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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:16,075 ♪ Oh Canada ♪ 2 00:00:16,175 --> 00:00:20,483 ♪ Our home and native land ♪ 3 00:00:20,583 --> 00:00:24,191 ♪ True patriot love ♪ 4 00:00:24,291 --> 00:00:27,897 ♪ In all thy son's command ♪ 5 00:00:27,999 --> 00:00:33,109 ♪ Car ton bras Sait porter l'épée ♪ 6 00:00:33,209 --> 00:00:37,250 ♪ Il sait porter la croix ♪ 7 00:00:37,350 --> 00:00:41,892 ♪ Ton histoire est une épopée ♪ 8 00:00:41,993 --> 00:00:46,568 ♪ Des plus brillants exploits ♪ 9 00:00:46,669 --> 00:00:50,978 ♪ God keep our land ♪ 10 00:00:51,078 --> 00:00:55,153 ♪ Glorious and free ♪ 11 00:00:55,253 --> 00:00:58,259 ♪ Oh Canada ♪ 12 00:00:58,359 --> 00:01:04,071 ♪ We stand on guard for thee ♪ 13 00:01:04,171 --> 00:01:06,542 ♪ Oh Canada ♪ 14 00:01:06,642 --> 00:01:12,220 ♪ We stand on guard for thee ♪ 15 00:01:13,923 --> 00:01:16,729 SHORESY: You take my lane one time tonight, Apeldoorn, 16 00:01:16,829 --> 00:01:19,234 and I'll take your entire fuckin' top row! 17 00:01:19,334 --> 00:01:21,839 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 18 00:01:28,586 --> 00:01:30,223 What do you mean, you don't know how? 19 00:01:30,323 --> 00:01:31,525 - I just-- - Huh? 20 00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:33,529 - I just don't. - It's not as if it's fucking 21 00:01:33,629 --> 00:01:35,400 - quantum teleportation. - I know. 22 00:01:35,500 --> 00:01:36,611 It's coaching senior hockey, 23 00:01:36,635 --> 00:01:38,205 it's not fucking crypto currency. 24 00:01:38,305 --> 00:01:40,944 - I can do it, my dude. I'm just saying I've never done it before. 25 00:01:41,045 --> 00:01:43,783 Well, anyone can do it, it's not fuckin' round-a-bouts. 26 00:01:43,883 --> 00:01:47,223 Well, look, the Sudbury Raspberry Rottweilers. 27 00:01:47,323 --> 00:01:49,561 - Pamski! - Ugh, put your jibs in 28 00:01:49,661 --> 00:01:51,165 and have some fucking self-respect. 29 00:01:51,265 --> 00:01:52,944 And if you leave that spitter on the table again 30 00:01:52,968 --> 00:01:54,928 I'll give you another fucking gap, I swear to God. 31 00:01:54,972 --> 00:01:58,379 - Wham, bam, thank you Pam. - Fucking gross, dude. 32 00:01:59,247 --> 00:02:01,752 - Can you help me coach? - Shut the fuck up, Sanguinet. 33 00:02:01,852 --> 00:02:04,291 You can't tell your coach to shut the fuck up. 34 00:02:05,493 --> 00:02:07,464 - Do I look like Ken Hitchcock? - No. 35 00:02:07,564 --> 00:02:10,002 Just... help me out for the first game. 36 00:02:10,103 --> 00:02:11,805 What do I look like, Reggie Dunlop? 37 00:02:11,905 --> 00:02:13,242 - A bit. - Just don't do 38 00:02:13,342 --> 00:02:15,279 - what Michaels did. - Michaels didn't do much. 39 00:02:15,379 --> 00:02:17,784 - Exactly. He's useless. - I don't wanna yell at anybody. 40 00:02:17,884 --> 00:02:20,123 Well, how are you gonna get 'em to do what you want? 41 00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:21,692 - Well, I just-- - Huh?! 42 00:02:21,792 --> 00:02:24,297 - I don't want to be a bully. - It's not fucking bullying. 43 00:02:24,397 --> 00:02:26,301 Everybody's so soft. It's tough love. 44 00:02:26,401 --> 00:02:28,441 - What's the difference? - Alright, we're teammates. 45 00:02:28,506 --> 00:02:29,641 - We're brothers. - Yeah. 46 00:02:29,741 --> 00:02:31,087 - I'd go to the wall for you. - Yeah. 47 00:02:31,111 --> 00:02:32,914 - Are you my brother? - You're my brother. 48 00:02:33,015 --> 00:02:34,651 Would you go to the wall for me? 49 00:02:34,751 --> 00:02:36,831 - I'll go to the wall. - Then you're allowed to call me 50 00:02:36,855 --> 00:02:38,455 a fucking useless cunt on your way there. 51 00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:40,096 - Yeah?! - Hell yeah. Fuck yeah. 52 00:02:40,196 --> 00:02:42,534 Help me out, my man, just for the first game. 53 00:02:42,634 --> 00:02:44,838 - Fuck around. Alright, you get one. 54 00:02:44,938 --> 00:02:47,510 I'll show you how it's done but then you're on your own. 55 00:02:47,610 --> 00:02:48,813 Thank you, Shoresy. 56 00:02:48,913 --> 00:02:50,716 And you're calling the line-up. 57 00:02:53,088 --> 00:02:57,764 - Whoa! Sanguinet! [TEAM APPLAUDS] 58 00:02:59,267 --> 00:03:01,638 All hands for leisure suit Sanger-la. 59 00:03:01,738 --> 00:03:03,476 Timmins Timber Kings, boys. 60 00:03:03,576 --> 00:03:04,936 Game fuckin' one. Goody, you ready? 