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1
00:02:00,583 --> 00:02:01,750
快點換衣服
2
00:02:01,833 --> 00:02:03,083
就快開席了
3
00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:05,041
人家說了6時恭候嘛
4
00:02:10,791 --> 00:02:12,458
換衣服
5
00:02:17,375 --> 00:02:19,916
-媽媽,我可以不去赴宴嗎?
-不可以
6
00:02:20,041 --> 00:02:21,291
每次我都有去啊
7
00:02:21,375 --> 00:02:23,250
所以這次也不能有例外
8
00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:25,333
招弟,換衣服
9
00:02:30,291 --> 00:02:33,500
如果妳不第一時間去換衣服的話
今晚妳別赴宴了
10
00:02:33,583 --> 00:02:35,291
謝謝爸爸
11
00:02:35,375 --> 00:02:37,541
然後從明天開始,不許去上學了
12
00:02:37,708 --> 00:02:39,708
謝謝爸爸
13
00:02:39,875 --> 00:02:41,750
以後不用再認我是妳的爸爸了
14
00:02:41,833 --> 00:02:44,000
謝謝爸爸
15
00:02:44,083 --> 00:02:45,500
因為我不再是妳的爸爸了
16
00:02:45,583 --> 00:02:47,458
所以就沒錢給妳做模型了
17
00:02:47,916 --> 00:02:49,541
我現在回去房間換衣服了,爸爸
18
00:02:50,541 --> 00:02:52,375
-老婆,我的西裝熨好了嗎?
-漂亮嗎?
19
00:02:52,458 --> 00:02:54,291
掛在房間了,那麼緊張幹嘛?
20
00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:56,125
當然緊張啊
21
00:02:56,750 --> 00:02:59,750
所謂“人要衣裝,佛要金裝”
22
00:03:01,625 --> 00:03:02,583
香港地
23
00:03:02,666 --> 00:03:05,208
-是先敬羅衣後敬人
-是先敬羅衣後敬人
24
00:03:05,375 --> 00:03:08,875
人的價值是從衣服上看出來的
25
00:03:09,291 --> 00:03:10,708
不用說別的
26
00:03:10,875 --> 00:03:13,416
光是香港的國貨公司
27
00:03:13,583 --> 00:03:16,083
永遠都輸給日本百貨公司
28
00:03:16,291 --> 00:03:18,250
就是輸在一張包裝紙而已
29
00:03:19,041 --> 00:03:20,791
香港地就是那麼殘酷的
30
00:03:24,166 --> 00:03:25,958
-把梳子還給我!
-不給,梳子是我的!
31
00:03:26,041 --> 00:03:27,125
還給我!
32
00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:28,791
為,現在是打仗了嗎?
33
00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:31,250
這種房子是房屋署叫人建的
34
00:03:31,333 --> 00:03:32,750
很脆弱的
35
00:03:32,833 --> 00:03:34,500
她拿了我的梳子
36
00:03:34,583 --> 00:03:35,958
招弟,出來!
37
00:03:36,541 --> 00:03:38,333
這把梳子是她送給我的
38
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:40,000
喂
39
00:03:40,250 --> 00:03:42,250
她從來都沒用過
所以我就把它拿回來
40
00:03:42,333 --> 00:03:43,750
那妳就不對了
41
00:03:43,833 --> 00:03:46,666
既然妳把梳子送了給她
用不用就是她的自由
42
00:03:46,750 --> 00:03:48,666
如果妳要用梳子的話,就得向她借
43
00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:49,958
媽媽!
44
00:03:50,041 --> 00:03:51,708
向她借
45
00:03:51,791 --> 00:03:53,500
小妹,借把梳子來用
46
00:03:53,583 --> 00:03:54,500
不行
47
00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:02,333
妹妹,請妳把梳子借給我
48
00:04:03,083 --> 00:04:04,083
妳拿去吧
49
00:04:05,041 --> 00:04:07,125
經過這件事,妳學到了什麼?
50
00:04:07,208 --> 00:04:09,500
我學到以後都不送東西給別人了
51
00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:12,916
穿那麼漂亮幹什麼?
52
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:14,625
那些姨媽姑姐不會欣賞這些的
53
00:04:14,708 --> 00:04:16,000
我沒打算赴宴
54
00:04:16,625 --> 00:04:18,541
待會我的男朋友來接我
55
00:04:18,833 --> 00:04:20,125
可不可以接我一起去呢?
56
00:04:20,375 --> 00:04:21,541
拜託了
57
00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:36,916
老婆,這條領帶那麼皺
能不能替我熨一熨?
58
00:04:45,416 --> 00:04:47,791
可以了,你的恤衫皺不皺呢?
59
00:04:48,416 --> 00:04:49,958
不皺,沒有皺
60
00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:51,875
驃叔、驃嬸
61
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,833
穿得那麼漂亮,去逛街嗎?
62
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:55,125
-是啊
-廢話
63
00:04:55,208 --> 00:04:56,291
是的,去赴宴
64
00:04:57,333 --> 00:04:58,625
如果是我設宴的話
65
00:04:58,708 --> 00:05:00,791
我一定請你們全家
66
00:05:01,041 --> 00:05:02,833
在這屋村裡,上上下下
67
00:05:02,916 --> 00:05:05,958
驃叔這家人是最體面的
68
00:05:06,083 --> 00:05:08,750
妳們看他們的三位千金
打扮得多漂亮
69
00:05:08,833 --> 00:05:10,208
像公主一样
70
00:05:10,291 --> 00:05:12,291
照我說,生女兒更划算
71
00:05:12,375 --> 00:05:15,750
好像驃叔那樣生不出兒子
每次都生女兒
72
00:05:15,833 --> 00:05:18,291
他自己本身是在電視台報新聞的
73
00:05:18,375 --> 00:05:21,291
這次一定近水樓台先得月了
74
00:05:21,375 --> 00:05:22,500
南姑,為什麼呢?
75
00:05:22,583 --> 00:05:24,416
提名他的女兒去選美嘛
76
00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:27,125
大女兒去選香港小姐
77
00:05:27,208 --> 00:05:29,875
二女兒去選亞洲小姐
78
00:05:29,958 --> 00:05:30,791
老土
79
00:05:31,083 --> 00:05:33,708
驃嬸可以去選健美小姐
80
00:05:33,791 --> 00:05:35,916
是啊…她的身材那麼棒
81
00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,083
說什麼那麼好笑?
82
00:05:37,166 --> 00:05:39,083
在說驃叔的女兒當小姐呢
83
00:05:39,166 --> 00:05:41,125
-舞小姐?
-招弟呢
84
00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:43,333
還可以去選電視小姐
85
00:05:43,416 --> 00:05:45,125
招弟還那麼小
86
00:05:45,208 --> 00:05:48,250
等她長大了,可能就不流行這種事了
87
00:05:48,458 --> 00:05:50,833
怎麼會沒有呢?還有特區小姐
88
00:05:51,083 --> 00:05:52,541
說得來也差不多了
89
00:05:52,791 --> 00:05:54,083
驃叔,對不對?
90
00:05:55,750 --> 00:05:57,083
妳的嘴巴那麼癢
91
00:05:57,166 --> 00:05:58,500
去吃無比膏吧
92
00:06:00,166 --> 00:06:02,000
老公,弄好就出來吧
93
00:06:02,250 --> 00:06:04,416
喂,招弟,快點
94
00:06:04,875 --> 00:06:05,791
記住了
95
00:06:05,958 --> 00:06:07,875
去到酒樓別一直點汽水喝
96
00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:10,291
不然被人家以為我沒錢給妳買水喝呢
97
00:06:10,416 --> 00:06:11,666
喂,來弟啊
98
00:06:11,750 --> 00:06:14,583
走過來騎樓下吧
樓上會掉東西下來的
99
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:16,166
不會這麼巧吧?
100
00:06:19,625 --> 00:06:21,666
快點,這裡比較安全
101
00:06:27,291 --> 00:06:28,416
笑口棗!
102
00:06:28,791 --> 00:06:30,833
米亞!
103
00:06:31,333 --> 00:06:32,500
這是我的媽媽
104
00:06:32,583 --> 00:06:34,375
媽媽米亞
105
00:06:34,458 --> 00:06:35,750
這是我的爸爸
106
00:06:37,416 --> 00:06:39,500
-爸爸
-等等,他是誰?
107
00:06:39,583 --> 00:06:41,583
我的朋友笑口棗
他是來接我去看演出的
108
00:06:41,666 --> 00:06:42,875
我不赴宴了,再見
109
00:06:42,958 --> 00:06:44,958
-我給了500元的紅包
-那我呢?
110
00:06:45,041 --> 00:06:47,041
你打包一些食物回來給我吃就好了嘛
111
00:06:48,250 --> 00:06:51,000
這就叫做“女大不中留”
都叫了妳別生女孩的
112
00:06:51,375 --> 00:06:53,708
這兩個不是我生的,不要算在我頭上
113
00:06:53,791 --> 00:06:55,791
-那這個呢?
-爸爸
114
00:06:55,875 --> 00:06:57,166
你們去哪裡赴宴呢?
115
00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:58,625
-去銅鑼灣
-是的…
116
00:06:59,208 --> 00:07:00,958
太糟糕,不順路
117
00:07:01,041 --> 00:07:03,208
-再見
-再見
118
00:07:04,750 --> 00:07:05,750
計程車
119
00:07:05,833 --> 00:07:07,333
喂,妳以為我們發財了嗎?
120
00:07:07,416 --> 00:07:09,500
-搭地鐵吧
-搭地鐵?
121
00:07:10,208 --> 00:07:12,666
地鐵既快又舒服,而且還能享受冷氣
122
00:07:13,375 --> 00:07:15,416
-走吧
-走吧,去享受吧,來吧
123
00:07:15,625 --> 00:07:20,250
前往中環及港島線的乘客
請到二號月台上車
124
00:07:25,083 --> 00:07:27,375
-怎會那麼多人?
-碰巧下班嘛
125
00:07:27,458 --> 00:07:30,750
無法上車的乘客,請乘搭下一班列車
126
00:07:32,958 --> 00:07:35,875
即將關閉車門
127
00:07:36,375 --> 00:07:37,666
別推我啊!
128
00:07:49,208 --> 00:07:50,458
別擠過來!
129
00:07:58,666 --> 00:08:00,625
來弟,這裡有空位
130
00:08:01,666 --> 00:08:04,250
喂,快點,不然就會被別人坐了
131
00:08:04,541 --> 00:08:06,833
-妳坐吧
-哦,那我坐了
132
00:08:14,750 --> 00:08:15,750
真是老土
133
00:08:16,041 --> 00:08:17,333
喂,有美女,你看
134
00:08:23,416 --> 00:08:28,041
下一站是尖沙咀
135
00:08:36,791 --> 00:08:38,083
非禮啊!
136
00:08:40,583 --> 00:08:42,583
-壞人,竟敢非禮人,我打死你!
-打死你們!
137
00:08:42,666 --> 00:08:44,125
-真是壞!
-打死你們這班混蛋!
138
00:08:44,208 --> 00:08:46,083
都不知道是讀哪間學校的
139
00:08:46,166 --> 00:08:48,791
-“狗公”嘛
-真是壞孩子
140
00:08:49,541 --> 00:08:51,250
兩位主婚人請坐中間
141
00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:53,583
來,笑一個
142
00:09:03,333 --> 00:09:05,166
來弟,坐下
143
00:09:06,750 --> 00:09:07,958
由得她吧
144
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:11,625
-九姑婆、大姨媽
-逐個叫親戚朋友來拍照吧
145
00:09:11,708 --> 00:09:13,000
一起來拍張照吧,來…
146
00:09:13,083 --> 00:09:14,208
-去拍照吧
-出去拍照了
147
00:09:35,166 --> 00:09:37,583
拍好了,請各位就坐…
148
00:09:37,750 --> 00:09:39,625
張司機、花王炳,你們也來吧
149
00:09:39,708 --> 00:09:40,750
還有奶媽,來…
150
00:09:40,833 --> 00:09:42,125
-來拍張照吧
-我們也有份呢
151
00:09:42,208 --> 00:09:43,625
是的…
152
00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:45,750
走吧,不會輪到我們的
153
00:09:45,916 --> 00:09:47,541
-我們去選位子吧
-好啊
154
00:09:47,625 --> 00:09:48,625
來弟
155
00:09:50,250 --> 00:09:51,666
還有哪一家人還沒拍照呢?
156
00:09:51,958 --> 00:09:54,083
有啊…漏掉了…
157
00:09:54,166 --> 00:09:56,208
漏了樂奇和多莉
158
00:09:57,208 --> 00:09:59,125
那兩隻小狗真可愛
159
00:10:03,125 --> 00:10:04,041
各位請自便
160
00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:06,750
-來,大家乾杯…
-乾杯…
161
00:10:06,875 --> 00:10:08,333
-來,乾杯
-謝謝
162
00:10:09,208 --> 00:10:10,250
這麼多就夠了
163
00:10:11,041 --> 00:10:13,041
保羅,你的法拉利308
164
00:10:13,125 --> 00:10:14,708
-這麼多就夠了…
-還好嗎?
165
00:10:14,791 --> 00:10:17,666
-這麼多就夠了…
-當然無所用,香港的路哪能飛車?
166
00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:19,541
-開遊艇出去才爽
-好了
167
00:10:19,625 --> 00:10:22,000
話說回來,我的新居快要入伙了
168
00:10:22,208 --> 00:10:24,583
遲點舉辦一個大型派對
邀請你們全部人
169
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,541
你那間別墅裝修了多少錢?
170
00:10:26,625 --> 00:10:27,625
多少錢?
171
00:10:28,041 --> 00:10:30,500
-才兩百多萬
-是的,才兩百多萬
172
00:10:30,583 --> 00:10:32,666
住起來是很棒,就是偏僻了一點
173
00:10:32,750 --> 00:10:35,041
說方便嘛,還是表哥你們那裡好
174
00:10:35,125 --> 00:10:36,791
你們還是住在市區的政府公屋嗎?
175
00:10:36,875 --> 00:10:37,708
是嗎?
176
00:10:37,791 --> 00:10:38,958
-是的
-是的
177
00:10:39,041 --> 00:10:40,791
改天我們出門,就去拜訪你們吧
178
00:10:40,875 --> 00:10:41,875
不用客氣了
179
00:10:42,750 --> 00:10:44,000
最近我們也在裝修中
180
00:10:44,333 --> 00:10:46,166
-是的…
-來弟
181
00:10:46,291 --> 00:10:47,833
妳今年讀中學幾年級了?
182
00:10:48,958 --> 00:10:50,375
讀中學幾年級了?
183
00:10:50,833 --> 00:10:53,458
-在讀預科班
-就快考大學了
184
00:10:53,541 --> 00:10:55,458
為什麼不送她去外國讀書呢?
185
00:10:55,583 --> 00:10:56,875
-我的女兒呢
-我去洗手間
186
00:10:56,958 --> 00:10:59,291
還沒考考初中成績評核試
就把她送去洛杉磯了
187
00:10:59,375 --> 00:11:02,208
-我呢?
-明年就要考進加大洛杉磯分校了
188
00:11:02,291 --> 00:11:04,708
快到1997年了,有沒有打算移民呢?
189
00:11:04,875 --> 00:11:06,500
我們不打算移民
190
00:11:09,291 --> 00:11:10,875
我們雖然是香港人
191
00:11:11,708 --> 00:11:13,625
體內流的是中國人的血液
192
00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:15,833
應該投向祖國的懷抱
193
00:11:16,583 --> 00:11:19,291
移民是不負責任的行為
194
00:11:19,833 --> 00:11:22,416
我們應該以不屈不撓的香港精神
195
00:11:22,750 --> 00:11:23,791
留在這裡
196
00:11:24,333 --> 00:11:26,750
做大時代轉變的見證人
197
00:11:26,916 --> 00:11:29,708
為實現祖國四個現代化盡一分力
198
00:11:29,875 --> 00:11:31,458
所以我在這裡呼籲大家
199
00:11:31,541 --> 00:11:32,708
留在香港
200
00:11:32,958 --> 00:11:34,916
不要當人家的三等公民
201
00:11:41,916 --> 00:11:43,291
還有一碗,誰要呢?
202
00:11:44,166 --> 00:11:45,833
給我表哥吧,他不常吃這些
203
00:11:51,833 --> 00:11:53,666
(衛星電視)
204
00:11:55,083 --> 00:11:56,875
-經理在嗎?
-你不能進去!
205
00:11:56,958 --> 00:11:58,875
-不吃了,酸的
-來吧
206
00:12:04,875 --> 00:12:08,666
經理,我進來是告訴你
我替你買了六合彩
207
00:12:09,375 --> 00:12:10,208
好了
208
00:12:10,291 --> 00:12:12,041
-那我先出去了,經理
-好
209
00:12:19,666 --> 00:12:21,458
那些號碼我都對過了,不會錯了
210
00:12:22,750 --> 00:12:24,291
對了,還有你的車鑰匙
211
00:12:24,375 --> 00:12:25,250
坐下
212
00:12:27,041 --> 00:12:29,875
你剛才沒看到什麼吧?
213
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:31,500
沒什麼能看的
214
00:12:31,583 --> 00:12:34,666
上次在試片室看過了
這次是小兒科了
215
00:12:34,833 --> 00:12:36,083
還有在停車場那次…
216
00:12:36,166 --> 00:12:39,791
驃叔,你在新聞部報了十幾年的新聞
217
00:12:39,875 --> 00:12:42,250
你應該知道什麼是應該說的
218
00:12:42,333 --> 00:12:44,625
什麼是不應該說的
219
00:12:44,708 --> 00:12:46,416
-要喝嗎?
-謝了
220
00:12:46,791 --> 00:12:49,083
我一向來都依照公司給的稿子來說話
221
00:12:49,166 --> 00:12:50,333
我不會亂說的
222
00:12:50,416 --> 00:12:52,125
那就最好了
223
00:12:52,916 --> 00:12:55,666
下個禮拜有白金巨星之夜
你要不要看呢?
224
00:12:56,083 --> 00:12:57,333
我不是很喜歡看
225
00:12:58,208 --> 00:13:00,333
應該看的,你就要去看
226
00:13:00,416 --> 00:13:02,708
不應該看的,就當沒看過
227
00:13:02,791 --> 00:13:03,708
對嗎?
228
00:13:04,083 --> 00:13:05,625
是的,謝謝經理
229
00:13:09,958 --> 00:13:10,958
我是新聞部的驃叔
230
00:13:11,041 --> 00:13:13,333
驃叔,監製要見你
231
00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:14,791
女魔頭?
232
00:13:15,375 --> 00:13:17,041
-監製,找我嗎?
-嗯
233
00:13:17,916 --> 00:13:19,000
有什麼事?
234
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:23,166
驃叔,你在新聞部做了18年
235
00:13:23,250 --> 00:13:24,625
沒有功也有勞
236
00:13:24,791 --> 00:13:26,583
按照公司的政策
237
00:13:26,666 --> 00:13:28,166
我一定要通知你
238
00:13:28,833 --> 00:13:30,708
這次輪到我升職了吧?
239
00:13:30,875 --> 00:13:33,250
三個月的試用期由今天開始
240
00:13:33,458 --> 00:13:34,375
什麼?
241
00:13:34,458 --> 00:13:37,000
我已經在這裡工作了18年
還要試用期?
242
00:13:37,166 --> 00:13:39,375
我入行的時候,妳還在唸中學
243
00:13:39,750 --> 00:13:40,916
我們別說這些了
244
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:43,541
就說上個月吧,你闖了多少次的禍?
245
00:13:43,625 --> 00:13:44,833
出錯了幾多次呢?
