All language subtitles for Gomer Pyle U S M C S05E09 Come Blow Your Top 1080p BluRay FLAC2 0 H 264-BTN_track5_[eng]

[marching band plays]

[male announcer] Gomer Pyle, USMC.

Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.

How about it, Hacker? Let's go!

Just take it easy, Vince.

All right, son, why don't you just
sleep on it tonight,

we'll talk about it again tomorrow. I'm
sure everything will work out all right.

Ten minutes with that kid.
What are you, the chaplain?

What can I do? Whenever my boys have
a problem, they come running to me.

I guess I must be their father image.

Yeah, okay, okay.
Just play the cards, Pop.

Hey, Vince, you didn't
look at my cards, did you?

- Me? Would I do a thing like that?
- New deal.

What do you mean new deal?
I had a good hand!

The minute you threw
your jack of spades, I'd...

- Uh, what I mean is, I had a hand...
- I know what you mean.

That's why it's a new deal. [chuckles]

I guess it's all part of being a sergeant.

- What's part of what? What?
- Having to wet-nurse these guys,

- listening to their troubles.
- Sure, sure, just deal.

I don't know what it is
between me and them.

I guess it's what you could call rapport.

Unfortunately, that's something
that you ain't got with your men.

What are you talking about?
I rap-port with my men as good as you!

Oh, yeah? Do they ever confide in you?

Do they ever come to you
with their problems?

What's that got to do with rap-port?

Besides, I ain't no Dear Abby.

I look at it as all part of the job.

I mean, a guy like me, I've been around,
I've seen everything.

I know all the angles. I can give them
the benefit of my experience.

- Will you draw a card?!
- Ah, you see?

That's why your men don't come to you.
You've got no patience.

- You lose your temper too easily.
- Yeah, yeah! Will you play cards?!

Your men are afraid of you, Vince.

Oh, they might respect you, they might
even like you, but you're not well-liked.

Did you know that, Vince?
You are not well-liked?

I'm well-liked! I'm well-liked!

Now, for Pete's sakes,
will you take a card?!

I don't have to. I got gin.

[laughs]

Ohh-ho-ho!

[blows whistle]

Hit the road! Come on, let's move!

Move it! Move it! Move it!
Move it! Move it! Move it!

Come on, fall in!
Let's go, you creeping knuckleheads!

Move! Move! Move! Move! Move! Move!

All right, before we get started
on today's details,

I wanna prove something.

I wanna prove that I've got rap-port
with all my men.

Okay, who has a problem
he'd like to discuss with me?

Anybody. Something you'd like to get
off your chest.

Well, don't just stand there like a bunch
of knuckleheads, get off the dime!

Who's got a problem?

Look, somebody's gotta have a problem
he'd like to discuss

with someone who's older and wiser
and patient! Now, who is it? Come on!

Okay, dummies.
I'm standing here, ready to help,

and you're too stupid to take advantage.

You don't want to have rap-port
with a father image, don't!

Rap-port! Them knuckleheads wouldn't
understand it if it hit 'em in the mouth!

- Huh?
- Nothing.

Slater... do you like me?

Huh?

I asked you a simple question!
Do you like me?

Sure, I like you, Sarge.

How much do you like me?

Well, I like you, Sarge.

But not well, huh?

O...kay.

- Sergeant?
- What do you want, Pyle?

Well, I've got this problem,

and it's personal,

and that's how come
I didn't speak up outside.

Well, come on in! Come in!

Now, what is your problem?

Well, I'm kinda embarrassed about this.

I've never discussed it
with anybody before.

Huh?

- Oh, uh, Slater, would you excuse us?
- Oh, sure, Sarge.

Okay, Pyle.

But I did wanna talk it over with somebody

that's wiser and older and more patient,

like you said you are.

Okay, okay, let's hear it.

Well...

the last time I went to the dentist
for a checkup,

he said I had this under bite.

Now, it's not a bad one,
and it can be corrected.

I never had it done as a child, but he
says it ain't too late to do it now.

Now, what I need is a retainer.

Now, that's one of them steel wires
that sits in your mouth.

It'd fit over these front teeth,
like that,

and it's held in place by a strap
that goes all the way around your neck.

