All language subtitles for flowers.s02e02.episode.2.720p.nf.web-dl.x265-heteam

So, Bertha Baumgaertner.

One of her eyes was yellow and then
the other one was kind of blue,

and she thought that
the yellow eye was blessed

and saw only wonder and beauty

but the darker eye was dammed
and saw only misery and despair.

That's why she wears the eye patch,
because it's the eye of darkness.

Yes, exactly.

But then the eye of wonder

starts to lose its power
and Bertha has the baby.

But because the Baumgaertner family
are cursed, she murders everyone

and shoots herself in the
head. This is fantastic.

Tommy, are you listening?

Yeah, I mean, the only thing
I would say is Baumgaertner,

it just sounds like "bum gardener".

Yeah, it does, but it's fine.

Thanks, guys. What happened to Ryan?

Oh, he's gone off to be a
professional snooker player now,

hasn't he, so this guy has been
keeping me company.

Who's this? This is Brian.

Hi, Brian.

Hey, Reggie!

Sorry if it's loud,

just been trying to tear them up
liberally, so free-styling a bit.

Don't know what that means.
Hey, watch this.

Great. Amazing. Nice one, mate.
You're strong.

These Baumgaertners are giving me
the heebie-jeebies.

I think there might be some
voodoo shit going on.

Have you asked your dad about it?
Oh, no, not yet.

So has he gone funky again, then?

He's doing all right.
He had a three-hour bath yesterday,

which was a bit weird.
What was he doing in there?

You know, just, like, humming.

Will you keep it down, you absolute
fuckers, and tidy up this mess?

I feel like I'm living next to a slum.

Good morning to you too.

Fuck off, Dolores, and stop
thieving Nana's juicy strawbs.

I wanted to make a nifty little posset

but you've been gobbling them all up.

- I'm sorry.
- Right, come on.

I'm sorry. I was meditating,
must have fallen asleep.

Remember you've got that dinner
tonight with the Carols

about new ideas. You told
me to remind you. Oh, shit.

Oh.

Asked you to be doing
sort of juices and stuff.

Yeah, I'll do that in a minute.
Have you got any fags on you?

No Deborah, so...
Can I ask you a question?

I know you hate talking about
your dad but it's really bugging me,

and obviously Mum has just written
a book about how she saved your life

and then dumped you on holiday,

so I'm just wondering basically
how you are.

Well, there's still a sort of
screaming in my head,

but it's in this sort of
big padded box.

For the medicine and stuff,
still a screaming,

but it's a quieter screaming.

Can I ask you anyway,
do you know what this is?

It was with your dad's things.

Baumgaertner.

A cursed household
in 18th-century Germany.

I've absolutely no idea. I thought
maybe that Wendy person might know.

Are you sure you can't remember
anyone called Wendy? No.

Actually, Dad, you know how you
use tapes and stuff to write?

You said it was because your dad used
to record himself, like diaries and things.

Maybe she was one of his
mistresses or something.

He had a lot of mistresses, so...

His nana was a prostitute, right?

I wouldn't call it that.
She was his assistant.

Yeah, but she was a trollop
before that.

Maybe he was in a cult or something.

She said he was a great magician.

No, I think he was bad.

In fact, he was pretty awful, actually.

Particularly with the birds and
the rabbits, they just kept dying.

I'm going to make you
such a good juice.

Oh, Dad, can I just ask...?

Amy, I don't want to talk about it
any more. I've got a headache.

Why does it make you such...?
Because why would he run off?

He was a cunt in a cape,
that's all there is to it.

I don't know why you want to listen
to the ramblings of a madman anyway.

Oh, you're opening the curtains.
That's nice.

Maurice just used to leave them
shut all day.

Oh, yeah. Old misery toots.

Misery toots, that's a
funny way of putting it.

This is a lovely gaf, you know.

So, you been doing this a lot, then?

Er, not really.

I ended up on a date with a chap
from the self-help conference.

He had Tourette's,
which was quite interesting.

Kept shouting "fuck wagon"
and "shit yourself" at me.

Quite a turn on, actually, but he
wasn't up for it in the end, so...

Yeah, I thought my wife had
Tourette's because she used to

shout stuff like that at me as well.

Turns out...

..she just genuinely hated me.

Morning, madam.

Completely drunk again.

Absolute disaster.

Where's your lady friend, Shun?

Ah, my gosh.

Hi, hello.

I'm so lucky she is a big fan of
my peanuts.

She loved to put all kind of thing
inside my bottom.

Like what? Anything.

