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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:00,583 --> 00:02:01,750 快點換衣服 2 00:02:01,833 --> 00:02:03,083 就快開席了 3 00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:05,041 人家說了6時恭候嘛 4 00:02:10,791 --> 00:02:12,458 換衣服 5 00:02:17,375 --> 00:02:19,916 -媽媽,我可以不去赴宴嗎? -不可以 6 00:02:20,041 --> 00:02:21,291 每次我都有去啊 7 00:02:21,375 --> 00:02:23,250 所以這次也不能有例外 8 00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:25,333 招弟,換衣服 9 00:02:30,291 --> 00:02:33,500 如果妳不第一時間去換衣服的話 今晚妳別赴宴了 10 00:02:33,583 --> 00:02:35,291 謝謝爸爸 11 00:02:35,375 --> 00:02:37,541 然後從明天開始,不許去上學了 12 00:02:37,708 --> 00:02:39,708 謝謝爸爸 13 00:02:39,875 --> 00:02:41,750 以後不用再認我是妳的爸爸了 14 00:02:41,833 --> 00:02:44,000 謝謝爸爸 15 00:02:44,083 --> 00:02:45,500 因為我不再是妳的爸爸了 16 00:02:45,583 --> 00:02:47,458 所以就沒錢給妳做模型了 17 00:02:47,916 --> 00:02:49,541 我現在回去房間換衣服了,爸爸 18 00:02:50,541 --> 00:02:52,375 -老婆,我的西裝熨好了嗎? -漂亮嗎? 19 00:02:52,458 --> 00:02:54,291 掛在房間了,那麼緊張幹嘛? 20 00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:56,125 當然緊張啊 21 00:02:56,750 --> 00:02:59,750 所謂“人要衣裝,佛要金裝” 22 00:03:01,625 --> 00:03:02,583 香港地 23 00:03:02,666 --> 00:03:05,208 -是先敬羅衣後敬人 -是先敬羅衣後敬人 24 00:03:05,375 --> 00:03:08,875 人的價值是從衣服上看出來的 25 00:03:09,291 --> 00:03:10,708 不用說別的 26 00:03:10,875 --> 00:03:13,416 光是香港的國貨公司 27 00:03:13,583 --> 00:03:16,083 永遠都輸給日本百貨公司 28 00:03:16,291 --> 00:03:18,250 就是輸在一張包裝紙而已 29 00:03:19,041 --> 00:03:20,791 香港地就是那麼殘酷的 30 00:03:24,166 --> 00:03:25,958 -把梳子還給我! -不給,梳子是我的! 31 00:03:26,041 --> 00:03:27,125 還給我! 32 00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:28,791 為,現在是打仗了嗎? 33 00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:31,250 這種房子是房屋署叫人建的 34 00:03:31,333 --> 00:03:32,750 很脆弱的 35 00:03:32,833 --> 00:03:34,500 她拿了我的梳子 36 00:03:34,583 --> 00:03:35,958 招弟,出來! 37 00:03:36,541 --> 00:03:38,333 這把梳子是她送給我的 38 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:40,000 喂 39 00:03:40,250 --> 00:03:42,250 她從來都沒用過 所以我就把它拿回來 40 00:03:42,333 --> 00:03:43,750 那妳就不對了 41 00:03:43,833 --> 00:03:46,666 既然妳把梳子送了給她 用不用就是她的自由 42 00:03:46,750 --> 00:03:48,666 如果妳要用梳子的話,就得向她借 43 00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:49,958 媽媽! 44 00:03:50,041 --> 00:03:51,708 向她借 45 00:03:51,791 --> 00:03:53,500 小妹,借把梳子來用 46 00:03:53,583 --> 00:03:54,500 不行 47 00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:02,333 妹妹,請妳把梳子借給我 48 00:04:03,083 --> 00:04:04,083 妳拿去吧 49 00:04:05,041 --> 00:04:07,125 經過這件事,妳學到了什麼? 50 00:04:07,208 --> 00:04:09,500 我學到以後都不送東西給別人了 51 00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:12,916 穿那麼漂亮幹什麼? 52 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:14,625 那些姨媽姑姐不會欣賞這些的 53 00:04:14,708 --> 00:04:16,000 我沒打算赴宴 54 00:04:16,625 --> 00:04:18,541 待會我的男朋友來接我 55 00:04:18,833 --> 00:04:20,125 可不可以接我一起去呢? 56 00:04:20,375 --> 00:04:21,541 拜託了 57 00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:36,916 老婆,這條領帶那麼皺 能不能替我熨一熨? 58 00:04:45,416 --> 00:04:47,791 可以了,你的恤衫皺不皺呢? 59 00:04:48,416 --> 00:04:49,958 不皺,沒有皺 60 00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:51,875 驃叔、驃嬸 61 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,833 穿得那麼漂亮,去逛街嗎? 62 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:55,125 -是啊 -廢話 63 00:04:55,208 --> 00:04:56,291 是的,去赴宴 64 00:04:57,333 --> 00:04:58,625 如果是我設宴的話 65 00:04:58,708 --> 00:05:00,791 我一定請你們全家 66 00:05:01,041 --> 00:05:02,833 在這屋村裡,上上下下 67 00:05:02,916 --> 00:05:05,958 驃叔這家人是最體面的 68 00:05:06,083 --> 00:05:08,750 妳們看他們的三位千金 打扮得多漂亮 69 00:05:08,833 --> 00:05:10,208 像公主一样 70 00:05:10,291 --> 00:05:12,291 照我說,生女兒更划算 71 00:05:12,375 --> 00:05:15,750 好像驃叔那樣生不出兒子 每次都生女兒 72 00:05:15,833 --> 00:05:18,291 他自己本身是在電視台報新聞的 73 00:05:18,375 --> 00:05:21,291 這次一定近水樓台先得月了 74 00:05:21,375 --> 00:05:22,500 南姑,為什麼呢? 75 00:05:22,583 --> 00:05:24,416 提名他的女兒去選美嘛 76 00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:27,125 大女兒去選香港小姐 77 00:05:27,208 --> 00:05:29,875 二女兒去選亞洲小姐 78 00:05:29,958 --> 00:05:30,791 老土 79 00:05:31,083 --> 00:05:33,708 驃嬸可以去選健美小姐 80 00:05:33,791 --> 00:05:35,916 是啊…她的身材那麼棒 81 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,083 說什麼那麼好笑? 82 00:05:37,166 --> 00:05:39,083 在說驃叔的女兒當小姐呢 83 00:05:39,166 --> 00:05:41,125 -舞小姐? -招弟呢 84 00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:43,333 還可以去選電視小姐 85 00:05:43,416 --> 00:05:45,125 招弟還那麼小 86 00:05:45,208 --> 00:05:48,250 等她長大了,可能就不流行這種事了 87 00:05:48,458 --> 00:05:50,833 怎麼會沒有呢?還有特區小姐 88 00:05:51,083 --> 00:05:52,541 說得來也差不多了 89 00:05:52,791 --> 00:05:54,083 驃叔,對不對? 90 00:05:55,750 --> 00:05:57,083 妳的嘴巴那麼癢 91 00:05:57,166 --> 00:05:58,500 去吃無比膏吧 92 00:06:00,166 --> 00:06:02,000 老公,弄好就出來吧 93 00:06:02,250 --> 00:06:04,416 喂,招弟,快點 94 00:06:04,875 --> 00:06:05,791 記住了 95 00:06:05,958 --> 00:06:07,875 去到酒樓別一直點汽水喝 96 00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:10,291 不然被人家以為我沒錢給妳買水喝呢 97 00:06:10,416 --> 00:06:11,666 喂,來弟啊 98 00:06:11,750 --> 00:06:14,583 走過來騎樓下吧 樓上會掉東西下來的 99 00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:16,166 不會這麼巧吧? 100 00:06:19,625 --> 00:06:21,666 快點,這裡比較安全 101 00:06:27,291 --> 00:06:28,416 笑口棗! 102 00:06:28,791 --> 00:06:30,833 米亞! 103 00:06:31,333 --> 00:06:32,500 這是我的媽媽 104 00:06:32,583 --> 00:06:34,375 媽媽米亞 105 00:06:34,458 --> 00:06:35,750 這是我的爸爸 106 00:06:37,416 --> 00:06:39,500 -爸爸 -等等,他是誰? 107 00:06:39,583 --> 00:06:41,583 我的朋友笑口棗 他是來接我去看演出的 108 00:06:41,666 --> 00:06:42,875 我不赴宴了,再見 109 00:06:42,958 --> 00:06:44,958 -我給了500元的紅包 -那我呢? 110 00:06:45,041 --> 00:06:47,041 你打包一些食物回來給我吃就好了嘛 111 00:06:48,250 --> 00:06:51,000 這就叫做“女大不中留” 都叫了妳別生女孩的 112 00:06:51,375 --> 00:06:53,708 這兩個不是我生的,不要算在我頭上 113 00:06:53,791 --> 00:06:55,791 -那這個呢? -爸爸 114 00:06:55,875 --> 00:06:57,166 你們去哪裡赴宴呢? 115 00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:58,625 -去銅鑼灣 -是的… 116 00:06:59,208 --> 00:07:00,958 太糟糕,不順路 117 00:07:01,041 --> 00:07:03,208 -再見 -再見 118 00:07:04,750 --> 00:07:05,750 計程車 119 00:07:05,833 --> 00:07:07,333 喂,妳以為我們發財了嗎? 120 00:07:07,416 --> 00:07:09,500 -搭地鐵吧 -搭地鐵? 121 00:07:10,208 --> 00:07:12,666 地鐵既快又舒服,而且還能享受冷氣 122 00:07:13,375 --> 00:07:15,416 -走吧 -走吧,去享受吧,來吧 123 00:07:15,625 --> 00:07:20,250 前往中環及港島線的乘客 請到二號月台上車 124 00:07:25,083 --> 00:07:27,375 -怎會那麼多人? -碰巧下班嘛 125 00:07:27,458 --> 00:07:30,750 無法上車的乘客,請乘搭下一班列車 126 00:07:32,958 --> 00:07:35,875 即將關閉車門 127 00:07:36,375 --> 00:07:37,666 別推我啊! 128 00:07:49,208 --> 00:07:50,458 別擠過來! 129 00:07:58,666 --> 00:08:00,625 來弟,這裡有空位 130 00:08:01,666 --> 00:08:04,250 喂,快點,不然就會被別人坐了 131 00:08:04,541 --> 00:08:06,833 -妳坐吧 -哦,那我坐了 132 00:08:14,750 --> 00:08:15,750 真是老土 133 00:08:16,041 --> 00:08:17,333 喂,有美女,你看 134 00:08:23,416 --> 00:08:28,041 下一站是尖沙咀 135 00:08:36,791 --> 00:08:38,083 非禮啊! 136 00:08:40,583 --> 00:08:42,583 -壞人,竟敢非禮人,我打死你! -打死你們! 137 00:08:42,666 --> 00:08:44,125 -真是壞! -打死你們這班混蛋! 138 00:08:44,208 --> 00:08:46,083 都不知道是讀哪間學校的 139 00:08:46,166 --> 00:08:48,791 -“狗公”嘛 -真是壞孩子 140 00:08:49,541 --> 00:08:51,250 兩位主婚人請坐中間 141 00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:53,583 來,笑一個 142 00:09:03,333 --> 00:09:05,166 來弟,坐下 143 00:09:06,750 --> 00:09:07,958 由得她吧 144 00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:11,625 -九姑婆、大姨媽 -逐個叫親戚朋友來拍照吧 145 00:09:11,708 --> 00:09:13,000 一起來拍張照吧,來… 146 00:09:13,083 --> 00:09:14,208 -去拍照吧 -出去拍照了 147 00:09:35,166 --> 00:09:37,583 拍好了,請各位就坐… 148 00:09:37,750 --> 00:09:39,625 張司機、花王炳,你們也來吧 149 00:09:39,708 --> 00:09:40,750 還有奶媽,來… 150 00:09:40,833 --> 00:09:42,125 -來拍張照吧 -我們也有份呢 151 00:09:42,208 --> 00:09:43,625 是的… 152 00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:45,750 走吧,不會輪到我們的 153 00:09:45,916 --> 00:09:47,541 -我們去選位子吧 -好啊 154 00:09:47,625 --> 00:09:48,625 來弟 155 00:09:50,250 --> 00:09:51,666 還有哪一家人還沒拍照呢? 156 00:09:51,958 --> 00:09:54,083 有啊…漏掉了… 157 00:09:54,166 --> 00:09:56,208 漏了樂奇和多莉 158 00:09:57,208 --> 00:09:59,125 那兩隻小狗真可愛 159 00:10:03,125 --> 00:10:04,041 各位請自便 160 00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:06,750 -來,大家乾杯… -乾杯… 161 00:10:06,875 --> 00:10:08,333 -來,乾杯 -謝謝 162 00:10:09,208 --> 00:10:10,250 這麼多就夠了 163 00:10:11,041 --> 00:10:13,041 保羅,你的法拉利308 164 00:10:13,125 --> 00:10:14,708 -這麼多就夠了… -還好嗎? 165 00:10:14,791 --> 00:10:17,666 -這麼多就夠了… -當然無所用,香港的路哪能飛車? 166 00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:19,541 -開遊艇出去才爽 -好了 167 00:10:19,625 --> 00:10:22,000 話說回來,我的新居快要入伙了 168 00:10:22,208 --> 00:10:24,583 遲點舉辦一個大型派對 邀請你們全部人 169 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,541 你那間別墅裝修了多少錢? 170 00:10:26,625 --> 00:10:27,625 多少錢? 171 00:10:28,041 --> 00:10:30,500 -才兩百多萬 -是的,才兩百多萬 172 00:10:30,583 --> 00:10:32,666 住起來是很棒,就是偏僻了一點 173 00:10:32,750 --> 00:10:35,041 說方便嘛,還是表哥你們那裡好 174 00:10:35,125 --> 00:10:36,791 你們還是住在市區的政府公屋嗎? 175 00:10:36,875 --> 00:10:37,708 是嗎? 176 00:10:37,791 --> 00:10:38,958 -是的 -是的 177 00:10:39,041 --> 00:10:40,791 改天我們出門,就去拜訪你們吧 178 00:10:40,875 --> 00:10:41,875 不用客氣了 179 00:10:42,750 --> 00:10:44,000 最近我們也在裝修中 180 00:10:44,333 --> 00:10:46,166 -是的… -來弟 181 00:10:46,291 --> 00:10:47,833 妳今年讀中學幾年級了? 182 00:10:48,958 --> 00:10:50,375 讀中學幾年級了? 183 00:10:50,833 --> 00:10:53,458 -在讀預科班 -就快考大學了 184 00:10:53,541 --> 00:10:55,458 為什麼不送她去外國讀書呢? 185 00:10:55,583 --> 00:10:56,875 -我的女兒呢 -我去洗手間 186 00:10:56,958 --> 00:10:59,291 還沒考考初中成績評核試 就把她送去洛杉磯了 187 00:10:59,375 --> 00:11:02,208 -我呢? -明年就要考進加大洛杉磯分校了 188 00:11:02,291 --> 00:11:04,708 快到1997年了,有沒有打算移民呢? 189 00:11:04,875 --> 00:11:06,500 我們不打算移民 190 00:11:09,291 --> 00:11:10,875 我們雖然是香港人 191 00:11:11,708 --> 00:11:13,625 體內流的是中國人的血液 192 00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:15,833 應該投向祖國的懷抱 193 00:11:16,583 --> 00:11:19,291 移民是不負責任的行為 194 00:11:19,833 --> 00:11:22,416 我們應該以不屈不撓的香港精神 195 00:11:22,750 --> 00:11:23,791 留在這裡 196 00:11:24,333 --> 00:11:26,750 做大時代轉變的見證人 197 00:11:26,916 --> 00:11:29,708 為實現祖國四個現代化盡一分力 198 00:11:29,875 --> 00:11:31,458 所以我在這裡呼籲大家 199 00:11:31,541 --> 00:11:32,708 留在香港 200 00:11:32,958 --> 00:11:34,916 不要當人家的三等公民 201 00:11:41,916 --> 00:11:43,291 還有一碗,誰要呢? 202 00:11:44,166 --> 00:11:45,833 給我表哥吧,他不常吃這些 203 00:11:51,833 --> 00:11:53,666 (衛星電視) 204 00:11:55,083 --> 00:11:56,875 -經理在嗎? -你不能進去! 205 00:11:56,958 --> 00:11:58,875 -不吃了,酸的 -來吧 206 00:12:04,875 --> 00:12:08,666 經理,我進來是告訴你 我替你買了六合彩 207 00:12:09,375 --> 00:12:10,208 好了 208 00:12:10,291 --> 00:12:12,041 -那我先出去了,經理 -好 209 00:12:19,666 --> 00:12:21,458 那些號碼我都對過了,不會錯了 210 00:12:22,750 --> 00:12:24,291 對了,還有你的車鑰匙 211 00:12:24,375 --> 00:12:25,250 坐下 212 00:12:27,041 --> 00:12:29,875 你剛才沒看到什麼吧? 213 00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:31,500 沒什麼能看的 214 00:12:31,583 --> 00:12:34,666 上次在試片室看過了 這次是小兒科了 215 00:12:34,833 --> 00:12:36,083 還有在停車場那次… 216 00:12:36,166 --> 00:12:39,791 驃叔,你在新聞部報了十幾年的新聞 217 00:12:39,875 --> 00:12:42,250 你應該知道什麼是應該說的 218 00:12:42,333 --> 00:12:44,625 什麼是不應該說的 219 00:12:44,708 --> 00:12:46,416 -要喝嗎? -謝了 220 00:12:46,791 --> 00:12:49,083 我一向來都依照公司給的稿子來說話 221 00:12:49,166 --> 00:12:50,333 我不會亂說的 222 00:12:50,416 --> 00:12:52,125 那就最好了 223 00:12:52,916 --> 00:12:55,666 下個禮拜有白金巨星之夜 你要不要看呢? 