Now, the good part about it is
I wouldn't have to wear it during the day,

but just at night when I go to bed.

But I'm not really sure
I wanna go to all that bother.

And, well, I'd have to wear it
for an awful long time

and, well, I just don't know.

- What do you think, Sergeant?
- Get out of here.

- But, Sergeant...
- You got your nerve

bothering me with your stupid under bite!

- But, Sergeant, you said...
- I said out!

And don't come bugging me
with any more of your stupid problems!

- Well, Sergeant, I...
- Out! Slater, get him out of here!

I'm a sergeant, not a dentist!
Out! Get out!

- Gomer, you better get out of here.
- Get out of here!

- Uh-huh! Uh-huh!
- "Uh-huh"? What, "uh-huh"? What? What?

Like I said, you got no patience.
You can't help blowing your top.

Did you hear that stupid discussion?
What to do about his stupid under bite?

I don't care what it's about.
You're not supposed to lose your temper.

What are you talking about? I don't lose
my temper any more than anybody else.

Come on, you couldn't go one day
without blowing your stack.

Oh, why don't you knock it off, Hacker?

I'm in full and complete
control of myself.

I'll say it again! You can't go one day
without blowing your top!

- Bet?
- Bet!

I'll bet you I can go as long as I want
without even raising my voice.

- Ten bucks?
- Ten bucks? Why so chintzy?

- Let's make it hurt. Say 50?
- All right, pal, you got a deal.

24 hours. And remember that me and my boys

will be watching and listening
every minute for the explosion.

The only explosion you're gonna hear

is the champagne corks popping
when I spend the dough!

Slater, make a note. It's exactly 1700.

At this time tomorrow,
I'll be collecting the bet.

We'll see. We'll see.

Just remember, Big Brother is listening.

Oh-ho-ho, ho-ho-ho-ho!
The easiest dough I ever made.

I don't know, Sarge.
24 hours is a long time.

Are you trying to tell me I can't...!

I can control it, Slater.
I can control it.

- Hiya, Pyle.
- Hi, Sergeant Hacker, Corporal Jensen.

Hiya, Pyle. Say, I happened to overhear

part of your conversation back there
in the duty hut.

What was it that you and Sergeant Carter
were discussing?

Oh, well, I don't really think
it's anything you'd be interested in.

- No, I am.
- Well, it's kinda personal.

Pyle, you can talk to me.
Was it something about an under bite?

That's right. It was about my under bite.

Why do you say I wouldn't be interested?

I happen to be very interested
in under bites.

- Really?
- Well, sure.

Is that what you've got? I always thought
you had a pretty nice bite.

Oh, no. You see how my lower teeth
jut out further than my upper ones?

Well, the dentist says that can be
corrected with a retainer.

But I wasn't sure I wanted to go
to all the trouble.

That's what I was asking Sergeant Carter
about. I wanted his advice.

Yeah, well, that's an important problem,
Pyle.

I know if one of my men came to me with
it, I'd sure try to advise him what to do.

Sergeant Carter wasn't too interested.

I really can't blame him.
It's not his problem.

Ah, no.

You probably just caught him
in a bad mood.

As a matter of fact,
only last week he was telling me

how much he misses counseling with you.

You know, those father-son talks
you two used to have together.

He misses those.
You've been ignoring him, Pyle.

- You really think so?
- I'm positive. I know your sergeant.

He was probably busy when you tried
to talk to him, now, wasn't he?

- No, he was just sitting there.
- Just sitting and thinking.

And you interrupted his train of thought.

You see, Pyle,
creative men like Sergeant Carter

don't like to have their train of thought
interrupted.

- Oh, I'd try him again.
- Well, maybe I will.

I'd sure value somebody else's
opinion on this.

Then go, my boy. You couldn't find a more
understanding man than Sergeant Carter.

You know, Jensen, I made this bet
only ten minutes ago.

This may be the fastest payoff in history.
[laughs]

Okay, Sarge, tetanus shots.

Check off Dumbrowski, Fitzgerald,

Naspo, Griffith, Einecker, Banducci...

Slater! Will you slow down?
I gotta make Xs.

- Sergeant Carter?
- Huh?

