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1
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♪♪
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[ Shower turns off ]
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♪♪
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-[ Screams ]
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[ Telephone ringing ]
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-[ Crunching, munching ]
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[ Gulping ]
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Mm. Mm.
-Christopher?!
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-Coming!
10
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-Come on, Pork Chop!
Breakfast is ready!
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There you go, Uncle Murray.
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-Pancakes.
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Again.
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-Morning, Uncle Murray.
Mom.
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-There's your breakfast.
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-Wait. That's it?
I'm gonna be hungry.
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-You're always hungry.
18
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So, hurry up and eat or you're
gonna be hungry and late.
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-Late for what?
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-Life, boy.
21
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-Nothing ever happens
around here.
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♪♪
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♪♪
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[ Alarm blaring ]
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♪♪
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-What up, homey?
-Dude!
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Can I get a bite of that?
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-Whoa.
You can't have any of mine.
29
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But...
you could have this.
30
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Oh!
Oh!
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-You're a true friend.
32
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-Well, what can I say?
I know how you are.
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♪♪
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♪♪
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♪♪
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♪♪
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-We want the Crites.
38
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-Where is
19876 Wallace Avenue,
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Livingston, Iowa?
40
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♪♪
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00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:21,086
♪♪
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-Crikey, mate.
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You're a long way
from Livingston.
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♪♪
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♪♪
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♪♪
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[ Beeps ]
48
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-I've acquired the Crite signal.
49
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Their ship has entered
the planet's atmosphere.
50
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-How much farther?
51
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-10,000 miles.
52
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-Run faster.
53
00:05:04,652 --> 00:05:07,437
-Would you rather
get hit by a bus
54
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or choked out by a clown?
55
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-Choked out by a clown.
-What?!
56
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-Yeah.
-You've gotta be kidding me.
57
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Why do dogs always stare at you
58
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when they're going
to the bathroom?
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-'Cause they don't have phones?
60
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-Makes sense.
61
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Oh!
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Oh.
Dude?
63
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Boom.
You were born for this.
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00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:30,591
Come on, dude.
-Forget it.
65
00:05:30,721 --> 00:05:32,636
I'm not signing up for a hot dog
eating contest.
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-But you eat crazy-fast.
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Besides, first place,
that's 500 bucks.
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We could finally be ballin'.
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Chris, no.
-Please?
70
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-Forget it.
71
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We're gonna be late
for first period
72
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and I can't get
another late slip, dude.
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-It's Thursday.
-Okay.
74
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-Dana will be
at the animal shelter in, like,
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you know, exactly 10 minutes.
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If we leave now,
we could say hello.
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-You're not gonna say hello.
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-Yes, I will.
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It'll be different this time.
80
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-I'm going to class.
-Fine!
81
00:06:03,058 --> 00:06:06,888
I'll sign up for the hot dog
eating contest!
82
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-Deal.
Let's go creep on Dana.
83
00:06:09,499 --> 00:06:11,414
-It's not creeping.
-Oh?
84
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-Me and Dana were
like this in elementary school.
85
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-And then she grew boobs.
86
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And then you grew boobs.
87
00:06:17,202 --> 00:06:21,555
But, hey, why let
that stop you now?
88
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-Thanks for reminding me!
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♪♪
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♪♪
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-[ Sniffing ]
92
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[ Dogs barking ]
93
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-Would you rather have
hot dogs for fingers
94
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or Cap'n Crunch for teeth?
95
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,207
-Well, if the Cap'n Crunch
for teeth is permanent,
96
00:07:05,337 --> 00:07:07,470
milk would taste
so much better, every time.
97
00:07:07,601 --> 00:07:10,212
-But you couldn't floss, ever.
98
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-I don't floss now.
99
00:07:11,909 --> 00:07:13,389
-True.
100
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,391
Here's why I would have
hot dogs for fingers.
101
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Ketchup.
Barbecue sauce.
102
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-You're just gonna
suck on barbecue sauce
103
00:07:19,656 --> 00:07:21,179
like a freak
for the rest of your life?
104
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-That's the plan.
105
00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:28,012
-[ Screaming ]
106
00:07:28,143 --> 00:07:29,971
-What's wrong?
107
00:07:33,235 --> 00:07:34,454
-Don't look, Christopher.
108
00:07:34,584 --> 00:07:36,586
I know you.
You can't handle it.
109
00:07:36,717 --> 00:07:39,197
-I'm sure whatever it is I --
I can handle it.
110
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[ Screams ]
111
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Sorry. Uh...
112
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Yeah. I can handle this.
113
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-Holy shit.
114
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I thought this was a no-kill
animal shelter.
115
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-This is horrible.
116
00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:18,889
♪♪
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♪♪
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00:08:29,030 --> 00:08:38,909
♪♪
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♪♪
7388
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