Pepper grinder, sausage,
vacuum cleaner,

shoes, Irish cream, rhubarb,

and then... I just say, "Yes,
yes, go ahead, go ahead,"

"what's the next one?"

"Huge cupboard? Fine, no
problem, go ahead, please."

She put a cupboard up your arse?

No, just this kind of thing.

Audrey tried to run me over
with a lawn mower once.

Before she died.

Emptied a whole bottle of
ouzo into the bath,

got squiffy on the fumes and...

Argh!

Ah!

It's so sad about Deborah, isn't it?

I think this new title is
going to help me a lot,

just cut through all
the other sad people books.

Yes, I'm quite worried about...

Ah! Living With The Devil.

Yes. No.

I love it, yes. That's good, yes.

That story, though, about
him trying to cook a roast

and then bursting into tears
when he burns the parsnips.

Hilarious.

And very sad as well.

Obviously.

But is this just like, er,

your revenge, then,
for all those years of misery?

Er, no, it's to help people.

And he wasn't crying
about the parsnips,

as you'll know from reading the book.

Is that your "please love me" spread?

Yes, Donald likes the cheesy
pencils and Amy loves pineapple.

When she was little it used to
make her face go like this.

Isn't she the one who hates you?

Oh, well, she's just pretending.

I just called her several times
a day until it was less stressful

for her to say yes, so now they're
both coming round to see me.

Mmm. Toast.

Um, so when you're done with the toast,

I should probably start
to set the room up,

unless you want to talk more about

how you're going to publicise my book.

It keeps doing this, weird thing!

I think you might have just put
a bit too much in there.

She's making me a vegetable hurricane.

Sounds dangerous. How are you doing?

Yeah, good, getting there,
doing some breathing and stuff.

We're all breathing, mate.

Hey. Yeah, good one.
Um, Amy, we need the new scores.

Sorry, yeah, just doing
my dad's smoothie.

Er, excuse me, that's
Mum's special towel.

Dad, did you see that?

This do-da of your
mother's this evening,

do you think it'd flummox it
if I didn't come along?

Oh, my God, can we
not do this every time?

It's just, I don't really do family.

Hello. Tried a few times
but didn't get through.

So it's your mother here,
just calling to check what time

you'll both be coming later.
And yes, and um, Maurice,

if you're listening to this,
then when you see the title,

it wasn't my idea.

Hello there, dear friend.

What? Wanted to ask you a bit of
a delicate question about Deborah.

I haven't spoken to her for a while.
Is she still off-limits?

Right, the thing is,
Barry, it's not really...

It's up to her, obviously.

Oh, but you're a very,
very dear friend, Maurice.

I wouldn't want to do anything
that might hurt you.

I'm not sure you could make
it any worse, to be honest.

But if I was to try and imagine
what she might say,

I have a hunch that she might say no.

Thank you, Maurice.

Thank you for allowing me this.

It's funny how things
turn out, isn't it?

So, I mean, I don't have much, but um,

I've had a few ideas that
they might be interested in.

OK, exciting, tell me.

Well, I was thinking more just...

Well, I was thinking about...

Yeah. Yeah, good idea.

I haven't said anything yet.

You have cheeky face, I know
you are thinking amazing idea.

Yeah, I don't have anything, I'm sorry.

Yes, you are.

I, I don't. I'm sorry, Shun,
I completely forgot.

I've been a bit preoccupied
with the Deborah stuff, so...

OK, come on.

No panic, look around.

Where is good idea?

Tree?

Not tree.

Rock. Yes.

Rock have adventure.

Rock have secret power.

Can fly.

Smash into eagle pigeon,

fall into ocean.

Where am I? Completely lost.

Swim around, swim around,
strange encounter, who is here?

Dorothy.

Carrying rock home, yeah?

Um, I'm not sure about that.

Why? Even rock?

Maybe we should call it off, I'm not
in a very productive state of mind.

Knock knock.

Who's there? Fantastic idea.

Why you not answer door, Mr Flowers?

I'm waiting for ages.

Shun, I'll go, OK,
because I'm supposed to be

finding little ways of staying
active, but I'm not excited by it.

I'm sorry, I'm thinking of
packing it all in, any way.

How about Grubbs? One more try.

Grubbs is dead.

Grubbs is dead.

Hm.

Never mind. Goodbye.

Be gone, yes.

Hello!

I think it's number three.
I know.

Ha! The great pipe man.

# Da-na-na-na-an!

Oh, you both came.

Hello, Amy.

Oh, and a priest.

Hello. This is Hilda.

Evening... Deborah.

