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{\an8}Well now! Hi again, everybody!
4
00:04:09,540 --> 00:04:11,792
{\an8}Time to play that great radio...
5
00:08:37,599 --> 00:08:39,392
Hiya, boys and girls!
6
00:08:39,393 --> 00:08:40,602
How are you today?
7
00:08:40,602 --> 00:08:42,687
It's me. I'm Koko the Clown!
8
00:08:42,813 --> 00:08:45,190
And we're ready for a really
big show today! Right?
9
00:08:45,983 --> 00:08:47,818
And I hope you're feelin' real happy.
10
00:08:47,901 --> 00:08:51,154
And if you're not feelin' happy,
and you're feelin' a little bit blue...
11
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,282
I have a song just for you!
12
00:08:53,365 --> 00:08:55,450
So, sing along with me,
boys and girls!
13
00:08:55,576 --> 00:08:56,868
Let's go!
14
00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:39,745
Oh, boys and girls,
15
00:09:39,828 --> 00:09:42,956
I hope you enjoyed singin' that song
as much as I did!
16
00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:47,540
And after a workout like that,
Koko feels real tired. Whew!
17
00:09:47,836 --> 00:09:51,130
And you know what I need for
quick energy, don't you boys and girls?
18
00:09:51,548 --> 00:09:54,050
That's right!
I need my milk!
19
00:09:56,970 --> 00:10:00,348
Oh, boys and girls,
if you're ever real tired
20
00:10:00,474 --> 00:10:01,850
and you need quick energy too,
21
00:10:02,059 --> 00:10:03,685
you oughta drink all your milk too
22
00:10:03,769 --> 00:10:06,188
'cause that's very important...
23
00:10:06,271 --> 00:10:10,066
Boys and girls,
do you hear something?
24
00:10:13,445 --> 00:10:17,945
Oooh! It's the magic monkey!
25
00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:21,411
Hiya, magic monkey!
26
00:10:22,996 --> 00:10:26,457
Oh? You know what the
magic monkey says, boys and girls?
27
00:10:26,542 --> 00:10:28,377
It's make-believe time!
28
00:10:28,460 --> 00:10:30,920
That's right! And you
know what that means...
29
00:10:31,255 --> 00:10:34,508
All of the big people
in the room have to leave.
30
00:10:34,591 --> 00:10:36,926
That's right, they can't take
part in make-believe time...
31
00:10:37,010 --> 00:10:38,803
only the little people!
32
00:10:38,887 --> 00:10:42,599
So, if you're over 10 years old
we want you to leave the room
33
00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:45,352
so that the little people can
take part in make-believe time.
34
00:10:45,435 --> 00:10:47,895
Now, we're gonna play the music
for make-believe time
35
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:50,107
and by the time that music is over
36
00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:53,318
I only want the little people
in the room, all right?
37
00:10:53,402 --> 00:10:55,946
Okay. Play the music,
Mr. Musicman.
38
00:10:56,864 --> 00:11:00,158
There it is now! Okay, are all
the big people leaving the room?
39
00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:02,327
Oh, there goes David's parents...
goodbye!
40
00:11:02,911 --> 00:11:04,913
Oh, there goes Marylou's parents...
okay, bye!
41
00:11:05,914 --> 00:11:08,207
Okay, that's the end of the music.
42
00:11:08,458 --> 00:11:11,836
Are all the little people here
for make-believe time?
43
00:11:12,087 --> 00:11:14,714
All of the big people
are out of the room?
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00:11:15,716 --> 00:11:17,259
Okay...
45
00:11:30,105 --> 00:11:31,397
Okay.
46
00:11:32,941 --> 00:11:36,027
Now, I have a...
request here from...
47
00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:40,198
Vickie Ulanet, of...
Fort Wayne.
48
00:11:40,699 --> 00:11:45,036
She asks for page 47 of
Fanny Hill by John Cleland.
49
00:11:58,175 --> 00:12:02,675
"I laid down then upon the couch,
and Charles finished undressing himself,
50
00:12:03,972 --> 00:12:06,808
"...revealing to my eyes
that column of delight
51
00:12:06,892 --> 00:12:11,392
"...whose impatient gestures signaled
the prelude to love's ecstatic union.
52
00:12:12,231 --> 00:12:16,360
"Urged on by consuming passion, we
were quickly joined in soft embrace,
53
00:12:16,818 --> 00:12:21,318
"...his hands exploring the fiery moist territory
whence derived my intoxicating pleasures.
54
00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:29,206
"Most readily I obeyed my love's
soft-spoken command
55
00:12:29,289 --> 00:12:33,789
"...to alter my recumbent position
that he might gain swift entrance.
56
00:12:34,544 --> 00:12:37,713
"But how can I describe the overwhelming
bliss which swept through me
57
00:12:38,006 --> 00:12:42,506
"...as the delicious velvet tip
divided the gates of pleasure
58
00:12:43,178 --> 00:12:47,678
"...and the ivory shaft insinuated itself
to it's furthest penetration,
59
00:12:47,891 --> 00:12:51,436
"...only to withdraw and plunge,
again and again.
60
00:12:55,524 --> 00:12:58,235
"Thoroughly inundated
by the tides of pleasure which
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00:12:58,318 --> 00:13:00,653
"...flowed forth
from these violent actions,
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00:13:00,737 --> 00:13:03,990
yielded up
the last vestiges of resistance
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00:13:04,074 --> 00:13:07,160
"...giving myself entirely
to the rapturous rhythm
64
00:13:07,244 --> 00:13:10,330
"...which carried us all too quickly
over love's crest,
65
00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:14,334
"...and left us exhausted
and joyous upon the shore."
66
00:13:16,003 --> 00:13:19,297
Well... that was
an excellent request, Vickie,
67
00:13:19,464 --> 00:13:21,132
hope you enjoyed it.
68
00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:25,554
Now we have another request here,
from Kippy Pratt
69
00:13:25,637 --> 00:13:27,930
of Springfield, and he asks for
70
00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:32,102
page 43 of Philosophy in the Bedroom,
by Marquis de Sade.
71
00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:37,357
Oh, uh... I see we're running
a little late, and I...
72
00:13:37,566 --> 00:13:41,778
Uh... I'll get to this tomorrow, but I do
wanna make a special announcement.
73
00:13:41,903 --> 00:13:46,403
Uh... uh, it seems a boy from Newton
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00:13:46,491 --> 00:13:49,243
let his parents stay in the room
during make-believe time,
75
00:13:49,369 --> 00:13:52,705
or at least it was his mother,
because she called the station,
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00:13:52,789 --> 00:13:55,041
and it's a good thing the management
doesn't watch the show
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00:13:55,125 --> 00:13:57,043
'cause they thought
it was a crank call.
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00:13:57,127 --> 00:13:59,879
But I'm only mentioning this
to tell you that
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00:13:59,963 --> 00:14:02,298
really, it's very important
that you make sure
80
00:14:02,382 --> 00:14:04,634
the big people leave the room
during make-believe time,
81
00:14:04,718 --> 00:14:06,386
because, if you don't do that
82
00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:10,056
the management will catch onto
what we're doing, and uh...
83
00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:13,268
we'll have to go off the air and I won't
be able to take your requests and so on...
84
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:15,270
so really, please, it's very important
85
00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:19,232
make sure the big people, uh, leave
the room during make-believe time, okay?
86
00:14:19,316 --> 00:14:22,652
Now, as I said, we'll get to this tomorrow
when we'll have more time,
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00:14:22,736 --> 00:14:26,364
we'll get to the end of the show now,
you can call the big people back in the room.
88
00:14:26,490 --> 00:14:28,116
Jerry, you wanna hit the music?
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00:14:37,417 --> 00:14:40,711
Well, boys and girls!
It looks like that's the end of our show!
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00:14:41,004 --> 00:14:44,090
Hope you enjoyed it, and
I'll see you again tomorrow!
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00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:47,510
And don't forget, boys and girls,
to brush your teeth.
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00:14:47,594 --> 00:14:49,220
That's very important!
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00:14:49,429 --> 00:14:52,640
Bye-bye. boys and girls!
Bye!
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00:14:58,605 --> 00:14:59,981
Now, for the first time...
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00:15:00,190 --> 00:15:01,983
toothpaste and mouthwash together,
96
00:15:02,192 --> 00:15:03,693
in Mouth Appeal.
