Original subtitles

♪ Hello, world, hear the song that we're singin'

♪ come on, get happy

♪ a whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringin'

♪ we'll make you happy

♪ we had a dream we'd go travelin' together

♪ and spread a little lovin' then we'd keep movin' on

♪ somethin' always happens whenever we're together

♪ we get a happy feelin' when we're singin' a song

♪ travelin' along there's a song that we're singin'

♪ come on, get happy

♪ a whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringin'

♪ we'll make you happy

♪ we'll make you happy

♪ we'll make you happy ♪

Shirley: Laurie, would you mind getting the garage door?

That's funny. It was open when we left.

Wait a minute. I can't allow you to do that.

Acting like a gentleman? You must be delirious.

Why don't we just leave the car in the driveway.

It looks great there.

What's the matter?

Danny doesn't want us to open the door.

He probably rented our garage to a bookie.

All right, danny. What's in there?

You'll never guess.

I don't intend to stand here trying.

Hi. What's happening?

Danny's doing his famous monty hall impression.

We're supposed to figure out what's behind door number one.

See, keith sold me a raffle ticket a couple of months ago and...

Yeah. right. i remember. First prize was an albertini.

Sounds like something you put tomato sauce on.

Happens to be an italian sports car.

Danny, are you trying to tell us you won the raffle?

In a manner of speaking.

Keith: Hey, fantastic.

What color is it?

Sort of an off-brown.

Is it a convertible?

You could say that.

I bet the interior's incredible.

Genuine leather.

How many horsepower is it?

One. One?

One? One?

Mom, i didn't win first prize.

I won second.

(Horse neighing)

Mom, laurie, keith.

I'd like you to meet f. scott fitzgerald.

Don't tell me, we won a horse that writes novels.

He's a racehorse. Fourth-generation thoroughbred.

Danny, i don't care how thorough he's bred.

We cannot keep him in the garage.

Why not?

Well, for one thing, he's not garage-broken.

Can't we sit down and talk this thing out rationally?

Danny, i'm sure f. scott appreciates your offer,

but i'm afraid he just wouldn't be comfortable in your room.

Mom, there's a horse in the garage.

Is he my birthday present?

Your birthday isn't for six months.

It's okay. I don't mind.

Can we keep him?

We were just discussing that.

You know, he probably couldn't be sold for much.

He is a used horse.

Yeah, well, maybe we could put him out to stud.

What's that?

That's what every racehorse dreams of.

I say f. scott could be the beginning of an empire.

We'll make a fortune.

If we start now, he'll be ready for the kentucky derby,

the preakness, and the belmont.

Mmm-hmm.

And you'll be the first owner shorter than the jockey.

With f. scott's earnings, we can buy more horses,

and partridge farms would be worth a fortune.

Why, sure, mom.

You know, it's not every day that you win an empire in a raffle.

I'm surrounded by doubters.

Danny, have you figured out

what it's gonna cost to keep him?

What can it cost?

You throw him a few oats in the morning, and he's happy.

It would be kind of fun to have our own racehorse.

And we did get him free.

Another thing. How do we know he can race?

Well, that's not fair.

I mean, you're looking a gift horse in the mouth.

(Telephone rings)

I'll get it.

Hello?

Yeah. yeah, that's right. My brother won the horse.

What do you mean, "is f. scott happy"?

How can you tell if a horse is happy?

Who is this?

Oh. well, hold on a second. I'll check.

It's f. scott's trainer.

He says he's willing to keep working with f. scott if we want him to.

Mom, wayne newton and burt bacharach have racehorses.

What's that got to do with anything?

Well, they're in music, and we're in music.

It's practically a tradition.

Please, mom.

Danny: come on, mom, please.

Tracy: can we?

Well, i guess it wouldn't do any harm to look in to it.

All right!

(Chattering excitedly)

Thanks, mom.

We're on our way.

Hello, baby. That's a good boy.

Yeah, did you miss me? Yeah, i missed you, too.

You know, me and f. scott's been together since he was a colt.

He's a beautiful horse.

He's more than that, ma'am.

He's intelligent, he's strong, and he's a proud runner.

Here. look at some of the clippings

that some of the handicappers been saying about him.

Listen to this.

Hancock in the news says, "best, always dangerous."

And the racing forum wrote "showing speed in A.M."

"Direct from sweden, the real thing."

