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1
00:00:10,195 --> 00:00:13,162
Okay, Calvin, I know
you're not a craft beer man,
2
00:00:13,187 --> 00:00:15,210
but I think
you might like this one.
3
00:00:15,450 --> 00:00:17,017
It's locally brewed.
4
00:00:18,385 --> 00:00:19,603
Wow.
5
00:00:19,628 --> 00:00:21,367
Wow, not bad. Who makes it?
6
00:00:21,392 --> 00:00:23,254
Me. Right upstairs in my bathtub.
7
00:00:25,168 --> 00:00:27,554
Okay, all right.
Come on, Tina, let's go.
8
00:00:28,031 --> 00:00:30,211
Dave just made me
drink his bathwater.
9
00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:32,890
Calvin, come on. Stop. No.
10
00:00:32,915 --> 00:00:34,945
I-I haven't finished my wine yet.
11
00:00:34,970 --> 00:00:37,226
Dave didn't make this
in your toilet, did he?
12
00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:38,984
No, this is French.
13
00:00:39,009 --> 00:00:41,545
If anything,
it was made in a bidet.
14
00:00:42,287 --> 00:00:43,483
Well, I like it.
15
00:00:43,508 --> 00:00:45,757
Why don't you bring over
another bottle tomorrow night
16
00:00:45,782 --> 00:00:47,129
and we can hang out?
17
00:00:47,154 --> 00:00:49,773
I'd love to, but Dave and I
have a date night.
18
00:00:49,798 --> 00:00:53,835
Yeah, that's right. Tomorrow,
I'll be drinking your bathwater.
19
00:00:56,632 --> 00:00:59,227
Well, you two seem
extra in love tonight.
20
00:00:59,252 --> 00:01:00,593
Yeah, knock it off.
21
00:01:02,484 --> 00:01:04,529
Yeah, well, we're always
a little extra lovey-dovey
22
00:01:04,554 --> 00:01:06,469
after we see
our couples therapist.
23
00:01:06,494 --> 00:01:08,335
Oh, I didn't know
you two went to therapy.
24
00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:10,656
Y-Yeah, yeah. Sorry to hear that.
25
00:01:10,846 --> 00:01:13,273
If they get a divorce,
you get Dave.
26
00:01:14,868 --> 00:01:16,531
Don't worry, we're totally fine.
27
00:01:16,556 --> 00:01:18,641
We just go every now and
then for a little tune-up.
28
00:01:18,666 --> 00:01:19,972
Dr. Chen is great.
29
00:01:19,997 --> 00:01:21,632
She's really helped us
communicate.
30
00:01:21,792 --> 00:01:23,922
It's breathed new life
into our marriage.
31
00:01:23,947 --> 00:01:26,671
Yeah, uh, speaking
of breathing life,
32
00:01:26,696 --> 00:01:28,381
I could use some
mouth-to-mouth right now.
33
00:01:30,349 --> 00:01:32,902
Okay, all right,
I-I don't know if it's them
34
00:01:32,927 --> 00:01:35,211
or Dave's bath beer,
but I got to throw up.
35
00:01:41,242 --> 00:01:45,023
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
36
00:01:45,273 --> 00:01:46,922
- Hey, boys.
- Oh, hey.
37
00:01:46,947 --> 00:01:48,656
Hey, how was y'all night
at the Johnsons'?
38
00:01:48,681 --> 00:01:50,991
- Tina, can I tell them?
- No. That's none of y...
39
00:01:51,016 --> 00:01:53,070
Dave and Gemma see a therapist.
40
00:01:54,338 --> 00:01:55,751
Calvin.
41
00:01:55,776 --> 00:01:57,211
I'm sorry, babe,
42
00:01:57,236 --> 00:01:59,849
Dave's funky-ass beer
went straight to my head.
43
00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:03,826
Oh, wait. Dave and Gemma
see a therapist?
44
00:02:03,851 --> 00:02:05,412
I didn't know they was having problems.
45
00:02:05,437 --> 00:02:06,748
Dave and Gemma are fine.
46
00:02:06,773 --> 00:02:09,210
I actually have never
seen them so in love.
47
00:02:09,411 --> 00:02:10,918
It was gross.
48
00:02:11,993 --> 00:02:14,405
Well, I think it's wonderful.
And I'm thinking,
49
00:02:14,430 --> 00:02:17,068
in fact, maybe you and I
should give it a try.
50
00:02:17,093 --> 00:02:19,182
You know? We could always
communicate better.
51
00:02:19,207 --> 00:02:22,108
What? Babe, we communicate just fine.
52
00:02:22,162 --> 00:02:23,279
Dad, seriously?
53
00:02:23,304 --> 00:02:25,430
She just told you not to tell us
about Dave and Gemma,
54
00:02:25,455 --> 00:02:26,693
and you did it anyway.
55
00:02:26,987 --> 00:02:30,335
That's different.
I heard her, I just ignored it.
56
00:02:32,351 --> 00:02:34,202
Well, guess what. We're going.