97
00:15:03,777 --> 00:15:06,488
The first mouthwash-toothpaste
that also removes
98
00:15:06,613 --> 00:15:08,489
superficial tobacco and food stains,
99
00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:10,116
to make your teeth look whiter,
100
00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:12,410
plus mouthwash for fresher breath.
101
00:15:12,786 --> 00:15:14,204
If you want to get closer,
102
00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:15,789
kissably closer,
103
00:15:15,831 --> 00:15:17,207
get Mouth Appeal!
104
00:15:17,499 --> 00:15:20,084
The toothpaste that gets you closer!
105
00:16:20,061 --> 00:16:23,272
Welcome to the
Kramp TV Kitchen.
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00:16:23,982 --> 00:16:26,567
Tonight we are featuring a
festive holiday dish,
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00:16:26,860 --> 00:16:28,778
which is a traditional
favorite in Newark,
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00:16:28,987 --> 00:16:31,698
and sure to delight your entire family,
109
00:16:32,199 --> 00:16:34,993
Fourth of July Heritage Loaf.
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00:16:36,036 --> 00:16:39,622
Begin by coating the inside of
a large, shallow casserole dish
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00:16:39,998 --> 00:16:43,209
with Kramp Easy Lube brand
vegetable shortening,
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00:16:43,418 --> 00:16:45,795
and place in your refrigerator to cool.
113
00:16:46,713 --> 00:16:48,923
While the first casserole dish is cooling,
114
00:16:49,132 --> 00:16:51,092
take a similar casserole dish,
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00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:55,138
coat it with Kramp Easy Lube brand
vegetable shortening,
116
00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:59,722
and place it in an oven which
has been preheated to 350 degrees.
117
00:17:00,852 --> 00:17:04,522
Next, peel and core a large Rome apple.
118
00:17:21,206 --> 00:17:23,208
Insert the peel into the hollow center
119
00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:25,376
and coat the entire apple
120
00:17:25,460 --> 00:17:29,088
with Kramp Easy Lube brand
vegetable shortening.
121
00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:33,593
Now, roll the apple
in a half-and-half mixture
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00:17:33,802 --> 00:17:37,472
of sifted flour and bread crumbs,
and set aside.
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00:17:41,476 --> 00:17:44,395
Spread a half-cup
of leftover mashed potatoes
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00:17:44,604 --> 00:17:46,606
on the palm of your right hand.
125
00:17:51,111 --> 00:17:55,156
Place an onion in the center
and clench your hand into a fist
126
00:17:55,365 --> 00:17:57,867
while moving your fingers
from side to side
127
00:17:58,076 --> 00:18:00,078
to coat the onion evenly.
128
00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:03,873
Dip your hand in a bowl of ice water
129
00:18:03,873 --> 00:18:07,585
and open it quickly so that
the onion floats to the top.
130
00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:12,882
Now, bring out the casserole that
was cooling in the refrigerator
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00:18:13,091 --> 00:18:15,301
and into it, drain off the water.
132
00:18:17,804 --> 00:18:19,680
Set the onion aside.
133
00:18:19,889 --> 00:18:23,475
Return the casserole
to the refrigerator to cool.
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00:18:24,769 --> 00:18:26,854
Take the apple which we cored earlier,
135
00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:28,356
and cut it in half.
136
00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:33,486
Remove the apple peel from the core,
137
00:18:33,862 --> 00:18:37,574
and fasten it with toothpicks
around the outside of the apple.
138
00:18:45,874 --> 00:18:49,544
Cover with Kramp Easy Lube
brand vegetable shortening
139
00:18:49,753 --> 00:18:51,254
and set aside.
140
00:18:52,672 --> 00:18:54,674
Pit a half-dozen black olives,
141
00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:57,469
and a half-dozen bing cherries.
142
00:19:11,358 --> 00:19:14,319
Insert the olive pits into
the pitted cherries.
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00:19:20,742 --> 00:19:25,242
Then, insert the cherries, into which
we have just inserted the olive pits,
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00:19:26,039 --> 00:19:28,249
into the pitted olives.
145
00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:35,173
Remove the cool casserole
from the refrigerator,
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00:19:35,465 --> 00:19:37,758
and into it place the stuffed olives.
147
00:19:38,176 --> 00:19:42,676
Return the casserole to the refrigerator,
once again, to cool.
148
00:19:44,140 --> 00:19:46,350
Take the apple we prepared earlier,
149
00:19:46,434 --> 00:19:48,352
and discard the peel.
150
00:19:55,735 --> 00:19:59,572
Place the apple in the casserole
which is now in the refrigerator.
151
00:19:59,656 --> 00:20:03,034
Next, bring out the casserole which
was originally in the oven,
152
00:20:03,243 --> 00:20:04,744
and is now in the oven,
153
00:20:04,869 --> 00:20:06,412
and place it on the table.
154
00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:14,837
Coat your hands with Kramp
Easy Lube brand vegetable shortening
155
00:20:15,046 --> 00:20:18,716
and knead the contents of each,
at the same time.
156
00:20:27,851 --> 00:20:32,021
Pour equal amounts of each casserole
into two 8-inch bread pans
157
00:20:32,188 --> 00:20:33,898
and let stand overnight.
158
00:20:41,531 --> 00:20:45,826
And now, here is our finished
Fourth of July Heritage Loaf
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00:20:45,827 --> 00:20:49,121
which we prepared last night
in our Kramp TV Kitchen
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00:20:49,330 --> 00:20:51,623
and is now ready for the table.
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00:21:02,302 --> 00:21:06,514
Spread a layer of Kramp Dairy Foam
Whipped Cream Substitute
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00:21:06,598 --> 00:21:08,349
between the loaves.
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00:21:19,694 --> 00:21:22,697
For a special Fourth of July holiday treat,
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00:21:23,031 --> 00:21:26,993
decorate with a miniature version
of Old Glory.
165
00:21:32,999 --> 00:21:36,711
You'll smile with pride,
as your family enjoys
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00:21:36,878 --> 00:21:40,214
Kramp's Fourth of July Heritage Loaf.
167
00:21:41,591 --> 00:21:43,509
My wife's incredible.
168
00:21:43,593 --> 00:21:45,595
She took care of the baby all day,
169
00:21:46,095 --> 00:21:48,472
cooked a great dinner,
and even went to a school meeting,
170
00:21:48,556 --> 00:21:51,267
and, look at her. She looks better
than any of her friends.
171
00:21:51,559 --> 00:21:53,060
She takes care of herself,
172
00:21:53,269 --> 00:21:55,562
gets her rest, does her sit-ups,
watches her diet,
173
00:21:55,688 --> 00:21:57,898
and to make sure she gets
enough iron and vitamins,
174
00:21:57,982 --> 00:22:01,193
she takes Geritan every morning.
Makes me take it, too.
175
00:22:01,778 --> 00:22:04,113
More than twice the iron of ordinary
supplements,
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00:22:04,197 --> 00:22:05,489
plus seven vitamins.
177
00:22:05,573 --> 00:22:07,825
{\an7}Take care of yourself.
Take Geritan.
178
00:22:08,701 --> 00:22:11,286
My wife...
I think I'll keep her.
179
00:22:15,667 --> 00:22:16,417
Good evening!
180
00:22:16,501 --> 00:22:20,296
Our topic for tonight's discussion
is the free world economy.
181
00:22:20,380 --> 00:22:21,756
Where is it going?
182
00:22:22,382 --> 00:22:23,883
The guests on our panel are:
183
00:22:24,384 --> 00:22:28,596
Dr. James Pendleton, chairman
of the Atlantic Monetary Foundation;
184
00:22:29,097 --> 00:22:33,184
Henry Gladstone, professor of Economics
at Frick University;
185
00:22:33,768 --> 00:22:37,188
Stuart Felton, editor of the
World Banking Quarterly;
186
00:22:37,856 --> 00:22:39,983
and Dr. Robert Chambers,
187
00:22:40,066 --> 00:22:44,236
president of the Norstad Council
for Economic Development.
188
00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:47,614
My first question, and perhaps we can
hear from Dr. Chambers on this, is:
189
00:22:48,032 --> 00:22:51,827
Where does the free world
economy stand at this time?