The great gloom is an
essence that looms,

it creeps over the earth in
a shimmer of doom.

Fantastic.

Well, I mean, I wrote that line.

No. She wrote it. It's from The Great
Gloom, the book that I wrote that

you published. It's
the way she uses it.

I never understood what it meant
when you wrote it.

The point is that we are very excited
and we are very disappointed in your

decision to terminate the
relationship at such a crucial point.

I didn't. To be honest I'm very
difficult to... I'm difficult.

I'm surprised she stuck
around as long as she did.

OK. It just means, obviously, we're
going to have to talk to Clive about...

I'm sorry, did you do a pre-meal
booze up or something?

No, no. Just, er, do you know Wine AM?

Wine, Wine AM.

Shunn has got very excited this
morning about new ideas.

LOVE Wine AM. So, uh...

what were you saying about these?

Yeah, well,

he's a hippo.

Erm. And what does he do?

He, well, he's a hippo, so...

I just love how they are so content
all the time, the way they look,

chatting to his bird friends,
being a hippo and...

Wow.

Absolutely amazing.

I just think maybe he could
always be overeating, maybe,

maybe he's always a little bit full.

Overeating!

I like it.

Do you?

Bah.

Just banter, don't worry.

She used to break into the church to
play the organ in the middle of the night.

And did you think it was
Jesus, your eminence?

No.

I did wonder if there
was a ghost, though.

Turns out it was just this beautiful
girl who likes weird instruments.

Oh, steady on.

She means musical instruments, Mum.

Sorry, yes.

I mean, I would imagine it wasn't.

I mean Morris and I never, but, um...
But then he, um... Sorry, why don't I...

Shall I chop up some pineapple?

I'm all right for pineapple, thanks.

Congratulations on the book, by the
way. It's quite an achievement.

Thank you, Hilda. I
mean, it's no Bible.

It's the best book I've ever
seen in my whole life.

Gosh, it's actually coming out.
I can't quite believe it.

Um, we have another reading in a few
days, if you're interested.

I'll be there.

Oh, good. Hilda, would you...?

Oh, no, I don't drink, thank you.

Oh, apart from sacramental.

Ooh, that sounds posh. Mum.

She's old. You can
say that she's old.

Is she?

Yes. It honestly hadn't
even crossed my...

The same, I thought you were
the same... Christ.

I think it's beautiful.

How did you get... How did
you get into the church?

Oh, well, a long story short, I was
a junkie for quite a while.

And it was just quite a good way of
putting my life in the hands of

someone. Well, not a junkie.

Who was that, then?

She means God. Of course, sorry, ha.

Duh. Gosh, how interesting.

My daughter's going out with a
heroin addict, amazing. Argh. Oh!

Are you all right back there?

Barry, er, why are you here?

Sorry. It's just I had hoped to spend
a bit of time with my children.

Shall we head, Bazzatron? I've
got a service in a while, anyway.

Drink, drink this.
Ah, cheer up, Mr...

Drink this. It's not funny.

Drink this. Listen.

What is this? Water. It might help
to get rid of your hiccups.

I don't need this.
Because no hiccups, it's a sneeze.

It's not a sneeze, it's a hiccup.

It's... It's sneeze.

I thought you wanted me to come up with some
new ideas, that's what we're here for, OK?

Yes. But you are not going to be
here, you explained already.

But they seemed to
like the hippo, so...

Seemed to like the toilet
cake I have for pudding.

What? Yeah. Are you listening to me?

Ha-ha.
What's funny?

Funny is Mr Hippo is funny.

Hey, they're interested in the hippo.

You go mad? No.

Do you mind?
The hippos are going well.

Listen. Let me tell you,
this is your painting.

A present. Put it back.

No, I think...

Hi. Welcome.

This is the toilet.

I show him. Knock-knock, shush.

I'm not doing that. Knock, knock,
knock. I'm not doing it, no.

Come on. I'm not, I'm not.
Ding-dong.

There's nobody, there's nobody in.
I see you from the window.

I'm... See you in the window.

Yeah, well, I'm not
answering. Even if I am in,

I'm not answering. Ding-dong!

Pfft! Hiroshima.

Oh, my God. Can we just...

We can do this, OK.

Can you just calm down?

OK. We've got to go in there and do
it. I'm calm. I behave, yes.

Let's do it. Hippo time.

Watch this.

I do this.

Which way is my table?

Hic!

Nice to meet you.

Shun, Shun. Ah.

This peasant and her idiot squidiot
friends

are turning your house into a favela.

You have to do something about it.