246
00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:47,250
-一次…
-你不用數了
247
00:13:47,708 --> 00:13:50,125
我已經把你犯錯的鏡頭,全部剪輯好
248
00:13:50,208 --> 00:13:51,958
請你睜大雙眼看清楚
249
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:56,791
最近當局搞了個工業安全運動
250
00:13:56,875 --> 00:13:58,791
加強敎育地盤工人
251
00:13:58,875 --> 00:14:01,083
在有危險警告的地方,不要亂走…
252
00:14:05,083 --> 00:14:06,208
那次是意外
253
00:14:06,291 --> 00:14:07,916
接著這次該不是意外了吧?
254
00:14:09,041 --> 00:14:10,708
我在沙頭角報告
255
00:14:10,791 --> 00:14:13,500
颱風消息,這裡多處…
256
00:14:14,208 --> 00:14:15,708
淹水,山泥傾瀉
257
00:14:15,791 --> 00:14:19,125
好大風啊!
258
00:14:19,291 --> 00:14:21,791
-還需要繼續看下去嗎?
-不用了
259
00:14:22,250 --> 00:14:23,875
我已經知這發生了什麼事
260
00:14:24,291 --> 00:14:27,250
這條車鑰匙是經理的
請妳替我交還給他
261
00:14:27,708 --> 00:14:29,541
因為妳跟他的關係較為密切
262
00:14:33,208 --> 00:14:34,666
(衛星電視,致雷達驃先生,機密)
263
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:36,708
冬菇部
264
00:14:36,916 --> 00:14:38,708
什麼?冬菇部?
265
00:14:38,791 --> 00:14:40,875
是啊,這裡專門把人降職的
266
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:42,041
我是驃叔
267
00:14:42,125 --> 00:14:44,500
剛才我跟你說的那兩張演唱會票
268
00:14:44,583 --> 00:14:46,416
我叫秘書拿下來給你吧
269
00:14:46,500 --> 00:14:48,958
不用客氣了,經理,你留著自己看吧
270
00:14:49,416 --> 00:14:50,333
什麼事?
271
00:14:50,500 --> 00:14:52,333
你去問我們的監製就知道了
272
00:14:52,416 --> 00:14:54,000
我現在什麼都看清楚了
273
00:14:54,083 --> 00:14:56,458
總之人窮就火大
憋著一肚子氣就脾氣暴躁
274
00:14:56,541 --> 00:14:58,708
我現在氣憤難平,什麼都會說的
275
00:14:58,791 --> 00:14:59,833
就這樣吧
276
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:02,125
真是離譜
277
00:15:02,416 --> 00:15:03,500
你來說說吧,驃叔
278
00:15:03,583 --> 00:15:05,625
我在美國讀到傳理系碩士
279
00:15:05,708 --> 00:15:08,708
回來這裡做了18個月
我還需要試用期嗎?
280
00:15:08,833 --> 00:15:09,958
有什麼好奇怪呢?
281
00:15:10,041 --> 00:15:12,375
有人在新聞部做了18年
282
00:15:12,458 --> 00:15:13,833
如今還在試用期呢
283
00:15:13,916 --> 00:15:15,291
是誰那麼丟臉呢?
284
00:15:15,375 --> 00:15:17,666
換作我是他,我就去死了算了
285
00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:19,375
不死也沒用了
286
00:15:19,458 --> 00:15:21,791
死…你去死吧
287
00:15:22,708 --> 00:15:25,666
驃叔,剛才經理打電話來
288
00:15:26,208 --> 00:15:27,875
他叫你把那封信還給我
289
00:15:29,291 --> 00:15:30,416
不用了
290
00:15:30,583 --> 00:15:31,916
我也不想幹了
291
00:15:32,500 --> 00:15:33,791
我想退休
292
00:15:36,083 --> 00:15:37,500
我再給你一次機會
293
00:15:37,583 --> 00:15:39,750
這裡有很多年輕人在等著機會
294
00:15:39,833 --> 00:15:41,958
不用一次過給我兩次機會
295
00:15:42,458 --> 00:15:45,708
我敎妳吧,想降我的職
就得緊守原則
296
00:15:45,875 --> 00:15:47,500
原則也可以變的
297
00:15:47,666 --> 00:15:49,333
會變的就不是原則
298
00:15:51,083 --> 00:15:53,083
可以解僱的話,就不是驃叔了
299
00:15:53,666 --> 00:15:55,250
屋村生活紀要
300
00:15:55,333 --> 00:15:57,500
眼見四大八婆在打麻將
301
00:15:57,583 --> 00:15:58,833
不肯上鏡的是東姑
302
00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:00,833
南姑之後有西姑
303
00:16:01,250 --> 00:16:03,333
北姑不見,只剩下一粒大草姑
304
00:16:05,166 --> 00:16:07,708
-看來這一把是雞糊了
-別說出來
305
00:16:07,791 --> 00:16:09,500
好,先看看我媽媽的牌
306
00:16:10,875 --> 00:16:12,708
-真棒!
-別拍了!
307
00:16:12,791 --> 00:16:14,666
-算了吧
-真是的
308
00:16:14,750 --> 00:16:16,583
媽媽,妳小心我的錄影機啊
309
00:16:16,666 --> 00:16:18,833
-你真是個廢物,一整天都在拍
-喂,給錢啊
310
00:16:18,916 --> 00:16:20,291
讀書又不見你這麼勤勞
311
00:16:20,375 --> 00:16:22,791
-我是香港電影新浪潮的希望
-別這樣
312
00:16:22,875 --> 00:16:24,666
我要當史提芬史匹堡
313
00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:27,125
屎屁寶?你以為你的屁股有寶嗎?
314
00:16:27,208 --> 00:16:28,416
真是屁股鬼
315
00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:30,083
他那麼大了,別這樣罵他了
316
00:16:30,166 --> 00:16:32,166
不知道怎麼會生出這個廢物
317
00:16:32,958 --> 00:16:35,625
電視仔,麻煩你替我們換一壺熱茶
318
00:16:36,833 --> 00:16:38,666
服侍女人,完全沒了尊嚴
319
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,000
真是廢物
320
00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:42,458
廢物也可以利用的
321
00:16:42,625 --> 00:16:44,875
喂,妳打得怎麼樣,手氣好不好?
322
00:16:45,041 --> 00:16:47,333
我真的打不慣—兩塊錢的麻將
323
00:16:47,416 --> 00:16:48,375
妳真的不打了?
324
00:16:48,458 --> 00:16:51,000
沒空,我老公約了我去看房子
325
00:16:51,083 --> 00:16:52,625
妳們知道的,我的女兒都長大了
326
00:16:52,708 --> 00:16:54,208
地方不夠住了
327
00:16:54,291 --> 00:16:55,583
驃叔真有本事
328
00:16:55,750 --> 00:16:57,583
真是倒霉,輸了50幾塊
329
00:16:57,666 --> 00:17:00,000
-六合彩可以買20幾注了
-老婆…
330
00:17:00,083 --> 00:17:01,000
老婆
331
00:17:01,375 --> 00:17:02,708
老婆,妳別走,老婆
332
00:17:02,791 --> 00:17:04,791
-妳別走
-你別拉住我
333
00:17:05,291 --> 00:17:07,083
我答應妳,我明天馬上去找工作
334
00:17:07,166 --> 00:17:09,583
我要當個大男人
335
00:17:09,750 --> 00:17:12,291
怎麼搞的?這樣也罰12碼
336
00:17:13,541 --> 00:17:15,708
糟了,我沒帶鑰匙
337
00:17:16,250 --> 00:17:17,833
老婆…妳別走
338
00:17:17,916 --> 00:17:19,375
我沒帶鑰匙,怎麼進去呢?
339
00:17:19,458 --> 00:17:21,583
喂,去社會福利處不就行了?
340
00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:23,875
他們最拿手是破門進屋
341
00:17:23,958 --> 00:17:24,916
可以嗎?
342
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,791
你說你是郭亞女的爸爸不就行了?
343
00:17:28,750 --> 00:17:29,708
是的
344
00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:33,333
喂,招弟,妳想怎麼樣?
345
00:17:33,416 --> 00:17:35,750
就快吃飯了,妳想吃多少?讓我來切
346
00:17:35,833 --> 00:17:36,833
切這裡
347
00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:41,833
喂!拿回來!
348
00:17:42,458 --> 00:17:44,208
借一對絲襪給我吧
349
00:17:44,625 --> 00:17:45,833
妳自己也有絲襪嘛
350
00:17:45,916 --> 00:17:48,125
每對絲襪我都穿過了,人家都見過了
351
00:17:48,208 --> 00:17:49,750
妳反過來穿不就行了嗎?
352
00:17:49,833 --> 00:17:51,875
-來吧,借給我吧…
-怎麼了?
353
00:17:51,958 --> 00:17:54,958
我今晚要去跳舞比賽,她連絲襪也
不肯借給我
354
00:17:56,791 --> 00:17:57,958
怎麼了?
355
00:17:58,541 --> 00:18:00,208
才割傷了一點
356
00:18:00,291 --> 00:18:02,416
我去拿藥水膠布,別吵了!
357
00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:06,875
把包包借給我吧,顏色相襯嘛
358
00:18:06,958 --> 00:18:09,750
-為什麼妳老是覬覦我的東西呢?
-妳把東西買回來了都不用
359
00:18:09,833 --> 00:18:11,000
因為妳老是把東西借去用
360
00:18:11,083 --> 00:18:12,708
別吵了!
361
00:18:14,208 --> 00:18:15,250
來了!
362
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,166
我的梳子上全是妳的頭皮屑
363
00:18:19,250 --> 00:18:21,500
-頭皮屑是妳自己的
-我的頭不會掉頭皮屑
364
00:18:21,583 --> 00:18:23,875
別吵了,這間屋子能有多大呢?
365
00:18:23,958 --> 00:18:25,416
說話需要那麼大聲嗎?
366
00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:27,125
我警告妳們
367
00:18:27,208 --> 00:18:30,833
在這間屋子裡,如果有誰再大聲說話
我就對他不客氣
368
00:18:31,166 --> 00:18:32,083
老婆
369
00:18:32,416 --> 00:18:33,541
老婆,我回來了!
370
00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:38,625
你想怎麼樣?
371
00:18:39,125 --> 00:18:40,291
-沒有啊
-回來就回來啊
372
00:18:40,375 --> 00:18:41,750
幹嘛那麼大聲?
373
00:18:42,458 --> 00:18:45,958
-老婆,現在流行大聲說話嘛
-走吧
374
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:49,875
這是城市人的節奏,年青人的時尚
375
00:18:49,958 --> 00:18:51,166
都不知道你在說什麼
376
00:18:51,583 --> 00:18:54,291
我說我們要追上潮流!
377
00:18:54,375 --> 00:18:56,083
也對,老公!
378
00:18:56,166 --> 00:18:58,875
今天有封信是你的,是掛號信!
379
00:18:58,958 --> 00:19:00,291
是誰寄來的?
380
00:19:00,375 --> 00:19:03,000
你弟弟約翰,從馬尼拉寄回來的!
381
00:19:04,041 --> 00:19:05,125
約翰那臭小子
382
00:19:05,208 --> 00:19:06,666
我從來不看他的信
383
00:19:07,208 --> 00:19:09,125
你好歹也看一次吧
384
00:19:09,291 --> 00:19:10,833
我最討厭這個弟弟了!
385
00:19:10,916 --> 00:19:12,541
他目無尊長,不給我面子!
386
00:19:12,625 --> 00:19:14,250
以後不許有人再提起他!
387
00:19:15,250 --> 00:19:17,208
妳今晚去跳舞比賽嗎?
388
00:19:17,291 --> 00:19:18,958
那就不用等妳吃飯了!
389
00:19:19,500 --> 00:19:20,916
喝鮮奶嗎?
390
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,750
喝多幾杯吧,招呼不週!
391
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:29,166
-說話需要那麼大聲嗎?
-是啊,這間屋子能有多大呢?
392
00:19:31,083 --> 00:19:33,125
偉大,大功告成
393
00:19:33,208 --> 00:19:35,208
老二,給一些意見吧
394
00:19:35,291 --> 00:19:37,250
妳就拿這個去參加模型比賽嗎?
395
00:19:37,333 --> 00:19:39,916
是的,太陽系,九大行星都齊了
396
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,083
妳覺得怎麼樣?
397
00:19:41,166 --> 00:19:43,166
-不錯
-只是不錯?
398
00:19:43,541 --> 00:19:45,375
為什麼妳的木星那麼小呢?
399
00:19:45,458 --> 00:19:47,208
而且地球旁邊沒有月球
400
00:19:47,458 --> 00:19:49,375
別故意挑剔
401
00:19:49,708 --> 00:19:50,833
那我就不知道了
402
00:19:51,750 --> 00:19:53,375
那麼快就做好了?
403
00:19:53,458 --> 00:19:54,625
這些球既圓…
404
00:19:54,708 --> 00:19:57,166
-顏色又鮮艷
-而且還會轉
405
00:19:57,250 --> 00:20:00,291
真厲害…天才兒童,有我的血統
406
00:20:00,375 --> 00:20:02,375
來…湊一組六合彩號碼吧
407
00:20:02,750 --> 00:20:04,875
預祝我的模型得第一,就選一吧
408
00:20:04,958 --> 00:20:06,000
好,一號
409
00:20:06,416 --> 00:20:08,291
喂,你們每人選一個號碼
410
00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:11,541
喂…妳自己嗜賭就算了
怎麼還教自己的女兒呢?
411
00:20:11,708 --> 00:20:13,625
只是選號碼
412
00:20:13,708 --> 00:20:16,291
老是想發橫財,發財了也不光榮
413
00:20:16,375 --> 00:20:19,416
周潤發之所以這麼成功
也是全靠他自己的努力
414
00:20:19,583 --> 00:20:20,625
開飯吧
415
00:20:25,583 --> 00:20:26,708
媽媽米亞
416
00:20:27,458 --> 00:20:29,708
噓噓仔,幹什麼?想進來嗎?
417
00:20:29,875 --> 00:20:30,958
是的…
418
00:20:31,041 --> 00:20:32,416
妳真聰明,媽媽米亞
419
00:20:33,208 --> 00:20:34,583
叫我伯母
420
00:20:34,666 --> 00:20:36,625
-叫我笑口棗
-笑口棗!
421
00:20:36,916 --> 00:20:38,750
等我一會兒,我在換衣服
422
00:20:38,833 --> 00:20:41,416
慢慢來,距離跳舞比賽還有兩個小時
423
00:20:41,500 --> 00:20:43,791
-你會跳舞嗎?
-今晚我跟妳姐姐是拍擋
424
00:20:44,416 --> 00:20:45,375
一定會得冠軍
425
00:20:45,458 --> 00:20:46,708
-喂…
-待會跳來看看
426
00:20:46,791 --> 00:20:48,708
你這束頭髮染成這樣,很有型嗎?
427
00:20:48,958 --> 00:20:50,833
伯母,妳錯得非常離譜
428
00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:54,041
這束不是染的,其它的才是染的
429
00:20:54,750 --> 00:20:56,833
喂,你掉了一隻耳環
430
00:20:56,916 --> 00:20:58,666
伯母,妳非常老土
431
00:20:58,750 --> 00:21:00,958
現在流行戴一隻耳環而已
432
00:21:01,708 --> 00:21:03,041
你穿了耳洞嗎?
433
00:21:03,125 --> 00:21:05,125
是啊,追得上潮流的青年
434
00:21:05,208 --> 00:21:08,083
25歲以下,全部都會穿耳洞
435
00:21:08,166 --> 00:21:10,541
那到了26歲
你會不會把這個洞填掉呢?
436
00:21:10,625 --> 00:21:13,083
伯母,妳真會說笑
437
00:21:13,916 --> 00:21:15,166
爸爸,收工了?
438
00:21:15,250 --> 00:21:16,583
我在工作
439
00:21:16,666 --> 00:21:17,958
罐頭味很重
440
00:21:18,791 --> 00:21:20,625
老婆,又吃罐頭嗎?
441
00:21:20,708 --> 00:21:21,541
爸爸
442
00:21:21,625 --> 00:21:23,541
叫伯父,沒那麼礙耳
443
00:21:23,708 --> 00:21:25,625
伯父,有罐頭吃已經很好了
444
00:21:25,708 --> 00:21:27,750
我很多時候連冷飯菜汁都沒得吃
445
00:21:27,833 --> 00:21:30,958
我媽很好賭
只喜歡打麻將和買六合彩
446
00:21:31,041 --> 00:21:32,333
不喜歡煮飯
447
00:21:32,416 --> 00:21:35,041
好賭的女人很令人討厭
448
00:21:35,208 --> 00:21:37,458
-在這件事上,我支持你
-伯母,妳有什麼看法呢?
449
00:21:37,541 --> 00:21:39,583
你殘廢嗎?你不會自己下廚嗎?
450
00:21:39,750 --> 00:21:40,666
自己下廚?
451
00:21:40,750 --> 00:21:42,958
男子漢大丈夫自己下廚
會被人看不起的
452
00:21:43,125 --> 00:21:45,166
今天的女人是不會待在廚房裡的
453
00:21:45,250 --> 00:21:48,166
因為今天的女人還沒遇到明天的男人
454
00:21:48,416 --> 00:21:50,583
那你得聽伯父的忠告
我的女兒不適合你
455
00:21:50,666 --> 00:21:51,708
適合
456
00:21:51,791 --> 00:21:53,291
我和美亞很投契
457
00:21:53,375 --> 00:21:56,333
我們天生一對
我叫含羞草,她叫交際花
458
00:21:56,416 --> 00:21:58,000
-是誰說的?
-根叔
459
00:21:59,583 --> 00:22:02,500
-那我們是什麼?
-我是絲苗米,妳是電飯煲
460
00:22:07,208 --> 00:22:08,375
他是鬼上身嗎?
461
00:22:08,458 --> 00:22:09,750
他會神打嗎?
462
00:22:14,458 --> 00:22:17,000
米亞,快來…
463
00:22:17,166 --> 00:22:18,791
笑口棗
464
00:22:45,666 --> 00:22:47,583
竟然還扭屁股呢
465
00:22:48,208 --> 00:22:49,541
不得了了
466
00:22:58,416 --> 00:22:59,333
-再見
-再見
467
00:22:59,416 --> 00:23:00,333
再見
468
00:23:00,500 --> 00:23:02,500
姐姐,妳忘了拿手提袋
469
00:23:02,958 --> 00:23:04,791
-謝謝…再見
-再見
470
00:23:05,833 --> 00:23:07,958
-真是老土
-玩得開心一點
471
00:23:08,041 --> 00:23:09,833
玩得小心一點
472
00:23:20,291 --> 00:23:21,458
幾多號啊?
473
00:23:23,458 --> 00:23:24,416
26
474
00:23:24,916 --> 00:23:26,333
26
475
00:23:26,750 --> 00:23:28,083
繼續…
476
00:23:29,833 --> 00:23:32,333
-跳舞比賽怎麼樣了?
-輸了
477
00:23:34,208 --> 00:23:35,750
那些男人真是卑鄙
478
00:23:35,833 --> 00:23:38,958
-怎麼了?跟油脂仔吵架嗎?
-何止吵架?簡直是絕交
479
00:23:39,041 --> 00:23:40,791
他跳舞的時候踩到妳的尾巴了吧?
480
00:23:41,375 --> 00:23:43,083
好生氣!
481
00:23:43,250 --> 00:23:45,041
剛才跳完舞,我們去吃飯
482
00:23:45,125 --> 00:23:47,625
他目不轉睛地盯著女侍應的大腿看
483
00:23:47,708 --> 00:23:49,625
菜單寫在女侍應的大腿上嗎?
484
00:23:51,166 --> 00:23:52,750
為什麼妳不馬上離開呢?