190
00:22:52,745 --> 00:22:56,039
Of course, this is always
a difficult thing to ascertain,
191
00:22:56,666 --> 00:22:58,334
but I think it would be
somewhat accurate to say
192
00:22:58,459 --> 00:23:00,544
that the current situation is in transition.
193
00:23:01,462 --> 00:23:03,881
Um, the gold and silver markets,
194
00:23:03,965 --> 00:23:07,218
although these are rarely indicative
of the long-range picture
195
00:23:07,302 --> 00:23:11,802
show an energetic movement causing
no small amount of speculation, actually.
196
00:23:12,223 --> 00:23:16,227
Readjustment seems to be geared
to the combined influences now
197
00:23:16,644 --> 00:23:19,730
of the gross products
of industrial markets
198
00:23:20,023 --> 00:23:24,360
and the ever-shifting labor picture...
199
00:23:24,444 --> 00:23:28,531
I... would definitely agree with
you on that, doctor, but one must add
200
00:23:28,656 --> 00:23:33,922
that the world trade market is oft-times
a very helpful indicator of the 30-day trend...
201
00:23:34,203 --> 00:23:35,329
No.
202
00:23:35,413 --> 00:23:37,498
And one can see in this case
203
00:23:37,582 --> 00:23:41,127
a perceptible movement toward
a new overall level...
204
00:23:41,210 --> 00:23:42,920
Ah, forgive me for interrupting you,
but, uh...
205
00:23:43,338 --> 00:23:46,632
I think... I think we're missing a
very important point here.
206
00:23:47,926 --> 00:23:49,719
Uh, er... I'll take the ham and cheese...
207
00:23:50,011 --> 00:23:53,222
The, um, the Atlantic Treaty Council,
as I think we're all aware,
208
00:23:53,431 --> 00:23:55,349
uh, yesterday issued a report...
- This is delightful.
209
00:23:55,642 --> 00:23:57,143
...stating that the central
European nations
210
00:23:57,226 --> 00:23:59,728
have shown a combined rise
of copper-standard
211
00:23:59,812 --> 00:24:02,314
of less than about one-half
of one percent. Well...
212
00:24:02,607 --> 00:24:04,609
that's something we can
really get our teeth into.
213
00:24:06,402 --> 00:24:08,195
- I want some of that...
- Let me take that...
214
00:24:08,529 --> 00:24:09,696
- Well, I think...
- If you'll gimme...
215
00:24:09,697 --> 00:24:12,533
- Oh, oh! That was the one I wanted...
- No thank you, this is fine...
216
00:24:12,533 --> 00:24:14,535
- Don't want to make a pig of myself.
- I can't...
217
00:24:14,702 --> 00:24:16,912
can't understand why this is so dry.
218
00:25:12,301 --> 00:25:16,801
For jet service for Pittsburgh...
219
00:25:19,267 --> 00:25:22,270
will depart from Gate 12.
220
00:26:06,272 --> 00:26:07,815
- Ha ha ha!
- Yeah... we did it!
221
00:26:07,982 --> 00:26:08,816
We actually did it!
222
00:26:11,235 --> 00:26:12,319
Wait, wait...
223
00:26:12,445 --> 00:26:13,320
Whoa...
224
00:26:13,321 --> 00:26:14,322
whoa...
225
00:26:14,447 --> 00:26:15,364
whoa...
226
00:26:15,364 --> 00:26:16,031
whoa!
- Ha ha ha!!
227
00:26:16,032 --> 00:26:17,450
Did you see the way that
stewardess looked at me, man?
228
00:26:17,450 --> 00:26:19,160
That's right! That's right!
And you know why?
229
00:26:19,660 --> 00:26:21,161
And you had that cigar...
230
00:26:22,872 --> 00:26:25,165
Man, we did it!
I can't get over it!
231
00:26:25,666 --> 00:26:27,501
Did you see the way
those fuckin' people
232
00:26:27,585 --> 00:26:29,587
were lookin' at us when we got off
that plane, man?
233
00:26:29,670 --> 00:26:30,754
I can't believe it!
234
00:26:34,217 --> 00:26:36,135
You were terrific! I was terrific!
235
00:26:36,135 --> 00:26:38,053
It's really hot in here, man,
but I'll tell you...
236
00:26:38,137 --> 00:26:40,139
I was scared, Boss,
but I would do it again, man.
237
00:26:40,139 --> 00:26:42,224
You know that? I walked by a
cop in the airport,
238
00:26:42,350 --> 00:26:44,435
he didn't even look at me, man!
It was amazing!
239
00:26:44,435 --> 00:26:46,061
We really pulled it off, man!
240
00:26:46,062 --> 00:26:48,397
Ingenious! You are a genius!
241
00:26:48,564 --> 00:26:50,065
I tell you, man, it was terrific!
242
00:26:50,274 --> 00:26:52,567
We should get a camera and
take pictures of ourselves,
243
00:26:52,652 --> 00:26:54,070
and have 'em blown up like posters!
244
00:26:54,070 --> 00:26:56,655
We need that proof, man. Nobody would
believe this if we told 'em about it.
245
00:26:56,739 --> 00:26:58,365
We gotta get pictures of this, right?
246
00:26:58,574 --> 00:26:59,741
Get out that camera, man.
247
00:27:22,265 --> 00:27:24,600
We are gonna make a lot of money
on this stuff, Rodriguez.
248
00:27:25,059 --> 00:27:26,143
I hope so!
249
00:27:26,144 --> 00:27:28,896
This is our chance to get out of the city,
get that farm in Woodstock,
250
00:27:29,522 --> 00:27:32,900
chickens, horses, organic garden...
251
00:27:33,025 --> 00:27:35,110
- Huh?
- Watch the sun come up...
252
00:27:38,322 --> 00:27:41,033
Hello, Jerry?
Hi, baby, this is Boss.
253
00:27:41,534 --> 00:27:44,245
Yeah! I got some beautiful
shit for you, baby!
254
00:27:45,163 --> 00:27:46,956
Gold, with a hint of red!
255
00:27:47,748 --> 00:27:50,917
Two tokes, and you're wasted!
That's right!
256
00:27:51,502 --> 00:27:54,796
I can get 50 for it, but you're my friend,
man, I'll give it to you for 40.
257
00:27:55,590 --> 00:27:56,591
Okay!
258
00:27:57,300 --> 00:27:59,802
All right... okay...
259
00:27:59,802 --> 00:28:02,012
Right, we'll be right over.
Right, okay.
260
00:28:25,203 --> 00:28:28,080
Oh. Hi Boss! Come in, come in.
261
00:28:32,501 --> 00:28:35,003
Boss, I wish you'd give me
your number.
262
00:28:35,087 --> 00:28:38,590
I mean, I've been busy as hell
these last few days,
263
00:28:38,716 --> 00:28:41,510
and I just can't wait around
for you to call me.
264
00:28:41,719 --> 00:28:43,220
Right, kemosabe?
265
00:28:43,387 --> 00:28:46,890
Oh, listen Boss, if you ever
want to, I mean,
266
00:28:47,058 --> 00:28:50,895
always leave your name
with my answering service.
267
00:28:50,895 --> 00:28:53,480
That's what I pay them for,
right old bean?
268
00:28:54,565 --> 00:28:59,065
Oh, Boss, by the way, that last
stuff was absolutely terrific!
269
00:29:00,988 --> 00:29:04,574
My God! We were out
at the Hamptons, you know.
270
00:29:04,784 --> 00:29:07,411
Three days on that goddamn boat
with that stuff!
271
00:29:07,495 --> 00:29:09,955
And that stuff was so marvelous
272
00:29:10,122 --> 00:29:14,622
that afterwards we found out we hadn't
even left the goddamn dock!
273
00:29:17,755 --> 00:29:21,592
Why, listen, could we have a
little taste right now, Boss?
274
00:29:21,759 --> 00:29:25,387
I mean, that last stuff
was so goddamn great
275
00:29:25,471 --> 00:29:27,681
I'd just like to get
a little buzz on right now!
276
00:29:27,890 --> 00:29:29,600
Yeah, yeah, sure.
That'll be fine, man.
277
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:31,310
Uh, can we use
your bathroom first, though?
278
00:29:31,394 --> 00:29:33,312
- Oh, by all means, sure...
- And then we'll be right back.
279
00:29:33,312 --> 00:29:34,938
You know where it is,
at the top of the stairs.