57
00:02:34,348 --> 00:02:36,307
No, I just said
that I don't want to go.
58
00:02:36,332 --> 00:02:38,600
I heard you, I just ignored it.
59
00:02:42,215 --> 00:02:43,749
Hey, honey,
how's it going up there?
60
00:02:43,774 --> 00:02:45,342
The movie starts
in a half an hour.
61
00:02:45,367 --> 00:02:47,326
- I know. Almost ready.
- Okay, you know
62
00:02:47,351 --> 00:02:49,756
we still have to drop off
Grover at his sleepover, right?
63
00:02:49,781 --> 00:02:51,405
- I know. Almost ready.
- Okay.
64
00:02:51,430 --> 00:02:53,258
And you know I-I hate
to miss the previews.
65
00:02:53,283 --> 00:02:55,311
She knows. She's almost ready.
66
00:02:58,249 --> 00:03:00,529
- Okay, all ready.
- Okay, great. Let's go.
67
00:03:00,554 --> 00:03:02,529
I just need to put on my shoes,
touch up my makeup
68
00:03:02,554 --> 00:03:04,819
and transfer all my stuff
into my tiny purse.
69
00:03:05,532 --> 00:03:07,273
Well, then,
why'd you come downstairs?
70
00:03:07,527 --> 00:03:09,318
To tell you that I'm ready.
71
00:03:12,647 --> 00:03:14,867
I can't believe
I let you drag me in here.
72
00:03:14,892 --> 00:03:18,242
- Come on, Calvin, keep an open mind.
- Nah, Tina.
73
00:03:18,394 --> 00:03:20,422
You know what happens
when you keep an open mind?
74
00:03:20,565 --> 00:03:22,421
New stuff gets in there.
75
00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:26,075
Hi, there.
76
00:03:26,100 --> 00:03:27,264
Sorry to keep you waiting.
77
00:03:27,289 --> 00:03:28,640
- I'm Dr. Chen.
- Hi.
78
00:03:28,665 --> 00:03:30,409
I'm Tina Butler. This
is my husband Calvin.
79
00:03:30,434 --> 00:03:31,739
Hello.
80
00:03:34,947 --> 00:03:38,905
Okay, then. If you're ready,
how about we jump in?
81
00:03:39,159 --> 00:03:41,185
How long have you guys
been married?
82
00:03:41,210 --> 00:03:42,776
31 years.
83
00:03:43,039 --> 00:03:44,889
And after all that time together,
84
00:03:44,914 --> 00:03:47,156
how would you describe
your intimacy?
85
00:03:47,181 --> 00:03:49,694
Oh, it's freaky.
86
00:03:51,530 --> 00:03:54,506
Yeah, at least, you know,
three or four times a week.
87
00:03:54,531 --> 00:03:56,570
Five if it's slow at the shop.
88
00:03:59,085 --> 00:04:01,788
Actually, I was talking about
your emotional intimacy,
89
00:04:01,813 --> 00:04:03,358
not your physical intimacy.
90
00:04:03,654 --> 00:04:05,117
But damn.
91
00:04:06,521 --> 00:04:09,338
Well, uh, what do you mean
by emotional intimacy?
92
00:04:09,776 --> 00:04:11,538
I mean, how often
you guys sit down
93
00:04:11,563 --> 00:04:12,851
and connect with each other?
94
00:04:12,876 --> 00:04:14,704
You know,
talk about your feelings,
95
00:04:14,729 --> 00:04:16,382
share your vulnerabilities.
96
00:04:16,574 --> 00:04:18,271
Isn't the point of getting married
97
00:04:18,296 --> 00:04:19,962
so you don't have to do that?
98
00:04:21,389 --> 00:04:23,560
Well, h-honestly, I don't
remember the last time
99
00:04:23,585 --> 00:04:25,238
we did that sort of thing.
100
00:04:25,323 --> 00:04:28,444
Well, in that case,
it sounds like you're using
101
00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:30,907
physical intimacy as a substitute
102
00:04:30,932 --> 00:04:32,663
for connecting on a deeper level.
103
00:04:32,988 --> 00:04:35,031
I'd like to suggest
an exercise for couples
104
00:04:35,056 --> 00:04:37,585
who need to rekindle things
emotionally.
105
00:04:37,766 --> 00:04:39,071
Okay. W-What is it?
106
00:04:39,303 --> 00:04:41,319
Abstain from sex for a month.
107
00:04:44,708 --> 00:04:45,999
You serious?
108
00:04:46,233 --> 00:04:47,601
Y-Yes.
109
00:04:47,626 --> 00:04:51,044
See, Tina? This is why
I keep my mind closed.
110
00:04:51,933 --> 00:04:53,958
I know it sounds challenging,
111
00:04:53,983 --> 00:04:55,795
but it's helped
a lot of my patients.
112
00:04:56,329 --> 00:04:58,679
You can read
more about it in my book.
113
00:05:00,809 --> 00:05:03,557
You read it.
I'll wait for the movie.
114
00:05:05,669 --> 00:05:08,087
Excuse me. Sorry. Excuse me.