485
00:23:53,500 --> 00:23:55,791
我沒那麼笨,我才不要離開呢
486
00:23:55,875 --> 00:23:58,375
我先點了一份魚子醬,250塊
487
00:23:58,458 --> 00:24:01,458
再點一份紐西蘭生蠔,280塊
488
00:24:01,541 --> 00:24:04,375
主菜是焗龍蝦,480塊
489
00:24:04,458 --> 00:24:05,750
還有甜品呢
490
00:24:05,833 --> 00:24:07,708
他破產了
491
00:24:07,791 --> 00:24:08,875
那麼多好東西吃
492
00:24:08,958 --> 00:24:11,375
妳應該打電話回來
叫我們全家一起去吃
493
00:24:11,458 --> 00:24:14,833
我吃了他一千多塊
臨走才說要跟他分手
494
00:24:14,916 --> 00:24:18,166
聰明的孩子,有性格
有妳媽媽當年的風範
495
00:24:18,250 --> 00:24:19,708
他很老土,我走出餐廳時還追上來
496
00:24:19,791 --> 00:24:21,333
於是我在大街上賞了他一巴掌
497
00:24:21,416 --> 00:24:22,708
太棒了…
498
00:24:22,791 --> 00:24:24,291
虎母無犬女
499
00:24:24,375 --> 00:24:26,333
當年我就是以這樣的方式
對待妳的爸爸
500
00:24:26,416 --> 00:24:28,083
肥妹,別醜化我的形象
501
00:24:28,708 --> 00:24:30,500
-改天我再傳授幾招給妳
-好啊…
502
00:24:30,583 --> 00:24:31,916
喂,什麼號碼?
503
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:33,666
-15
-15
504
00:24:33,750 --> 00:24:35,166
這樣選號碼也行?
505
00:24:35,416 --> 00:24:37,708
童子手特別靈驗
506
00:24:37,916 --> 00:24:38,791
搞定了
507
00:24:38,875 --> 00:24:40,958
喂,收拾好東西就回房睡覺
508
00:24:49,041 --> 00:24:49,958
吊上去
509
00:24:51,208 --> 00:24:54,333
老公,我們的新房子真是豪華
510
00:24:54,416 --> 00:24:56,041
你在樓上享受得怎麼樣?
511
00:24:56,500 --> 00:24:57,833
這裡很爽的
512
00:24:58,041 --> 00:25:02,166
我以前得在浴室裡放很多個屁
才有這種效果
513
00:25:02,541 --> 00:25:04,958
趕快下來吧,派對快要開始了
514
00:25:06,125 --> 00:25:08,625
阿三、阿四,食物準備得怎麼樣?
515
00:25:08,708 --> 00:25:09,875
差不多了,主人
516
00:25:09,958 --> 00:25:12,458
行就行,不行就不行
什麼叫做“差不多”?
517
00:25:12,541 --> 00:25:15,208
-趕快去廚房工作
-是的,主人
518
00:25:17,041 --> 00:25:19,041
-今晚的煙花準備好了嗎?
-準備好了
519
00:25:19,125 --> 00:25:20,416
-試放一次
-好的
520
00:25:22,916 --> 00:25:24,208
好豪華
521
00:25:24,291 --> 00:25:26,791
今晚的賓客一定會大開眼界
522
00:25:29,041 --> 00:25:31,083
爸爸、媽媽,過來看看吧
523
00:25:35,958 --> 00:25:36,833
我真不明白
524
00:25:36,916 --> 00:25:39,708
為什麼你要以雙倍價錢
收購匯豐銀行呢?
525
00:25:40,250 --> 00:25:41,875
沒什麼,只是圖個過癮
526
00:25:43,375 --> 00:25:44,416
謝謝…
527
00:25:45,750 --> 00:25:48,708
不算貴,小意思而已,不算貴啊…
528
00:25:49,083 --> 00:25:51,833
喂!小心點,不要弄髒我的地氈
529
00:25:51,916 --> 00:25:53,750
失禮了,來…
530
00:25:53,958 --> 00:25:57,166
喂,我的古董花瓶很貴的
小心別打破
531
00:26:01,833 --> 00:26:02,708
喂?
532
00:26:03,291 --> 00:26:05,250
你們怎麼還沒來?快點來吧
533
00:26:05,333 --> 00:26:08,083
今晚真的很熱鬧
534
00:26:08,875 --> 00:26:11,625
各位嘉賓
今晚除了慶祝我們新居入伙
535
00:26:11,708 --> 00:26:14,000
還會慶祝我的妹妹得到模型比賽冠軍
536
00:26:14,083 --> 00:26:16,166
現在由她來示範運作她的模型
537
00:26:18,875 --> 00:26:21,166
她這次得獎的模型就是…
538
00:26:22,875 --> 00:26:25,791
大浪灣核電廠
539
00:26:28,458 --> 00:26:30,291
-偉大,真是偉大
-議員
540
00:26:30,791 --> 00:26:33,000
你們幹嘛還要出外考察核電廠呢?
541
00:26:33,083 --> 00:26:36,708
留在這裡
考察我這個天才兒童的核電廠
542
00:26:36,791 --> 00:26:38,916
再把它寫成報告,不是更好嗎?
543
00:26:39,833 --> 00:26:43,291
媽媽!爸爸!
544
00:26:43,625 --> 00:26:46,208
-媽媽!
-怎麼了?
545
00:26:46,375 --> 00:26:48,083
我離婚了
546
00:26:48,250 --> 00:26:49,875
-那笑口棗呢?
-為什麼?
547
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:52,625
一出海,他就只會盯著金絲貓來看
548
00:26:52,791 --> 00:26:54,583
氣死我了
549
00:26:57,208 --> 00:27:00,333
-輻射!
-輻射!
550
00:27:00,750 --> 00:27:02,833
沒事的…十米範圍以內
551
00:27:02,916 --> 00:27:04,541
都不會受到輻射的影響
552
00:27:04,625 --> 00:27:06,625
-怎麼辦?
-趕快離開!
553
00:27:10,750 --> 00:27:12,166
-走吧,女兒!
-趕快離開吧!
554
00:27:12,250 --> 00:27:13,916
快點!
555
00:27:43,916 --> 00:27:46,833
-不要站近車門
-這麼多人,不要擠進來啊
556
00:27:46,916 --> 00:27:49,291
是啊,真是離譜?
557
00:27:57,250 --> 00:28:01,791
下一站是中環…
558
00:28:14,416 --> 00:28:15,500
我…
559
00:28:18,666 --> 00:28:21,041
好悶熱,我無法呼吸了
560
00:28:26,083 --> 00:28:26,916
驃叔
561
00:28:28,416 --> 00:28:29,333
驃叔!
562
00:28:29,958 --> 00:28:30,958
驃叔去了哪裡?
563
00:28:31,041 --> 00:28:33,666
他一回來就去了洗手間,他出來了
564
00:28:34,958 --> 00:28:36,958
你也太離譜了吧?一回來就偷懶
565
00:28:37,041 --> 00:28:39,125
-剛才那個女人吐…
-看你翻譯的這篇稿
566
00:28:39,416 --> 00:28:42,291
“1964年甘迺迪謀殺案”
567
00:28:42,375 --> 00:28:44,333
-是什麼東西?
-沒問題啊
568
00:28:44,541 --> 00:28:47,333
應該是“甘迺迪被謀殺案”
569
00:28:47,416 --> 00:28:48,833
你到底會不會使用文法?
570
00:28:48,916 --> 00:28:50,416
這些叫做被動詞
571
00:28:50,625 --> 00:28:51,625
跟我說一遍
572
00:28:54,541 --> 00:28:56,583
-被動詞
-拿回去改
573
00:29:02,208 --> 00:29:04,041
-好痛啊
-妳怎麼了?沒事吧?
574
00:29:04,125 --> 00:29:05,791
-我的肚子很疼
-怎麼了?
575
00:29:05,875 --> 00:29:07,666
-妳沒事吧?
-她腹瀉,肚子疼
576
00:29:07,750 --> 00:29:08,791
趕快送她去醫院
577
00:29:08,958 --> 00:29:11,500
-喂,幫幫忙
-新聞部,還有一分鐘開始直播
578
00:29:11,708 --> 00:29:14,708
總控制室,多播兩首歌
先拖延幾分鐘吧
579
00:29:14,833 --> 00:29:16,541
來…慢慢…
580
00:29:17,083 --> 00:29:18,500
-小心
-出去搽點藥吧,來
581
00:29:18,875 --> 00:29:21,000
-來
-畫面定格了,導演看著辦吧
582
00:29:22,666 --> 00:29:25,125
驃叔,待會那段財經新聞
你一併報告吧
583
00:29:25,208 --> 00:29:27,458
他來報告嗎?你還嫌不夠嚇人嗎?
584
00:29:27,541 --> 00:29:28,708
犯的錯還不夠多嗎?
585
00:29:28,791 --> 00:29:30,166
他已經犯了很多次錯誤
586
00:29:30,250 --> 00:29:31,791
這種人也能相信?
587
00:29:32,333 --> 00:29:33,541
我來報告
588
00:29:41,500 --> 00:29:43,416
新聞部直播,倒數十秒
589
00:29:43,500 --> 00:29:45,125
十、九
590
00:29:45,250 --> 00:29:46,916
八、七
591
00:29:47,416 --> 00:29:49,208
六、五
592
00:29:49,458 --> 00:29:51,333
四、三
593
00:29:51,625 --> 00:29:53,333
二、一
594
00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,541
各位觀眾,現在開始報導午間新聞
595
00:29:59,708 --> 00:30:01,583
-三、四
-四
596
00:30:01,666 --> 00:30:04,791
-五、六、七
-三、二
597
00:30:05,166 --> 00:30:07,333
-八、一…
-伸展你的手臂並向前推
598
00:30:07,416 --> 00:30:09,125
-到我老公報導新聞的時段了
-來吧
599
00:30:11,458 --> 00:30:13,875
熊貓嘟嘟證實並未懷孕
600
00:30:13,958 --> 00:30:15,541
經過上次的小產
601
00:30:15,625 --> 00:30:17,541
嘟嘟一度有懷孕的跡象
602
00:30:17,916 --> 00:30:19,250
動物園方面認為
603
00:30:19,333 --> 00:30:21,916
熊貓嘟嘟現正處於求偶期間
604
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,541
所以最近它的脾氣顯得特別暴躁
605
00:30:24,625 --> 00:30:26,333
接下來由呂摩投報導財經新聞
606
00:30:26,416 --> 00:30:27,791
給呂摩投特寫鏡頭
607
00:30:28,333 --> 00:30:30,666
本港股市方面,自從1984年8月
608
00:30:30,750 --> 00:30:31,958
開始上升以來
609
00:30:32,041 --> 00:30:33,666
不斷創出新的高峰
610
00:30:33,750 --> 00:30:36,416
恆生指數上週創下1997的記錄
611
00:30:36,500 --> 00:30:39,041
中段更加一度衝破兩千點
612
00:30:39,125 --> 00:30:40,208
多個恆生成份股
613
00:30:40,291 --> 00:30:42,541
例如長江實業、和記黃埔
614
00:30:42,625 --> 00:30:44,458
置地、九倉等等
615
00:30:44,541 --> 00:30:45,958
跟去年年尾比較起來
616
00:30:46,041 --> 00:30:47,875
均上升了一成到三成
617
00:30:48,041 --> 00:30:50,583
跟兩年前信心危機比較起來
618
00:30:50,666 --> 00:30:53,750
更加上升三到五倍,期貨方面…
619
00:30:54,041 --> 00:30:57,416
-新聞錄影棚,最後兩分鐘
-…在假期之前
620
00:30:59,458 --> 00:31:02,208
成交量也縮減到三至六…
621
00:31:02,541 --> 00:31:04,083
現貨在九月仍然是集中…
622
00:31:04,166 --> 00:31:06,041
喂,為什麼鏡頭拍到兩個人?
623
00:31:06,208 --> 00:31:08,625
-按鈕壞了
-我找人來修理吧
624
00:31:08,708 --> 00:31:10,166
-都沒人了
-行情反反覆覆
625
00:31:10,333 --> 00:31:11,375
讓兩人都上鏡算了
626
00:31:11,458 --> 00:31:13,666
技術性1930的支持率不夠…
627
00:31:13,750 --> 00:31:16,833
1930暫時還未破
628
00:31:16,916 --> 00:31:19,458
不過偏淡市來說還有五日…
629
00:31:19,541 --> 00:31:23,208
黃金買賣方面
國際金價經過昨天獲利回饋之後
630
00:31:23,291 --> 00:31:25,208
今天在亞洲市場站穩陣腳
631
00:31:25,458 --> 00:31:28,000
徘徊在330至500美元之間
632
00:31:28,875 --> 00:31:31,708
美元經過昨天反彈之後
今天又再回降
633
00:31:33,666 --> 00:31:35,958
-喂,他在幹什麼?
-我不知道
634
00:31:37,291 --> 00:31:40,375
驃叔瘋了,找人阻止他吧
635
00:31:41,666 --> 00:31:43,458
中午7.7950
636
00:31:43,541 --> 00:31:45,041
收市7.7890
637
00:31:45,125 --> 00:31:47,375
社會銀行同期拆息率是偏低的
638
00:31:47,458 --> 00:31:49,708
美國跟西德聯手減息的消息
639
00:31:49,791 --> 00:31:52,125
-對美元只是產生了短暫的支持作用
-完蛋了
640
00:31:52,208 --> 00:31:54,041
-投資者對美國的
-為什麼我也在鏡頭裡呢?
641
00:31:54,125 --> 00:31:56,083
經濟指標依然是不看好的
642
00:31:56,416 --> 00:31:58,875
今天的新聞和財經已經報導完畢
643
00:31:58,958 --> 00:32:00,458
謝謝各位收看
644
00:32:04,916 --> 00:32:05,958
你死定了
645
00:32:08,583 --> 00:32:10,583
驃叔,今天有什麼新聞?
646
00:32:10,791 --> 00:32:13,333
今天的新聞
就是我以後都不用報新聞了
647
00:32:13,416 --> 00:32:15,583
-我想見經理
-他剛剛去了外地
648
00:32:15,666 --> 00:32:17,166
我今早還看到他呢
649
00:32:17,250 --> 00:32:20,166
他剛走,要一個禮拜才回來
650
00:32:23,583 --> 00:32:24,958
保琳…
651
00:32:25,250 --> 00:32:27,916
-喂
-妳的盒子好漂亮
652
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:31,333
裡面的更漂亮
我三天前就已經做好了
653
00:32:31,416 --> 00:32:33,125
一定是妳拿第一名了
654
00:32:33,208 --> 00:32:35,250
妳存好錢請我喝慶功奶昔吧
655
00:32:35,625 --> 00:32:36,916
老師,東西要放在哪裡?
656
00:32:37,083 --> 00:32:38,750
-放在最後面的那張桌子上
-好的
657
00:32:42,833 --> 00:32:44,791
妳猜這火山是活的,還是死的?
658
00:32:44,875 --> 00:32:47,750
-我希望它是死的
-喂,妳看看
659
00:32:51,708 --> 00:32:55,208
我這個鐘的全部齒輪都是用木做的
660
00:32:57,458 --> 00:32:58,500
成功了
661
00:32:59,666 --> 00:33:01,208
為什麼妳看到什麼都發出驚訝聲呢?
662
00:33:01,291 --> 00:33:02,958
對不起
663
00:33:07,291 --> 00:33:09,041
妳別老是發出驚訝聲,好嗎?
664
00:33:09,125 --> 00:33:11,666
我忍不住嘛,給我看看妳的設計
665
00:33:11,750 --> 00:33:13,333
我想開開眼界
666
00:33:13,416 --> 00:33:14,791
先看妳那個
667
00:33:16,583 --> 00:33:17,583
妳在哪裡買的?
668
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:19,500
我自己做的
669
00:33:23,833 --> 00:33:26,083
這只是玩具,不是科學模型
670
00:33:26,166 --> 00:33:29,416
它最科學的地方就是這個馬達
671
00:33:29,583 --> 00:33:31,500
是由太陽能發電的
672
00:33:31,666 --> 00:33:34,291
-電筒也可以
-妳哥哥幫妳做的嗎?
673
00:33:34,416 --> 00:33:36,791
不是,我自己一手一腳做的
674
00:33:38,625 --> 00:33:39,916
寶琳,妳看看
675
00:33:40,166 --> 00:33:42,791
寶琳,妳設計了什麼?
676
00:33:43,041 --> 00:33:44,375
太陽系
677
00:33:44,458 --> 00:33:45,875
太陽系?
678
00:33:46,375 --> 00:33:48,791
我四年級的時候已經做過了
679
00:33:48,875 --> 00:33:52,916
我那個太陽裝了電燈泡,會發光的
680
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:55,166
九大行星可以自轉
681
00:33:55,250 --> 00:33:56,916
還有哈雷彗星
682
00:33:57,125 --> 00:34:00,625
不過,比起我這次的模型
那個算是小兒科了
683
00:34:00,875 --> 00:34:02,416
拿走吧
684
00:34:04,458 --> 00:34:07,333
我這個機械人有發聲系統的
685
00:34:09,875 --> 00:34:12,875
你出糗了
686
00:34:12,958 --> 00:34:13,833
動!
687
00:34:20,833 --> 00:34:22,125
寶琳,看著吧
688
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:29,750
-好厲害!
-好厲害!
689
00:34:29,833 --> 00:34:31,833
別拍手了,他瘋掉了
690
00:34:32,125 --> 00:34:33,125
-好厲害!
-好厲害!
691
00:34:36,125 --> 00:34:39,666
寶琳,妳破壞了我的發聲系統
692
00:34:39,791 --> 00:34:41,500
動!
693
00:34:41,583 --> 00:34:43,916
-怎麼樣?是不是壞了?
-動!
694
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,333
-動!
-動!
695
00:34:46,666 --> 00:34:50,208
動!
696
00:34:50,291 --> 00:34:52,416
老師,我能不能過兩天再交呢?
697
00:34:52,500 --> 00:34:54,708
但是比賽規定得今天上交作品呢
698
00:34:54,791 --> 00:34:58,125
我還有很多新的構思
699
00:34:58,333 --> 00:34:59,791
妳肯改進是非常正確的
700
00:34:59,875 --> 00:35:01,916
但是我必須對其他同學公平
701
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:03,500
-老師…
-要開始評分了
702
00:35:03,583 --> 00:35:04,791
回去妳的座位吧
703
00:35:07,583 --> 00:35:09,916
-工廠妹
-二索?正好吃糊
704
00:35:10,208 --> 00:35:12,541
-現在是報導午間新聞,今天…
-電視人渣
705
00:35:13,333 --> 00:35:14,333
喂,老婆
706
00:35:15,083 --> 00:35:17,375
買一隻竹絲雞
買兩梳魚翅回來燉一燉吧
707
00:35:17,458 --> 00:35:18,958
你還好意思說呢?
708
00:35:19,041 --> 00:35:22,125
你現在被人解僱了
餐餐都在吃自己的老本,你知道嗎?
709
00:35:22,208 --> 00:35:23,833
這一陣子,我整個人情緒低落
710
00:35:23,916 --> 00:35:25,583
當然想吃一些好東西嘛
711
00:35:25,833 --> 00:35:27,958
面無血色要怎麼去應徵呢?
712
00:35:28,125 --> 00:35:31,041
疾病喜歡欺負窮人的
越窮就越要進補
713
00:35:31,125 --> 00:35:32,708
對…那錢呢?
714
00:35:32,875 --> 00:35:34,583
錢?錢就沒有了
715
00:35:34,750 --> 00:35:36,541
那妳天天吃芽菜
那不是讓別人知道了我們…
716
00:35:36,625 --> 00:35:39,375
你安心好了
我已經散播消息說我要減肥
717
00:35:39,458 --> 00:35:40,916
全家一起吃減肥餐
718
00:35:41,541 --> 00:35:43,000
喂,買一塊肥叉燒吧
719
00:35:43,875 --> 00:35:45,041
快點把錢收起來
720
00:35:51,958 --> 00:35:53,958
-花花
-馮先生
721
00:35:54,041 --> 00:35:55,708
你不用向我們借錢了
722
00:35:55,791 --> 00:35:58,125
我們窮得只能用籌碼來打麻將
723
00:35:58,208 --> 00:36:00,250
-是啊…
-如果你想借錢的話
724
00:36:00,333 --> 00:36:01,875
最好去問驃叔
725
00:36:01,958 --> 00:36:04,500
-驃叔最慷慨了
-是的…
726
00:36:06,291 --> 00:36:07,250
驃叔
727
00:36:08,333 --> 00:36:10,833
驃叔,我是老馮
728
00:36:12,166 --> 00:36:14,291
-你怎麼會待在家呢?