280
00:29:34,939 --> 00:29:37,441
- Right. We'll try it out...
- Right, yes...
281
00:29:38,651 --> 00:29:41,070
Can you believe that?
That guy is a cop!
282
00:29:41,070 --> 00:29:43,655
I didn't even give him my right name,
I saw it right away, man!
283
00:29:43,656 --> 00:29:45,741
I was so fuckin' scared, the way he
was lookin' at you, man!
284
00:29:45,825 --> 00:29:46,951
- Did you see that?
- Right!
285
00:29:47,076 --> 00:29:48,994
Did you ever see anything that looked
like a cop more than that guy?
286
00:29:49,036 --> 00:29:51,538
No, and that fuckin' guys a narc,
it's written all over his goddamn face!
287
00:29:51,622 --> 00:29:52,831
- What d'ya wanna do about it?
- I don't know.
288
00:29:53,165 --> 00:29:54,249
All right.
289
00:29:55,042 --> 00:29:57,335
Look, will you get out of here, lady?
This is more important than that!
290
00:29:58,087 --> 00:30:00,506
Ditch the shit! Put the
shit in the toilet! Hurry up!
291
00:30:01,507 --> 00:30:03,425
- Go see if he's coming, Boss, please?
- I'm looking!
292
00:30:06,762 --> 00:30:09,264
- Holy shit, man!
- What's the matter?
293
00:30:11,809 --> 00:30:13,018
We gotta wait for it to fill up.
294
00:30:13,978 --> 00:30:15,771
What are we gonna do, man?
What if he comes up here?
295
00:30:16,355 --> 00:30:18,940
Sit down on the toilet. Take your
bag off, sit down on the toilet.
296
00:30:19,233 --> 00:30:21,026
Sit down on the toilet!
297
00:30:21,902 --> 00:30:23,278
Take off your pants!
298
00:30:23,654 --> 00:30:25,447
- I'll keep an eye out.
- See if he's coming. Please, man.
299
00:30:25,531 --> 00:30:27,991
- Please, man!
- All right, just stay down.
300
00:30:28,784 --> 00:30:29,910
Ohhhhh...
301
00:30:40,212 --> 00:30:41,421
It's cool.
302
00:30:41,797 --> 00:30:43,006
What's cool?
303
00:30:43,966 --> 00:30:46,051
He hasn't come up!
What do you mean, "What's cool?"
304
00:30:46,260 --> 00:30:48,637
Jesus Christ, man! Will you stop yelling?
What if he hears us?
305
00:30:49,472 --> 00:30:51,474
- You crazy, man?
- Just stay down there.
306
00:30:51,515 --> 00:30:53,391
I am so fuckin' scared!
We gotta get outta here, man!
307
00:30:53,517 --> 00:30:56,853
The face of a cop, the eyes of a cop,
the cigar of a cop...
308
00:30:57,146 --> 00:30:58,522
Did you see that guys socks?
309
00:30:58,564 --> 00:31:01,275
Next time we deal, there's one person
there, man. Only one person.
310
00:31:01,525 --> 00:31:03,151
That's the way we
usually do it, right? Please!
311
00:31:03,235 --> 00:31:05,028
- Just stay down there.
- I am.
312
00:31:10,701 --> 00:31:12,119
Okay, it's still cool.
313
00:31:12,828 --> 00:31:14,746
Let me check it out,
lemme see where it is.
314
00:31:17,958 --> 00:31:21,252
Hasn't filled... hasn't...
Get back. It hasn't filled up yet.
315
00:31:21,712 --> 00:31:22,713
Just stay down.
316
00:31:33,265 --> 00:31:34,266
Okay.
317
00:31:36,644 --> 00:31:39,063
- Is it still makin' that noise?
- Let's try it. Come on.
318
00:31:40,022 --> 00:31:41,523
There it goes!
319
00:31:42,274 --> 00:31:45,026
We gotta get outta here, Boss!
We gotta get out of here, man!
320
00:31:45,152 --> 00:31:47,821
- Come on, hurry up!
- Come on, man. Let's go, please!
321
00:31:48,114 --> 00:31:50,116
There it goes.
All right!
322
00:31:52,284 --> 00:31:55,203
If I ever see that guy in the street,
if I ever see him anywhere,
323
00:31:55,204 --> 00:31:56,580
I'll break his fuckin' legs.
324
00:31:56,664 --> 00:31:58,165
I've had enough, man.
I'm goin' home.
325
00:31:58,165 --> 00:32:00,959
- Aw, we've got one more delivery to make.
- That is enough for me.
326
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:03,379
- What?
- We gotta go to your buddy, Jerry's.
327
00:32:03,421 --> 00:32:05,089
After that we're goin' right...
328
00:32:05,714 --> 00:32:07,173
Ha ha ha!
329
00:32:07,466 --> 00:32:09,676
- What's the matter?
- Would you believe this?
330
00:32:09,927 --> 00:32:12,054
There's a cop followin' us.
331
00:32:12,555 --> 00:32:14,640
That's not very funny, man.
Just take it easy.
332
00:32:14,723 --> 00:32:16,933
- Take it easy?
- Just relax, man!
333
00:32:17,017 --> 00:32:18,226
With the shit in the car?
334
00:32:18,310 --> 00:32:19,728
I don't wanna get stopped
with the shit in the car,
335
00:32:19,812 --> 00:32:20,979
- That's why I want you to take it easy!
- I'm gonna slow down.
336
00:32:21,105 --> 00:32:23,357
No, no, man.
Don't drive too slow, man. Okay?
337
00:32:23,399 --> 00:32:24,900
- No, that's all right.
- Don't drive too slow.
338
00:32:24,984 --> 00:32:27,403
- Go the speed limit, all right?
- Holy Christ! He's still on my tail!
339
00:32:27,486 --> 00:32:29,196
Just... just go the speed limit.
You know, cops can smell fear, man.
340
00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:31,282
You don't drive too fast,
you don't drive too slow...
341
00:32:31,365 --> 00:32:32,491
Holy Christ, man.
I'm gonna speed up!
342
00:32:32,575 --> 00:32:34,535
- No, Boss, please!
- He's still followin' me!
343
00:32:34,618 --> 00:32:36,161
I don't wanna get stopped with
the shit in the car, man!
344
00:32:36,245 --> 00:32:37,412
- Where's the shit?
- It's under there...
345
00:32:37,496 --> 00:32:38,955
- Get the shit!
- Just leave it there! Leave it there!
346
00:32:39,039 --> 00:32:40,582
- Just get it! Come on!
- Leave it there, man! Leave it there!
347
00:32:40,666 --> 00:32:42,542
- What the fuck you gonna do?
- Eat it. Eat the shit!
348
00:32:42,626 --> 00:32:44,336
What do you wanna do?
Throw it out the window?
349
00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:46,922
Hurry up! Eat it!
350
00:32:54,638 --> 00:32:56,348
He's still following!
351
00:33:00,936 --> 00:33:01,895
Hurry up!
352
00:33:02,605 --> 00:33:04,356
And he's still following us...
353
00:33:04,565 --> 00:33:07,401
Oh fuck! He's got his light on!
The light's on!
354
00:33:09,195 --> 00:33:11,405
He's gonna pull us over!
Hurry up!
355
00:33:23,959 --> 00:33:25,585
Oh my god!
356
00:33:25,669 --> 00:33:27,128
Holy...
357
00:33:27,254 --> 00:33:29,965
You know, we ate enough shit
to kill a fuckin' army?
358
00:38:09,870 --> 00:38:10,996
Let's go.
359
00:38:47,825 --> 00:38:49,326
Yeah, good luck pal.
360
00:38:59,336 --> 00:39:01,338
Jesus Christ!
361
00:39:25,654 --> 00:39:28,281
Jeeesus Christ!
362
00:40:54,034 --> 00:40:55,952
Hey!
What are you doing?
363
00:41:04,002 --> 00:41:05,128
Gimme that!
364
00:41:12,344 --> 00:41:14,179
Rodriguez! We've been
ripped off!
365
00:41:14,262 --> 00:41:15,513
Rodriguez! We've
been ripped off!
366
00:41:15,597 --> 00:41:17,807
- What? What?
- A junkie just took 2 keys...
367
00:41:17,933 --> 00:41:20,518
...and the suits!