Tracy, i think it's on the other side.

Well, this isn't very impressive.

"Could stand improvement."

Oh, that fellow was just prejudiced.

Say, i got some pictures of him

i bet you folks would sure appreciate.

Don't go away. I'll be right back.

(Exhales)

There's something exciting about being around the track.

Yeah, all that money changing hands.

I was referring to the fresh air, the green grass,

and the thrill of competition.

You sound like howard cosell.

Reuben: shirley.

Okay, what is going on?

Shirley: how did you know we were here?

I got danny's message.

Something about white picket fences, mint juleps,

and making a fortune. I really don't understand.

I won a raffle.

I still don't understand.

The prize was a racehorse.

Now that i understand, i wish i didn't understand.

Why? What's wrong with owning a racehorse?

Nothing. nothing.

It's just that horse racing is frustrating,

aggravating, completely unpredictable,

not to mention expensive.

Come on, mr. kincaid. It's the sport of kings. True.

And most of them are broke.

Here, i brought his scrapbook.

It's got all his colt pictures.

Why, kincaid, how you doing, boy?

Hello, will!

You two know each other?

Yeah, well, i used to go to the track once in a while.

"Once in a while"?

Well, reuben here used to be known as the poor man's...

Are you handling this horse?

I sure am. Thank you, danny.

Looks like a real winner.

That was a quick change.

You didn't tell me old will here was training him.

I was thinking that maybe we could run him in the san pueblo county fair

in a couple of weeks.

If he's ready, and if it's all right with miss partridge, here.

Well, mom?

We'll be playing a concert there anyway.

Take a look at this animal.

I mean, he can't wait to start.

(Neighing)

Well, i guess that's the only way

we'll ever find out if he really is a winner or not.

59 and 3.

Thataboy.

Hey, he's coming along just right.

Will, how are you? Hi, pete.

This is that jockey i was telling you about.

Pete navarro, this is keith and danny partridge.

Danny here's the owner.

Hey, why don't you boys get acquainted,

and i'll go check on f. scott

and see if he come out of his work okay?

Can you tell me why you want the job?

You're kidding.

No.

It's what i do for a living.

Why did you leave your previous employment?

The race was over.

"The race was over."

Excuse me.

What are you doing?

Well, i talked to mr. burnett at the bank,

and he said these are the questions he asks

to get the best employees.

Danny, we're not hiring a bank teller.

Please, keith. I'm trying to be as scientific about this as possible.

Now, can you tell me where you'd like your career to be five years from now?

(Chuckles)

As far away from you as possible.

Wait a minute.

(Speaking spanish)

Speaks two languages.

(Speaking spanish)

What's wrong?

That kid thinks he's howard hughes.

I'm terribly sorry.

He gets carried away. Please wait here.

Danny. Congratulations, pete. You got the job.

Look at these bills we've gotten.

All those are for the horse?

Stable, trainer, groom, entry fee.

This is getting to be very expensive.

Mom, look at these colors i got for the jockey.

My favorites. 14-karat gold and dollar green.

Danny, don't you think we could get something a little less luxurious,

like something in a nice wash-and-wear?

Mom, it's not a luxury. It's an investment.

(Telephone rings)

Hello? hi, will.

Oh. all right. We'll be right there. bye.

There's a problem with f. scott.

Is he hurt?

Well, will said he doesn't want to talk about it on the phone.

Maybe it's not a bad problem.

No, it's probably a good problem.

I've been training horses for nearly 30 years,

and i thought i knew all the answers,

but this one's got me stumped.

Where is he?

Out yonder on the turn.

That's f. scott in the middle.

He looks all right to me.

What's his problem?

Just watch. Are you ready, boys?

All right, go!

Hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Maybe he's just letting them get a head start.

He didn't hear you say "go"?

We've got a real problem on our hands.

Insomnia? That's right.

He hasn't had a wink of sleep in four nights.

That's why he won't run.

Has the vet seen him?

Yeah. He's checked him twice in the last couple of days.

He says there's nothing wrong with him physically.

It's all psychological.

How about that? We have a neurotic horse.

What are we gonna do?

Can't he give him a sleeping pill or something?

He's afraid it'd mess him up this close to the race.

He won't be running the race if we don't solve his problem.

That's true. You got any suggestions?

Have you tried warm milk?

Mom.