-放長假
729
00:36:14,375 --> 00:36:16,541
沒什麼,最近我手頭緊
730
00:36:16,958 --> 00:36:18,416
老婆又離開我了
731
00:36:18,791 --> 00:36:20,041
你們豪門大戶
732
00:36:20,125 --> 00:36:22,916
真是羨煞旁人,我想…
733
00:36:23,083 --> 00:36:24,833
-你想借錢吧?
-是的…
734
00:36:24,916 --> 00:36:26,458
借錢的話,沒問題
735
00:36:27,250 --> 00:36:29,833
這邊有500塊,你先拿去花吧
736
00:36:30,125 --> 00:36:32,958
街坊之間應該守望相助
737
00:36:33,083 --> 00:36:35,375
所謂“遠親不如近鄰”
738
00:36:36,125 --> 00:36:38,750
這些不過是雪中送炭,拿去花吧
739
00:36:40,416 --> 00:36:42,375
驃叔,你說得真對
740
00:36:42,541 --> 00:36:45,708
如果每個人都好像你這樣
那我就發財了
741
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:48,541
有錢的時候記得還錢,老馮!
742
00:36:51,333 --> 00:36:53,458
驃嫂,真的很感激妳
743
00:36:53,541 --> 00:36:55,750
-怎麼了?
-在我飢寒交迫的時候
744
00:36:55,833 --> 00:36:57,833
驃叔借了500塊給我開飯
745
00:36:57,958 --> 00:36:59,583
-多謝了
-喂!
746
00:36:59,875 --> 00:37:01,833
我趕著去吃牛排,改天再聊吧
747
00:37:01,916 --> 00:37:02,791
-喂!
-驃嬸
748
00:37:02,875 --> 00:37:05,208
-驃嬸,妳跟驃叔真是好人
-是啊
749
00:37:05,291 --> 00:37:07,583
又大方,又肯幫人
750
00:37:07,666 --> 00:37:09,916
應該的…
751
00:37:10,916 --> 00:37:12,916
-臭男人
-驃叔真是好人
752
00:37:19,666 --> 00:37:21,083
大不了就不吃
753
00:37:21,708 --> 00:37:23,458
你是不是借了500塊給老馮?
754
00:37:26,875 --> 00:37:27,916
(一擊!)
755
00:37:31,625 --> 00:37:32,500
(啪嗒聲!)
756
00:37:34,500 --> 00:37:35,375
(爆炸聲!)
757
00:37:35,458 --> 00:37:36,333
(拳擊!)
758
00:37:39,500 --> 00:37:40,500
再做兩下
759
00:37:41,125 --> 00:37:42,333
往右看
760
00:37:42,416 --> 00:37:44,000
把腳縮起來…拖地了
761
00:37:44,541 --> 00:37:46,000
媽媽,別妨礙我們
762
00:37:46,083 --> 00:37:47,958
是誰在妨礙誰呢?
763
00:37:49,291 --> 00:37:50,708
是時候核對六合彩了
764
00:37:55,041 --> 00:37:57,083
我借錢給別人,你就打得我雙眼瘀青
765
00:37:57,166 --> 00:37:59,083
妳自己則浪費錢買六合彩
766
00:37:59,166 --> 00:38:01,125
你借錢給別人,是拿不回來的
767
00:38:01,208 --> 00:38:02,583
我買六合彩還能賭一把
768
00:38:02,666 --> 00:38:03,791
-媽媽
-賭一把?
769
00:38:03,875 --> 00:38:05,958
-還沒賭到,我已經吃拳頭了
-爸爸
770
00:38:06,125 --> 00:38:07,375
要是賭成了
那我不就得吃磚塊了嗎?
771
00:38:07,458 --> 00:38:09,666
喂,幹嘛當著女兒的面奚落我?
772
00:38:09,750 --> 00:38:11,291
你怕吃磚塊吧?
773
00:38:11,416 --> 00:38:13,041
那就不核對了
774
00:38:14,208 --> 00:38:16,833
-現在是開獎的過程…
-幹嘛不核對?是花錢買的!
775
00:38:16,916 --> 00:38:18,875
-好歹也賭一把運氣
-是我的
776
00:38:20,416 --> 00:38:21,791
妳買了這麼多?
777
00:38:21,875 --> 00:38:23,666
難怪我們每一餐都吃芽菜
778
00:38:23,750 --> 00:38:25,041
看好
779
00:38:26,625 --> 00:38:29,083
第一個出來的號碼就是…
780
00:38:29,166 --> 00:38:30,250
22號
781
00:38:30,333 --> 00:38:33,125
-22號…
-22號…
782
00:38:34,416 --> 00:38:36,666
這張有22號,發財了!
783
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:41,541
觀音聖母瑪利亞
784
00:38:41,625 --> 00:38:43,625
拜託你讓我中獎一次吧
785
00:38:43,708 --> 00:38:45,916
我這個人不貪心,中一次就夠了
786
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:47,791
拜託你…
787
00:38:48,208 --> 00:38:51,291
第二個出來的號碼就是6號!
788
00:38:51,375 --> 00:38:54,166
-第二個出來的…
-我又中了!
789
00:38:54,250 --> 00:38:57,541
-中了兩個號碼!
-發財了!比周潤發更發!
790
00:38:57,625 --> 00:39:00,041
第三個出來的號碼就是…
791
00:39:00,125 --> 00:39:01,083
40號!
792
00:39:01,166 --> 00:39:02,541
-第三個…
-40號
793
00:39:03,833 --> 00:39:05,166
我中了三個號碼!
794
00:39:05,250 --> 00:39:07,333
-發財了!發過《基本法》了!
-三個了!
795
00:39:07,416 --> 00:39:09,416
-冷靜!
-已經出來三個號碼了
796
00:39:09,500 --> 00:39:10,833
接下來的三個號碼
797
00:39:10,916 --> 00:39:14,000
就決定了誰是一千五百萬元的得主
798
00:39:14,083 --> 00:39:16,416
好,大家留意第四個號碼
799
00:39:16,500 --> 00:39:18,541
第四個出來的號碼就是…
800
00:39:29,291 --> 00:39:30,833
現在重複最後三個號碼
801
00:39:30,916 --> 00:39:34,250
就是30號、35號和39號
802
00:39:34,541 --> 00:39:35,958
都沒中
803
00:39:36,041 --> 00:39:38,041
只是中三個號碼就沒了
804
00:39:38,541 --> 00:39:40,041
各位,不要氣焰
805
00:39:40,291 --> 00:39:41,625
是氣餒,不是氣焰
806
00:39:41,708 --> 00:39:43,791
不要灰心,我們再組別的號碼吧
807
00:39:44,125 --> 00:39:45,291
老公,你先說
808
00:39:45,791 --> 00:39:47,541
我的心非常鬱悶,5號吧
809
00:39:47,916 --> 00:39:49,208
5號
810
00:39:49,375 --> 00:39:51,166
-10號
-10號
811
00:39:51,250 --> 00:39:53,791
-隨便說說,15號吧
-15號
812
00:39:53,958 --> 00:39:55,666
-那我選20號吧
-20號
813
00:39:55,750 --> 00:39:57,500
那我自己選25號
814
00:39:57,583 --> 00:39:59,291
老公,你多選一個號碼吧
815
00:39:59,458 --> 00:40:01,625
只是中三個號碼就完蛋了,三零吧
816
00:40:01,708 --> 00:40:03,458
30號
817
00:40:03,666 --> 00:40:06,166
老婆,如果真的中獎了
那我就不用工作了
818
00:40:06,375 --> 00:40:08,791
你想得美?明早就去找工作!
819
00:40:15,833 --> 00:40:17,791
小姐,麻煩幫我添杯咖啡
820
00:40:18,333 --> 00:40:20,125
先生,已經第六杯了
821
00:40:20,208 --> 00:40:22,500
喝這麼多咖啡,你的手不會抖嗎?
822
00:40:26,791 --> 00:40:27,958
(詢問處)
823
00:40:29,375 --> 00:40:31,291
黏人鬼,先去退房吧
824
00:40:31,875 --> 00:40:32,958
喂
825
00:40:42,375 --> 00:40:44,333
-你們好
-你真的很粘人
826
00:40:46,041 --> 00:40:47,250
(收銀處)
827
00:40:47,333 --> 00:40:49,250
遇到熟人了,妳等我一下
828
00:40:49,666 --> 00:40:50,833
不要看過來
829
00:40:53,083 --> 00:40:55,041
-驃叔,你怎麼知道我在這裡呢?
-經理
830
00:40:55,125 --> 00:40:56,541
我找你很多天了
831
00:40:56,625 --> 00:40:57,916
你竟然找到這裡來?
832
00:40:58,083 --> 00:40:59,458
我找得你很辛苦
833
00:40:59,583 --> 00:41:02,375
他們說你去了外地
想不到在這裡見到你
834
00:41:02,625 --> 00:41:03,833
又見到她
835
00:41:08,166 --> 00:41:09,916
究竟你找我有什麼事?
836
00:41:10,083 --> 00:41:11,583
她把我解僱了
837
00:41:12,083 --> 00:41:14,083
以後我就不可以追隨你左右了
838
00:41:14,333 --> 00:41:15,958
所以我覺得很不安心
839
00:41:16,041 --> 00:41:17,125
一旦不安心
840
00:41:17,208 --> 00:41:19,541
說話就會糊里糊塗
不清不楚,不三不四
841
00:41:19,625 --> 00:41:20,708
會亂說話
842
00:41:21,125 --> 00:41:23,833
你別說了,今晚馬上回新聞部復職
843
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:26,458
這樣不太好,好像我在要脅你那樣
844
00:41:26,583 --> 00:41:27,958
我不是這種人
845
00:41:28,125 --> 00:41:29,750
現在不是你要脅我
846
00:41:29,833 --> 00:41:32,750
而是我要脅你來要脅我啊
847
00:41:32,833 --> 00:41:34,166
你要脅我?
848
00:41:34,875 --> 00:41:36,166
是我要脅自己
849
00:41:36,250 --> 00:41:38,833
要脅你來要脅我
850
00:41:38,916 --> 00:41:40,541
無論如何,今晚馬上上班
851
00:41:40,625 --> 00:41:43,333
那別管誰要脅誰了,總之謝謝經理
852
00:41:44,458 --> 00:41:45,541
老婆
853
00:41:46,125 --> 00:41:48,291
-那群猴子去了哪裡?
-還沒放學
854
00:41:48,500 --> 00:41:50,166
-我說個好消息給妳聽
-什麼?
855
00:41:50,250 --> 00:41:51,416
經理說請我回去上班
856
00:41:51,500 --> 00:41:53,833
由今晚開始,我回去報新聞了
857
00:41:54,291 --> 00:41:55,791
這就好了…
858
00:41:55,875 --> 00:41:58,750
前幾天我在黃大仙那裡
求到一支上上簽
859
00:41:58,833 --> 00:42:00,375
我就知道一定會走運的
860
00:42:00,458 --> 00:42:02,500
現在守得雲開見月明了
861
00:42:02,625 --> 00:42:03,541
老公,來吧
862
00:42:05,291 --> 00:42:07,833
窩麻鮑燉天九翅,你一定喜歡吃的
863
00:42:07,916 --> 00:42:10,125
還有一支XO酒,來吧
864
00:42:17,375 --> 00:42:19,291
-老婆,妳太過分了
-怎麼了?
865
00:42:19,583 --> 00:42:21,958
我還沒上班,還沒有得到薪水
866
00:42:22,125 --> 00:42:23,875
妳那麼快就花我的錢了?
867
00:42:25,791 --> 00:42:26,833
幹嘛笑得那麼風騷?
868
00:42:27,500 --> 00:42:30,000
妳怎麼說我風騷呢?神經病
869
00:42:30,375 --> 00:42:31,791
真是風騷
870
00:42:31,875 --> 00:42:34,166
哪來這麼多錢買這些東西?
871
00:42:35,125 --> 00:42:36,500
私房錢
872
00:42:37,166 --> 00:42:40,416
妳肯用私房錢來買這麼好的東西
便宜我嗎?
873
00:42:41,250 --> 00:42:43,708
老公,我知道以前是我不好
874
00:42:43,791 --> 00:42:46,333
所以現在就給你吃個飽
875
00:42:46,583 --> 00:42:49,375
用不明來歷的錢買來的東西
我是不會吃的
876
00:42:49,625 --> 00:42:51,875
妳說,妳從哪裡得來這些骯髒錢?
877
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:53,125
骯髒錢?
878
00:42:53,291 --> 00:42:56,083
難怪妳最近笑得這麼風騷
879
00:42:56,250 --> 00:42:57,291
我明白了
880
00:42:57,375 --> 00:42:58,500
嫌我窮吧
881
00:42:58,583 --> 00:42:59,833
在外面認識了第二個男人
882
00:42:59,916 --> 00:43:02,291
神經病,我都不知道你說什麼
883
00:43:02,583 --> 00:43:04,250
這些東西值一千多塊錢
884
00:43:04,333 --> 00:43:06,750
如果妳有一千多塊,妳會拿去電髮
885
00:43:06,833 --> 00:43:10,208
打麻將,買六合彩,發妳的橫財夢
886
00:43:11,333 --> 00:43:13,375
妳見錢眼開
887
00:43:13,458 --> 00:43:14,833
財迷心竅
888
00:43:14,916 --> 00:43:15,958
拜金主義
889
00:43:16,041 --> 00:43:17,916
-妳會便宜我嗎?
-喂,去看是什麼事,快
890
00:43:18,333 --> 00:43:19,750
真是世風日下
891
00:43:19,916 --> 00:43:22,416
-為了錢,妳出賣自己的靈魂
-別這麼大聲
892
00:43:22,500 --> 00:43:24,750
-妳簡直是無恥!
-別吵!
893
00:43:25,416 --> 00:43:27,583
你這樣就是逼我向你攤牌吧?
894
00:43:28,500 --> 00:43:30,625
我也知道瞞不住你了
895
00:43:31,041 --> 00:43:32,583
妳終於肯承認了
896
00:43:33,291 --> 00:43:36,125
我說出來的話
你得承受得住這個剌激
897
00:43:36,208 --> 00:43:37,625
真的有第三者
898
00:43:37,708 --> 00:43:39,791
老實告訴你,我…
899
00:43:40,708 --> 00:43:42,375
中了六合彩
900
00:43:42,583 --> 00:43:43,458
中了…
901
00:43:44,666 --> 00:43:47,000
-聽不到,怎麼聽不到呢?
-聽不到
902
00:43:48,833 --> 00:43:50,500
老婆,妳是不是真的中了六合彩?
903
00:43:50,583 --> 00:43:52,291
-是的
-多少錢?
904
00:43:52,375 --> 00:43:54,333
拜託妳趕快告訴我多少錢?
905
00:43:54,416 --> 00:43:55,666
-多少…
-十九萬
906
00:43:55,958 --> 00:43:57,041
十九萬?
907
00:43:57,750 --> 00:43:59,416
我這輩子從未擁有過那麼多錢
908
00:43:59,500 --> 00:44:01,125
老婆,等我們把錢拿回來之後
909
00:44:01,208 --> 00:44:02,958
我們就不停地數錢…
910
00:44:03,041 --> 00:44:03,916
多數幾天
911
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:06,958
過足癮之後
就一起把錢拿去花吧,肥妹
912
00:44:07,750 --> 00:44:09,125
什麼?什麼一起花?
913
00:44:09,208 --> 00:44:11,375
這張六合彩
是我目己一個人去街上買的
914
00:44:11,458 --> 00:44:13,416
-沒你的份
-不是,老婆
915
00:44:13,500 --> 00:44:15,875
大家老夫老妻,不用分彼此了吧?
916
00:44:15,958 --> 00:44:17,375
妳的不就是我的嗎?
917
00:44:17,916 --> 00:44:20,416
我的錢是偷男人得來的,是骯髒的
918
00:44:20,500 --> 00:44:21,958
骯髒又有何要緊呢?
919
00:44:22,041 --> 00:44:24,208
我們一起把它洗乾淨不就行了
920
00:44:24,291 --> 00:44:25,333
是臭的
921
00:44:25,416 --> 00:44:27,541
香的…
922
00:44:27,708 --> 00:44:29,625
你說話都算荒謬至極了
923
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:33,500
我們女人就不會有錢了
連買六合彩都不會中獎
924
00:44:33,583 --> 00:44:36,291
老婆,我只是胡亂說話而已
925
00:44:36,375 --> 00:44:39,083
像妳這樣又怎麼偷男人呢?
926
00:44:39,291 --> 00:44:40,916
你這就是說我不夠吸引力了?
927
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:43,083
不是,妳現在很有吸引力
928
00:44:43,166 --> 00:44:44,083
老婆
929
00:44:44,333 --> 00:44:46,416
老婆,我不可以沒有你的
930
00:44:46,500 --> 00:44:48,833
我真的是死心塌地地愛妳的,老婆
931
00:44:50,750 --> 00:44:53,500
-真肉麻
-什麼都沒
932
00:44:54,583 --> 00:44:55,583
(直播中)
933
00:44:56,708 --> 00:44:58,708
十九萬,你以為錢少嗎?
934
00:44:58,958 --> 00:45:00,500
十九萬…
935
00:45:00,583 --> 00:45:03,125
驃叔,這次是最後一次機會了
936
00:45:03,208 --> 00:45:05,541
你行的話就沒問題
不行的話就自動消失吧
937
00:45:07,708 --> 00:45:10,958
我會原諒她的
她在一年裡怎能賺十九萬呢?對吧?
938
00:45:15,500 --> 00:45:16,708
請多多指教
939
00:45:19,291 --> 00:45:21,208
熊貓嘟嘟終於懷孕了
940
00:45:21,291 --> 00:45:24,083
-這件事令到動物園的人非常高興
-財經報導員請叫他說快一些
941
00:45:24,166 --> 00:45:26,083
財經之前是六合彩的消息
942
00:45:26,166 --> 00:45:27,875
今期的彩球號碼是…
943
00:45:27,958 --> 00:45:29,916
5、10、15
944
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:32,416
20、25、30
945
00:45:32,875 --> 00:45:35,250
發財了!
946
00:45:35,333 --> 00:45:37,666
-特別號碼是30
-太棒了!
947
00:45:38,375 --> 00:45:40,125
-只有一人中了頭獎
-太棒了!
948
00:45:40,208 --> 00:45:42,541
獎金是十九萬九千七百元
949
00:45:43,041 --> 00:45:44,916
-他說錯了
-不是十九萬
950
00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:46,958
-是一千九百萬
-喂,不對
951
00:45:47,041 --> 00:45:48,833
是一千九百萬
952
00:45:50,291 --> 00:45:51,291
一千九百萬?
953
00:45:51,500 --> 00:45:52,666
老婆,是不是真的?
954
00:45:52,750 --> 00:45:55,458
-真的!
-爸爸,是真的!
955
00:45:56,125 --> 00:45:57,208
一千九百萬
956
00:45:59,250 --> 00:46:01,041
-一千九百萬
-我的天啊
957
00:46:02,583 --> 00:46:03,583
你笑什麼?
958
00:46:03,708 --> 00:46:04,791
笑一下也不行嗎?
959
00:46:11,500 --> 00:46:12,958
-各位觀眾
-他…
960
00:46:13,541 --> 00:46:14,583
他又來了
961
00:46:15,666 --> 00:46:17,458
我不想再為電視台打工了
962
00:46:18,041 --> 00:46:19,750
電視台剝削機構
963
00:46:20,208 --> 00:46:21,625
欺壓底薪職員
964
00:46:21,750 --> 00:46:24,416
-浪費了我18年的青春
-喂…
965
00:46:24,500 --> 00:46:25,541
“喂”什麼?八婆!