115
00:05:08,112 --> 00:05:10,638
Sweetie, slow down. I'm in heels.
116
00:05:10,663 --> 00:05:13,862
Well, just kick them off.
The floor is barely sticky.
117
00:05:15,838 --> 00:05:17,705
See, Dave?
The movie's just started.
118
00:05:17,730 --> 00:05:18,932
We didn't miss anything.
119
00:05:18,957 --> 00:05:20,721
Well, that's not true.
We missed the previews,
120
00:05:20,746 --> 00:05:22,572
and I didn't have time
to go to the bathroom
121
00:05:22,597 --> 00:05:24,164
or get my jumbo pretzel.
122
00:05:26,122 --> 00:05:27,518
Sorry.
123
00:05:27,686 --> 00:05:29,198
Sweetie, it's not a big deal.
124
00:05:29,223 --> 00:05:31,401
If you want a pretzel,
I'll go get it for you.
125
00:05:31,426 --> 00:05:33,050
Give me your wallet.
126
00:05:33,075 --> 00:05:34,745
I couldn't fit mine
in my tiny purse.
127
00:05:35,226 --> 00:05:37,327
Just forget about it.
Let-Let's just sit down.
128
00:05:37,352 --> 00:05:39,682
It's fine. I don't mind missing
a few minutes of the movie.
129
00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:41,588
Well, you say that,
but then when you come back,
130
00:05:41,613 --> 00:05:43,043
you're gonna ask me
what you missed,
131
00:05:43,068 --> 00:05:44,766
and then we'll be talking
during the movie,
132
00:05:44,791 --> 00:05:46,354
and I don't want
to be those people.
133
00:05:46,379 --> 00:05:48,878
- Too late, you already are.
- Sorry.
134
00:05:50,764 --> 00:05:52,737
Look, I'm sorry
we missed the previews,
135
00:05:52,762 --> 00:05:55,027
but we're here now
and the movie's just started.
136
00:05:55,052 --> 00:05:57,088
Can you please
not ruin date night?
137
00:05:57,349 --> 00:06:00,182
Me? I didn't ruin date night.
138
00:06:00,207 --> 00:06:01,799
You're the one who made us late.
139
00:06:01,824 --> 00:06:04,296
Maybe you should give her
the silent treatment.
140
00:06:07,025 --> 00:06:10,369
Well, excuse me for wanting
to look nice on our night out.
141
00:06:10,394 --> 00:06:11,619
Oh, yes, of course.
142
00:06:11,644 --> 00:06:13,479
'Cause what's more
important than looking nice
143
00:06:13,504 --> 00:06:15,682
while you're sitting
in a dark movie theater?
144
00:06:16,884 --> 00:06:18,315
You guys don't
need to see a movie,
145
00:06:18,340 --> 00:06:19,580
you need to see a therapist.
146
00:06:19,605 --> 00:06:21,213
We did.
147
00:06:23,458 --> 00:06:24,895
Can you believe it?
148
00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:26,705
We just paid $30 for a book
149
00:06:26,730 --> 00:06:28,964
that's going
straight in the trash.
150
00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:31,129
Don't throw that out.
151
00:06:31,268 --> 00:06:32,747
Oh, you know what? You're right.
152
00:06:32,852 --> 00:06:35,130
Dave's got a birthday coming up.
153
00:06:36,378 --> 00:06:38,130
Look, Calvin,
I know that you think
154
00:06:38,155 --> 00:06:40,287
going to see Dr. Chen
was a waste of time,
155
00:06:40,312 --> 00:06:42,531
but I think she really might
be on to something
156
00:06:42,556 --> 00:06:44,062
with that abstinence stuff.
157
00:06:44,413 --> 00:06:46,377
Not have sex for a month?
158
00:06:46,402 --> 00:06:48,380
People could die from that.
159
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:50,922
Seriously, Calvin.
160
00:06:50,947 --> 00:06:53,435
When was the last time
we just held hands
161
00:06:53,460 --> 00:06:55,172
and talked about our feelings?
162
00:06:55,197 --> 00:06:57,922
Okay, you know what?
I can do that.
163
00:07:00,871 --> 00:07:02,173
I feel...
164
00:07:03,117 --> 00:07:06,225
that we should go to the bedroom
and do the wild thing.
165
00:07:06,250 --> 00:07:08,655
Oh, Calvin. No.
166
00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:10,007
See? Dr. Chen was right.
167
00:07:10,032 --> 00:07:12,133
We can't even have
a real conversation
168
00:07:12,158 --> 00:07:14,750
about our emotions without you
going straight to sex.
169
00:07:14,775 --> 00:07:16,713
Now, c-come on.
I was just playing.
170
00:07:16,738 --> 00:07:20,213
I mean, of course, unless you
gonna change your answer to yes.
171
00:07:22,538 --> 00:07:25,212
Calvin, I know
this is gonna be difficult,
172
00:07:25,471 --> 00:07:27,833
but we have to do this
for the good of our marriage.