61 00:03:05,012 --> 00:03:07,550 - Ready, Gatsby. - Good! 'Cause you're going. 62 00:03:07,650 --> 00:03:09,588 [TEAM CHEERS] Dolo, you ready? 63 00:03:10,389 --> 00:03:12,293 - Good, 'cause you're going! [TEAM CHEERS] 64 00:03:12,393 --> 00:03:15,099 - Hitch, you ready? - Let's get on the go, b'ys! 65 00:03:15,199 --> 00:03:17,403 - Good, you're going! [TEAM CHEERS] 66 00:03:17,504 --> 00:03:19,274 JJ, Frankie JJ, you ready? 67 00:03:19,374 --> 00:03:20,843 What? 68 00:03:21,845 --> 00:03:23,883 - Good, 'cause you're going. [TEAM CHEERS] 69 00:03:23,984 --> 00:03:25,520 Greet the fucking day, bud. 70 00:03:25,620 --> 00:03:27,166 Somebody get this guy a fucking Jolt-Cola. 71 00:03:27,190 --> 00:03:28,492 Shoresy, you ready? 72 00:03:28,592 --> 00:03:29,992 Give your balls a tug, tit-fucker? 73 00:03:30,062 --> 00:03:32,066 - You're going. [TEAM CHEERS] 74 00:03:32,167 --> 00:03:34,271 I'll hand over the floor to Shoresy. 75 00:03:35,773 --> 00:03:38,479 Well, that was fucking graceful, Sanguinet. 76 00:03:39,681 --> 00:03:43,656 Yeah, so, we've got some good fuckin' players now, so we'll run 'em up. 77 00:03:43,756 --> 00:03:45,560 And we got three Ojibwe Jims, 78 00:03:45,660 --> 00:03:47,096 so we'll fill 'em in, eh, Sanguinet? 79 00:03:47,197 --> 00:03:49,701 - Run 'em up and fill 'em in. That's new Bulldogs hockey. 80 00:03:49,801 --> 00:03:52,040 Now, get out of the fucking way. 81 00:03:52,140 --> 00:03:56,048 The rest of ya. You, you, you, you the most, 82 00:03:56,148 --> 00:04:00,323 you, you the second most, and you. You're useless. 83 00:04:00,423 --> 00:04:03,964 Actually, it's you the most, and you the second most. 84 00:04:04,064 --> 00:04:07,103 You're young, dumb, and mostly all ugly. 85 00:04:07,203 --> 00:04:09,107 Like Fish, I would think you're ugly, 86 00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:12,347 but I saw you on a date with Samantha McMeegan at Respect is Burning, 87 00:04:12,447 --> 00:04:14,050 so you mustn't be. 88 00:04:14,384 --> 00:04:15,853 - Tendy! - Shoresy! 89 00:04:15,954 --> 00:04:18,225 You're the worst player on our team. Great in the room, 90 00:04:18,325 --> 00:04:21,932 but you're the worst player on our team. And your mom's a fucking dog. 91 00:04:22,033 --> 00:04:26,742 Yeah, laugh it up, Sumerfeld. Everyone knows what we call your mom. Sanguinet? 92 00:04:26,842 --> 00:04:28,812 - SANGUINET: I'm not saying it. - Sumofeld. 93 00:04:29,548 --> 00:04:34,558 So, because we're so good, OK? 94 00:04:34,658 --> 00:04:37,630 And he's so bad, mm-hmm, 95 00:04:37,730 --> 00:04:41,705 you serve us. 96 00:04:41,805 --> 00:04:43,108 - Got it? - How? 97 00:04:43,208 --> 00:04:46,615 Fish, Samantha McMeegan's ass is an all-time ass 98 00:04:46,715 --> 00:04:49,054 in a sea of unreal Sudbury asses, so like, 99 00:04:49,154 --> 00:04:51,792 stick tap on taking her on a date and everything. 100 00:04:51,892 --> 00:04:53,495 But if you interrupt me one more time, 101 00:04:53,596 --> 00:04:56,735 you may as well just call Tendy's dog mom to come pick ya up. 102 00:04:58,005 --> 00:05:02,046 Yeah, so, Timmins got eight Apeldoorns, eh Sanguinet? 103 00:05:02,146 --> 00:05:04,117 If we beat the Apeldoorns, we beat Timmins. 104 00:05:04,217 --> 00:05:05,954 And we're beating fucking Timmers. 105 00:05:06,054 --> 00:05:07,890 So, if you see an Apeldoorn, 106 00:05:07,992 --> 00:05:09,237 you put a fuckin' shoulder in 'em. 107 00:05:09,261 --> 00:05:10,930 Let 'em know you're out there, by's. 108 00:05:11,031 --> 00:05:13,602 - You gotta let 'em know. - But stay out of the box. 109 00:05:13,702 --> 00:05:15,906 Fucking loser. Fish. 110 00:05:16,008 --> 00:05:17,610 The Apeldoorns are super tough. 111 00:05:17,710 --> 00:05:19,514 - Introduce yourselves. - Jim. 112 00:05:19,614 --> 00:05:21,618 - Jim. - My name's also Jim. 113 00:05:21,718 --> 00:05:22,998 - Problem solved. - Thanks, Jims. 114 00:05:23,022 --> 00:05:25,593 Now, as far as serving the tendy goes, 115 00:05:25,693 --> 00:05:28,232 if they're shooting, you're getting your body in front of it. 116 00:05:28,332 --> 00:05:30,836 Everybody blocking shots. All you useless guys, 117 00:05:30,936 --> 00:05:33,375 blocking shots, bugging Apeldoorns, 118 00:05:33,475 --> 00:05:35,313 now everybody knows their role, eh Sanguinet? 