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1
00:00:54,534 --> 00:00:56,391
Oh God, it’s curry!
2
00:00:59,088 --> 00:01:03,627
Oh you finally decided to get up, did you?
You still a vegetarian?
3
00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:08,787
Pity they didn't make booze out of animals,
then maybe you wouldn't get a hangover!
4
00:01:11,061 --> 00:01:12,328
Where is everyone?
5
00:01:12,609 --> 00:01:17,004
Well, Raquel's still in bed,
Del went a work about 6 o’clock this morning.
6
00:01:17,170 --> 00:01:19,451
But it's Sunday!
Don't he ever have a day off?
7
00:01:19,641 --> 00:01:25,000
He's a yuppy, ain't he?
As he said, 'The business world never sleeps.'
8
00:01:25,601 --> 00:01:28,774
New York stock
exchange closes, Tokyo opens.
9
00:01:28,809 --> 00:01:33,797
- Del's gotta keep his finger on the pulse.
- Teriffic. So, where's he gone?
10
00:01:33,832 --> 00:01:35,722
Petticoat Lane.
11
00:01:37,611 --> 00:01:39,935
He's got to pick some gear up for a mate.
12
00:01:40,616 --> 00:01:45,419
You any happier? You looked very
depressed when you come in last night.
13
00:01:45,590 --> 00:01:48,609
That may have something to do
with the fact that my marriage is in tatters
14
00:01:48,644 --> 00:01:50,335
and I've lost the best job I've ever had.
15
00:01:50,370 --> 00:01:54,676
- But you're working for Del Boy now, ain’t ya?
- Exactly! Wouldn't you be depressed?
16
00:01:54,711 --> 00:01:58,418
If I'd stayed with Cassandra's dad,
I'd have been running that firm within a couple of years.
17
00:01:59,625 --> 00:02:04,658
Well, one day Del’s gonna retire
and Trotters Independent Traders will be all yours.
18
00:02:04,693 --> 00:02:08,192
I know! Bloody hell!
19
00:02:09,019 --> 00:02:13,240
I wish there was something - anything –
on the horizon that could raise my spirits.
20
00:02:13,879 --> 00:02:16,664
Del and Raquel's
baby is gonna be born soon!
21
00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:18,976
Oh God, I’d forgotten about that.
22
00:02:19,496 --> 00:02:21,461
But that's a reason for
celebration, innit?
23
00:02:21,856 --> 00:02:27,214
For you and Del and Raquel, maybe.
But what about me? What chance am I gonna have?
24
00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:33,993
Do you realize, by the time I'm 45 Son of Del will be 16.
And that will be it. I can hear him now.
25
00:02:34,176 --> 00:02:39,564
"I've got a good idea, Uncle Rodney. I'll go and buy
a load of old crap and you can go out and sell it for me.
26
00:02:42,068 --> 00:02:45,946
‘Cause, you see, that way, Uncle Rodney,
I'll have lots of money and wide-awake suits
27
00:02:45,981 --> 00:02:48,392
and you won't have a pot to piss in."
28
00:02:50,580 --> 00:02:53,376
And the really frightening thing is,
I’m gonna fall for it.
29
00:02:54,241 --> 00:02:56,831
That's stupid. It might not be a boy.
30
00:02:57,037 --> 00:03:02,640
No, it is a boy.
Rosemary's Baby was on the telly the other night.
31
00:03:02,843 --> 00:03:04,750
It's Del and Raquel to a tee.
32
00:03:05,202 --> 00:03:10,869
In a couple of weeks'time we'll be awoken by
the cries of our own bonny, bouncing antichrist.
33
00:03:12,181 --> 00:03:14,447
They're bound to call him Damien, you know.
34
00:03:15,633 --> 00:03:17,893
They were thinking of calling it Rodney.
35
00:03:18,346 --> 00:03:22,501
Rodney! Poor little sod.
36
00:03:23,183 --> 00:03:25,023
- Morning.
- Morning.
37
00:03:25,058 --> 00:03:28,517
Hello, love. Del's not back yet.
D’you fancy a cup of tea?
38
00:03:28,552 --> 00:03:30,205
Please, Albert.
39
00:03:30,492 --> 00:03:36,146
Sorry, I feel exhausted.
He was moving around all night long.
40
00:03:36,181 --> 00:03:38,980
He's always the same after a curry...
41
00:03:40,928 --> 00:03:42,911
The baby! Sorry.
42
00:03:47,889 --> 00:03:51,149
The old creature from the
black lagoon has risen from its pit.
43
00:03:51,184 --> 00:03:54,986
Del, that's no way to talk to
the mother of your child.
44
00:03:55,021 --> 00:03:57,600
- Watch it, Rodney. You alright, sweetheart?
- Yeah, I'm OK.
45
00:03:57,635 --> 00:04:00,018
- Guess what I've got here.
- No, go on.
46
00:04:02,298 --> 00:04:03,984
Wigs!
47
00:04:05,859 --> 00:04:10,328
You know that Mustapha
from the Bangladeshi butcher's down the road?
48
00:04:10,529 --> 00:04:15,038
Well, his nephew works in a top London
West End wig-makers.
49
00:04:15,262 --> 00:04:25,044
According to him they do all the top stars:
Jane Fonda, Sophia Loren, Anita Dobson, the lot.
50
00:04:25,343 --> 00:04:29,480
And he gets these wigs at 25 per cent
of the retail price.
51
00:04:29,515 --> 00:04:33,508
- 25 per cent of the retail price?
- It's a concession to employees.
52
00:04:33,679 --> 00:04:35,129
And I sold them all!
53
00:04:35,352 --> 00:04:38,841
All the old tarts down the Nag's Head
have been waiting weeks for these to come in.
54
00:04:39,898 --> 00:04:45,163
- I went in and dated with advance orders.
- So you're back, Del. Fancy a bit of breakfast?
55
00:04:45,881 --> 00:04:50,556
Yeah, make me a non vegetarian
bacon sandwich, will you Albert?
56
00:04:51,435 --> 00:04:56,999
What are you doing today then, Rodney?
A Greenpeace rally, releasing a few nut cutlets?
57
00:04:59,419 --> 00:05:02,841
Del, just because I have become concerned
about the welfare of our planet
58
00:05:02,876 --> 00:05:04,994
there’s no need to take the rise out of me.
59
00:05:05,029 --> 00:05:08,277
Yes, but ever since you become a vegetarian
you've become a right miserable git.
60
00:05:08,753 --> 00:05:11,080
There's nothing wrong with being vegetarian, Del.
61
00:05:11,115 --> 00:05:15,223
No, that's right! One in five people
in this country now refuse to eat meat.
62
00:05:15,419 --> 00:05:17,380
Mickey Pearce is a vegetarian.
63
00:05:17,622 --> 00:05:20,619
It’s only ‘cause he got the sack
from the World of Leather.
64
00:05:23,353 --> 00:05:29,417
A bloke needs a bit of stodge and fat to solid things up.
Any doctor'll tell you that.
65
00:05:29,452 --> 00:05:33,603
All these carrots and cabbage cobblers,
no wonder you're so depressed.
66
00:05:33,638 --> 00:05:37,129
You've gotta pick yourself up and look around
at all the things you've got in life.
67
00:05:37,164 --> 00:05:42,486
You name me one thing that I - not you - me,
Rodney Trotter, has got to look forward to?
68
00:05:42,692 --> 00:05:45,381
You're taking Cassandra to
Hampton Court this afternoon.
69
00:05:45,416 --> 00:05:53,305
Oh cosmic! A castle and a maze. I just love looking
at old suits of armour and then getting lost.
