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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,877 --> 00:00:13,317 ♪♪ 2 00:00:13,448 --> 00:00:18,844 ♪♪ 3 00:00:18,975 --> 00:00:20,977 -Hand my friends over and I'll let you live! 4 00:00:21,108 --> 00:00:23,240 -You misunderstand. 5 00:00:23,371 --> 00:00:26,330 Bounty hunters don't negotiate. 6 00:00:26,461 --> 00:00:28,724 -Any last words, Crite? 7 00:00:28,854 --> 00:00:31,248 -Yes. 8 00:00:31,379 --> 00:00:32,902 Now! 9 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:38,038 ♪♪ 10 00:00:38,168 --> 00:00:43,043 ♪♪ 11 00:00:43,173 --> 00:00:45,393 -Ah! -Oh! 12 00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:46,959 -Ladies and gentlemen, 13 00:00:47,090 --> 00:00:49,223 it appears there are hundreds of hairy balls 14 00:00:49,353 --> 00:00:50,963 descending through the air! 15 00:00:51,094 --> 00:00:53,662 -[ Screaming ] 16 00:01:00,973 --> 00:01:02,627 -He brought them to us! 17 00:01:02,758 --> 00:01:04,151 He's gone full-Crite! 18 00:01:04,281 --> 00:01:06,675 Make peace with your gods! 19 00:01:06,805 --> 00:01:08,416 -No! 20 00:01:08,546 --> 00:01:18,121 ♪♪ 21 00:01:18,252 --> 00:01:21,081 ♪♪ 22 00:01:29,872 --> 00:01:31,830 -Aah! 23 00:01:31,961 --> 00:01:33,963 -Sheriff, it's just like the video! 24 00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,965 -No shit! 25 00:01:40,970 --> 00:01:43,190 -There are red ones? What do they do? 26 00:01:48,020 --> 00:01:50,458 Oh. -Yes! Keep eating! 27 00:01:50,588 --> 00:01:52,068 -But the bounty hunters are gone. 28 00:01:52,199 --> 00:01:53,113 Let's get Christopher and his friends 29 00:01:53,243 --> 00:01:54,418 and get the hell out of here. 30 00:01:54,549 --> 00:01:56,507 -My people have traveled far 31 00:01:56,638 --> 00:01:59,641 and performed marginally above expectations. 32 00:01:59,771 --> 00:02:01,556 They deserve this feast. 33 00:02:01,686 --> 00:02:03,253 Keep eating! 34 00:02:03,384 --> 00:02:07,475 Keep eating until there is nothing left to eat! 35 00:02:07,605 --> 00:02:11,914 Oh, yes, I see it's turning you on. 36 00:02:12,044 --> 00:02:14,264 Deep down, it always did. 37 00:02:14,395 --> 00:02:15,483 The carnage. 38 00:02:15,613 --> 00:02:16,962 The bloodshed. 39 00:02:17,093 --> 00:02:19,443 The mayhem... 40 00:02:19,574 --> 00:02:22,185 [ Choking, gagging ] 41 00:02:28,887 --> 00:02:31,847 Why? 42 00:02:31,977 --> 00:02:35,198 -I won't let you have my son. 43 00:02:38,245 --> 00:02:40,334 Christopher! 44 00:02:40,464 --> 00:02:41,857 -Guys! -Christopher! 45 00:02:41,987 --> 00:02:44,860 -Everything's gonna be okay! Come on! 46 00:02:48,603 --> 00:02:49,952 -You came back for us. 47 00:02:50,082 --> 00:02:51,780 -That's how I roll. 48 00:02:54,348 --> 00:02:56,785 Dana, there's something that I have to tell you. 49 00:02:56,915 --> 00:02:58,787 -I know how you feel about me. 50 00:02:58,917 --> 00:03:00,223 -I knew it! 51 00:03:00,354 --> 00:03:02,094 -Charlie told me. 52 00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:03,400 And if I wasn't such an idiot, 53 00:03:03,531 --> 00:03:05,663 I probably would've noticed sooner. 