119 00:05:35,413 --> 00:05:38,218 - Everyone knows their role. Everyone does their job. 120 00:05:38,319 --> 00:05:42,226 Yeah, so... who wants to set the tone, boys? 121 00:05:42,327 --> 00:05:44,230 Who's gonna fuckin' set it? [DOLO HOLLERS] 122 00:05:44,331 --> 00:05:46,435 You could hear a bat queef in here, gents. 123 00:05:46,535 --> 00:05:49,841 - So much for bums in seats. - Gotta start somewhere. 124 00:05:49,941 --> 00:05:51,211 We started 20 games ago. 125 00:05:51,311 --> 00:05:53,415 Sanger in that suit, what's up? 126 00:05:53,515 --> 00:05:56,421 - Sure glad we keep the season ticket holder section roped off. 127 00:05:56,521 --> 00:05:59,260 You got some calls to return there, Nat. 128 00:05:59,361 --> 00:06:00,763 What do they want now? 129 00:06:00,863 --> 00:06:02,467 Still their money back. 130 00:06:05,439 --> 00:06:07,276 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 131 00:06:50,229 --> 00:06:51,365 [WHISTLE] 132 00:07:25,833 --> 00:07:28,505 [WHISTLE] [CHEERING] 133 00:07:31,111 --> 00:07:34,184 [WHISTLE] [CHEERING] 134 00:07:37,657 --> 00:07:39,127 [WHISTLE] 135 00:07:44,137 --> 00:07:45,940 [WHISTLE] [CHEERING] 136 00:07:48,579 --> 00:07:50,149 [WHISTLE] [CHEERING] 137 00:07:50,249 --> 00:07:52,220 [BUZZER] 138 00:07:53,255 --> 00:07:55,035 I'm definitely posting this when I get home. 139 00:07:55,059 --> 00:07:56,895 Bet she does a hundo views overnight. 140 00:07:56,996 --> 00:07:59,067 Shut up, you fucking nerd. 141 00:08:02,106 --> 00:08:03,184 Real nice tilly, Dolo, way to set the tone. 142 00:08:03,208 --> 00:08:05,379 Holy fuck, then what happened, eh Tendy? 143 00:08:05,479 --> 00:08:07,817 See? You can do it! At the rate you're going, 144 00:08:07,917 --> 00:08:09,989 we're gonna have to score fucking 10 to win. 145 00:08:12,093 --> 00:08:13,562 What, Frankie? 146 00:08:13,662 --> 00:08:15,366 Holy fuck, get that guy 147 00:08:15,466 --> 00:08:17,336 some fucking smoked meat amphetamines. 148 00:08:17,436 --> 00:08:19,274 You ever had Portuguese chicken? 149 00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:22,113 Run 'em up, fill 'em in, boys, here come the Jims! 150 00:08:22,213 --> 00:08:23,816 Don't slow down on the body, by's. 151 00:08:23,916 --> 00:08:25,128 Go straight to where they're to. 152 00:08:25,152 --> 00:08:26,655 Frankie, shoot the puck! 153 00:08:26,755 --> 00:08:28,459 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 154 00:08:36,608 --> 00:08:38,178 [WHISTLE] [CHEERING] 155 00:08:42,019 --> 00:08:43,255 [WHISTLE] 156 00:08:46,194 --> 00:08:47,597 [WHISTLE] [CHEERING] 157 00:08:53,609 --> 00:08:54,777 [WHISTLE] 158 00:08:54,878 --> 00:08:56,681 [CHEERING] 159 00:09:14,083 --> 00:09:16,388 - Nice work, Jims. - Hey, Shoresy! 160 00:09:16,488 --> 00:09:18,192 After the draw here, give me one. 161 00:09:18,292 --> 00:09:20,329 Suck my dick, you fucking horse whisperer. 162 00:09:20,429 --> 00:09:22,366 - Gimme one! - You're the dumbest, ugliest, 163 00:09:22,466 --> 00:09:25,806 most insignificant Apeldoorn. You're fucking applesauce. 164 00:09:25,906 --> 00:09:27,310 Not even your brothers like you. 165 00:09:27,410 --> 00:09:29,180 You fucking come anywhere near me, Apeldoorn, 166 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:30,616 I'll stick you right in the face-- 167 00:09:30,716 --> 00:09:32,362 - Let's fucking go then! - Right in the teeth, 168 00:09:32,386 --> 00:09:33,966 - you Dutch inbred fuck. - Come on, you pussy! 169 00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,550 I'll break your teeth off at the gums, 170 00:09:35,593 --> 00:09:36,761 you fucking garlic eater. 171 00:09:36,862 --> 00:09:39,033 [BUZZER] 172 00:09:39,133 --> 00:09:41,905 Shoulda had a couple of those, Tendy. Holy. 173 00:09:42,006 --> 00:09:44,377 - Sanger's suits unreal, eh? - Knows, Goody. 174 00:09:45,145 --> 00:09:46,281 Suit's unbelievable. 175 00:09:46,381 --> 00:09:48,352 - B'y, she's fine menswear. - Phenomenal. 176 00:09:48,452 --> 00:09:50,422 Thought you'd have a half dozen by now, Frankie. 177 00:09:50,522 --> 00:09:52,760 What's it gonna take, a McCain Deep and Delicious? 178 00:09:54,864 --> 00:09:57,370 - Huh? - I'll buy you fifty Deep and Deliciouses. 179 00:09:57,470 --> 00:09:59,607 I'll buy you DQ for a fucking month. 180 00:09:59,707 --> 00:10:01,979 How about a Dilly Bar in your belly, buddy? 