Look. i found this book at the library. 99 ways to better sleep.

Did you realize that louis xiv had over 400 beds?

If we really want f. scott to fall asleep,

we should read him that book.

Danny, what's your point?

There are plenty of methods to cure insomnia.

Oh, really? What's your solution?

Hypnosis. Terrific.

The vet has tried everything. I think in this case, no idea is too silly.

How about a water bed?

That's too silly.

Hi, there.

I want you to remember one thing.

Everything i'm about to do is for your own good.

All i ask is that you trust me.

Last time he said that, he hocked my stereo.

Now, watch the watch.

You're getting sleepier and sleepier.

Your eyes are getting heavier and heavier.

I did it! Did what?

I made him blink.

Danny, i don't think this is gonna work.

Don't be so pessimistic.

They say music has charm that soothes the savage beast.

It's "savage breast," and I still feel ridiculous.

This is no time to think about yourself.

All right.

I've played to some weird audiences before, but this takes the cake.

You ready?

(Neighs)

(Guitar playing)

♪ Lullaby and good night

♪ with roses bedight

♪ with lilies bedecked

♪ is baby's wee bed

♪ lay thee down now and rest

♪ may thy slumber be blessed

♪ lay thee down now and rest

♪ may thy slumber be blessed ♪

You see? It's no use.

He'd probably rather have us read him a bedtime story.

Danny?

Man on tv: This concludes our viewing day,

so until tomorrow, kxiu signing off.

He's still wide awake.

I can't believe it.

No one could stay up through an hour and a half

of bert parks telling dick cavett his life story.

Bert parks even nodded off a couple of times.

There's only one thing left to do.

What? Give up.

We can't give up.

Well, i sure hate to admit it,

but it all looks pretty hopeless to me.

How's he doing, homer? Well, i'll tell you.

If there was a contest for standing in one place the longest,

he'd win by a mile.

Folks, this is homer peck, the groom.

Homer, this is the partridge family.

How do you do, ma'am? How do you do?

They're singers. Singers?

Well, i'll be. No kidding. What band you with?

Dorsey? miller? Harry james?

Homer don't think there was any music written after 1942.

Well, not any worth listening to, anyways.

Doggone it.

I'd give you folks the pleasure of hearing some of it,

but my tape machine's broken.

That's too bad.

Homer don't care much about anything

except the horses and glenn miller.

Why, he sleeps right here on the shed row most of the time.

You sleep with the horses?

Yeah, except for the past three nights.

You see, i kind of got lucky with a long shot.

Past three nights, i've been living like a king.

Why'd you come back?

I got unlucky with a long shot.

You bet on horses, too?

Only when they're running.

(Big band music playing on tape player)

There you go. It's fixed.

Well, i'll be danged.

Thank you, young fellow.

Oh, no trouble.

Will, look!

Well, i'll be doggone.

Of course.

Why, his insomnia started about the time that homer's machine broke down.

He misses that music.

Glenn miller put him to sleep?

I don't believe it. A horse hooked on swing.

You know, a horse can get used to a noise or a sound

and be real upset if it disappears.

Do you think he has a chance now?

What do you say, homer?

Well, i say 4 to 1.

To win?

No, that he wakes up in time for the race.

(People chattering)

Where's danny? If he doesn't get here soon, we'll miss the race.

It's not like him to be late.

Maybe he's giving f. scott a pep talk.

Not even danny would go that far.

All right, boy, this is it, the big one.

Maybe not the biggest, but it's big.

Now, i don't want you to win it for me.

I want you to win it for you.

Do you know what this is?

It's a plow horse.

(Neighing)

He doesn't run around a track once a day.

For him, it's eight hours of hard work.

And one more reason you've got to win. For my family,

especially my mom.

When you run around that track today,

think of her and all the faith she's put in you.

I guess that's about it. But don't forget.

You finished?

Oh, yeah.

See, i hate to run a race with tears in my eyes.

Man on pa: Ladies and gentlemen,

the san pueblo county fair proudly presents...

Where have you been?

Psyching up our investment.

The partridge family.