- The suits? Did you try to stop him, man?
368
00:41:20,602 --> 00:41:22,478
- Did you try to stop him?
- Did I try to stop him??!
369
00:41:22,562 --> 00:41:25,439
- Are you crazy??
- Take it easy, man!
370
00:41:25,732 --> 00:41:28,025
This fuckin' neighborhood, Jesus Christ!
371
00:41:28,110 --> 00:41:32,280
I can't take it, Rodriguez! We get
chased by cops. We eat the grass.
372
00:41:32,406 --> 00:41:35,617
We put the grass in toilets.
We get ripped off!
373
00:41:35,826 --> 00:41:37,452
Calm down, man.
Calm down.
374
00:41:38,578 --> 00:41:39,829
- Take it easy, Boss.
- I can't take it...
375
00:41:39,913 --> 00:41:43,082
You're not a baby, you're a dealer!
Man, come on, huh?
376
00:41:43,917 --> 00:41:45,418
Calm down, Boss, huh?
377
00:41:45,502 --> 00:41:47,921
We didn't lose everything.
We got a lot of shit left.
378
00:41:48,005 --> 00:41:51,091
We still have a lot of shit, man.
Take it easy.
379
00:41:55,262 --> 00:41:57,847
- I can't take it, Rodriguez.
- Take it easy, man. Huh?
380
00:41:58,807 --> 00:42:02,769
It's really been bothering me, Rodriguez.
I've really been bothered.
381
00:42:02,853 --> 00:42:03,812
About what, man?
382
00:42:03,895 --> 00:42:06,981
I don't know.
Somethings been bothering me.
383
00:42:07,357 --> 00:42:09,650
- What's botherin' you, man?
- I haven't been able to tell you...
384
00:42:09,776 --> 00:42:11,652
I know what it is,
I know what's bothering me.
385
00:42:11,737 --> 00:42:13,739
What is it, man? Tell me all about it,
man. What's bothering you?
386
00:42:14,239 --> 00:42:17,742
All this time. That's what's
been bothering me all this time.
387
00:42:17,868 --> 00:42:19,494
What, Boss? Tell me.
388
00:42:21,371 --> 00:42:22,872
You know, Rodriguez...
389
00:42:23,915 --> 00:42:25,541
you're really cute.
390
00:42:26,251 --> 00:42:28,711
- Boss...
- I think you're cute.
391
00:42:28,879 --> 00:42:31,047
- Thank you, Boss. Thank you.
- You're really a cute guy.
392
00:42:31,131 --> 00:42:32,173
Thank you. Thank you.
393
00:42:32,257 --> 00:42:34,259
That's what's been bothering
me all this time.
394
00:42:34,676 --> 00:42:37,345
You're bothered
over me being cute?
395
00:42:38,513 --> 00:42:40,556
- I don't get it, man.
- I love you, Rodriguez.
396
00:42:40,640 --> 00:42:42,433
I love you too, man.
You're my buddy!
397
00:42:43,268 --> 00:42:45,561
I really love you... Rodriguez.
398
00:42:45,771 --> 00:42:47,147
I really love you, man.
399
00:42:47,230 --> 00:42:50,191
You know, we've been through
a lot of tight ones together.
400
00:42:50,484 --> 00:42:52,444
We live together.
We deal together.
401
00:42:52,527 --> 00:42:54,529
I really love you too, man.
402
00:42:55,864 --> 00:42:58,324
Maybe we should have something to
calm you down, you know what I mean?
403
00:42:58,450 --> 00:43:00,076
Did you ever hear of
gay lib, Rodriguez?
404
00:43:00,327 --> 00:43:01,953
- Gay lib?
- That's right.
405
00:43:02,704 --> 00:43:05,498
I don't read that kind of shit, Boss.
What do you mean, what's gay lib?
406
00:43:05,582 --> 00:43:06,874
It means I love you.
407
00:43:06,958 --> 00:43:09,251
I told you man, I love you too.
What's the hangup?
408
00:43:09,669 --> 00:43:11,462
But we never get to
be together.
409
00:43:12,214 --> 00:43:15,300
Boss, we're together all the fuckin' time,
man. Wh... what are you talkin' about?
410
00:43:15,801 --> 00:43:17,093
I don't get it, man.
411
00:43:17,719 --> 00:43:18,886
What's goin' on?
412
00:43:19,638 --> 00:43:21,264
Let's go to bed, Rodriguez.
413
00:43:22,432 --> 00:43:25,726
Bed? At fuckin' 7:30?
What the fuck you wanna go to bed for?
414
00:43:30,649 --> 00:43:34,527
You sure you don't want one of these,
man? They're really good.
415
00:43:34,611 --> 00:43:37,238
You sure you don't want one
of these, man? They're really good.
416
00:43:37,322 --> 00:43:40,616
You sure you don't want one
of these, man? They're really good.
417
00:43:40,700 --> 00:43:42,576
You sure you don't want one
of these, man? They're really good.
418
00:43:42,661 --> 00:43:44,871
They're really good...
They're really good...
419
00:43:44,955 --> 00:43:48,208
They're really good...
They're really good...
420
00:43:55,132 --> 00:43:59,632
Sure, you put in eight big hours
breakin' your back for a few lousy bucks.
421
00:44:00,137 --> 00:44:02,639
You've earned the right
to blow off some steam...
422
00:44:02,889 --> 00:44:06,684
and that's when Butz
comes in mighty handy!
423
00:44:20,073 --> 00:44:23,159
We know a lot about
hard-workin' Joes like you.
424
00:44:23,285 --> 00:44:26,371
You like to grab onto life,
and ram it home!
425
00:44:30,709 --> 00:44:33,294
Like they say, you only get
to go around once...
426
00:44:33,378 --> 00:44:36,381
so it, uh, might as well be
with a bartender, right?
427
00:44:55,025 --> 00:44:58,528
We know it's a big, brutal world
that builds up a big, brutal thirst!
428
00:44:58,612 --> 00:45:02,282
And that's why we brew Butz, for when
you're having more made,
429
00:45:02,365 --> 00:45:05,076
and times like this,
when the goin' gets rough
430
00:45:05,410 --> 00:45:08,246
you could use a case of Butz!
431
00:45:26,681 --> 00:45:28,766
{\an7}Direct from
our newsroom in New York,
432
00:45:28,850 --> 00:45:31,853
{\an7}it's the Channel One Evening News
with Robert Elgin and
433
00:45:31,937 --> 00:45:34,397
Leo Batfish in Suc Muc Dik,
434
00:45:34,564 --> 00:45:36,774
Thurthton Thithtertinton in Bath,
435
00:45:36,858 --> 00:45:39,652
Mikennica Mehkinica
in Washington, D.C.
436
00:45:39,736 --> 00:45:41,821
Freddi Fagu in Minneapolis,
437
00:45:41,947 --> 00:45:44,240
and Lionel Elgin in New York.
438
00:45:45,283 --> 00:45:46,492
{\an8}Good evening.
439
00:45:46,576 --> 00:45:50,496
Enemy sappers attacked Allied supply
bases in Longh Wang earlier today.
440
00:45:50,580 --> 00:45:53,833
Casualties were reported high
in the Gulf of Kakai,
441
00:45:53,917 --> 00:45:57,003
and in nearby Phuc Hu,
where enemy helicopters
442
00:45:57,087 --> 00:45:59,130
were downed by rock-throwing
peasant women.
443
00:45:59,214 --> 00:46:02,342
General Chow, commander of
Allied forces in Longh Wang,
444
00:46:02,425 --> 00:46:05,428
divided his troops
into two columns and ordered
445
00:46:05,512 --> 00:46:10,012
three units from column A and two units
from column B into ground fighting there.
446
00:46:10,850 --> 00:46:15,350
American troops were on hand, and here
with a report is Leo Batfish in Suc Muc Dik.
447
00:46:17,791 --> 00:46:20,276
{\an8}These are the proud
and plucky fighting men
448
00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:23,112
{\an8}of the Screaming
103rd Airborne Cavalry,
449
00:46:23,196 --> 00:46:26,490
secretly stationed here in Longh Wang
to support and destroy
450
00:46:26,574 --> 00:46:30,619
in this protective over-reaction mission
known as Operation Bloodbath.
