Original subtitles

♪ Hello, world, hear the song that we're singin'

♪ come on, get happy

♪ a whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringin'

♪ we'll make you happy

♪ we had a dream we'd go travelin' together

♪ and spread a little lovin' then we'd keep movin' on

♪ somethin' always happens whenever we're together

♪ we get a happy feelin' when we're singin' a song

♪ travelin' along there's a song that we're singin'

♪ come on, get happy

♪ a whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringin'

♪ we'll make you happy

♪ we'll make you happy

♪ we'll make you happy

mmm-hmm.

Mmm-hmm.

Yeah, well, thanks anyway, Paula.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know it's kind of late in the week to ask.

Okay. Yeah, bye.

Don't tell me america's sex symbol can't get a date.

(Sighs) It's no use.

You can't make me feel any more miserable than I already am.

Oh, why did you call so late in the week?

(Sighs) For your information, I had a date with Naomi ledbetter.

But she sprained her knee in gym.

Aw.

Well, why don't you ask Yvonne klemper?

She's always available.

That's why.

You don't have a date this weekend?

Oh, I... I had a date.

But she has water on the knee.

Keith, there is no rule that says you have to have a date every weekend.

Yeah, I don't have a date either.

We'll have a great time.

(Sighs) Think I'll go call Yvonne klemper.

Hi, everybody. Laurie: Hi, Reuben.

Shirley: Hi, Reuben.

Say, Keith. What do you got planned this weekend?

Nothing.

Laurie, if you don't mind, I can speak for myself.

Nothing.

How would you like me to fix you up?

Thanks, Reuben, but I can get my own dates.

That's it, Keith. Don't let him know how desperate you really are.

This is just not a date, this is a Princess.

Uh, let's see. The last time you said that,

the Princess turned out to be your cousin,

affectionately known as chubby.

You don't understand. This one is a Princess, a real Princess.

She is in this country on a visit sponsored by the state department.

Reuben, are you serious?

She is a fan.

She wanted to meet Keith, so they arranged her trip to include a few days here.

I think you are serious.

Picture is in this morning's paper.

She is even better looking than Naomi ledbetter.

And probably has better knees.

Reuben: Oh, one more thing.

A telegram from the secretary of state.

"dear Mr. Partridge, congratulations.

"it is your honor to have been chosen as host to a visiting dignitary.

"it is not only an honor, but a great responsibility.

"I'm sure you will handle this duty well

"and will at all times bear in mind that you are representing

"the United States of america."

Keith?

Now, remember, Keith,

this is your chance to move up in the social structure.

Don't blow it.

I wonder if I should have worn my blue suit. It looks more dignified.

Keith, you look fine.

Besides, she's here to meet you, not your suit.

Everybody, this is Cecil turnbow.

He's from the diplomatic corps.

You're a diplomat?

Ah, you were expecting a blue suit and a tie, weren't you?

Well, we have to change with the times just like everyone else.

How do you do, Mr. Turnbow? It's very nice to meet you.

Cecil, please. And that goes for everyone.

I don't want you to think of me as a government official.

Think of me as a friend.

Oh, I want you to meet my counterpart from the Princess's country,

Frederick la forge.

We've heard so much about you.

It's a pleasure to meet such a charming American family.

How do you do?

Now, mind your manners.

Remember, you're representing america.

I wonder if the white house knows about this.

May I present her highness, Princess Genevieve.

Your highness, this is Shirley partridge.

I'm very pleased to meet you, Mrs. Partridge.

We're delighted to have you visit us.

And this is Laurie.

How do you do? Hello.

Say, that's a great purse. Where did you get it?

Oh, downtown at Murphy's on sale for $6.95.

(Gasps) That's terrific. I'll have to stop by there.

Oh, this is Danny.

Hello, Danny.

Your majesty.

Cecil: Chris and Tracy.

Chris, Tracy.

Cecil: And this is Keith.

Now, you two just relax and get to know each other.

Hi. Hi.

Well, how was your...

Excuse me, the reporters are waiting.

Trip?

I knew you two would hit it off.

Hi, kids. You better get dressed.

The Princess will be here soon.

Well, that's what we came to talk to you about.

What's the matter? Keith.

Keith? He's a creepo.

He's upstairs, picking out what we're supposed to wear tonight.

Yeah, he even wants to rehearse dinner

to see if our manners are good enough.

That's not a bad idea.

He's also assigning conversation topics.

Mine's the treaty of versailles.

Why did it fail?

Very interesting topic.

Mom, I get the feeling you're not gonna do anything about this.

That's right, and neither are you.

Look, this is Keith's date,

and he wants to make a good impression.

And I want every one of you to cooperate.

Besides, there's nothing wrong with dressing up,

table manners, or the treaty of versailles.

Danny.

Here, I marked the place.