173
00:07:27,921 --> 00:07:31,029
Okay. All right, we can try.
174
00:07:31,347 --> 00:07:35,794
But I think we both know
you can't go without all this
175
00:07:35,819 --> 00:07:37,740
for a whole month.
176
00:07:45,005 --> 00:07:46,466
No. No.
177
00:07:46,491 --> 00:07:47,840
No!
178
00:07:48,292 --> 00:07:51,097
I gave up Diet Coke cold turkey.
179
00:07:51,292 --> 00:07:53,255
I think I'll be just fine.
180
00:07:54,627 --> 00:07:56,585
This ain't no Diet Coke.
181
00:07:56,801 --> 00:07:59,251
This is real sugar, baby.
182
00:08:05,837 --> 00:08:08,322
All right, Marty,
let's hit the gym.
183
00:08:08,569 --> 00:08:10,890
All right, hold on, let me
just finish this chapter.
184
00:08:11,341 --> 00:08:14,125
Uh, why are you reading
Mom and Dad's therapy book?
185
00:08:14,374 --> 00:08:16,520
Because, Malcolm,
our relationship is broken,
186
00:08:16,545 --> 00:08:18,239
and I, for one, want to fix it.
187
00:08:18,501 --> 00:08:21,669
You wonder why I tell people
at the gym we not related.
188
00:08:22,682 --> 00:08:24,466
Now, see?
That's your problem right there.
189
00:08:24,534 --> 00:08:27,239
According to Dr. Chen, when
it comes to sibling dynamics,
190
00:08:27,264 --> 00:08:29,733
the older one often feels
entitled to humiliate
191
00:08:29,758 --> 00:08:31,489
and ridicule the younger sibling.
192
00:08:31,514 --> 00:08:33,825
Yeah, that's fun stuff, huh?
193
00:08:33,998 --> 00:08:35,716
No, man, it's highly dysfunctional
194
00:08:35,741 --> 00:08:37,333
and detrimental to my self-esteem.
195
00:08:37,358 --> 00:08:38,377
I'm an adult now,
196
00:08:38,402 --> 00:08:40,245
and it's time you started
treating me like one.
197
00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:41,735
Oh, you're an adult?
198
00:08:41,957 --> 00:08:44,215
Tell that
to your Star Wars pajamas.
199
00:08:45,406 --> 00:08:46,911
Dad, hasn't Malcolm
200
00:08:46,936 --> 00:08:48,700
been picking on me my whole life?
201
00:08:48,734 --> 00:08:50,715
Yeah. It's some fun stuff, huh?
202
00:08:52,421 --> 00:08:53,622
Man, let's go.
203
00:08:53,809 --> 00:08:56,760
Fine. But for the record,
it wasn't Star Wars pajamas,
204
00:08:56,785 --> 00:08:58,264
it was loungewear.
205
00:09:00,475 --> 00:09:02,088
Morning.
206
00:09:02,332 --> 00:09:04,090
Hey. Morning, babe.
207
00:09:04,196 --> 00:09:06,208
How'd you sleep? Fine.
208
00:09:06,233 --> 00:09:08,840
Even with you trying
to seduce me all night.
209
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,799
What? Me?
210
00:09:11,857 --> 00:09:14,164
I have no idea
what you talking about.
211
00:09:14,189 --> 00:09:15,713
Oh, please.
212
00:09:15,738 --> 00:09:17,697
Singing Barry White in the shower,
213
00:09:17,847 --> 00:09:19,849
wearing your silk boxers to bed.
214
00:09:19,874 --> 00:09:21,239
You had so much cocoa butter on,
215
00:09:21,264 --> 00:09:24,088
I thought I was sleeping
next to a dolphin.
216
00:09:25,054 --> 00:09:28,153
Well, uh, instead of fighting it,
217
00:09:28,454 --> 00:09:30,401
why don't you let me butter you up
218
00:09:30,426 --> 00:09:33,257
and we get all SeaWorld
up in here?
219
00:09:35,267 --> 00:09:37,669
You know what?
I've got a better idea.
220
00:09:37,694 --> 00:09:40,536
How about we sit down
and have breakfast together,
221
00:09:40,561 --> 00:09:42,694
and enjoy
a meaningful conversation?
222
00:09:42,719 --> 00:09:46,215
Sorry, I-I can't, babe.
I don't have the time.
223
00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:51,169
I, uh, I got so much stuff
to fix around the house.
224
00:09:51,194 --> 00:09:52,755
You know.
225
00:09:52,780 --> 00:09:56,146
Which must be hard on you,
226
00:09:56,171 --> 00:09:59,261
because, uh, I know
how you love a man
227
00:09:59,286 --> 00:10:01,963
that can swing his hammer.
228
00:10:10,934 --> 00:10:12,240
You're ridiculous.
229
00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:14,584
Am I?
230
00:10:18,231 --> 00:10:21,871
Come on, Tina. I know you want...
231
00:10:21,896 --> 00:10:23,837
Tina? Oh! Whoa.
232
00:10:26,368 --> 00:10:28,950
I'm gonna have to ease up
on the cocoa butter.