224 00:12:56,083 --> 00:12:57,333 我不是很喜歡看 225 00:12:58,208 --> 00:13:00,333 應該看的,你就要去看 226 00:13:00,416 --> 00:13:02,708 不應該看的,就當沒看過 227 00:13:02,791 --> 00:13:03,708 對嗎? 228 00:13:04,083 --> 00:13:05,625 是的,謝謝經理 229 00:13:09,958 --> 00:13:10,958 我是新聞部的驃叔 230 00:13:11,041 --> 00:13:13,333 驃叔,監製要見你 231 00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:14,791 女魔頭? 232 00:13:15,375 --> 00:13:17,041 -監製,找我嗎? -嗯 233 00:13:17,916 --> 00:13:19,000 有什麼事? 234 00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:23,166 驃叔,你在新聞部做了18年 235 00:13:23,250 --> 00:13:24,625 沒有功也有勞 236 00:13:24,791 --> 00:13:26,583 按照公司的政策 237 00:13:26,666 --> 00:13:28,166 我一定要通知你 238 00:13:28,833 --> 00:13:30,708 這次輪到我升職了吧? 239 00:13:30,875 --> 00:13:33,250 三個月的試用期由今天開始 240 00:13:33,458 --> 00:13:34,375 什麼? 241 00:13:34,458 --> 00:13:37,000 我已經在這裡工作了18年 還要試用期? 242 00:13:37,166 --> 00:13:39,375 我入行的時候,妳還在唸中學 243 00:13:39,750 --> 00:13:40,916 我們別說這些了 244 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:43,541 就說上個月吧,你闖了多少次的禍? 245 00:13:43,625 --> 00:13:44,833 出錯了幾多次呢? 246 00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:47,250 -一次… -你不用數了 247 00:13:47,708 --> 00:13:50,125 我已經把你犯錯的鏡頭,全部剪輯好 248 00:13:50,208 --> 00:13:51,958 請你睜大雙眼看清楚 249 00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:56,791 最近當局搞了個工業安全運動 250 00:13:56,875 --> 00:13:58,791 加強敎育地盤工人 251 00:13:58,875 --> 00:14:01,083 在有危險警告的地方,不要亂走… 252 00:14:05,083 --> 00:14:06,208 那次是意外 253 00:14:06,291 --> 00:14:07,916 接著這次該不是意外了吧? 254 00:14:09,041 --> 00:14:10,708 我在沙頭角報告 255 00:14:10,791 --> 00:14:13,500 颱風消息,這裡多處… 256 00:14:14,208 --> 00:14:15,708 淹水,山泥傾瀉 257 00:14:15,791 --> 00:14:19,125 好大風啊! 258 00:14:19,291 --> 00:14:21,791 -還需要繼續看下去嗎? -不用了 259 00:14:22,250 --> 00:14:23,875 我已經知這發生了什麼事 260 00:14:24,291 --> 00:14:27,250 這條車鑰匙是經理的 請妳替我交還給他 261 00:14:27,708 --> 00:14:29,541 因為妳跟他的關係較為密切 262 00:14:33,208 --> 00:14:34,666 (衛星電視,致雷達驃先生,機密) 263 00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:36,708 冬菇部 264 00:14:36,916 --> 00:14:38,708 什麼?冬菇部? 265 00:14:38,791 --> 00:14:40,875 是啊,這裡專門把人降職的 266 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:42,041 我是驃叔 267 00:14:42,125 --> 00:14:44,500 剛才我跟你說的那兩張演唱會票 268 00:14:44,583 --> 00:14:46,416 我叫秘書拿下來給你吧 269 00:14:46,500 --> 00:14:48,958 不用客氣了,經理,你留著自己看吧 270 00:14:49,416 --> 00:14:50,333 什麼事? 271 00:14:50,500 --> 00:14:52,333 你去問我們的監製就知道了 272 00:14:52,416 --> 00:14:54,000 我現在什麼都看清楚了 273 00:14:54,083 --> 00:14:56,458 總之人窮就火大 憋著一肚子氣就脾氣暴躁 274 00:14:56,541 --> 00:14:58,708 我現在氣憤難平,什麼都會說的 275 00:14:58,791 --> 00:14:59,833 就這樣吧 276 00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:02,125 真是離譜 277 00:15:02,416 --> 00:15:03,500 你來說說吧,驃叔 278 00:15:03,583 --> 00:15:05,625 我在美國讀到傳理系碩士 279 00:15:05,708 --> 00:15:08,708 回來這裡做了18個月 我還需要試用期嗎? 280 00:15:08,833 --> 00:15:09,958 有什麼好奇怪呢? 281 00:15:10,041 --> 00:15:12,375 有人在新聞部做了18年 282 00:15:12,458 --> 00:15:13,833 如今還在試用期呢 283 00:15:13,916 --> 00:15:15,291 是誰那麼丟臉呢? 284 00:15:15,375 --> 00:15:17,666 換作我是他,我就去死了算了 285 00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:19,375 不死也沒用了 286 00:15:19,458 --> 00:15:21,791 死…你去死吧 287 00:15:22,708 --> 00:15:25,666 驃叔,剛才經理打電話來 288 00:15:26,208 --> 00:15:27,875 他叫你把那封信還給我 289 00:15:29,291 --> 00:15:30,416 不用了 290 00:15:30,583 --> 00:15:31,916 我也不想幹了 291 00:15:32,500 --> 00:15:33,791 我想退休 292 00:15:36,083 --> 00:15:37,500 我再給你一次機會 293 00:15:37,583 --> 00:15:39,750 這裡有很多年輕人在等著機會 294 00:15:39,833 --> 00:15:41,958 不用一次過給我兩次機會 295 00:15:42,458 --> 00:15:45,708 我敎妳吧,想降我的職 就得緊守原則 296 00:15:45,875 --> 00:15:47,500 原則也可以變的 297 00:15:47,666 --> 00:15:49,333 會變的就不是原則 298 00:15:51,083 --> 00:15:53,083 可以解僱的話,就不是驃叔了 299 00:15:53,666 --> 00:15:55,250 屋村生活紀要 300 00:15:55,333 --> 00:15:57,500 眼見四大八婆在打麻將 301 00:15:57,583 --> 00:15:58,833 不肯上鏡的是東姑 302 00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:00,833 南姑之後有西姑 303 00:16:01,250 --> 00:16:03,333 北姑不見,只剩下一粒大草姑 304 00:16:05,166 --> 00:16:07,708 -看來這一把是雞糊了 -別說出來 305 00:16:07,791 --> 00:16:09,500 好,先看看我媽媽的牌 306 00:16:10,875 --> 00:16:12,708 -真棒! -別拍了! 307 00:16:12,791 --> 00:16:14,666 -算了吧 -真是的 308 00:16:14,750 --> 00:16:16,583 媽媽,妳小心我的錄影機啊 309 00:16:16,666 --> 00:16:18,833 -你真是個廢物,一整天都在拍 -喂,給錢啊 310 00:16:18,916 --> 00:16:20,291 讀書又不見你這麼勤勞 311 00:16:20,375 --> 00:16:22,791 -我是香港電影新浪潮的希望 -別這樣 312 00:16:22,875 --> 00:16:24,666 我要當史提芬史匹堡 313 00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:27,125 屎屁寶?你以為你的屁股有寶嗎? 314 00:16:27,208 --> 00:16:28,416 真是屁股鬼 315 00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:30,083 他那麼大了,別這樣罵他了 316 00:16:30,166 --> 00:16:32,166 不知道怎麼會生出這個廢物 317 00:16:32,958 --> 00:16:35,625 電視仔,麻煩你替我們換一壺熱茶 318 00:16:36,833 --> 00:16:38,666 服侍女人,完全沒了尊嚴 319 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,000 真是廢物 320 00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:42,458 廢物也可以利用的 321 00:16:42,625 --> 00:16:44,875 喂,妳打得怎麼樣,手氣好不好? 322 00:16:45,041 --> 00:16:47,333 我真的打不慣—兩塊錢的麻將 323 00:16:47,416 --> 00:16:48,375 妳真的不打了? 324 00:16:48,458 --> 00:16:51,000 沒空,我老公約了我去看房子 325 00:16:51,083 --> 00:16:52,625 妳們知道的,我的女兒都長大了 326 00:16:52,708 --> 00:16:54,208 地方不夠住了 327 00:16:54,291 --> 00:16:55,583 驃叔真有本事 328 00:16:55,750 --> 00:16:57,583 真是倒霉,輸了50幾塊 329 00:16:57,666 --> 00:17:00,000 -六合彩可以買20幾注了 -老婆… 330 00:17:00,083 --> 00:17:01,000 老婆 331 00:17:01,375 --> 00:17:02,708 老婆,妳別走,老婆 332 00:17:02,791 --> 00:17:04,791 -妳別走 -你別拉住我 333 00:17:05,291 --> 00:17:07,083 我答應妳,我明天馬上去找工作 334 00:17:07,166 --> 00:17:09,583 我要當個大男人 335 00:17:09,750 --> 00:17:12,291 怎麼搞的?這樣也罰12碼 336 00:17:13,541 --> 00:17:15,708 糟了,我沒帶鑰匙 337 00:17:16,250 --> 00:17:17,833 老婆…妳別走 338 00:17:17,916 --> 00:17:19,375 我沒帶鑰匙,怎麼進去呢? 339 00:17:19,458 --> 00:17:21,583 喂,去社會福利處不就行了? 340 00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:23,875 他們最拿手是破門進屋 341 00:17:23,958 --> 00:17:24,916 可以嗎? 342 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,791 你說你是郭亞女的爸爸不就行了? 343 00:17:28,750 --> 00:17:29,708 是的 344 00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:33,333 喂,招弟,妳想怎麼樣? 345 00:17:33,416 --> 00:17:35,750 就快吃飯了,妳想吃多少?讓我來切 346 00:17:35,833 --> 00:17:36,833 切這裡 347 00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:41,833 喂!拿回來! 348 00:17:42,458 --> 00:17:44,208 借一對絲襪給我吧 349 00:17:44,625 --> 00:17:45,833 妳自己也有絲襪嘛 350 00:17:45,916 --> 00:17:48,125 每對絲襪我都穿過了,人家都見過了 351 00:17:48,208 --> 00:17:49,750 妳反過來穿不就行了嗎? 352 00:17:49,833 --> 00:17:51,875 -來吧,借給我吧… -怎麼了? 353 00:17:51,958 --> 00:17:54,958 我今晚要去跳舞比賽,她連絲襪也 不肯借給我 354 00:17:56,791 --> 00:17:57,958 怎麼了? 355 00:17:58,541 --> 00:18:00,208 才割傷了一點 356 00:18:00,291 --> 00:18:02,416 我去拿藥水膠布,別吵了! 357 00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:06,875 把包包借給我吧,顏色相襯嘛 358 00:18:06,958 --> 00:18:09,750 -為什麼妳老是覬覦我的東西呢? -妳把東西買回來了都不用 359 00:18:09,833 --> 00:18:11,000 因為妳老是把東西借去用 360 00:18:11,083 --> 00:18:12,708 別吵了! 361 00:18:14,208 --> 00:18:15,250 來了! 362 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,166 我的梳子上全是妳的頭皮屑 363 00:18:19,250 --> 00:18:21,500 -頭皮屑是妳自己的 -我的頭不會掉頭皮屑 364 00:18:21,583 --> 00:18:23,875 別吵了,這間屋子能有多大呢? 365 00:18:23,958 --> 00:18:25,416 說話需要那麼大聲嗎? 366 00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:27,125 我警告妳們 367 00:18:27,208 --> 00:18:30,833 在這間屋子裡,如果有誰再大聲說話 我就對他不客氣 368 00:18:31,166 --> 00:18:32,083 老婆 369 00:18:32,416 --> 00:18:33,541 老婆,我回來了! 370 00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:38,625 你想怎麼樣? 371 00:18:39,125 --> 00:18:40,291 -沒有啊 -回來就回來啊 372 00:18:40,375 --> 00:18:41,750 幹嘛那麼大聲? 373 00:18:42,458 --> 00:18:45,958 -老婆,現在流行大聲說話嘛 -走吧 374 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:49,875 這是城市人的節奏,年青人的時尚 375 00:18:49,958 --> 00:18:51,166 都不知道你在說什麼 376 00:18:51,583 --> 00:18:54,291 我說我們要追上潮流! 377 00:18:54,375 --> 00:18:56,083 也對,老公! 378 00:18:56,166 --> 00:18:58,875 今天有封信是你的,是掛號信! 379 00:18:58,958 --> 00:19:00,291 是誰寄來的? 380 00:19:00,375 --> 00:19:03,000 你弟弟約翰,從馬尼拉寄回來的! 381 00:19:04,041 --> 00:19:05,125 約翰那臭小子 382 00:19:05,208 --> 00:19:06,666 我從來不看他的信 383 00:19:07,208 --> 00:19:09,125 你好歹也看一次吧 384 00:19:09,291 --> 00:19:10,833 我最討厭這個弟弟了! 385 00:19:10,916 --> 00:19:12,541 他目無尊長,不給我面子! 386 00:19:12,625 --> 00:19:14,250 以後不許有人再提起他! 387 00:19:15,250 --> 00:19:17,208 妳今晚去跳舞比賽嗎? 388 00:19:17,291 --> 00:19:18,958 那就不用等妳吃飯了! 389 00:19:19,500 --> 00:19:20,916 喝鮮奶嗎? 390 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,750 喝多幾杯吧,招呼不週! 391 00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:29,166 -說話需要那麼大聲嗎? -是啊,這間屋子能有多大呢? 392 00:19:31,083 --> 00:19:33,125 偉大,大功告成 393 00:19:33,208 --> 00:19:35,208 老二,給一些意見吧 394 00:19:35,291 --> 00:19:37,250 妳就拿這個去參加模型比賽嗎? 395 00:19:37,333 --> 00:19:39,916 是的,太陽系,九大行星都齊了 396 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,083 妳覺得怎麼樣? 397 00:19:41,166 --> 00:19:43,166 -不錯 -只是不錯? 398 00:19:43,541 --> 00:19:45,375 為什麼妳的木星那麼小呢? 399 00:19:45,458 --> 00:19:47,208 而且地球旁邊沒有月球 400 00:19:47,458 --> 00:19:49,375 別故意挑剔 401 00:19:49,708 --> 00:19:50,833 那我就不知道了 402 00:19:51,750 --> 00:19:53,375 那麼快就做好了? 403 00:19:53,458 --> 00:19:54,625 這些球既圓… 404 00:19:54,708 --> 00:19:57,166 -顏色又鮮艷 -而且還會轉 405 00:19:57,250 --> 00:20:00,291 真厲害…天才兒童,有我的血統 406 00:20:00,375 --> 00:20:02,375 來…湊一組六合彩號碼吧 407 00:20:02,750 --> 00:20:04,875 預祝我的模型得第一,就選一吧 408 00:20:04,958 --> 00:20:06,000 好,一號 409 00:20:06,416 --> 00:20:08,291 喂,你們每人選一個號碼 410 00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:11,541 喂…妳自己嗜賭就算了 怎麼還教自己的女兒呢? 411 00:20:11,708 --> 00:20:13,625 只是選號碼 412 00:20:13,708 --> 00:20:16,291 老是想發橫財,發財了也不光榮 413 00:20:16,375 --> 00:20:19,416 周潤發之所以這麼成功 也是全靠他自己的努力 414 00:20:19,583 --> 00:20:20,625 開飯吧 415 00:20:25,583 --> 00:20:26,708 媽媽米亞 416 00:20:27,458 --> 00:20:29,708 噓噓仔,幹什麼?想進來嗎? 417 00:20:29,875 --> 00:20:30,958 是的… 418 00:20:31,041 --> 00:20:32,416 妳真聰明,媽媽米亞 419 00:20:33,208 --> 00:20:34,583 叫我伯母 420 00:20:34,666 --> 00:20:36,625 -叫我笑口棗 -笑口棗! 421 00:20:36,916 --> 00:20:38,750 等我一會兒,我在換衣服 422 00:20:38,833 --> 00:20:41,416 慢慢來,距離跳舞比賽還有兩個小時 423 00:20:41,500 --> 00:20:43,791 -你會跳舞嗎? -今晚我跟妳姐姐是拍擋 424 00:20:44,416 --> 00:20:45,375 一定會得冠軍 425 00:20:45,458 --> 00:20:46,708 -喂… -待會跳來看看 426 00:20:46,791 --> 00:20:48,708 你這束頭髮染成這樣,很有型嗎? 427 00:20:48,958 --> 00:20:50,833 伯母,妳錯得非常離譜 428 00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:54,041 這束不是染的,其它的才是染的 429 00:20:54,750 --> 00:20:56,833 喂,你掉了一隻耳環 430 00:20:56,916 --> 00:20:58,666 伯母,妳非常老土 431 00:20:58,750 --> 00:21:00,958 現在流行戴一隻耳環而已 432 00:21:01,708 --> 00:21:03,041 你穿了耳洞嗎? 433 00:21:03,125 --> 00:21:05,125 是啊,追得上潮流的青年 434 00:21:05,208 --> 00:21:08,083 25歲以下,全部都會穿耳洞 435 00:21:08,166 --> 00:21:10,541 那到了26歲 你會不會把這個洞填掉呢? 436 00:21:10,625 --> 00:21:13,083 伯母,妳真會說笑 437 00:21:13,916 --> 00:21:15,166 爸爸,收工了? 438 00:21:15,250 --> 00:21:16,583 我在工作 439 00:21:16,666 --> 00:21:17,958 罐頭味很重 440 00:21:18,791 --> 00:21:20,625 老婆,又吃罐頭嗎? 441 00:21:20,708 --> 00:21:21,541 爸爸 442 00:21:21,625 --> 00:21:23,541 叫伯父,沒那麼礙耳 443 00:21:23,708 --> 00:21:25,625 伯父,有罐頭吃已經很好了 444 00:21:25,708 --> 00:21:27,750 我很多時候連冷飯菜汁都沒得吃 445 00:21:27,833 --> 00:21:30,958 我媽很好賭 只喜歡打麻將和買六合彩 446 00:21:31,041 --> 00:21:32,333 不喜歡煮飯 447 00:21:32,416 --> 00:21:35,041 好賭的女人很令人討厭 448 00:21:35,208 --> 00:21:37,458 -在這件事上,我支持你 -伯母,妳有什麼看法呢? 449 00:21:37,541 --> 00:21:39,583 你殘廢嗎?你不會自己下廚嗎? 