966
00:46:25,833 --> 00:46:27,875
尤其是這些人渣
967
00:46:27,958 --> 00:46:29,500
仗著跟總經理通姦
968
00:46:29,583 --> 00:46:30,916
目中無人
969
00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:33,958
一朝得志,她就語無倫次
970
00:46:39,625 --> 00:46:41,583
笑什麼?妳真是有病
971
00:46:41,666 --> 00:46:43,541
老公,明天我們找屋子搬家吧
972
00:46:43,625 --> 00:46:46,375
我要住大屋
以後不要再住這些白鴿舍了
973
00:46:46,541 --> 00:46:47,958
我們一說要搬去大屋子住
974
00:46:48,041 --> 00:46:50,875
不就等於告訴別人我們發財了
那些人就會來跟我們借錢了啊
975
00:46:50,958 --> 00:46:53,250
搬家也可以靜悄悄的,對不對?
976
00:46:53,333 --> 00:46:54,833
先考慮一下吧,睡吧…
977
00:47:01,125 --> 00:47:02,583
喂,老婆
978
00:47:02,708 --> 00:47:04,250
反正我們都想著搬家了
979
00:47:04,333 --> 00:47:06,500
這個月無論如何也別交租給房屋署了
980
00:47:06,583 --> 00:47:07,583
實行拖租
981
00:47:07,708 --> 00:47:10,125
看在他們加租加得這麼過癮的份上
能拖一個月就一個月吧
982
00:47:10,208 --> 00:47:12,166
太好了…睡吧
983
00:47:18,166 --> 00:47:19,458
喂,老公
984
00:47:20,041 --> 00:47:23,083
從明天開始
我每天燉雞包翅給你拌飯
985
00:47:23,166 --> 00:47:25,375
龍蝦當早餐,你滿意嗎?
986
00:47:25,500 --> 00:47:27,083
很多膽固醇的
987
00:47:27,500 --> 00:47:29,291
-萬一得心臟病怎麼辦?
-你真壞
988
00:47:29,375 --> 00:47:31,583
頭一次聽你說不要吃雞包翅呢
989
00:47:31,708 --> 00:47:33,041
睡吧…
990
00:47:37,833 --> 00:47:39,000
喂,老婆
991
00:47:39,708 --> 00:47:42,708
妳記住,以後別再跟她們打麻將了
992
00:47:42,791 --> 00:47:44,916
萬一妳打得興奮起來,什麼都說漏嘴
993
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:46,833
我不會說漏嘴的
994
00:47:46,916 --> 00:47:48,416
妳會的
995
00:47:49,333 --> 00:47:50,333
這樣好了
996
00:47:50,416 --> 00:47:52,125
我明天特地拿東西去當
997
00:47:52,208 --> 00:47:54,041
讓他們以為我們很窮
這樣可以了吧?
998
00:47:54,125 --> 00:47:56,125
-這個辦法也不錯
-嗯,睡吧
999
00:48:03,500 --> 00:48:05,750
喂,你在想什麼?
1000
00:48:06,125 --> 00:48:08,083
-想什麼?
-你以為我不知道嗎?
1001
00:48:08,166 --> 00:48:10,666
飽暖思淫慾
發財了最好死老婆,對嗎?
1002
00:48:10,750 --> 00:48:13,458
老婆,妳那麼大隻,怎麼會死呢?
1003
00:48:13,541 --> 00:48:14,916
不許你想女人
1004
00:48:15,666 --> 00:48:18,500
-不想,睡吧
-“不想,睡吧”?
1005
00:48:49,125 --> 00:48:50,250
老公
1006
00:49:22,083 --> 00:49:23,041
舉手!
1007
00:49:27,875 --> 00:49:30,500
老婆,我知錯了
我發財了也不敢指望妳死了
1008
00:49:35,916 --> 00:49:39,500
米亞…
1009
00:49:43,541 --> 00:49:44,708
米亞
1010
00:49:46,083 --> 00:49:49,000
我找到米亞了,喂,米亞在那邊
1011
00:49:49,625 --> 00:49:51,041
她一個人前來的
1012
00:49:52,833 --> 00:49:55,125
姐姐,我們的新泳池有水了
1013
00:49:56,333 --> 00:49:58,125
妳的新房子,有沒有我的份呢?
1014
00:49:58,208 --> 00:50:00,416
妳那麼疼我,一定留個大房間給妳
1015
00:50:00,958 --> 00:50:02,500
這間是妳的
1016
00:50:02,875 --> 00:50:04,458
這間是老二的
1017
00:50:04,541 --> 00:50:06,708
-喂,看路啊!
-對不起
1018
00:50:07,416 --> 00:50:10,083
老大,妳去別處曬太陽吧
1019
00:50:10,166 --> 00:50:13,333
妳再在這裡曬太陽的話
我的房子就建不成了
1020
00:50:13,416 --> 00:50:15,250
除非這個沙灘上的男人都沒有腳了
1021
00:50:15,333 --> 00:50:16,291
喂!
1022
00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:19,500
笑口棗,你弄壞我的房子了!
1023
00:50:19,583 --> 00:50:21,208
對不起…
1024
00:50:23,166 --> 00:50:24,208
米亞
1025
00:50:26,166 --> 00:50:28,166
上次在餐廳是我不對
1026
00:50:28,250 --> 00:50:31,375
你走吧,小籠包
陳世美,沒有良心!
1027
00:50:31,458 --> 00:50:33,875
-去買冰淇淋吧,快點…
-姐姐,妳別心軟啊
1028
00:50:34,875 --> 00:50:37,541
餐廳的女孩子看膩了
現在來沙灘看別的女孩了嗎?
1029
00:50:37,625 --> 00:50:39,416
上次妳誤會我了
1030
00:50:39,500 --> 00:50:42,125
我只不過看女侍應腿上的那顆痣
1031
00:50:42,291 --> 00:50:43,625
一開始我還以為是蒼蠅
1032
00:50:43,708 --> 00:50:45,416
後來很好奇她為什麼不會覺得癢呢?
1033
00:50:45,500 --> 00:50:48,250
於是我認真一看,原來真的是痣
1034
00:50:48,541 --> 00:50:50,500
現在沙灘上那麼多女孩子的腳都有痣
1035
00:50:50,583 --> 00:50:51,791
你怎麼不去看是不是蒼蠅?
1036
00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:54,333
我看過了,那些不是痣
1037
00:50:54,416 --> 00:50:55,875
真的是蒼蠅
1038
00:50:57,333 --> 00:50:58,666
我懶得理你
1039
00:51:12,166 --> 00:51:14,916
兄弟!糟了,這次不行了
1040
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:17,125
不行?我的計程車更不行了
1041
00:51:17,208 --> 00:51:19,375
為了送你來,現在連車都壞了
1042
00:51:19,458 --> 00:51:20,791
回去肯定被老闆解僱了
1043
00:51:24,583 --> 00:51:26,291
做兄弟要有難同當
1044
00:51:26,458 --> 00:51:28,875
你們兩個無論如何也要幫我這一次了
1045
00:51:29,250 --> 00:51:30,416
幫啊
1046
00:51:30,625 --> 00:51:32,416
喂,那怎麼樣幫呢?
1047
00:51:37,000 --> 00:51:39,083
小妹妹,怎麼一個人那麼寂寞啊?
1048
00:51:39,166 --> 00:51:40,416
讓我來陪妳吧
1049
00:51:40,875 --> 00:51:41,833
曬得真漂亮
1050
00:51:41,916 --> 00:51:43,958
-你們幹什麼?
-我們來調戲妳的
1051
00:51:44,041 --> 00:51:47,083
妳生氣了嗎?沒有男朋友陪伴
是非常危險的哦
1052
00:51:47,166 --> 00:51:52,583
米亞,我來救妳了!
1053
00:51:55,541 --> 00:51:58,250
別害怕,我們暫時不會侵犯妳的
1054
00:51:58,333 --> 00:51:59,708
遲些就很難說了
1055
00:51:59,791 --> 00:52:02,583
米亞,我來救妳了
1056
00:52:05,458 --> 00:52:08,083
-你們究竟想怎麼樣?
-我們想要幹的事情很多
1057
00:52:08,166 --> 00:52:10,458
-不過現在還不是時候
-米亞
1058
00:52:10,541 --> 00:52:12,583
救命啊!
1059
00:52:17,333 --> 00:52:19,291
救我!
1060
00:52:20,625 --> 00:52:22,958
-笑口棗真是丟人
-走吧
1061
00:52:33,750 --> 00:52:35,083
笑口棗
1062
00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:57,708
笑口棗…
1063
00:52:59,750 --> 00:53:00,750
米亞
1064
00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:03,666
米亞,我終於救到妳了
1065
00:53:04,250 --> 00:53:06,416
-笑口棗
-米亞
1066
00:53:10,708 --> 00:53:12,083
老大!
1067
00:53:12,875 --> 00:53:14,375
老大!
1068
00:53:14,875 --> 00:53:16,333
老大!
1069
00:53:20,041 --> 00:53:21,916
什麼?你們家中了六合彩?
1070
00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:25,291
真的,有了錢
我們就可以過得更浪漫了
1071
00:53:26,041 --> 00:53:29,833
我叫爸爸給我買一艘遊艇
那我們就可以揚帆出海了
1072
00:53:29,916 --> 00:53:31,625
過我們的二人世界
1073
00:53:32,583 --> 00:53:34,333
我的米亞
1074
00:53:35,833 --> 00:53:36,750
爸爸
1075
00:53:36,833 --> 00:53:40,458
有一張明信片
是六叔從馬尼拉寄來給你的
1076
00:53:42,500 --> 00:53:44,291
看看他寫了什麼吧
1077
00:53:44,375 --> 00:53:46,083
他會有什麼好寫的呢?
1078
00:53:46,166 --> 00:53:47,833
他說他想回來香港
1079
00:53:47,916 --> 00:53:50,125
到時想約你吃個晚飯,見個面
1080
00:53:50,208 --> 00:53:53,041
好,妳替我寫封回信給他
叫他自己吃吧
1081
00:53:53,500 --> 00:53:56,958
爸爸,你們是兩兄弟
為什麼不要跟他吃飯呢?
1082
00:53:57,041 --> 00:53:59,125
你經常都跟自己討厭的人吃飯啊
1083
00:53:59,208 --> 00:54:01,666
那不同,妳媽媽是我的老婆
1084
00:54:01,791 --> 00:54:04,166
我真不明白你為什麼
那麼討厭六叔呢?
1085
00:54:04,250 --> 00:54:05,500
妳當然不明白
1086
00:54:05,583 --> 00:54:08,208
妳沒有試過被人用辣椒油倒在褲子上
1087
00:54:08,291 --> 00:54:09,958
睡覺的時候被人劃兩個黑眼圈
1088
00:54:10,041 --> 00:54:12,041
爸爸,你不是那麼小氣吧?
1089
00:54:12,125 --> 00:54:15,083
最離譜的是那一次
故意在我生日那天
1090
00:54:15,250 --> 00:54:17,541
他當著所有親戚朋友的面
1091
00:54:17,666 --> 00:54:20,458
迎面把蛋糕蓋到我的臉上
1092
00:54:25,500 --> 00:54:26,958
他就笑得風涼啦
1093
00:54:27,041 --> 00:54:29,791
他最喜歡把快樂建築在我的痛苦之上
1094
00:54:34,083 --> 00:54:36,291
爸爸,我想買隻遊艇
1095
00:54:36,375 --> 00:54:37,333
好,買吧
1096
00:54:37,500 --> 00:54:39,708
爸爸,你真好,謝謝你
1097
00:54:40,083 --> 00:54:41,916
不用謝我,妳自己出錢買的嘛
1098
00:54:42,500 --> 00:54:45,958
-我是說那兩千萬
-我的錢是拿來這樣用的嗎?
1099
00:54:46,125 --> 00:54:48,458
-爸爸…
-爸爸,我有事要跟你商量
1100
00:54:48,541 --> 00:54:49,958
-爸爸…
-妳沒得商量
1101
00:54:50,041 --> 00:54:51,666
妳有得商量,再見
1102
00:54:52,083 --> 00:54:55,291
聖誕節我約了兩個朋友
去曰本聽演唱會…
1103
00:54:55,375 --> 00:54:56,333
不行
1104
00:54:56,875 --> 00:54:57,791
我…
1105
00:54:57,875 --> 00:54:59,291
我都還沒說完
1106
00:54:59,541 --> 00:55:01,250
對我來說,妳已經說完了
1107
00:55:01,416 --> 00:55:03,458
我約好了朋友去旅行
1108
00:55:03,666 --> 00:55:05,125
旅行?去新娘潭吧
1109
00:55:05,875 --> 00:55:07,333
你怕我把你的錢花光而已嘛
1110
00:55:07,416 --> 00:55:10,083
幾個女孩子去日本,很不安全的
1111
00:55:10,208 --> 00:55:11,625
不會的
1112
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:14,958
我們去聽安全地帶的表演
那裡很安全的
1113
00:55:15,125 --> 00:55:17,958
-妳會說日語嗎?
-說英語不就行了
1114
00:55:18,041 --> 00:55:21,291
曰本人說英文只有曰本人才聽得懂
1115
00:55:21,375 --> 00:55:23,208
日本浴室是男女共浴
1116
00:55:23,291 --> 00:55:25,375
曰本男人到處小便
1117
00:55:25,458 --> 00:55:27,250
妳不能去這種地方的
1118
00:55:27,416 --> 00:55:29,125
我們只是去原宿學藝
1119
00:55:29,208 --> 00:55:31,708
去學松田聖子、菊池桃子
1120
00:55:31,958 --> 00:55:33,833
如果我紅了,你就發財了
1121
00:55:33,916 --> 00:55:36,958
最怕妳學岡田有希子跳樓自殺
1122
00:55:37,125 --> 00:55:39,125
我去了解曰本的文化和歷史
1123
00:55:39,208 --> 00:55:41,000
歷史?妳還說歷史?
1124
00:55:41,083 --> 00:55:43,000
任何歷史都被日本人改掉了
1125
00:55:43,083 --> 00:55:45,166
記得九一八、一二八、香港三年零八
1126
00:55:45,250 --> 00:55:47,041
-爸爸,你別那麼八
-還有啊
1127
00:55:47,125 --> 00:55:49,416
霸佔了我們釣魚台
讓我們沒地方釣魚
1128
00:55:49,500 --> 00:55:52,166
妳別想去日本了
聖誕節跟我回鄉下吧
1129
00:55:52,250 --> 00:55:53,125
-回鄉下?
-回鄉下?
1130
00:55:53,208 --> 00:55:55,166
不好嗎?在親戚面前炫耀一次
1131
00:55:55,250 --> 00:55:56,500
衣錦還鄉
1132
00:55:57,375 --> 00:55:58,583
那麼老土
1133
00:56:02,875 --> 00:56:04,541
去看看是不是老馮
如果他來借錢的話
1134
00:56:04,625 --> 00:56:05,875
-說我不在
-知道了
1135
00:56:16,208 --> 00:56:18,500
老公,你看我漂不漂亮?
1136
00:56:19,625 --> 00:56:21,375
-彩虹之頭
-看看妳把頭髮弄成這樣
1137
00:56:21,458 --> 00:56:23,500
我又剪又燙,再加上挑染
1138
00:56:23,583 --> 00:56:25,041
才兩千多塊
1139
00:56:25,125 --> 00:56:26,541
妳真是敗家
1140
00:56:26,708 --> 00:56:28,625
這是法國夜巴黎,香不香?
1141
00:56:29,333 --> 00:56:31,416
還有一件泳裝比基尼呢
1142
00:56:31,500 --> 00:56:34,083
是我的,我今年也要穿一次
1143
00:56:34,166 --> 00:56:36,541
這樣才算跟得上潮流
1144
00:56:36,625 --> 00:56:38,583
-妳想去哪個海灘?早點告訴我
-好啊
1145
00:56:38,666 --> 00:56:41,291
-讓我叫他們先掛上紅旗
-你真是神經病
1146
00:56:41,500 --> 00:56:43,958
妳看妳的頭,好像北獅那樣,悲哀啊
1147
00:56:44,333 --> 00:56:47,041
當初我娶妳都是因為妳樸素
1148
00:56:47,125 --> 00:56:50,083
現在妳變成了衣服的奴隸
化妝品的囚徒
1149
00:56:50,166 --> 00:56:51,875
姐姐,幫我搽
1150
00:56:51,958 --> 00:56:54,250
喂,小妹,小心一點!
裡面有一顆鑽石的
1151
00:56:54,333 --> 00:56:56,166
-要三千多塊一瓶
-老婆
1152
00:56:56,333 --> 00:56:58,958
人穿衣服是為了要禦寒
1153
00:56:59,041 --> 00:57:02,708
人的價值不是由衣服看出來的
1154
00:57:02,916 --> 00:57:05,916
做人要有內涵,講究內在美
1155
00:57:06,000 --> 00:57:07,958
國貨公司之所以能夠屹立不倒
1156
00:57:08,041 --> 00:57:09,916
因為它的東西又耐用又實用
1157
00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:12,708
喂,我們剛剛中了兩千多萬
1158
00:57:12,791 --> 00:57:14,416
難道把錢帶進棺材嗎?
1159
00:57:14,500 --> 00:57:16,125
真是婦人之見
1160
00:57:16,291 --> 00:57:18,250
我們家每個人都沒有收入
1161
00:57:18,375 --> 00:57:20,541
兩千萬只夠我們五個人吃來過日子
1162
00:57:20,625 --> 00:57:22,333
-爸爸…
-所以這些錢不可以亂花
1163
00:57:22,416 --> 00:57:25,208
-爸爸…
-整天追求享受,會迷失目己的
1164
00:57:25,291 --> 00:57:27,541
無所謂,反正我經常迷路
1165
00:57:27,625 --> 00:57:30,500
今天妳要買遊艇,明天妳要買郵船
1166
00:57:30,708 --> 00:57:32,958
今天說東遊,明天妳就“大話西遊”
1167
00:57:33,041 --> 00:57:34,708
-爸爸…
-今天妳變北獅
1168
00:57:34,791 --> 00:57:36,208
明天妳就變河東獅
1169
00:57:36,291 --> 00:57:38,541
喂,老實說
剛才我已經看中了一間屋子
1170
00:57:38,625 --> 00:57:40,416
買屋子?我們這裡有什麼不好呢?
1171
00:57:40,500 --> 00:57:42,250
月租500塊,上哪裡找這樣的屋子?
真是的
1172
00:57:42,333 --> 00:57:44,083
喂,剛才我還挑了一輛賓士
1173
00:57:44,166 --> 00:57:47,291
買車容易,養車難,一闊三大
1174
00:57:47,375 --> 00:57:50,083
妳們聽著,我打算投資移民
1175
00:57:50,166 --> 00:57:53,250
爸,你說過為四個現代化而努力
1176
00:57:53,333 --> 00:57:54,416
妳懂什麼?
1177
00:57:54,500 --> 00:57:57,041
我們現在這麼富有
萬一將來被人清算怎麼辦?
1178
00:57:57,125 --> 00:57:58,250
君子不立危牆之下
1179
00:57:58,333 --> 00:58:01,583
-現在不走,還待何時?什麼?
-喂,你這樣就不對了
1180
00:58:01,666 --> 00:58:03,416
想當初,我們每個人選一個號碼
1181
00:58:03,500 --> 00:58:05,000
這筆錢大家都有份花的
1182
00:58:05,083 --> 00:58:06,208
妳太善忘了
1183
00:58:06,291 --> 00:58:08,500
當初選號碼,我選了兩個
1184
00:58:08,583 --> 00:58:11,041
我是大股東,我有發言權
1185
00:58:11,125 --> 00:58:12,708
抉擇權、行使權
1186
00:58:12,791 --> 00:58:15,041
抗議!我們要民主
1187
00:58:15,125 --> 00:58:16,875
我們中國人不流行這一套
1188
00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:18,791
我們要自由
1189
00:58:18,875 --> 00:58:20,666
銀行的戶口沒錢,看妳怎麼自由?