181 00:10:02,079 --> 00:10:04,350 - We're gonna lose. - We can't lose. 182 00:10:04,450 --> 00:10:07,423 - If we lose... - We're not fucking losing! 183 00:10:07,523 --> 00:10:09,327 [PHONE VIBRATING] 184 00:10:14,137 --> 00:10:18,478 Yo, Sanguinet in that suit, what is up? 185 00:10:18,579 --> 00:10:20,082 You, apparently. 186 00:10:20,182 --> 00:10:22,253 Miig, if you fuck that slut, you better-- 187 00:10:22,353 --> 00:10:23,990 Keep your head up, Apeldoorn! 188 00:10:24,090 --> 00:10:26,261 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 189 00:10:29,033 --> 00:10:32,673 - Hey, hope the stretcher's built for Dutchmen, you big galoot! 190 00:10:32,773 --> 00:10:35,079 - Fuck off, Shoresy! - What are you gonna fucking do? 191 00:10:35,179 --> 00:10:37,183 What are you gonna do, Apeldoorn? 192 00:10:45,432 --> 00:10:46,668 [LAUGHING] 193 00:10:46,768 --> 00:10:49,540 - Someone call his Oma and Opa-- - Shut the fuck up! 194 00:10:49,641 --> 00:10:51,641 - You're not gonna do anything. You're not gonna do 195 00:10:51,678 --> 00:10:55,519 fucking anything, Apeldoorn. Frankie, shoot the fucking puck! 196 00:10:55,619 --> 00:10:56,755 [WHISTLE] 197 00:11:09,781 --> 00:11:12,520 [WHISTLE] [CHEERING] 198 00:11:19,300 --> 00:11:21,271 [WHISTLE] [CHEERING] 199 00:11:30,957 --> 00:11:32,093 Sanger, call it. 200 00:11:32,193 --> 00:11:33,462 Nichol, time out! 201 00:11:33,562 --> 00:11:35,265 - [WHISTLE] - Goody, JJ, Dolo, and Hitch. 202 00:11:35,366 --> 00:11:37,069 Shoresy, Goody, JJ, Dolo, Hitch. 203 00:11:37,169 --> 00:11:39,007 Fish, get the fuck out of the way. 204 00:11:39,807 --> 00:11:43,215 Alright, boys, we're not losing to a team who got their buckets 205 00:11:43,315 --> 00:11:46,287 at fucking Giant Tiger. Now, their D have been pinching all night. 206 00:11:46,388 --> 00:11:48,028 What we're gonna do is we're gonna hit 'em 207 00:11:48,091 --> 00:11:49,627 with the beer league special, OK? 208 00:11:49,727 --> 00:11:51,598 So JJ, once that puck fucking drops, 209 00:11:51,698 --> 00:11:53,878 I want you to B-line it straight up to centre pass through D. 210 00:11:53,902 --> 00:11:56,207 Dolo, I'm gonna wing it back to you, you flick it over 211 00:11:56,307 --> 00:11:58,512 everybody's heads, JJ skates into it. 212 00:11:59,547 --> 00:12:01,317 - Good idea. - Well, it's the best fucking 213 00:12:01,418 --> 00:12:03,288 - idea I ever heard in my life. - Settle down. 214 00:12:03,388 --> 00:12:06,194 - JJ, wake up! When that puck fucking drops, 215 00:12:06,294 --> 00:12:09,033 you go straight north, OK? Nord, fast. 216 00:12:09,133 --> 00:12:10,502 Fucking wreck 'em all. 217 00:12:10,602 --> 00:12:11,647 Let's fucking get one, boys. 218 00:12:11,671 --> 00:12:12,974 Here we go, boys, here we go! 219 00:12:13,075 --> 00:12:14,610 [WHISTLE] 220 00:12:20,255 --> 00:12:22,626 I fucking warned you good and early, Apeldoorn, 221 00:12:22,727 --> 00:12:24,497 if you don't behave yourself, I'm coming. 222 00:12:24,597 --> 00:12:26,201 You're a fucking pussy, Shoresy. 223 00:12:26,301 --> 00:12:27,403 As soon as this puck drops, 224 00:12:27,503 --> 00:12:29,240 I'm coming for your entire fucking top row. 225 00:12:29,340 --> 00:12:30,609 - Fuck off! - I'm not kiddin'. 226 00:12:30,709 --> 00:12:32,589 I don't want this drawn on, I'm gonna cross check you 227 00:12:32,613 --> 00:12:34,159 right in the jibs, you fucking poor producer. 228 00:12:34,183 --> 00:12:36,020 - Have at it, bud. - Yeah. 229 00:12:36,121 --> 00:12:38,792 You're gonna have Bauer stamped on your fucking bicuspids. 230 00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:40,829 Hope you're ready. [WHISTLE] 231 00:12:45,172 --> 00:12:47,343 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 232 00:13:22,546 --> 00:13:24,550 [BUZZER] 233 00:13:26,287 --> 00:13:29,827 M... V... P time, Sanger, 234 00:13:29,927 --> 00:13:32,133 who gets the game stick, buddy, who gets to get it? 235 00:13:32,233 --> 00:13:33,745 Well, tonight's game stick goes to Hud-- 236 00:13:33,769 --> 00:13:35,472 - Huh? - Tonight's game stick goes 237 00:13:35,572 --> 00:13:39,046 to Hudson, Quebec's very own, my dude, JJ Frankie JJ, yes! 238 00:13:39,147 --> 00:13:41,017 [CHEERING] 239 00:13:41,117 --> 00:13:43,956 Congratulations, buddy, have some fucking diabetes. 