70
00:05:54,066 --> 00:05:56,232
Shut up, you miserable little tart.
71
00:05:56,267 --> 00:05:59,478
I am depressed because
of the state of my life at the moment.
72
00:05:59,656 --> 00:06:03,094
I got this horrible feeling that if there is
such a thing as reincarnation,
73
00:06:03,129 --> 00:06:06,099
knowing my luck,
I’ll come back as me!
74
00:06:15,432 --> 00:06:19,202
Trigger. See if you can find out
what they're naming the baby, will you?
75
00:06:19,237 --> 00:06:20,399
Why?
76
00:06:21,085 --> 00:06:24,045
Because I'm not allowed
to go in for my own competition, that’s why.
77
00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:27,406
But I'll let you enter and then we go half
on the winnings.
78
00:06:27,441 --> 00:06:29,471
Leave it to me, Mike.
79
00:06:33,273 --> 00:06:38,548
- Alright, Dave?
- Alright, Trig?
80
00:06:39,171 --> 00:06:41,339
Have they thought a name
for the baby yet?
81
00:06:41,808 --> 00:06:46,902
Well, if it's a girl Del wants to call it Sigourney,
after the actress Sigourney Weaver.
82
00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:51,624
- And what if it's a boy?
- If it’s a boy, he wants to call it Rodney.
83
00:06:52,377 --> 00:06:55,598
Yeah? Who after?
84
00:07:00,938 --> 00:07:03,020
After me, Trig.
85
00:07:11,209 --> 00:07:12,854
- Alright, Del?
- Alright Trig?
86
00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:20,279
Alright girls? Got them wigs you ordered.
Albert's bringing them in from the van.
87
00:07:20,849 --> 00:07:22,776
- So?
- What?
88
00:07:23,801 --> 00:07:25,914
What name have they decided on?
89
00:07:26,362 --> 00:07:30,401
If it's a girl they're calling
her Sigourney after an actress,
90
00:07:30,652 --> 00:07:35,976
and if it's a boy they're naming him
Rodney after Dave.
91
00:07:38,074 --> 00:07:39,515
Brilliant, Trig!
92
00:07:39,715 --> 00:07:44,798
Albert, come here. Just put that box down there
next to Rodney for a minute, will ya?
93
00:07:45,843 --> 00:07:50,251
- So how'd your day out with Cassandra go?
- Don't ask, alright? Just do not ask.
94
00:07:50,582 --> 00:07:52,017
Why, what happened?
95
00:07:52,812 --> 00:07:57,730
Alright, I'll tell you.
Cassandra told me it's all over between us.
96
00:07:58,506 --> 00:08:02,877
Me and Cassandra are no longer an item.
Me and Cassandra are no more.
97
00:08:03,055 --> 00:08:05,394
Me and Cassandra are finito.
98
00:08:06,248 --> 00:08:09,933
- I just don't understand her any more.
- I know the feeling, son.
99
00:08:10,830 --> 00:08:14,914
When you and Cassandra first met,
what was the big attraction?
100
00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:18,773
I don’t know. Lust, I suppose.
101
00:08:19,701 --> 00:08:25,435
- Yeah, she struck me as that sort.
- I was talking about me.
102
00:08:26,550 --> 00:08:29,749
I know you were. I was just trying
to have a little joke with you.
103
00:08:29,784 --> 00:08:31,756
Well, I ain't in a joking mood.
104
00:08:32,114 --> 00:08:35,664
- Alright, Rodney? How’d get on at Hampton Court?
- I don't wanna talk about it.
105
00:08:35,699 --> 00:08:38,697
- Why, what happened?
- Cassandra gave him the elbow in the maze.
106
00:08:38,732 --> 00:08:40,609
Oh, that sounds painful.
107
00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:46,788
Come on, cheer up Rodney.
There’s plenty more fish in the sea, ain’t there?
108
00:08:46,823 --> 00:08:50,325
It's not as simple as that, Del.
That girl left a mark on me.
109
00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:52,448
So did your smallpox jab.
110
00:08:52,887 --> 00:08:56,651
This is none of my business, Rodney,
and you can tell me to keep my nose out if you like.
111
00:08:56,686 --> 00:08:58,385
Keep your nose out, Mike.
112
00:08:58,420 --> 00:09:01,684
I was married once mate, I know what it’s like.
I know what you're going through, mate.
113
00:09:01,719 --> 00:09:05,394
You listen to the man, Rodney.
His wife chucked him in years ago.
114
00:09:05,429 --> 00:09:09,309
You don't want to take too much notice of things
that are said in the heat of the argument.
115
00:09:09,802 --> 00:09:12,531
She said Irefused to adapt to married life.
116
00:09:12,566 --> 00:09:15,950
Said I wanted to carry on doing
the same things that I'd always done.
117
00:09:16,167 --> 00:09:17,322
What did you say to that?
118
00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:20,867
I said, "I don't want to discuss it Cassandra.
I'm going down the Nag's Head."
119
00:09:22,075 --> 00:09:28,327
I remember me and my missus.
I had 18 blissfully happy years, then I met her.
120
00:09:31,859 --> 00:09:34,321
D'you find your way out
of the maze alright, Dave?
121
00:09:38,717 --> 00:09:41,105
No, I'm still in there, Trig.
122
00:09:42,796 --> 00:09:47,227
- I couldn't find my way out of there once.
- You couldn’t find your way in there once.
123
00:09:47,986 --> 00:09:50,541
I was with this bird.
We had a right row.
124
00:09:50,860 --> 00:09:54,342
She wanted to go to the left
and I wanted to go to the right...
125
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:59,709
No, I tell a lie... She wanted to go to the right
and I wanted to go to the...
126
00:09:59,744 --> 00:10:03,583
Trigger! Me and Cassandra
are intelligent people
127
00:10:03,618 --> 00:10:07,070
and we do not have rows
about which is the quickest way out of a maze.
128
00:10:08,444 --> 00:10:11,172
God, I've never felt so
depressed in all me life.
129
00:10:11,207 --> 00:10:15,863
- Come on, Rodney, don’t be like that.
- I just wanna be left alone.
130
00:10:15,898 --> 00:10:18,670
Now, Rodney, sit down.
That is the worst thing you can do.
131
00:10:19,722 --> 00:10:22,752
Moments like this you need
people round you.
132
00:10:22,945 --> 00:10:25,915
But they just say stupid
things about lust and mazes.
133
00:10:26,222 --> 00:10:28,507
Never give up on people, Rodney.
134
00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:31,679
I know that sometimes
they don't seem to understand.
135
00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:35,933
But when you're in trouble and
you cry out for help, that’s what is important.
136
00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:41,916
You take Trigger's cousin Cyril.
He owed 500 quid on his mortgage.
137
00:10:42,877 --> 00:10:47,205
They was gonna be thrown out on the street
the following day. He was very worried about it.
138
00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:48,696
What happened then, Trig?
139
00:10:48,917 --> 00:10:53,541
He drove out to Beachy Head.
He parked about 5 foot from the edge of the cliff.
140
00:10:53,942 --> 00:10:55,992
What, he was gonna drive off it?
141
00:10:56,027 --> 00:11:01,009
Yeah! He just sat there for 2 hours,
his head resting on the steering wheel.
142
00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:05,171
People tried to talk him out of it,
but he was too depressed to listen.
143
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:08,598
And this is the thing Rodney,
this is what I mean about people,
144
00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:13,773
‘Cause those people there, they had a whip-round
and they got him his 500 quid.