1190
00:58:20,750 --> 00:58:24,250
-爸爸,你當是我欠你的吧
-我算過了
1191
00:58:24,375 --> 00:58:27,041
由小到大,妳欠我三十六萬八千元
1192
00:58:27,125 --> 00:58:28,125
-妳更多
-爸…
1193
00:58:28,250 --> 00:58:29,416
-還有妳
-我?
1194
00:58:29,500 --> 00:58:31,000
妳也欠我十三萬八千元
1195
00:58:31,666 --> 00:58:33,500
我會在妳們的股份裡扣除
1196
00:58:33,583 --> 00:58:34,541
從明天起
1197
00:58:34,625 --> 00:58:37,291
每人每天只有36塊錢可以花
1198
00:58:39,333 --> 00:58:41,666
-做又36…
-不做又是36?
1199
00:59:17,625 --> 00:59:18,875
臭男人
1200
00:59:38,666 --> 00:59:39,708
神經病
1201
00:59:39,791 --> 00:59:41,166
瘋子
1202
01:00:05,875 --> 01:00:09,000
我難道不用走出來嗎?
你當我是什麼人啊?真是的
1203
01:00:09,083 --> 01:00:11,750
那東西放在哪了?跟你要…
1204
01:00:45,125 --> 01:00:46,000
老婆
1205
01:00:48,500 --> 01:00:49,375
老婆
1206
01:00:50,041 --> 01:00:50,875
老婆
1207
01:00:50,958 --> 01:00:52,416
老婆,還是妳最好
1208
01:00:52,708 --> 01:00:55,416
我當然好了,睡吧
1209
01:00:58,125 --> 01:01:00,791
去到那裡有許多汽水可以喝
就不用喝家裡的汽水了
1210
01:01:05,250 --> 01:01:06,958
這套西裝很漂亮
1211
01:01:08,666 --> 01:01:11,041
老馮,其實我們並沒有那麼風光
1212
01:01:11,125 --> 01:01:13,333
穿得這麼好看,其實只是徒有虛表
1213
01:01:13,416 --> 01:01:15,916
現在因為要去喝喜宴
所以只好打腫臉充胖子了
1214
01:01:16,000 --> 01:01:17,375
其實我們很窮
1215
01:01:17,583 --> 01:01:18,958
你千萬別誤會
1216
01:01:19,083 --> 01:01:20,083
走吧
1217
01:01:20,958 --> 01:01:22,083
-你知道就好了
-走吧
1218
01:01:22,166 --> 01:01:23,958
-不過鄰居知道了也不打緊
-走吧
1219
01:01:25,208 --> 01:01:26,791
他是不是要我還錢呢?
1220
01:01:27,208 --> 01:01:28,833
看,是游泳表演呢
1221
01:01:29,833 --> 01:01:31,833
-來,喝杯飲料吧
-謝謝
1222
01:01:34,666 --> 01:01:38,166
-我這兩個女兒學韻律泳才三個多月
-是嗎?
1223
01:01:38,458 --> 01:01:41,208
敎練就叫她們代表香港去比賽了
1224
01:01:41,500 --> 01:01:45,250
-是嗎?
-他們這個游泳的動作叫做“龍蝦”
1225
01:01:45,541 --> 01:01:47,375
-你看看像不像?
-很像
1226
01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:49,916
神經病,請我們來
1227
01:01:50,000 --> 01:01:52,000
連汽水也不請我們喝
1228
01:01:52,500 --> 01:01:54,291
何必這麼生氣呢?
1229
01:01:54,791 --> 01:01:57,875
我們現在是兩千萬富翁
他們只有幾百萬
1230
01:01:57,958 --> 01:01:59,791
大方一些,別跟他們計較
1231
01:01:59,875 --> 01:02:02,041
現在香港的物價真是嚇了我一跳
1232
01:02:02,375 --> 01:02:04,041
你這間別墅這麼貴
1233
01:02:04,333 --> 01:02:06,333
表哥,你這次真是大手筆了
1234
01:02:06,458 --> 01:02:08,875
一輩子裡有一半以上的時間
是要待在屋子裡的
1235
01:02:08,958 --> 01:02:11,125
住得不舒服,那不是對自己刻薄嗎?
1236
01:02:13,291 --> 01:02:14,208
大哥
1237
01:02:15,958 --> 01:02:16,916
小叔
1238
01:02:17,791 --> 01:02:19,833
約翰,上去跟你大哥敘敘舊吧
1239
01:02:19,916 --> 01:02:21,208
-來吧
-老公
1240
01:02:21,291 --> 01:02:23,291
-那是你的親弟弟
-老公…
1241
01:02:24,541 --> 01:02:27,083
原來大表哥、大表嫂,你們來了
1242
01:02:27,166 --> 01:02:29,291
你們坐在這裡,我都沒看到你們呢
1243
01:02:29,500 --> 01:02:33,208
妳那雙眼睛長得這麼高
怎麼會看到我們呢?
1244
01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:36,041
大哥、大嫂
1245
01:02:36,125 --> 01:02:39,500
-小叔
-難得今天有這麼多親友賞臉光臨
1246
01:02:39,583 --> 01:02:41,791
真的是“富在深山有遠親
1247
01:02:41,875 --> 01:02:44,166
窮在鬧市都無人過問”
1248
01:02:45,083 --> 01:02:46,833
幸好現在我們不是窮人了
1249
01:02:46,916 --> 01:02:50,041
大表嫂,妳這件旗袍真是漂亮
1250
01:02:50,291 --> 01:02:53,375
上兩次赴宴,好像都看妳穿過了
1251
01:02:53,541 --> 01:02:55,083
手工那麼好
1252
01:02:55,166 --> 01:02:58,083
難怪妳每次赴宴都穿這件旗袍
1253
01:02:58,333 --> 01:02:59,875
我打算這次是最後一次穿了
1254
01:02:59,958 --> 01:03:01,791
天氣一旦轉涼,我就會穿皮草了
1255
01:03:01,875 --> 01:03:03,083
這麼大手筆嗎?
1256
01:03:03,583 --> 01:03:06,125
如果不是的話
如何能襯得起我兩千萬的身家呢?
1257
01:03:06,291 --> 01:03:08,041
-兩千萬?
-兩千萬?
1258
01:03:08,125 --> 01:03:11,166
-是的,我前兩天才中…
-她前兩天才中風
1259
01:03:11,291 --> 01:03:12,833
現在有些語無倫次
1260
01:03:12,916 --> 01:03:15,000
-神經病,你才中風
-我們先去招呼客人
1261
01:03:15,125 --> 01:03:16,333
招呼不週,請見諒
1262
01:03:18,125 --> 01:03:20,416
媽媽,這裡的游泳池很大
1263
01:03:20,500 --> 01:03:23,291
不用羨慕,將來我們的游泳池更大
1264
01:03:23,375 --> 01:03:24,833
是她說的,我沒有說過
1265
01:03:26,083 --> 01:03:27,958
-快叫六叔吧
-六叔
1266
01:03:29,458 --> 01:03:30,666
是最小的女兒嗎?
1267
01:03:31,333 --> 01:03:33,875
好久沒見了,有空來聚一聚
1268
01:03:34,291 --> 01:03:37,166
算是替你洗塵,老公,好嗎?
1269
01:03:39,708 --> 01:03:42,333
不如明天我請你們全家出去吃飯吧?
1270
01:03:43,250 --> 01:03:44,708
出去吃就不必了
1271
01:03:46,208 --> 01:03:47,750
明晚來我家吃飯吧
1272
01:03:49,041 --> 01:03:51,625
好,那我明天來打擾你們了
1273
01:03:52,166 --> 01:03:54,916
-不打擾,最重要是你一定得到
-早點到啊
1274
01:03:58,250 --> 01:04:00,333
-玉置浩二
-玉置浩二
1275
01:04:01,250 --> 01:04:02,791
喂,不夠大聲
1276
01:04:04,500 --> 01:04:06,666
喂,小聲一點
1277
01:04:14,583 --> 01:04:16,041
妳的電視機怎麼那麼差?
1278
01:04:16,125 --> 01:04:18,250
-我搭計程車回家看吧
-我也要去
1279
01:04:18,916 --> 01:04:20,375
-真是老土
-喂,去日本的那件事
1280
01:04:20,458 --> 01:04:22,958
-趕快說服妳的爸爸
-否則我們不等妳了
1281
01:04:27,541 --> 01:04:28,750
再見,小弟弟
1282
01:04:35,750 --> 01:04:37,375
小聲一點,八婆!
1283
01:04:41,500 --> 01:04:43,208
妳再不把音響關掉
我就炸了妳的房子
1284
01:05:31,333 --> 01:05:34,000
你轉了性子嗎?
真的請弟弟回來吃飯嗎?
1285
01:05:34,208 --> 01:05:36,541
對啊,而且要準備好東西給他享用
1286
01:05:36,625 --> 01:05:37,916
走開!
1287
01:05:39,541 --> 01:05:41,375
-女兒,怎麼了?
-米亞
1288
01:05:41,541 --> 01:05:43,291
-不是說去看電影嗎?
-都是他的錯
1289
01:05:43,375 --> 01:05:45,708
剛才買票的時候
他目不轉睛地盯著售票員看
1290
01:05:45,791 --> 01:05:47,875
喂,你真是色!
1291
01:05:47,958 --> 01:05:48,875
不是的
1292
01:05:49,041 --> 01:05:50,666
我只是盯著她的痣看
1293
01:05:50,750 --> 01:05:52,458
最近我在研究相學
1294
01:05:52,541 --> 01:05:55,208
書裡面說人的痣長在不同部位
1295
01:05:55,291 --> 01:05:57,041
就有不同的人生啟示
1296
01:05:57,125 --> 01:05:59,166
那你為什麼盯著她的胸部看呢?
1297
01:05:59,375 --> 01:06:02,791
-因為她的胸口有兩顆痣
-每個人胸口都有兩顆痣
1298
01:06:02,875 --> 01:06:04,166
但是她那兩顆特別大
1299
01:06:04,250 --> 01:06:05,750
這種相就叫做胸懷大志
1300
01:06:05,833 --> 01:06:07,541
喂,你很好色!
1301
01:06:07,708 --> 01:06:11,166
不是好色,那名售票員是一個男人
1302
01:06:12,500 --> 01:06:14,291
你很像同性戀啊
1303
01:06:14,875 --> 01:06:15,875
是男人嗎?
1304
01:06:16,625 --> 01:06:17,500
怎麼我不知道呢?
1305
01:06:17,583 --> 01:06:19,083
笑口棗,讓我來訪問你
1306
01:06:19,250 --> 01:06:20,833
你究竟喜歡男人還是女人?
1307
01:06:20,916 --> 01:06:23,041
-當然是女人了
-有什麼證據呢?
1308
01:06:23,291 --> 01:06:25,375
我喜歡米亞
1309
01:06:25,916 --> 01:06:28,041
-我喜歡你的女兒啊
-非禮!
1310
01:06:29,375 --> 01:06:30,458
你這個色情狂
1311
01:06:30,541 --> 01:06:32,958
你這個油脂仔以後不准來找我女兒
1312
01:06:33,041 --> 01:06:33,875
女兒
1313
01:06:33,958 --> 01:06:36,166
選男朋友呢,有錢沒錢都無所謂
1314
01:06:36,250 --> 01:06:38,208
最緊要是他疼妳,對妳好
1315
01:06:38,291 --> 01:06:39,791
這種男人啊,送給我都不要
1316
01:06:39,875 --> 01:06:41,083
米亞!
1317
01:06:58,375 --> 01:07:00,833
-歡迎大家收看《動物奇觀》
-男人真是卑鄙
1318
01:07:05,333 --> 01:07:07,416
這部電視機應該送去解剖了
1319
01:07:08,416 --> 01:07:09,791
(入、入、出、影、音)
1320
01:07:09,916 --> 01:07:10,750
聲音
1321
01:07:15,416 --> 01:07:16,458
神經病
1322
01:07:16,541 --> 01:07:17,375
畫面
1323
01:07:17,458 --> 01:07:20,458
這個就是非洲的狒狒
雖然它只有幾個月大
1324
01:07:20,541 --> 01:07:22,041
你看看它多可愛呢
1325
01:07:22,750 --> 01:07:24,666
全部開啟,這次你肯定完蛋了
1326
01:07:28,041 --> 01:07:29,791
為什麼老二會上電視呢?
1327
01:07:34,083 --> 01:07:35,125
為什麼會這樣?
1328
01:07:36,166 --> 01:07:37,708
這個歌星怎麼那麼面熟呢?
1329
01:07:37,791 --> 01:07:39,291
驃叔的女兒上電視了
1330
01:07:39,833 --> 01:07:41,125
該死
1331
01:07:43,208 --> 01:07:44,708
看完了非洲的狒狒
1332
01:07:44,791 --> 01:07:46,958
下次的《動物奇觀》會帶大家去看
1333
01:07:47,041 --> 01:07:48,541
丹麥的金絲貓
1334
01:07:53,208 --> 01:07:54,916
真是老土
1335
01:07:56,500 --> 01:07:57,375
怎麼會這樣?
1336
01:07:57,583 --> 01:07:59,791
-我不知道
-話別的一剎那
1337
01:07:59,875 --> 01:08:01,958
-始終要說
-大情聖駕到!
1338
01:08:02,041 --> 01:08:06,583
我心底裡心底裡的一句
1339
01:08:06,666 --> 01:08:08,708
愛情…
1340
01:08:08,791 --> 01:08:09,666
真該死
1341
01:08:09,750 --> 01:08:11,416
愛情…
1342
01:08:11,583 --> 01:08:12,833
摸什麼呢?
1343
01:08:12,916 --> 01:08:14,708
-難聽死了,死人
-深深愛妳
1344
01:08:15,083 --> 01:08:16,708
心中愛妳
1345
01:08:16,791 --> 01:08:20,291
不管妳要說再回
1346
01:08:20,375 --> 01:08:22,333
-愛情…
-趕快摸牌吧
1347
01:08:22,666 --> 01:08:24,875
愛情…
1348
01:08:25,458 --> 01:08:26,458
自摸!
1349
01:08:26,666 --> 01:08:29,166
-自摸了
-唱什麼?真倒霉
1350
01:08:29,250 --> 01:08:31,375
-深深愛妳,心中愛妳
-死油脂仔!
1351
01:08:31,458 --> 01:08:33,458
-我跟你絕交,你去死吧!
-不管妳…
1352
01:08:33,583 --> 01:08:35,833
-要說再回
-幹嘛死?他還很有利用價值呢
1353
01:08:36,416 --> 01:08:38,208
愛情…
1354
01:08:38,291 --> 01:08:40,041
笑口棗,摸什麼呢?
1355
01:08:40,791 --> 01:08:43,000
-你是不是很喜歡我的女兒?
-當然喜歡了
1356
01:08:43,333 --> 01:08:44,791
去別邊拍吧
1357
01:08:46,583 --> 01:08:48,916
-你得答應我去辦一件事
-答應你?
1358
01:08:49,375 --> 01:08:50,625
我喜歡的不是你
1359
01:08:50,708 --> 01:08:53,333
你喜歡我的女兒
那你要不要過我這一關呢?
1360
01:08:53,958 --> 01:08:55,708
要的…伯父,你說吧
1361
01:08:55,916 --> 01:08:57,291
那你明天有空嗎?
1362
01:08:57,625 --> 01:08:58,666
很難說呢
1363
01:08:58,750 --> 01:09:01,583
如果下午有事要辦,我上午就有空
1364
01:09:01,666 --> 01:09:04,000
如果上午有事要辦,我下午就有空
1365
01:09:04,083 --> 01:09:06,750
如果上下午有事要辦
我就晚上才有空
1366
01:09:06,833 --> 01:09:09,000
-那你明天有事要辦嗎?
-明天是星期天
1367
01:09:09,083 --> 01:09:10,416
一整天都有空
1368
01:09:11,041 --> 01:09:13,083
那你拿紙筆出來先記下
1369
01:09:14,166 --> 01:09:16,833
明天先去借一套糕餅店送貨員的制服
1370
01:09:16,916 --> 01:09:19,333
-然後替我送個蛋糕
-要不要打領帶呢?
1371
01:09:19,625 --> 01:09:21,833
-是否有打領帶都沒關係
-有關係
1372
01:09:21,916 --> 01:09:24,166
打領帶,穿得整齊一點,會收到小費
1373
01:09:24,250 --> 01:09:27,208
你不會收到小費的
你去買一個奶油蛋糕
1374
01:09:27,375 --> 01:09:29,708
-要不要寫“生日快樂”?
-什麼都不用寫
1375
01:09:29,791 --> 01:09:31,041
最重要的是多放一些奶油
1376
01:09:31,125 --> 01:09:33,458
不打領帶,沒有小費
1377
01:09:33,583 --> 01:09:35,250
多放一些奶油
1378
01:09:35,333 --> 01:09:37,458
到時候把蛋糕送上來我家
1379
01:09:37,541 --> 01:09:39,375
送上來我家
1380
01:09:39,583 --> 01:09:41,666
-是我家
-就是我家嘛
1381
01:09:41,958 --> 01:09:43,375
好吧,就寫你家吧
1382
01:09:43,583 --> 01:09:45,000
就寫你家吧
1383
01:09:45,541 --> 01:09:46,958
認住這個人
1384
01:09:47,166 --> 01:09:50,250
—見到他
就迎面把蛋糕蓋到他的臉上
1385
01:09:50,958 --> 01:09:52,291
這下過癮了
1386
01:09:52,833 --> 01:09:54,458
難怪沒有小費
1387
01:09:57,750 --> 01:09:59,416
這個機會等了十年
1388
01:10:01,166 --> 01:10:02,041
大哥
1389
01:10:05,000 --> 01:10:06,625
你以為還是以前嗎?
1390
01:10:06,708 --> 01:10:08,458
-小叔
-來弟,來吧
1391
01:10:08,541 --> 01:10:10,750
-叫小叔,這個是我的二女兒
-小叔
1392
01:10:10,833 --> 01:10:12,375
那個是我的大女兒帶弟
1393
01:10:14,083 --> 01:10:15,291
六叔
1394
01:10:16,000 --> 01:10:16,958
她幹什麼?
1395
01:10:17,041 --> 01:10:20,041
她跟男朋友吵架
成天哭哭啼啼的,真是丟臉
1396
01:10:20,125 --> 01:10:21,375
-小叔
-乖
1397
01:10:21,458 --> 01:10:22,541
這些禮物是送給你們的
1398
01:10:22,625 --> 01:10:23,875
-謝謝小叔
-快道謝吧
1399
01:10:23,958 --> 01:10:25,666
喂,小心裡面裝了死老鼠
1400
01:10:26,125 --> 01:10:27,833
你還記得這些醜事?
1401
01:10:28,250 --> 01:10:29,625
當然記得了
1402
01:10:29,708 --> 01:10:32,958
跟你一起長大,我簡直是忍辱偷生
1403
01:10:33,041 --> 01:10:34,500
老公,別這樣
1404
01:10:35,375 --> 01:10:38,541
大哥,我為以前的事向你道歉
1405
01:10:39,041 --> 01:10:40,750
你從來都不肯向人道歉的
1406
01:10:40,833 --> 01:10:43,416
我今天一定要說,因為…
1407
01:10:43,791 --> 01:10:45,166
我時日無多
1408
01:10:45,833 --> 01:10:47,208
就快不久於人世
1409
01:10:47,625 --> 01:10:49,500
又不知耍什麼花樣來作弄我們了
1410
01:10:49,916 --> 01:10:51,208
我這次是說真的
1411
01:10:52,500 --> 01:10:53,791
我患了腳癌
1412
01:10:54,833 --> 01:10:56,458
醫生說我只剩下幾個月的命
1413
01:10:58,583 --> 01:10:59,875
你們是我最親的人
1414
01:11:00,375 --> 01:11:02,458
所以今晚一定要告訴你們兩個
1415
01:11:03,041 --> 01:11:04,750
好啊!太棒了!