54 00:03:05,794 --> 00:03:08,405 Sorry that I didn't. 55 00:03:08,536 --> 00:03:10,886 -Listen, I know that I'm not... 56 00:03:11,016 --> 00:03:13,802 sexy in the traditional sense. 57 00:03:13,932 --> 00:03:15,847 Or... 58 00:03:15,978 --> 00:03:18,763 in any sense anymore, but -- -I think you're beautiful. 59 00:03:18,894 --> 00:03:21,026 -I'm gonna leave you two alone. 60 00:03:21,157 --> 00:03:23,768 -Really? -Yeah. I do. 61 00:03:23,899 --> 00:03:25,422 -Gonna hit the high road. 62 00:03:25,553 --> 00:03:35,389 ♪♪ 63 00:03:35,519 --> 00:03:43,658 ♪♪ 64 00:03:43,788 --> 00:03:51,970 ♪♪ 65 00:03:52,101 --> 00:03:56,018 -Your very existence threatens the universe. 66 00:03:56,148 --> 00:03:57,585 You must be destroyed. 67 00:03:57,715 --> 00:03:59,761 -Hey! Delivery guy? 68 00:03:59,891 --> 00:04:02,590 This package is damaged. 69 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,374 -I don't get it. 70 00:04:04,505 --> 00:04:05,897 -Double entendre, bitch! 71 00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:07,856 Oh, hell no! 72 00:04:07,986 --> 00:04:11,555 Wait! Oh, wait! Don't you have balls? 73 00:04:11,686 --> 00:04:13,775 I was just kidding! 74 00:04:13,905 --> 00:04:23,567 ♪♪ 75 00:04:23,698 --> 00:04:25,526 [ Stomach rumbles ] 76 00:04:25,656 --> 00:04:27,223 Whoa! 77 00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:29,138 -[ Growls ] 78 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:46,155 ♪♪ 79 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,070 -Aah! 80 00:04:50,768 --> 00:04:51,987 -Good shooting, Sheriff. 81 00:04:52,117 --> 00:04:53,771 -We're basically invincible. 82 00:04:57,862 --> 00:05:00,822 -Aah! That's right, motherfuckers! 83 00:05:04,478 --> 00:05:11,920 ♪♪ 84 00:05:12,050 --> 00:05:14,052 -Everything's gonna be okay. 85 00:05:14,183 --> 00:05:16,533 [ Screaming ] 86 00:05:16,664 --> 00:05:18,187 -Mom! 87 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:23,714 ♪♪ 88 00:05:23,845 --> 00:05:26,108 Mom? Everything's gonna be okay. 89 00:05:26,238 --> 00:05:28,806 Just stay still. 90 00:05:28,937 --> 00:05:31,113 -How bad is it? 91 00:05:31,243 --> 00:05:32,636 -Uh... 92 00:05:32,767 --> 00:05:35,944 -On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being really bad? 93 00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:38,729 -Oh. Uh... 94 00:05:38,860 --> 00:05:41,123 -4? 95 00:05:41,253 --> 00:05:42,690 -Uh... 96 00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:45,997 -Mm, 6? 97 00:05:46,128 --> 00:05:48,086 Uh, uh... 98 00:05:48,217 --> 00:05:51,220 Oh, I'm not gonna make spin class on Monday. 99 00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:58,793 You may be half-Crite, but you're nothing like them, Chris. 100 00:05:58,923 --> 00:06:03,885 Your heart is bigger than all their little bodies together. 