145
00:11:14,321 --> 00:11:20,085
- No! Who held the whip-round?
- All the passengers on his bus.
146
00:11:26,421 --> 00:11:31,209
You see Rodney, there’s always something to look forward to.
You just gotta be patient, bruv, that’s all.
147
00:11:31,244 --> 00:11:36,322
In the meantime, see if you can flog some of them syrups.
Mike, do us a chip sandwich, will ya?
148
00:11:36,711 --> 00:11:38,341
- D’you want sauce on it, Del?
- Yes, please.
149
00:11:38,376 --> 00:11:40,634
- Brown or red?
- Yeah, both.
150
00:11:42,631 --> 00:11:51,043
Del, these wigs. Did your contract say anything
about the Jean Shrimpton style or the urchin look?
151
00:11:51,078 --> 00:11:53,565
No. Just said they're wigs, that was all.
Why?
152
00:11:58,569 --> 00:12:01,311
You were right, Del.
He's cheered up already.
153
00:12:06,629 --> 00:12:11,364
- What are you laughing at?
- I don’t know!
154
00:12:18,553 --> 00:12:20,412
Hurry up Mustapha!
155
00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:24,473
- You'll still be able to sell 'em, Del.
- How?
156
00:12:24,508 --> 00:12:27,345
I don't know,
He who dares, wins?
157
00:12:32,134 --> 00:12:34,175
Don't give me all that old pony.
158
00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:36,199
Hello, is that the mosque?
159
00:12:37,613 --> 00:12:40,177
I don't believe it.
He's phoned a mosque.
160
00:12:40,350 --> 00:12:43,514
I wanna speak to Mustapha
about them syrups he flogged me...
161
00:12:44,883 --> 00:12:50,148
Is he? Well, you better tell him, when he's
finished praying, he better go in for another one,
162
00:12:51,153 --> 00:12:54,371
‘cause when I get hold of him he's gonna need
all the help he can get.
163
00:12:56,276 --> 00:13:02,630
I was gonna flog him all those hooky Cat Stevens' LPs.
He can forget all that, I tell ya!
164
00:13:03,218 --> 00:13:07,409
- What's all the shouting?
- Del’s had a bit of trouble with them wigs he bought.
165
00:13:07,444 --> 00:13:11,398
- What sort of trouble?
- They're blokes' wigs.
166
00:13:11,947 --> 00:13:13,260
Blokes?
167
00:13:13,295 --> 00:13:18,300
Yes! They’re men's syrups.
This is not funny, Rodney.
168
00:13:18,449 --> 00:13:21,573
Alright, Del, alright...
Keep your hair on.
169
00:13:24,135 --> 00:13:29,127
Don't you start, sweetheart.
How are we gonna get rid of these things?
170
00:13:29,275 --> 00:13:32,340
There's a lot of bald blokes come out
of that building in Arnold Road.
171
00:13:32,594 --> 00:13:36,169
That's a Hare Krishna temple.
172
00:13:38,036 --> 00:13:42,570
Look at this stuff! Look here!
We've even got men's ponytails here.
173
00:13:45,523 --> 00:13:49,078
I'll handle this the telephone sales campaign
174
00:13:49,113 --> 00:13:52,431
and you will go down the pubs
and see if you can flog a few there.
175
00:13:52,466 --> 00:13:53,939
In the p...?
176
00:13:54,189 --> 00:13:56,529
How am I supposed to go up
to a bald bloke in a pub
177
00:13:56,564 --> 00:13:59,783
and say d'you wanna buy a wig?
I'll get me face smashed in.
178
00:14:00,867 --> 00:14:04,373
Either improve your sales technique,
or learn to duck.
179
00:14:05,334 --> 00:14:12,402
Hello, Gordon? It’s Del Boy.
How’s it going, pal? Cushty.
180
00:14:13,082 --> 00:14:15,893
Listen, Gordon, are you still bald?
181
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:21,786
The oil has now spread over nearly 10,000
square miles of water
182
00:14:21,821 --> 00:14:24,497
and polluted over 700 miles
of shore.
183
00:14:24,790 --> 00:14:29,425
The estimated hundreds of thousands
of bird casualties include bald eagles like this one…
184
00:14:29,460 --> 00:14:31,053
It's disgusting, innit?
185
00:14:31,088 --> 00:14:35,441
Yeah. They shouldn't put things on about
dead animals when you're about to have your supper.
186
00:14:37,234 --> 00:14:40,563
I wasn’t talking about the
timing of the bloody programme.
187
00:14:40,726 --> 00:14:43,918
I was talking about the damage that
we have done to our planet.
188
00:14:43,953 --> 00:14:46,715
I mean, what are we are gonna leave
for the future generations?
189
00:14:46,893 --> 00:14:50,892
For the little kiddies in the infants schools,
for the unborn millions?
190
00:14:50,927 --> 00:14:53,046
Like Del's and Raquel's nipper?
191
00:14:53,396 --> 00:14:59,281
No, I wasn't actually thinking of him.
Kids with three sixes on their heads don't count, do they?
192
00:15:00,927 --> 00:15:04,002
Alright Del? There's a
fresh pot of tea on the table.
193
00:15:04,037 --> 00:15:09,213
Cheers, Unc. I'll get meself a cup.
I've just been down to Raquel’s antenatal classes.
194
00:15:10,976 --> 00:15:13,187
Full of pregnant women it was.
195
00:15:15,029 --> 00:15:17,623
Everywhere you turned
there was lumps and things.
196
00:15:17,906 --> 00:15:19,557
Why d'you have to go down there?
197
00:15:19,592 --> 00:15:22,358
It's to get us ready for when we go into labour.
198
00:15:23,119 --> 00:15:26,030
Showed us films on how it all happens.
199
00:15:27,057 --> 00:15:29,500
You've already got some of
them in there.
200
00:15:35,922 --> 00:15:41,594
Not those sort of films.
Films about the birth and that.
201
00:15:42,398 --> 00:15:50,536
It’s a miracle, it is. It’s a 42-carat miracle.
Made some of the blokes feel quite ill.
202
00:15:51,254 --> 00:15:54,521
I was alright, ‘cause I used to run
a jellied eel stall.
203
00:15:59,461 --> 00:16:02,967
So what have you gotta do,
you know, when it happens?
204
00:16:03,214 --> 00:16:05,220
Basically, I’ve gotta keep on me toes.
205
00:16:05,563 --> 00:16:07,662
Make sure the old Capri Ghia
is running smoothly
206
00:16:07,697 --> 00:16:11,339
so I can whip Raquel
down to maternity unit a bit lively.
207
00:16:12,277 --> 00:16:15,572
But the most important thing a father
can do for the woman,
208
00:16:16,315 --> 00:16:24,452
is to show consideration and understanding,
patience and love.
209
00:16:25,701 --> 00:16:29,938
Well, as luck would have it,
I happen to be like that anyway.
210
00:16:30,831 --> 00:16:33,157
But it doesn’t do any harm to be reminded.
211
00:16:33,789 --> 00:16:35,438
So where is Raquel?
212
00:16:35,473 --> 00:16:39,505
Well, the lifts are broken again
and she’s not as lively on her feet as she used to be.
213
00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:47,728
So, how many of those wigs
you sold this week, Rodney?
214
00:16:47,763 --> 00:16:49,976
Roughly, none.
215
00:16:50,816 --> 00:16:53,958
- Well, I sold two tonight.
- You're kidding!
216
00:16:53,993 --> 00:16:58,615
I met this woman down the market.
Her and her husband they work up in the hospital.