450 00:21:39,750 --> 00:21:40,666 自己下廚? 451 00:21:40,750 --> 00:21:42,958 男子漢大丈夫自己下廚 會被人看不起的 452 00:21:43,125 --> 00:21:45,166 今天的女人是不會待在廚房裡的 453 00:21:45,250 --> 00:21:48,166 因為今天的女人還沒遇到明天的男人 454 00:21:48,416 --> 00:21:50,583 那你得聽伯父的忠告 我的女兒不適合你 455 00:21:50,666 --> 00:21:51,708 適合 456 00:21:51,791 --> 00:21:53,291 我和美亞很投契 457 00:21:53,375 --> 00:21:56,333 我們天生一對 我叫含羞草,她叫交際花 458 00:21:56,416 --> 00:21:58,000 -是誰說的? -根叔 459 00:21:59,583 --> 00:22:02,500 -那我們是什麼? -我是絲苗米,妳是電飯煲 460 00:22:07,208 --> 00:22:08,375 他是鬼上身嗎? 461 00:22:08,458 --> 00:22:09,750 他會神打嗎? 462 00:22:14,458 --> 00:22:17,000 米亞,快來… 463 00:22:17,166 --> 00:22:18,791 笑口棗 464 00:22:45,666 --> 00:22:47,583 竟然還扭屁股呢 465 00:22:48,208 --> 00:22:49,541 不得了了 466 00:22:58,416 --> 00:22:59,333 -再見 -再見 467 00:22:59,416 --> 00:23:00,333 再見 468 00:23:00,500 --> 00:23:02,500 姐姐,妳忘了拿手提袋 469 00:23:02,958 --> 00:23:04,791 -謝謝…再見 -再見 470 00:23:05,833 --> 00:23:07,958 -真是老土 -玩得開心一點 471 00:23:08,041 --> 00:23:09,833 玩得小心一點 472 00:23:20,291 --> 00:23:21,458 幾多號啊? 473 00:23:23,458 --> 00:23:24,416 26 474 00:23:24,916 --> 00:23:26,333 26 475 00:23:26,750 --> 00:23:28,083 繼續… 476 00:23:29,833 --> 00:23:32,333 -跳舞比賽怎麼樣了? -輸了 477 00:23:34,208 --> 00:23:35,750 那些男人真是卑鄙 478 00:23:35,833 --> 00:23:38,958 -怎麼了?跟油脂仔吵架嗎? -何止吵架?簡直是絕交 479 00:23:39,041 --> 00:23:40,791 他跳舞的時候踩到妳的尾巴了吧? 480 00:23:41,375 --> 00:23:43,083 好生氣! 481 00:23:43,250 --> 00:23:45,041 剛才跳完舞,我們去吃飯 482 00:23:45,125 --> 00:23:47,625 他目不轉睛地盯著女侍應的大腿看 483 00:23:47,708 --> 00:23:49,625 菜單寫在女侍應的大腿上嗎? 484 00:23:51,166 --> 00:23:52,750 為什麼妳不馬上離開呢? 485 00:23:53,500 --> 00:23:55,791 我沒那麼笨,我才不要離開呢 486 00:23:55,875 --> 00:23:58,375 我先點了一份魚子醬,250塊 487 00:23:58,458 --> 00:24:01,458 再點一份紐西蘭生蠔,280塊 488 00:24:01,541 --> 00:24:04,375 主菜是焗龍蝦,480塊 489 00:24:04,458 --> 00:24:05,750 還有甜品呢 490 00:24:05,833 --> 00:24:07,708 他破產了 491 00:24:07,791 --> 00:24:08,875 那麼多好東西吃 492 00:24:08,958 --> 00:24:11,375 妳應該打電話回來 叫我們全家一起去吃 493 00:24:11,458 --> 00:24:14,833 我吃了他一千多塊 臨走才說要跟他分手 494 00:24:14,916 --> 00:24:18,166 聰明的孩子,有性格 有妳媽媽當年的風範 495 00:24:18,250 --> 00:24:19,708 他很老土,我走出餐廳時還追上來 496 00:24:19,791 --> 00:24:21,333 於是我在大街上賞了他一巴掌 497 00:24:21,416 --> 00:24:22,708 太棒了… 498 00:24:22,791 --> 00:24:24,291 虎母無犬女 499 00:24:24,375 --> 00:24:26,333 當年我就是以這樣的方式 對待妳的爸爸 500 00:24:26,416 --> 00:24:28,083 肥妹,別醜化我的形象 501 00:24:28,708 --> 00:24:30,500 -改天我再傳授幾招給妳 -好啊… 502 00:24:30,583 --> 00:24:31,916 喂,什麼號碼? 503 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:33,666 -15 -15 504 00:24:33,750 --> 00:24:35,166 這樣選號碼也行? 505 00:24:35,416 --> 00:24:37,708 童子手特別靈驗 506 00:24:37,916 --> 00:24:38,791 搞定了 507 00:24:38,875 --> 00:24:40,958 喂,收拾好東西就回房睡覺 508 00:24:49,041 --> 00:24:49,958 吊上去 509 00:24:51,208 --> 00:24:54,333 老公,我們的新房子真是豪華 510 00:24:54,416 --> 00:24:56,041 你在樓上享受得怎麼樣? 511 00:24:56,500 --> 00:24:57,833 這裡很爽的 512 00:24:58,041 --> 00:25:02,166 我以前得在浴室裡放很多個屁 才有這種效果 513 00:25:02,541 --> 00:25:04,958 趕快下來吧,派對快要開始了 514 00:25:06,125 --> 00:25:08,625 阿三、阿四,食物準備得怎麼樣? 515 00:25:08,708 --> 00:25:09,875 差不多了,主人 516 00:25:09,958 --> 00:25:12,458 行就行,不行就不行 什麼叫做“差不多”? 517 00:25:12,541 --> 00:25:15,208 -趕快去廚房工作 -是的,主人 518 00:25:17,041 --> 00:25:19,041 -今晚的煙花準備好了嗎? -準備好了 519 00:25:19,125 --> 00:25:20,416 -試放一次 -好的 520 00:25:22,916 --> 00:25:24,208 好豪華 521 00:25:24,291 --> 00:25:26,791 今晚的賓客一定會大開眼界 522 00:25:29,041 --> 00:25:31,083 爸爸、媽媽,過來看看吧 523 00:25:35,958 --> 00:25:36,833 我真不明白 524 00:25:36,916 --> 00:25:39,708 為什麼你要以雙倍價錢 收購匯豐銀行呢? 525 00:25:40,250 --> 00:25:41,875 沒什麼,只是圖個過癮 526 00:25:43,375 --> 00:25:44,416 謝謝… 527 00:25:45,750 --> 00:25:48,708 不算貴,小意思而已,不算貴啊… 528 00:25:49,083 --> 00:25:51,833 喂!小心點,不要弄髒我的地氈 529 00:25:51,916 --> 00:25:53,750 失禮了,來… 530 00:25:53,958 --> 00:25:57,166 喂,我的古董花瓶很貴的 小心別打破 531 00:26:01,833 --> 00:26:02,708 喂? 532 00:26:03,291 --> 00:26:05,250 你們怎麼還沒來?快點來吧 533 00:26:05,333 --> 00:26:08,083 今晚真的很熱鬧 534 00:26:08,875 --> 00:26:11,625 各位嘉賓 今晚除了慶祝我們新居入伙 535 00:26:11,708 --> 00:26:14,000 還會慶祝我的妹妹得到模型比賽冠軍 536 00:26:14,083 --> 00:26:16,166 現在由她來示範運作她的模型 537 00:26:18,875 --> 00:26:21,166 她這次得獎的模型就是… 538 00:26:22,875 --> 00:26:25,791 大浪灣核電廠 539 00:26:28,458 --> 00:26:30,291 -偉大,真是偉大 -議員 540 00:26:30,791 --> 00:26:33,000 你們幹嘛還要出外考察核電廠呢? 541 00:26:33,083 --> 00:26:36,708 留在這裡 考察我這個天才兒童的核電廠 542 00:26:36,791 --> 00:26:38,916 再把它寫成報告,不是更好嗎? 543 00:26:39,833 --> 00:26:43,291 媽媽!爸爸! 544 00:26:43,625 --> 00:26:46,208 -媽媽! -怎麼了? 545 00:26:46,375 --> 00:26:48,083 我離婚了 546 00:26:48,250 --> 00:26:49,875 -那笑口棗呢? -為什麼? 547 00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:52,625 一出海,他就只會盯著金絲貓來看 548 00:26:52,791 --> 00:26:54,583 氣死我了 549 00:26:57,208 --> 00:27:00,333 -輻射! -輻射! 550 00:27:00,750 --> 00:27:02,833 沒事的…十米範圍以內 551 00:27:02,916 --> 00:27:04,541 都不會受到輻射的影響 552 00:27:04,625 --> 00:27:06,625 -怎麼辦? -趕快離開! 553 00:27:10,750 --> 00:27:12,166 -走吧,女兒! -趕快離開吧! 554 00:27:12,250 --> 00:27:13,916 快點! 555 00:27:43,916 --> 00:27:46,833 -不要站近車門 -這麼多人,不要擠進來啊 556 00:27:46,916 --> 00:27:49,291 是啊,真是離譜? 557 00:27:57,250 --> 00:28:01,791 下一站是中環… 558 00:28:14,416 --> 00:28:15,500 我… 559 00:28:18,666 --> 00:28:21,041 好悶熱,我無法呼吸了 560 00:28:26,083 --> 00:28:26,916 驃叔 561 00:28:28,416 --> 00:28:29,333 驃叔! 562 00:28:29,958 --> 00:28:30,958 驃叔去了哪裡? 563 00:28:31,041 --> 00:28:33,666 他一回來就去了洗手間,他出來了 564 00:28:34,958 --> 00:28:36,958 你也太離譜了吧?一回來就偷懶 565 00:28:37,041 --> 00:28:39,125 -剛才那個女人吐… -看你翻譯的這篇稿 566 00:28:39,416 --> 00:28:42,291 “1964年甘迺迪謀殺案” 567 00:28:42,375 --> 00:28:44,333 -是什麼東西? -沒問題啊 568 00:28:44,541 --> 00:28:47,333 應該是“甘迺迪被謀殺案” 569 00:28:47,416 --> 00:28:48,833 你到底會不會使用文法? 570 00:28:48,916 --> 00:28:50,416 這些叫做被動詞 571 00:28:50,625 --> 00:28:51,625 跟我說一遍 572 00:28:54,541 --> 00:28:56,583 -被動詞 -拿回去改 573 00:29:02,208 --> 00:29:04,041 -好痛啊 -妳怎麼了?沒事吧? 574 00:29:04,125 --> 00:29:05,791 -我的肚子很疼 -怎麼了? 575 00:29:05,875 --> 00:29:07,666 -妳沒事吧? -她腹瀉,肚子疼 576 00:29:07,750 --> 00:29:08,791 趕快送她去醫院 577 00:29:08,958 --> 00:29:11,500 -喂,幫幫忙 -新聞部,還有一分鐘開始直播 578 00:29:11,708 --> 00:29:14,708 總控制室,多播兩首歌 先拖延幾分鐘吧 579 00:29:14,833 --> 00:29:16,541 來…慢慢… 580 00:29:17,083 --> 00:29:18,500 -小心 -出去搽點藥吧,來 581 00:29:18,875 --> 00:29:21,000 -來 -畫面定格了,導演看著辦吧 582 00:29:22,666 --> 00:29:25,125 驃叔,待會那段財經新聞 你一併報告吧 583 00:29:25,208 --> 00:29:27,458 他來報告嗎?你還嫌不夠嚇人嗎? 584 00:29:27,541 --> 00:29:28,708 犯的錯還不夠多嗎? 585 00:29:28,791 --> 00:29:30,166 他已經犯了很多次錯誤 586 00:29:30,250 --> 00:29:31,791 這種人也能相信? 587 00:29:32,333 --> 00:29:33,541 我來報告 588 00:29:41,500 --> 00:29:43,416 新聞部直播,倒數十秒 589 00:29:43,500 --> 00:29:45,125 十、九 590 00:29:45,250 --> 00:29:46,916 八、七 591 00:29:47,416 --> 00:29:49,208 六、五 592 00:29:49,458 --> 00:29:51,333 四、三 593 00:29:51,625 --> 00:29:53,333 二、一 594 00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,541 各位觀眾,現在開始報導午間新聞 595 00:29:59,708 --> 00:30:01,583 -三、四 -四 596 00:30:01,666 --> 00:30:04,791 -五、六、七 -三、二 597 00:30:05,166 --> 00:30:07,333 -八、一… -伸展你的手臂並向前推 598 00:30:07,416 --> 00:30:09,125 -到我老公報導新聞的時段了 -來吧 599 00:30:11,458 --> 00:30:13,875 熊貓嘟嘟證實並未懷孕 600 00:30:13,958 --> 00:30:15,541 經過上次的小產 601 00:30:15,625 --> 00:30:17,541 嘟嘟一度有懷孕的跡象 602 00:30:17,916 --> 00:30:19,250 動物園方面認為 603 00:30:19,333 --> 00:30:21,916 熊貓嘟嘟現正處於求偶期間 604 00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,541 所以最近它的脾氣顯得特別暴躁 605 00:30:24,625 --> 00:30:26,333 接下來由呂摩投報導財經新聞 606 00:30:26,416 --> 00:30:27,791 給呂摩投特寫鏡頭 607 00:30:28,333 --> 00:30:30,666 本港股市方面,自從1984年8月 608 00:30:30,750 --> 00:30:31,958 開始上升以來 609 00:30:32,041 --> 00:30:33,666 不斷創出新的高峰 610 00:30:33,750 --> 00:30:36,416 恆生指數上週創下1997的記錄 611 00:30:36,500 --> 00:30:39,041 中段更加一度衝破兩千點 612 00:30:39,125 --> 00:30:40,208 多個恆生成份股 613 00:30:40,291 --> 00:30:42,541 例如長江實業、和記黃埔 614 00:30:42,625 --> 00:30:44,458 置地、九倉等等 615 00:30:44,541 --> 00:30:45,958 跟去年年尾比較起來 616 00:30:46,041 --> 00:30:47,875 均上升了一成到三成 617 00:30:48,041 --> 00:30:50,583 跟兩年前信心危機比較起來 618 00:30:50,666 --> 00:30:53,750 更加上升三到五倍,期貨方面… 619 00:30:54,041 --> 00:30:57,416 -新聞錄影棚,最後兩分鐘 -…在假期之前 620 00:30:59,458 --> 00:31:02,208 成交量也縮減到三至六… 621 00:31:02,541 --> 00:31:04,083 現貨在九月仍然是集中… 622 00:31:04,166 --> 00:31:06,041 喂,為什麼鏡頭拍到兩個人? 623 00:31:06,208 --> 00:31:08,625 -按鈕壞了 -我找人來修理吧 624 00:31:08,708 --> 00:31:10,166 -都沒人了 -行情反反覆覆 625 00:31:10,333 --> 00:31:11,375 讓兩人都上鏡算了 626 00:31:11,458 --> 00:31:13,666 技術性1930的支持率不夠… 627 00:31:13,750 --> 00:31:16,833 1930暫時還未破 628 00:31:16,916 --> 00:31:19,458 不過偏淡市來說還有五日… 629 00:31:19,541 --> 00:31:23,208 黃金買賣方面 國際金價經過昨天獲利回饋之後 630 00:31:23,291 --> 00:31:25,208 今天在亞洲市場站穩陣腳 631 00:31:25,458 --> 00:31:28,000 徘徊在330至500美元之間 632 00:31:28,875 --> 00:31:31,708 美元經過昨天反彈之後 今天又再回降 633 00:31:33,666 --> 00:31:35,958 -喂,他在幹什麼? -我不知道 634 00:31:37,291 --> 00:31:40,375 驃叔瘋了,找人阻止他吧 635 00:31:41,666 --> 00:31:43,458 中午7.7950 636 00:31:43,541 --> 00:31:45,041 收市7.7890 637 00:31:45,125 --> 00:31:47,375 社會銀行同期拆息率是偏低的 638 00:31:47,458 --> 00:31:49,708 美國跟西德聯手減息的消息 639 00:31:49,791 --> 00:31:52,125 -對美元只是產生了短暫的支持作用 -完蛋了 640 00:31:52,208 --> 00:31:54,041 -投資者對美國的 -為什麼我也在鏡頭裡呢? 641 00:31:54,125 --> 00:31:56,083 經濟指標依然是不看好的 642 00:31:56,416 --> 00:31:58,875 今天的新聞和財經已經報導完畢 643 00:31:58,958 --> 00:32:00,458 謝謝各位收看 644 00:32:04,916 --> 00:32:05,958 你死定了 645 00:32:08,583 --> 00:32:10,583 驃叔,今天有什麼新聞? 646 00:32:10,791 --> 00:32:13,333 今天的新聞 就是我以後都不用報新聞了 647 00:32:13,416 --> 00:32:15,583 -我想見經理 -他剛剛去了外地 648 00:32:15,666 --> 00:32:17,166 我今早還看到他呢 649 00:32:17,250 --> 00:32:20,166 他剛走,要一個禮拜才回來 650 00:32:23,583 --> 00:32:24,958 保琳… 651 00:32:25,250 --> 00:32:27,916 -喂 -妳的盒子好漂亮 652 00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:31,333 裡面的更漂亮 我三天前就已經做好了 653 00:32:31,416 --> 00:32:33,125 一定是妳拿第一名了 654 00:32:33,208 --> 00:32:35,250 妳存好錢請我喝慶功奶昔吧 655 00:32:35,625 --> 00:32:36,916 老師,東西要放在哪裡? 656 00:32:37,083 --> 00:32:38,750 -放在最後面的那張桌子上 -好的 657 00:32:42,833 --> 00:32:44,791 妳猜這火山是活的,還是死的? 658 00:32:44,875 --> 00:32:47,750 -我希望它是死的 -喂,妳看看 659 00:32:51,708 --> 00:32:55,208 我這個鐘的全部齒輪都是用木做的 660 00:32:57,458 --> 00:32:58,500 成功了 661 00:32:59,666 --> 00:33:01,208 為什麼妳看到什麼都發出驚訝聲呢? 662 00:33:01,291 --> 00:33:02,958 對不起 663 00:33:07,291 --> 00:33:09,041 妳別老是發出驚訝聲,好嗎? 664 00:33:09,125 --> 00:33:11,666 我忍不住嘛,給我看看妳的設計 665 00:33:11,750 --> 00:33:13,333 我想開開眼界 666 00:33:13,416 --> 00:33:14,791 先看妳那個 667 00:33:16,583 --> 00:33:17,583 妳在哪裡買的? 668 00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:19,500 我自己做的 669 00:33:23,833 --> 00:33:26,083 這只是玩具,不是科學模型 670 00:33:26,166 --> 00:33:29,416 它最科學的地方就是這個馬達 671 00:33:29,583 --> 00:33:31,500 是由太陽能發電的 672 00:33:31,666 --> 00:33:34,291 -電筒也可以 -妳哥哥幫妳做的嗎? 673 00:33:34,416 --> 00:33:36,791 不是,我自己一手一腳做的 674 00:33:38,625 --> 00:33:39,916 寶琳,妳看看 675 00:33:40,166 --> 00:33:42,791 寶琳,妳設計了什麼? 676 00:33:43,041 --> 00:33:44,375 太陽系 677 00:33:44,458 --> 00:33:45,875 太陽系? 678 00:33:46,375 --> 00:33:48,791 我四年級的時候已經做過了 679 00:33:48,875 --> 00:33:52,916 我那個太陽裝了電燈泡,會發光的 680 00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:55,166 九大行星可以自轉 681 00:33:55,250 --> 00:33:56,916 還有哈雷彗星 682 00:33:57,125 --> 00:34:00,625 不過,比起我這次的模型 那個算是小兒科了 683 00:34:00,875 --> 00:34:02,416 拿走吧 684 00:34:04,458 --> 00:34:07,333 我這個機械人有發聲系統的 685 00:34:09,875 --> 00:34:12,875 你出糗了 686 00:34:12,958 --> 00:34:13,833 動! 687 00:34:20,833 --> 00:34:22,125 寶琳,看著吧 688 00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:29,750 -好厲害! -好厲害! 689 00:34:29,833 --> 00:34:31,833 別拍手了,他瘋掉了 690 00:34:32,125 --> 00:34:33,125 -好厲害! -好厲害! 691 00:34:36,125 --> 00:34:39,666 寶琳,妳破壞了我的發聲系統 692 00:34:39,791 --> 00:34:41,500 動! 693 00:34:41,583 --> 00:34:43,916 -怎麼樣?