Just remember, the common market, pros and cons.

You got it?

How's dinner coming? Fine.

Good. Uh, could I see what you're gonna wear tonight?

No.

But you just said cooperate.

Parent's privilege.

The average rainfall in her country is?

12.4 inches.

What's the leading export?

(Sighs) Ah, the leading export...

Keith, this is a dinner date, not midterms.

This is not just any date.

She's a very intelligent girl.

She's well-informed and well-read and...

Keith, will you relax?

I am relaxed.

(Doorbell rings)

Leading export is... Textiles.

I got to remember that.

Why don't you write the answers on your shirt cuff?

Good...

(Doorbell rings)

Keith, answer the door.

All right.

What's the matter?

How do you greet royalty in your own home?

You could start by opening the door.

(Clears throat)

Who are you? Oh, I'm Valentine.

I just wanted to assure you folks everything's under control.

You've got nothing to worry about.

We don't?

No, we've got the place surrounded by 15 men.

Well, have fun.

Thanks.

It does kind of give you a sense of security.

It also makes me glad we have curtains.

(Doorbell rings)

(Clears throat)

Hi. Hi.

Welcome to our home, your highness.

Thank you.

I'm sorry I'm not dressed, but I thought...

Oh, no, no, you're dressed right.

We, uh... we just got back from church.

On Friday night?

Shalom.

Come in.

Did you have a chance to visit San Francisco?

Oh, yes. I really enjoyed it.

It's so different from my country.

(Clears throat)

I understand your country's main export is textiles.

Yes, it is.

Do you have to travel a great deal?

A lot, but usually in an official way.

What I'd really love to do is travel by myself on my own.

(Clears throat)

Um...

What do you think of the common market?

I don't know much about it, really.

Thank goodness.

(Clears throat)

Mother, would you please pass me the potatoes?

Pardon me.

Tracy: Keith, Chris is using the wrong fork. Chris: I am not.

You're supposed to be using the big one.

I dropped my big one.

Kids...

With this many forks, you can afford to drop a few.

(Chuckles)

Uh, he's a great little kidder.

Could I say something, please?

I was hoping you would.

You know, it's not very easy being a Princess.

Some people don't think they can be themselves when I'm around.

And all I really wanted to do was have dinner with a normal American family.

But I'd like to be honest with you

because I think you're very nice people.

I feel like I'm at a state dinner.

Well, your highness... Please.

Call me genny.

My friends do.

And relax.

I promise not to have you thrown into the dungeon.

In that case, I'll use my spoon.

You'll use your fork.

Well, good night.

Good night, honey. Good night, genny.

Good night, Mrs. Partridge.

And thank you for a wonderful evening.

It's been our pleasure.

(Sighs)

I can't believe it.

We're finally alone. Just you and me.

(Knocking on door)

And 15 bodyguards.

(Sighs)

I, uh... I don't suppose I could have just one more minute with her highness?

Oh, sure. Take two.

Thanks.

(Sighs)

Two minutes.

Why can't I have a normal date like a normal girl?

Well, I guess you just have to be born into the right social class.

You were overborn.

Keith, we could.

Could what? Have a real date.

Go to a movie or whatever people do on real dates.

Are you kidding? We'd have to find a theater with 17 seats together.

It would be easy.

You'd only have to do one little thing.

What? Kidnap me.

What's so funny?

No offense, but you look ridiculous.

Kidnappers can't be choosers.

That's okay. I have a thing for men in uniform.

Come on. Get in. That's a terrific idea.

Yeah. I saw it in an old movie once.

Wish I could remember if it worked.

Genny: How are we doing?

Oh, just great.

Valentine: Hey, bellhop!

Bring us a couple of buckets of ice up here in 436, will you?

(Clears throat) Yes, sir. I'll get it right away.

Hey, buddy, come here a minute, will you?

Along with that ice, bring us a six-pack of soda.

Yes, sir.

And half a dozen ham sandwiches.

Yes, sir. On rye.

Yes, of course.

Genny?

Genny: What?

Genny: Keith, is anything wrong? Keith?

Woman on speaker: And as I request a postponement

so that I may review the case...

(Turns off speaker)

Keith, are you nervous?

Nervous? What makes you say that?

Well, we've been here 20 minutes,

and you still haven't turned off the motor.

Oh.

(Turns off engine)

Nobody followed us.

They think I'm still in my room, asleep.

(Sighs) You're right. There's no reason to be worried.

You know, it seems that most of these people have seen this movie before.

What?

Oh.

Yeah.

Keith.

Yeah?

So have I.

(Sighs)

It's no use. I just can't be myself.

I thought we were past that.

I just can't help it. I've never taken royalty to a drive-in before.

I mean, the closest I ever came was dating Naomi ledbetter.

Her father was a 32nd-degree Mason.

Well, why don't we start from the beginning?