217
00:16:58,650 --> 00:17:03,850
Apparently, he's been wearing a syrup for years,
but last week their cat got hold of it.
218
00:17:04,693 --> 00:17:08,266
So she bought one as a surprise for him…
219
00:17:08,301 --> 00:17:12,674
and then I went off to the Nag's Head
and sold one to Trigger.
220
00:17:16,304 --> 00:17:17,943
But he's got hair.
221
00:17:17,978 --> 00:17:21,278
I know that, but he said he wanted one
for an emergency.
222
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:26,820
There you are, sweetheart. There you are.
Come on. Sit yourself down.
223
00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:30,964
- No, I'll go and change out of these first.
- Alright, I'll get you a cup of tea.
224
00:17:34,088 --> 00:17:38,369
- So how did the antenatal class go ?
- It's the last time I take him along.
225
00:17:38,805 --> 00:17:41,856
At the end of the class the doctor
asked if there were any questions.
226
00:17:42,245 --> 00:17:46,443
Del put his hand up and said,
"What time do the pubs close round here?"
227
00:17:47,229 --> 00:17:52,114
That's typical Del.
The world's dying and he's worried about last orders.
228
00:17:52,651 --> 00:17:55,919
- What's up, Rodney?
- He's been watching a green programme.
229
00:17:55,954 --> 00:18:01,090
- They were cutting a few trees down in South America.
- So Sting here's got the hump, has he?
230
00:18:01,312 --> 00:18:06,673
When are people gonna realise
that we don't own this planet, we're merely the leaseholders.
231
00:18:07,053 --> 00:18:11,349
It's our duty to maintain our world.
But what are we doing?
232
00:18:11,634 --> 00:18:14,864
We're suffocating the forests with carbon monoxide!
233
00:18:14,899 --> 00:18:19,432
And that's causing the polar icecap to melt,
which means that the oceans will rise
234
00:18:19,467 --> 00:18:22,246
and the Thames will flood, like permanently.
235
00:18:22,281 --> 00:18:24,361
But we've got the Thames barrier.
236
00:18:24,580 --> 00:18:27,775
That’s not gonna do a lot of good
under 15 feet of water, is it?
237
00:18:27,810 --> 00:18:31,550
I mean, places like Deptford and Greenwich
will be submerged for ever!
238
00:18:31,962 --> 00:18:36,132
- That’ll be handy for us though, innit?
- What do you mean?
239
00:18:36,167 --> 00:18:40,530
Because, when we come to sell this flat
we can advertise it as having sea views!
240
00:18:41,433 --> 00:18:43,972
What a ridiculous thing to say.
241
00:18:44,830 --> 00:18:49,516
Alright, Rodney, what is it?
What's really bothering you?
242
00:18:50,597 --> 00:18:53,175
I've got so many things
worrying me.
243
00:18:55,126 --> 00:19:00,495
The polar cap is melting, the continental
shelves are shifting, the rainforest is dying,
244
00:19:00,530 --> 00:19:02,859
the sea is being poisoned
245
00:19:03,484 --> 00:19:05,760
and I ain't had a bit for months.
246
00:19:10,949 --> 00:19:13,709
That is what's really about, innit?
247
00:19:15,088 --> 00:19:17,885
You ought to think about that poor old git, there.
248
00:19:21,784 --> 00:19:25,864
The last time he had his leg over,
Nelson Mandela was in a borstal!
249
00:19:29,315 --> 00:19:34,423
Derek, please, for once in your life
could you try and take something seriously?
250
00:19:36,838 --> 00:19:40,541
- What's wrong?
- Rodney ain't had a bit for months.
251
00:19:49,697 --> 00:19:51,779
Cor blimey. The things you learn.
252
00:19:52,067 --> 00:19:58,585
Do you realise if all my veins and arteries were
stretched out in a line they’d circle the world twice?
253
00:20:01,361 --> 00:20:03,417
I'd like to try that one day.
254
00:20:05,888 --> 00:20:10,297
- Where's Raquel?
- She had a bit of a twinge, so she's lying down.
255
00:20:12,408 --> 00:20:15,450
- Alright?
- Better than that, Rodney.
256
00:20:15,849 --> 00:20:20,090
I reckon we've had a right result with these syrups.
Guess who I bumped into today?
257
00:20:20,353 --> 00:20:22,077
Telly Savalas?
258
00:20:23,210 --> 00:20:29,410
No. I bumped into that mush Stephen,
the one that used to be Cassandra's boss at the bank.
259
00:20:29,445 --> 00:20:32,141
- The one that you smacked on the nose.
- Oh him!
260
00:20:32,176 --> 00:20:36,698
Yeah, him. Anyway, I bumped into him
down the market today and you'll never guess what.
261
00:20:36,733 --> 00:20:41,198
He's got one of 'em ponytails in his hair
and I said to him,
262
00:20:41,610 --> 00:20:43,289
“Oi, Elmet”, I said,
263
00:20:43,783 --> 00:20:48,491
"What are you doing with that Davy Crockett hat on?"
just to break the ice.
264
00:20:48,811 --> 00:20:53,640
Apparently they're all the fashion up in the City!
All the yuppies are wearing them.
265
00:20:53,675 --> 00:20:55,261
But they look silly on men.
266
00:20:55,296 --> 00:20:59,709
Today the sophisticated, intelligent young men
don't mind making prats of themselves.
267
00:21:00,308 --> 00:21:03,823
‘Cause it attracts the sophisticated,
intelligent young ladies.
268
00:21:03,858 --> 00:21:07,606
- I can't see what the attraction is.
- That’s because you're a geezer, innit?
269
00:21:07,641 --> 00:21:10,872
But if you were a career woman you'd get
the hots for those things.
270
00:21:11,753 --> 00:21:13,705
And it don't need batteries.
271
00:21:15,711 --> 00:21:17,719
Now we'll make a fortune on them, Rodders.
272
00:21:18,175 --> 00:21:20,939
- Hello darling, you alright?
- Yeah, I'm OK now.
273
00:21:21,592 --> 00:21:23,750
- What d'you think of Aaron?
- Sorry?
274
00:21:23,948 --> 00:21:27,601
I've been reading the baby's name book.
Aaron Trotter.
275
00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:32,754
No, kids at school'll nickname him G-string.
Aarona G-string. D'you get it?
276
00:21:34,014 --> 00:21:35,522
Yes, unfortunately.
277
00:21:35,764 --> 00:21:38,237
- You gone off the name Rodney?
- Yeah.
278
00:21:38,638 --> 00:21:40,045
Thank God!
279
00:21:41,017 --> 00:21:47,490
- Troy.
- Troy Trotter! I don't think so.
280
00:21:48,181 --> 00:21:50,799
Why don't you just call him Damien, eh?
281
00:21:51,799 --> 00:21:53,468
Damien?
282
00:21:53,990 --> 00:21:58,495
- That's nice.
- No, I was joking, that’s all !
283
00:21:59,812 --> 00:22:03,167
Damien Trotter.
That's got a sort of ring to it there!
284
00:22:03,202 --> 00:22:07,887
No, I was just having a wind-up, that's all.
Why don't you call it Derek?
285
00:22:08,213 --> 00:22:13,231
Yes. Damien Derek Trotter.
286
00:22:13,266 --> 00:22:17,825
You can't call him that!
His initials'll be DDT.
287
00:22:19,645 --> 00:22:23,053
Well, there'll be no flies on him, then,
will there?
288
00:22:24,209 --> 00:22:26,655
No, Del, when I said Damien,
right, I was just having a la...
289
00:22:27,035 --> 00:22:28,528
I’ll get it.