240 00:13:44,056 --> 00:13:45,259 - Hey, Jim. - Yeah. 241 00:13:45,359 --> 00:13:46,761 - Great tilly, Jim. - Thanks, bro. 242 00:13:46,861 --> 00:13:47,998 - Jim. - Thanks, buddy. 243 00:13:48,098 --> 00:13:49,176 - Jim. - Really appreciate that, 244 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,200 Shoresy. Means a lot. 245 00:13:50,235 --> 00:13:51,515 Jims are such fucking beauties. 246 00:13:51,604 --> 00:13:53,384 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] Aren't they fucking beauties? 247 00:13:53,408 --> 00:13:54,644 They're the best. 248 00:13:56,748 --> 00:13:58,685 Oh, it's a Costco pack. So... 249 00:14:01,925 --> 00:14:03,628 Yeah, like, there's beaucoup de sticks. 250 00:14:03,728 --> 00:14:06,935 - Sticks are unbelievable. - I'm gut-founded, b'ys. 251 00:14:07,036 --> 00:14:08,772 What are ya thinking, Dolo? 252 00:14:11,444 --> 00:14:14,050 Well, there's actually the perfect amount of sticks. 253 00:14:14,150 --> 00:14:15,552 - Oh, for me too? - Shut the-- 254 00:14:15,652 --> 00:14:16,652 You bet. 255 00:14:16,721 --> 00:14:19,227 - Well, let's fire up a stick. - Wait, no, hol-- 256 00:14:19,327 --> 00:14:22,333 Like, but doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of the game stick? 257 00:14:22,433 --> 00:14:23,869 - Settle down. - It don't have to. 258 00:14:23,970 --> 00:14:25,772 - Then how would it not? - Because, the winner 259 00:14:25,873 --> 00:14:27,393 of the game stick gets his stick first. 260 00:14:27,476 --> 00:14:28,956 But then everyone gets a game stick. 261 00:14:29,046 --> 00:14:31,117 - Phenomenal. - Yeah but, like, 262 00:14:31,217 --> 00:14:32,657 we'd still make a little thing of it. 263 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:34,524 No, right? Like, you know, first off, 264 00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:37,596 so and so gets the game stick, and then-- 265 00:14:37,696 --> 00:14:39,416 - What do you mean? - Well, like, first off, 266 00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:42,740 - blank gets the game stick. - Well, if he wants I suppose. 267 00:14:45,412 --> 00:14:47,583 OK, so, OK, so... 268 00:14:47,683 --> 00:14:50,622 the game stick's awarded, OK. 269 00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:53,628 That guy gets his stick first. 270 00:14:53,728 --> 00:14:55,132 Mm-hmm. 271 00:14:55,232 --> 00:14:57,870 And then everyone else gets their stick? 272 00:14:57,971 --> 00:14:59,307 Unbelievable. 273 00:14:59,407 --> 00:15:00,943 - I don't know. - Maybe ask the Jims. 274 00:15:01,044 --> 00:15:02,847 - That's a good idea. What do you think, Jim? 275 00:15:02,948 --> 00:15:04,083 - Yeah. - Jim? 276 00:15:04,183 --> 00:15:05,185 - Yes. - Jim? 277 00:15:05,285 --> 00:15:06,621 I'm actually lactose intolerant, 278 00:15:06,721 --> 00:15:08,592 - but I'll power through it. - Thanks, Jims. 279 00:15:08,692 --> 00:15:10,863 So, we're all just eating sticks after Ws? 280 00:15:10,964 --> 00:15:13,869 - 'Till we're stogged, me son. - Sounds like a great idea. 281 00:15:13,970 --> 00:15:16,407 That's the best fucking idea I've ever heard in my life. 282 00:15:17,443 --> 00:15:18,311 Here we go. 283 00:15:18,411 --> 00:15:20,616 [POP MUSIC] 284 00:15:30,469 --> 00:15:33,375 It's back-to-backers for the big Quebecker. 285 00:15:34,243 --> 00:15:35,421 Hey, did yous call your parents? 286 00:15:35,445 --> 00:15:36,748 - Fuck. - Fuck. 287 00:15:36,848 --> 00:15:38,318 [LAUGHTER] 288 00:15:39,153 --> 00:15:41,724 Come on. What, do you want them to fucking hate ya? 289 00:15:41,824 --> 00:15:43,528 Holy! 290 00:15:44,931 --> 00:15:46,568 Hey Goody, if you're from down south, 291 00:15:46,668 --> 00:15:48,973 is your old man a Leafs fan, or...? 292 00:15:49,915 --> 00:15:51,213 - W! - W. 293 00:15:51,297 --> 00:15:52,756 Hopefully, the Soo were paying attention. 294 00:15:52,780 --> 00:15:54,159 Maybe they'll only pump us 18 next time. 295 00:15:54,183 --> 00:15:56,063 - The Soo are so fucking good. - Tendy should've had 296 00:15:56,087 --> 00:15:57,247 - a couple of those. - I know! 297 00:15:57,323 --> 00:15:59,060 - I know! TENDY: I know. 298 00:15:59,493 --> 00:16:00,929 I'm not playing another game 299 00:16:01,030 --> 00:16:02,900 with Shoresy bitching to the boys about it. 300 00:16:03,001 --> 00:16:05,172 Us too, Nat. It's nice to win and everything, 301 00:16:05,272 --> 00:16:06,450 but not with Shoresy at the helm. 302 00:16:06,474 --> 00:16:08,245 Shoresy's not at the helm. 303 00:16:08,345 --> 00:16:09,380 I'm running the ship. 304 00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:10,984 - [SCOFFS] - On paper. 