233
00:10:34,212 --> 00:10:36,487
Morning. What are you doing here?
234
00:10:36,512 --> 00:10:38,728
I thought you were picking up
Grover from his sleepover.
235
00:10:38,753 --> 00:10:41,039
What are you talking about?
Pickup's not for another hour.
236
00:10:41,064 --> 00:10:42,744
Yeah, but I want you
to have enough time.
237
00:10:42,769 --> 00:10:46,046
I know if you're even a minute
late, your whole day is ruined.
238
00:10:49,571 --> 00:10:51,505
Well, that's very
thoughtful of you.
239
00:10:51,530 --> 00:10:52,994
I can use that extra time
240
00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:54,752
to try on five different outfits
241
00:10:54,777 --> 00:10:58,337
and transfer my stuff
into my tiny wallet.
242
00:11:00,304 --> 00:11:02,088
Why are you being
such a jerk about this?
243
00:11:02,113 --> 00:11:03,506
It was one movie.
244
00:11:03,531 --> 00:11:05,256
No, no, it's not just one movie.
245
00:11:05,281 --> 00:11:07,471
Okay? It's every time we have
a dinner reservation,
246
00:11:07,496 --> 00:11:10,244
or go see a concert,
or have to be at the airport.
247
00:11:10,269 --> 00:11:12,705
Dave, we have never once
missed a flight because of me.
248
00:11:12,730 --> 00:11:14,525
Yes, that is because I have
never once given you
249
00:11:14,550 --> 00:11:16,228
the correct departure time.
250
00:11:17,970 --> 00:11:20,234
Look, Gemma, the point is,
251
00:11:20,259 --> 00:11:24,089
is that Dr. Chen said that we
need to take each other's needs
252
00:11:24,114 --> 00:11:27,030
into consideration, and I don't
always feel like you do that.
253
00:11:27,227 --> 00:11:29,346
Oh, like you're any better?
254
00:11:30,439 --> 00:11:32,791
I'm the most considerate
person I know.
255
00:11:32,816 --> 00:11:34,869
I say "bless you"
to people who sneeze,
256
00:11:34,894 --> 00:11:36,760
cough, even yawn.
257
00:11:37,299 --> 00:11:39,519
Okay, then why do I always
have to ask you
258
00:11:39,544 --> 00:11:40,806
to put the toilet seat down?
259
00:11:40,831 --> 00:11:43,181
Or stop drinking juice
from the carton?
260
00:11:43,206 --> 00:11:44,517
Or the thing I hate the most:
261
00:11:44,542 --> 00:11:46,838
you never squeeze out
the kitchen sponge.
262
00:11:46,863 --> 00:11:50,755
I always squeeze out the sponge.
263
00:11:51,105 --> 00:11:52,759
Oh, really?
264
00:12:00,394 --> 00:12:04,354
Okay, I forgot one time.
265
00:12:05,548 --> 00:12:08,964
Not that time
means anything to you.
266
00:12:09,889 --> 00:12:12,370
Well, then I guess neither of us
is as considerate
267
00:12:12,395 --> 00:12:16,320
as we think we are. Which is
why I don't feel bad doing this.
268
00:12:19,956 --> 00:12:22,216
Sponges live in the ocean, Gemma!
269
00:12:22,423 --> 00:12:24,463
They're supposed to be wet!
270
00:12:28,484 --> 00:12:30,109
Oh, hey, Calvin.
271
00:12:30,134 --> 00:12:31,827
Don't "hey, Calvin" me.
272
00:12:32,083 --> 00:12:35,210
Because of you,
Tina doesn't want to have sex.
273
00:12:36,003 --> 00:12:38,965
What? Even with that tool belt?
274
00:12:40,888 --> 00:12:42,847
Your stupid therapist
275
00:12:42,872 --> 00:12:45,445
says that we're having
intimacy problems
276
00:12:45,470 --> 00:12:47,428
and now she's
cutting me off for a month.
277
00:12:47,474 --> 00:12:50,462
I remember when Dr. Chen
made us do that, too.
278
00:12:50,487 --> 00:12:52,965
It really put the "no"
in November.
279
00:12:53,851 --> 00:12:55,287
Wait a minute.
280
00:12:55,312 --> 00:12:56,796
So you knew about this
281
00:12:56,821 --> 00:12:58,397
and you recommended her anyway?
282
00:12:58,422 --> 00:12:59,765
Well, I had to.
283
00:12:59,790 --> 00:13:01,061
Gemma was sitting right there,
284
00:13:01,086 --> 00:13:02,653
and she loves
going to see Dr. Chen.
285
00:13:02,678 --> 00:13:04,027
Oh, and you don't?
286
00:13:04,052 --> 00:13:05,671
Are you kidding?
No sex for a month?
287
00:13:05,696 --> 00:13:07,187
That could kill a guy.
288
00:13:07,836 --> 00:13:09,742
I know. I'm already going crazy.
289
00:13:09,767 --> 00:13:11,432
I saw two melons on the counter
290
00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:13,460
and I almost had to
take a cold shower.