1416
01:11:04,833 --> 01:11:06,666
我真高興!
1417
01:11:09,875 --> 01:11:12,625
真可憐,那麼年輕而且還沒娶老婆
1418
01:11:13,666 --> 01:11:15,583
我一直都當他是仇人
1419
01:11:15,750 --> 01:11:17,458
不曾好好地待他
1420
01:11:17,916 --> 01:11:19,833
這次見面,可能是最後一次
1421
01:11:22,125 --> 01:11:23,958
忍住,不要哭出來
1422
01:11:24,041 --> 01:11:25,500
我忍不住
1423
01:11:29,958 --> 01:11:32,500
-帶弟,妳吃不吃得下飯?
-約翰,我們吃飯吧,坐吧
1424
01:11:32,583 --> 01:11:34,625
-幸好沒煮妳的份
-一起坐吧
1425
01:11:34,708 --> 01:11:36,291
來弟,妳去看看湯煲好了嗎?
1426
01:11:38,125 --> 01:11:39,000
(米亞)
1427
01:11:40,666 --> 01:11:41,958
-吃飯吧,小叔
-好的
1428
01:11:43,958 --> 01:11:46,625
大哥、大嫂,你們有沒有打算
買屋子和買車呢?
1429
01:11:46,708 --> 01:11:48,625
有…你有什麼門路呢?
1430
01:11:49,000 --> 01:11:52,166
我在恒豐銀行做了十幾年
還剩很多優惠配額
1431
01:11:52,250 --> 01:11:53,458
我可以全給你們
1432
01:11:53,541 --> 01:11:56,416
那麼買車和買屋子的利息
會算得非常低
1433
01:11:57,208 --> 01:11:59,625
希望大哥、大嫂能夠接受我這份心意
1434
01:11:59,875 --> 01:12:02,125
-喝碗雞腳湯,以形補形
-好啊
1435
01:12:03,250 --> 01:12:04,375
趕快坐下吧
1436
01:12:04,791 --> 01:12:05,958
吃飯吧
1437
01:12:12,250 --> 01:12:14,000
你們怎麼吃飯吃得這麼悶?
1438
01:12:14,375 --> 01:12:16,916
我來說個笑話給你們聽吧,很好笑的
1439
01:12:17,125 --> 01:12:18,083
好啊
1440
01:12:18,166 --> 01:12:21,208
從前有個傻子,他左腳患了癌症
1441
01:12:22,208 --> 01:12:23,458
這是笑話嗎?
1442
01:12:23,708 --> 01:12:25,208
很好笑的
1443
01:12:25,583 --> 01:12:28,625
那個病人去醫院做手術
切了一隻左腳
1444
01:12:28,708 --> 01:12:30,041
手術之後
1445
01:12:30,208 --> 01:12:31,500
病人一醒來
1446
01:12:31,583 --> 01:12:33,625
見到醫生愁眉苦臉地對著他說
1447
01:12:33,708 --> 01:12:36,583
那個醫生說:“我有一個好消息
一個壞消息
1448
01:12:36,750 --> 01:12:38,166
你想先聽哪個?”
1449
01:12:38,250 --> 01:12:41,958
病人就說:“先說個壞消息來聽吧”
1450
01:12:42,041 --> 01:12:44,125
醫生說:“壞消息就是
1451
01:12:44,208 --> 01:12:46,416
我切錯了你的右腳”
1452
01:12:49,750 --> 01:12:50,916
那好消息呢?
1453
01:12:51,916 --> 01:12:55,500
醫生說:“好消息就是
你左腳沒有患癌”
1454
01:13:00,958 --> 01:13:02,750
-進來幫我倒醬油
-跟我去拿醬油碟
1455
01:13:02,833 --> 01:13:05,291
-倒醬油而已,哪需要四個人去呢?
-你先坐坐
1456
01:13:05,541 --> 01:13:07,291
我告訴妳,別亂說話
1457
01:13:07,375 --> 01:13:08,916
我們今晚要好好地對待他
1458
01:13:09,000 --> 01:13:11,000
不止今晚,以後也是這樣
1459
01:13:12,666 --> 01:13:13,625
讓我去開門吧
1460
01:13:16,166 --> 01:13:17,041
你找哪位?
1461
01:13:19,208 --> 01:13:20,958
-找你
-笑口棗,不要!
1462
01:13:25,458 --> 01:13:26,750
是他了…
1463
01:13:26,833 --> 01:13:28,250
真過癮!
1464
01:13:35,500 --> 01:13:38,208
開這樣的車出門
感覺自己高人一等了
1465
01:13:38,291 --> 01:13:40,375
不用你自己開,當然是請司機來開了
1466
01:13:40,458 --> 01:13:41,916
豈不是一闊三大嗎?
1467
01:13:42,000 --> 01:13:43,666
用我的優惠配額去買
1468
01:13:43,750 --> 01:13:46,083
這輛車便宜一半,車價也值回了
1469
01:13:46,166 --> 01:13:49,541
老公,如果請了司機
我們的頭就能抬得更高了
1470
01:13:50,500 --> 01:13:52,750
媽媽,這裡的游泳池更大
1471
01:13:52,833 --> 01:13:54,375
我很喜歡
1472
01:13:55,291 --> 01:13:56,541
當然大了
1473
01:13:57,375 --> 01:14:00,208
買了車和房子,只剩下一千多萬了
1474
01:14:00,291 --> 01:14:02,833
最好存在我的銀行裡
我替你做外幣存款
1475
01:14:02,916 --> 01:14:04,250
算你18厘利息
1476
01:14:04,458 --> 01:14:07,083
老公,光收利息一年也有一百多萬
1477
01:14:07,166 --> 01:14:08,375
吃都吃不完
1478
01:14:08,708 --> 01:14:10,291
我還可以替你把錢看管好
1479
01:14:10,375 --> 01:14:12,416
哪種外幣升值,我就你幫你買哪種
1480
01:14:13,916 --> 01:14:16,125
發財了,老婆,錢會生錢
1481
01:14:16,791 --> 01:14:19,083
只可惜我無法替你看管多少時間了
1482
01:14:23,791 --> 01:14:26,041
別搖,人搖福薄
1483
01:14:26,125 --> 01:14:27,958
搖著搖著便會窮了
1484
01:14:28,583 --> 01:14:29,583
老頑固
1485
01:14:30,416 --> 01:14:31,291
來弟
1486
01:14:32,375 --> 01:14:34,250
當我知道目己患了腳癌
1487
01:14:34,625 --> 01:14:36,208
就快不久於人世
1488
01:14:36,875 --> 01:14:38,625
我就很想拍一套宣傳片
1489
01:14:39,375 --> 01:14:41,083
告訴我的親朋戚友
1490
01:14:42,416 --> 01:14:43,583
不要搖腳
1491
01:14:44,750 --> 01:14:45,791
無論如何
1492
01:14:46,958 --> 01:14:48,583
千萬不要搖腳
1493
01:14:49,333 --> 01:14:50,958
如果當初我沒有搖腳
1494
01:14:51,291 --> 01:14:53,000
現在我根本不會坐在這裡
1495
01:14:53,625 --> 01:14:55,958
告訴你們關於我患腳癌的事
1496
01:14:56,541 --> 01:14:59,583
別傷心了,小叔,得失是注定的
1497
01:14:59,916 --> 01:15:01,583
生命跟金錢一樣
1498
01:15:01,791 --> 01:15:04,333
有就有,沒有就沒有,這是天意
1499
01:15:05,875 --> 01:15:07,833
原來你們真的來看新房子
1500
01:15:08,416 --> 01:15:10,291
我還以為你騙我
1501
01:15:10,375 --> 01:15:12,958
這間屋真漂亮,一定有我住的份吧
1502
01:15:13,541 --> 01:15:14,958
-妳的姐姐呢?
-進去屋子了
1503
01:15:16,916 --> 01:15:17,916
-不准進去
-為什麼?
1504
01:15:18,000 --> 01:15:20,250
這間屋子,你有資格進去嗎?
你是什麼身分?
1505
01:15:21,083 --> 01:15:23,416
-小便總可以吧?
-可以
1506
01:15:23,500 --> 01:15:25,083
園丁的房裡有廁所
1507
01:15:31,083 --> 01:15:32,416
叔叔,哪裡可以小便呢?
1508
01:15:32,500 --> 01:15:33,541
-裡面
-謝謝
1509
01:15:33,916 --> 01:15:36,166
這種年輕小伙子
我肯定他不會有出息
1510
01:15:36,250 --> 01:15:38,791
-是不是笑口棗來了?
-是的,去了廁所
1511
01:15:42,916 --> 01:15:45,166
妳看妳的朋友,多麼丟人
1512
01:15:51,333 --> 01:15:52,333
厠所很大呢
1513
01:15:52,458 --> 01:15:53,958
-你沒拉褲鍊
-是喔
1514
01:15:57,875 --> 01:15:59,958
米亞!
1515
01:16:02,000 --> 01:16:03,750
你怎麼可以這樣小便呢?
1516
01:16:04,125 --> 01:16:06,541
-小便只有一個辦法
-你真是個露體狂!
1517
01:16:07,166 --> 01:16:08,750
不露體怎麼小便呢?
1518
01:16:08,833 --> 01:16:10,541
難道隔著褲子小便嗎?
1519
01:16:10,625 --> 01:16:12,291
你走,你下流!
1520
01:16:12,375 --> 01:16:13,666
小便都算下流嗎?
1521
01:16:15,375 --> 01:16:17,166
你下流…妳下流…
1522
01:16:25,875 --> 01:16:27,208
去死吧!
1523
01:16:28,041 --> 01:16:30,625
原來你不止是露體狂,還是個色情狂
1524
01:16:30,708 --> 01:16:31,833
妳誤會了
1525
01:16:32,250 --> 01:16:33,166
你啊!
1526
01:16:33,541 --> 01:16:36,250
你追我的女兒就是貪我的家產
你以為我不知道嗎?
1527
01:16:37,708 --> 01:16:40,458
女兒,愛情是不可以當麵包吃的
1528
01:16:40,541 --> 01:16:42,708
選男朋友最重要是門當戶對
1529
01:16:42,791 --> 01:16:45,875
有些男人對妳好,疼妳
只是想吃軟飯
1530
01:16:45,958 --> 01:16:47,041
是的…上車吧
1531
01:16:51,375 --> 01:16:53,833
米亞!
1532
01:16:57,291 --> 01:16:59,208
只是中了一千九百萬的六合彩
1533
01:16:59,833 --> 01:17:00,958
很威風嗎?
1534
01:17:01,083 --> 01:17:02,291
誰中了六合彩?
1535
01:17:03,125 --> 01:17:05,416
-不告訴你
-來,多喝一杯…
1536
01:17:05,500 --> 01:17:08,166
-喂…大佬…
-來了…
1537
01:17:08,250 --> 01:17:09,291
請你喝的
1538
01:17:09,458 --> 01:17:11,666
-來…
-生啤酒
1539
01:17:12,541 --> 01:17:14,833
豬眼看人低
1540
01:17:15,166 --> 01:17:17,875
有朝一日我笑口棗發了財
1541
01:17:17,958 --> 01:17:19,750
看我配不配得上你的女兒
1542
01:17:22,416 --> 01:17:23,666
來,先喝一杯…
1543
01:17:25,083 --> 01:17:27,583
-你的女朋友中了六合彩嗎?
-媽媽米亞
1544
01:17:27,666 --> 01:17:30,041
-什麼?
-媽媽米亞中獎了
1545
01:17:32,333 --> 01:17:34,416
媽媽米亞沒有天理
1546
01:17:37,625 --> 01:17:39,375
喂,大佬,有機會了
1547
01:17:39,708 --> 01:17:40,875
對她媽媽做壞事
1548
01:17:40,958 --> 01:17:41,833
對!
1549
01:17:42,041 --> 01:17:44,125
對她媽媽做壞事!
1550
01:17:49,666 --> 01:17:51,291
是那個了…
1551
01:17:54,500 --> 01:17:57,000
不行了,回去吧,計劃臨時取消
1552
01:17:57,083 --> 01:17:58,500
什麼事呢?
1553
01:17:58,583 --> 01:18:00,166
那個小妹認得我
1554
01:18:01,416 --> 01:18:02,291
也對
1555
01:18:03,833 --> 01:18:05,583
喂,開過去拿兩對絲襪
1556
01:18:09,000 --> 01:18:10,708
喂,穿上這個
1557
01:18:10,958 --> 01:18:12,250
真聰明
1558
01:18:12,875 --> 01:18:14,708
哎啊…不行…尺寸不對
1559
01:18:14,791 --> 01:18:16,708
這對絲襪二號,我穿的是四號
1560
01:18:17,375 --> 01:18:19,416
-只是叫你把絲襪罩在頭上
-也對
1561
01:18:19,666 --> 01:18:21,125
-再見
-再見
1562
01:18:24,833 --> 01:18:27,125
歐洲尺碼二號也適合我
1563
01:18:27,375 --> 01:18:30,041
-我們這對絲襪不合尺寸
-喂…那個小妹要走了
1564
01:18:30,166 --> 01:18:31,166
-巧克力嗎?
-對
1565
01:18:31,250 --> 01:18:32,208
去吧
1566
01:18:39,083 --> 01:18:40,208
這邊
1567
01:18:40,291 --> 01:18:42,083
-這邊
-喂,門上鎖了!
1568
01:18:45,958 --> 01:18:46,958
救命!
1569
01:18:47,375 --> 01:18:48,916
救命啊!
1570
01:18:49,416 --> 01:18:51,916
-救命啊!
-這邊…
1571
01:18:52,000 --> 01:18:54,958
救命啊!
1572
01:18:55,333 --> 01:18:56,833
救命啊!
1573
01:18:56,916 --> 01:18:59,833
-救命啊!
-我抓到了,快來幫忙吧!
1574
01:18:59,916 --> 01:19:03,333
救命啊!
1575
01:19:03,583 --> 01:19:05,250
快點…
1576
01:19:05,958 --> 01:19:08,750
救命啊!
1577
01:19:17,166 --> 01:19:19,250
來弟,妳的行李收拾得怎麼樣了?
1578
01:19:19,333 --> 01:19:21,333
不用收拾了,帶多幾個空皮箱
1579
01:19:21,416 --> 01:19:23,083
再帶多幾張信用卡就行了
1580
01:19:23,208 --> 01:19:25,583
這次去,想買什麼就買什麼
1581
01:19:25,791 --> 01:19:28,166
不要弄得吝吝嗇嗇,小小氣氣地
1582
01:19:28,250 --> 01:19:30,125
爸爸,過來看這部新電視機
1583
01:19:30,208 --> 01:19:32,250
-立體聲的
-剛剛在記者招待會證實
1584
01:19:32,375 --> 01:19:34,291
-有19年歷史的恒豐銀行
-調大聲點
1585
01:19:34,375 --> 01:19:35,583
己經宣佈破產
1586
01:19:35,666 --> 01:19:36,958
-是哪間?
-銀行界人士初步估計
1587
01:19:37,041 --> 01:19:39,000
-好像是我們存錢的那間恒豐銀行
-牽涉到債項…
1588
01:19:39,083 --> 01:19:40,625
達到三百億港元
1589
01:19:40,791 --> 01:19:43,875
這次恒豐銀行倒閉是自從1985年以來
1590
01:19:44,041 --> 01:19:46,875
繼多間銀行出現
財政問題以後的第九宗
1591
01:19:46,958 --> 01:19:49,708
大哥、大嫂,我有一個好消息
以及一個壞消息
1592
01:19:49,791 --> 01:19:52,458
-你們想先聽哪一個?
-那你先說好消息來聽吧
1593
01:19:52,750 --> 01:19:54,958
好消息就是我的腳沒有患上癌症
1594
01:19:55,041 --> 01:19:56,333
是醫生證實的
1595
01:19:56,458 --> 01:19:57,833
那壞消息呢?
1596
01:19:58,958 --> 01:20:02,083
壞消息就是你們的一千九百萬沒有了
1597
01:20:05,625 --> 01:20:07,875
-大嫂!
-妳怎麼了?老婆,妳別嚇我
1598
01:20:07,958 --> 01:20:09,083
妳別那麼傷心了
1599
01:20:09,291 --> 01:20:10,958
是妳說過的:“得失是注定的
1600
01:20:11,041 --> 01:20:12,458
金錢跟生命一樣
1601
01:20:12,541 --> 01:20:14,625
妳有就有,沒有就沒有
1602
01:20:15,041 --> 01:20:16,250
這些都是天意”
1603
01:20:16,333 --> 01:20:17,666
你還在這說這種風涼話?
1604
01:20:17,750 --> 01:20:19,375
-你害死我們了!
-大哥!
1605
01:20:19,458 --> 01:20:21,833
我也是受害者,我現在失業了
1606
01:20:21,916 --> 01:20:24,000
你賠回一千九百萬給我!
1607
01:20:28,166 --> 01:20:29,500
賠錢!
1608
01:20:32,500 --> 01:20:33,375
爸爸
1609
01:20:35,833 --> 01:20:38,958
-賠錢!
-給回一千九百萬!
1610
01:20:39,041 --> 01:20:40,875
-開演!
-我跟你拼命
1611
01:20:40,958 --> 01:20:42,916
-冷靜一點,強過史泰龍!
-你去死吧!
1612
01:20:44,083 --> 01:20:46,166
我掐死你!
1613
01:20:46,250 --> 01:20:48,625
-冷靜一點,強過史泰龍!
-我掐死你!
1614
01:20:49,833 --> 01:20:52,333
-我掐死你!
-你別這樣
1615
01:20:53,291 --> 01:20:56,958
我掐死你!
1616
01:20:57,041 --> 01:20:58,958
-賠錢!
-把我的錢給回我!
1617
01:20:59,083 --> 01:21:01,041
-喂?
-一千九百萬啊!
1618
01:21:01,125 --> 01:21:03,333
把錢給回我們!
1619
01:21:03,416 --> 01:21:04,666
把錢給回我們!
1620
01:21:04,750 --> 01:21:05,791
綁架?
1621
01:21:06,291 --> 01:21:07,541
喂,你們別打了!
1622
01:21:07,625 --> 01:21:10,583
小妹被人抓了!被人綁架!
1623
01:21:11,250 --> 01:21:13,583
不是開玩笑,誰有空跟你們玩呢?
1624
01:21:14,083 --> 01:21:15,833
誰有空跟你開玩笑呢?你聽聽
1625
01:21:17,041 --> 01:21:17,958
爸爸,救我
1626
01:21:18,083 --> 01:21:20,083
雖然你不疼我,但是我會養你一輩子
1627
01:21:20,166 --> 01:21:21,916
你別讓我死掉
1628
01:21:22,083 --> 01:21:24,833
聽清楚了嗎?我們要一千九百萬贖金
1629
01:21:24,916 --> 01:21:27,375
開玩笑嗎?我們住廉租屋而已
1630
01:21:28,125 --> 01:21:29,791
你又說中了六合彩?
1631
01:21:29,875 --> 01:21:32,583
沒有了,你們沒看電視新聞嗎?
1632
01:21:32,666 --> 01:21:34,416
整間恒豐銀行都倒閉了
1633
01:21:34,500 --> 01:21:35,375
是嗎?
1634
01:21:35,458 --> 01:21:37,250
開電視…
1635
01:21:39,041 --> 01:21:41,000
驃叔,你最會裝窮了
1636
01:21:41,083 --> 01:21:42,875
不是裝,是真的窮
1637
01:21:42,958 --> 01:21:45,500
別假惺惺了,趕快準備錢
1638
01:21:45,583 --> 01:21:47,208
如果報警的話,我就殺了你的女兒
1639
01:21:47,666 --> 01:21:48,958
大哥,報警
1640
01:21:49,583 --> 01:21:51,958
不行,報警的話,他們會撕票
1641
01:21:52,083 --> 01:21:53,958
關你什麼事?走!