305 00:16:11,084 --> 00:16:12,119 What the fuck, Sanguinet? 306 00:16:12,219 --> 00:16:15,225 I asked Shoresy to help me ease in. That's on me. 307 00:16:15,325 --> 00:16:16,561 But this is my show now. 308 00:16:16,661 --> 00:16:18,665 I don't know, Sanger. 309 00:16:18,765 --> 00:16:20,602 It's either me or Shoresy. 310 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:24,510 Fuck it. I quit. 311 00:16:24,610 --> 00:16:27,049 Then go, you fucking piece of shit. 312 00:16:27,149 --> 00:16:28,485 Go cry in your car! 313 00:16:28,585 --> 00:16:30,689 I'll find you a fucking ball hockey team 314 00:16:30,789 --> 00:16:33,361 for you to let 20 goals in a game, you fucking piece of shit! 315 00:16:33,461 --> 00:16:35,299 - You fucking suck! - This is my show now. 316 00:16:35,399 --> 00:16:36,677 I'll keep Shoresy between the lines. 317 00:16:36,701 --> 00:16:38,438 - Oh yeah? - Yeah, it'll be different. 318 00:16:38,538 --> 00:16:40,298 - Are you sure? - How many times you want him 319 00:16:40,375 --> 00:16:41,844 to fucking say it, Fish? 320 00:16:46,788 --> 00:16:49,560 Are you coming or going, boys? 321 00:16:50,295 --> 00:16:51,966 Let's get another W. 322 00:17:01,651 --> 00:17:03,121 What are you doin' now? 323 00:17:03,221 --> 00:17:04,423 Coulson, you? 324 00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:07,229 - Going to the fucking Coulson. Let's go, boys. 325 00:17:08,898 --> 00:17:10,569 Fuck me! 326 00:17:13,408 --> 00:17:14,677 What's up? 327 00:17:15,712 --> 00:17:17,683 Call the Coulson, open up a tab for Sanger. 328 00:17:17,783 --> 00:17:19,887 Open one up at Peppe too, the boys'll be hungry. 329 00:17:19,988 --> 00:17:22,259 - Where are you going? - To get us a tender. 330 00:17:22,359 --> 00:17:24,764 [RAP MUSIC] 331 00:17:29,774 --> 00:17:32,413 Aw, the Sudbury Papaya Poodles. As I live and breathe. 332 00:17:32,513 --> 00:17:35,652 - Yeah, somebody probably already told you, but we just dusted Timmins. 333 00:17:35,752 --> 00:17:37,656 - Nope. - Yeah, the Sudbury Bulldogs 334 00:17:37,756 --> 00:17:39,660 - just dusted Timmers. - I don't care. 335 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:41,664 - Got a dip? - You guys like paninis? 336 00:17:41,764 --> 00:17:44,124 - Oh yeah, the boys love panini. - Paninis are unbelievable. 337 00:17:44,170 --> 00:17:47,276 - Alright, menu's on the wall. - That's a lot of paninis. 338 00:17:47,376 --> 00:17:48,845 They got a ton of paninis here. 339 00:17:49,948 --> 00:17:50,816 Good cuisine. 340 00:17:50,916 --> 00:17:52,286 Do you have any chicken fingers? 341 00:17:52,386 --> 00:17:54,590 - Like, for your little brother? - No. 342 00:17:54,690 --> 00:17:56,690 - We don't have chicken fingers. - Chicken tenders? 343 00:17:56,728 --> 00:17:58,431 - Goody loves chicken. - No! 344 00:17:58,531 --> 00:18:00,371 - Chicken strips? - Look, if you want pub food, 345 00:18:00,469 --> 00:18:02,849 you go around the corner to the Dog House, best wings in town. 346 00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:05,412 - They got popcorn chicken? - Who is this kid? 347 00:18:05,512 --> 00:18:07,750 How's the Pitter-Patter panini, b'ys? 348 00:18:07,850 --> 00:18:10,422 I'd have one every day of the week if the price was right. 349 00:18:10,522 --> 00:18:11,924 Fuck you, Shoresy. 350 00:18:14,330 --> 00:18:18,271 - Five Pitter-Patters for the Sudbury Cantaloupe Cockapoos. 351 00:18:18,371 --> 00:18:20,575 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 352 00:18:30,929 --> 00:18:34,637 - Jesus, where ya' longs to? - Who is that? 353 00:18:35,505 --> 00:18:36,941 Who? 354 00:18:43,521 --> 00:18:44,890 By's, who knit her? 355 00:18:44,991 --> 00:18:46,661 You like chicken brochette? 356 00:18:49,567 --> 00:18:52,139 Sanger, Shoresy, Goody, Dolo and Hitch. 357 00:18:52,239 --> 00:18:55,054 And it's kind of funny with Hitch, 'cause his full name is Ted Hitchcock. 358 00:18:55,078 --> 00:18:58,084 But if you say it real fast, it sounds like ten-inch cock. 359 00:18:59,620 --> 00:19:01,290 Yeah. And this is Pam. 360 00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:04,697 - Huh. Laurence Leboeuf? Fuckin' A. 361 00:19:04,797 --> 00:19:06,868 Pam, can you fix me a Martoonie please? 