What?
They're fake, okay?

And I knew how badly
you wanted pearls,
I couldn't afford real ones.

And the salesman swore
you'd never know the
difference, and she didn't.

Well...

At least you won't feel bad
if you ever lose them.

I just wanted to get you
a really nice gift
and I don't know, I...

I guess I was embarrassed
when I couldn't.

Mike, don't ever feel like
you have to spend money
to impress me.

Okay? Trust me.
I'm already very
impressed.

(SCOFFS)

Okay, okay. Point made.
Move along.

I'll go fix us some dinner.

How dare you?
I didn't know they were fake.

I mean, how dare you think
that I would put jewelry

for my girlfriend
ahead of my son's
education?

Okay, maybe I jumped to
conclusions, but this school
is important for MJ.

I feel really bad
that we're falling short.

Susan, I've been at work
since 6:00 this morning

and after I inhale a
five-minute dinner, I'm going
back out till midnight.

I am busting my ass
to give our son the best,

so if we're falling short,
it's not because of me.

(PHONE RINGING)

What?

YANIV: Where are you?
You're late for training.

Oh, yeah, I quit that.

There is no quitting.
It's in the contract.

Yeah, well, maybe you
should take it up with my
lawyer. Here he is.

(SNORING)

(YANIV BLOWS WHISTLE)

We're not leaving!

(WHISTLING CONTINUES)

Come on, ladies! Keep going!
Keep it moving!

(WOMAN PANTING)

What the hell
do you think you're doing?

When you don't come to
boot camp, boot camp
comes to you. Fall in!

Are you out of your mind?
I have two sleeping children.

I know. I've seen the
cellulite. Fall in!

Do it, Gabby.
There is no quitting.

Don't get all holier
than thou, Mona.

I saw you pull into the
Donut Shack yesterday.

Donut! That's a lap.

Oh, really?
Try this on for size.

I'm going back to bed,
because I'm tired.

And when I wake up, maybe
I'll have some cake
and you can't stop me.

EDIE: Gabby!
Where are you going?

If you don't get out there,
he is gonna take it out
on the rest of us.

Frankly, some of them need it.

I just came for
a little remodel,

and there are some
real tear-downs out there.

Wow. You are one spoiled,
selfish little brat.

For God's sakes, Edie,
it's a stupid exercise class.

I tried it. It sucked.
I don't want to do it
anymore. Lighten up.

That stupid little exercise
class is filled with women

who bust their asses
three times a week,

while raising kids
and holding down
full-time jobs.

They're crazy.
He yells and they jump.

He tells them to run all the
way over here and they do it.

He didn't make us
come here. We agreed to.

What the hell for?

Because you told us that
it was important to you
to get into that dress.

So we came here to support you.

You wanted the old Gabby back?
Well, congratulations.
You got her.

A self-centered, obnoxious jerk.

Personally, I liked poor,
paunchy Gabby better.

At least she had some humility.

Okay, time to stretch.
Not you!

You are 25 minutes late.
Give me 50.

(CLASSICAL PLAYING ON JUKEBOX)

(SIGHS)

Oh, my God. You're her!

Well, technically,
I'm she, but yes.

Your turkey tetrazzini
saved my marriage.

(BERNICE CHUCKLES)

Would you sign this for me?
Certainly.

I am so excited to be
tasting your food tonight.

My food?
What are you talking about?

Well, it says here
the chefs of Scavo's

are going to be making
recipes from your book.

They are?

I can't wait to try
that four-cheese pizza.

You might have to.
Excuse me.

Lynette.

I understand you
and your fellow chefs

will be serving
my four-cheese pizza tonight.

Yeah. Just adding
the Parmesan.

But that's commercial
Parmesan.
So?

So that's like the dust
they sweep off the floor

of a place that makes
real cheese.

Oh, no. It's fine.
We use it all the time.

Perhaps you do,
but my recipe specifies
fresh-grated.

Bree, no one will notice.

Parmesan is the fourth cheese
in a four-cheese pizza.

It's the Ringo of these cheeses.

Hey, Mr. Scavo said
the grease trap is
overflowing again.

For Pete's sake.
I'll be right back.

Take your time.

I'm sorry. We haven't been
introduced. I'm Bree Hodge,
part owner.

Hi, I'm Cindy.
We'll chat later.

Roll out some dough
and show me where
the basil is.

We'll be serving
three-cheese pizza tonight.

But what about the pizzas
that we just made?

(EXHALES)

DAVE: Tom, I can't tell you
how happy I am for you.

This place is packed.
It's packed!

Yeah. You know what?
Bree really came
through for us.

Wait, wait, wait. Even if
she hadn't, you would've
landed on your feet.

I had total faith in you.

And you have had
three Scotch and sodas.

Dude, this money goes
right in your pocket.

I'm just supporting you.

TOM: Hey, I got to go check
on that grease trap.

I've got to get back to Edie.
She wanted me home by 10:00.

But, dude, congratulations.
I'm proud of you.

See you.
You bet.

Hey, Tom?
Yeah?

Nothing. Never mind.
You're busy.
You know, wait. I...

I just want you to know that,
that guy's not your friend.

Who? Dave?

Is there someplace
we can talk?
Yeah.

Son of a...

If this doesn't stop your
mother-in-law from
criticizing your cooking,

I will give you a full refund.

Hey, can I borrow you a sec?
Now? People are waiting.

You'll still be a celebrity
in five minutes. Come on.

Excuse me.

You want to explain this?

Oh, dear. I was hoping
to spare your feelings,
but since you know,

I wasn't comfortable having
my recipe made with
substandard ingredients.

We use that Parmesan
all the time.