290
00:22:32,901 --> 00:22:35,010
Trotters Independent Traders?
291
00:22:36,150 --> 00:22:40,293
Oh it's you, Cassandra!
And what can I do for you?
292
00:22:42,349 --> 00:22:44,673
And what exactly do you want to
see me about?
293
00:22:46,649 --> 00:22:52,078
Well, I'll pop round and see you.
Next week, next month - who knows?
294
00:22:52,389 --> 00:22:54,007
Thank you for calling. Bye bye.
295
00:23:02,315 --> 00:23:04,187
Wasn't very friendly, was it?
296
00:23:04,222 --> 00:23:07,086
Let people know where they stand,
that's my motto.
297
00:23:07,356 --> 00:23:11,099
Cassandra seems to think,
all she has to do is whistle and I'll come running.
298
00:23:11,481 --> 00:23:16,706
- The least you could do was ask how she was.
- I'll handle this my way, Derek, thank you...
299
00:23:22,538 --> 00:23:25,557
Well, I think I'll pop round
and see how Cassandra is.
300
00:23:26,001 --> 00:23:29,947
Yeah. That's it, bruv.
You've made her wait long enough.
301
00:23:49,169 --> 00:23:53,826
- Why didn't you use your front door key?
- I don’t know. It didn't seem right, somehow.
302
00:23:54,287 --> 00:23:55,637
Come in.
303
00:24:08,992 --> 00:24:13,421
- Would you like a drink?
- Nothing alcoholic, thanks. I've cleaned my act up.
304
00:24:13,623 --> 00:24:16,241
- Good.
- Coffee will be fine.
305
00:24:18,582 --> 00:24:26,691
- So how are things with the parents-to-be?
- Oh, Nelson Mandela House is on on amber alert.
306
00:24:28,854 --> 00:24:33,382
They're all just sitting there waiting
for the second coming of the Prince of Darkness.
307
00:24:36,089 --> 00:24:38,908
I've said to Del you're
gonna have trouble getting that kid shoes.
308
00:24:38,943 --> 00:24:41,798
cause Mothercare don't cater for cloven hooves.
309
00:24:41,833 --> 00:24:43,708
That poor baby!
310
00:24:43,743 --> 00:24:45,646
Poor baby nothing.
311
00:24:47,375 --> 00:24:49,744
All the ancient prophecies are coming true.
312
00:24:50,244 --> 00:24:53,583
The Satanic forces are gathering
in the skies above Peckham,
313
00:24:53,618 --> 00:24:59,942
Raquel's looking more like Mia Farrow every day.
So, what you been up to then? Anything exciting?
314
00:24:59,977 --> 00:25:03,906
- Not really. I saw Stephen today.
- Oh, yeah.
315
00:25:03,941 --> 00:25:06,464
D'you remember Stephen?
He used to work at my branch.
316
00:25:07,837 --> 00:25:11,635
- He's been moved up to head office.
- Cosmic.
317
00:25:12,470 --> 00:25:15,191
- You remember you used to call him a wally?
- Yeah.
318
00:25:15,401 --> 00:25:18,154
- I think you were right.
- Was I?
319
00:25:18,427 --> 00:25:23,746
You'll never guess.
He's only got one of those silly little ponytails.
320
00:25:27,751 --> 00:25:29,424
What a wally!
321
00:25:29,645 --> 00:25:32,400
He looks like he's wearing
a Davy Crockett hat!
322
00:25:35,197 --> 00:25:39,551
- I thought they was in the fashion, though.
- Yeah, amongst lame-brains!
323
00:25:46,779 --> 00:25:49,489
- What's wrong?
- Nothing!
324
00:25:50,365 --> 00:25:53,036
- Are you OK?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
325
00:25:58,529 --> 00:26:04,191
It was a nice Sunday, weren’t it?
Well, apart from the row we had in the maze.
326
00:26:05,335 --> 00:26:11,582
Yeah. I was right, though, wasn't I?
My way out was quickest.
327
00:26:11,617 --> 00:26:15,509
I don't think so. I had a look at the map
of the maze when I got home and I found...
328
00:26:17,023 --> 00:26:21,415
Yeah, I suppose so.
So, is that what you wanted to see me about?
329
00:26:21,450 --> 00:26:24,156
To discuss the quickest way out
of Hampton Court maze?
330
00:26:24,405 --> 00:26:29,522
No. I wanted to discuss us
and what's happening to us.
331
00:26:30,205 --> 00:26:36,152
Mummy and Daddy - well, Mummy really –
insisted that I saw our solicitor for advice.
332
00:26:37,698 --> 00:26:39,396
Getting that heavy, is it?
333
00:26:39,902 --> 00:26:43,112
No, it's not getting heavy
it was just for advice, that's all.
334
00:26:44,010 --> 00:26:49,141
And what did your solicitor advise?
Take the git for every penny he's got, I suppose?
335
00:26:49,526 --> 00:26:51,297
Don't expect a cheque from me, Cass.
336
00:26:51,332 --> 00:26:54,733
If you want half my estate
you can have it on a postal order.
337
00:26:55,180 --> 00:26:58,820
He didn't say anything like that.
He advised us to talk.
338
00:26:58,855 --> 00:27:01,656
Talk? That’s what causes the rows!
339
00:27:01,691 --> 00:27:07,716
That's what I said. But he advised us to try
and find out why we argue every time we speak.
340
00:27:07,751 --> 00:27:10,359
And what did you tell him?
It was my fault, I suppose?
341
00:27:11,176 --> 00:27:14,203
No, I didn't.
I said we were both to blame.
342
00:27:15,194 --> 00:27:18,112
He asked whether we'd
considered adding to our numbers
343
00:27:18,314 --> 00:27:21,030
something to concentrate
both our attentions.
344
00:27:22,597 --> 00:27:24,299
What, a baby?
345
00:27:24,334 --> 00:27:31,071
No, a dog. I don't think a baby
would be a good career move.
346
00:27:31,106 --> 00:27:32,976
Yeah, but I don't like dogs.
347
00:27:33,011 --> 00:27:36,996
Well, I don't mind them, it's just that
when I was little I got bitten by a Jack Russell.
348
00:27:38,438 --> 00:27:43,290
And a sausage dog,
and this half-poodle thing.
349
00:27:43,851 --> 00:27:48,812
Dogs just sort of bite me - it's an instinct.
How about a cat?
350
00:27:48,847 --> 00:27:51,688
No. I'm allergic.
I come out in a rash.
351
00:27:51,723 --> 00:27:55,580
- How about a parrot?
- No, they take so much looking after.
352
00:27:56,376 --> 00:28:00,950
- A gerbil?
- No. I can’t stand furry little things that run around.
353
00:28:00,985 --> 00:28:02,777
Make me go all funny.
354
00:28:02,812 --> 00:28:06,291
So we're looking for something
that don't take too much looking after,
355
00:28:06,326 --> 00:28:09,656
isn’t gonna run around a lot
and don't bring you out in a rash?
356
00:28:11,754 --> 00:28:14,184
How about a tin of salmon?
357
00:28:16,444 --> 00:28:19,328
Don't get sarcastic, Roddy.
358
00:28:20,481 --> 00:28:23,433
We could give it a name,
Rex or something.
359
00:28:24,737 --> 00:28:27,311
Then we could take it to the vets
for its injections.
360
00:28:28,733 --> 00:28:32,494
Put a bit of string round it and take it
for a walk every evening.
361
00:28:33,967 --> 00:28:37,582
And it wouldn't take much training, would it?
We could just threaten it with a tin-opener.