是不是壞了? -動! 694 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,333 -動! -動! 695 00:34:46,666 --> 00:34:50,208 動! 696 00:34:50,291 --> 00:34:52,416 老師,我能不能過兩天再交呢? 697 00:34:52,500 --> 00:34:54,708 但是比賽規定得今天上交作品呢 698 00:34:54,791 --> 00:34:58,125 我還有很多新的構思 699 00:34:58,333 --> 00:34:59,791 妳肯改進是非常正確的 700 00:34:59,875 --> 00:35:01,916 但是我必須對其他同學公平 701 00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:03,500 -老師… -要開始評分了 702 00:35:03,583 --> 00:35:04,791 回去妳的座位吧 703 00:35:07,583 --> 00:35:09,916 -工廠妹 -二索?正好吃糊 704 00:35:10,208 --> 00:35:12,541 -現在是報導午間新聞,今天… -電視人渣 705 00:35:13,333 --> 00:35:14,333 喂,老婆 706 00:35:15,083 --> 00:35:17,375 買一隻竹絲雞 買兩梳魚翅回來燉一燉吧 707 00:35:17,458 --> 00:35:18,958 你還好意思說呢? 708 00:35:19,041 --> 00:35:22,125 你現在被人解僱了 餐餐都在吃自己的老本,你知道嗎? 709 00:35:22,208 --> 00:35:23,833 這一陣子,我整個人情緒低落 710 00:35:23,916 --> 00:35:25,583 當然想吃一些好東西嘛 711 00:35:25,833 --> 00:35:27,958 面無血色要怎麼去應徵呢? 712 00:35:28,125 --> 00:35:31,041 疾病喜歡欺負窮人的 越窮就越要進補 713 00:35:31,125 --> 00:35:32,708 對…那錢呢? 714 00:35:32,875 --> 00:35:34,583 錢?錢就沒有了 715 00:35:34,750 --> 00:35:36,541 那妳天天吃芽菜 那不是讓別人知道了我們… 716 00:35:36,625 --> 00:35:39,375 你安心好了 我已經散播消息說我要減肥 717 00:35:39,458 --> 00:35:40,916 全家一起吃減肥餐 718 00:35:41,541 --> 00:35:43,000 喂,買一塊肥叉燒吧 719 00:35:43,875 --> 00:35:45,041 快點把錢收起來 720 00:35:51,958 --> 00:35:53,958 -花花 -馮先生 721 00:35:54,041 --> 00:35:55,708 你不用向我們借錢了 722 00:35:55,791 --> 00:35:58,125 我們窮得只能用籌碼來打麻將 723 00:35:58,208 --> 00:36:00,250 -是啊… -如果你想借錢的話 724 00:36:00,333 --> 00:36:01,875 最好去問驃叔 725 00:36:01,958 --> 00:36:04,500 -驃叔最慷慨了 -是的… 726 00:36:06,291 --> 00:36:07,250 驃叔 727 00:36:08,333 --> 00:36:10,833 驃叔,我是老馮 728 00:36:12,166 --> 00:36:14,291 -你怎麼會待在家呢? -放長假 729 00:36:14,375 --> 00:36:16,541 沒什麼,最近我手頭緊 730 00:36:16,958 --> 00:36:18,416 老婆又離開我了 731 00:36:18,791 --> 00:36:20,041 你們豪門大戶 732 00:36:20,125 --> 00:36:22,916 真是羨煞旁人,我想… 733 00:36:23,083 --> 00:36:24,833 -你想借錢吧? -是的… 734 00:36:24,916 --> 00:36:26,458 借錢的話,沒問題 735 00:36:27,250 --> 00:36:29,833 這邊有500塊,你先拿去花吧 736 00:36:30,125 --> 00:36:32,958 街坊之間應該守望相助 737 00:36:33,083 --> 00:36:35,375 所謂“遠親不如近鄰” 738 00:36:36,125 --> 00:36:38,750 這些不過是雪中送炭,拿去花吧 739 00:36:40,416 --> 00:36:42,375 驃叔,你說得真對 740 00:36:42,541 --> 00:36:45,708 如果每個人都好像你這樣 那我就發財了 741 00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:48,541 有錢的時候記得還錢,老馮! 742 00:36:51,333 --> 00:36:53,458 驃嫂,真的很感激妳 743 00:36:53,541 --> 00:36:55,750 -怎麼了? -在我飢寒交迫的時候 744 00:36:55,833 --> 00:36:57,833 驃叔借了500塊給我開飯 745 00:36:57,958 --> 00:36:59,583 -多謝了 -喂! 746 00:36:59,875 --> 00:37:01,833 我趕著去吃牛排,改天再聊吧 747 00:37:01,916 --> 00:37:02,791 -喂! -驃嬸 748 00:37:02,875 --> 00:37:05,208 -驃嬸,妳跟驃叔真是好人 -是啊 749 00:37:05,291 --> 00:37:07,583 又大方,又肯幫人 750 00:37:07,666 --> 00:37:09,916 應該的… 751 00:37:10,916 --> 00:37:12,916 -臭男人 -驃叔真是好人 752 00:37:19,666 --> 00:37:21,083 大不了就不吃 753 00:37:21,708 --> 00:37:23,458 你是不是借了500塊給老馮? 754 00:37:26,875 --> 00:37:27,916 (一擊!) 755 00:37:31,625 --> 00:37:32,500 (啪嗒聲!) 756 00:37:34,500 --> 00:37:35,375 (爆炸聲!) 757 00:37:35,458 --> 00:37:36,333 (拳擊!) 758 00:37:39,500 --> 00:37:40,500 再做兩下 759 00:37:41,125 --> 00:37:42,333 往右看 760 00:37:42,416 --> 00:37:44,000 把腳縮起來…拖地了 761 00:37:44,541 --> 00:37:46,000 媽媽,別妨礙我們 762 00:37:46,083 --> 00:37:47,958 是誰在妨礙誰呢? 763 00:37:49,291 --> 00:37:50,708 是時候核對六合彩了 764 00:37:55,041 --> 00:37:57,083 我借錢給別人,你就打得我雙眼瘀青 765 00:37:57,166 --> 00:37:59,083 妳自己則浪費錢買六合彩 766 00:37:59,166 --> 00:38:01,125 你借錢給別人,是拿不回來的 767 00:38:01,208 --> 00:38:02,583 我買六合彩還能賭一把 768 00:38:02,666 --> 00:38:03,791 -媽媽 -賭一把? 769 00:38:03,875 --> 00:38:05,958 -還沒賭到,我已經吃拳頭了 -爸爸 770 00:38:06,125 --> 00:38:07,375 要是賭成了 那我不就得吃磚塊了嗎? 771 00:38:07,458 --> 00:38:09,666 喂,幹嘛當著女兒的面奚落我? 772 00:38:09,750 --> 00:38:11,291 你怕吃磚塊吧? 773 00:38:11,416 --> 00:38:13,041 那就不核對了 774 00:38:14,208 --> 00:38:16,833 -現在是開獎的過程… -幹嘛不核對?是花錢買的! 775 00:38:16,916 --> 00:38:18,875 -好歹也賭一把運氣 -是我的 776 00:38:20,416 --> 00:38:21,791 妳買了這麼多? 777 00:38:21,875 --> 00:38:23,666 難怪我們每一餐都吃芽菜 778 00:38:23,750 --> 00:38:25,041 看好 779 00:38:26,625 --> 00:38:29,083 第一個出來的號碼就是… 780 00:38:29,166 --> 00:38:30,250 22號 781 00:38:30,333 --> 00:38:33,125 -22號… -22號… 782 00:38:34,416 --> 00:38:36,666 這張有22號,發財了! 783 00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:41,541 觀音聖母瑪利亞 784 00:38:41,625 --> 00:38:43,625 拜託你讓我中獎一次吧 785 00:38:43,708 --> 00:38:45,916 我這個人不貪心,中一次就夠了 786 00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:47,791 拜託你… 787 00:38:48,208 --> 00:38:51,291 第二個出來的號碼就是6號! 788 00:38:51,375 --> 00:38:54,166 -第二個出來的… -我又中了! 789 00:38:54,250 --> 00:38:57,541 -中了兩個號碼! -發財了!比周潤發更發! 790 00:38:57,625 --> 00:39:00,041 第三個出來的號碼就是… 791 00:39:00,125 --> 00:39:01,083 40號! 792 00:39:01,166 --> 00:39:02,541 -第三個… -40號 793 00:39:03,833 --> 00:39:05,166 我中了三個號碼! 794 00:39:05,250 --> 00:39:07,333 -發財了!發過《基本法》了! -三個了! 795 00:39:07,416 --> 00:39:09,416 -冷靜! -已經出來三個號碼了 796 00:39:09,500 --> 00:39:10,833 接下來的三個號碼 797 00:39:10,916 --> 00:39:14,000 就決定了誰是一千五百萬元的得主 798 00:39:14,083 --> 00:39:16,416 好,大家留意第四個號碼 799 00:39:16,500 --> 00:39:18,541 第四個出來的號碼就是… 800 00:39:29,291 --> 00:39:30,833 現在重複最後三個號碼 801 00:39:30,916 --> 00:39:34,250 就是30號、35號和39號 802 00:39:34,541 --> 00:39:35,958 都沒中 803 00:39:36,041 --> 00:39:38,041 只是中三個號碼就沒了 804 00:39:38,541 --> 00:39:40,041 各位,不要氣焰 805 00:39:40,291 --> 00:39:41,625 是氣餒,不是氣焰 806 00:39:41,708 --> 00:39:43,791 不要灰心,我們再組別的號碼吧 807 00:39:44,125 --> 00:39:45,291 老公,你先說 808 00:39:45,791 --> 00:39:47,541 我的心非常鬱悶,5號吧 809 00:39:47,916 --> 00:39:49,208 5號 810 00:39:49,375 --> 00:39:51,166 -10號 -10號 811 00:39:51,250 --> 00:39:53,791 -隨便說說,15號吧 -15號 812 00:39:53,958 --> 00:39:55,666 -那我選20號吧 -20號 813 00:39:55,750 --> 00:39:57,500 那我自己選25號 814 00:39:57,583 --> 00:39:59,291 老公,你多選一個號碼吧 815 00:39:59,458 --> 00:40:01,625 只是中三個號碼就完蛋了,三零吧 816 00:40:01,708 --> 00:40:03,458 30號 817 00:40:03,666 --> 00:40:06,166 老婆,如果真的中獎了 那我就不用工作了 818 00:40:06,375 --> 00:40:08,791 你想得美?明早就去找工作! 819 00:40:15,833 --> 00:40:17,791 小姐,麻煩幫我添杯咖啡 820 00:40:18,333 --> 00:40:20,125 先生,已經第六杯了 821 00:40:20,208 --> 00:40:22,500 喝這麼多咖啡,你的手不會抖嗎? 822 00:40:26,791 --> 00:40:27,958 (詢問處) 823 00:40:29,375 --> 00:40:31,291 黏人鬼,先去退房吧 824 00:40:31,875 --> 00:40:32,958 喂 825 00:40:42,375 --> 00:40:44,333 -你們好 -你真的很粘人 826 00:40:46,041 --> 00:40:47,250 (收銀處) 827 00:40:47,333 --> 00:40:49,250 遇到熟人了,妳等我一下 828 00:40:49,666 --> 00:40:50,833 不要看過來 829 00:40:53,083 --> 00:40:55,041 -驃叔,你怎麼知道我在這裡呢? -經理 830 00:40:55,125 --> 00:40:56,541 我找你很多天了 831 00:40:56,625 --> 00:40:57,916 你竟然找到這裡來? 832 00:40:58,083 --> 00:40:59,458 我找得你很辛苦 833 00:40:59,583 --> 00:41:02,375 他們說你去了外地 想不到在這裡見到你 834 00:41:02,625 --> 00:41:03,833 又見到她 835 00:41:08,166 --> 00:41:09,916 究竟你找我有什麼事? 836 00:41:10,083 --> 00:41:11,583 她把我解僱了 837 00:41:12,083 --> 00:41:14,083 以後我就不可以追隨你左右了 838 00:41:14,333 --> 00:41:15,958 所以我覺得很不安心 839 00:41:16,041 --> 00:41:17,125 一旦不安心 840 00:41:17,208 --> 00:41:19,541 說話就會糊里糊塗 不清不楚,不三不四 841 00:41:19,625 --> 00:41:20,708 會亂說話 842 00:41:21,125 --> 00:41:23,833 你別說了,今晚馬上回新聞部復職 843 00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:26,458 這樣不太好,好像我在要脅你那樣 844 00:41:26,583 --> 00:41:27,958 我不是這種人 845 00:41:28,125 --> 00:41:29,750 現在不是你要脅我 846 00:41:29,833 --> 00:41:32,750 而是我要脅你來要脅我啊 847 00:41:32,833 --> 00:41:34,166 你要脅我? 848 00:41:34,875 --> 00:41:36,166 是我要脅自己 849 00:41:36,250 --> 00:41:38,833 要脅你來要脅我 850 00:41:38,916 --> 00:41:40,541 無論如何,今晚馬上上班 851 00:41:40,625 --> 00:41:43,333 那別管誰要脅誰了,總之謝謝經理 852 00:41:44,458 --> 00:41:45,541 老婆 853 00:41:46,125 --> 00:41:48,291 -那群猴子去了哪裡? -還沒放學 854 00:41:48,500 --> 00:41:50,166 -我說個好消息給妳聽 -什麼? 855 00:41:50,250 --> 00:41:51,416 經理說請我回去上班 856 00:41:51,500 --> 00:41:53,833 由今晚開始,我回去報新聞了 857 00:41:54,291 --> 00:41:55,791 這就好了… 858 00:41:55,875 --> 00:41:58,750 前幾天我在黃大仙那裡 求到一支上上簽 859 00:41:58,833 --> 00:42:00,375 我就知道一定會走運的 860 00:42:00,458 --> 00:42:02,500 現在守得雲開見月明了 861 00:42:02,625 --> 00:42:03,541 老公,來吧 862 00:42:05,291 --> 00:42:07,833 窩麻鮑燉天九翅,你一定喜歡吃的 863 00:42:07,916 --> 00:42:10,125 還有一支XO酒,來吧 864 00:42:17,375 --> 00:42:19,291 -老婆,妳太過分了 -怎麼了? 865 00:42:19,583 --> 00:42:21,958 我還沒上班,還沒有得到薪水 866 00:42:22,125 --> 00:42:23,875 妳那麼快就花我的錢了? 867 00:42:25,791 --> 00:42:26,833 幹嘛笑得那麼風騷? 868 00:42:27,500 --> 00:42:30,000 妳怎麼說我風騷呢?神經病 869 00:42:30,375 --> 00:42:31,791 真是風騷 870 00:42:31,875 --> 00:42:34,166 哪來這麼多錢買這些東西? 871 00:42:35,125 --> 00:42:36,500 私房錢 872 00:42:37,166 --> 00:42:40,416 妳肯用私房錢來買這麼好的東西 便宜我嗎? 873 00:42:41,250 --> 00:42:43,708 老公,我知道以前是我不好 874 00:42:43,791 --> 00:42:46,333 所以現在就給你吃個飽 875 00:42:46,583 --> 00:42:49,375 用不明來歷的錢買來的東西 我是不會吃的 876 00:42:49,625 --> 00:42:51,875 妳說,妳從哪裡得來這些骯髒錢? 877 00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:53,125 骯髒錢? 878 00:42:53,291 --> 00:42:56,083 難怪妳最近笑得這麼風騷 879 00:42:56,250 --> 00:42:57,291 我明白了 880 00:42:57,375 --> 00:42:58,500 嫌我窮吧 881 00:42:58,583 --> 00:42:59,833 在外面認識了第二個男人 882 00:42:59,916 --> 00:43:02,291 神經病,我都不知道你說什麼 883 00:43:02,583 --> 00:43:04,250 這些東西值一千多塊錢 884 00:43:04,333 --> 00:43:06,750 如果妳有一千多塊,妳會拿去電髮 885 00:43:06,833 --> 00:43:10,208 打麻將,買六合彩,發妳的橫財夢 886 00:43:11,333 --> 00:43:13,375 妳見錢眼開 887 00:43:13,458 --> 00:43:14,833 財迷心竅 888 00:43:14,916 --> 00:43:15,958 拜金主義 889 00:43:16,041 --> 00:43:17,916 -妳會便宜我嗎? -喂,去看是什麼事,快 890 00:43:18,333 --> 00:43:19,750 真是世風日下 891 00:43:19,916 --> 00:43:22,416 -為了錢,妳出賣自己的靈魂 -別這麼大聲 892 00:43:22,500 --> 00:43:24,750 -妳簡直是無恥! -別吵! 893 00:43:25,416 --> 00:43:27,583 你這樣就是逼我向你攤牌吧? 894 00:43:28,500 --> 00:43:30,625 我也知道瞞不住你了 895 00:43:31,041 --> 00:43:32,583 妳終於肯承認了 896 00:43:33,291 --> 00:43:36,125 我說出來的話 你得承受得住這個剌激 897 00:43:36,208 --> 00:43:37,625 真的有第三者 898 00:43:37,708 --> 00:43:39,791 老實告訴你,我… 899 00:43:40,708 --> 00:43:42,375 中了六合彩 900 00:43:42,583 --> 00:43:43,458 中了… 901 00:43:44,666 --> 00:43:47,000 -聽不到,怎麼聽不到呢? -聽不到 902 00:43:48,833 --> 00:43:50,500 老婆,妳是不是真的中了六合彩? 903 00:43:50,583 --> 00:43:52,291 -是的 -多少錢? 904 00:43:52,375 --> 00:43:54,333 拜託妳趕快告訴我多少錢? 905 00:43:54,416 --> 00:43:55,666 -多少… -十九萬 906 00:43:55,958 --> 00:43:57,041 十九萬? 907 00:43:57,750 --> 00:43:59,416 我這輩子從未擁有過那麼多錢 908 00:43:59,500 --> 00:44:01,125 老婆,等我們把錢拿回來之後 909 00:44:01,208 --> 00:44:02,958 我們就不停地數錢… 910 00:44:03,041 --> 00:44:03,916 多數幾天 911 00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:06,958 過足癮之後 就一起把錢拿去花吧,肥妹 912 00:44:07,750 --> 00:44:09,125 什麼?什麼一起花? 913 00:44:09,208 --> 00:44:11,375 這張六合彩 是我目己一個人去街上買的 914 00:44:11,458 --> 00:44:13,416 -沒你的份 -不是,老婆 915 00:44:13,500 --> 00:44:15,875 大家老夫老妻,不用分彼此了吧? 916 00:44:15,958 --> 00:44:17,375 妳的不就是我的嗎? 917 00:44:17,916 --> 00:44:20,416 我的錢是偷男人得來的,是骯髒的 918 00:44:20,500 --> 00:44:21,958 骯髒又有何要緊呢? 919 00:44:22,041 --> 00:44:24,208 我們一起把它洗乾淨不就行了 920 00:44:24,291 --> 00:44:25,333 是臭的 921 00:44:25,416 --> 00:44:27,541 香的… 922 00:44:27,708 --> 00:44:29,625 你說話都算荒謬至極了 923 00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:33,500 我們女人就不會有錢了 連買六合彩都不會中獎 924 00:44:33,583 --> 00:44:36,291 老婆,我只是胡亂說話而已 925 00:44:36,375 --> 00:44:39,083 像妳這樣又怎麼偷男人呢? 926 00:44:39,291 --> 00:44:40,916 你這就是說我不夠吸引力了? 