291
00:13:16,863 --> 00:13:19,983
Yeah, the worst part is,
is Gemma and I got into a fight
292
00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:21,720
and now she wants us
to go back today.
293
00:13:21,745 --> 00:13:24,226
Well, if you don't want to go,
then don't.
294
00:13:24,339 --> 00:13:27,211
You don't have to do something
just because she wants you to.
295
00:13:27,348 --> 00:13:29,211
You know what? You're right.
296
00:13:29,328 --> 00:13:32,592
And just like you
shouldn't let Tina bully you
297
00:13:32,617 --> 00:13:34,860
into talking about your feelings
if you don't want to.
298
00:13:34,923 --> 00:13:38,462
You're right. Nobody forces me
to be a good husband.
299
00:13:39,837 --> 00:13:41,056
Yeah.
300
00:13:41,162 --> 00:13:43,618
Exactly. You know, what our...
301
00:13:43,812 --> 00:13:46,665
what our wives
need to understand is,
302
00:13:46,690 --> 00:13:49,516
is that our needs are just
as important as theirs.
303
00:13:49,541 --> 00:13:50,774
Damn straight.
304
00:13:50,799 --> 00:13:52,964
Yeah. And until they do,
305
00:13:52,989 --> 00:13:55,126
no matter how mad they get,
306
00:13:55,151 --> 00:13:58,704
or how cold and lonely
the nights may be,
307
00:13:58,855 --> 00:14:01,673
you and I will always be there
to keep each other warm.
308
00:14:06,521 --> 00:14:09,971
I was wrong. You just forced me.
309
00:14:13,614 --> 00:14:14,736
Hi, Dr. Chen.
310
00:14:14,761 --> 00:14:16,588
Hey, guys. Come on in.
311
00:14:17,008 --> 00:14:18,587
Sorry we're late.
312
00:14:18,612 --> 00:14:20,557
For some reason, I can't
seem to be on time
313
00:14:20,582 --> 00:14:22,939
for anything these days.
314
00:14:23,237 --> 00:14:24,869
That's okay. It's no big deal.
315
00:14:24,894 --> 00:14:27,666
Are you sure? Because I'd
hate for those 32 seconds
316
00:14:27,691 --> 00:14:29,794
to ruin your whole day.
317
00:14:30,613 --> 00:14:34,796
Okay. This is the kind of stuff
that bought me my boat.
318
00:14:35,984 --> 00:14:38,455
Why don't you guys go ahead
and tell me what's going on.
319
00:14:38,716 --> 00:14:41,025
Gemma doesn't take my
feelings into consideration.
320
00:14:41,050 --> 00:14:44,236
Oh, please. He's the one who
doesn't consider my feelings.
321
00:14:44,345 --> 00:14:47,642
Seriously? Just because I
forgot to squeeze out a sponge
322
00:14:47,667 --> 00:14:48,929
one time?
323
00:14:48,954 --> 00:14:50,111
One time, huh?
324
00:14:50,136 --> 00:14:51,768
So when you cleaned up
after lunch today,
325
00:14:51,793 --> 00:14:52,924
you squeezed it out?
326
00:14:52,949 --> 00:14:55,494
Every last drop.
327
00:14:56,346 --> 00:15:00,881
Okay, then, uh, what's this?
328
00:15:02,949 --> 00:15:05,778
Great, now you bring
your big purse?
329
00:15:07,090 --> 00:15:09,049
Okay, obviously you two are having
330
00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:10,283
some communication issues.
331
00:15:10,416 --> 00:15:14,632
Gemma, you're unhappy about
that... disgusting sponge.
332
00:15:15,563 --> 00:15:17,957
Dave, what's something
you're unhappy about?
333
00:15:18,086 --> 00:15:20,369
Okay, I'll tell you something.
334
00:15:20,394 --> 00:15:22,091
I hate that you make me
come to therapy.
335
00:15:22,229 --> 00:15:24,182
What do you mean,
you hate coming to therapy?
336
00:15:24,207 --> 00:15:26,127
That's right. I've hated it
since the beginning.
337
00:15:26,152 --> 00:15:27,818
The only reason I agree
to come here
338
00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:29,134
is because it's important to you.
339
00:15:29,159 --> 00:15:31,127
Important to me?
The only reason I come here
340
00:15:31,152 --> 00:15:33,075
is because I thought it was
important to you.
341
00:15:33,244 --> 00:15:35,552
Wait. So, you don't
like it either?
342
00:15:35,577 --> 00:15:38,606
Are you kidding?
30 days without sex?
343
00:15:38,631 --> 00:15:40,067
That could kill a girl.
344
00:15:40,092 --> 00:15:41,876
Okay.
345
00:15:41,901 --> 00:15:43,302
Loving the communication,
346
00:15:43,327 --> 00:15:44,746
but let's not lose sight
of the fact
347
00:15:44,771 --> 00:15:46,951
that you were 32 seconds late.