362
00:28:38,044 --> 00:28:42,549
See what I mean? We tried to talk
and you’ve just gone ridiculous again.
363
00:28:42,584 --> 00:28:45,397
It’s just ‘cause you put an obstacle
in front of every good idea!
364
00:28:45,432 --> 00:28:47,478
I was perfectly happy with a dog,
365
00:28:47,513 --> 00:28:51,071
just because you've been bitten
three or four times, you dismissed the idea.
366
00:28:51,399 --> 00:28:54,360
Alright, let’s get a dog!
Let's get a Doberman.
367
00:28:54,625 --> 00:28:58,710
Let the sod rip me limbs off and drink me blood!
I don't care as long as you’re happy.
368
00:28:58,925 --> 00:29:01,920
At this moment in time
that would make me ecstatic, Roddy!
369
00:29:03,442 --> 00:29:05,066
Right, fine...
370
00:29:05,464 --> 00:29:08,432
- ‘I'm going down the Nag's Head.’
- I'm going down the Nag's...
371
00:29:12,212 --> 00:29:16,933
Cass, we really ought to try harder
to make this work.
372
00:29:17,606 --> 00:29:22,304
If not for us then for our tin of salmon.
373
00:29:24,036 --> 00:29:27,695
- I'll phone you.
- Alright.
374
00:29:32,875 --> 00:29:37,444
- Down there by the chair. It's a mouse!
- A mouse? How'd a mouse get in here?
375
00:29:37,479 --> 00:29:41,499
- How the hell should I know! Get rid of it!
- Alright, alright. Just stay cool.
376
00:29:45,711 --> 00:29:48,638
- That’s not a mouse!
- What is it, then?
377
00:29:48,673 --> 00:29:50,226
It's the...
378
00:29:53,185 --> 00:29:54,883
It's a rat!
379
00:29:56,089 --> 00:29:57,436
You'll frighten it!
380
00:29:57,471 --> 00:30:00,142
- Get rid of it, Roddy, please!
- OK.
381
00:30:01,703 --> 00:30:03,338
You sure you don't wanna keep it
as a pet?
382
00:30:03,373 --> 00:30:05,587
- Get it out!
- Alright. Alright.
383
00:30:05,622 --> 00:30:10,600
- Do you want a broom to hit it with?
- No, it's alright. I've got me hands.
384
00:30:15,079 --> 00:30:16,938
Blimey, he's a strong one.
385
00:30:18,868 --> 00:30:24,890
He's struggling!
Are you sure you don't want to keep it as a pet?
386
00:30:24,925 --> 00:30:27,776
- Roddy!
- It's alright. I got it.
387
00:30:28,404 --> 00:30:29,755
Out of the way!
388
00:30:34,989 --> 00:30:38,430
I threw it out the landing window,
I think I killed it.
389
00:30:39,399 --> 00:30:43,757
- Oh Roddy!
- It's alright, it’s alright.
390
00:30:45,270 --> 00:30:47,191
I'm here.
391
00:31:02,878 --> 00:31:06,339
Oh, no! Me wig's going bald!
392
00:31:08,537 --> 00:31:11,956
This is gonna take
a bit of creative salesmanship, isn’t it?
393
00:31:12,567 --> 00:31:16,201
I know what I’ll say.
I'll say it's the Bruce Willis look.
394
00:31:17,869 --> 00:31:20,912
- During the war...
- Del, I think we better go.
395
00:31:20,947 --> 00:31:23,914
Yeah, I think you’re right.
Goodnight, Albert. Goodnight.
396
00:31:23,949 --> 00:31:27,621
- Not to bed! To the hospital. It's started.
- Are you sure?
397
00:31:27,656 --> 00:31:30,581
Yes, I've been timing the contractions.
We'd better go.
398
00:31:30,616 --> 00:31:34,245
The baby's on its way.
Do something, Del! Don't just sit there!
399
00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:36,567
- Calm down! Calm down.
- What are we gonna do?
400
00:31:37,545 --> 00:31:40,614
Phone someone! There's a bay on its way!
401
00:31:41,974 --> 00:31:46,388
Listen to me! I want you to go into my bedroom
and you’ll find a leather-look flight bag.
402
00:31:46,423 --> 00:31:48,693
It contains all of Raquel's hospital things.
403
00:31:48,728 --> 00:31:51,752
You go and get it,
take it downstairs to my Capri Ghia.
404
00:31:51,787 --> 00:31:55,760
- Alright?
- Alright, Del. I'll go and get it. What's it look like?
405
00:31:55,795 --> 00:32:01,290
Well, it looks like a fridge!
It's a bag, innit, you old div! Now go on!
406
00:32:01,325 --> 00:32:03,352
Aye, aye, Del. Leave it to me.
407
00:32:03,604 --> 00:32:05,921
Alright sweetheart. Nice and calm.
408
00:32:06,347 --> 00:32:11,094
Nice and calm, that's what they showed us
in the hospital. Albert, will you hurry up?
409
00:32:21,862 --> 00:32:24,735
- Hello?
- Cassandra, it’s Del Boy.
410
00:32:24,770 --> 00:32:27,683
What d'you want, Del? It's 11.30!
411
00:32:27,718 --> 00:32:32,063
I'm sorry to wake you, sweetheart,
I'm trying to find Rodney.
412
00:32:32,098 --> 00:32:37,245
Rodney? He was here earlier,
but he left about an hour ago. What's wrong?
413
00:32:38,610 --> 00:32:43,259
- Raquel's is gonna give birth to our baby.
- Have the labour pains started?
414
00:32:45,682 --> 00:32:48,481
You'll phone me as soon as the baby's born,
won't you?
415
00:32:48,516 --> 00:32:52,605
Yes, of course I will, sweetheart.
It’s just that I wanted Rodney to be there.
416
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:54,206
Here you are sweetheart, take your coat.
417
00:32:54,241 --> 00:32:59,093
Listen, I'll give you a bell as soon
as I get some news. Bonjour.
418
00:32:59,128 --> 00:33:02,281
Give Raquel my love and
tell her I'll be in to see her soon.
419
00:33:02,316 --> 00:33:03,706
Yes, I will.
420
00:33:03,905 --> 00:33:07,485
And give Rodney a nudge
and tell him to get his arse down the hospital.
421
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:09,153
Alright, Del.
422
00:33:10,727 --> 00:33:12,219
Del wants you with him!
423
00:33:12,254 --> 00:33:16,247
That's ridiculous! I've never heard
of the uncle being at the birth before!
424
00:33:16,282 --> 00:33:19,397
He doesn't want you in the delivery room!
Just at the hospital with him!
425
00:33:19,432 --> 00:33:23,686
You don't know him like I do! He'll have me
holding her leg in the air or something.
426
00:33:23,721 --> 00:33:25,427
I'll get your clothes.
427
00:33:26,281 --> 00:33:29,776
- Oh Cass! I'm comfy here!
- Here's your trousers.
428
00:33:31,727 --> 00:33:37,678
Oh God, it's a full moon!
Son of Del is being born on a full moon!
429
00:33:38,344 --> 00:33:40,620
I knew it! I bloody knew it!
430
00:33:41,553 --> 00:33:44,902
A couple of hours from now you
won't be able to sleep for the sound of howling.
431
00:33:44,937 --> 00:33:47,733
Oh don't be so silly!
Now where are the keys to the van?
432
00:33:47,768 --> 00:33:50,318
Where's me crucifix?
That's what I want to know.
433
00:33:55,052 --> 00:33:58,775
Oh look, Roddy, it's that rat you killed earlier!