927 00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:43,083 不是,妳現在很有吸引力 928 00:44:43,166 --> 00:44:44,083 老婆 929 00:44:44,333 --> 00:44:46,416 老婆,我不可以沒有你的 930 00:44:46,500 --> 00:44:48,833 我真的是死心塌地地愛妳的,老婆 931 00:44:50,750 --> 00:44:53,500 -真肉麻 -什麼都沒 932 00:44:54,583 --> 00:44:55,583 (直播中) 933 00:44:56,708 --> 00:44:58,708 十九萬,你以為錢少嗎? 934 00:44:58,958 --> 00:45:00,500 十九萬… 935 00:45:00,583 --> 00:45:03,125 驃叔,這次是最後一次機會了 936 00:45:03,208 --> 00:45:05,541 你行的話就沒問題 不行的話就自動消失吧 937 00:45:07,708 --> 00:45:10,958 我會原諒她的 她在一年裡怎能賺十九萬呢?對吧? 938 00:45:15,500 --> 00:45:16,708 請多多指教 939 00:45:19,291 --> 00:45:21,208 熊貓嘟嘟終於懷孕了 940 00:45:21,291 --> 00:45:24,083 -這件事令到動物園的人非常高興 -財經報導員請叫他說快一些 941 00:45:24,166 --> 00:45:26,083 財經之前是六合彩的消息 942 00:45:26,166 --> 00:45:27,875 今期的彩球號碼是… 943 00:45:27,958 --> 00:45:29,916 5、10、15 944 00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:32,416 20、25、30 945 00:45:32,875 --> 00:45:35,250 發財了! 946 00:45:35,333 --> 00:45:37,666 -特別號碼是30 -太棒了! 947 00:45:38,375 --> 00:45:40,125 -只有一人中了頭獎 -太棒了! 948 00:45:40,208 --> 00:45:42,541 獎金是十九萬九千七百元 949 00:45:43,041 --> 00:45:44,916 -他說錯了 -不是十九萬 950 00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:46,958 -是一千九百萬 -喂,不對 951 00:45:47,041 --> 00:45:48,833 是一千九百萬 952 00:45:50,291 --> 00:45:51,291 一千九百萬? 953 00:45:51,500 --> 00:45:52,666 老婆,是不是真的? 954 00:45:52,750 --> 00:45:55,458 -真的! -爸爸,是真的! 955 00:45:56,125 --> 00:45:57,208 一千九百萬 956 00:45:59,250 --> 00:46:01,041 -一千九百萬 -我的天啊 957 00:46:02,583 --> 00:46:03,583 你笑什麼? 958 00:46:03,708 --> 00:46:04,791 笑一下也不行嗎? 959 00:46:11,500 --> 00:46:12,958 -各位觀眾 -他… 960 00:46:13,541 --> 00:46:14,583 他又來了 961 00:46:15,666 --> 00:46:17,458 我不想再為電視台打工了 962 00:46:18,041 --> 00:46:19,750 電視台剝削機構 963 00:46:20,208 --> 00:46:21,625 欺壓底薪職員 964 00:46:21,750 --> 00:46:24,416 -浪費了我18年的青春 -喂… 965 00:46:24,500 --> 00:46:25,541 “喂”什麼?八婆! 966 00:46:25,833 --> 00:46:27,875 尤其是這些人渣 967 00:46:27,958 --> 00:46:29,500 仗著跟總經理通姦 968 00:46:29,583 --> 00:46:30,916 目中無人 969 00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:33,958 一朝得志,她就語無倫次 970 00:46:39,625 --> 00:46:41,583 笑什麼?妳真是有病 971 00:46:41,666 --> 00:46:43,541 老公,明天我們找屋子搬家吧 972 00:46:43,625 --> 00:46:46,375 我要住大屋 以後不要再住這些白鴿舍了 973 00:46:46,541 --> 00:46:47,958 我們一說要搬去大屋子住 974 00:46:48,041 --> 00:46:50,875 不就等於告訴別人我們發財了 那些人就會來跟我們借錢了啊 975 00:46:50,958 --> 00:46:53,250 搬家也可以靜悄悄的,對不對? 976 00:46:53,333 --> 00:46:54,833 先考慮一下吧,睡吧… 977 00:47:01,125 --> 00:47:02,583 喂,老婆 978 00:47:02,708 --> 00:47:04,250 反正我們都想著搬家了 979 00:47:04,333 --> 00:47:06,500 這個月無論如何也別交租給房屋署了 980 00:47:06,583 --> 00:47:07,583 實行拖租 981 00:47:07,708 --> 00:47:10,125 看在他們加租加得這麼過癮的份上 能拖一個月就一個月吧 982 00:47:10,208 --> 00:47:12,166 太好了…睡吧 983 00:47:18,166 --> 00:47:19,458 喂,老公 984 00:47:20,041 --> 00:47:23,083 從明天開始 我每天燉雞包翅給你拌飯 985 00:47:23,166 --> 00:47:25,375 龍蝦當早餐,你滿意嗎? 986 00:47:25,500 --> 00:47:27,083 很多膽固醇的 987 00:47:27,500 --> 00:47:29,291 -萬一得心臟病怎麼辦? -你真壞 988 00:47:29,375 --> 00:47:31,583 頭一次聽你說不要吃雞包翅呢 989 00:47:31,708 --> 00:47:33,041 睡吧… 990 00:47:37,833 --> 00:47:39,000 喂,老婆 991 00:47:39,708 --> 00:47:42,708 妳記住,以後別再跟她們打麻將了 992 00:47:42,791 --> 00:47:44,916 萬一妳打得興奮起來,什麼都說漏嘴 993 00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:46,833 我不會說漏嘴的 994 00:47:46,916 --> 00:47:48,416 妳會的 995 00:47:49,333 --> 00:47:50,333 這樣好了 996 00:47:50,416 --> 00:47:52,125 我明天特地拿東西去當 997 00:47:52,208 --> 00:47:54,041 讓他們以為我們很窮 這樣可以了吧? 998 00:47:54,125 --> 00:47:56,125 -這個辦法也不錯 -嗯,睡吧 999 00:48:03,500 --> 00:48:05,750 喂,你在想什麼? 1000 00:48:06,125 --> 00:48:08,083 -想什麼? -你以為我不知道嗎? 1001 00:48:08,166 --> 00:48:10,666 飽暖思淫慾 發財了最好死老婆,對嗎? 1002 00:48:10,750 --> 00:48:13,458 老婆,妳那麼大隻,怎麼會死呢? 1003 00:48:13,541 --> 00:48:14,916 不許你想女人 1004 00:48:15,666 --> 00:48:18,500 -不想,睡吧 -“不想,睡吧”? 1005 00:48:49,125 --> 00:48:50,250 老公 1006 00:49:22,083 --> 00:49:23,041 舉手! 1007 00:49:27,875 --> 00:49:30,500 老婆,我知錯了 我發財了也不敢指望妳死了 1008 00:49:35,916 --> 00:49:39,500 米亞… 1009 00:49:43,541 --> 00:49:44,708 米亞 1010 00:49:46,083 --> 00:49:49,000 我找到米亞了,喂,米亞在那邊 1011 00:49:49,625 --> 00:49:51,041 她一個人前來的 1012 00:49:52,833 --> 00:49:55,125 姐姐,我們的新泳池有水了 1013 00:49:56,333 --> 00:49:58,125 妳的新房子,有沒有我的份呢? 1014 00:49:58,208 --> 00:50:00,416 妳那麼疼我,一定留個大房間給妳 1015 00:50:00,958 --> 00:50:02,500 這間是妳的 1016 00:50:02,875 --> 00:50:04,458 這間是老二的 1017 00:50:04,541 --> 00:50:06,708 -喂,看路啊! -對不起 1018 00:50:07,416 --> 00:50:10,083 老大,妳去別處曬太陽吧 1019 00:50:10,166 --> 00:50:13,333 妳再在這裡曬太陽的話 我的房子就建不成了 1020 00:50:13,416 --> 00:50:15,250 除非這個沙灘上的男人都沒有腳了 1021 00:50:15,333 --> 00:50:16,291 喂! 1022 00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:19,500 笑口棗,你弄壞我的房子了! 1023 00:50:19,583 --> 00:50:21,208 對不起… 1024 00:50:23,166 --> 00:50:24,208 米亞 1025 00:50:26,166 --> 00:50:28,166 上次在餐廳是我不對 1026 00:50:28,250 --> 00:50:31,375 你走吧,小籠包 陳世美,沒有良心! 1027 00:50:31,458 --> 00:50:33,875 -去買冰淇淋吧,快點… -姐姐,妳別心軟啊 1028 00:50:34,875 --> 00:50:37,541 餐廳的女孩子看膩了 現在來沙灘看別的女孩了嗎? 1029 00:50:37,625 --> 00:50:39,416 上次妳誤會我了 1030 00:50:39,500 --> 00:50:42,125 我只不過看女侍應腿上的那顆痣 1031 00:50:42,291 --> 00:50:43,625 一開始我還以為是蒼蠅 1032 00:50:43,708 --> 00:50:45,416 後來很好奇她為什麼不會覺得癢呢? 1033 00:50:45,500 --> 00:50:48,250 於是我認真一看,原來真的是痣 1034 00:50:48,541 --> 00:50:50,500 現在沙灘上那麼多女孩子的腳都有痣 1035 00:50:50,583 --> 00:50:51,791 你怎麼不去看是不是蒼蠅? 1036 00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:54,333 我看過了,那些不是痣 1037 00:50:54,416 --> 00:50:55,875 真的是蒼蠅 1038 00:50:57,333 --> 00:50:58,666 我懶得理你 1039 00:51:12,166 --> 00:51:14,916 兄弟!糟了,這次不行了 1040 00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:17,125 不行?我的計程車更不行了 1041 00:51:17,208 --> 00:51:19,375 為了送你來,現在連車都壞了 1042 00:51:19,458 --> 00:51:20,791 回去肯定被老闆解僱了 1043 00:51:24,583 --> 00:51:26,291 做兄弟要有難同當 1044 00:51:26,458 --> 00:51:28,875 你們兩個無論如何也要幫我這一次了 1045 00:51:29,250 --> 00:51:30,416 幫啊 1046 00:51:30,625 --> 00:51:32,416 喂,那怎麼樣幫呢? 1047 00:51:37,000 --> 00:51:39,083 小妹妹,怎麼一個人那麼寂寞啊? 1048 00:51:39,166 --> 00:51:40,416 讓我來陪妳吧 1049 00:51:40,875 --> 00:51:41,833 曬得真漂亮 1050 00:51:41,916 --> 00:51:43,958 -你們幹什麼? -我們來調戲妳的 1051 00:51:44,041 --> 00:51:47,083 妳生氣了嗎?沒有男朋友陪伴 是非常危險的哦 1052 00:51:47,166 --> 00:51:52,583 米亞,我來救妳了! 1053 00:51:55,541 --> 00:51:58,250 別害怕,我們暫時不會侵犯妳的 1054 00:51:58,333 --> 00:51:59,708 遲些就很難說了 1055 00:51:59,791 --> 00:52:02,583 米亞,我來救妳了 1056 00:52:05,458 --> 00:52:08,083 -你們究竟想怎麼樣? -我們想要幹的事情很多 1057 00:52:08,166 --> 00:52:10,458 -不過現在還不是時候 -米亞 1058 00:52:10,541 --> 00:52:12,583 救命啊! 1059 00:52:17,333 --> 00:52:19,291 救我! 1060 00:52:20,625 --> 00:52:22,958 -笑口棗真是丟人 -走吧 1061 00:52:33,750 --> 00:52:35,083 笑口棗 1062 00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:57,708 笑口棗… 1063 00:52:59,750 --> 00:53:00,750 米亞 1064 00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:03,666 米亞,我終於救到妳了 1065 00:53:04,250 --> 00:53:06,416 -笑口棗 -米亞 1066 00:53:10,708 --> 00:53:12,083 老大! 1067 00:53:12,875 --> 00:53:14,375 老大! 1068 00:53:14,875 --> 00:53:16,333 老大! 1069 00:53:20,041 --> 00:53:21,916 什麼?你們家中了六合彩? 1070 00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:25,291 真的,有了錢 我們就可以過得更浪漫了 1071 00:53:26,041 --> 00:53:29,833 我叫爸爸給我買一艘遊艇 那我們就可以揚帆出海了 1072 00:53:29,916 --> 00:53:31,625 過我們的二人世界 1073 00:53:32,583 --> 00:53:34,333 我的米亞 1074 00:53:35,833 --> 00:53:36,750 爸爸 1075 00:53:36,833 --> 00:53:40,458 有一張明信片 是六叔從馬尼拉寄來給你的 1076 00:53:42,500 --> 00:53:44,291 看看他寫了什麼吧 1077 00:53:44,375 --> 00:53:46,083 他會有什麼好寫的呢? 1078 00:53:46,166 --> 00:53:47,833 他說他想回來香港 1079 00:53:47,916 --> 00:53:50,125 到時想約你吃個晚飯,見個面 1080 00:53:50,208 --> 00:53:53,041 好,妳替我寫封回信給他 叫他自己吃吧 1081 00:53:53,500 --> 00:53:56,958 爸爸,你們是兩兄弟 為什麼不要跟他吃飯呢? 1082 00:53:57,041 --> 00:53:59,125 你經常都跟自己討厭的人吃飯啊 1083 00:53:59,208 --> 00:54:01,666 那不同,妳媽媽是我的老婆 1084 00:54:01,791 --> 00:54:04,166 我真不明白你為什麼 那麼討厭六叔呢? 1085 00:54:04,250 --> 00:54:05,500 妳當然不明白 1086 00:54:05,583 --> 00:54:08,208 妳沒有試過被人用辣椒油倒在褲子上 1087 00:54:08,291 --> 00:54:09,958 睡覺的時候被人劃兩個黑眼圈 1088 00:54:10,041 --> 00:54:12,041 爸爸,你不是那麼小氣吧? 1089 00:54:12,125 --> 00:54:15,083 最離譜的是那一次 故意在我生日那天 1090 00:54:15,250 --> 00:54:17,541 他當著所有親戚朋友的面 1091 00:54:17,666 --> 00:54:20,458 迎面把蛋糕蓋到我的臉上 1092 00:54:25,500 --> 00:54:26,958 他就笑得風涼啦 1093 00:54:27,041 --> 00:54:29,791 他最喜歡把快樂建築在我的痛苦之上 1094 00:54:34,083 --> 00:54:36,291 爸爸,我想買隻遊艇 1095 00:54:36,375 --> 00:54:37,333 好,買吧 1096 00:54:37,500 --> 00:54:39,708 爸爸,你真好,謝謝你 1097 00:54:40,083 --> 00:54:41,916 不用謝我,妳自己出錢買的嘛 1098 00:54:42,500 --> 00:54:45,958 -我是說那兩千萬 -我的錢是拿來這樣用的嗎? 1099 00:54:46,125 --> 00:54:48,458 -爸爸… -爸爸,我有事要跟你商量 1100 00:54:48,541 --> 00:54:49,958 -爸爸… -妳沒得商量 1101 00:54:50,041 --> 00:54:51,666 妳有得商量,再見 1102 00:54:52,083 --> 00:54:55,291 聖誕節我約了兩個朋友 去曰本聽演唱會… 1103 00:54:55,375 --> 00:54:56,333 不行 1104 00:54:56,875 --> 00:54:57,791 我… 1105 00:54:57,875 --> 00:54:59,291 我都還沒說完 1106 00:54:59,541 --> 00:55:01,250 對我來說,妳已經說完了 1107 00:55:01,416 --> 00:55:03,458 我約好了朋友去旅行 1108 00:55:03,666 --> 00:55:05,125 旅行?去新娘潭吧 1109 00:55:05,875 --> 00:55:07,333 你怕我把你的錢花光而已嘛 1110 00:55:07,416 --> 00:55:10,083 幾個女孩子去日本,很不安全的 1111 00:55:10,208 --> 00:55:11,625 不會的 1112 00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:14,958 我們去聽安全地帶的表演 那裡很安全的 1113 00:55:15,125 --> 00:55:17,958 -妳會說日語嗎? -說英語不就行了 1114 00:55:18,041 --> 00:55:21,291 曰本人說英文只有曰本人才聽得懂 1115 00:55:21,375 --> 00:55:23,208 日本浴室是男女共浴 1116 00:55:23,291 --> 00:55:25,375 曰本男人到處小便 1117 00:55:25,458 --> 00:55:27,250 妳不能去這種地方的 1118 00:55:27,416 --> 00:55:29,125 我們只是去原宿學藝 1119 00:55:29,208 --> 00:55:31,708 去學松田聖子、菊池桃子 1120 00:55:31,958 --> 00:55:33,833 如果我紅了,你就發財了 1121 00:55:33,916 --> 00:55:36,958 最怕妳學岡田有希子跳樓自殺 1122 00:55:37,125 --> 00:55:39,125 我去了解曰本的文化和歷史 1123 00:55:39,208 --> 00:55:41,000 歷史?妳還說歷史? 1124 00:55:41,083 --> 00:55:43,000 任何歷史都被日本人改掉了 1125 00:55:43,083 --> 00:55:45,166 記得九一八、一二八、香港三年零八 1126 00:55:45,250 --> 00:55:47,041 -爸爸,你別那麼八 -還有啊 1127 00:55:47,125 --> 00:55:49,416 霸佔了我們釣魚台 讓我們沒地方釣魚 1128 00:55:49,500 --> 00:55:52,166 妳別想去日本了 聖誕節跟我回鄉下吧 1129 00:55:52,250 --> 00:55:53,125 -回鄉下? -回鄉下? 1130 00:55:53,208 --> 00:55:55,166 不好嗎?在親戚面前炫耀一次 1131 00:55:55,250 --> 00:55:56,500 衣錦還鄉 1132 00:55:57,375 --> 00:55:58,583 那麼老土 1133 00:56:02,875 --> 00:56:04,541 去看看是不是老馮 如果他來借錢的話 1134 00:56:04,625 --> 00:56:05,875 -說我不在 -知道了 1135 00:56:16,208 --> 00:56:18,500 老公,你看我漂不漂亮? 1136 00:56:19,625 --> 00:56:21,375 -彩虹之頭 -看看妳把頭髮弄成這樣 1137 00:56:21,458 --> 00:56:23,500 我又剪又燙,再加上挑染 1138 00:56:23,583 --> 00:56:25,041 才兩千多塊 1139 00:56:25,125 --> 00:56:26,541 妳真是敗家 1140 00:56:26,708 --> 00:56:28,625 這是法國夜巴黎,香不香? 1141 00:56:29,333 --> 00:56:31,416 還有一件泳裝比基尼呢 1142 00:56:31,500 --> 00:56:34,083 是我的,我今年也要穿一次 1143 00:56:34,166 --> 00:56:36,541 這樣才算跟得上潮流 1144 00:56:36,625 --> 00:56:38,583 -妳想去哪個海灘?早點告訴我 -好啊 1145 00:56:38,666 --> 00:56:41,291 -讓我叫他們先掛上紅旗 -你真是神經病 1146 00:56:41,500 --> 00:56:43,958 妳看妳的頭,好像北獅那樣,悲哀啊 1147 00:56:44,333 --> 00:56:47,041 當初我娶妳都是因為妳樸素 1148 00:56:47,125 --> 00:56:50,083 現在妳變成了衣服的奴隸 化妝品的囚徒 1149 00:56:50,166 --> 00:56:51,875 姐姐,幫我搽 1150 00:56:51,958 --> 00:56:54,250 喂,小妹,小心一點! 裡面有一顆鑽石的 1151 00:56:54,333 --> 00:56:56,166 -要三千多塊一瓶 -老婆 1152 00:56:56,333 --> 00:56:58,958 人穿衣服是為了要禦寒 1153 00:56:59,041 --> 00:57:02,708 人的價值不是由衣服看出來的 1154 00:57:02,916 --> 00:57:05,916 做人要有內涵,講究內在美 1155 00:57:06,000 --> 00:57:07,958 國貨公司之所以能夠屹立不倒 1156 00:57:08,041 --> 00:57:09,916 因為它的東西又耐用又實用 1157 00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:12,708 喂,我們剛剛中了兩千多萬 1158 00:57:12,791 --> 00:57:14,416 難道把錢帶進棺材嗎? 