Just pretend I'm Naomi ledbetter.

What would you do first?

(Clears throat)

And I'd probably do this.

Right?

Right.

Then what?

Well, then I'd...

But I can't.

Try. Concentrate.

(Sighs)

Okay, I'll concentrate.

Then I'd probably...

See, the president didn't declare war or anything.

You're right.

I mean, there's nothing to worry about.

(Chuckles)

Thanks, partridge, your highness.

Laurie: That's too bad, Keith. He caught your bad side.

I didn't know he had a good one.

Today in the San pueblo daily, tomorrow the police gazette.

You've got a great future in scandal.

All right, that's enough.

Keith, it isn't the end of the world.

I'll admit, sneaking her out of the hotel

wasn't the best idea you've ever had.

But no one was hurt by it.

Mom's right, Keith. Stop worrying.

(Sighs) I'm not worried about myself, it's genny.

Nothing is going to happen to genny.

(Phone ringing)

It may seem terrible now, but it's no big thing.

Hello?

Yes, Mr. Secretary.

No, Mr. Secretary.

Goodbye, Mr. Secretary.

It's a big thing.

I don't believe it. I had everything planned.

Gentlemen, let's all try to be calm.

And a drive-in movie was not on the itinerary.

Well, I'm sure my client meant no harm.

Cecil, I... Mr. Turnbow.

Mr. Turnbow.

Cecil: This is trouble, big trouble.

Foreign policy has to be considered.

There are trade agreements in the balance,

and the last thing we needed

was for him to cause an international incident.

Just a moment!

Shirley. Please.

Yes, your excellency. I quite agree.

That was our ambassador.

We have decided our official position on the matter.

Which is? It's your fault.

Cecil: My fault?

La forge: You allowed him to scurry our Princess away in the night.

Now, hold on. This was not a government-approved kidnapping.

Your security men were guarding her.

I think it's quite obvious

that your Princess lured our rock singer into this mess.

I don't agree at all. You promised me the utmost security...

Well, don't talk about security to me.

(Both diplomats arguing)

That's enough!

You two act as though you've uncovered an international conspiracy.

A boy and a girl decided they liked each other.

They wanted to go out on a date.

They wanted to be alone for an evening

to get to know each other.

Everyone kept telling them to relax and enjoy themselves.

And when they finally tried it,

suddenly they weren't kids anymore,

they were government property.

Seems to me if they were allowed to be people instead of countries,

everything would turn out all right.

(Sighs)

That's it. That's all I have to say.

Thank you, Mrs. Partridge.

If my mother were here, she would have said exactly the same thing.

(Together we're better playing)

♪ last night, you know, I couldn't sleep

♪ wouldn't sleep

♪ tossin' and turnin' about

♪ thinkin' about the way it's been

♪ hey, it's been so hard to figure out

♪ we go on sneakin' around

♪ smoky places all over town

♪ you go home and it's all over

♪ baby, you know, it's gettin' me down

♪ 'cause we're one step short of our heaven

♪ and we won't stop short till we get there together

♪ together, baby, we're better

♪ on our own, we're fine, but united, we're dynamite

♪ one step short of our heaven

♪ and we won't stop short till we get there together

♪ together, baby, we're better

♪ we're better together

♪ together we're better

All: ♪ ba-ba ba-ba-da ba-ba-da ba-da

♪ ba-da ba-da

♪ ba-ba ba-ba-da ba ba

♪ you and me sneakin' around

♪ meetin' in shadows, hidin' away

♪ till we're free to stay together

♪ all of the time, baby, all the way

♪ 'cause we're one step short of our heaven

♪ and we won't stop short till we get there together

♪ together, baby, we're better

♪ we're better together

♪ together we're better

♪ one step short of our heaven

♪ and we won't stop short till we get there together

♪ together, baby, we're better

♪ we're better together

♪ together we're better

Goodbye, Mrs. Partridge.

I hope we see you again soon.

I hope so. I'll miss you all so much.

Goodbye, Laurie. Goodbye, genny.

Oh, I got the last one for $5.95.

(Both laughing)

Goodbye, Chris and Tracy.

Don't forget you promised to send us a picture of your castle.

I won't forget.

Here's ours.

Bye, Danny. I'm sorry I couldn't help you with what you wanted.

It's all right.

I should have known you had to be over 18 to be a knight, anyway.

Goodbye, Keith.

Hang on to your bellboy costume.

You never know when you might run into a Princess who wants to be kidnapped.

Bye.

♪ Stay together

♪ all of the time, baby, all the way

♪ 'cause we're one step short of our heaven

♪ and we won't stop short till we get there together

♪ together, baby, we're better

♪ we're better together

♪ together we're better

♪ one step short of our heaven

♪ and we won't stop short till we get there together

♪ together, baby, we're better

♪ we're better together

♪ together we're better