I'm sure it's not that bad, and
it's not my house any more, so.

But are you coming back or not?

Because I prefer you to Dad, obviously,

but I don't like the sound of
this dating malarkey,

and I've got to be honest, Mum,
you're starting to piss me off.

No. I'm not coming back, Donald.

Right. OK.

Bitch-hag is going to call
me sexist now,

but women are 100% more crazy than men.

100%.

They are all fucking crazy, 100%.

And I'm sorry, I never thought I'd
say it but, Mum, that includes you.

Go on. Call me a misnogynist.

Did you just say misnogynist?

Yeah. So what? Look it up.

There's no N in it. That's not a word.

Whatever. Where are you going?

For a poo, obviously.

So, Hilda's nice, isn't she?

Mm.

Is that why you kicked her out?

No, because...

I didn't do that.

I, I knew this would happen, I knew
you would both turn against me.

Mum, don't say it like that.

Like what? Like you've done nothing
wrong.

You know that it
doesn't go away, right?

It's not like he's cured.
I do know that.

I wrote a book about it
which you still haven't read.

You've stolen Dad's dirty
laundry, and primp pressed it

into a 300-page appeal for the
sympathy of complete strangers.

For God's sake, what's the point?

If it helps, Amy, I didn't write
the book for other people,

I wrote it for me. The amount of
shit I wiped out of your fanny,

the least you could do is support me.

And I, I thought you liked pineapple.

I do like pineapple.
Oh, bloody eat some, then!

Oh, the show's going fine, by
the way. Thanks for asking!

What have you done now?

Mum! Don't listen to her,
she's a poisonous harpy.

I can't tell you how excited we are
to get ideas like this from you.

Yeah, Lord, we hated Grubs.

Well, that's a relief for me as
well, to be out of that, you know.

Can I ask a question. Do you think
this hippo is too cheerful, hm?

Well, yes, that's what we were
saying earlier, that it needs to...

I know, I know. But this...

Shun. It's fine.
Would it help if the hippos were dirty?

If the colours were more like...

What's the issue? I'm not an expert,
but this is what I explained.

Not just dirty.

Grubs is darkness, yeah?

You understand?

Ah.

We understand, Shun.

You know, English people
are so racist to me,

calling me Chink all the time.

That's horrible... horrible.
Chinky boy, chinky boy.

Hello, chinky boy.

But Japanese, Chinese people
completely different.

Yeah, of course. Because
Chinese people are so smelly.

You can't say that. Yes, it's true.

Burping, farting always.
Of course, it doesn't matter.

Your culture is different.

If you are smelly for
your culture, fine.

I agree. I agree.

This is my culture.

Whoaaa! Tung-ah!

Jesus Christ, man.

He's the sort of allowed, isn't he?
He's not Chinese, is he?

Turning into Chinese if I
have too much noodle.

I see proof in temper in Japan.

Chinese people go into toilet, when
they come out, poo everywhere.

Wow. Even on roof! On the roof?

He means the ceiling. What
are they doing in there?

Throw around with the
paintbrush, poo painting!

Chinese poo, get my poo from the...

Shun... Paint on the ceiling.
Shun, that's enough!

Most times... Stop it.

Terrible people. Why are these just
awful, bash, bash, bash, never stop.

Have to understand why are these...

Aargh. Otherwise,
this picture is stupid.

How can I draw this stupid picture!

Shun.

It's OK, we're going to go.
I'm fine. Excuse me!

I'm at a meeting!

It's fine, it's fine.

I know you are terrorist woman!

Your secret!

You are a liar, Mr Flowers!

You are scared of dark!

I know you are scared of...

Maurice.

You are in the garden, playing
with your creeping crawlies,

and I am watching you.

I cannot bring myself to come outside.

I have seen the devil, Maurice.

And the devil was an angel.

Because, to remember heaven
in the heat of darkness,

that is the true meaning of hell.

We are a cursed household.

And if the devil comes to you when
you are old, and he will come to you,

you must look him straight in the
eye, and you must say this.

"Not me." Do you understand, my son?

Not me. Because I am
not the house's renter.

And you, you are too weak, Maurice.

You cannot defeat the devil.

We must wait. We must wait
for the chosen one.

It's all right, I'll get it.

Er, anyway, I'll call you
about the reading.

OK, yes. Thanks, Clyde.

Bye. Bye.

Jesus Christ. Hehehehe!

What is it? Who knows? Some Chinese
guy was sick on his shirt.

Yeah. Be good.

Heh-heh.

I'm coming.

No problem.

Ah.