1159 00:57:14,500 --> 00:57:16,125 真是婦人之見 1160 00:57:16,291 --> 00:57:18,250 我們家每個人都沒有收入 1161 00:57:18,375 --> 00:57:20,541 兩千萬只夠我們五個人吃來過日子 1162 00:57:20,625 --> 00:57:22,333 -爸爸… -所以這些錢不可以亂花 1163 00:57:22,416 --> 00:57:25,208 -爸爸… -整天追求享受,會迷失目己的 1164 00:57:25,291 --> 00:57:27,541 無所謂,反正我經常迷路 1165 00:57:27,625 --> 00:57:30,500 今天妳要買遊艇,明天妳要買郵船 1166 00:57:30,708 --> 00:57:32,958 今天說東遊,明天妳就“大話西遊” 1167 00:57:33,041 --> 00:57:34,708 -爸爸… -今天妳變北獅 1168 00:57:34,791 --> 00:57:36,208 明天妳就變河東獅 1169 00:57:36,291 --> 00:57:38,541 喂,老實說 剛才我已經看中了一間屋子 1170 00:57:38,625 --> 00:57:40,416 買屋子?我們這裡有什麼不好呢? 1171 00:57:40,500 --> 00:57:42,250 月租500塊,上哪裡找這樣的屋子? 真是的 1172 00:57:42,333 --> 00:57:44,083 喂,剛才我還挑了一輛賓士 1173 00:57:44,166 --> 00:57:47,291 買車容易,養車難,一闊三大 1174 00:57:47,375 --> 00:57:50,083 妳們聽著,我打算投資移民 1175 00:57:50,166 --> 00:57:53,250 爸,你說過為四個現代化而努力 1176 00:57:53,333 --> 00:57:54,416 妳懂什麼? 1177 00:57:54,500 --> 00:57:57,041 我們現在這麼富有 萬一將來被人清算怎麼辦? 1178 00:57:57,125 --> 00:57:58,250 君子不立危牆之下 1179 00:57:58,333 --> 00:58:01,583 -現在不走,還待何時?什麼? -喂,你這樣就不對了 1180 00:58:01,666 --> 00:58:03,416 想當初,我們每個人選一個號碼 1181 00:58:03,500 --> 00:58:05,000 這筆錢大家都有份花的 1182 00:58:05,083 --> 00:58:06,208 妳太善忘了 1183 00:58:06,291 --> 00:58:08,500 當初選號碼,我選了兩個 1184 00:58:08,583 --> 00:58:11,041 我是大股東,我有發言權 1185 00:58:11,125 --> 00:58:12,708 抉擇權、行使權 1186 00:58:12,791 --> 00:58:15,041 抗議!我們要民主 1187 00:58:15,125 --> 00:58:16,875 我們中國人不流行這一套 1188 00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:18,791 我們要自由 1189 00:58:18,875 --> 00:58:20,666 銀行的戶口沒錢,看妳怎麼自由? 1190 00:58:20,750 --> 00:58:24,250 -爸爸,你當是我欠你的吧 -我算過了 1191 00:58:24,375 --> 00:58:27,041 由小到大,妳欠我三十六萬八千元 1192 00:58:27,125 --> 00:58:28,125 -妳更多 -爸… 1193 00:58:28,250 --> 00:58:29,416 -還有妳 -我? 1194 00:58:29,500 --> 00:58:31,000 妳也欠我十三萬八千元 1195 00:58:31,666 --> 00:58:33,500 我會在妳們的股份裡扣除 1196 00:58:33,583 --> 00:58:34,541 從明天起 1197 00:58:34,625 --> 00:58:37,291 每人每天只有36塊錢可以花 1198 00:58:39,333 --> 00:58:41,666 -做又36… -不做又是36? 1199 00:59:17,625 --> 00:59:18,875 臭男人 1200 00:59:38,666 --> 00:59:39,708 神經病 1201 00:59:39,791 --> 00:59:41,166 瘋子 1202 01:00:05,875 --> 01:00:09,000 我難道不用走出來嗎? 你當我是什麼人啊?真是的 1203 01:00:09,083 --> 01:00:11,750 那東西放在哪了?跟你要… 1204 01:00:45,125 --> 01:00:46,000 老婆 1205 01:00:48,500 --> 01:00:49,375 老婆 1206 01:00:50,041 --> 01:00:50,875 老婆 1207 01:00:50,958 --> 01:00:52,416 老婆,還是妳最好 1208 01:00:52,708 --> 01:00:55,416 我當然好了,睡吧 1209 01:00:58,125 --> 01:01:00,791 去到那裡有許多汽水可以喝 就不用喝家裡的汽水了 1210 01:01:05,250 --> 01:01:06,958 這套西裝很漂亮 1211 01:01:08,666 --> 01:01:11,041 老馮,其實我們並沒有那麼風光 1212 01:01:11,125 --> 01:01:13,333 穿得這麼好看,其實只是徒有虛表 1213 01:01:13,416 --> 01:01:15,916 現在因為要去喝喜宴 所以只好打腫臉充胖子了 1214 01:01:16,000 --> 01:01:17,375 其實我們很窮 1215 01:01:17,583 --> 01:01:18,958 你千萬別誤會 1216 01:01:19,083 --> 01:01:20,083 走吧 1217 01:01:20,958 --> 01:01:22,083 -你知道就好了 -走吧 1218 01:01:22,166 --> 01:01:23,958 -不過鄰居知道了也不打緊 -走吧 1219 01:01:25,208 --> 01:01:26,791 他是不是要我還錢呢? 1220 01:01:27,208 --> 01:01:28,833 看,是游泳表演呢 1221 01:01:29,833 --> 01:01:31,833 -來,喝杯飲料吧 -謝謝 1222 01:01:34,666 --> 01:01:38,166 -我這兩個女兒學韻律泳才三個多月 -是嗎? 1223 01:01:38,458 --> 01:01:41,208 敎練就叫她們代表香港去比賽了 1224 01:01:41,500 --> 01:01:45,250 -是嗎? -他們這個游泳的動作叫做“龍蝦” 1225 01:01:45,541 --> 01:01:47,375 -你看看像不像? -很像 1226 01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:49,916 神經病,請我們來 1227 01:01:50,000 --> 01:01:52,000 連汽水也不請我們喝 1228 01:01:52,500 --> 01:01:54,291 何必這麼生氣呢? 1229 01:01:54,791 --> 01:01:57,875 我們現在是兩千萬富翁 他們只有幾百萬 1230 01:01:57,958 --> 01:01:59,791 大方一些,別跟他們計較 1231 01:01:59,875 --> 01:02:02,041 現在香港的物價真是嚇了我一跳 1232 01:02:02,375 --> 01:02:04,041 你這間別墅這麼貴 1233 01:02:04,333 --> 01:02:06,333 表哥,你這次真是大手筆了 1234 01:02:06,458 --> 01:02:08,875 一輩子裡有一半以上的時間 是要待在屋子裡的 1235 01:02:08,958 --> 01:02:11,125 住得不舒服,那不是對自己刻薄嗎? 1236 01:02:13,291 --> 01:02:14,208 大哥 1237 01:02:15,958 --> 01:02:16,916 小叔 1238 01:02:17,791 --> 01:02:19,833 約翰,上去跟你大哥敘敘舊吧 1239 01:02:19,916 --> 01:02:21,208 -來吧 -老公 1240 01:02:21,291 --> 01:02:23,291 -那是你的親弟弟 -老公… 1241 01:02:24,541 --> 01:02:27,083 原來大表哥、大表嫂,你們來了 1242 01:02:27,166 --> 01:02:29,291 你們坐在這裡,我都沒看到你們呢 1243 01:02:29,500 --> 01:02:33,208 妳那雙眼睛長得這麼高 怎麼會看到我們呢? 1244 01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:36,041 大哥、大嫂 1245 01:02:36,125 --> 01:02:39,500 -小叔 -難得今天有這麼多親友賞臉光臨 1246 01:02:39,583 --> 01:02:41,791 真的是“富在深山有遠親 1247 01:02:41,875 --> 01:02:44,166 窮在鬧市都無人過問” 1248 01:02:45,083 --> 01:02:46,833 幸好現在我們不是窮人了 1249 01:02:46,916 --> 01:02:50,041 大表嫂,妳這件旗袍真是漂亮 1250 01:02:50,291 --> 01:02:53,375 上兩次赴宴,好像都看妳穿過了 1251 01:02:53,541 --> 01:02:55,083 手工那麼好 1252 01:02:55,166 --> 01:02:58,083 難怪妳每次赴宴都穿這件旗袍 1253 01:02:58,333 --> 01:02:59,875 我打算這次是最後一次穿了 1254 01:02:59,958 --> 01:03:01,791 天氣一旦轉涼,我就會穿皮草了 1255 01:03:01,875 --> 01:03:03,083 這麼大手筆嗎? 1256 01:03:03,583 --> 01:03:06,125 如果不是的話 如何能襯得起我兩千萬的身家呢? 1257 01:03:06,291 --> 01:03:08,041 -兩千萬? -兩千萬? 1258 01:03:08,125 --> 01:03:11,166 -是的,我前兩天才中… -她前兩天才中風 1259 01:03:11,291 --> 01:03:12,833 現在有些語無倫次 1260 01:03:12,916 --> 01:03:15,000 -神經病,你才中風 -我們先去招呼客人 1261 01:03:15,125 --> 01:03:16,333 招呼不週,請見諒 1262 01:03:18,125 --> 01:03:20,416 媽媽,這裡的游泳池很大 1263 01:03:20,500 --> 01:03:23,291 不用羨慕,將來我們的游泳池更大 1264 01:03:23,375 --> 01:03:24,833 是她說的,我沒有說過 1265 01:03:26,083 --> 01:03:27,958 -快叫六叔吧 -六叔 1266 01:03:29,458 --> 01:03:30,666 是最小的女兒嗎? 1267 01:03:31,333 --> 01:03:33,875 好久沒見了,有空來聚一聚 1268 01:03:34,291 --> 01:03:37,166 算是替你洗塵,老公,好嗎? 1269 01:03:39,708 --> 01:03:42,333 不如明天我請你們全家出去吃飯吧? 1270 01:03:43,250 --> 01:03:44,708 出去吃就不必了 1271 01:03:46,208 --> 01:03:47,750 明晚來我家吃飯吧 1272 01:03:49,041 --> 01:03:51,625 好,那我明天來打擾你們了 1273 01:03:52,166 --> 01:03:54,916 -不打擾,最重要是你一定得到 -早點到啊 1274 01:03:58,250 --> 01:04:00,333 -玉置浩二 -玉置浩二 1275 01:04:01,250 --> 01:04:02,791 喂,不夠大聲 1276 01:04:04,500 --> 01:04:06,666 喂,小聲一點 1277 01:04:14,583 --> 01:04:16,041 妳的電視機怎麼那麼差? 1278 01:04:16,125 --> 01:04:18,250 -我搭計程車回家看吧 -我也要去 1279 01:04:18,916 --> 01:04:20,375 -真是老土 -喂,去日本的那件事 1280 01:04:20,458 --> 01:04:22,958 -趕快說服妳的爸爸 -否則我們不等妳了 1281 01:04:27,541 --> 01:04:28,750 再見,小弟弟 1282 01:04:35,750 --> 01:04:37,375 小聲一點,八婆! 1283 01:04:41,500 --> 01:04:43,208 妳再不把音響關掉 我就炸了妳的房子 1284 01:05:31,333 --> 01:05:34,000 你轉了性子嗎? 真的請弟弟回來吃飯嗎? 1285 01:05:34,208 --> 01:05:36,541 對啊,而且要準備好東西給他享用 1286 01:05:36,625 --> 01:05:37,916 走開! 1287 01:05:39,541 --> 01:05:41,375 -女兒,怎麼了? -米亞 1288 01:05:41,541 --> 01:05:43,291 -不是說去看電影嗎? -都是他的錯 1289 01:05:43,375 --> 01:05:45,708 剛才買票的時候 他目不轉睛地盯著售票員看 1290 01:05:45,791 --> 01:05:47,875 喂,你真是色! 1291 01:05:47,958 --> 01:05:48,875 不是的 1292 01:05:49,041 --> 01:05:50,666 我只是盯著她的痣看 1293 01:05:50,750 --> 01:05:52,458 最近我在研究相學 1294 01:05:52,541 --> 01:05:55,208 書裡面說人的痣長在不同部位 1295 01:05:55,291 --> 01:05:57,041 就有不同的人生啟示 1296 01:05:57,125 --> 01:05:59,166 那你為什麼盯著她的胸部看呢? 1297 01:05:59,375 --> 01:06:02,791 -因為她的胸口有兩顆痣 -每個人胸口都有兩顆痣 1298 01:06:02,875 --> 01:06:04,166 但是她那兩顆特別大 1299 01:06:04,250 --> 01:06:05,750 這種相就叫做胸懷大志 1300 01:06:05,833 --> 01:06:07,541 喂,你很好色! 1301 01:06:07,708 --> 01:06:11,166 不是好色,那名售票員是一個男人 1302 01:06:12,500 --> 01:06:14,291 你很像同性戀啊 1303 01:06:14,875 --> 01:06:15,875 是男人嗎? 1304 01:06:16,625 --> 01:06:17,500 怎麼我不知道呢? 1305 01:06:17,583 --> 01:06:19,083 笑口棗,讓我來訪問你 1306 01:06:19,250 --> 01:06:20,833 你究竟喜歡男人還是女人? 1307 01:06:20,916 --> 01:06:23,041 -當然是女人了 -有什麼證據呢? 1308 01:06:23,291 --> 01:06:25,375 我喜歡米亞 1309 01:06:25,916 --> 01:06:28,041 -我喜歡你的女兒啊 -非禮! 1310 01:06:29,375 --> 01:06:30,458 你這個色情狂 1311 01:06:30,541 --> 01:06:32,958 你這個油脂仔以後不准來找我女兒 1312 01:06:33,041 --> 01:06:33,875 女兒 1313 01:06:33,958 --> 01:06:36,166 選男朋友呢,有錢沒錢都無所謂 1314 01:06:36,250 --> 01:06:38,208 最緊要是他疼妳,對妳好 1315 01:06:38,291 --> 01:06:39,791 這種男人啊,送給我都不要 1316 01:06:39,875 --> 01:06:41,083 米亞! 1317 01:06:58,375 --> 01:07:00,833 -歡迎大家收看《動物奇觀》 -男人真是卑鄙 1318 01:07:05,333 --> 01:07:07,416 這部電視機應該送去解剖了 1319 01:07:08,416 --> 01:07:09,791 (入、入、出、影、音) 1320 01:07:09,916 --> 01:07:10,750 聲音 1321 01:07:15,416 --> 01:07:16,458 神經病 1322 01:07:16,541 --> 01:07:17,375 畫面 1323 01:07:17,458 --> 01:07:20,458 這個就是非洲的狒狒 雖然它只有幾個月大 1324 01:07:20,541 --> 01:07:22,041 你看看它多可愛呢 1325 01:07:22,750 --> 01:07:24,666 全部開啟,這次你肯定完蛋了 1326 01:07:28,041 --> 01:07:29,791 為什麼老二會上電視呢? 1327 01:07:34,083 --> 01:07:35,125 為什麼會這樣? 1328 01:07:36,166 --> 01:07:37,708 這個歌星怎麼那麼面熟呢? 1329 01:07:37,791 --> 01:07:39,291 驃叔的女兒上電視了 1330 01:07:39,833 --> 01:07:41,125 該死 1331 01:07:43,208 --> 01:07:44,708 看完了非洲的狒狒 1332 01:07:44,791 --> 01:07:46,958 下次的《動物奇觀》會帶大家去看 1333 01:07:47,041 --> 01:07:48,541 丹麥的金絲貓 1334 01:07:53,208 --> 01:07:54,916 真是老土 1335 01:07:56,500 --> 01:07:57,375 怎麼會這樣? 1336 01:07:57,583 --> 01:07:59,791 -我不知道 -話別的一剎那 1337 01:07:59,875 --> 01:08:01,958 -始終要說 -大情聖駕到! 1338 01:08:02,041 --> 01:08:06,583 我心底裡心底裡的一句 1339 01:08:06,666 --> 01:08:08,708 愛情… 1340 01:08:08,791 --> 01:08:09,666 真該死 1341 01:08:09,750 --> 01:08:11,416 愛情… 1342 01:08:11,583 --> 01:08:12,833 摸什麼呢? 1343 01:08:12,916 --> 01:08:14,708 -難聽死了,死人 -深深愛妳 1344 01:08:15,083 --> 01:08:16,708 心中愛妳 1345 01:08:16,791 --> 01:08:20,291 不管妳要說再回 1346 01:08:20,375 --> 01:08:22,333 -愛情… -趕快摸牌吧 1347 01:08:22,666 --> 01:08:24,875 愛情… 1348 01:08:25,458 --> 01:08:26,458 自摸! 1349 01:08:26,666 --> 01:08:29,166 -自摸了 -唱什麼?真倒霉 1350 01:08:29,250 --> 01:08:31,375 -深深愛妳,心中愛妳 -死油脂仔! 1351 01:08:31,458 --> 01:08:33,458 -我跟你絕交,你去死吧! -不管妳… 1352 01:08:33,583 --> 01:08:35,833 -要說再回 -幹嘛死?他還很有利用價值呢 1353 01:08:36,416 --> 01:08:38,208 愛情… 1354 01:08:38,291 --> 01:08:40,041 笑口棗,摸什麼呢? 1355 01:08:40,791 --> 01:08:43,000 -你是不是很喜歡我的女兒? -當然喜歡了 1356 01:08:43,333 --> 01:08:44,791 去別邊拍吧 1357 01:08:46,583 --> 01:08:48,916 -你得答應我去辦一件事 -答應你? 1358 01:08:49,375 --> 01:08:50,625 我喜歡的不是你 1359 01:08:50,708 --> 01:08:53,333 你喜歡我的女兒 那你要不要過我這一關呢? 1360 01:08:53,958 --> 01:08:55,708 要的…伯父,你說吧 1361 01:08:55,916 --> 01:08:57,291 那你明天有空嗎? 1362 01:08:57,625 --> 01:08:58,666 很難說呢 1363 01:08:58,750 --> 01:09:01,583 如果下午有事要辦,我上午就有空 1364 01:09:01,666 --> 01:09:04,000 如果上午有事要辦,我下午就有空 1365 01:09:04,083 --> 01:09:06,750 如果上下午有事要辦 我就晚上才有空 1366 01:09:06,833 --> 01:09:09,000 -那你明天有事要辦嗎? -明天是星期天 1367 01:09:09,083 --> 01:09:10,416 一整天都有空 1368 01:09:11,041 --> 01:09:13,083 那你拿紙筆出來先記下 1369 01:09:14,166 --> 01:09:16,833 明天先去借一套糕餅店送貨員的制服 1370 01:09:16,916 --> 01:09:19,333 -然後替我送個蛋糕 -要不要打領帶呢? 1371 01:09:19,625 --> 01:09:21,833 -是否有打領帶都沒關係 -有關係 1372 01:09:21,916 --> 01:09:24,166 打領帶,穿得整齊一點,會收到小費 1373 01:09:24,250 --> 01:09:27,208 你不會收到小費的 你去買一個奶油蛋糕 1374 01:09:27,375 --> 01:09:29,708 -要不要寫“生日快樂”? -什麼都不用寫 1375 01:09:29,791 --> 01:09:31,041 最重要的是多放一些奶油 1376 01:09:31,125 --> 01:09:33,458 不打領帶,沒有小費 1377 01:09:33,583 --> 01:09:35,250 多放一些奶油 1378 01:09:35,333 --> 01:09:37,458 到時候把蛋糕送上來我家 1379 01:09:37,541 --> 01:09:39,375 送上來我家 1380 01:09:39,583 --> 01:09:41,666 -是我家 -就是我家嘛 1381 01:09:41,958 --> 01:09:43,375 好吧,就寫你家吧 1382 01:09:43,583 --> 01:09:45,000 就寫你家吧 1383 01:09:45,541 --> 01:09:46,958 認住這個人 1384 01:09:47,166 --> 01:09:50,250 —見到他 就迎面把蛋糕蓋到他的臉上 1385 01:09:50,958 --> 01:09:52,291 這下過癮了 1386 01:09:52,833 --> 01:09:54,458 難怪沒有小費 1387 01:09:57,750 --> 01:09:59,416 這個機會等了十年 1388 01:10:01,166 --> 01:10:02,041 大哥 1389 01:10:05,000 --> 01:10:06,625 你以為還是以前嗎? 