You can't go changing things
without asking me.

Hey, you made me partner.

I can change 15%
and I chose the Parmesan.

And I don't know if you've
heard, but people are
raving about my pizza.

They probably would have
loved my pizza, too,

but we'll never know,
because my partner

threw it in the garbage.
What a waste.

Fine. I'll reimburse you,
if that'll make things right.

Oh, sure. It's only
money, right?

What's that supposed to mean?

We all know
how well you're doing, Bree.

You have made that very clear.

But you shouldn't be
lording it over everybody

just 'cause you've
caught a couple of breaks.

Caught a couple of breaks?

I've worked my ass off
to get where I am.

I've worked my ass off, too.
I just wasn't as lucky as you.

I've always believed
that we create
our own luck.

Meaning that I've created
my own failure?

Not completely,
but let's face it.
You do cut corners.

I mean, one of the things
I can teach you

is the importance
of the attention to detail.

Wow. Talk about luck!

When I offered to throw you
this little thank-you party,

I never imagined that it
would turn into an opportunity
for me to learn

from the great Bree Hodge.

I'm not the one who
needed $20,000 to keep
my business afloat.

No, you're the one who's
never gonna let me forget it.

Where are you going?
Home.

Tell me how the party
I threw for you turns out.

Lynette, I don't understand
why you're so upset.

I know you don't,
but five years ago
you would've.

(CRASHING)

My car!

You know that was
an accident, right?

I did the best I could
on the clasp, Mrs. Solis.

I don't think
you'll be able to
tell the difference.

Okay, be honest.
Here I come.

(GASPS)

So what do you think?

You are stunning. Radiant.

Really?

Really. You're back,
Mrs. Solis, exactly like
you were before.

I think I've changed
a little bit.
Not that I can see.

If there's nothing else,
I'll be going.

Jean, wait.
What is it?
Is there a problem?

No, no. It's perfect.

(CHUCKLES)

I just want to tell you
how helpful you've been
to me over the years,

and I'm really grateful.
Thank you.

Hey, buddy.
How was the rest of the...

(DAVE GRUNTS)

I know what you did.
What?

Don't give me that!

I know that you told the cops
that Porter set that fire.

I didn't say he set the fire.
I only said I saw him
in the back hallway.

You couldn't have!
He wasn't there!

Tom, the cops were
really grilling me.
They wouldn't let up.

I had to tell them
what I thought I saw.

Porter could have gone to jail.

You almost destroyed
my family, destroyed
our business...

I'll make it up to you.
I swear. I never meant
to hurt you or Lynette.

Lynette doesn't know
about this. I didn't tell her.

If I had, you'd be dead.

I am so sorry.

I never should have said
anything to the cops.

It was dark.
I'd been drinking.
You've got to believe me.

(TOM GRUNTING)

Stop. Just stop.

Are you done?
Yeah.

(SIGHS)

This is crazy.

I mean, there's got
to be some way we
can work this out.

We're friends.

That's what I thought, too.

But I don't know who you are.

Tom.

Tom.

Can I ask you something?
Go ahead. Shoot.

I've been thinking a lot
about your first wife.

Edie.
I know.

Just one question,
and then I'll shut it.

I don't like talking about her.

It has been weeks since
I found out she even existed

and I've never
mentioned her once.

Come on. Look at
this as my reward.

Okay. One question.

(SIGHS DEEPLY)

Being married to her
or being married to me,

what's the biggest difference?

Honestly? Our marriage
is more real.

Really? In what way?
Hmm.

Well, with her,
it was like a fairy tale.

I thought it would
last forever. It didn't.

What you and I have is
more real, because I
know it's not forever.

When I hold you,
when I kiss you,

I try to remind myself
to appreciate the moment,

because tomorrow may never come.

Love is just temporary.

The way the fairy tale
ends is death.

My first instinct was to
ask you if she was
prettier than me.

When will I learn to
go with my gut?

(SIGHS)

I'm sorry. You can't
afford the tuition?
No.

But I read in your brochure
that faculty members
get a 50% discount.

So for your art department,

how would you like to hire

an award-winning
children's book
illustrator,

who is great with kids
and has a face you
can't say no to?

Unfortunately,
our art department
is fully staffed.

Can't say no.

Mrs. Mayer, I appreciate
your enthusiasm and the face,

but I'm afraid it just
won't work out. I wish
you the best of luck.

Yes.

Right.

No, wrong.

Mrs. Mayer, please.
I'm so busy.

Look, I know I said that
MJ was a star student,
but the truth is,

he's one of those kids
that needs extra attention.

The classes at his school
are way too big,

and I see him getting
lost in the shuffle,
and if he gets lost now...

(SIGHS)

My ex-husband is doing
everything that he can

and I need to know
that I am, too.

I will serve lunches.
I will be a janitor,
anything.

But I am not walking
out on my son's future.

One of our art teachers
does need an assistant,

but you're completely
overqualified.

I'll take it.

Congratulations on your new job.

Congratulations on
getting me out
of your office.

What's that?
A check for the
damage to your car.

I can't afford to go
through my insurance company.

Lynette, don't be silly.
It's just the bumper.

You don't need to do that.

Yes, I do.

And the minute we're back
on our feet, I am going to
pay back your investment.

Every penny, with interest.

Lynette, stop. Wait. Please.
Don't be this way.

I don't want money
to get in the way
of our friendship.

Yeah. I think it's
a little late for that.

MARY ALICE: There's a lot
you can do with money
in the suburbs.

You can pay for
a night on the town.

You can provide
a private school education.

You can purchase
a token of affection.

But the one thing you
must never do with money
is use it as a weapon,

because someone
always gets hurt.