1642
01:21:59,500 --> 01:22:01,291
喂,那現在怎麼辦?
1643
01:22:02,041 --> 01:22:04,166
有老鼠咬我,我很害怕!
1644
01:22:04,250 --> 01:22:06,333
看來這件事好像越來越嚴重了
1645
01:22:07,125 --> 01:22:09,958
哪裡止“好像”?簡直是超嚴重了
1646
01:22:10,041 --> 01:22:11,458
全靠棗哥你
1647
01:22:11,541 --> 01:22:14,416
親自策劃,親自處理,親自行動
1648
01:22:14,500 --> 01:22:16,041
其實我只是想嚇嚇那個肥婆
1649
01:22:16,375 --> 01:22:18,333
豈知一時衝動,弄出這麼大件事情
1650
01:22:18,416 --> 01:22:20,916
這就對了,美國當年投下原子彈
1651
01:22:21,000 --> 01:22:23,833
也是一時衝動
現在全世界都說他們是對的
1652
01:22:23,916 --> 01:22:26,125
-他們做得好
-不如把她放了吧?
1653
01:22:26,208 --> 01:22:28,250
把她放了?你真是人頭豬腦
1654
01:22:28,541 --> 01:22:29,708
-你瘋了嗎?
-真是豬頭
1655
01:22:29,791 --> 01:22:31,958
現在把人放了,是綁架
1656
01:22:32,125 --> 01:22:34,666
收了一千九百萬才放人,也是綁架
1657
01:22:34,750 --> 01:22:37,500
當然是收了錢才放人嘛,傻子
1658
01:22:38,833 --> 01:22:39,791
我不玩了
1659
01:22:43,166 --> 01:22:44,666
現在大家都已經濕了頭
1660
01:22:44,750 --> 01:22:46,458
你是否要繼續玩下去都一樣那麼大罪
1661
01:22:46,708 --> 01:22:48,416
趁他們現在還沒發現你
1662
01:22:48,500 --> 01:22:50,208
你去他的家當臥底
1663
01:22:50,291 --> 01:22:52,916
如果他去報警的話
你就回來通風報信
1664
01:22:54,833 --> 01:22:58,250
-那我先去洗頭吧
-去吧,去把頭髮弄濕吧
1665
01:22:59,958 --> 01:23:01,208
笑口棗
1666
01:23:01,500 --> 01:23:04,416
你知不知道我的小女兒被綁架了?
1667
01:23:04,958 --> 01:23:06,791
那你知不知道是誰做的?
1668
01:23:07,500 --> 01:23:09,250
我怎麼會知道呢?
1669
01:23:09,375 --> 01:23:10,458
這樣還好一些
1670
01:23:10,791 --> 01:23:12,750
都是你的錯!
1671
01:23:13,708 --> 01:23:15,916
為什麼要搞外幣存款?
兩千萬就這樣沒了
1672
01:23:16,000 --> 01:23:17,875
是兩千萬啊!
1673
01:23:18,500 --> 01:23:20,583
現在凡事都可以拿“假如”來說
1674
01:23:20,750 --> 01:23:23,125
-就當我們不曾中獎好了
-什麼“假如”?
1675
01:23:23,208 --> 01:23:26,500
-我們根本就是中獎了
-對啊,那妳也曾經擁有兩千萬嘛
1676
01:23:26,583 --> 01:23:28,375
妳看看左鄰右舍
有誰曾擁有兩千萬呢?
1677
01:23:28,458 --> 01:23:29,958
現在不是談錢的時候
1678
01:23:30,041 --> 01:23:31,416
是想辦法怎樣救女兒
1679
01:23:31,583 --> 01:23:33,958
那你去賺錢吧!沒錢怎麼救女兒呢?
1680
01:23:36,833 --> 01:23:38,333
我把機票退了
1681
01:23:38,625 --> 01:23:41,208
還有我從小到大存起來的紅包錢
全在這裡了
1682
01:23:41,958 --> 01:23:42,916
來弟
1683
01:23:43,333 --> 01:23:44,958
夠不夠錢贖妹妹呢?
1684
01:23:45,708 --> 01:23:48,041
-傻孩子,妳真懂事
-來弟
1685
01:23:49,875 --> 01:23:51,541
妳真是乖
1686
01:23:54,958 --> 01:23:57,416
-別打電話!
-不打了…
1687
01:24:01,625 --> 01:24:03,666
喂,不好了…他們真的沒錢了
1688
01:24:03,958 --> 01:24:05,750
他們的錢被銀行賠掉了
1689
01:24:05,833 --> 01:24:07,208
現在被打回原形了
1690
01:24:07,791 --> 01:24:09,083
那我們豈不是白費心機嗎?
1691
01:24:09,791 --> 01:24:10,958
這裡真多蚊子!
1692
01:24:11,041 --> 01:24:12,583
不如把那小妹放了就算吧
1693
01:24:12,666 --> 01:24:14,708
“算”?我們冒了那麼大風險
1694
01:24:15,041 --> 01:24:17,541
喂,究竟他們還會有多少錢?
1695
01:24:17,750 --> 01:24:19,875
-大概一萬多元吧
-一萬多元?
1696
01:24:20,041 --> 01:24:21,750
簡直是侮辱,不放
1697
01:24:21,916 --> 01:24:24,208
除非他肯侮辱我們幾十次
1698
01:24:24,958 --> 01:24:27,458
你們這樣不就是在乞丐碗裡
拿飯吃嗎?
1699
01:24:27,708 --> 01:24:30,125
拿到飯,你也有份吃
1700
01:24:30,500 --> 01:24:33,416
不要感情用事
她姐姐是你的女朋友,我知道
1701
01:24:33,500 --> 01:24:35,500
但是我們是你的兄弟
1702
01:24:35,583 --> 01:24:37,000
-是嗎?
-是嗎?
1703
01:24:37,166 --> 01:24:39,541
-當然是了
-馬上跟他們要五十萬
1704
01:24:41,166 --> 01:24:42,041
喂?
1705
01:24:43,291 --> 01:24:44,416
喂,我是驃叔
1706
01:24:45,208 --> 01:24:46,791
你知道倒閉就好了
1707
01:24:47,041 --> 01:24:50,000
什麼?五十萬?我現在連五萬也沒有
1708
01:24:50,750 --> 01:24:53,166
你別殺我的女兒,我給…
1709
01:24:53,541 --> 01:24:56,500
-喂,我的女兒現在怎麼樣?
-她很平安
1710
01:24:56,666 --> 01:24:59,583
我放她下來看電視節目,還給她吃糖
1711
01:24:59,666 --> 01:25:01,541
我的糖又大又甜
1712
01:25:01,833 --> 01:25:05,166
我要見到我女兒才給錢,招弟!
1713
01:25:05,250 --> 01:25:07,166
媽媽,這裡有很多老鼠!
1714
01:25:07,708 --> 01:25:08,833
聽到聲音了吧?
1715
01:25:09,541 --> 01:25:11,083
向高利貸借五十萬吧
1716
01:25:11,291 --> 01:25:14,500
明天下午
你把錢放在兩寸厚的皮箱中
1717
01:25:14,583 --> 01:25:16,041
拿著無線電話
1718
01:25:16,125 --> 01:25:19,166
去九龍塘乘3點45分的頭等火車
1719
01:25:19,250 --> 01:25:20,750
那你就會見到你的女兒了
1720
01:25:21,250 --> 01:25:23,000
喂,你去那邊準備偷拍
1721
01:25:23,666 --> 01:25:25,875
約翰,會不會在火車裡交錢的?
1722
01:25:32,000 --> 01:25:34,375
我找遍了全部車廂
都沒有見到綁匪和招弟
1723
01:25:36,041 --> 01:25:38,083
-喂?
-你們現在在哪裡?
1724
01:25:38,708 --> 01:25:41,500
-我們剛過了中文大學
-前面有一條公路
1725
01:25:41,583 --> 01:25:43,250
你的女兒會在公路上出現
1726
01:25:43,333 --> 01:25:45,583
一看到你的女兒
就馬上把錢扔出火車
1727
01:25:46,416 --> 01:25:48,375
喂,窗是不能打開的,怎麼扔錢?
1728
01:25:48,458 --> 01:25:50,958
去洗手間,那裡有窗可以扔錢出來
1729
01:25:55,166 --> 01:25:56,291
就是這個窗了
1730
01:25:58,000 --> 01:25:59,750
兩寸厚的皮箱剛剛好
1731
01:26:00,250 --> 01:26:02,000
這列火車要到大埔墟才停站
1732
01:26:02,083 --> 01:26:04,708
即使我們報警
綁匪還是有很多時間可以逃走
1733
01:26:05,125 --> 01:26:07,041
那我豈非眼睜睜看著自己的女兒
卻無法救她?
1734
01:26:07,250 --> 01:26:08,125
真是狡猾
1735
01:26:08,208 --> 01:26:10,375
我出去拍下他們的樣子作為證據
1736
01:26:13,041 --> 01:26:14,166
爸爸!
1737
01:26:14,416 --> 01:26:17,083
-招弟!
-大哥,把錢扔出去
1738
01:26:17,166 --> 01:26:18,333
把錢扔出去?
1739
01:26:18,416 --> 01:26:19,666
爸爸!
1740
01:26:19,750 --> 01:26:21,666
-扔出去
-扔出去
1741
01:26:22,875 --> 01:26:24,291
爸爸!
1742
01:26:25,333 --> 01:26:26,500
趕快扔啊!
1743
01:26:27,041 --> 01:26:28,666
招弟趕快回來!
1744
01:26:29,333 --> 01:26:31,625
爸爸!
1745
01:26:34,333 --> 01:26:35,666
大哥…
1746
01:26:36,250 --> 01:26:38,541
我沒錢了
1747
01:26:41,333 --> 01:26:43,458
你們收到錢了吧?你們安心了吧?
1748
01:26:43,875 --> 01:26:46,666
驃叔,我真的對不起你
我會放了你的女兒
1749
01:26:46,750 --> 01:26:47,666
你是誰?
1750
01:26:50,333 --> 01:26:51,208
完蛋了…
1751
01:26:51,291 --> 01:26:53,958
你們在大埔墟下火車
趕來馬鞍山石礦場救你的女兒吧
1752
01:26:54,958 --> 01:26:56,208
馬鞍山石礦場
1753
01:26:56,291 --> 01:26:58,166
錢…
1754
01:26:58,583 --> 01:27:00,750
喂,那個後輪掉了下去,得推上來
1755
01:27:00,833 --> 01:27:02,083
幫忙推一推車
1756
01:27:07,833 --> 01:27:10,708
小妹妹,聽著,待會我推妳一下
1757
01:27:10,916 --> 01:27:13,666
妳就說尿急
然後妳就借尿遁,知道嗎?
1758
01:27:14,041 --> 01:27:16,166
我知道了,笑口棗
1759
01:27:16,666 --> 01:27:19,125
-妳怎麼知道是我?
-我早就知道了
1760
01:27:19,208 --> 01:27:22,458
不過懶得揭穿你,怕你殺我滅口而已
1761
01:27:28,250 --> 01:27:30,916
我很急尿,我要去廁所!
1762
01:27:31,000 --> 01:27:33,125
-不許吵!
-我忍不住了!
1763
01:27:33,208 --> 01:27:34,041
不許去!
1764
01:27:34,125 --> 01:27:36,791
-妳要忍…
-我忍不住了
1765
01:27:36,875 --> 01:27:38,458
對了,讓她去吧
1766
01:27:38,625 --> 01:27:40,041
否則她會把你的車子尿濕了
1767
01:27:41,500 --> 01:27:42,625
真麻煩
1768
01:27:42,708 --> 01:27:43,708
來吧…
1769
01:27:43,833 --> 01:27:44,791
(閒人免進,礦場重地)
1770
01:27:44,958 --> 01:27:46,166
門都不關上
1771
01:27:48,583 --> 01:27:49,583
快走
1772
01:27:52,125 --> 01:27:55,083
快走!走吧!走快點!
1773
01:27:55,166 --> 01:27:56,750
有多遠跑多遠,走吧…
1774
01:27:56,833 --> 01:27:58,583
為什麼你把她放了?你瘋了嗎?
1775
01:27:58,666 --> 01:28:01,416
-把她抓住,然後殺她滅口!
-不要!她不過是個小孩子!
1776
01:28:01,583 --> 01:28:02,541
喂!
1777
01:28:06,083 --> 01:28:08,041
別殺她,她不過是個小孩子!
1778
01:28:10,041 --> 01:28:11,041
多事!
1779
01:28:20,458 --> 01:28:21,625
還想跑?
1780
01:28:30,125 --> 01:28:31,291
沒道理啊
1781
01:28:40,416 --> 01:28:43,333
-先給肥婆打電話吧
-大哥,不如報警吧?
1782
01:28:43,541 --> 01:28:44,833
-報警?
-嗯
1783
01:29:00,791 --> 01:29:01,666
我要殺了妳!
1784
01:29:02,791 --> 01:29:03,958
(小杬碎石場)
1785
01:29:37,958 --> 01:29:38,833
招弟
1786
01:29:43,916 --> 01:29:47,458
救命!
1787
01:29:48,541 --> 01:29:49,833
救命!
1788
01:29:50,541 --> 01:29:53,000
救命!
1789
01:29:53,416 --> 01:29:54,375
救命!
1790
01:30:13,625 --> 01:30:15,083
爸爸救我!
1791
01:30:15,166 --> 01:30:17,125
招弟!
1792
01:30:17,208 --> 01:30:19,916
爸爸,救命!
1793
01:30:31,333 --> 01:30:32,333
小叔!
1794
01:30:33,083 --> 01:30:34,083
小叔!
1795
01:30:34,541 --> 01:30:36,166
-招弟
-小叔!
1796
01:30:37,208 --> 01:30:38,958
招弟!
1797
01:30:41,958 --> 01:30:43,875
-大哥
-爸爸!
1798
01:30:43,958 --> 01:30:45,583
-招弟!
-爸爸!
1799
01:30:45,666 --> 01:30:47,250
你別離開我!
1800
01:30:47,333 --> 01:30:48,291
招弟!
1801
01:30:54,083 --> 01:30:56,416
石堆後面有一個,那邊閘口還有一個
1802
01:30:56,500 --> 01:30:57,708
其他人都跟我來
1803
01:30:58,250 --> 01:30:59,625
-乖女兒,爸爸愛死妳
-爸爸
1804
01:30:59,708 --> 01:31:01,708
-妹妹
-姐姐!
1805
01:31:04,375 --> 01:31:08,416
招弟!
1806
01:31:08,500 --> 01:31:09,833
-媽媽!
-乖女兒,想死媽媽了
1807
01:31:09,916 --> 01:31:11,500
-妳沒事吧?
-媽媽!
1808
01:31:12,333 --> 01:31:13,333
乖女兒
1809
01:31:13,416 --> 01:31:15,541
這個壞人,你真該死
1810
01:31:15,625 --> 01:31:17,791
-我打死你…
-真是人渣,我打死你…
1811
01:31:17,875 --> 01:31:18,916
真是壞人
1812
01:31:19,000 --> 01:31:20,083
這裡還有一個
1813
01:31:23,958 --> 01:31:26,458
不關他的事,他是來救我的
1814
01:31:26,541 --> 01:31:28,291
他是好人
1815
01:31:28,375 --> 01:31:30,958
那兩個才是綁匪
1816
01:31:33,166 --> 01:31:35,916
笑口棗,我愛你!
1817
01:31:36,000 --> 01:31:36,875
笑口棗
1818
01:31:36,958 --> 01:31:39,541
-他有份綁架!
-他有份綁架!
1819
01:31:39,625 --> 01:31:41,333
別把他放了!
1820
01:31:41,416 --> 01:31:44,333
笑口棗,你真是個好人,我誤會你了
1821
01:31:44,416 --> 01:31:46,791
你是我心目中的大英雄,你太好了!
1822
01:31:46,875 --> 01:31:50,291
-他有份綁架!
-抓他!
1823
01:31:50,375 --> 01:31:52,750
-祝妳生日快樂
-祝妳生日快樂
1824
01:31:52,833 --> 01:31:55,166
-祝妳生日快樂
-祝妳生日快樂
1825
01:31:55,250 --> 01:31:58,166
-祝寶琳生日快樂
-祝寶琳生日快樂
1826
01:31:58,375 --> 01:32:01,083
-祝妳生日快樂
-祝妳生日快樂
1827
01:32:01,166 --> 01:32:03,041
-太好了
-太好了
1828
01:32:05,708 --> 01:32:08,166
-笑口棗,在洗米嗎?
-煮飯啊
1829
01:32:09,125 --> 01:32:11,583
喂,綁架那件事,只有妳知道
1830
01:32:11,666 --> 01:32:13,041
妳別告訴其他人
1831
01:32:13,666 --> 01:32:15,166
我以後都不當壞人了
1832
01:32:16,000 --> 01:32:17,083
招弟
1833
01:32:18,125 --> 01:32:19,125
笑口棗
1834
01:32:19,208 --> 01:32:21,000
-姐姐找你
-米亞
1835
01:32:21,083 --> 01:32:23,666
-米亞,我來了
-喂,笑口棗
1836
01:32:24,916 --> 01:32:26,833
—人一次,不拖不欠
1837
01:32:27,708 --> 01:32:29,250
還不快去洗臉?
1838
01:32:32,041 --> 01:32:34,458
細細想來,我們還真不適合當有錢人
1839
01:32:34,625 --> 01:32:37,291
會給人綁架的,還是當窮人好
1840
01:32:37,750 --> 01:32:40,250
光有三個女兒在這裡,己經是寶了
1841
01:32:40,708 --> 01:32:42,125
不止三個
1842
01:32:43,458 --> 01:32:45,875
-什麼?妳…
-大哥,恭喜你
1843
01:32:47,166 --> 01:32:48,666
這次一定是兒子
1844
01:32:48,791 --> 01:32:49,958
如果再生女兒的話…
1845
01:32:50,041 --> 01:32:52,250
-你會向醫院退貨
-你會向醫院退貨
1846
01:32:52,333 --> 01:32:53,500
對…
1847
01:32:53,583 --> 01:32:55,208
現在有一項特別報告
1848
01:32:55,375 --> 01:32:58,250
財政司剛在一個小時前正式宣佈
1849
01:32:58,416 --> 01:33:00,041
動用外匯基金
1850
01:33:00,125 --> 01:33:01,791
-挽救恒豐銀行
-謝謝…
1851
01:33:01,958 --> 01:33:04,166
雖然有多位議員大力反對
1852
01:33:04,250 --> 01:33:07,000
但是恒豐銀行己經得到政府接管
1853
01:33:07,083 --> 01:33:08,541
決定明天復業
1854
01:33:08,666 --> 01:33:11,458
所有的存戶都可以在該銀行
提取他們的存款
1855
01:33:14,041 --> 01:33:16,250
-太棒了!
-太棒了!
1856
01:33:20,291 --> 01:33:21,416
冷靜…
1857
01:33:21,750 --> 01:33:24,416
不要那麼大聲,不然讓外面的人聽到
又要來借錢
1858
01:33:27,250 --> 01:33:29,625
老馮,我們怎麼還會有錢借給你呢?
1859
01:33:29,875 --> 01:33:32,875
不是,我是來把錢都還給你們的
1860
01:33:33,000 --> 01:33:34,875
我老婆和那個男人回來了
1861
01:33:34,958 --> 01:33:36,916
他們一起回來住
1862
01:33:37,208 --> 01:33:39,208
你老婆有了男人,你還那麼開心?
1863
01:33:39,291 --> 01:33:42,208
當然開心了,那個男人很有錢的!
1864
01:33:44,750 --> 01:33:46,083
老馮…
1865
01:33:46,166 --> 01:33:47,125
有什麼好事?
1866
01:33:47,875 --> 01:33:49,458
下賤,你還是男人嗎?
1867
01:35:07,000 --> 01:35:09,000
字幕翻譯:蔡偉權
124922