451
00:46:30,829 --> 00:46:33,248
These battle-hardened,
shell-shocked,
452
00:46:33,331 --> 00:46:35,791
elite corps has covertly hauled
heavy artillery
453
00:46:35,875 --> 00:46:39,253
through rice paddies, cow patties,
jungles and swamps
454
00:46:39,337 --> 00:46:41,047
moving under cover of darkness
455
00:46:41,131 --> 00:46:44,342
to avoid being accidentally bombed
by stray B-52s.
456
00:46:44,426 --> 00:46:48,221
The Screaming 103rd is part of
the terminal pacification program
457
00:46:48,305 --> 00:46:52,805
initiated by an unknown stenographer
at the Pentagon in 1968.
458
00:46:53,184 --> 00:46:57,684
And so, for these men, war or no war,
enemy or no enemy,
459
00:46:58,565 --> 00:47:02,944
this dreadful, dreary, drab,
draconian drama drags on.
460
00:47:03,028 --> 00:47:07,198
This is Leo Batfish, in Suc Muc Dik.
461
00:47:07,782 --> 00:47:11,786
The Russian's new space program
got off to an inauspicious start today,
462
00:47:11,870 --> 00:47:15,874
apparently due to a gas leak aboard the
giant Skratchenitch-3 rocket.
463
00:47:16,082 --> 00:47:20,582
Here, via satellite, is a taped report
from Thurthton Thithtertinton in Bath.
464
00:47:22,505 --> 00:47:26,217
{\an9}The Soviet Union today launched
a Skratchenitch-3 rocket
465
00:47:26,301 --> 00:47:27,552
{\an9}with one Russian cosmonaut aboard.
466
00:47:27,635 --> 00:47:29,928
Soon after takeoff, the trouble began.
467
00:47:30,013 --> 00:47:32,890
Director of the mission,
Vladimir Gechuroxov,
468
00:47:32,974 --> 00:47:36,102
alerted the flight commander,
Yuri Vosnoski, of a dangerous
469
00:47:36,186 --> 00:47:39,480
amyl nitrate leak into the rockets
fresh air and cooling system.
470
00:47:39,814 --> 00:47:42,191
Apparently dazed
by the noxious chemical,
471
00:47:42,275 --> 00:47:44,235
Commander Vosnoski
disregarded orders
472
00:47:44,319 --> 00:47:48,197
and, donning his spacesuit, jumped
out of the giant spacecraft.
473
00:47:48,281 --> 00:47:49,740
Narrowly escaping doom
474
00:47:49,824 --> 00:47:51,867
with the aid of his British-built,
jet-propelled rocket pack,
475
00:47:51,951 --> 00:47:55,412
the berserk Russian spaceman,
apparently enraged by
476
00:47:55,497 --> 00:47:58,166
the technical malfunctions plaguing
the Soviet space program
477
00:47:58,249 --> 00:48:01,669
launched a one-man assault
on the mission control headquarters.
478
00:48:01,753 --> 00:48:05,465
In a typically Russian display of pique,
Vosnoski fought for several minutes
479
00:48:05,548 --> 00:48:08,259
with scientists involved
in the ill-fated launching.
480
00:48:08,343 --> 00:48:12,843
Alexi Rudnockni, an authority on solar
wind, and former Olympic discus thrower,
481
00:48:12,972 --> 00:48:17,434
finally overcame cosmonaut Vosnoski
by driving him into the atomic pile.
482
00:48:17,519 --> 00:48:19,812
His present condition is unknown.
483
00:48:19,938 --> 00:48:21,856
Meanwhile, the abandoned rocket,
484
00:48:21,940 --> 00:48:24,067
on a collision course for
St. Peter's Basilica in Rome,
485
00:48:24,150 --> 00:48:28,487
was detonated. This is
Thurthton Thithtertinton in Bath.
486
00:49:02,439 --> 00:49:05,191
In how many ways can one
make the world...
487
00:49:07,652 --> 00:49:12,152
a little bit better? At Uranus,
we're just beginning to find out.
488
00:49:13,366 --> 00:49:15,993
The President went
to the airwaves this evening,
489
00:49:16,077 --> 00:49:17,912
in a televised address to the nation.
490
00:49:17,996 --> 00:49:20,873
Commenting upon the spirit of dissent
abroad in the land
491
00:49:20,999 --> 00:49:23,376
the President reaffirmed
his confidence
492
00:49:23,501 --> 00:49:26,545
in the basic strength
of the American people.
493
00:49:26,629 --> 00:49:31,129
I'm in the driver's seat. I run the show.
I'm the fuckin' president.
494
00:49:32,093 --> 00:49:34,470
Earlier in the clay,
the President welcomed
495
00:49:34,596 --> 00:49:37,348
the Prime Minister of India,
Mrs. Mahetma Yenta.
496
00:49:37,432 --> 00:49:40,726
Mikennica Mehkinica reports from
the nation's capital.
497
00:49:42,312 --> 00:49:46,232
{\an8}After a day spent in consultation with
the Prime Minister and her aides,
498
00:49:46,316 --> 00:49:48,192
{\an8}the President took
the demure world leader
499
00:49:48,276 --> 00:49:50,861
{\an8}on an informal tour
of the White House Rose Garden.
500
00:49:50,945 --> 00:49:52,988
{\an8}Later, they spoke to reporters.
501
00:49:53,531 --> 00:49:56,909
I would like to thank the
marvelous people of the United States
502
00:49:57,118 --> 00:49:59,620
for the great reception
they showed me here,
503
00:49:59,913 --> 00:50:03,791
and, of course, the hospitality
of your great president.
504
00:50:04,125 --> 00:50:06,836
- Thank you.
- Thank you, isn't she terrific!
505
00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:08,630
I mean, this woman
is the head of a country,
506
00:50:08,713 --> 00:50:09,797
with thousands of starving people,
507
00:50:09,881 --> 00:50:12,550
and she herself, as you can see,
look at this! She's not starving!
508
00:50:12,634 --> 00:50:15,261
This takes imagination!
This takes coura...
509
00:50:20,767 --> 00:50:24,187
And that... is it!
That's it! That's it.
510
00:50:24,270 --> 00:50:26,272
- Thank you. Thank you.
- Thank you, Mr. President.
511
00:50:26,356 --> 00:50:27,982
Thank you, Mr. President.
512
00:50:28,066 --> 00:50:29,692
Thank you! You're wonderful,
you know that?
513
00:50:29,776 --> 00:50:31,527
You're really something!
I'm really gonna take you...
514
00:50:31,653 --> 00:50:33,655
You're really gonna like America!
America's gonna be
515
00:50:33,738 --> 00:50:35,239
your favorite country!
I'll see to that!
516
00:50:35,573 --> 00:50:38,242
The assassination attempt
in the Rose Garden was
517
00:50:38,326 --> 00:50:41,704
the 23rd such incident since
the President took office,
518
00:50:41,829 --> 00:50:44,540
and the 2nd in the
last five days.
519
00:50:49,754 --> 00:50:52,715
Five years ago,
a team of scientists
520
00:50:52,799 --> 00:50:56,636
working at Uranus discovered
a unique polyester.
521
00:50:56,719 --> 00:50:59,680
It had the rare combination
of properties,
522
00:50:59,764 --> 00:51:04,264
which would make it suitable for reaming,
sheeting, molding, and cutting.
523
00:51:05,562 --> 00:51:10,062
It could be used as insulation, lubricant,
construction material, and fuel.
524
00:51:13,528 --> 00:51:15,446
Among other characteristics,
525
00:51:15,530 --> 00:51:18,741
it had the strength of steel,
the flexibility of rubber,
526
00:51:18,825 --> 00:51:22,161
and the nutritional value
of beef stew.
527
00:51:23,162 --> 00:51:27,662
This revolutionary substance,
developed at Uranus, is Brown-25.
528
00:51:30,628 --> 00:51:32,963
The variety of products
which can be made
529
00:51:33,047 --> 00:51:36,258
from this incredible
new material is unlimited.
530
00:51:36,342 --> 00:51:39,303
From a suspension bridge
to a child's plaything,
531
00:51:39,637 --> 00:51:43,891
Brown-25 does the job,
and does it for less.
532
00:51:44,809 --> 00:51:48,813
Brown-25.
Another fine product from...
533
00:51:49,063 --> 00:51:50,689
Uranus.