348
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:51,198
I feel like such a
jerk for freaking out
349
00:15:51,223 --> 00:15:52,769
over those dumb previews.
350
00:15:52,794 --> 00:15:54,010
You feel like a jerk?
351
00:15:54,035 --> 00:15:57,745
I smuggled a dirty sponge
into our therapy session.
352
00:15:59,229 --> 00:16:01,797
I even added extra water to it.
353
00:16:02,875 --> 00:16:04,278
Gem, I'm so sorry.
354
00:16:04,303 --> 00:16:06,253
Me, too, sweetie.
355
00:16:07,281 --> 00:16:09,005
Look at that.
356
00:16:09,861 --> 00:16:12,516
Another happy couple who
can see that coming here
357
00:16:12,541 --> 00:16:14,369
is definitely worth the money.
358
00:16:15,345 --> 00:16:17,778
When can we schedule
your next session?
359
00:16:17,803 --> 00:16:19,878
Actually, I think we're good.
360
00:16:19,903 --> 00:16:22,197
In fact, I think we should go home
361
00:16:22,222 --> 00:16:24,632
and start making up
for that month we missed.
362
00:16:24,844 --> 00:16:26,461
Right behind you.
363
00:16:28,006 --> 00:16:30,157
And you call yourself a doctor?
364
00:16:30,251 --> 00:16:31,907
People could have died.
365
00:16:36,634 --> 00:16:38,201
Hey, babe.
366
00:16:38,687 --> 00:16:40,251
Hey.
367
00:16:40,676 --> 00:16:43,635
Look, uh, I was thinking,
368
00:16:43,660 --> 00:16:47,704
if you really want to
try that intimacy thing,
369
00:16:48,056 --> 00:16:50,145
I'm willing to give it a shot.
370
00:16:50,688 --> 00:16:52,266
Really?
371
00:16:52,291 --> 00:16:55,399
- Aw, thank you, baby.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, babe.
372
00:16:55,424 --> 00:16:56,962
If you don't want to
ride the rocket,
373
00:16:56,987 --> 00:16:58,102
don't light the fuse.
374
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:03,516
So, I was looking
through Dr. Chen's book
375
00:17:03,541 --> 00:17:05,352
and I think we should start off
376
00:17:05,377 --> 00:17:07,947
with an exercise called
"Soul Gazing."
377
00:17:07,972 --> 00:17:09,306
Okay, what's that?
378
00:17:09,331 --> 00:17:10,984
Well, it's simple. It's where we
379
00:17:10,995 --> 00:17:13,606
look deep into each other's eyes
without talking.
380
00:17:13,631 --> 00:17:15,259
It's supposed to open up
381
00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:18,170
new lines of
nonverbal communication.
382
00:17:18,275 --> 00:17:20,171
All right, okay, let's do it.
383
00:17:20,196 --> 00:17:23,071
All right, let's go. All right.
384
00:17:23,096 --> 00:17:24,671
Here we go.
385
00:17:28,990 --> 00:17:30,992
Okay. Okay.
386
00:17:31,017 --> 00:17:32,759
Okay. That-That's good, baby.
387
00:17:32,784 --> 00:17:34,917
Uh, but a little more loving gaze
388
00:17:34,942 --> 00:17:37,446
and less creepy staring contest.
389
00:17:37,471 --> 00:17:39,290
Okay. You know,
I'm not feeling this one.
390
00:17:39,315 --> 00:17:41,391
Uh, let-let's try a different one.
391
00:17:41,416 --> 00:17:44,553
All right. Well, let's try...
392
00:17:44,578 --> 00:17:47,277
Oh. "Uninterrupted Listening."
393
00:17:47,302 --> 00:17:49,626
It's where we each take turns
394
00:17:49,651 --> 00:17:51,566
talking about our feelings
for five minutes
395
00:17:51,591 --> 00:17:54,774
while the other listens
supportively.
396
00:17:54,799 --> 00:17:56,845
Okay. That sounds easy.
397
00:17:56,870 --> 00:17:58,921
All right. You go first.
398
00:17:59,339 --> 00:18:02,602
Oh. Oh, well, oh, all righty.
399
00:18:02,627 --> 00:18:05,326
Um... well...
400
00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:06,615
I love you.
401
00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:09,168
Okay. And I love
402
00:18:09,442 --> 00:18:11,171
loving you.
403
00:18:11,865 --> 00:18:13,669
And...
404
00:18:13,694 --> 00:18:15,919
I feel...
405
00:18:16,414 --> 00:18:18,674
like that's been about
five minutes.
406
00:18:19,733 --> 00:18:21,082
Really, Calvin?
407
00:18:21,107 --> 00:18:22,421
Seriously?
408
00:18:22,446 --> 00:18:23,837
We've been together all this time
409
00:18:23,862 --> 00:18:26,172
and that's all you got?
410
00:18:26,635 --> 00:18:28,422
Do you know how hurtful that is?
411
00:18:28,966 --> 00:18:31,055
You want to talk about hurtful?