1390 01:10:06,708 --> 01:10:08,458 -小叔 -來弟,來吧 1391 01:10:08,541 --> 01:10:10,750 -叫小叔,這個是我的二女兒 -小叔 1392 01:10:10,833 --> 01:10:12,375 那個是我的大女兒帶弟 1393 01:10:14,083 --> 01:10:15,291 六叔 1394 01:10:16,000 --> 01:10:16,958 她幹什麼? 1395 01:10:17,041 --> 01:10:20,041 她跟男朋友吵架 成天哭哭啼啼的,真是丟臉 1396 01:10:20,125 --> 01:10:21,375 -小叔 -乖 1397 01:10:21,458 --> 01:10:22,541 這些禮物是送給你們的 1398 01:10:22,625 --> 01:10:23,875 -謝謝小叔 -快道謝吧 1399 01:10:23,958 --> 01:10:25,666 喂,小心裡面裝了死老鼠 1400 01:10:26,125 --> 01:10:27,833 你還記得這些醜事? 1401 01:10:28,250 --> 01:10:29,625 當然記得了 1402 01:10:29,708 --> 01:10:32,958 跟你一起長大,我簡直是忍辱偷生 1403 01:10:33,041 --> 01:10:34,500 老公,別這樣 1404 01:10:35,375 --> 01:10:38,541 大哥,我為以前的事向你道歉 1405 01:10:39,041 --> 01:10:40,750 你從來都不肯向人道歉的 1406 01:10:40,833 --> 01:10:43,416 我今天一定要說,因為… 1407 01:10:43,791 --> 01:10:45,166 我時日無多 1408 01:10:45,833 --> 01:10:47,208 就快不久於人世 1409 01:10:47,625 --> 01:10:49,500 又不知耍什麼花樣來作弄我們了 1410 01:10:49,916 --> 01:10:51,208 我這次是說真的 1411 01:10:52,500 --> 01:10:53,791 我患了腳癌 1412 01:10:54,833 --> 01:10:56,458 醫生說我只剩下幾個月的命 1413 01:10:58,583 --> 01:10:59,875 你們是我最親的人 1414 01:11:00,375 --> 01:11:02,458 所以今晚一定要告訴你們兩個 1415 01:11:03,041 --> 01:11:04,750 好啊!太棒了! 1416 01:11:04,833 --> 01:11:06,666 我真高興! 1417 01:11:09,875 --> 01:11:12,625 真可憐,那麼年輕而且還沒娶老婆 1418 01:11:13,666 --> 01:11:15,583 我一直都當他是仇人 1419 01:11:15,750 --> 01:11:17,458 不曾好好地待他 1420 01:11:17,916 --> 01:11:19,833 這次見面,可能是最後一次 1421 01:11:22,125 --> 01:11:23,958 忍住,不要哭出來 1422 01:11:24,041 --> 01:11:25,500 我忍不住 1423 01:11:29,958 --> 01:11:32,500 -帶弟,妳吃不吃得下飯? -約翰,我們吃飯吧,坐吧 1424 01:11:32,583 --> 01:11:34,625 -幸好沒煮妳的份 -一起坐吧 1425 01:11:34,708 --> 01:11:36,291 來弟,妳去看看湯煲好了嗎? 1426 01:11:38,125 --> 01:11:39,000 (米亞) 1427 01:11:40,666 --> 01:11:41,958 -吃飯吧,小叔 -好的 1428 01:11:43,958 --> 01:11:46,625 大哥、大嫂,你們有沒有打算 買屋子和買車呢? 1429 01:11:46,708 --> 01:11:48,625 有…你有什麼門路呢? 1430 01:11:49,000 --> 01:11:52,166 我在恒豐銀行做了十幾年 還剩很多優惠配額 1431 01:11:52,250 --> 01:11:53,458 我可以全給你們 1432 01:11:53,541 --> 01:11:56,416 那麼買車和買屋子的利息 會算得非常低 1433 01:11:57,208 --> 01:11:59,625 希望大哥、大嫂能夠接受我這份心意 1434 01:11:59,875 --> 01:12:02,125 -喝碗雞腳湯,以形補形 -好啊 1435 01:12:03,250 --> 01:12:04,375 趕快坐下吧 1436 01:12:04,791 --> 01:12:05,958 吃飯吧 1437 01:12:12,250 --> 01:12:14,000 你們怎麼吃飯吃得這麼悶? 1438 01:12:14,375 --> 01:12:16,916 我來說個笑話給你們聽吧,很好笑的 1439 01:12:17,125 --> 01:12:18,083 好啊 1440 01:12:18,166 --> 01:12:21,208 從前有個傻子,他左腳患了癌症 1441 01:12:22,208 --> 01:12:23,458 這是笑話嗎? 1442 01:12:23,708 --> 01:12:25,208 很好笑的 1443 01:12:25,583 --> 01:12:28,625 那個病人去醫院做手術 切了一隻左腳 1444 01:12:28,708 --> 01:12:30,041 手術之後 1445 01:12:30,208 --> 01:12:31,500 病人一醒來 1446 01:12:31,583 --> 01:12:33,625 見到醫生愁眉苦臉地對著他說 1447 01:12:33,708 --> 01:12:36,583 那個醫生說:“我有一個好消息 一個壞消息 1448 01:12:36,750 --> 01:12:38,166 你想先聽哪個?” 1449 01:12:38,250 --> 01:12:41,958 病人就說:“先說個壞消息來聽吧” 1450 01:12:42,041 --> 01:12:44,125 醫生說:“壞消息就是 1451 01:12:44,208 --> 01:12:46,416 我切錯了你的右腳” 1452 01:12:49,750 --> 01:12:50,916 那好消息呢? 1453 01:12:51,916 --> 01:12:55,500 醫生說:“好消息就是 你左腳沒有患癌” 1454 01:13:00,958 --> 01:13:02,750 -進來幫我倒醬油 -跟我去拿醬油碟 1455 01:13:02,833 --> 01:13:05,291 -倒醬油而已,哪需要四個人去呢? -你先坐坐 1456 01:13:05,541 --> 01:13:07,291 我告訴妳,別亂說話 1457 01:13:07,375 --> 01:13:08,916 我們今晚要好好地對待他 1458 01:13:09,000 --> 01:13:11,000 不止今晚,以後也是這樣 1459 01:13:12,666 --> 01:13:13,625 讓我去開門吧 1460 01:13:16,166 --> 01:13:17,041 你找哪位? 1461 01:13:19,208 --> 01:13:20,958 -找你 -笑口棗,不要! 1462 01:13:25,458 --> 01:13:26,750 是他了… 1463 01:13:26,833 --> 01:13:28,250 真過癮! 1464 01:13:35,500 --> 01:13:38,208 開這樣的車出門 感覺自己高人一等了 1465 01:13:38,291 --> 01:13:40,375 不用你自己開,當然是請司機來開了 1466 01:13:40,458 --> 01:13:41,916 豈不是一闊三大嗎? 1467 01:13:42,000 --> 01:13:43,666 用我的優惠配額去買 1468 01:13:43,750 --> 01:13:46,083 這輛車便宜一半,車價也值回了 1469 01:13:46,166 --> 01:13:49,541 老公,如果請了司機 我們的頭就能抬得更高了 1470 01:13:50,500 --> 01:13:52,750 媽媽,這裡的游泳池更大 1471 01:13:52,833 --> 01:13:54,375 我很喜歡 1472 01:13:55,291 --> 01:13:56,541 當然大了 1473 01:13:57,375 --> 01:14:00,208 買了車和房子,只剩下一千多萬了 1474 01:14:00,291 --> 01:14:02,833 最好存在我的銀行裡 我替你做外幣存款 1475 01:14:02,916 --> 01:14:04,250 算你18厘利息 1476 01:14:04,458 --> 01:14:07,083 老公,光收利息一年也有一百多萬 1477 01:14:07,166 --> 01:14:08,375 吃都吃不完 1478 01:14:08,708 --> 01:14:10,291 我還可以替你把錢看管好 1479 01:14:10,375 --> 01:14:12,416 哪種外幣升值,我就你幫你買哪種 1480 01:14:13,916 --> 01:14:16,125 發財了,老婆,錢會生錢 1481 01:14:16,791 --> 01:14:19,083 只可惜我無法替你看管多少時間了 1482 01:14:23,791 --> 01:14:26,041 別搖,人搖福薄 1483 01:14:26,125 --> 01:14:27,958 搖著搖著便會窮了 1484 01:14:28,583 --> 01:14:29,583 老頑固 1485 01:14:30,416 --> 01:14:31,291 來弟 1486 01:14:32,375 --> 01:14:34,250 當我知道目己患了腳癌 1487 01:14:34,625 --> 01:14:36,208 就快不久於人世 1488 01:14:36,875 --> 01:14:38,625 我就很想拍一套宣傳片 1489 01:14:39,375 --> 01:14:41,083 告訴我的親朋戚友 1490 01:14:42,416 --> 01:14:43,583 不要搖腳 1491 01:14:44,750 --> 01:14:45,791 無論如何 1492 01:14:46,958 --> 01:14:48,583 千萬不要搖腳 1493 01:14:49,333 --> 01:14:50,958 如果當初我沒有搖腳 1494 01:14:51,291 --> 01:14:53,000 現在我根本不會坐在這裡 1495 01:14:53,625 --> 01:14:55,958 告訴你們關於我患腳癌的事 1496 01:14:56,541 --> 01:14:59,583 別傷心了,小叔,得失是注定的 1497 01:14:59,916 --> 01:15:01,583 生命跟金錢一樣 1498 01:15:01,791 --> 01:15:04,333 有就有,沒有就沒有,這是天意 1499 01:15:05,875 --> 01:15:07,833 原來你們真的來看新房子 1500 01:15:08,416 --> 01:15:10,291 我還以為你騙我 1501 01:15:10,375 --> 01:15:12,958 這間屋真漂亮,一定有我住的份吧 1502 01:15:13,541 --> 01:15:14,958 -妳的姐姐呢? -進去屋子了 1503 01:15:16,916 --> 01:15:17,916 -不准進去 -為什麼? 1504 01:15:18,000 --> 01:15:20,250 這間屋子,你有資格進去嗎? 你是什麼身分? 1505 01:15:21,083 --> 01:15:23,416 -小便總可以吧? -可以 1506 01:15:23,500 --> 01:15:25,083 園丁的房裡有廁所 1507 01:15:31,083 --> 01:15:32,416 叔叔,哪裡可以小便呢? 1508 01:15:32,500 --> 01:15:33,541 -裡面 -謝謝 1509 01:15:33,916 --> 01:15:36,166 這種年輕小伙子 我肯定他不會有出息 1510 01:15:36,250 --> 01:15:38,791 -是不是笑口棗來了? -是的,去了廁所 1511 01:15:42,916 --> 01:15:45,166 妳看妳的朋友,多麼丟人 1512 01:15:51,333 --> 01:15:52,333 厠所很大呢 1513 01:15:52,458 --> 01:15:53,958 -你沒拉褲鍊 -是喔 1514 01:15:57,875 --> 01:15:59,958 米亞! 1515 01:16:02,000 --> 01:16:03,750 你怎麼可以這樣小便呢? 1516 01:16:04,125 --> 01:16:06,541 -小便只有一個辦法 -你真是個露體狂! 1517 01:16:07,166 --> 01:16:08,750 不露體怎麼小便呢? 1518 01:16:08,833 --> 01:16:10,541 難道隔著褲子小便嗎? 1519 01:16:10,625 --> 01:16:12,291 你走,你下流! 1520 01:16:12,375 --> 01:16:13,666 小便都算下流嗎? 1521 01:16:15,375 --> 01:16:17,166 你下流…妳下流… 1522 01:16:25,875 --> 01:16:27,208 去死吧! 1523 01:16:28,041 --> 01:16:30,625 原來你不止是露體狂,還是個色情狂 1524 01:16:30,708 --> 01:16:31,833 妳誤會了 1525 01:16:32,250 --> 01:16:33,166 你啊! 1526 01:16:33,541 --> 01:16:36,250 你追我的女兒就是貪我的家產 你以為我不知道嗎? 1527 01:16:37,708 --> 01:16:40,458 女兒,愛情是不可以當麵包吃的 1528 01:16:40,541 --> 01:16:42,708 選男朋友最重要是門當戶對 1529 01:16:42,791 --> 01:16:45,875 有些男人對妳好,疼妳 只是想吃軟飯 1530 01:16:45,958 --> 01:16:47,041 是的…上車吧 1531 01:16:51,375 --> 01:16:53,833 米亞! 1532 01:16:57,291 --> 01:16:59,208 只是中了一千九百萬的六合彩 1533 01:16:59,833 --> 01:17:00,958 很威風嗎? 1534 01:17:01,083 --> 01:17:02,291 誰中了六合彩? 1535 01:17:03,125 --> 01:17:05,416 -不告訴你 -來,多喝一杯… 1536 01:17:05,500 --> 01:17:08,166 -喂…大佬… -來了… 1537 01:17:08,250 --> 01:17:09,291 請你喝的 1538 01:17:09,458 --> 01:17:11,666 -來… -生啤酒 1539 01:17:12,541 --> 01:17:14,833 豬眼看人低 1540 01:17:15,166 --> 01:17:17,875 有朝一日我笑口棗發了財 1541 01:17:17,958 --> 01:17:19,750 看我配不配得上你的女兒 1542 01:17:22,416 --> 01:17:23,666 來,先喝一杯… 1543 01:17:25,083 --> 01:17:27,583 -你的女朋友中了六合彩嗎? -媽媽米亞 1544 01:17:27,666 --> 01:17:30,041 -什麼? -媽媽米亞中獎了 1545 01:17:32,333 --> 01:17:34,416 媽媽米亞沒有天理 1546 01:17:37,625 --> 01:17:39,375 喂,大佬,有機會了 1547 01:17:39,708 --> 01:17:40,875 對她媽媽做壞事 1548 01:17:40,958 --> 01:17:41,833 對! 1549 01:17:42,041 --> 01:17:44,125 對她媽媽做壞事! 1550 01:17:49,666 --> 01:17:51,291 是那個了… 1551 01:17:54,500 --> 01:17:57,000 不行了,回去吧,計劃臨時取消 1552 01:17:57,083 --> 01:17:58,500 什麼事呢? 1553 01:17:58,583 --> 01:18:00,166 那個小妹認得我 1554 01:18:01,416 --> 01:18:02,291 也對 1555 01:18:03,833 --> 01:18:05,583 喂,開過去拿兩對絲襪 1556 01:18:09,000 --> 01:18:10,708 喂,穿上這個 1557 01:18:10,958 --> 01:18:12,250 真聰明 1558 01:18:12,875 --> 01:18:14,708 哎啊…不行…尺寸不對 1559 01:18:14,791 --> 01:18:16,708 這對絲襪二號,我穿的是四號 1560 01:18:17,375 --> 01:18:19,416 -只是叫你把絲襪罩在頭上 -也對 1561 01:18:19,666 --> 01:18:21,125 -再見 -再見 1562 01:18:24,833 --> 01:18:27,125 歐洲尺碼二號也適合我 1563 01:18:27,375 --> 01:18:30,041 -我們這對絲襪不合尺寸 -喂…那個小妹要走了 1564 01:18:30,166 --> 01:18:31,166 -巧克力嗎? -對 1565 01:18:31,250 --> 01:18:32,208 去吧 1566 01:18:39,083 --> 01:18:40,208 這邊 1567 01:18:40,291 --> 01:18:42,083 -這邊 -喂,門上鎖了! 1568 01:18:45,958 --> 01:18:46,958 救命! 1569 01:18:47,375 --> 01:18:48,916 救命啊! 1570 01:18:49,416 --> 01:18:51,916 -救命啊! -這邊… 1571 01:18:52,000 --> 01:18:54,958 救命啊! 1572 01:18:55,333 --> 01:18:56,833 救命啊! 1573 01:18:56,916 --> 01:18:59,833 -救命啊! -我抓到了,快來幫忙吧! 1574 01:18:59,916 --> 01:19:03,333 救命啊! 1575 01:19:03,583 --> 01:19:05,250 快點… 1576 01:19:05,958 --> 01:19:08,750 救命啊! 1577 01:19:17,166 --> 01:19:19,250 來弟,妳的行李收拾得怎麼樣了? 1578 01:19:19,333 --> 01:19:21,333 不用收拾了,帶多幾個空皮箱 1579 01:19:21,416 --> 01:19:23,083 再帶多幾張信用卡就行了 1580 01:19:23,208 --> 01:19:25,583 這次去,想買什麼就買什麼 1581 01:19:25,791 --> 01:19:28,166 不要弄得吝吝嗇嗇,小小氣氣地 1582 01:19:28,250 --> 01:19:30,125 爸爸,過來看這部新電視機 1583 01:19:30,208 --> 01:19:32,250 -立體聲的 -剛剛在記者招待會證實 1584 01:19:32,375 --> 01:19:34,291 -有19年歷史的恒豐銀行 -調大聲點 1585 01:19:34,375 --> 01:19:35,583 己經宣佈破產 1586 01:19:35,666 --> 01:19:36,958 -是哪間? -銀行界人士初步估計 1587 01:19:37,041 --> 01:19:39,000 -好像是我們存錢的那間恒豐銀行 -牽涉到債項… 1588 01:19:39,083 --> 01:19:40,625 達到三百億港元 1589 01:19:40,791 --> 01:19:43,875 這次恒豐銀行倒閉是自從1985年以來 1590 01:19:44,041 --> 01:19:46,875 繼多間銀行出現 財政問題以後的第九宗 1591 01:19:46,958 --> 01:19:49,708 大哥、大嫂,我有一個好消息 以及一個壞消息 1592 01:19:49,791 --> 01:19:52,458 -你們想先聽哪一個? -那你先說好消息來聽吧 1593 01:19:52,750 --> 01:19:54,958 好消息就是我的腳沒有患上癌症 1594 01:19:55,041 --> 01:19:56,333 是醫生證實的 1595 01:19:56,458 --> 01:19:57,833 那壞消息呢? 1596 01:19:58,958 --> 01:20:02,083 壞消息就是你們的一千九百萬沒有了 1597 01:20:05,625 --> 01:20:07,875 -大嫂! -妳怎麼了?老婆,妳別嚇我 1598 01:20:07,958 --> 01:20:09,083 妳別那麼傷心了 1599 01:20:09,291 --> 01:20:10,958 是妳說過的:“得失是注定的 1600 01:20:11,041 --> 01:20:12,458 金錢跟生命一樣 1601 01:20:12,541 --> 01:20:14,625 妳有就有,沒有就沒有 1602 01:20:15,041 --> 01:20:16,250 這些都是天意” 1603 01:20:16,333 --> 01:20:17,666 你還在這說這種風涼話? 1604 01:20:17,750 --> 01:20:19,375 -你害死我們了! -大哥! 1605 01:20:19,458 --> 01:20:21,833 我也是受害者,我現在失業了 1606 01:20:21,916 --> 01:20:24,000 你賠回一千九百萬給我! 1607 01:20:28,166 --> 01:20:29,500 賠錢! 1608 01:20:32,500 --> 01:20:33,375 爸爸 1609 01:20:35,833 --> 01:20:38,958 -賠錢! -給回一千九百萬! 1610 01:20:39,041 --> 01:20:40,875 -開演! -我跟你拼命 1611 01:20:40,958 --> 01:20:42,916 -冷靜一點,強過史泰龍! -你去死吧! 1612 01:20:44,083 --> 01:20:46,166 我掐死你! 1613 01:20:46,250 --> 01:20:48,625 -冷靜一點,強過史泰龍! -我掐死你! 1614 01:20:49,833 --> 01:20:52,333 -我掐死你! -你別這樣 1615 01:20:53,291 --> 01:20:56,958 我掐死你! 1616 01:20:57,041 --> 01:20:58,958 -賠錢! -把我的錢給回我! 1617 01:20:59,083 --> 01:21:01,041 -喂? -一千九百萬啊! 1618 01:21:01,125 --> 01:21:03,333 把錢給回我們! 1619 01:21:03,416 --> 01:21:04,666 把錢給回我們! 1620 01:21:04,750 --> 01:21:05,791 綁架? 1621 01:21:06,291 --> 01:21:07,541 喂,你們別打了! 1622 01:21:07,625 --> 01:21:10,583 小妹被人抓了!被人綁架! 1623 01:21:11,250 --> 01:21:13,583 不是開玩笑,誰有空跟你們玩呢? 1624 01:21:14,083 --> 01:21:15,833 誰有空跟你開玩笑呢?你聽聽 1625 01:21:17,041 --> 01:21:17,958 爸爸,救我 1626 01:21:18,083 --> 01:21:20,083 雖然你不疼我,但是我會養你一輩子 1627 01:21:20,166 --> 01:21:21,916 你別讓我死掉 1628 01:21:22,083 --> 01:21:24,833 聽清楚了嗎?我們要一千九百萬贖金 1629 01:21:24,916 --> 01:21:27,375 開玩笑嗎?