- Hi, Gome.
- Hi, Duke.

- Excuse me, Sergeant.
- Griffith...

Are you on a train of thought?

What? What?

Well, I didn't wanna interrupt
your train of thought.

- What is it, Pyle?
- Well, it's about that problem

I was talking to you about. My under bite?

- Pyle, I told you...!
- Sarge.

What about it?

Well, I'm not sure if I made it
clear enough how important it is.

The under bite don't affect my talking,
but then on the other hand,

I don't get all the good
out of chewing that I should.

You've probably noticed that I'm always
the last one in the platoon

- to finish an ear of corn.
- Do it, Pyle, do it.

- Get the retainer?
- Yeah, Pyle. Go. Right away.

Well, ain't that something!

Here I've been saying yes one minute
and no the next

and you come up with a decision
just like that. It's just what I needed.

Yeah, Pyle. Go. Make an appointment.

I sure will, Sergeant. And thank you.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

- Oops!
- [screams]

- [whimpers]
- Boy, I'm sorry, Sergeant.

[Carter] Just go, Pyle. Just... go!

Should I get another chart?

[grunts]

[groans]

- He didn't blow.
- That's all right.

- It's just a matter of time.
- I don't know, Sarge.

Maybe we should try
and get to the rest of his platoon.

No, we got to the right man.
All we gotta do

is let Pyle and nature take their course.

[blows whistle]

All right, men, fall out!

Come on, let's move!
Move! Move! Move! Move!

Oh, Pyle!

Your shirt is still sticking out a bit.
Uh, tuck it in, will you, please?

Yes, sir, Sergeant, I sure will.

[Carter] Good, son.

Very good.

[laughs]

[laughs]

Golly, Sergeant, I'm sorry.

I didn't know you was coming out.

That's, uh, that's all right, Pyle.

It's my own fault.
I should always watch where I'm going.

Carry on.

[laughs]

- What are you doing here, Pyle?
- Oh, hey, Sergeant.

I finished policing up the area
and had a little time before lunch,

- so I thought I'd spruce up in here.
- Uh, you don't have to. Really.

Oh, I don't mind, Sergeant.
I like doing things for you.

Some other time, Pyle.

I'm almost finished.
All I gotta do is dust up here.

- Oh!
- [clattering]

My sword!

I'm sorry.
I didn't know it was up there, Sergeant.

- Did you break it?
- No, Sergeant, there's no damage.

- Not even a scratch.
- Well, we can be grateful for that!

That sword means a lot to me.

I captured it from an enemy officer
during the Inchon landing.

Yeah, it's all right here
in the inscription.

Don't worry, Sergeant.
There ain't no damage, see?

- [groans]
- Golly, Sergeant! Did I hurt you?

No, no. There's no blood.

You just broke the skin a little.
[whimpers]

Slater.

- Hi, Sarge.
- Shh!

Do you see Pyle anywhere around?

- No.
- Good.

Maybe I can get to the mess hall
without running into him.

- Think you're gonna make it?
- I'll make it.

I just hope the time passes fast.
I'm getting cramps holding it in!

I'll be all right if I can just stay away
from Pyle, but I'm getting cramps, Slater!

[Gomer] Hey, Sergeant! Up here!

- Huh?
- I just wanted to let you know

I got an appointment
with the dentist for tomorrow.

Pyle, be careful with that can of paint!

Oh, this is just the thinner.
This is the paint.

[grunts]

- He's made of iron!
- Yeah.

It don't look like nature's
taking its course.

So I think I'll have to help it along
a little.

All right.

Did you know Colonel Gray
was gonna be on this inspection?

No, but it sure ain't gonna do any harm.

Good.

[Gray] Sergeant.

- Yes, sir.
- What is that?

It looks like a dead chicken, sir.

[Gray] Would you mind telling me
what it's doing in there?

I don't know, sir.

Pyle...

what is this dead chicken
doing in your locker?

Go-Olly!

Well, I ain't got the faintest idea,
Sergeant.

- I never saw it before.
- He never saw it before, sir.

- Get rid of it!
- Yes, sir!

- Ten-hut!
- Carry on!