412
00:18:31,529 --> 00:18:34,048
How about finding out
after 31 years
413
00:18:34,073 --> 00:18:35,884
your wife doesn't think
your marriage
414
00:18:35,909 --> 00:18:37,610
is as perfect as you do.
415
00:18:37,635 --> 00:18:39,985
What are you talking about?
I love our marriage.
416
00:18:40,010 --> 00:18:42,463
Then why'd you make us
go to that couples therapy?
417
00:18:42,618 --> 00:18:45,595
I mean, we have the best
marriage of anyone I know,
418
00:18:45,678 --> 00:18:47,845
but after one minute
with that doctor,
419
00:18:47,870 --> 00:18:50,177
she made you believe
that we don't.
420
00:18:50,619 --> 00:18:53,486
I just thought that it might
bring us closer together.
421
00:18:53,849 --> 00:18:55,938
Well, I don't think
we can be any closer.
422
00:18:55,965 --> 00:18:59,235
Okay, I may not be able to
"gaze into your soul,"
423
00:18:59,463 --> 00:19:03,380
but when you walk into a room,
I can't take my eyes off you.
424
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:07,634
And okay, I-I may not be able
to express my feelings
425
00:19:07,659 --> 00:19:09,571
for five minutes,
426
00:19:09,596 --> 00:19:11,774
but that doesn't mean
I'm not thinking about you
427
00:19:11,799 --> 00:19:13,712
every moment of the day.
428
00:19:13,936 --> 00:19:15,547
Really?
429
00:19:15,572 --> 00:19:17,001
Damn right.
430
00:19:17,201 --> 00:19:18,855
And I don't need some therapist
431
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:20,431
or a dumb exercise
432
00:19:20,456 --> 00:19:22,501
to tell me how connected
I am to you,
433
00:19:22,860 --> 00:19:24,590
because my heart tells me.
434
00:19:25,844 --> 00:19:27,455
All the time.
435
00:19:28,573 --> 00:19:30,140
See, baby, that's...
436
00:19:30,229 --> 00:19:32,266
that's all I've been looking for.
437
00:19:32,291 --> 00:19:35,180
Well, I meant every word.
438
00:19:35,205 --> 00:19:38,085
Mmm. Mm, mm, mm!
439
00:19:39,893 --> 00:19:42,845
You know, maybe this stuff
isn't so bad.
440
00:19:42,870 --> 00:19:45,650
Now that we know
I'm so amazing at it.
441
00:19:45,675 --> 00:19:48,493
All right.
442
00:19:48,518 --> 00:19:50,782
Now that I had my time,
you want your five minutes?
443
00:19:50,807 --> 00:19:53,516
Okay, okay, I just got one more
exercise I want us to do.
444
00:19:53,541 --> 00:19:54,644
What?
445
00:19:54,669 --> 00:19:56,423
Meet me in the bedroom.
446
00:19:56,448 --> 00:19:58,220
Yeah, bring that cocoa butter.
447
00:19:58,414 --> 00:20:01,214
I want to take a trip to SeaWorld.
448
00:20:02,415 --> 00:20:04,626
Well, you better put on
your poncho,
449
00:20:04,651 --> 00:20:07,423
'cause you about to be
in the splash zone!
450
00:20:14,245 --> 00:20:16,038
Hey. Let's go, Malcolm.
451
00:20:16,063 --> 00:20:18,162
I've been honking for
five minutes and I am not gonna
452
00:20:18,187 --> 00:20:19,826
be late for Muffin Monday.
453
00:20:21,170 --> 00:20:22,824
Look, I don't care about that.
454
00:20:22,849 --> 00:20:25,171
We need to talk about this
damn therapy book.
455
00:20:25,196 --> 00:20:26,458
Wait, you read it?
456
00:20:26,483 --> 00:20:28,087
Yes, the whole thing.
457
00:20:28,112 --> 00:20:29,899
And there is not a single word
in here
458
00:20:29,924 --> 00:20:31,634
about sibling dynamics.
459
00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:33,421
Yeah, that's 'cause I made it up.
460
00:20:35,784 --> 00:20:37,260
You say what now?
461
00:20:37,285 --> 00:20:39,196
Well, I just said that
to see if you'd read it,
462
00:20:39,221 --> 00:20:41,057
and since you did, I know,
463
00:20:41,082 --> 00:20:42,618
no matter how much
you make fun of me,
464
00:20:42,643 --> 00:20:44,080
you care about my feelings.
465
00:20:46,009 --> 00:20:48,541
Wait, so you tricked me
into wasting five hours
466
00:20:48,566 --> 00:20:50,260
reading this boring-ass book
467
00:20:50,285 --> 00:20:51,866
just to make yourself feel good?
468
00:20:51,891 --> 00:20:53,877
Yeah. Fun stuff, huh?
469
00:20:56,509 --> 00:20:59,033
Oh, you know, sometimes
I really hate you.
470
00:21:00,307 --> 00:21:04,150
Yeah, but five hours of reading
says you love me more.
471
00:21:05,881 --> 00:21:10,619
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
472
00:21:13,619 --> 00:21:17,619
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