(Crowd applauding)

♪ Down, doobie-do down, down come-a come-a

♪ down, doobie-do down, down come-a come-a

♪ down, doobie-do down, down come-a come-a

♪ down, doobie-do down

♪ don't take your love away from me

♪ don't you leave my heart in misery

♪ if you go, then I'll be blue

♪ 'cause breaking up is hard to do

♪ remember when you held me tight

♪ and you kissed me all through the night

♪ think of all that we been through

♪ 'cause breaking up is hard to do

♪ they say that breaking up is hard to do

♪ now I know, I know that it's true

♪ don't say that this is the end

♪ instead of breaking up

♪ I wish that we were making up again

♪ I beg of you, don't say goodbye

♪ can't we give our love another try?

♪ Come on, baby, let's start anew

♪ 'cause breaking up is hard to do

♪ they say that breaking up is hard to do

♪ now I know, I know that it's true

♪ don't say that this is the end

♪ instead of breaking up

♪ I wish that we were making up again

♪ I beg of you, don't say goodbye

♪ can't we give our love another try?

♪ Come on, baby, let's start anew

♪ 'cause breaking up is hard to do

♪ down, doobie-do down, down come-a come-a

♪ down, doobie-do down, down come-a come-a

♪ down, doobie-do down, down come-a come-a ♪ breaking up is hard to do

♪ down, doobie-do down, down come-a come-a ♪ breaking up is hard to do

♪ down, doobie-do down, down come-a come-a ♪ breaking up is hard to do

♪ down, doobie-do down, down come-a come-a ♪ breaking up is hard to do

♪ all: Breaking up is hard to do ♪

(Crowd cheering)

(Trumpet blowing)

Hey, you wanna place any bets?

Well, we pooled our money

and we've come up with $10 to put on f. scott to win.

Sure you wanna put it all on the nose? That's right.

Man on pa: The horses are approaching the starting gate.

Mr. kincaid, i have seven more cents.

Yeah, well, i'll cover it, tracy.

I think the seven-cent window is closed.

Tracy: Which one's f. scott?

Keith: There he is. Number seven

man on pa: all right. We got just one more to get in there now.

All right, the flag is up.

Well, this is it. Cross your fingers.

Yeah. Couple of more seconds,

we'll know whether or not he dozed off at the gate.

I'm afraid to watch.

(Bell rings) Commentator: And they're off.

And zimzam goes to the front, followed by laryngitis,

sadie brady, foolish phil, kitty's boy, skip along, mixed double,

Lulu's boyfriend, and f. scott fitzgerald.

I knew i shouldn't have watched.

Danny, the race just started.

Now it's laryngitis moving up on dr. maybe,

followed by sadie brady, with skip along,

as they turn to go up the back stretch.

It's not fair!

The other jockeys are probably whistling moonlight serenade.

As they round the turn, laryngitis is holding that lead.

Sadie brady is second. Zimzam is third. Then we got kitty's boy...

Come on, f. scott. This is no time to nod off.

Now up the back stretch, that is zimzam, now dr. maybe.

You can do it, boy. You're a champion.

It's laryngitis, dr. maybe, and bonny lass.

And here comes f. scott fitzgerald.

I think he heard you.

He's got it made now.

How can he have it made? He's in seventh place.

F. scott fitzgerald is threading his way through that field.

Lulu's boy, bonnie lee, and mixed double.

Come on, f. scott!

Dr. maybe holding the lead, and f. scott...

Come on! Run!

Come on, f. scott!

They're starting to head for home,

and f. scott fitzgerald is coming through on the inside.

Win one for glenn miller!

They're head-to-head coming down the stretch. Dr. maybe's got that lead.

Run, you dummy, run!

And he's coming up fast. He's looking dr. maybe in the eye.

They're neck and neck. Dr. maybe and f. scott fitzgerald.

F. scott is out on top by a head.

Remember the eight-hour day!

They're coming down to the line of finish.

It looks like f. scott fitzgerald.

And it's f. scott pulling ahead.

F. scott wins by two lengths.

(All cheering)

I was never worried.

I knew he was a champion.

I won a bigger trophy at camp for cleanest fingernails.

It's not the size of the trophy that matters.

It's the size of the challenge.

He's right. Besides, if we get really hard up,

we can always melt it into a paper clip.

It's a very nice trophy, Danny.

Wait till you see the one we get when f. scott wins the kentucky derby.

You'd better forget about the derby.

Why? F. scott's on his way. He's got momentum.

He's also too old.

Too old? He's four.

A horse has to be three to run in the derby.

Only four, and he's already over the hill.

Suddenly, i feel very old.