434
00:33:58,810 --> 00:34:02,154
Doesn't it look like a clip
on ponytail when you get close up?
435
00:34:03,051 --> 00:34:07,005
- Ah no, listen, I never said it was a rat!
- You liar!
436
00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:12,322
I said it looked like a rat! And it did, didn't it?
I mean, you thought it was a mouse!
437
00:34:13,195 --> 00:34:14,909
Where'd you get it from?
438
00:34:15,194 --> 00:34:18,989
I was gonna wear it as a joke.
It must have fallen out of me pocket.
439
00:34:19,639 --> 00:34:23,995
I could report you to the police.
You took advantage of me, twice!
440
00:34:24,430 --> 00:34:29,200
I know, if the case goes to court,
would you say three times?
441
00:34:29,235 --> 00:34:33,637
You're lucky you're on your way to hospital.
It'll save the ambulance a journey.
442
00:34:33,672 --> 00:34:37,455
Now, come on, Cass, pack it in.
I've got a brother about to give birth!
443
00:34:41,772 --> 00:34:45,107
Alright, sweetheart,
the nurse has gone to get the delivery team.
444
00:34:45,442 --> 00:34:48,953
You've had your enema.
Everything's going according to plan.
445
00:34:49,216 --> 00:34:52,102
You're gonna stay here, aren't you, Del?
Don't go running off and leaving me.
446
00:34:52,137 --> 00:34:54,869
I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart.
I'm staying with you.
447
00:35:07,236 --> 00:35:09,660
Are those the specialists, Rodney?
448
00:35:10,501 --> 00:35:15,042
No, they've just come back from a fancy-dress party.
Of course they're the specialists.
449
00:35:16,655 --> 00:35:18,618
Alright? Good.
450
00:35:19,349 --> 00:35:21,453
Who is it? Friend or enema?
451
00:35:22,632 --> 00:35:26,250
- Friend or enema…
- Shut up, Del.
452
00:35:26,807 --> 00:35:30,307
Yeah, shut up, Del. It's alright, darling.
I’m going to see who it is. You stay there, alright?
453
00:35:32,316 --> 00:35:36,193
- The specialists are on their way, Del.
- Thanks, Unc. You go and sit down, go on.
454
00:35:38,001 --> 00:35:39,638
Here they come. That’s it.
Thank you.
455
00:35:39,673 --> 00:35:41,774
Excuse me, excuse me, John.
We're having a baby in here.
456
00:35:41,809 --> 00:35:46,061
- I know, that's why I'm here.
- What are you, a pervo or something?
457
00:35:46,096 --> 00:35:50,425
- This is Mr McCullum. He's the midwife.
- He's a bloke.
458
00:35:50,460 --> 00:35:54,157
I'm a trained midwife.
Now, please get out of my way.
459
00:35:54,192 --> 00:35:56,966
- Just let him do his job, Del.
- No, he's a bloke.
460
00:35:57,001 --> 00:36:00,256
I don't care if he's a trained chimp!
Get out of his way.
461
00:36:00,995 --> 00:36:03,521
Alright, alright, but you just watch it though?
462
00:36:04,002 --> 00:36:06,291
Calm down, calm down.
Remember your blood pressure.
463
00:36:06,484 --> 00:36:09,277
- How are you feeling, Raquel?
- Not too bad at the moment.
464
00:36:09,587 --> 00:36:11,625
- Have you timed the contractions?
- Three minutes.
465
00:36:11,660 --> 00:36:13,529
- Is that good?
- Yes, that's good.
466
00:36:13,564 --> 00:36:14,955
Cushty.
467
00:36:14,990 --> 00:36:17,735
- Would you set the monitor up?
- Nurse, the gas and air.
468
00:36:19,144 --> 00:36:22,182
- What's that thing for?
- It monitors the baby's heartbeat.
469
00:36:23,590 --> 00:36:25,116
Lovely Jubbly.
470
00:36:29,319 --> 00:36:33,880
- It's going to be a boy. I know it is.
- Can't be sure of anything, son.
471
00:36:34,288 --> 00:36:41,029
No, it's a boy. Mars and something else
have come into conjunction
472
00:36:41,064 --> 00:36:46,203
and decided that he would be born in Peckham.
473
00:36:48,327 --> 00:36:50,775
They've got the baby's heartbeat.
474
00:36:51,299 --> 00:36:55,024
Half an hour's time we'll have the
bestest knees up our family's ever known.
475
00:36:55,396 --> 00:36:56,961
Is everything alright, Del?
476
00:36:56,996 --> 00:37:00,287
Everything's absolutely fine. The baby's fine.
Raquel's fine.
477
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:05,198
In 48 hours' time we'll be going back to the flat
with another addition to the Trotter family.
478
00:37:05,459 --> 00:37:08,137
Oi, Del. Have they said
anything about the sex?
479
00:37:08,326 --> 00:37:13,154
- Oh give her time, Rodney.
- No, I mean...
480
00:37:31,198 --> 00:37:33,126
How much longer is it gonna take?
481
00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:37,016
It's alright, sweetheart, alright.
He'll take as long as he needs to take.
482
00:37:37,648 --> 00:37:45,029
He wants to make sure that he gets everything just right,
‘cause he's a perfectionist, like his dad.
483
00:37:45,064 --> 00:37:47,150
I was talking about the midwife.
484
00:37:47,500 --> 00:37:50,740
Oh I see. Oi, you, pal,
how much longer is this gonna take?
485
00:37:50,775 --> 00:37:53,315
Nature will run its course, Mr Trotter.
486
00:37:53,350 --> 00:37:57,178
When the baby's ready to put in an appearance,
he'll let us now.
487
00:37:57,410 --> 00:37:59,864
Push Raquel! Push as hard as you can!
488
00:38:00,606 --> 00:38:03,275
Go on, give it everything you got, girl.
489
00:38:07,500 --> 00:38:10,019
Don't you ever come near me again, Trotter.
490
00:38:10,699 --> 00:38:12,688
There's no need to be like that,
sweetheart.
491
00:38:13,690 --> 00:38:16,273
- I suppose they're all like this, are they?
- No.
492
00:38:17,779 --> 00:38:19,511
I'll get the gas and air.
493
00:38:31,962 --> 00:38:38,679
Raquel, Raquel, I can see his head.
He's got a full head of hair.
494
00:38:41,837 --> 00:38:44,143
Some bloody spiv.
495
00:38:49,226 --> 00:38:51,083
I'll scrub up.
496
00:39:22,951 --> 00:39:26,102
Come on, Raquel,
give it some welly, girl!
497
00:39:28,896 --> 00:39:32,298
Shouldn't be too long now, Raquel.
The contractions are becoming more frequent.
498
00:39:32,333 --> 00:39:36,425
I know... I'm the one having the contractions.
Would you let go of my leg, Del?
499
00:39:36,703 --> 00:39:39,516
Alright, sorry sweetheart.
Would you like some gas and air?
500
00:39:39,551 --> 00:39:41,028
No thank you.
501
00:39:48,943 --> 00:39:53,616
It's good stuff, this.
Better not tell Rodney about it.
502
00:39:54,313 --> 00:39:57,969
- Oh no, here's another one.
- Push hard, there's a good girl.
503
00:39:58,004 --> 00:40:01,258
- Del, can I hold your hand?
- Yes, of course you can, sweetheart, go on.
504
00:40:03,191 --> 00:40:05,731
- Push.
- Steady on, Raquel, steady on.
505
00:40:27,716 --> 00:40:31,076
- Did that hurt, Del?