Get rid of the chicken, Pyle,
just get rid of it.

Yes, sir.

[suppressed whimper]

[engine starts]

[screams]

[screams]

[screams]

Left, right, left!

Left, left!

Platoon... halt!

Right face!

Dismissed.

[men murmur]

Go-Olly, I wonder what's wrong
with Sergeant Carter.

He ain't been acting hisself lately.

Yeah, he hasn't yelled once all day.
You think he's becoming human?

Well, that's not a very nice thing to say.
Something's eating at him.

He seems so low and depressed.

Hey, Eddie,
would you take these things for me?

I'm gonna see if there's anything
I can do for him.

[groans]

How much longer, Slater?

- Two hours and 15 minutes, Sarge.
- [whimpers]

Getting out and yelling
didn't do any good, huh?

No. It ain't the same
as yelling at somebody.

- [whimpers]
- Do you think you can hold out?

I gotta. Hacker ain't gonna win this bet.

All I gotta do
is keep Pyle out of my hair.

- Sergeant...
- [gasps]

- Is there something wrong?
- Nothing. Nothing.

You're having stomach pains, ain't ya?

Just stay away from me, Pyle!

I was just worried about you is all,
Sergeant.

'Cause if you are having stomach pains,
you know what would be good?

Grandma Pyle used to always cure
us young 'uns with...

I'll be all right, Pyle. Just go.

Are you sure that
there's nothing I can do?

Gomer, he just has to rest a while.
He'll be okay.

Well, I don't know, Duke.
It's not good to let these things go.

If he's feeling colicky,
the best thing to do...

Don't worry about it.
He'll be fine in a few hours.

[Carter groans]

Tsk-tsk-tsk.

- Here are those requisitions, Sarge.
- Thanks, Jensen.

Only two hours and five minutes to go.
It's getting close.

You may lose yourself 50 bucks, Sarge.

- I don't think so.
- What makes you so sure?

- You're losing faith in our secret weapon.
- Secret... Huh?

- Pyle. He's not gonna let us down.
- I don't know. The way things are going...

- Sergeant Hacker?
- Uh-huh. Yeah, what is it, Pyle?

Could I borrow some bicarbonate
and a lemon?

- What for?
- Well, it's for Sergeant Carter.

- He's having stomach pains.
- Oh?

And I thought I'd fix him up some of
Grandma Pyle's stomach medicine.

A half a lemon and two tablespoons
of bicarbonate and some sassafras root.

You don't have to give me the sassafras
root. I keep that in my locker.

Yeah. Well, to tell you the truth, Pyle,
I don't think that would do him any good.

You see, his problem isn't physical.
It's mental.

- Mental?
- That's right. For some strange reason,

which I can't possibly figure out,

I noticed that he's been holding himself
in lately, keeping everything inside.

Oh, well, then the bicarbonate
wouldn't do any good.

Are you kidding? Could be the worst thing
in the world for him.

All that soda bubbling up inside there.
He could blow up.

Would you like to see your sergeant
blow up?

- Oh, no!
- He needs a jolt, a real jolt.

Like a shock treatment.
Let me think. Uh...

I got it.
That sword that he keeps in the duty hut,

that's his most prized possession, right?

Oh, yeah.
He's real fussy about that sword.

Then it's simple. All you gotta do
is walk in and break it,

right in front of his eyes.

Well, you mean break his prized sword?
Why?

Well, like I said, Pyle, to make him blow.

Oh, look, you wouldn't really be breaking
his prized sword.

I'll pick up a cheap souvenir sword
that looks like it.

You know, when he's not around,
I'll substitute it. See?

You break the phony, he'll blow,

he'll be cured,
then you can tell him it was just a fake.

Well, I still don't know.

Look, Pyle, you walk in in a half an hour.

By that time,
I will have substituted the sword.

You break the sword,
you've saved your sergeant.

Well, okay.
I just hope you know what you're doing.

Trust me, Pyle. In a half hour, right?

- All right.
- Good.

[chuckles]

Where you gonna get a substitute sword?

What substitute sword?

Yeah, Pyle? What are you doing
with my sword? You already cleaned it.

- Oh, I'm not gonna clean it.
- Then what are you gonna do with it?