101 00:06:04,015 --> 00:06:06,714 I love you, Pork Chop. 102 00:06:06,844 --> 00:06:08,280 -I love you, too, Mom. 103 00:06:08,411 --> 00:06:18,290 ♪♪ 104 00:06:18,421 --> 00:06:23,426 ♪♪ 105 00:06:23,557 --> 00:06:28,170 -You will achieve your spot in this world. 106 00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:30,738 Or some other world. 107 00:06:30,868 --> 00:06:33,567 Need any Viagra? 108 00:06:33,697 --> 00:06:43,446 ♪♪ 109 00:06:43,577 --> 00:06:53,456 ♪♪ 110 00:06:53,587 --> 00:06:55,763 ♪♪ 111 00:07:03,335 --> 00:07:04,554 [ High-pitched whine ] 112 00:07:04,685 --> 00:07:07,949 [ Both screaming ] 113 00:07:19,482 --> 00:07:21,528 -Aah! 114 00:07:27,403 --> 00:07:37,326 ♪♪ 115 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:46,683 ♪♪ 116 00:07:46,814 --> 00:07:56,214 ♪♪ 117 00:07:56,345 --> 00:07:57,868 -Officials are still trying to make sense 118 00:07:57,999 --> 00:08:00,131 of the senseless attack that occurred at Livingston's 119 00:08:00,262 --> 00:08:04,048 45th Annual "Meat Your Destiny" Hot Dog Eating Championship. 120 00:08:04,179 --> 00:08:05,702 Multiple witnesses are giving accounts 121 00:08:05,833 --> 00:08:08,923 of "extra-terrestrials" and "hairy black balls," 122 00:08:09,053 --> 00:08:12,187 but the attack was apparently foiled by one heroic senior 123 00:08:12,317 --> 00:08:14,450 from Sotto Valley High School. 124 00:08:14,581 --> 00:08:16,147 -No, my eyes are fine. 125 00:08:16,278 --> 00:08:17,758 What don't you get? 126 00:08:17,888 --> 00:08:19,673 It's my ears. 127 00:08:19,803 --> 00:08:22,502 It's my bleeding ears. 128 00:08:22,632 --> 00:08:24,416 -Chris? 129 00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:26,854 -Dana, uh... 130 00:08:26,984 --> 00:08:28,638 Look, I know what you're thinking. 131 00:08:28,769 --> 00:08:31,249 You said you don't like destructive assholes. 132 00:08:31,380 --> 00:08:32,729 And look at what I just did. 133 00:08:32,860 --> 00:08:33,948 -I know. 134 00:08:34,078 --> 00:08:35,515 -I guess this is just who I am. 135 00:08:35,645 --> 00:08:37,604 It's in my blood. 136 00:08:37,734 --> 00:08:39,997 -You don't have to explain yourself to me. 137 00:08:40,128 --> 00:08:41,956 You were a hero today. 138 00:08:44,045 --> 00:08:46,743 Whoa, what are you doing? 139 00:08:46,874 --> 00:08:49,137 -Oh, I -- I thought that, uh... 140 00:08:49,267 --> 00:08:54,403 you wanted... we were gonna, uh...kiss? 141 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:57,188 -How about you try asking me on a date first? 142 00:08:57,319 --> 00:08:59,626 -Dana? -Yes, Chris? 143 00:08:59,756 --> 00:09:01,366 -Would you like to go out sometime? 144 00:09:01,497 --> 00:09:02,846 -I'll think about it. 145 00:09:06,023 --> 00:09:08,678 -Guys, I got the prize money and the trophy! 146 00:09:08,809 --> 00:09:09,853 Let's bail! 147 00:09:09,984 --> 00:09:16,207 ♪♪ 148 00:09:37,359 --> 00:09:39,927 -[ Laughing ] 149 00:09:40,057 --> 00:09:45,672 ♪♪ 150 00:09:45,802 --> 00:09:55,682 ♪♪ 151 00:09:55,812 --> 00:10:05,692 ♪♪ 152 00:10:05,822 --> 00:10:15,702 ♪♪ 153 00:10:15,832 --> 00:10:19,749 ♪♪ 9347

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