362 00:19:06,969 --> 00:19:09,473 - Put your jibs in. Have some fuckin' self-respect. 363 00:19:09,573 --> 00:19:11,110 Laurence Leboeuf is here. 364 00:19:12,379 --> 00:19:16,020 Hey, don't you think Frankie looks like Yukon Cornelius? 365 00:19:20,195 --> 00:19:21,195 Really? 366 00:19:23,802 --> 00:19:25,172 [CROWD EXCLAIMING] 367 00:19:25,272 --> 00:19:26,272 Really? 368 00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:31,720 - Yeah, I know. - Mm-hmm. That's good you know. 369 00:19:31,784 --> 00:19:34,824 That's like, Frankie never forgets a toaster strudel. 370 00:19:34,924 --> 00:19:36,761 Never seen anything like it. 371 00:19:42,272 --> 00:19:44,410 - The pride of Quebec? - The pride of Quebec! 372 00:19:44,510 --> 00:19:47,282 Well, I hate to be the one to tell you, but did you know 373 00:19:47,382 --> 00:19:49,920 that the pride of Quebec can hammer a quatre-vingt-quinze 374 00:19:50,021 --> 00:19:51,390 pack of mini-chocolate bars 375 00:19:51,491 --> 00:19:52,961 in one episode of Cold Water Cowboys? 376 00:19:53,061 --> 00:19:55,131 - Oh, fuck you. - Hey, you ever seen a grown man 377 00:19:55,232 --> 00:19:57,669 dip pizza bread in Dunk-a-Roos frosting? 378 00:20:05,352 --> 00:20:07,256 Oh, the girls? Oh, they might. 379 00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:09,226 I prefer women. 380 00:20:09,827 --> 00:20:12,967 You ever had bacon-wrapped water chestnuts? 381 00:20:16,641 --> 00:20:18,044 Mark? 382 00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:20,682 [TOILET FLUSHING] 383 00:20:21,150 --> 00:20:22,419 Michaels? 384 00:20:24,991 --> 00:20:26,194 Nat! 385 00:20:26,928 --> 00:20:28,498 Your front door was open. 386 00:20:28,598 --> 00:20:30,135 Oh yeah, leave it open. 387 00:20:30,535 --> 00:20:32,439 - Why? - Well, just in case 388 00:20:32,539 --> 00:20:35,488 anyone wants to hang out. I even, I wrote a little note in the laundry room too, 389 00:20:35,512 --> 00:20:37,549 if anyone wants to hang out, I got beers and stuff. 390 00:20:38,184 --> 00:20:40,121 - Change your number? - My phone number? 391 00:20:40,222 --> 00:20:41,424 Your mambo number 5. 392 00:20:41,524 --> 00:20:42,926 I don't have a phone. 393 00:20:43,027 --> 00:20:44,864 You used to have a phone. 394 00:20:45,632 --> 00:20:48,438 - I sold it. - Why? 395 00:20:55,051 --> 00:20:57,356 What happened to all the money I paid you? 396 00:20:57,456 --> 00:20:59,026 Nat. 397 00:21:00,095 --> 00:21:04,136 - You've ever been in love? - Oh my God. Michaels! 398 00:21:04,236 --> 00:21:05,672 With a woman, OK? 399 00:21:05,772 --> 00:21:07,276 You spent it all on her? 400 00:21:07,376 --> 00:21:10,950 No. Well, I mean, yeah. 401 00:21:11,050 --> 00:21:14,323 - On what? - I don't know, like, presents. 402 00:21:15,325 --> 00:21:16,761 Keepsakes. 403 00:21:17,663 --> 00:21:18,798 Student debt. 404 00:21:18,898 --> 00:21:21,737 And then she just left with all of it? 405 00:21:21,837 --> 00:21:23,441 Just answer the question. 406 00:21:24,076 --> 00:21:25,278 Have you ever been in love? 407 00:21:25,378 --> 00:21:28,918 - Goalies are always so weird. - 'Cause I have. 408 00:21:29,653 --> 00:21:32,826 She didn't love me back. No. 409 00:21:34,096 --> 00:21:36,000 But I'll tell you what she did love. 410 00:21:38,771 --> 00:21:43,014 Giving squeezers off the side of Party Islands in Wasaga Beach. 411 00:21:44,750 --> 00:21:47,256 - Nat. - Yup. 412 00:21:47,856 --> 00:21:49,493 What's an aqua dump? 413 00:21:49,593 --> 00:21:51,965 I want you to come back to the team. 414 00:21:52,065 --> 00:21:53,268 What?! 415 00:21:53,969 --> 00:21:56,173 You want me to come back and coach a guy 416 00:21:56,274 --> 00:21:58,011 who gave my sweety a jelly bracelet? 417 00:21:58,111 --> 00:21:59,413 - Um-- - You want me to pretend 418 00:21:59,513 --> 00:22:01,751 it's not a big deal that she gave him an old-fashioned?! 419 00:22:01,851 --> 00:22:03,521 Her brothers are super weird but, dude-- 420 00:22:03,621 --> 00:22:06,694 No, no, no! She used to call me dude! 421 00:22:06,794 --> 00:22:08,274 - You've got-- - What's an aqua dump?! 422 00:22:08,298 --> 00:22:10,268 It's taking a dump in a body of water! 