- Yes, it did a bit, sweetheart.
506
00:40:31,111 --> 00:40:33,620
Now you know
what it's bloody well like!
507
00:40:35,208 --> 00:40:37,963
This giving birth
ain't all it's cracked up to be, is it?
508
00:40:39,740 --> 00:40:41,716
- Breathe easily, Raquel.
- Nice and deeply.
509
00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:46,321
Breathe easily.
Breathe easily Raquel.
510
00:40:50,632 --> 00:40:53,724
I can see its head.
Raquel, I can see his head!
511
00:40:53,983 --> 00:40:58,449
- That's very good. The head's in position.
- I can see his head, Raquel!
512
00:41:01,723 --> 00:41:04,492
Rodney, I can see his head!
513
00:41:06,137 --> 00:41:09,485
Is it... you know, normal?
514
00:41:09,699 --> 00:41:13,123
Normal? What do you mean, normal?
Of course it's normal. I mean it's just a head.
515
00:41:13,464 --> 00:41:17,179
There aren't any sort of numbers on it?
516
00:41:17,214 --> 00:41:21,347
Numbers? What are you talking about, Rodney?
What do you think this is, a bloody raffle?
517
00:41:23,971 --> 00:41:25,633
That's it, Raquel.
518
00:41:28,345 --> 00:41:32,532
There we are. The head's out.
Relax now. Just relax for a minute.
519
00:41:35,605 --> 00:41:43,848
Raquel, it's his face. He's got a little eyes.
And he’s got a little nose. He's got little ears.
520
00:41:45,345 --> 00:41:47,959
Come on Raquel. One more push.
521
00:42:00,906 --> 00:42:08,988
- Well, that's it then. It's all over.
- Well, that's me off then.
522
00:42:09,422 --> 00:42:11,026
Don't you want to see the baby?
523
00:42:11,061 --> 00:42:13,398
No, I'm not fussed.
I can see it tomorrow, can't I?
524
00:42:13,433 --> 00:42:18,006
Del won't like it if you go.
It's important to him that you stay here, Rodney.
525
00:42:38,692 --> 00:42:41,033
It's a baby, Raquel.
526
00:42:41,334 --> 00:42:45,436
Is it? I've been wondering
what that swelling was.
527
00:42:46,615 --> 00:42:49,270
We've got ourselves
a lovely little baby.
528
00:42:49,876 --> 00:42:55,420
- I know. I love you.
- I love you too, sweetheart.
529
00:43:01,253 --> 00:43:06,349
We've done it!
We've only bloody done it!
530
00:43:06,622 --> 00:43:09,734
- Congratulations, son.
- What is it Del?
531
00:43:10,285 --> 00:43:15,530
- It's a little baby, Rodney.
- Is it a boy or a girl?
532
00:43:17,323 --> 00:43:18,967
Oh, hang on.
533
00:43:21,883 --> 00:43:23,978
Is it a boy or a girl?
534
00:43:27,823 --> 00:43:35,905
It's a boy. I’ll tell you what, he won't be
frightened to get changed in the showers.
535
00:43:38,341 --> 00:43:40,404
It's a boy.
536
00:43:51,334 --> 00:43:55,515
Well, Mr Trotter, if he keeps you awake at night,
don't bring him back to us.
537
00:43:56,164 --> 00:44:01,333
No thanks, sister. He can keep me awake
as long as he likes. Thanks, doc.
538
00:44:01,368 --> 00:44:04,030
My pleasure, and sorry about this.
539
00:44:05,331 --> 00:44:08,077
That's alright. Here, listen.
If you like I can get you a real good 'un.
540
00:44:08,112 --> 00:44:10,919
They normally retail at 100 quid up West,
to you, nothing.
541
00:44:10,954 --> 00:44:13,282
No, really. I don't think I'll bother any more.
542
00:44:13,597 --> 00:44:15,762
- Congratulations.
- Thanks very much.
543
00:44:17,527 --> 00:44:21,386
He's gorgeous. Look at that little face.
544
00:44:23,099 --> 00:44:26,006
You want to look down there.
He's got no worries.
545
00:44:26,606 --> 00:44:28,315
If you say so, Del.
546
00:44:29,767 --> 00:44:32,188
I'll bet you wouldn't say no
to a cup of tea?
547
00:44:32,223 --> 00:44:37,073
- Yeah, not half. Would you like one love?
- Yes please.
548
00:44:37,533 --> 00:44:39,568
Get Raquel one an' all,
will you sweetheart?
549
00:44:45,371 --> 00:44:47,199
I'll get Rodney and Albert.
550
00:44:50,206 --> 00:44:52,512
Rodney, Albert, come on, come on.
551
00:44:52,885 --> 00:44:55,567
Here, cover yourself up, sweetheart.
You might catch cold.
552
00:45:00,586 --> 00:45:03,189
Here, give him to me, sweetheart.
553
00:45:09,075 --> 00:45:16,959
Rodney, Albert,
let me introduce you to Damien.
554
00:45:27,102 --> 00:45:31,157
- He's got your eyes, Del.
- Yeah.
555
00:45:32,839 --> 00:45:34,938
You wanna see him down there!
556
00:45:36,930 --> 00:45:39,008
Come on, you, come with me for a minute.
557
00:45:52,772 --> 00:46:00,605
There you are, Mum. I know you can see us.
There he is, look, your first grandchild.
558
00:46:00,640 --> 00:46:04,344
- And last.
- And the last.
559
00:46:06,045 --> 00:46:12,434
Oh, you are such a lucky little boy,
you really are.
560
00:46:13,294 --> 00:46:18,274
You've got a mummy and daddy who think
you're the most precious thing in the whole wide world.
561
00:46:20,065 --> 00:46:24,911
You've got a lovely family around you.
You have, look.
562
00:46:26,548 --> 00:46:29,280
You've got your Uncle Rodney to play with.
563
00:46:30,809 --> 00:46:37,950
Great-Uncle Albert. He'll tell you about all the places
in the world he's been to. And sunk.
564
00:46:41,369 --> 00:46:43,158
And there's me.
565
00:46:44,113 --> 00:46:47,202
And you're gonna have all the things
your daddy couldn't afford.
566
00:46:48,524 --> 00:46:52,957
‘cause I've been a bit of a dreamer, you know.
Yeah, I have.
567
00:46:53,399 --> 00:47:01,118
You know I wanted to do things, be someone,
but I never had what it took.
568
00:47:01,505 --> 00:47:06,404
But you're different, you're gonna
live my dreams for me
569
00:47:06,694 --> 00:47:08,753
and you’re gonna do all the things
I wanted to do
570
00:47:08,788 --> 00:47:11,252
and you're gonna come
back and tell me about them.
571
00:47:11,552 --> 00:47:14,194
Tell me if they're as good as I thought they’d be.
572
00:47:14,997 --> 00:47:18,869
And you're gonna have such fun. You are!
573
00:47:19,711 --> 00:47:24,481
And when you get the hump,
‘cause you're bound to get the hump sometimes,
574
00:47:25,575 --> 00:47:27,763
I'll muck about and make you laugh.
575
00:47:29,427 --> 00:47:34,124
‘cause I've mucked about all my life,
and I never knew the reason why until now.
576
00:47:35,855 --> 00:47:41,629
This is what it's all about.
I was born for this moment.
577
00:47:42,161 --> 00:47:49,392
Yes. Oh we're gonna have such fun,
we are, you mark my words.
578
00:47:52,505 --> 00:47:57,246
This time next year we'll be millionaires.
579
00:48:11,432 --> 00:48:15,233
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