534
00:51:51,774 --> 00:51:55,778
At Uranus, things come out
a little differently.
535
00:51:56,779 --> 00:52:00,365
Every night this week, the Channel One
Evening News is featuring
536
00:52:00,450 --> 00:52:02,827
a special report on
the urban crisis.
537
00:52:02,994 --> 00:52:08,597
Here with another aspect of the problem,
is Peabody Award-winner Lionel Elgin.
538
00:52:09,959 --> 00:52:14,459
{\an8}I am standing in a run-down hotel room,
somewhere in New York's Times Square,
539
00:52:15,423 --> 00:52:19,923
where I am about to experience first-hand
the degradation to the soul and spirit
540
00:52:20,928 --> 00:52:23,347
which is New York prostitution.
541
00:52:24,098 --> 00:52:26,642
I have just given this woman $20,
542
00:52:26,726 --> 00:52:29,687
and now I am a "trick,"
as they would say around here.
543
00:52:29,771 --> 00:52:32,190
How much of that $20
do you get to keep?
544
00:52:32,273 --> 00:52:34,483
Every damn penny, slick.
And you gonna give me more!
545
00:52:34,651 --> 00:52:36,444
You didn't say nothin'
about that cameraman.
546
00:52:36,527 --> 00:52:38,237
I'm gonna give him a quick lick
and make it stick!
547
00:52:38,321 --> 00:52:40,114
He's kinda cute. You ain't
so bad lookin', Lionel.
548
00:52:40,198 --> 00:52:42,158
Bet you gotta dick in there
as big as that microphone.
549
00:52:42,241 --> 00:52:45,953
Get down here, stud. I'm gonna put
some lightning and thunder asunder, yeah!
550
00:52:46,245 --> 00:52:49,289
Oooh, you're nice and white
and that's all right! Yeah!
551
00:52:49,374 --> 00:52:51,542
- Is there someone behind you?
- I live in the last house...
552
00:52:51,626 --> 00:52:53,210
- Pardon me?
- Pardon you?
553
00:52:53,294 --> 00:52:56,130
Ain't nobody behind me but
my sweet hot chocolate buns!
554
00:52:56,589 --> 00:52:58,632
I bet you'd like to butter
them buns, huh faggot?
555
00:52:58,758 --> 00:52:59,925
This is a nice expensive shirt,
556
00:53:00,009 --> 00:53:02,636
but they put some cheap damn buttons
on it, I'll tell you that right now.
557
00:53:02,720 --> 00:53:05,013
You know, we gonna fuss and fight,
and it's gonna be all right!
558
00:53:05,223 --> 00:53:06,891
Let's get all this off here, baby.
559
00:53:06,974 --> 00:53:10,268
- Young, old, rich, poor.
- Yeah! Yeah! Yeah.
560
00:53:10,353 --> 00:53:12,438
These are the people
who pass through this
561
00:53:12,522 --> 00:53:15,399
- forgotten chamber buried in the heart of...
- Do what we can do!
562
00:53:15,483 --> 00:53:18,777
Still another decaying
urban neighborhood.
563
00:53:18,861 --> 00:53:21,405
This is Lionel Elgin,
in New York.
564
00:53:21,864 --> 00:53:26,364
Lionel? That sound like a train! I'm
gonna do a non-stop on you, choo-choo!
565
00:53:28,496 --> 00:53:31,749
And that's the way it is,
was, and will be.
566
00:53:31,833 --> 00:53:34,085
And this is Robert Elgin for
Channel One News,
567
00:53:34,168 --> 00:53:39,408
hoping that your news is good news.
Good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow.
568
00:53:39,799 --> 00:53:43,886
No matter what the news may be,
this time or any time,
569
00:53:43,970 --> 00:53:48,470
until next time, have a good time,
all the time.
570
00:56:58,164 --> 00:56:59,957
The Mayopak River.
571
00:57:00,291 --> 00:57:03,502
Thirty years ago, children
played on it's banks.
572
00:57:03,836 --> 00:57:08,336
Striped bass, salmon, and more than
thirty other species of fish
573
00:57:08,883 --> 00:57:11,552
streaked through its
crystal waters.
574
00:57:12,178 --> 00:57:16,348
But today, the Mayopak
is a river of another kind.
575
00:57:17,183 --> 00:57:21,103
The Uranus Corporation,
with its main processing plants
576
00:57:21,187 --> 00:57:23,564
located on the banks
of the great Mayopak,
577
00:57:23,648 --> 00:57:27,109
understands its responsibility
in this great waste
578
00:57:27,193 --> 00:57:30,321
of our land's natural beauty
and resources.
579
00:57:30,404 --> 00:57:32,823
We are doing something about it.
580
00:57:32,990 --> 00:57:37,452
Three years ago, the
Uranus Corporation hired thirty men
581
00:57:37,662 --> 00:57:42,162
highly respected in their fields,
and one million dollars later,
582
00:57:42,583 --> 00:57:46,086
they came up with this
new advertising campaign.
583
00:57:59,517 --> 00:58:04,017
Spanning the globe to bring you the
human drama of athletic competition,
584
00:58:04,563 --> 00:58:08,858
this is Channel One's
Wild World of Sports.
585
00:58:37,388 --> 00:58:40,682
This is Bob Van Horn back in
sunny Tijuana, Mexico
586
00:58:40,850 --> 00:58:44,687
live via early-bird satellite
for the final event of the day
587
00:58:44,979 --> 00:58:48,691
in the 34th annual
International Sex Games.
588
00:58:48,858 --> 00:58:53,358
You are now looking at the West German
team, Kurt Stem, Kristina Bush.
589
00:58:53,904 --> 00:58:58,325
They will be performing the final and
most important event in the competition,
590
00:58:58,409 --> 00:59:02,909
the freestyle for which they will have
selected their own music, of course,
591
00:59:02,997 --> 00:59:05,040
and in which they must gather
another 19 points
592
00:59:05,124 --> 00:59:09,128
in order to retain
their current world championship
593
00:59:09,253 --> 00:59:12,798
against what turned out to be an
aggressive challenge from the Canadians.
594
00:59:12,923 --> 00:59:15,508
- Right, Manuel Rodriguez?
- That's right, Bob. In fact,
595
00:59:15,593 --> 00:59:19,305
I've not seen such fierce
competition since the 1958 games
596
00:59:19,513 --> 00:59:22,891
in which I had the pleasure to compete
against the very impressive Austrian team.
597
00:59:23,017 --> 00:59:24,893
Oh, yes. I remember that very well,
598
00:59:24,977 --> 00:59:27,729
and didn't you have a sprained ligament
throughout the competition?
599
00:59:27,855 --> 00:59:30,232
- Yes, that's true.
- It was truly magnificent.
600
00:59:30,357 --> 00:59:33,860
Now, what should we expect from the
West Germans in this final round?
601
00:59:33,986 --> 00:59:35,362
Well, this team, of course,
has been practicing
602
00:59:35,446 --> 00:59:38,449
six hours a day
for over a year and a half,
603
00:59:38,741 --> 00:59:40,743
their music is carefully chosen
604
00:59:40,826 --> 00:59:43,870
for it's appropriateness to each stage
of the action,
605
00:59:44,580 --> 00:59:49,080
Kurt Stem, who as you can see,
is built like a champion,
606
00:59:49,293 --> 00:59:53,793
is an exciting competitor, a marvelous
technician, graceful, has good contact,
607
00:59:54,173 --> 00:59:56,800
he's inventive, he has achieved
a wide reputation,
608
00:59:56,884 --> 00:59:59,344
even though he's only
24 years old.
609
00:59:59,428 --> 01:00:02,848
Kristina Bush is noted for her
coordination, her timing, expression,
610
01:00:02,932 --> 01:00:07,269
she's a stickler for detail, and,
incidentally, a favorite of the judges.
611
01:00:07,561 --> 01:00:12,061
So it should be a very exciting session
here, in this competition, right Manuel?
612
01:00:12,900 --> 01:00:15,694
I should certainly say so,
very exciting indeed,
613
01:00:15,778 --> 01:00:18,280
I am looking forward to it very much.
614
01:00:18,364 --> 01:00:22,659
And now the judges have indicated that
the competition is about to begin...
615
01:00:22,993 --> 01:00:27,414
the spectators are now waiting,
in this tense atmosphere,
616
01:00:27,790 --> 01:00:31,084
uh, for the championship
to get underway.