423 00:22:10,368 --> 00:22:12,773 So Mercedes gave Sanguinet a hand-made 424 00:22:12,873 --> 00:22:15,645 while Shoresy was taking a dump in the water? Fuck! 425 00:22:15,745 --> 00:22:17,482 - Your-- - You must think I'm in... 426 00:22:17,582 --> 00:22:18,885 Your dick is out! 427 00:22:21,223 --> 00:22:22,223 Oh. 428 00:22:25,365 --> 00:22:27,102 You must think I'm in pretty tough shape 429 00:22:27,202 --> 00:22:29,807 to come back and even consider coaching the... 430 00:22:30,542 --> 00:22:34,316 Didn't you change your name, what are ya? Furbaby Bulldogs? 431 00:22:35,085 --> 00:22:38,658 - I don't want you to coach. - Good. 'Cause I ain't. 432 00:22:38,758 --> 00:22:40,462 I want you to play. 433 00:22:48,411 --> 00:22:49,413 Hm. 434 00:22:50,782 --> 00:22:52,419 Well... 435 00:22:53,588 --> 00:22:54,790 I'm retired. 436 00:22:54,890 --> 00:22:56,794 Look around, Michaels. 437 00:22:56,894 --> 00:23:00,502 You've got nothing going on. Nothing going for you. 438 00:23:00,602 --> 00:23:04,309 - Did you know that they used to call me "Never Misses the Mark Michaels?" 439 00:23:04,410 --> 00:23:08,418 If you wanna get back on your feet, it starts with the boys. 440 00:23:08,518 --> 00:23:11,023 And a night at the Coulson. Tip your server. 441 00:23:11,123 --> 00:23:12,826 Well, I do miss those boys. 442 00:23:12,926 --> 00:23:15,799 - And they miss you. - Uh... 443 00:23:15,899 --> 00:23:17,736 Y... One would think. 444 00:23:18,204 --> 00:23:20,241 - Same pay? - No. 445 00:23:25,251 --> 00:23:27,622 Well, then I want an apology from Sanguinet. 446 00:23:27,723 --> 00:23:29,259 - Sure. - And Shoresy. 447 00:23:29,360 --> 00:23:30,495 Shit. 448 00:23:30,595 --> 00:23:31,731 Man to man. 449 00:23:31,831 --> 00:23:33,868 Why do you care what that mutant thinks? 450 00:23:33,969 --> 00:23:36,107 'Cause I run the show, you fucking idiot. 451 00:23:36,207 --> 00:23:37,977 Get in the box, you fucking loser. 452 00:23:38,077 --> 00:23:39,847 Are you fucking serious, Shoresy? 453 00:23:39,948 --> 00:23:42,152 Settle down, Cory, you'll pop a neck zit. 454 00:23:42,252 --> 00:23:43,921 - What a joke. - What a joke, eh? 455 00:23:44,022 --> 00:23:46,227 Says the guy sitting in the box taking his bucket off 456 00:23:46,327 --> 00:23:49,366 every ten seconds to whip his hair around for his broad. 457 00:23:49,466 --> 00:23:52,773 Hey, Liam, who am I? Oh, man, my hair's in my eyes again. 458 00:23:52,873 --> 00:23:54,276 I hate when this happens. 459 00:23:54,376 --> 00:23:56,948 Better take my fucking bucket off again, it's so annoying. 460 00:23:57,049 --> 00:23:59,920 - I posted your buddy Dolo's fight and you didn't even say thanks. 461 00:24:00,021 --> 00:24:01,992 - Posted it where? - Community bulletin board, 462 00:24:02,092 --> 00:24:03,628 you dumb fuck, go run and check it. 463 00:24:03,728 --> 00:24:05,865 YouTube. It's almost at 10k views. 464 00:24:05,966 --> 00:24:07,846 CORY: You're an idiot for not monetizing that. 465 00:24:07,936 --> 00:24:09,940 SHORESY: Shut up, Cory, you fucking nerd. 466 00:24:10,041 --> 00:24:11,710 CORY: Shoresy, if they snipe on this PP, 467 00:24:11,811 --> 00:24:13,581 I'm firing a clappy at your head. 468 00:24:13,681 --> 00:24:16,587 SHORESY: The clappy you fire off the glass 40 times in warm up, Cory? 469 00:24:16,687 --> 00:24:18,791 You got the scouts just buzzing with that muffin. 470 00:24:18,891 --> 00:24:22,599 They're calling you fucking Kyle Connor McDavid Pastrnak. 471 00:24:22,699 --> 00:24:24,002 CORY: Fuck you, Shoresy. 472 00:24:24,103 --> 00:24:26,340 SHORESY: Calling you fucking Scott Stevens Stamkos. 473 00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:29,713 CORY: Fuck off. SHORESY: Fucking Bobby Ryan Nugent-Hopkins. 474 00:24:29,813 --> 00:24:31,450 Hey, you got a dip? 475 00:24:34,790 --> 00:24:37,662 - Season ticket holders? Refunds? 476 00:24:38,331 --> 00:24:39,968 - Tell them to fuck off! - Shh! 477 00:24:40,068 --> 00:24:42,014 - They don't want them anymore. - What do they want? 478 00:24:42,038 --> 00:24:44,009 Making sure they still have their seats. 479 00:24:44,109 --> 00:24:45,779 - Fuck off! - Shh! 480 00:24:45,879 --> 00:24:46,879 Bums in seats? 481 00:24:46,948 --> 00:24:49,186 We'll be in at least the dozens. 482 00:24:49,753 --> 00:24:51,190 Nice work, sluts. 483 00:24:51,757 --> 00:24:54,396 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 38912

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