I'm gonna break it.

[gasps]

[whimpers]

[grunting]

Come on, Sergeant, don't hold it in.

Let it out of your spout.
It'll be good for you.

Pyle...

...just... go.

Go-Olly.

It didn't work. And all the time,
Sergeant Hacker thought it would.

[Carter] Huh?

What did you say about Sergeant Hacker?

Well, he was just as worried about you
as I was,

and so we did this
to help you let off some steam.

You know,
to get rid of them stomach pains.

And he talked you into breaking my sword?

Oh, you don't have to worry about that.
Sergeant Hacker substituted it.

This ain't your sword.
This is just a cheap fake.

See, it says right here: "Captured
at Inchon by Corporal Vincent Carter..."

He didn't substitute it.

He lied to me, Sergeant.
Why would he do a thing like that?

- 50 bucks, Pyle.
- What?

We had a bet that I couldn't go 24 hours
without yelling.

And he was sabotaging me by using you.

Well... Well, I don't know what to say.

I broke your sword.
I broke it right in two.

[chuckles]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs hysterically]

I won, Pyle! Don't you see? I won!

He threw everything he could at me
and I fielded it. [laughs]

What about this sword you captured?

Look, I feel so good, I'll level with you.

I didn't capture that sword at Inchon.

- You didn't?
- No! I won it in a card game at Inchon.

[laughs] Not that I still don't treasure it.

But when I collect that bet from Hacker,

I'll use some of the dough
to get it fixed.

That's right, 'cause all you got to do
is solder this half to this.

[groans]

Golly!

Broke the skin again, Sergeant?

[whimpers]

[chuckles]

- I got it won, Slater! I got it won!
- Not so fast, Sarge.

- You still got ten minutes to go.
- Aw, come on.

Good news, good news!

I just came from Sergeant Hacker,

and he said you beat him fair and square
and he paid off the bet.

He conceded ahead of time?
He gave you the 50?

- He sure did!
- You see? It's over!

I never had any doubts about winning.

That's one thing I learned in the Marines,
control, complete self-control.

It was knocked into me in boot camp
and I never lost it.

Control, Slater, control.

Nobody or nothing can rattle it.

- Okay, Pyle, let's have the cash.
- Yes, sir.

What's this?

Sergeant Hacker's IOU.

IOU? He didn't give you cash?

Well, he said he didn't have the cash
right now,

and he wondered if you'd accept an IOU,

and I took it upon myself
to say that I thought you would.

Oh, it's good, Sergeant.
See, that's his signature, right there.

You knucklehead! Who asked you
to stick your nose in my business?

Who asked you to take a worthless IOU?!

Where do you get off taking it on yourself
to accept IOUs for me?

Stay out of my bets, Pyle. Stay out
of my bets and stay out of my life!

And get out of here before I shove
this paper down your throat!

Get out of here! Out! Out!
Out, out, out, out, out!

- [laughs] Too bad, Vince!
- Huh?

[laughs] All you had to do was hold out
just another five minutes.

[laughs]

Ooh-hoo-hoo!

...30, 40,

45, 50.

Thank you very much, Vincent.
A pleasure doing business with you.

And don't take it too hard.
Look at it as part of your education.

And just remember to stay
in the minor leagues

and don't go fooling around
with an old pro. [laughs]

- Sergeant Hacker?
- Yeah, Pyle.

Now that you've got the $50,
you'll probably wanna take care of this.

- Take care of what?
- This IOU from you to Sergeant Carter.

Don't you remember?
It's your signature and your handwriting.

- Hey, now, wait a minute.
- Yeah! You owe me 50 clams!

It says so right here on paper!

- But, Vince, that's not ethical.
- Oh, yeah?

It's just as ethical as you
setting Pyle up to break my sword.

Besides which, it's legal.

- But, but...
- No buts. Thank you very much.

It's a pleasure doing business with you.
[laughs]

Well, ain't that fine?
Nobody won and nobody lost.

- That's the best kind of gambling.
- [Hacker groans]

Sergeant Hacker,
are you having stomach pains?

Well, it might not be physical.
It could be mental.

Why don't you try yelling a little?

[Carter laughs]