我們住廉租屋而已 1630 01:21:28,125 --> 01:21:29,791 你又說中了六合彩? 1631 01:21:29,875 --> 01:21:32,583 沒有了,你們沒看電視新聞嗎? 1632 01:21:32,666 --> 01:21:34,416 整間恒豐銀行都倒閉了 1633 01:21:34,500 --> 01:21:35,375 是嗎? 1634 01:21:35,458 --> 01:21:37,250 開電視… 1635 01:21:39,041 --> 01:21:41,000 驃叔,你最會裝窮了 1636 01:21:41,083 --> 01:21:42,875 不是裝,是真的窮 1637 01:21:42,958 --> 01:21:45,500 別假惺惺了,趕快準備錢 1638 01:21:45,583 --> 01:21:47,208 如果報警的話,我就殺了你的女兒 1639 01:21:47,666 --> 01:21:48,958 大哥,報警 1640 01:21:49,583 --> 01:21:51,958 不行,報警的話,他們會撕票 1641 01:21:52,083 --> 01:21:53,958 關你什麼事?走! 1642 01:21:59,500 --> 01:22:01,291 喂,那現在怎麼辦? 1643 01:22:02,041 --> 01:22:04,166 有老鼠咬我,我很害怕! 1644 01:22:04,250 --> 01:22:06,333 看來這件事好像越來越嚴重了 1645 01:22:07,125 --> 01:22:09,958 哪裡止“好像”?簡直是超嚴重了 1646 01:22:10,041 --> 01:22:11,458 全靠棗哥你 1647 01:22:11,541 --> 01:22:14,416 親自策劃,親自處理,親自行動 1648 01:22:14,500 --> 01:22:16,041 其實我只是想嚇嚇那個肥婆 1649 01:22:16,375 --> 01:22:18,333 豈知一時衝動,弄出這麼大件事情 1650 01:22:18,416 --> 01:22:20,916 這就對了,美國當年投下原子彈 1651 01:22:21,000 --> 01:22:23,833 也是一時衝動 現在全世界都說他們是對的 1652 01:22:23,916 --> 01:22:26,125 -他們做得好 -不如把她放了吧? 1653 01:22:26,208 --> 01:22:28,250 把她放了?你真是人頭豬腦 1654 01:22:28,541 --> 01:22:29,708 -你瘋了嗎? -真是豬頭 1655 01:22:29,791 --> 01:22:31,958 現在把人放了,是綁架 1656 01:22:32,125 --> 01:22:34,666 收了一千九百萬才放人,也是綁架 1657 01:22:34,750 --> 01:22:37,500 當然是收了錢才放人嘛,傻子 1658 01:22:38,833 --> 01:22:39,791 我不玩了 1659 01:22:43,166 --> 01:22:44,666 現在大家都已經濕了頭 1660 01:22:44,750 --> 01:22:46,458 你是否要繼續玩下去都一樣那麼大罪 1661 01:22:46,708 --> 01:22:48,416 趁他們現在還沒發現你 1662 01:22:48,500 --> 01:22:50,208 你去他的家當臥底 1663 01:22:50,291 --> 01:22:52,916 如果他去報警的話 你就回來通風報信 1664 01:22:54,833 --> 01:22:58,250 -那我先去洗頭吧 -去吧,去把頭髮弄濕吧 1665 01:22:59,958 --> 01:23:01,208 笑口棗 1666 01:23:01,500 --> 01:23:04,416 你知不知道我的小女兒被綁架了? 1667 01:23:04,958 --> 01:23:06,791 那你知不知道是誰做的? 1668 01:23:07,500 --> 01:23:09,250 我怎麼會知道呢? 1669 01:23:09,375 --> 01:23:10,458 這樣還好一些 1670 01:23:10,791 --> 01:23:12,750 都是你的錯! 1671 01:23:13,708 --> 01:23:15,916 為什麼要搞外幣存款? 兩千萬就這樣沒了 1672 01:23:16,000 --> 01:23:17,875 是兩千萬啊! 1673 01:23:18,500 --> 01:23:20,583 現在凡事都可以拿“假如”來說 1674 01:23:20,750 --> 01:23:23,125 -就當我們不曾中獎好了 -什麼“假如”? 1675 01:23:23,208 --> 01:23:26,500 -我們根本就是中獎了 -對啊,那妳也曾經擁有兩千萬嘛 1676 01:23:26,583 --> 01:23:28,375 妳看看左鄰右舍 有誰曾擁有兩千萬呢? 1677 01:23:28,458 --> 01:23:29,958 現在不是談錢的時候 1678 01:23:30,041 --> 01:23:31,416 是想辦法怎樣救女兒 1679 01:23:31,583 --> 01:23:33,958 那你去賺錢吧!沒錢怎麼救女兒呢? 1680 01:23:36,833 --> 01:23:38,333 我把機票退了 1681 01:23:38,625 --> 01:23:41,208 還有我從小到大存起來的紅包錢 全在這裡了 1682 01:23:41,958 --> 01:23:42,916 來弟 1683 01:23:43,333 --> 01:23:44,958 夠不夠錢贖妹妹呢? 1684 01:23:45,708 --> 01:23:48,041 -傻孩子,妳真懂事 -來弟 1685 01:23:49,875 --> 01:23:51,541 妳真是乖 1686 01:23:54,958 --> 01:23:57,416 -別打電話! -不打了… 1687 01:24:01,625 --> 01:24:03,666 喂,不好了…他們真的沒錢了 1688 01:24:03,958 --> 01:24:05,750 他們的錢被銀行賠掉了 1689 01:24:05,833 --> 01:24:07,208 現在被打回原形了 1690 01:24:07,791 --> 01:24:09,083 那我們豈不是白費心機嗎? 1691 01:24:09,791 --> 01:24:10,958 這裡真多蚊子! 1692 01:24:11,041 --> 01:24:12,583 不如把那小妹放了就算吧 1693 01:24:12,666 --> 01:24:14,708 “算”?我們冒了那麼大風險 1694 01:24:15,041 --> 01:24:17,541 喂,究竟他們還會有多少錢? 1695 01:24:17,750 --> 01:24:19,875 -大概一萬多元吧 -一萬多元? 1696 01:24:20,041 --> 01:24:21,750 簡直是侮辱,不放 1697 01:24:21,916 --> 01:24:24,208 除非他肯侮辱我們幾十次 1698 01:24:24,958 --> 01:24:27,458 你們這樣不就是在乞丐碗裡 拿飯吃嗎? 1699 01:24:27,708 --> 01:24:30,125 拿到飯,你也有份吃 1700 01:24:30,500 --> 01:24:33,416 不要感情用事 她姐姐是你的女朋友,我知道 1701 01:24:33,500 --> 01:24:35,500 但是我們是你的兄弟 1702 01:24:35,583 --> 01:24:37,000 -是嗎? -是嗎? 1703 01:24:37,166 --> 01:24:39,541 -當然是了 -馬上跟他們要五十萬 1704 01:24:41,166 --> 01:24:42,041 喂? 1705 01:24:43,291 --> 01:24:44,416 喂,我是驃叔 1706 01:24:45,208 --> 01:24:46,791 你知道倒閉就好了 1707 01:24:47,041 --> 01:24:50,000 什麼?五十萬?我現在連五萬也沒有 1708 01:24:50,750 --> 01:24:53,166 你別殺我的女兒,我給… 1709 01:24:53,541 --> 01:24:56,500 -喂,我的女兒現在怎麼樣? -她很平安 1710 01:24:56,666 --> 01:24:59,583 我放她下來看電視節目,還給她吃糖 1711 01:24:59,666 --> 01:25:01,541 我的糖又大又甜 1712 01:25:01,833 --> 01:25:05,166 我要見到我女兒才給錢,招弟! 1713 01:25:05,250 --> 01:25:07,166 媽媽,這裡有很多老鼠! 1714 01:25:07,708 --> 01:25:08,833 聽到聲音了吧? 1715 01:25:09,541 --> 01:25:11,083 向高利貸借五十萬吧 1716 01:25:11,291 --> 01:25:14,500 明天下午 你把錢放在兩寸厚的皮箱中 1717 01:25:14,583 --> 01:25:16,041 拿著無線電話 1718 01:25:16,125 --> 01:25:19,166 去九龍塘乘3點45分的頭等火車 1719 01:25:19,250 --> 01:25:20,750 那你就會見到你的女兒了 1720 01:25:21,250 --> 01:25:23,000 喂,你去那邊準備偷拍 1721 01:25:23,666 --> 01:25:25,875 約翰,會不會在火車裡交錢的? 1722 01:25:32,000 --> 01:25:34,375 我找遍了全部車廂 都沒有見到綁匪和招弟 1723 01:25:36,041 --> 01:25:38,083 -喂? -你們現在在哪裡? 1724 01:25:38,708 --> 01:25:41,500 -我們剛過了中文大學 -前面有一條公路 1725 01:25:41,583 --> 01:25:43,250 你的女兒會在公路上出現 1726 01:25:43,333 --> 01:25:45,583 一看到你的女兒 就馬上把錢扔出火車 1727 01:25:46,416 --> 01:25:48,375 喂,窗是不能打開的,怎麼扔錢? 1728 01:25:48,458 --> 01:25:50,958 去洗手間,那裡有窗可以扔錢出來 1729 01:25:55,166 --> 01:25:56,291 就是這個窗了 1730 01:25:58,000 --> 01:25:59,750 兩寸厚的皮箱剛剛好 1731 01:26:00,250 --> 01:26:02,000 這列火車要到大埔墟才停站 1732 01:26:02,083 --> 01:26:04,708 即使我們報警 綁匪還是有很多時間可以逃走 1733 01:26:05,125 --> 01:26:07,041 那我豈非眼睜睜看著自己的女兒 卻無法救她? 1734 01:26:07,250 --> 01:26:08,125 真是狡猾 1735 01:26:08,208 --> 01:26:10,375 我出去拍下他們的樣子作為證據 1736 01:26:13,041 --> 01:26:14,166 爸爸! 1737 01:26:14,416 --> 01:26:17,083 -招弟! -大哥,把錢扔出去 1738 01:26:17,166 --> 01:26:18,333 把錢扔出去? 1739 01:26:18,416 --> 01:26:19,666 爸爸! 1740 01:26:19,750 --> 01:26:21,666 -扔出去 -扔出去 1741 01:26:22,875 --> 01:26:24,291 爸爸! 1742 01:26:25,333 --> 01:26:26,500 趕快扔啊! 1743 01:26:27,041 --> 01:26:28,666 招弟趕快回來! 1744 01:26:29,333 --> 01:26:31,625 爸爸! 1745 01:26:34,333 --> 01:26:35,666 大哥… 1746 01:26:36,250 --> 01:26:38,541 我沒錢了 1747 01:26:41,333 --> 01:26:43,458 你們收到錢了吧?你們安心了吧? 1748 01:26:43,875 --> 01:26:46,666 驃叔,我真的對不起你 我會放了你的女兒 1749 01:26:46,750 --> 01:26:47,666 你是誰? 1750 01:26:50,333 --> 01:26:51,208 完蛋了… 1751 01:26:51,291 --> 01:26:53,958 你們在大埔墟下火車 趕來馬鞍山石礦場救你的女兒吧 1752 01:26:54,958 --> 01:26:56,208 馬鞍山石礦場 1753 01:26:56,291 --> 01:26:58,166 錢… 1754 01:26:58,583 --> 01:27:00,750 喂,那個後輪掉了下去,得推上來 1755 01:27:00,833 --> 01:27:02,083 幫忙推一推車 1756 01:27:07,833 --> 01:27:10,708 小妹妹,聽著,待會我推妳一下 1757 01:27:10,916 --> 01:27:13,666 妳就說尿急 然後妳就借尿遁,知道嗎? 1758 01:27:14,041 --> 01:27:16,166 我知道了,笑口棗 1759 01:27:16,666 --> 01:27:19,125 -妳怎麼知道是我? -我早就知道了 1760 01:27:19,208 --> 01:27:22,458 不過懶得揭穿你,怕你殺我滅口而已 1761 01:27:28,250 --> 01:27:30,916 我很急尿,我要去廁所! 1762 01:27:31,000 --> 01:27:33,125 -不許吵! -我忍不住了! 1763 01:27:33,208 --> 01:27:34,041 不許去! 1764 01:27:34,125 --> 01:27:36,791 -妳要忍… -我忍不住了 1765 01:27:36,875 --> 01:27:38,458 對了,讓她去吧 1766 01:27:38,625 --> 01:27:40,041 否則她會把你的車子尿濕了 1767 01:27:41,500 --> 01:27:42,625 真麻煩 1768 01:27:42,708 --> 01:27:43,708 來吧… 1769 01:27:43,833 --> 01:27:44,791 (閒人免進,礦場重地) 1770 01:27:44,958 --> 01:27:46,166 門都不關上 1771 01:27:48,583 --> 01:27:49,583 快走 1772 01:27:52,125 --> 01:27:55,083 快走!走吧!走快點! 1773 01:27:55,166 --> 01:27:56,750 有多遠跑多遠,走吧… 1774 01:27:56,833 --> 01:27:58,583 為什麼你把她放了?你瘋了嗎? 1775 01:27:58,666 --> 01:28:01,416 -把她抓住,然後殺她滅口! -不要!她不過是個小孩子! 1776 01:28:01,583 --> 01:28:02,541 喂! 1777 01:28:06,083 --> 01:28:08,041 別殺她,她不過是個小孩子! 1778 01:28:10,041 --> 01:28:11,041 多事! 1779 01:28:20,458 --> 01:28:21,625 還想跑? 1780 01:28:30,125 --> 01:28:31,291 沒道理啊 1781 01:28:40,416 --> 01:28:43,333 -先給肥婆打電話吧 -大哥,不如報警吧? 1782 01:28:43,541 --> 01:28:44,833 -報警? -嗯 1783 01:29:00,791 --> 01:29:01,666 我要殺了妳! 1784 01:29:02,791 --> 01:29:03,958 (小杬碎石場) 1785 01:29:37,958 --> 01:29:38,833 招弟 1786 01:29:43,916 --> 01:29:47,458 救命! 1787 01:29:48,541 --> 01:29:49,833 救命! 1788 01:29:50,541 --> 01:29:53,000 救命! 1789 01:29:53,416 --> 01:29:54,375 救命! 1790 01:30:13,625 --> 01:30:15,083 爸爸救我! 1791 01:30:15,166 --> 01:30:17,125 招弟! 1792 01:30:17,208 --> 01:30:19,916 爸爸,救命! 1793 01:30:31,333 --> 01:30:32,333 小叔! 1794 01:30:33,083 --> 01:30:34,083 小叔! 1795 01:30:34,541 --> 01:30:36,166 -招弟 -小叔! 1796 01:30:37,208 --> 01:30:38,958 招弟! 1797 01:30:41,958 --> 01:30:43,875 -大哥 -爸爸! 1798 01:30:43,958 --> 01:30:45,583 -招弟! -爸爸! 1799 01:30:45,666 --> 01:30:47,250 你別離開我! 1800 01:30:47,333 --> 01:30:48,291 招弟! 1801 01:30:54,083 --> 01:30:56,416 石堆後面有一個,那邊閘口還有一個 1802 01:30:56,500 --> 01:30:57,708 其他人都跟我來 1803 01:30:58,250 --> 01:30:59,625 -乖女兒,爸爸愛死妳 -爸爸 1804 01:30:59,708 --> 01:31:01,708 -妹妹 -姐姐! 1805 01:31:04,375 --> 01:31:08,416 招弟! 1806 01:31:08,500 --> 01:31:09,833 -媽媽! -乖女兒,想死媽媽了 1807 01:31:09,916 --> 01:31:11,500 -妳沒事吧? -媽媽! 1808 01:31:12,333 --> 01:31:13,333 乖女兒 1809 01:31:13,416 --> 01:31:15,541 這個壞人,你真該死 1810 01:31:15,625 --> 01:31:17,791 -我打死你… -真是人渣,我打死你… 1811 01:31:17,875 --> 01:31:18,916 真是壞人 1812 01:31:19,000 --> 01:31:20,083 這裡還有一個 1813 01:31:23,958 --> 01:31:26,458 不關他的事,他是來救我的 1814 01:31:26,541 --> 01:31:28,291 他是好人 1815 01:31:28,375 --> 01:31:30,958 那兩個才是綁匪 1816 01:31:33,166 --> 01:31:35,916 笑口棗,我愛你! 1817 01:31:36,000 --> 01:31:36,875 笑口棗 1818 01:31:36,958 --> 01:31:39,541 -他有份綁架! -他有份綁架! 1819 01:31:39,625 --> 01:31:41,333 別把他放了! 1820 01:31:41,416 --> 01:31:44,333 笑口棗,你真是個好人,我誤會你了 1821 01:31:44,416 --> 01:31:46,791 你是我心目中的大英雄,你太好了! 1822 01:31:46,875 --> 01:31:50,291 -他有份綁架! -抓他! 1823 01:31:50,375 --> 01:31:52,750 -祝妳生日快樂 -祝妳生日快樂 1824 01:31:52,833 --> 01:31:55,166 -祝妳生日快樂 -祝妳生日快樂 1825 01:31:55,250 --> 01:31:58,166 -祝寶琳生日快樂 -祝寶琳生日快樂 1826 01:31:58,375 --> 01:32:01,083 -祝妳生日快樂 -祝妳生日快樂 1827 01:32:01,166 --> 01:32:03,041 -太好了 -太好了 1828 01:32:05,708 --> 01:32:08,166 -笑口棗,在洗米嗎? -煮飯啊 1829 01:32:09,125 --> 01:32:11,583 喂,綁架那件事,只有妳知道 1830 01:32:11,666 --> 01:32:13,041 妳別告訴其他人 1831 01:32:13,666 --> 01:32:15,166 我以後都不當壞人了 1832 01:32:16,000 --> 01:32:17,083 招弟 1833 01:32:18,125 --> 01:32:19,125 笑口棗 1834 01:32:19,208 --> 01:32:21,000 -姐姐找你 -米亞 1835 01:32:21,083 --> 01:32:23,666 -米亞,我來了 -喂,笑口棗 1836 01:32:24,916 --> 01:32:26,833 —人一次,不拖不欠 1837 01:32:27,708 --> 01:32:29,250 還不快去洗臉? 1838 01:32:32,041 --> 01:32:34,458 細細想來,我們還真不適合當有錢人 1839 01:32:34,625 --> 01:32:37,291 會給人綁架的,還是當窮人好 1840 01:32:37,750 --> 01:32:40,250 光有三個女兒在這裡,己經是寶了 1841 01:32:40,708 --> 01:32:42,125 不止三個 1842 01:32:43,458 --> 01:32:45,875 -什麼?妳… -大哥,恭喜你 1843 01:32:47,166 --> 01:32:48,666 這次一定是兒子 1844 01:32:48,791 --> 01:32:49,958 如果再生女兒的話… 1845 01:32:50,041 --> 01:32:52,250 -你會向醫院退貨 -你會向醫院退貨 1846 01:32:52,333 --> 01:32:53,500 對… 1847 01:32:53,583 --> 01:32:55,208 現在有一項特別報告 1848 01:32:55,375 --> 01:32:58,250 財政司剛在一個小時前正式宣佈 1849 01:32:58,416 --> 01:33:00,041 動用外匯基金 1850 01:33:00,125 --> 01:33:01,791 -挽救恒豐銀行 -謝謝… 1851 01:33:01,958 --> 01:33:04,166 雖然有多位議員大力反對 1852 01:33:04,250 --> 01:33:07,000 但是恒豐銀行己經得到政府接管 1853 01:33:07,083 --> 01:33:08,541 決定明天復業 1854 01:33:08,666 --> 01:33:11,458 所有的存戶都可以在該銀行 提取他們的存款 1855 01:33:14,041 --> 01:33:16,250 -太棒了! -太棒了! 1856 01:33:20,291 --> 01:33:21,416 冷靜… 1857 01:33:21,750 --> 01:33:24,416 不要那麼大聲,不然讓外面的人聽到 又要來借錢 1858 01:33:27,250 --> 01:33:29,625 老馮,我們怎麼還會有錢借給你呢? 1859 01:33:29,875 --> 01:33:32,875 不是,我是來把錢都還給你們的 1860 01:33:33,000 --> 01:33:34,875 我老婆和那個男人回來了 1861 01:33:34,958 --> 01:33:36,916 他們一起回來住 1862 01:33:37,208 --> 01:33:39,208 你老婆有了男人,你還那麼開心? 1863 01:33:39,291 --> 01:33:42,208 當然開心了,那個男人很有錢的! 1864 01:33:44,750 --> 01:33:46,083 老馮… 1865 01:33:46,166 --> 01:33:47,125 有什麼好事? 1866 01:33:47,875 --> 01:33:49,458 下賤,你還是男人嗎? 1867 01:35:07,000 --> 01:35:09,000 字幕翻譯:蔡偉權 124922

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