617
01:00:40,136 --> 01:00:44,636
And now the music has begun, and we
begin with a classical frontal embrace,
618
01:00:45,266 --> 01:00:48,185
which is favored
by most European teams,
619
01:00:48,269 --> 01:00:51,772
uh, has excellent foundation
for subsequent development.
620
01:00:52,106 --> 01:00:54,608
Notice the beautiful vining
of the arms,
621
01:00:54,692 --> 01:00:59,113
the relative position of the thighs,
the angle of the feet,
622
01:00:59,613 --> 01:01:02,407
this is a very subtle exposition.
623
01:01:07,872 --> 01:01:11,292
Now, Kurt Stem is bringing
his left hand into play.
624
01:01:11,834 --> 01:01:13,168
Stem, of course, is the...
625
01:01:13,252 --> 01:01:15,963
one of the leading
exponents of hand technique.
626
01:01:16,046 --> 01:01:18,465
An example here of economy
in movement,
627
01:01:18,549 --> 01:01:22,094
slightly bent, though we're in the
early stages, but... very smooth.
628
01:01:22,595 --> 01:01:27,095
Oh, now we see a sweep, a false pass,
a curl and... a probe!
629
01:01:28,475 --> 01:01:30,351
- A beautiful combination! Beautiful.
- A beautiful probe!
630
01:01:30,436 --> 01:01:32,688
Let's have an instant replay
of that so we can look at it again.
631
01:01:33,272 --> 01:01:34,856
{\an8}We have the sweep...
632
01:01:34,940 --> 01:01:39,361
{\an8}the sweep, the curl, and a
lovely... it's, he's going to...
633
01:01:41,030 --> 01:01:45,117
{\an8}this is the curl, and a lovely probe.
A lovely probe!
634
01:01:45,451 --> 01:01:47,744
Beautiful move on Stem's part here.
635
01:01:47,870 --> 01:01:49,246
Now we're back to live action.
636
01:01:49,538 --> 01:01:54,038
Kristina Bush is now rotating into
a more open position, as you can see.
637
01:01:54,960 --> 01:01:57,837
Stem is continuing to probe
with that left hand.
638
01:01:58,088 --> 01:02:01,800
Now the probing is deeper, much
more profound. It's very decisive.
639
01:02:01,926 --> 01:02:05,137
Now it's open-handed, and the tempo
is really picking up here.
640
01:02:06,972 --> 01:02:11,472
Now Stem continuing with heavy probing,
assumes a half-articulated crouch
641
01:02:12,519 --> 01:02:16,231
and is now moving into selective
tonguing of the breasts.
642
01:02:16,899 --> 01:02:19,568
He moves to the left, to the right,
643
01:02:19,652 --> 01:02:23,656
and now down, in a vertical drop,
to the center torso.
644
01:02:23,948 --> 01:02:28,448
Yes, Bob, now Kristina is really
coming into play for the first time.
645
01:02:28,786 --> 01:02:32,748
Notice the winged arms,
the beauty of her expression
646
01:02:32,831 --> 01:02:36,459
in response to the music and
Stem's fluted tongue work.
647
01:02:36,543 --> 01:02:40,255
Manuel, I believe Kurt is now
clipping with his teeth and lips.
648
01:02:40,381 --> 01:02:44,881
That's right, Bob, and we can now expect
Stem's hallmark, the frontal tripod.
649
01:02:45,344 --> 01:02:48,263
A tripod... and now a vertical return
650
01:02:48,347 --> 01:02:51,892
with French grazing along
Kristina's undulating torso.
651
01:02:51,976 --> 01:02:56,230
Bob, they're doing very well up to this
point. A nearly flawless performance.
652
01:02:56,313 --> 01:02:58,732
- And now, we are at insertion.
- Yes, we are.
653
01:02:59,483 --> 01:03:03,153
And the West Germans have chosen
the Hamilton Insertion...
654
01:03:05,698 --> 01:03:08,659
but there seems to be some
slight delay here, Manuel.
655
01:03:08,742 --> 01:03:13,242
Yes, a little unsteady. It may cost them
half a point. Not a serious fault.
656
01:03:16,041 --> 01:03:19,961
Okay, insertion is now complete.
What fantastic coordination
657
01:03:20,045 --> 01:03:21,379
between music and body rhythm,
658
01:03:21,463 --> 01:03:23,006
and look at that closeup, Manuel!
659
01:03:23,090 --> 01:03:25,509
Yes, Bob, this will give our
viewers an excellent view
660
01:03:25,592 --> 01:03:28,928
of the depth of penetration
the West Germans are noted for.
661
01:03:29,054 --> 01:03:33,554
As you see, the strokes are long,
controlled, and very, very even.
662
01:03:34,018 --> 01:03:36,603
And right here I must make
mention of the crew and facilities
663
01:03:36,687 --> 01:03:39,773
provided by KTVD here,
and for their great work.
664
01:03:39,857 --> 01:03:42,442
Bob, they are now
moving into the final sprint.
665
01:03:42,526 --> 01:03:46,238
As you can see, this is
true championship action.
666
01:03:46,947 --> 01:03:50,367
Yes, it is, and there is a thrust,
Manuel! A double thrust,
667
01:03:50,451 --> 01:03:54,951
a rotary combination, a series
of short jabs, a lift, a plunge!
668
01:03:58,208 --> 01:04:02,708
Another lift, another plunge!
And now, I think... Yes!
669
01:04:05,758 --> 01:04:07,342
Oh, just fantastic, Manuel!
670
01:04:07,426 --> 01:04:10,429
I have never seen
anything like it, Bob.
671
01:04:10,554 --> 01:04:13,223
Now let's wait
for the scoring from the judges...
672
01:04:18,354 --> 01:04:21,899
Look at that, Manuel!
A nine. Another nine.
673
01:04:22,149 --> 01:04:26,649
Two eights. An eight-five.
And a nine!
674
01:04:26,862 --> 01:04:29,072
Bob, this was an example of...
675
01:07:15,280 --> 01:07:18,449
And now, a message from your
Department of Health...
676
01:07:19,785 --> 01:07:22,162
Hello! My name is
Safety Sam.
677
01:07:22,246 --> 01:07:23,538
And I'm here to spread the word
678
01:07:23,622 --> 01:07:26,249
about a health problem
of great importance to us all.
679
01:07:26,333 --> 01:07:29,377
Did you know that VD,
Venereal Disease,
680
01:07:29,461 --> 01:07:32,255
has reached epidemic proportions
in our city?
681
01:07:32,339 --> 01:07:34,466
Well, you should know the
facts about this public menace
682
01:07:34,633 --> 01:07:37,802
in order to protect yourself
and those you love.
683
01:07:38,345 --> 01:07:41,514
Venereal diseases, syphilis
and gonorrhea, are diseases
684
01:07:41,598 --> 01:07:44,559
transmitted only through
intimate physical contact.
685
01:07:44,851 --> 01:07:48,521
They are both extremely
dangerous and, left untreated,
686
01:07:48,605 --> 01:07:52,483
result in blindness, heart trouble,
insanity, and death!
687
01:07:52,776 --> 01:07:55,695
Here are some of the early
warning signs to watch out for:
688
01:07:55,779 --> 01:08:00,279
If you are a man, and experience a burning
sensation or itching when you urinate,
689
01:08:01,201 --> 01:08:03,286
you may have gonorrhea.
690
01:08:03,370 --> 01:08:07,540
If you are a man or a woman, and
discover a chancre on your privates,
691
01:08:07,666 --> 01:08:09,793
you may have syphilis.
692
01:08:09,876 --> 01:08:14,376
If spotted in time, a doctor can cure
you of a venereal disease infection.
693
01:08:14,756 --> 01:08:19,051
But, once cured, you have no
insurance against re-contamination.
694
01:08:19,344 --> 01:08:20,595
For more information,
695
01:08:20,679 --> 01:08:24,224
write or call the Department of Health
office in your community.
696
01:08:24,308 --> 01:08:28,353
Remember, the war against
venereal disease is your war!
697
01:08:28,478 --> 01:08:32,064
Therefore, observe the
Golden Rule of good health,
698
01:08:32,441 --> 01:08:36,941
A bird in the hand is better
than one in the bush. Thank you.
57250
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